1. So here's what's happened on Glee...Copy !req
2. If you live in a cave
or just got out of prison...Copy !req
3. Will took over the glee club...Copy !req
4. and at first it was terrible...Copy !req
5. We suck!Copy !req
6. but then they got kinda good.Copy !req
7. Quinn got pregnant and said
it was Finn's...Copy !req
8. but really it was Puck's...Copy !req
9. Done with you!Copy !req
10. And Will's wife Terri
said that she was pregnant...Copy !req
11. but she was just scared
that Will liked Emma..Copy !req
12. I just left my wife.Copy !req
13. and then they kissed.Copy !req
14. I want you to be happy.Copy !req
15. Rachel loves that she and...Copy !req
16. Finn are the Glee club new power couple...Copy !req
17. but he feels a little weird about it.Copy !req
18. And Sue tried to throw sectionals...Copy !req
19. but they won anyway,
which is pretty exciting.Copy !req
20. It's a travesty of international proportions.Copy !req
21. That's what you missed on...Copy !req
22. Glee!Copy !req
23. Hey babe, looking good.Copy !req
24. Feeling good, Mercedes.Copy !req
25. This is amazing.Copy !req
26. Ever since glee club
won sectionals,Copy !req
27. Everybody looks at us
differently.Copy !req
28. I want to be
with you, Rachel.Copy !req
29. We're glitterati.Copy !req
30. I feel like Lady Gaga.Copy !req
31. Get used to it, guys.
We're stars now.Copy !req
32. On par with all
the jocks and popular kids.Copy !req
33. Oh, it's the dawn of a new era
here at McKinley,Copy !req
34. And we are gonna
rule this school!Copy !req
35. Ooh-hoo, welcome to loser town.Copy !req
36. You.Copy !req
37. I don't understand.Copy !req
38. We won sectionals.Copy !req
39. I completely demonstrated
the validity of this program.Copy !req
40. Now you're
saying we haveCopy !req
41. I still have
a bottom line.Copy !req
42. Those spotlights
in the auditoriumCopy !req
43. Don't run on dreams.Copy !req
44. Our electricity consumption
is up two percent.Copy !req
45. Besides, it's cold out,Copy !req
46. Shue, and the CheeriosCopy !req
47. Can no longer practice
out of doors!Copy !req
48. They need the use of
the auditorium as well.Copy !req
49. But the Cheerios
don't even have a coach.Copy !req
50. Oh, yes, they do.Copy !req
51. Hey, buddy, you get a haircut?Copy !req
52. Looks awful.Copy !req
53. What are you doing here?Copy !req
54. I'm just dropping off
a mocha for my maharishi.Copy !req
55. I took the libertyCopy !req
56. Of making it
a double whip.Copy !req
57. Because after
our conciliatory dinner,Copy !req
58. I happen to know
that there is nothingCopy !req
59. You won't eat
whipped cream off of.Copy !req
60. Would have gotten
you one, Will,Copy !req
61. But, uh, I don't like you.Copy !req
62. Okay.Copy !req
63. Wait, what the hell
is going on here?Copy !req
64. You suspended herCopy !req
65. After she leaked
our set list at sectionals.Copy !req
66. Yes, and the point of suspension
is reinstatement.Copy !req
67. In some ways, I'm happy
football season's over.Copy !req
68. I did set the single-season
record for being sacked,Copy !req
69. But we only won one game.Copy !req
70. So, I'm hoping basketball
can be a fresh start.Copy !req
71. The fact is,
I'm kind of depressed.Copy !req
72. Hey, Finn.
Oh.Copy !req
73. I made us his and her
relationship calendars.Copy !req
74. That way, we always know
what the other is up to,Copy !req
75. So you can't say
you forgot we had plansCopy !req
76. When you miss
our dates anymore.Copy !req
77. Great, but I'm kind of
allergic to cats, so...Copy !req
78. I filled in all of our dates
for the next month.Copy !req
79. On the sixth,
we're going to see PhantomCopy !req
80. At the autistic
children's center.Copy !req
81. I know I saved glee club,Copy !req
82. And I guess chicks dig me,Copy !req
83. But I guess
if I'm being honest,Copy !req
84. It's more like
I'm not over her.Copy !req
85. I'm not breaking up with you.Copy !req
86. I'm just saying, please
stop super-sizing,Copy !req
87. 'cause... I don't
dig on fat chicks.Copy !req
88. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
