1. "Madonna."Copy !req
2. Simply saying the word aloud
makes me feel powerful.Copy !req
3. Even in voice-over,
how I have worshipped herCopy !req
4. ever since I was a little girl.Copy !req
5. Sorry, Angie Jolie,
Catherine the Great...Copy !req
6. Madonna is the most powerful womanCopy !req
7. to ever walk the face
of the Earth.Copy !req
8. I'm instating a new policy wherebyCopy !req
9. quite loudly, throughout
the entire school day.Copy !req
10. But blasting her delicious
hooks would make it impossibleCopy !req
11. for the students to concentrate.Copy !req
12. Ah, who cares? Madonna
never finished college.Copy !req
13. She hopped a cab for
the bright lightsCopy !req
14. of New York City with
35 bucks in her pocket.Copy !req
15. And I think we should encourage
our pupils to do the same.Copy !req
16. You say the word,
and I will provide youCopy !req
17. a list of the students
I believe should beCopy !req
18. rounded up and shipped
off immediately.Copy !req
19. I am sorry, Sue.
This is insanity!Copy !req
20. What you call insanity,
I call inspiration.Copy !req
21. Let me break it down for you.Copy !req
22. It's been the biggest
dream of my careerCopy !req
23. to pay homage to Madonna...Copy !req
24. the woman most responsible
for my take-no-prisonersCopy !req
25. demeanor, and my subconscious
tendency to always beCopy !req
26. desperately looking for
someone named Susan.Copy !req
27. And now, my Cheerio Squad this yearCopy !req
28. finally has the talent to
make that dream come true.Copy !req
29. You will not take
that dream from me.Copy !req
30. Do you not understandCopy !req
31. the blackmail process
and how it works?Copy !req
32. Smile.Copy !req
33. I have your wife's phone
number on speed dial.Copy !req
34. To recap, you will be
playing those Madonna hitsCopy !req
35. throughout the day at
an earsplitting volume.Copy !req
36. Understood?
Santana.Copy !req
37. What does your bracelet say?Copy !req
38. "W.W.M.D."
"What would Madonna do?"Copy !req
39. Well, the answer to
that question is usuallyCopy !req
40. date a younger man.Copy !req
41. So, let's see some
arm candy, girls.Copy !req
42. And you know why?
'Cause if you want to beCopy !req
43. as riveting a performer
as Madonna...Copy !req
44. a skill that will nab us NationalsCopy !req
45. this year... you're
going to have to startCopy !req
46. thinking like her, acting like her.
Also...Copy !req
47. ÃÂ la Madonna,
I will no longer acknowledgeCopy !req
48. that any of you have last names.Copy !req
49. Becky Jackson.
From now on,Copy !req
50. you're just Becky... You know,
it's like Madonna once said,Copy !req
51. "I'm tough, I'm ambitious,
and I know what I want.Copy !req
52. If that makes me a bitch, okay."Copy !req
53. I'm pretty sure she stole that line
from one Sue Sylvester.Copy !req
54. No, really, she stole it from me.Copy !req
55. I said it first. Palladium. '87.Copy !req
56. - Can I ask you guys something private?
- Yes, you should move to Israel.Copy !req
57. It's about dating.
Not that I'm dating anyone.Copy !req
58. We all know that Finn and
I are no longer an item,Copy !req
59. and for the sake of the team,
I broke up with Jessie.Copy !req
60. But let's just say I
was dating someone.Copy !req
61. Let's just say, hypothetically,
we went to a Wiggles concertCopy !req
62. last Friday night,
and then because my dadsCopy !req
63. weren't home, we went up to my roomCopy !req
64. and started making out.
It was erotic and romantic.Copy !req
65. And then he said...
We should do it.Copy !req
66. - "It"? Totally.
- Haven't you done it before?Copy !req
67. - No. - Have you?Copy !req
68. - What do you think?
- It's no big deal.Copy !req
69. For a girl, it is.Copy !req
70. What if then he got really
crabby and left, and didn't evenCopy !req
71. take home the Care Bear I
won him playing Skee Ball?Copy !req
72. Would you please stop talking?
You're grossing out my baby.Copy !req
73. I just want to be ready...
I know I'm getting older,Copy !req
74. and these things are going
to happen someday, butCopy !req
75. how do I stop a guy from getting
mad at me for saying "no"?Copy !req
76. Just do what I do.
Never say "no."Copy !req
77. Oh, totally. I mean,
what's the worst that can happen?Copy !req
78. - Sorry, Quinn.
- Look, girl, don't ask me.Copy !req
79. The last guy I liked was
the mayor of gaytown.Copy !req
80. And I can't wait to get a guyCopy !req
81. - ... Mad at me for saying "no."
- We just have to acceptCopy !req
82. that guys don't care
about our feelings.Copy !req
83. Like, the other day,
I was walking with Artie...Copy !req
84. I've thought a lot about it,
and I forgive youCopy !req
85. for lying about your stutter.Copy !req
86. However, if you're planning
on getting all up on this,Copy !req
87. I'm going to need you
to make some changes.Copy !req
88. The goth thing was two years ago,
so maybe loseCopy !req
89. the vampire makeup and consider
some tighter-fitting clothing.Copy !req
90. You've got the pow, and I
believe you should work it moreCopy !req
91. if we're going to be an item.