89. And that's my fault?Copy !req
90. And Rachel—Copy !req
91. Now that we're sort of dating,
I have to workCopy !req
92. So much harder to pretend
to be listening to her.Copy !req
93. That sounds great.Copy !req
94. Sometimes I wish I could be
more like Coach Tanaka.Copy !req
95. He pulled a Jessica Simpson.Copy !req
96. You know, lost his fiancée,
gained 40 poundsCopy !req
97. And stopped showering.Copy !req
98. And everyone acts like
it's totally normal.Copy !req
99. That's my boyfriend!Copy !req
100. I'm off my game, and I don't
know how to get back on it.Copy !req
101. Captioning sponsored by
20th century foxCopy !req
102. And
Toyota. Moving forward.Copy !req
103. There.Copy !req
104. You no longer confuse me
with your she-male looks.Copy !req
105. I'm going to donate this to
the victims of Hurricane Katrina.Copy !req
106. They can use it to plug
the holes in their trailers.Copy !req
107. Sue.Copy !req
108. Please tell me how
you managed to pull offCopy !req
109. Getting reinstated.
Well, William,Copy !req
110. I realized back
in my condo in BocaCopy !req
111. That I had indeed
behaved poorly.Copy !req
112. Riddled with remorse,
I arranged a dinnerCopy !req
113. So Figgins and I could have a
little professional sit-down.Copy !req
114. Sue, there's no way I'm letting
you back into that school.Copy !req
115. Mind flagging down that waiter?Copy !req
116. We had a very frank
and healing discussion.Copy !req
117. And you know what, Will?Copy !req
118. It was like he was seeing me
and my moral integrityCopy !req
119. For the very first time.Copy !req
120. So here's what's going
to happen.Copy !req
121. As of right now,
I am reinstated.Copy !req
122. Or I will tell your wife
and the entire congregationCopy !req
123. Of the Cornerstone
Bible Way ChurchCopy !req
124. Of our sexual congress.Copy !req
125. It's your choice.Copy !req
126. Smile.Copy !req
127. Okay, look, Sue, if you're back,
let's bury the hatchet.Copy !req
128. I won't be burying
any hatchets, William,Copy !req
129. Unless I happen to get
a clear shot to your groin.Copy !req
130. You humiliated me.Copy !req
131. You did this to yourself, Sue.Copy !req
132. All I did was
enjoy watching it happen.Copy !req
133. Yeah, well, enjoy this, William.Copy !req
134. Now that I am back
and my position is secured,Copy !req
135. I will not stop
until you are fired,Copy !req
136. And your little glee club is
annihilated into oblivion.Copy !req
137. Bring it.Copy !req
138. Oh, I will bring it, William.Copy !req
139. You know what else
I'm gonna bring?Copy !req
140. I'm going to bring some Asian
cookery to rub your head with.Copy !req
141. 'cause right now you got
enough product in your hairCopy !req
142. To season a wok.Copy !req
143. Hello.Copy !req
144. Hello?
All (weakly):
Hello.Copy !req
145. What do you guys say
when you answer the phone?Copy !req
146. What up?Copy !req
147. Who this be?Copy !req
148. No, she's dead.
This is her son.Copy !req
149. O-kay...Copy !req
150. Alexander Graham Bell,
inventor of the telephone,Copy !req
151. Liked to say "Ahoy, ahoy"
when he answered the phone.Copy !req
152. It was Edison
who decided that "Hello"Copy !req
153. Was a more
appropriate greeting.Copy !req
154. Look, I am really proud of
what you guys did at sectionals,Copy !req
155. But as most of you
have realized by now,Copy !req
156. It hasn't made
a bit of differenceCopy !req
157. In your day-to-day at school.Copy !req
158. I have a slushee-stained
training bra to prove it.Copy !req
159. The fact is, we're
gonna have to be better,Copy !req
160. Even more spectacular,
at regionals.Copy !req
161. It's time for
some reinvention,Copy !req
162. Some new New Directions.Copy !req
163. We need a new...Copy !req
164. Hello.Copy !req
165. Here's your assignment
for the week.Copy !req
166. Come up with a fresh number,
but it has to have "Hello"Copy !req
167. In the song title,
all right?Copy !req
168. Hi.Copy !req
169. Hi.Copy !req
170. This is kind of
weird, isn't it?Copy !req
171. Yes.Copy !req
172. (laughs)
I mean, here we are.Copy !req
173. We've been in this exact
situation a hundred times.Copy !req
174. Only this time, I could justCopy !req
175. Lean over and kiss you
if I want to.Copy !req
176. And I want to.Copy !req
177. No, hold on. Hold on. Hold on.Copy !req
178. I'm sorry.
Um...Copy !req
179. I just need to clean up first,Copy !req
180. So I'll be right back.Copy !req
181. Just hold on.
No, no, no, no.Copy !req
182. Hey, Emma,Copy !req
183. I don't care.
We've kissed before.Copy !req
184. Yeah, but you caught me by
surprise sneak attack that time.Copy !req
185. It was like a...
A pearly white harbor.Copy !req
186. I'm sorry, this is a completely
unattractive quality.Copy !req
187. You are adorable.Copy !req
188. You're right, too.Copy !req
189. We need to clean up a little
before we charge forward.Copy !req
190. Get the monkeys off our backs.Copy !req
191. Let's do this right.Copy !req
192. We should go on a date.Copy !req
193. Okay.
Get to know each other
as these...Copy !req
194. New people,
not tied down by anyone.Copy !req
195. My place.Copy !req
196. I'll cook.Copy !req
197. I didn't know you could cook.Copy !req
198. There are so many things
you don't know about me.Copy !req
199. And I can't wait
to introduce them all to you.Copy !req
200. I'll see you later.Copy !req
201. You two should be wetting
yourselves with shame.Copy !req
202. Glee club won sectionals,
and you did nothing to stop it.Copy !req
203. If you were samurai,Copy !req
204. And my letter opener
were sharp enough,Copy !req
205. I would ask you both right nowCopy !req
206. To commit seppuku.Copy !req
207. In Japanese, this means
ritual belly-slitting.Copy !req
208. We were seduced by the glitz
and glamour of show biz.Copy !req
209. Let me drop
some knowledge on you.Copy !req
210. Ever since Quinn Fabray
got knocked up,Copy !req
211. I've been in the market
for a new head cheerleader.Copy !req
212. If you want the job
and back in my good graces,Copy !req
213. You're gonna have
to turn aroundCopy !req
214. And listen up.Copy !req
215. You're familiar with a little
glee clubber named Rachel Berry?Copy !req
216. Rachel's the
kind of girlCopy !req
217. Who wants things too badly.Copy !req
218. And what she really wants
is one Finn Hudson.Copy !req
219. I want you to
go after him.Copy !req
220. She'll go crazy.Copy !req
221. She won't be able
to stand your dating him.Copy !req
222. Humiliated, shamed,Copy !req
223. She'll have no choice
but to leave the group.Copy !req
224. And without her,Copy !req
225. Schuester won't make it
to regionals.Copy !req
226. I know it's been hard on youCopy !req
227. Since the baby drama.Copy !req
228. Trust me, I get it,
and it sucks.Copy !req
229. You seem to be
handling it fine.Copy !req
230. Well, it's because
I realized thatCopy !req
231. I had to find this new
person inside of me,Copy !req
232. The one that was okay
with what happened.Copy !req
233. I just feel so bad
about myself.Copy !req
234. Finn, that guy who made
all those bad choices,Copy !req
235. Who ignored the signs,
he's gone.Copy !req
236. This new, more experienced,
more interesting guy is here.Copy !req
237. And I brought you here
to introduce you to him.Copy !req
238. Help you move forward.Copy !req
239. Oh, you mean like,
meeting other girls?Copy !req
240. Because I think
I'm dating Rachel.Copy !req
241. At least she sure
thinks I am.Copy !req
242. No, it's not about
meeting someone else.Copy !req
243. It's about being okay
just being you.Copy !req
244. Come on, you're
a rock star, Finn.Copy !req
245. You're like
Jagger, Morrison.Copy !req
246. Yeah, yeah, I like that.Copy !req
247. Good. I want you to meetCopy !req
248. The new and improved
Finn HudsonCopy !req
249. By singing about it.Copy !req
250. Oh, that's why
the band's here.Copy !req
251. Yeah. Pick a song, and
they're ready to back you up.Copy !req
252. Well, I like what you said
about me being like Morrison.Copy !req
253. And The Doors
have a "Hello" song.Copy !req
254. So maybe I could find myselfCopy !req
255. And do my glee assignment
at the same time.Copy !req
256. All right, man,
go to work.Copy !req
257. And that, fellow glee clubbers,
is how we say hello.Copy !req
258. Mr. Schuester,Copy !req
259. I'd like to run some of
my "Hello" ideas by you.Copy !req
260. You're a really good dancer.Copy !req
261. Thanks, but my feet
weren't really moving.Copy !req
262. That was the best part.Copy !req
263. Oh.Copy !req
264. Brit and I were wondering
if you wanted to go out.Copy !req
265. On a... Date?Copy !req
266. With which one of you?Copy !req
267. - With both of us.