That's got to sting.Copy !req
92. Hey, guys. I'm sorry
to interrupt your little sorority,Copy !req
93. but I couldn't help but overhearing.Copy !req
94. Are you really having
that much boy trouble?Copy !req
95. You wouldn't understand,
Mr. Shue. You're a guy.Copy !req
96. Well, then maybe you should
talk to someone else about it.Copy !req
97. - Like Ms. Pillsbury.
- I tried that.Copy !req
98. Oh, um, that's a
hot-button topic, isn't it?Copy !req
99. I mean, when to do that.Copy !req
100. This is the perfect chat
to have with your mom.Copy !req
101. - I have two gay dads.
- Right, right... you...Copy !req
102. How about your rabbi?Copy !req
103. I really don't feel
comfortable talking about thisCopy !req
104. with Rabbi Greenberg.
Aren't you a guidance counselor?Copy !req
105. The fact is is that women
still earn 70 cents,Copy !req
106. to every dollar that a man
does for doing the same job.Copy !req
107. That attitude starts
in high school.Copy !req
108. I don't know what to say. I mean,Copy !req
109. I can't do this job if I don't
have the kids' confidence.Copy !req
110. Now, I get that this
area of interest is, uh,Copy !req
111. your blind spot, but I want to
help you so that the next timeCopy !req
112. a girl comes in here asking thoseCopy !req
113. kinds of questions, you'll be prepared.
I'm not saying you need to have sex.Copy !req
114. No! No, no, no. No,
that's not what you were offering.Copy !req
115. - Just...
- Why would you offer that?Copy !req
116. - It wasn't what I was thinking.
- Wishful thinking is all that was.Copy !req
117. I mean, what this is
all really about isCopy !req
118. teenage girls feeling
like they have no power.Copy !req
119. Right, and it makes sense, too.
I mean, look at theirCopy !req
120. role models, you know? You've got
Britney Spears and her shaved head.Copy !req
121. Lindsay Lohan looks like something
out of Lord of the Rings.Copy !req
122. Ann Coulter.Copy !req
123. Let's work together
to try to find a wayCopy !req
124. to make them feel more
confident about themselves.Copy !req
125. Yeah, I like that.Copy !req
126. Yes, we will change the
world one girl at a time.Copy !req
127. We'll be like a girl-saving team.Copy !req
128. And maybe along the way,
we can findCopy !req
129. a way to help you, too.Copy !req
130. "Zephyr in the sky
"at night I wonderCopy !req
131. "do my tears of mourning
"sink beneath the sun?Copy !req
132. "She's got herself a
universe gone quicklyCopy !req
133. "for the call of thunderCopy !req
134. "threatens everyone...Copy !req
135. "And I feel like I just got home,
and I feelCopy !req
136. "And I feel like I just got homeCopy !req
137. "and I feel...Copy !req
138. Sloppy freak show babies!Copy !req
139. Somewhere in the
English countryside,Copy !req
140. in a stately manor home,
Madonna is weeping!Copy !req
141. Hit the showers!Copy !req
142. Oh, hey, William.Copy !req
143. I thought I smelled cookies waftingCopy !req
144. from the ovens of the little
elves who live in your hair.Copy !req
145. - Wow, Sue. I'm really impressed.
- Yeah, well, Madonna is legend.Copy !req
146. And I want my girls to learn
all the lessons she has to offer:Copy !req
147. Strength, independence...Copy !req
148. Nobody quite like the Material Girl
to empower my Cheerios.Copy !req
149. Just like your hairdresser
has empowered youCopy !req
150. to look absolutely ridiculous.Copy !req
151. - I'll see you later, Sue.
- You think this is hard?Copy !req
152. I'm passing a gallstone
as we speak! That's hard!Copy !req
153. What comes to mind
when you see that name?Copy !req
154. - Genius. Icon.
- Hall of Fame MILF.Copy !req
155. So, we're all aware of Madonna's
musical and cultural significance,Copy !req
156. which is why this week,
your assignmentCopy !req
157. is to come up with
a Madonna number.Copy !req
158. - Yes! Yes!
- Uh, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
159. As a dude, Madonna makes
me kind of uncomfortable.Copy !req
160. Yeah, she's smokin' and everything,Copy !req
161. but can't some of us
do something else?Copy !req
162. Like the guy version of Madonna?
Like, you know, Pantera?Copy !req
163. Guys! You know,
it's come to my attentionCopy !req
164. that many of you
haven't been treatingCopy !req
165. the young ladies of our
group very nicely lately.Copy !req
166. You're disrespectful, bullying,Copy !req
167. sexist, and I hate to say it,
misogynistic.Copy !req
168. I have no idea what that means.Copy !req
169. When I pulled my hamstring,
I went to a misogynist.Copy !req
170. What it means is, put yourself
in their shoes for a change.Copy !req
171. Culturally, Madonna's
legacy transcends her music,Copy !req
172. because by and large,
the subtext of her songs are aboutCopy !req
173. being strong, independentCopy !req
174. and-and confident,
no matter what your sex.Copy !req
175. But more than anything,
Madonna's musical messageCopy !req
176. is about equality.Copy !req
177. And that is something I think
you guys need to work on.Copy !req
178. Mr. Shue, I don't think we can
have an honest conversationCopy !req
179. about Ms. Ciccone
without acknowledgingCopy !req
180. that her images are as
indelible as her songs.Copy !req
181. I would like to honor her
contributions by tacklingCopy !req
182. a multi-media projectCopy !req
183. - with Mercedes.