- With both of us.Copy !req
268. Breadstix, 8:00.Copy !req
269. Table for three?Copy !req
270. Cool.Copy !req
271. What did they want?Copy !req
272. Oh, nothing.Copy !req
273. Just the time.Copy !req
274. I know being my boyfriend
is a challenge.Copy !req
275. I'm not Quinn.Copy !req
276. I don't look like her.Copy !req
277. I'm not popular,
and my personality,Copy !req
278. Though exciting and
full of surprises,Copy !req
279. Isn't exactly
low-maintenance, but...Copy !req
280. I'll always be honest with you.Copy !req
281. Painfully so.Copy !req
282. And all I ask in returnCopy !req
283. Is that you're just honest
with me.Copy !req
284. I don't think I want
to be your boyfriend.Copy !req
285. What?Copy !req
286. Look, Rachel,
you're really awesome,Copy !req
287. But I think I need to connect
with my inner rock starCopy !req
288. Before I can fully commit
to one woman.Copy !req
289. I need to find out who I am now.Copy !req
290. I'll tell you who you are.Copy !req
291. You're a scared little boy.Copy !req
292. You're afraid of dating meCopy !req
293. Because you think it might
hurt your reputation—Copy !req
294. Though, which you'd
never admit it,Copy !req
295. Is very important to you.Copy !req
296. You hate what Quinn did to you,Copy !req
297. Not just because it hurt,Copy !req
298. But because it was
so humiliating.Copy !req
299. You're freaking me out.Copy !req
300. It's like you're inside
my head right now.Copy !req
301. I just see you for who you are.Copy !req
302. Unlike you, who can only see me
as this silly girlCopy !req
303. Who made a fool out of herselfCopy !req
304. In her first glee club
rehearsal.Copy !req
305. And that's where you lose, Finn.Copy !req
306. Because, if you take
a second look at me,Copy !req
307. You'd realize that I'm
the only person in your lifeCopy !req
308. Who knows you and accepts you
for who you are, no matter what.Copy !req
309. Well, obviously,
Hawaiian pizza's the bestCopy !req
310. Because it's got ham and
pineapple on it, right?Copy !req
311. True.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
312. So, it's better than most
pizzas because it has...Copy !req
313. All right, guys,
you got to get movingCopy !req
314. On those "Hello" numbers.Copy !req
315. Who has got something
to show us?Copy !req
316. Volunteers?Copy !req
317. Mr. Schuester,
I think I found a songCopy !req
318. That sums up my feelings
perfectly.Copy !req
319. Fantastic, Rachel.Copy !req
320. Show us what you got.Copy !req
321. Guys, guys, guys.Copy !req
322. I don't want to
be a buzz-kill,Copy !req
323. But the assignment was "Hello."Copy !req
324. I'm sorry. I was just focusing
on the first syllable.Copy !req
325. You know what?Copy !req
326. I don't think
you guys understandCopy !req
327. The seriousness
of what we're up against.Copy !req
328. While we were busy
winning our sectional,Copy !req
329. Vocal Adrenaline
was busy winning theirs.Copy !req
330. They're last year's
national champions.Copy !req
331. They haven't lost a
competition in three years.Copy !req
332. This is the big leagues, guys.Copy !req
333. If we don't place at regionals,
glee club is over.Copy !req
334. Lionel Richie, huh?Copy !req
335. One of my favorites.Copy !req
336. Oh, my god,
you're Jessie St. James.Copy !req
337. You're in Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
338. And you're Rachel Berry.Copy !req
339. I saw you perform
at sectionals.Copy !req
340. Your rendition of "Don't Rain
on My Parade" was flawed.Copy !req
341. You totally lacked
Barbra's emotional depth.Copy !req
342. But you're talented.Copy !req
343. This is one of my
favorite haunts.Copy !req
344. I like to come and flip through
the celebrity biographies.Copy !req
345. Pick up some lifestyle tips.Copy !req
346. I'm a senior now, so this
year's kind of my victory lap.Copy !req
347. Snagging a fourth consecutive
national championshipCopy !req
348. Would just be gravy.Copy !req
349. I'm getting out
of Ohio soon.Copy !req
350. I've got a full ride
to a little schoolCopy !req
351. Called the University
of California Los Angeles.Copy !req
352. Maybe you've heard of it.Copy !req
353. It's in Los Angeles.Copy !req
354. What do you say we take it
for a spin?Copy !req
355. Here?Copy !req
356. Oh, no, I-I-I'm kind of nervous.Copy !req
357. I remember
when I used to get nervous.Copy !req
358. Come on. I do this
all the time.Copy !req
359. I like to give impromptu
concerts for the homeless.Copy !req
360. It's so important to give back.Copy !req
361. We should do this
more often.Copy !req
362. How's Friday night?Copy !req
363. Excuse me.Copy !req
364. We'd like to send these back.Copy !req
365. But you ate all of it.Copy !req
366. Look, I'm pretty sure
you have to do what we say.Copy !req
367. And this foodCopy !req
368. Was not satisfactory.Copy !req
369. There was a
mouse in mine.Copy !req
370. So, we'd like more, please.Copy !req
371. All right, hottest guys
in the school.Copy !req
372. Go.Copy !req
373. Okay, um, Puck's
super-fine.Copy !req
374. Mm-hmm.
Finn's cute, too.Copy !req
375. Yeah, but he's
not hot, though.Copy !req
376. He really isn't.Copy !req
377. And you know what, Brit?Copy !req
378. I think that dwarf
girlfriend of hisCopy !req
379. Is dragging down
his rep.Copy !req
380. I mean,
if he were dating,Copy !req
381. Say, popular pretty girls