- Great.Copy !req
184. - Go for it, Kurt.
- I'm still not down.Copy !req
185. And no chick intimidates Puckzilla.Copy !req
186. I just don't think her music
translates to show choir.Copy !req
187. Really? Well I, for one,
couldn't disagree more.Copy !req
188. "Express Yourself,"go.Copy !req
189. "Do you believe in love?Copy !req
190. "'Cause I got something
to say about it,Copy !req
191. "and it goes something like this.Copy !req
192. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
193. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
194. "You know, you know,
you've got toCopy !req
195. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
196. "and maybe then you
know your love is real.Copy !req
197. "You don't need diamond ringsCopy !req
198. "or 18-karat gold,Copy !req
199. "fancy cars that go very fast,
you know,Copy !req
200. "they never last, no, no.Copy !req
201. "What you need is a big,
strong handCopy !req
202. "to lift you to
your higher ground.Copy !req
203. "Make you feel like
a queen on a throneCopy !req
204. "make him love you till
you can't come down.Copy !req
205. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
206. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
207. "You know, you know,
you've got toCopy !req
208. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
209. "and maybe then you'll
know your love is real.Copy !req
210. "And when you're gone,
he might regret it.Copy !req
211. "Think about the
love you once had,Copy !req
212. "Try to carry on,Copy !req
213. "But he just won't get it.Copy !req
214. "Hey... "He'll be back
on his knees, so pleaseCopy !req
215. "Don't go for second best, baby,Copy !req
216. "put your love to the test.Copy !req
217. "You know,
you know you've got toCopy !req
218. "make him express how he feelsCopy !req
219. "and maybe then you'll
know your love is real.Copy !req
220. "Let him know your love is real.Copy !req
221. "You've got to make
him express himself.Copy !req
222. "Hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
223. "Put your love to the test.,
"So if you want it right now,Copy !req
224. "make him show you how.
"Make him show how he feels.Copy !req
225. "Express what he's got.Copy !req
226. "Oh, baby, ready or not.Copy !req
227. "Express yourself.Copy !req
228. That's what I'm talking about.
All right.Copy !req
229. - I look smokin' hot.
- Guess who I'm dating.Copy !req
230. - Who? - Wes Brody.
He's super cute.Copy !req
231. He plays soccer with my sister.Copy !req
232. - He's seven. - Oh! Crap.Copy !req
233. I need a younger, inferior man.
If I don't find one,Copy !req
234. Coach Sylvester will kick me
off the Cheerios, for sure.Copy !req
235. Hello? Finn!Copy !req
236. His birthday's like
three days before yours,Copy !req
237. and he's super dumb.Copy !req
238. We already tried with Finn,
and he hates us.Copy !req
239. Trust me, the way to get a
man to follow you forever...Copy !req
240. take his virginity.Copy !req
241. Madonna, like,
wrote a song about it.Copy !req
242. "You're not convinced that
that is enough...Copy !req
243. Hey, Finnocence.Copy !req
244. You know, I've been thinking,
and I think we should go out.Copy !req
245. Just you and me this time,
no third wheel.Copy !req
246. - Will you talk to me this time?
- I don't really talk during.Copy !req
247. Look, Finn, It's high
time you lost the big V.Copy !req
248. Everything about
you screams virgin.Copy !req
249. You're about as sexy
as a Cabbage Patch Kid.Copy !req
250. - It's exhausting to look at you.
- Well, look, I appreciate the offer,Copy !req
251. but I have feelings
for someone else,Copy !req
252. and I'm trying to work
things out with them. So...Copy !req
253. Who, Rachel?Copy !req
254. She's dating that Jessie
kid from Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
255. No, she's not.
Please, you can smell it on her.Copy !req
256. She's like a cat in heat.Copy !req
257. She talked about him
yesterday and practicallyCopy !req
258. - Sprayed the choir room.
- So come on, let's do the deed.Copy !req
259. It'll be great for my image,Copy !req
260. and Sue will promote
me to head cheerleader.Copy !req
261. It's win-win.Copy !req
262. Wait, what...
what do I get out of it?Copy !req
263. I don't know.Copy !req
264. You get to have sex and
make Rachel jealous.Copy !req
265. - I meant for me, okay?