like us,Copy !req
382. He would go
from dumpy to smokin'.Copy !req
383. Hello?Copy !req
384. Hey, I'm right here.Copy !req
385. Would you guys mind,Copy !req
386. Like, including me
in your conversations?Copy !req
387. I'll just give you
an introductionCopy !req
388. Into the way
that we work.Copy !req
389. You buy us dinner and
we make out in front of you.Copy !req
390. It's like
the best deal ever.Copy !req
391. Did you see what Rachel
was wearing today?Copy !req
392. I know.Copy !req
393. She looked
like Pippi Longstocking,Copy !req
394. But, like, Israeli.Copy !req
395. Those sweaters make her
look homeschooled.Copy !req
396. Hey, guys, come on.
Don't make fun of Rachel.Copy !req
397. She's... She's kind of cool.Copy !req
398. Finn, that's mean.Copy !req
399. You know what, actually?
Would you mindCopy !req
400. Waiting in the car?Copy !req
401. And leave
your credit card.Copy !req
402. Did you know that dolphins
are just gay sharks?Copy !req
403. Yeah.Copy !req
404. This is the perfect
song for us.Copy !req
405. See, he's known this girl
for so long,Copy !req
406. But they've just
been friends,Copy !req
407. And now he's calling her up
to tell her he wants more.Copy !req
408. I was sort of inspiredCopy !req
409. By my "Hello" assignment
with the kids.Copy !req
410. Well, I love it.Copy !req
411. Yeah?
I love it.Copy !req
412. You do?
(both laughing)Copy !req
413. Oh...Copy !req
414. I don't know why, but...Copy !req
415. I always had a soft spot
for this song.Copy !req
416. Too much too fast.
Too much too fast.Copy !req
417. You smell great,
your teeth are clean...Copy !req
418. You're very sweet.
It's not that. I'm...Copy !req
419. I just haven't been,
uh... IntimateCopy !req
420. In a very, very long time.Copy !req
421. How long?Copy !req
422. Ever.Copy !req
423. I just haven't found
the right person.Copy !req
424. You know, someone
who won't reject meCopy !req
425. When things get really hard
with my, um, with my problems.Copy !req
426. It-it's cool.Copy !req
427. It's not.Copy !req
428. It's not cool.
I can tell.Copy !req
429. No, no, no.Copy !req
430. Emma...Copy !req
431. I understand.Copy !req
432. I'll pop in a movie.Copy !req
433. Do we have to watch
Armageddon again?Copy !req
434. Uh, it's that or Bad Boys.Copy !req
435. They're the only DVDs
that Terri left behind.Copy !req
436. She liked to have Bruckheimer
night every other week.Copy !req
437. Okay, okay.Copy !req
438. Hey, Rach, can we talk?Copy !req
439. Look, I want
to apologize.Copy !req
440. I realized I don't want
to date other girls.Copy !req
441. Only you.Copy !req
442. You do talk too much,Copy !req
443. And usually you're just
talking about yourself,Copy !req
444. But at least I don't feel
alone when I'm with you.Copy !req
445. I'm glad you've come
to that realization,Copy !req
446. But you're too late.Copy !req
447. I've met someone else—Copy !req
448. A boy who's finally worthy
of my talent and love.Copy !req
449. Whoa, whoa, wait.Copy !req
450. Do I know him?Copy !req
451. Is he, is he bigger than me?Copy !req
452. Oh, he doesn't go to this
school, and he's a senior.Copy !req
453. His name is Jessie, and he's
the male lead in Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
454. We're both aware that our
Romeo-and-Juliet romanceCopy !req
455. Will be a challenge,
but our deep respectCopy !req
456. For each other's talent
will carry us through.Copy !req
457. Rachel, don't you think
that's kind of suspicious?Copy !req
458. We make it to regionals
and suddenlyCopy !req
459. The top guy in our main
competition picks you up?Copy !req
460. I know it's hard to believe
that anyone would like meCopy !req
461. Without an ulterior motive,
but you have to respectCopy !req
462. That our love is real.Copy !req
463. Move on, Finn.Copy !req
464. I finally have.Copy !req
465. Mr. Shue... We have a problem.Copy !req
466. Finn didn't fall
for any of our tricks.Copy !req
467. Such as?
I didn't wear a bra,Copy !req
468. And I had them turn up
the air conditioning.Copy !req
469. Ladies, I misjudged you.Copy !req
470. You may be two of the stupidest
teens I've ever encountered.Copy !req
471. And that's saying something.Copy !req
472. I once taught a cheerleading
seminar to a young Sarah Palin.Copy !req
473. Wait, we did find outCopy !req
474. Rachel's with some dude
from Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
475. Name?Copy !req
476. Jessie St. James.Copy !req
477. Ooh, bringing down this club
may be easier than I thought.Copy !req
478. I'm engorged
with venom and triumph.Copy !req
479. Now get the hell
out of my office.Copy !req
480. Stop please.
Dear God, just stop.Copy !req
481. Seriously, guys,Copy !req
482. It's like watching
beige paint dry.Copy !req
483. Could everyone
please look at Jessie?Copy !req
484. Jessie, give us a show face.Copy !req
485. That's a show face, guys.Copy !req
486. You want to look
so talented,Copy !req
487. It's literally hurting you.Copy !req
488. I want a look
that's so optimistic,Copy !req
489. It could cure cancer.Copy !req
490. That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
491. Take five, everybody.
Drink a Red Bull.Copy !req
492. Excuse me,
Ms. Corcoran?Copy !req
493. Hi, I'm Will Schuester.Copy !req
494. Sorry, I don't know
who you are.Copy !req
495. I'm a big fan, really.Copy !req
496. I also coach