- It's win-win for me.Copy !req
266. - You wanted to see me? - Sue!Copy !req
267. Um... Yeah. Thank you for coming.
Please sit down.Copy !req
268. No. Okay.
Um, I was just wonderingCopy !req
269. why Madonna's playing
everywhere except my office.Copy !req
270. Well, it's simple, Arlene.Copy !req
271. You don't deserve the
power of Madonna.Copy !req
272. You have none of her
self-confidence,Copy !req
273. her power over her body
or her sexual magnetism.Copy !req
274. Simply put, you have
all the sensualityCopy !req
275. of one of those
pandas down at the zooCopy !req
276. who refuse to mate.Copy !req
277. I had your, uh,
intercom disconnected.Copy !req
278. There you go.Copy !req
279. Finn, I was just
coming to find you.Copy !req
280. Look, I know that the boys
were a little uncomfortableCopy !req
281. about this Madonna assignment,Copy !req
282. so I figured you and
I as co-captainsCopy !req
283. could do a little mash-up
of a bunch of her songsCopy !req
284. just to show everyone
how cool it can be.Copy !req
285. Yeah, sure, whatever.Copy !req
286. Look, are you still
dating that Jessie kid?Copy !req
287. - No, no. - Who told you that?Copy !req
288. Look, I know things have
been weird between us,Copy !req
289. but I never thought
you'd lie to me.Copy !req
290. Look, please just
don't tell anyone.Copy !req
291. Unbelievable.Copy !req
292. We may not be together
the way that Jessie and I are,Copy !req
293. but we can still be friends.Copy !req
294. I-I'm asking you
as my friend to trust me.Copy !req
295. Fine... but if this leads to
something bad for all of us,Copy !req
296. don't expect any more
friendship from me.Copy !req
297. - Noted.
- All right, let's rehearse, then.Copy !req
298. "Something in the way you
love me won't let me be.Copy !req
299. "I don't wanna be your prisonerCopy !req
300. "so baby, won't you set me free?Copy !req
301. "Stop playing with my heart,Copy !req
302. "finish what you start,Copy !req
303. "when you make my
love come down.Copy !req
304. "If you want me, let me know.Copy !req
305. "Baby, let it show.Copy !req
306. "Honey, don't you fool around.Copy !req
307. "Don't try to resist me,Copy !req
308. "open your heart to me, baby.Copy !req
309. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
310. "Open your heart to me, darling.Copy !req
311. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
312. "Something in your eyes is
making such a fool of me.Copy !req
313. "You're making me,
you're making such a fool of me.Copy !req
314. "I see you on the street
and you walk on by.Copy !req
315. "You're on the street,
I see you when you're walking by.Copy !req
316. "When you hold me in your armsCopy !req
317. "you love me till
I just can't see.Copy !req
318. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
319. "So you choose to
look the other way.Copy !req
320. "Well, I've got
something to say.Copy !req
321. "Open your heart to me, baby.Copy !req
322. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
323. "Open your heart to me, darling.Copy !req
324. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
325. "Open your heart,
I'll make you love me.Copy !req
326. "I'll hold the lock
and you hold the key.Copy !req
327. "Open your heart to me, darlingCopy !req
328. "I'll give you love if you,
you turn the key.Copy !req
329. "Open your heart with the key.Copy !req
330. - That was good. - Totally.Copy !req
331. - Hey guys, how's the assignment
coming along? - Oh, amazing.Copy !req
332. You know how Madonna kind of
reinvented the video, right?Copy !req
333. Well, we got Artie and
the A/V Club to help out.Copy !req
334. We're gonna make a
Madonna video of our own.Copy !req
335. It's going to be "Madge-ical."Copy !req
336. Madge... you know,
Madonna's nickname?Copy !req
337. Okay, you really got to
get up to speed here.Copy !req
338. Hey... Schuester!Copy !req
339. I heard a juicy little rumor
that your Up With People rejectsCopy !req
340. were doing some Madonna songs.
Is that true?Copy !req
341. Yeah, well, to be honest, Sue,Copy !req
342. I got inspired
watching your Cheerios.Copy !req
343. Well, I have been waiting
years to pay tribute to her,Copy !req
344. and you are not swooping
in at the last minuteCopy !req
345. to snatch her from my talons.Copy !req
346. Madonna belongs to me,
and I will not be copied.Copy !req
347. - It's in my contract.
I want you to listen very closely.Copy !req
348. You can have your
Barbras and your ChersCopy !req
349. and your Christinas...Copy !req
350. and wow, I just lost
my train of thought.Copy !req
351. You have so much
margarine in your hair.Copy !req
352. Okay, first of all,
my kids are doing Madonna.Copy !req
353. She's public domain, and there's
nothing you can do about it.Copy !req
354. Secondly, enough
with the hair jokes.Copy !req
355. Oh, by the way, how's the Florence
Henderson look working out for you?Copy !req
356. Oh... "And you should know I
suffer the same...Copy !req
357. Oh, maybe you should try a
new setting on your Flowbee.Copy !req
358. Oh, snap!Copy !req
359. "Love is a bird,
"she needs to fly.Copy !req
360. "Let all the hurt inside
of you die.Copy !req
361. "You're frozen
"when your heart's not open...Copy !req
362. Who else wants a
piece of this, huh?Copy !req
363. "Give yourself to me.Copy !req
364. Hey, uh, so, that offer of yours
to lose... the big V...Copy !req
365. I'm in.Copy !req
366. "If I could melt your heart...Copy !req
367. - Ms. Sylvester, we'd like a word.
- We saw how upset you got today.Copy !req
368. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
369. We saw your faceCopy !req
370. after Mr. Schuester
insulted your hair.Copy !req
371. Close the door. Sit down.Copy !req
372. You know, kids, I grew up
with a handi-capable sister.Copy !req
373. My parents were
famous Nazi hunters,Copy !req
374. - So they weren't around a lot.
- I had to bring her up on my own.Copy !req
375. I didn't have a lot
of time or moneyCopy !req
376. to keep up with all
the latest looks.Copy !req
377. But on my sixth birthday,
True Blue was released.Copy !req
378. An album that would later sell
over 30 million copies.Copy !req
379. My sister and I took it upon
ourselves to bleach my hairCopy !req
380. with whatever chemicals we
could find around the house.Copy !req
381. Ammonia, napalm.Copy !req
382. My hair was so damaged,
I've been forced to wear it shortCopy !req
383. ever since.Copy !req
384. It's been a daily, ongoing pain.
Wait, that would make you, like, 30.Copy !req
385. 29.Copy !req
386. And here's the truth:
I mercilessly pick onCopy !req
387. Will Schuester's lustrous,
wavy hairCopy !req
388. because I'm jealous.
There, I said it.Copy !req
389. - I think we can help.
- Mercedes is black. I'm gay.Copy !req
390. We make culture. Go on.Copy !req
391. We're working
on an exciting new projectCopy !req
392. and would like to use the Cheerios.Copy !req
393. And we can help you
find a new look.Copy !req
394. Interesting.Copy !req
395. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do...
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... "Copy !req
396. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do...Copy !req
397. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do!Copy !req
398. - Sondheim on Music.
- Jessie, is that you?Copy !req
399. I'm so glad you came.Copy !req
400. I picked the Stephen
Sondheim biography sectionCopy !req
401. for our clandestine meeting place,Copy !req
402. because only he would be able
to express my melancholia.Copy !req
403. I feel bad about what
happened at your house.Copy !req
404. Do you still have my Care Bear?Copy !req
405. - Yes. - Since we're
meeting in the shadows,Copy !req
406. there's something I wanted
to talk to you about.Copy !req
407. Me first.Copy !req
408. I was out of line the other night.
You deserve more than that.Copy !req
409. You deserve romance...
no, you deserve epic romance.Copy !req
410. I feel badly that I pressured
you into... you know,Copy !req
411. going all the way.
I'm willing to wait.Copy !req
412. You tell me when you're ready.Copy !req
413. And I'll make sure that
I'm fastidiously groomed.Copy !req
414. - What did you want to tell me?
- I'm ready.Copy !req
415. Hey, that catch was
amazing Tuesday.Copy !req
416. - Will! Hey. Hey, wait up.
- All right. How's it going?Copy !req
417. Good. Um... okay,
I've realized something,Copy !req
418. something really important.Copy !req
419. You know when we were talking
about Madonna the other dayCopy !req
420. and how her music was being blasted
like an intimidating cluster bombCopy !req
421. into everybody's
office except for mineCopy !req
422. because, apparently,
I lack a shred of sex appeal?Copy !req
423. Well, it struck me that the Big Mo
is always in control of everything.Copy !req
424. Her life is her own.
Okay.Copy !req
425. So I need to take control
of myself and my body,Copy !req
426. just like Madonna. Which is why...Copy !req
427. I'm planning on doing
the nasty with youCopy !req
428. tonight at your place.Copy !req
429. Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.Copy !req
430. - So, what do you think?
- Not that it matters.Copy !req
431. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
432. - Great. - Great.
- 7:30. - Cool.Copy !req
433. "Vogue,"take one. Sound speed...Copy !req
434. and action. And playback.Copy !req
435. Strike a pose.Copy !req
436. "Look around, everywhere
you turn is heartache,Copy !req
437. "it's everywhere that you go.
"Go, go, go, go...Copy !req
438. "You try everything
you can to escapeCopy !req
439. "the pain of life that you know.
"The life that you know...Copy !req
440. "When all else fails
and you long to beCopy !req
441. "something better
than you are today,Copy !req
442. "I know a place where
you can get away,Copy !req
443. "it's called a dance floor,
and here's what it's for.Copy !req
444. "So come on, vogue.Copy !req
445. "Let your body
move to the music.
"Move to the music.,
"Hey, hey, heyCopy !req
446. "Come on, vogue.Copy !req
447. "Let your body go with the flow.Copy !req
448. "Go with the flow
"You know you can do itCopy !req
449. "Beauty's where you find it,Copy !req
450. "not just where you
bump and grind it.Copy !req
451. "Soul is in the musical,Copy !req
452. "that's where I
feel so beautiful.Copy !req
453. "Magical.
"Life's a ball.Copy !req
454. "So get up on the dance floor.Copy !req
455. "Come on, vogue.
"Vogue.Copy !req
456. "Let your body
move to the music.Copy !req
457. "Move to the music.
"Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
458. "Come on, vogue.
"Vogue.Copy !req
459. "Let your body go with the flow.Copy !req
460. "Go with the flow.
"You know you can do it.Copy !req
461. "Vogue, vogue.
"Beauty's where you find it.Copy !req
462. "Move to the music.
"Vogue.Copy !req
463. "Vogue.
"Beauty's where you find it.Copy !req
464. "Go with the flow.
"Greta Garbo and MonroeCopy !req
465. "Dietrich and DiMaggio
"Marlon Brando, Jimmy DeanCopy !req
466. "on the cover of a magazine.
"Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean,Copy !req
467. "Picture of a beauty queen.
"Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire,Copy !req
468. "Sue Sylvester dance on air.
"They had style, they had grace.Copy !req
469. "Rita Hayworth gave good face.
"Lauren, Katherine, Lana, too.Copy !req
470. "Will Schuester, I hate you.
"Ladies with an attitude.Copy !req
471. "Strike a pose,
there's nothing to it.Copy !req
472. "Vogue, vogue.