the McKinley glee club.Copy !req
497. I don't usually
cotton too wellCopy !req
498. To my competition sneaking in
to watch a rehearsal.Copy !req
499. But I also have trouble
seeing you guys as competition.Copy !req
500. I believe you have a student
named Jessie St. James?Copy !req
501. Yeah, I think he might be
dating one of my students.Copy !req
502. I'm more than a little concernedCopy !req
503. With the whole fraternizing
with the enemy aspectCopy !req
504. Of their relationship.Copy !req
505. You think we're
spying on you?Copy !req
506. Honestly?Copy !req
507. Yes.Copy !req
508. Noted.Copy !req
509. Look, I don't standCopy !req
510. For any funny business,
and Jessie's a good kid.Copy !req
511. I mean, what
can you do?Copy !req
512. The heart wants
what the heart wants.Copy !req
513. Sometimes there's
that little spark.Copy !req
514. I'm not interested
in coachingCopy !req
515. Just your average
high school glee club.Copy !req
516. I'm driven to excellence.Copy !req
517. Yeah, excellence.Copy !req
518. A lot of people thought
I couldn't take nationalsCopy !req
519. With a routine where the kids
dance entirely on their hands.Copy !req
520. Okay... I'm sorry.Copy !req
521. We have to stop.Copy !req
522. I...Copy !req
523. I just can't do this.Copy !req
524. Aw, I'm sorry.Copy !req
525. I'm all business;
I'm trying to work on that.Copy !req
526. No, it isn't that.Copy !req
527. Are you gay?Copy !req
528. What?Copy !req
529. No.Copy !req
530. Because most of the
show choir directorsCopy !req
531. I make out with are gay.Copy !req
532. I spend
every waking momentCopy !req
533. Thinking about Vocal Adrenaline.Copy !req
534. I have no life.Copy !req
535. I haven't been on a date
in three years.Copy !req
536. Here you go.Copy !req
537. Thanks.Copy !req
538. I did lie
to you earlier.Copy !req
539. I do know who you are.Copy !req
540. I saw you
at our fall invitational.Copy !req
541. I thought you were really cute.Copy !req
542. You know, I know what you mean—
about being obsessed with work.Copy !req
543. I'm so committed
to the glee club,Copy !req
544. And I think it played a big part
in ending my marriage.Copy !req
545. How long have you been divorced?Copy !req
546. Um... Well,
I'm not really divorced yet.Copy !req
547. And then I-I
started datingCopy !req
548. Someone I-I really care about,Copy !req
549. But it isn't working
for some reason.Copy !req
550. Oh, you're already seeing
someone elseCopy !req
551. And you were just
making out with me.Copy !req
552. I'm kind of a mess.Copy !req
553. Look, I don't want to tell you
how to live your life...Copy !req
554. Please, be my guest.Copy !req
555. I think you need
to take some timeCopy !req
556. To reintroduce yourself
to yourself.Copy !req
557. You just finished
being somebody's husband,Copy !req
558. And that didn't really work out.Copy !req
559. And now you're running off to beCopy !req
560. Somebody's
boyfriend?Copy !req
561. Seems to me you need
to take a little breather.Copy !req
562. Look,Copy !req
563. That hair, that dimple,Copy !req
564. That terrible clunker
you drive—Copy !req
565. I think you're about the
cutest thing I've ever seen.Copy !req
566. Here's my number.Copy !req
567. When you get things sorted out,
give me a call.Copy !req
568. Thank you
for the coffee.Copy !req
569. And the making out—
kind of hot.Copy !req
570. Hey, guys.Copy !req
571. Cut the butter,
Benedict Arnold.Copy !req
572. We heard
about your new boyfriend.Copy !req
573. Look, Rachel,Copy !req
574. We're all happy
that you're happy,Copy !req
575. But we've worked too hard
in glee clubCopy !req
576. To let you throw it all away
on a relationshipCopy !req
577. That might not
even be real.Copy !req
578. Why, 'cause he's
in Vocal Adrenaline?Copy !req
579. Their motto is
"aut neca aut necatus eris."Copy !req
580. Which loosely translates
to "murder or be murdered."Copy !req
581. They give their dancers
human growth hormone.Copy !req
582. Look, we're
not sayingCopy !req
583. The dude is playing you.
He's playing you.Copy !req
584. We just think that until
regionals are over,Copy !req
585. We can't risk the
possibility that he is.Copy !req
586. None of us want
to go throughCopy !req
587. What happened
at sectionals again.Copy !req
588. Okay, look, Jessie and I
might not be true love,Copy !req
589. But what if we are?Copy !req
590. I know who I am.Copy !req
591. And how many chances at this
am I going to get?Copy !req
592. If you don't break up
with him, you're out.Copy !req
593. You can't kick me out!Copy !req
594. But we can all quit
if Mr. Shue doesn't.Copy !req
595. Well, good luck winning
without me.Copy !req
596. Everyone is replaceable,
even you.Copy !req
597. How could you do this to me?Copy !req
598. How could you
do this to us?Copy !req
599. We're a team, andCopy !req
600. All you've ever wanted was
for us to be great,Copy !req
601. And be a part
of something special.Copy !req
602. Now is that still true or not?Copy !req
603. You wanted to see me,
Coach Sylvester?Copy !req
604. I did, Rachel.Copy !req
605. I want to introduce youCopy !req
606. To the McKinley High
Old Maids Club.Copy !req
607. Have a seat,Copy !req
608. Boy hips.Copy !req
609. I don't understand.Copy !req
610. Well, Rachel, it's
come to my attentionCopy !req
611. That you've been
given the old heave-hoCopy !req