"Vogue, vogue.Copy !req
473. "You've got to let your
body move to the music.Copy !req
474. "You've got to just...
"Vogue...Copy !req
475. - Are you ready?
- In a minute.Copy !req
476. "I made it through the wilderness.Copy !req
477. "Somehow I made it through.Copy !req
478. "I didn't know how lost I was
"until I found you.Copy !req
479. "I was beat, incomplete.Copy !req
480. "I'd been had.
"I was sad and blue.Copy !req
481. "But you made me feel,Copy !req
482. "yeah, you made me
feel shiny and new.Copy !req
483. "Like a virgin,Copy !req
484. "touched for the
very first time.Copy !req
485. "Like a virgin.Copy !req
486. "When your heart
beats next to mine.Copy !req
487. "Gonna give you
all my love, boy.Copy !req
488. "My fear is fading fast.Copy !req
489. "I'd been saving it all for you,
"'cause only love can last.Copy !req
490. "You're so fine
"and you're mine.Copy !req
491. "Make me strong,
"yeah, you make me bold.Copy !req
492. "Oh, your love thawed out,Copy !req
493. "yeah, your love thawed out
"what was getting cold.Copy !req
494. "Like a virgin.Copy !req
495. "You make me feel like a virgin.Copy !req
496. "Touched for the
very first time.Copy !req
497. "Oh, baby.Copy !req
498. "Like a vir-ir-irgin.Copy !req
499. "When your heart
beats next to mine.Copy !req
500. "Like a virgin.
"Oh-oh-oh, like a virgin.Copy !req
501. "Yeah, it feels so good inside.Copy !req
502. "When you hold me.Copy !req
503. "When you hold me.
When your heart beats.Copy !req
504. "When your heart beats.
"When you love me.Copy !req
505. "When you love me, baby.
"Oh-oh.Copy !req
506. "Whoa.Copy !req
507. "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah.
"Oh-oh... yeah.Copy !req
508. "Oh, like a virgin.Copy !req
509. - Rachel?
- I'm ready.Copy !req
510. I wonder which look
she's gonna rock.Copy !req
511. Doesn't matter.
They were all fantastic.Copy !req
512. - Oh, dear.
- Miss Sylvester.Copy !req
513. Oh, hey, there,
Whoopi, Don Knotts.Copy !req
514. - What happened?
- Well, I'll tell you what.Copy !req
515. All those costumes
and the hairstyles,Copy !req
516. I'm gonna leave constant
reinvention to Madonna.Copy !req
517. Know why?
Had a revelation.Copy !req
518. Here's a list of the kids
I want shipped off to New YorkCopy !req
519. with 35 bucks in their pocket.
Operation Madonna is now complete.Copy !req
520. - Sue, these are all Glee kids.
- Yep.Copy !req
521. Um... I'm sorry, Sue.Copy !req
522. I'm having trouble concentrating.
Your new look is...Copy !req
523. - Fantastic. Yeah, I agree.
- Unnecessary.Copy !req
524. Sue, you're a powerful woman.
You don't need to copy anyone else.Copy !req
525. You're an original,
just like Madonna.Copy !req
526. Don't lose that quality.Copy !req
527. Do you mean that,
or are you just saying thatCopy !req
528. because I poked a
couple of kids' eyes outCopy !req
529. before second period today?Copy !req
530. See, kids, Sue Sylvester realized
she didn't need to reinvent herself.Copy !req
531. She needs to reinvent everybody
else, starting with you two.Copy !req
532. - Hey. - Hi.Copy !req
533. So how'd your date with
Jessie go Friday night?Copy !req
534. It went wonderfully.Copy !req
535. Honestly, it wasn't
that big of a deal.Copy !req
536. I mean, you know, it-it was great.Copy !req
537. But when it was over, I just, uh,Copy !req
538. you know, didn't know whyCopy !req
539. I was so nervous
in the first place.Copy !req
540. Just come out so we can talk...
or sing about it.Copy !req
541. Look, Jessie,
I really like you, but...Copy !req
542. I can't do it.Copy !req
543. It wouldn't be right for...
the team.Copy !req
544. What does the team
have to do with this?Copy !req
545. If I give myself to youCopy !req
546. knowing that my teammates
wouldn't approve,Copy !req
547. it would be like I was
sleeping with the enemy.Copy !req
548. I'd be betraying them.Copy !req
549. And because I'm truly
not ready to do this,Copy !req
550. - I'd be betraying myself.
- I'm happy for you.Copy !req
551. And, uh, what about you?Copy !req
552. I heard that you had a date
with Santana on Friday night.Copy !req
553. Yeah. I-I couldn't
go through with it.Copy !req
554. Why?Copy !req
555. I guess I'm just waiting
for the right person.Copy !req
556. Do you think they have
room service in this place?Copy !req
557. - 'Cause I want a burger.
- I thought I'd feel different after.Copy !req
558. Yeah, well, I've noticed that
it takes about 20 or so timesCopy !req
559. before the feeling of
accomplishment really kicks in.Copy !req
560. There's no menu,Copy !req
561. so you're gonna have to
take me to a burger joint.Copy !req
562. - How do you feel?
- I don't feel anything...Copy !req
563. 'cause it didn't mean anything.Copy !req
564. Where have you been?
I've been calling you all weekend.Copy !req
565. I was kind of embarrassed.Copy !req
566. I really wanted to go
through with it, Will.Copy !req
567. You were so gracious
and gentle and...Copy !req
568. handsome, and it felt so good
to be close to you in that way.Copy !req
569. I just, I don't know why I
always freak out like that.Copy !req
570. Stop, stop-stop-stop.Copy !req
571. You don't need to sleep
with me to prove anything.Copy !req
572. You took ownership of
your body on FridayCopy !req
573. when you told yourself
you weren't ready...Copy !req
574. and then ran out of my
apartment with no shoes on.Copy !req
575. They're my favorites.
Did you bring them?Copy !req
576. I feel bad, Emma.Copy !req
577. I've been working so hard
trying to get the guysCopy !req
578. to start treating the
girls with more respect,Copy !req
579. and I haven't been
walking the walk.Copy !req
580. I never should have agreed to
have you come over that night.Copy !req
581. - I did kind of throw myself at you.
- That is the point.Copy !req
582. We're falling into a pattern here.
We need to instate an officialCopy !req
583. no-dating policy until
my divorce is final.Copy !req
584. Well, when will that be?Copy !req
585. I filed today.
So that's a start.Copy !req
586. But while we're waiting,
I want you to get some helpCopy !req
587. for your problems;
we need to take action here.Copy !req
588. They're not gonna go
away unless we do.Copy !req
589. Now, our health union
covers counseling.Copy !req
590. They'll come to the school,Copy !req
591. meet you in your office,
whatever you need.Copy !req
592. And... I polished them myself.Copy !req
593. Thank you.Copy !req
594. - Mr. Schuester? - Yes?Copy !req
595. I'm Jessie St. James.
Can I talk to you about something?Copy !req
596. What the hell? It seems like
now everybody's doing thingsCopy !req
597. just to hurt my feelings.Copy !req
598. I thought you all
would take this newsCopy !req
599. a little better. I'm a star.
You can learn from me.Copy !req
600. We were already fighting
for second leads.Copy !req
601. And now that you've shown up,Copy !req
602. I've lost all hope at
ever getting a solo.Copy !req
603. Yeah, that's right.
And y'all just trot me outCopy !req
604. at the end of every number so
I can wail on the last note.Copy !req
605. - How is that okay?
- He's a spy, Mr. Shue. I would know.Copy !req
606. Whoa, Whoa... guys.Copy !req
607. I saw all the paperwork,
I spoke with his parents...Copy !req
608. They winter in Bali.
It's a very expensive phone call.Copy !req
609. Jessie just moved
in with his uncle,Copy !req
610. which is in our school district.Copy !req
611. It's all above board, guys.
He goes to this school now.Copy !req
612. - But this isn't fair.
- Guys!Copy !req
613. Everyone who's ever auditioned
for this group has gotten in.Copy !req
614. That's how we do things here.Copy !req
615. Okay, to suddenly
change the rules now,Copy !req
616. - that would be unfair.
- Brittany.Copy !req
617. Mr. Shue, is he your son?Copy !req
618. I don't understand why
you're doing this.Copy !req
619. Because when you love something,
you got to go for it.Copy !req
620. You would never be
with me completelyCopy !req
621. if I were on the opposing team.Copy !req
622. And I care about you more than
winning another national title.Copy !req
623. So I left Vocal Adrenaline.
For you.Copy !req
624. All right, guys,
we have got a lot of work to do.Copy !req
625. Jessie, great to have you here.Copy !req
626. - Welcome aboard. Okay, from the top.
- Five, six, seven, eight!Copy !req
627. "Hey. "Unh, come on.Copy !req
628. "- Kurt Hummel, take it.
"- Come on, girl.Copy !req
629. "I've been waiting for
somebody to pick up my stroll.Copy !req
630. "Well, don't waste time,
give me the sign"Copy !req
631. "tell me how you want to roll.Copy !req
632. "I want somebody to
speed it up for meCopy !req
633. "then take it down slow.
"There's enough room for both.Copy !req
634. "Well, I can handle that,Copy !req
635. "You just got to show
me where it's at.Copy !req
636. "Are you ready to go?
Are you ready to go...?Copy !req
637. "If you want it,
"you already got it.Copy !req
638. "If you've thought it,
it better be what you want.Copy !req
639. "Time is waiting.Copy !req
640. "We only got four minutes
to save the world.Copy !req
641. "- No hesitating.
"- Yeah.Copy !req
642. "Grab a boy and grab a girl.
"Time is waiting.Copy !req
643. "We only got four minutes
to save the world.Copy !req
644. "No hesitating.Copy !req
645. "We only got four minutes,
four minutes.Copy !req
646. "Don't be afraid,
hey, Madonna, unh.Copy !req
647. "You got to get 'em up, hop.
"Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.Copy !req
648. "That's right, keep it up,
keep it up.Copy !req
649. "Don't be afraid,
hey, Madonna, unh.Copy !req
650. "You got to get 'em up, hop.Copy !req
651. "Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock.Copy !req
652. Sue, what the hell
is going on here?Copy !req
653. Oh, what's the matter, buddy?
Did you miss the show?Copy !req
654. You probably had to run
to the powder room.Copy !req
655. Let me fill you in.Copy !req
656. Future center square
Kurt Hummel thereCopy !req
657. and his brassy hag Mercedes
just tore that Madonna songCopy !req
658. - a new one.