612. By that Terribly
uncoordinated Finn Hudson.Copy !req
613. Ouch.
And I also understandCopy !req
614. You have a serious suitor
in the form a piping hotCopy !req
615. Hunkwad from
another district,Copy !req
616. But that your fellowCopy !req
617. Glee clubbers are so incensed
with betrayal,Copy !req
618. They barely have time
to apply Freeze-OffCopy !req
619. To the clusters of warts
between their knuckles.Copy !req
620. How did you know that?Copy !req
621. Brit and I told everybody
in glee clubCopy !req
622. About Jessie St. James.Copy !req
623. They're furious.Copy !req
624. If Rachel falls for him,
the club will self-destruct.Copy !req
625. Outstanding.
On to step two.Copy !req
626. Round up a bunch of
mustache-sporting teenage girlsCopy !req
627. With glandular conditions.Copy !req
628. Anything else?Copy !req
629. Sometimes
I forget my middle name.Copy !req
630. I know how torn
you must be, Berry.Copy !req
631. My freshman year,Copy !req
632. I fell for a boy on an
opposing wrestling squad,Copy !req
633. But my team
wouldn't go for it.Copy !req
634. So, the next time
I stepped onto the mat,Copy !req
635. I pinned him so hard,
it ruptured his scrotum,Copy !req
636. Ending his run forCopy !req
637. The state championshipCopy !req
638. And my run for his heart.Copy !req
639. To my team,Copy !req
640. I was a legend.Copy !req
641. But I relished this
victory in solitude.Copy !req
642. Now,Copy !req
643. I spend my Friday nightsCopy !req
644. Making out with my catCopy !req
645. And watching
Ghost Whisperer.Copy !req
646. Well, Rachel,Copy !req
647. If I weren't ignoringCopy !req
648. What these ladies were sayingCopy !req
649. Out of an overwhelming sense
of deep repulsion,Copy !req
650. I would probably hear them
encouraging youCopy !req
651. To go for it
with your Carmel High beau.Copy !req
652. Or you might end up likeCopy !req
653. Dottie here, who,
although her father offeredCopy !req
654. A sizeable dowry,
which included livestock,Copy !req
655. Still couldn't get a date
to homecoming.Copy !req
656. No homecoming?Copy !req
657. No valentines,
no sock hop.Copy !req
658. Rachel, you need
to become even more narcissisticCopy !req
659. And self-centered
than you already are.Copy !req
660. Think of yourself—
your potential happiness.Copy !req
661. If not,Copy !req
662. Join the club.Copy !req
663. Beautiful table.Copy !req
664. Meticulous, really.Copy !req
665. I guess being crazy
has its benefits.Copy !req
666. It's date night.Copy !req
667. Actually, it was tomorrow,Copy !req
668. But Will wanted tonight,
so, I'm surprising him.Copy !req
669. And I knowCopy !req
670. He keeps a key under the mat.Copy !req
671. You're really loving this,
aren't you?Copy !req
672. I take no pleasure
in your pain, Terri.Copy !req
673. But I am enjoyingCopy !req
674. Seeing will get a second chance
at happiness, yes.Copy !req
675. Oh, and you're the one
to introduce himCopy !req
676. To this magical new world
of bliss?Copy !req
677. What, you with your
three-times-a-day showersCopy !req
678. And the fact
that you can't sleepCopy !req
679. Unless your shoes are all
in a row?Copy !req
680. Is there a reason
that you're here?Copy !req
681. 'Cause I'd kind of like you
to be gone when Will gets home.Copy !req
682. I just need to pick up the rest
of my Bruckheimer DVDs.Copy !req
683. Whose is this?Copy !req
684. That's mine.Copy !req
685. I got really tired of watching
Con Air every night.Copy !req
686. And will picked "Hello"
as our song.Copy !req
687. Oh, you poor girl.Copy !req
688. Don't bother sleeping
with my husband tonight.Copy !req
689. You're already
screwed.Copy !req
690. "Hello" was our prom song.Copy !req
691. I mean, I doubt Will remembers.Copy !req
692. He goes to the market for milk,
comes home with a pack of gum.Copy !req
693. You're lying.Copy !req
694. Ask him.Copy !req
695. Or better yet,
go to the libraryCopy !req
696. And look it up for yourself
in that year's Thunderclap.Copy !req
697. Sorry.Copy !req
698. Jessie?Copy !req
699. Who's there?Copy !req
700. I carry a rape whistle.Copy !req
701. Just me.Copy !req
702. Most spots are 2,500 watts.Copy !req
703. This one is ten
times brighter.Copy !req
704. We have to wear sunscreen
onstage, but it's worth it.Copy !req
705. I guess everything is bigger
and brighter here.Copy !req
706. I have to ask you something.Copy !req
707. And I need you
to tell me the truth,Copy !req
708. Because if you don't,
there will be consequences—Copy !req
709. Life-and-death consequences.Copy !req
710. Because if I give myself to you,Copy !req
711. And it turns out
that you're just playing me,Copy !req
712. I might die.Copy !req
713. Okay, okay, not literally,
but emotionally.Copy !req
714. It'll be the kind of heartbreak
that girls like me holdCopy !req
715. For the rest of their lives,
like Barbra in The Way We Were.Copy !req
716. (laughing):
Oh, my God.Copy !req
717. What?Copy !req
718. You're more of a drama queen
than I am.Copy !req
719. Hi.Copy !req
720. I'm Jessie.Copy !req
721. I know who you are.Copy !req
722. You know Jessie St. James,Copy !req
723. The star of Vocal Adrenaline,
your competition at regionals.Copy !req
724. I want to introduce
you to Jessie,Copy !req
725. The guy who's
nuts about you,Copy !req
726. The guy who would
never hurt you.Copy !req
727. - No one can know.
- I understand.Copy !req
728. (bell ringing)
Hi.Copy !req
729. Hey.Copy !req
730. I get home
last night, andCopy !req
731. It was like some
ghost had laid outCopy !req
732. This beautiful,
romantic meal for me.Copy !req
733. A ghost who wears
your perfume.Copy !req
734. I was just in the library.Copy !req
735. Page 42.Copy !req
736. Okay.Copy !req
737. Oh, my... My junior prom.Copy !req
738. I wanted to surprise you
on Wednesday.Copy !req
739. Terri came by and, um,Copy !req
740. Told me about the prom...
About the song.Copy !req
741. Emma, I-I have no feelings
about this night anymore.Copy !req
742. I didn't even remember the song.Copy !req
743. No. I know.
I know, not consciously.Copy !req
744. But somewhere inside,Copy !req
745. You're still not over her.Copy !req
746. We were naive.Copy !req
747. I think sometimes we spendCopy !req
748. So much time with these kids
that we start acting like them.Copy !req
749. You've been
in the same relationshipCopy !req
750. Your entire life.Copy !req
751. You don't know
who you are alone.Copy !req
752. I think this song is justCopy !req
753. The beginning of you
repeating the same patterns.Copy !req
754. Terri and I met
when I was 15.Copy !req
755. I'm a different person now.Copy !req
756. How is you compromising yourselfCopy !req
757. For my crazy any different
than you doing it for hers?Copy !req
758. Well... What do
you want to do?Copy !req
759. I think that...Copy !req
760. You need to spend
some time alone.Copy !req
761. I do. I think you need
to get to know yourself.Copy !req
762. You know, you haven't been okayCopy !req
763. With having your own needs
since you were 15.Copy !req
764. You're right.Copy !req
765. I guess...Copy !req
766. I'm just not good
at being alone...Copy !req
767. And realizing what
my own needs are.Copy !req
768. Well, maybe around the time that
you figure out what they are...Copy !req
769. Maybe I'll be ready
to get a little messy.Copy !req
770. Can you go now?Copy !req
771. I think I need
to close the door and cry.Copy !req
772. Hey.Copy !req
773. I ended it with Jessie.Copy !req
774. You can spread the word.Copy !req
775. I know you know how to do that.Copy !req
776. Look, I'm sorry, uh...Copy !req
777. Look, I know
this really sucks for youCopy !req
778. But I think it's for the best.Copy !req
779. Taking one for the team.
I get it.Copy !req
780. No, not just for the team.Copy !req
781. For us.Copy !req
782. You and me.Copy !req
783. I've been thinking a lot lately.Copy !req
784. I feel like I haveCopy !req
785. All these problems, you know,Copy !req
786. With Quinn and-and basketball
and girls and stuff,Copy !req
787. And I've been so overwhelmedCopy !req
788. Trying to figure them all out.Copy !req
789. Then I realized the only thing
I needed to fix was us.Copy !req
790. I want us to be together,
Rachel.Copy !req
791. A real couple.Copy !req
792. Look, I even circled some dates
on your crazy calendar.Copy !req
793. Is you not being able
to talk right nowCopy !req
794. A good thing or a bad thing?Copy !req
795. I can't.
Can't what?Copy !req
796. I-I can't be a couple with you.Copy !req
797. It's the team.Copy !req
798. We-we can't have any,
um, drama right now.Copy !req
799. You know, we need... We need
to focus on regionals.Copy !req
800. And I appreciate your offer,Copy !req
801. But in the spirit
of being a team player,Copy !req
802. I have to decline.Copy !req
803. Hey, whoa.Copy !req
804. I'm not just some guy
that you met at the music storeCopy !req
805. That you can just blow off.Copy !req
806. I don't give up that easy.Copy !req
807. See you at rehearsal.Copy !req