- Wait, you two are Cheerios now?Copy !req
659. Yeah, I've decided to add vocalsCopy !req
660. to my already wildly
overproduced Cheerios numbers.Copy !req
661. It'll give us the
edge at Nationals.Copy !req
662. You guys could've at least
given me the heads-up.Copy !req
663. You mean, the same way
you gave us a heads-upCopy !req
664. before not giving us a
solo almost every week?Copy !req
665. Mr. Shue, Mercedes and ICopy !req
666. talked it over,
and we love being in Glee,Copy !req
667. but being in the
Cheerios will give usCopy !req
668. - more opportunities to shine.
- So we're doing both.Copy !req
669. Ah, chipper up, Tiger.Copy !req
670. You know, I was down
at the pharmacy today,Copy !req
671. and they're having a
monster sale on Dep.Copy !req
672. Dep is a hair gel.Copy !req
673. And once again, I am making fun of
your incredibly stupid hairdo.Copy !req
674. Girls can wear jeans and
cut their hair short,Copy !req
675. wear shirts and boots,
'cause it's okay to be a boy.Copy !req
676. But for a boy to look
like a girl is degrading,Copy !req
677. 'cause you think that
being a girl is degrading.Copy !req
678. But secretly you'd love to know
what it's like, wouldn't you?Copy !req
679. What it feels like for a girl.Copy !req
680. "Silky smooth
"lips as sweet as candy,Copy !req
681. "baby.Copy !req
682. "Strong inside,
but you don't know it.Copy !req
683. "Good little girls,
they never show it.Copy !req
684. "When you open up
your mouth to speakCopy !req
685. "could you be a little weak?Copy !req
686. "Do you know
"Do you knowCopy !req
687. "what it feels
like in this worldCopy !req
688. "for a girl?
"For a girl?Copy !req
689. "Oh.Copy !req
690. "For a girl...Copy !req
691. "In this world...Copy !req
692. "Do you knowCopy !req
693. "what it feels like
in this world?Copy !req
694. I am not down with this.
I like being a dude.Copy !req
695. That's because it's easy
to be a dude.Copy !req
696. Uh, Mr. Shue, I think we're
gonna need a new baritone,Copy !req
697. 'cause Finn would like
to become Finnessa.Copy !req
698. Wait, h-hold on, Puck.
Finn has a point.Copy !req
699. I mean, haven't you noticedCopy !req
700. how low morale has been
around here lately?Copy !req
701. I have.Copy !req
702. I think the way I was objectifying Tina
may have sent her over the edge.Copy !req
703. - Hey, girl.
- My eyes are up here!Copy !req
704. I am a person with feelings!
Get out of my grill!Copy !req
705. I am a powerful woman,Copy !req
706. and my growing feminism
will cut you in halfCopy !req
707. like a righteous blade of equality!Copy !req
708. We've been treating
the girls like crap...Copy !req
709. not caring about their feelings,
not listening, objectifying.Copy !req
710. That's the right word,
right, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
711. - That's right.
- Objectifying.Copy !req
712. As an honorary girl,
I have to agree.Copy !req
713. This team shouldn't work,
but it doesCopy !req
714. because we respect
each other's talent.Copy !req
715. And if we want to take it toCopy !req
716. the next level, we have to startCopy !req
717. respecting each other
as individuals.Copy !req
718. Really see each other.Copy !req
719. Why were you
singing with us, Mr. Shue?Copy !req
720. Because apparently...
I need to learn that lesson.Copy !req
721. Fine, but I'm not
singing this song.Copy !req
722. We don't have to.Copy !req
723. We just have to make it
right with the girls,Copy !req
724. show them we get how it feels.Copy !req
725. I would get down on
one knee if I could.Copy !req
726. Why would you propose to me?Copy !req
727. - You don't even like me.
- Stop.Copy !req
728. That's where you're wrong.
I was really rude to you.Copy !req
729. You're awesome.Copy !req
730. And you shouldn't change,
unless you want to.Copy !req
731. And if you want to get up on this,
just let me know.Copy !req
732. Yep. That's more like it.Copy !req
733. Hey.Copy !req
734. If you're gonna criticize
and mock me againCopy !req
735. - about Jessie, you can can it.
- I wanted to apologize.Copy !req
736. The only reason you were evenCopy !req
737. open to dating Jessie was
because I was such an ass.Copy !req
738. Mr. Tough Guy and all that.
I really liked you.Copy !req
739. And I could have had you,
but I blew it.Copy !req
740. - You really liked me?
- Okay, Finn. I know we haveCopy !req
741. a big showdown coming,
so let's just decide on the arena.Copy !req
742. Sing-off, the parking lot,
5:00... be there.Copy !req
743. - No.
- Welcome to New Directions.Copy !req
744. Frankly, I need you.
I'm tired ofCopy !req
745. carrying the male
vocals all by myself.Copy !req
746. I'll do my best to stay
away from your girl.Copy !req
747. I appreciate that.
She's a keeper.Copy !req
748. Walk with me to the auditorium.Copy !req
749. I put together a
new Madonna number;Copy !req
750. - I'll talk you through it on the way.
- Sweet.Copy !req
751. Like A Payer# MadonnaCopy !req
752. "Glee".Copy !req