1. How do you think that makes me feel?
Copy !req
2. Also, terri said
she's pregnant,
wow.
Copy !req
3. But really, she's faking
and mr. Schuster doesn't know.
Copy !req
4. This baby's the only reason
he's still here.
Copy !req
5. Will's busy getting the kids
ready for sectionals
Copy !req
6. Where they're up against
a school for the deaf...
Copy !req
7. I can't hear you. Talk
into this ear. Scarlet fever.
Copy !req
8. You're on!
Copy !req
9. And a group of juvie girls.
Copy !req
10. Aphasia, give mr. Schuster
his wallet back.
Copy !req
11. But it turns out both of them
are really good.
Copy !req
12. It's like cool epilepsy.
Also, sue kicked quinn out
Copy !req
13. Of the cheerios
because she's pregnant.
Copy !req
14. I can't have a pregnant
girl on my squad.
Copy !req
15. You're a disgrace.
Copy !req
16. It's not very nice,
but neither is sue.
Copy !req
17. Those drinks are crap!
Copy !req
18. Hey, guys.
Mind if I join you?
Copy !req
19. So, what's with
all the primping?
Copy !req
20. Yearbook pictures.
Copy !req
21. This is the 50th edition
Copy !req
22. Of the mckinley high school
thunderclap.
Copy !req
23. I'm going to drop 20 pounds
by Friday,
Copy !req
24. Look smoking hot
for that photo,
Copy !req
25. And be down to a trim 210
for the wedding a week Saturday.
Copy !req
26. Of course, the wedding
Copy !req
27. Was going to be in hawaii,
but then they told me
Copy !req
28. I couldn't bring
my own fruit, so...
Copy !req
29. But, sectionals is a week
from Saturday.
Copy !req
30. Oh, man.
Copy !req
31. Looks like you won't
be able to make it, eminem.
Copy !req
32. I, um, I totally forgot
about sectionals.
Copy !req
33. I'm-I'm sorry.
I wanted to go.
Copy !req
34. For the kids.
Copy !req
35. We're not
rescheduling.
Copy !req
36. The vfw hall is booked
till next June.
Copy !req
37. The only reason this Saturday
is available
Copy !req
38. Is 'cause it's
the one year anniversary
Copy !req
39. Of that grisly
fish fry shoot-out.
Copy !req
40. I got a monster discount.
Copy !req
41. Oh, my gosh.
Copy !req
42. Sue?
Copy !req
43. Did someone finally punch you?
Copy !req
44. Edie.
Copy !req
45. William. You.
Copy !req
46. Every year, when the photos
for the thunderclap
Copy !req
47. Come around, I always elect
to have a little work done.
Copy !req
48. This year, I got myself
a bit of an eye lift.
Copy !req
49. And while they were in there,
Copy !req
50. I told them to go ahead
and yank out those tear ducts.
Copy !req
51. Wasn't using them.
Copy !req
52. You know,
I got a storage unit
Copy !req
53. Full of trophies and medallions.
Copy !req
54. But, for the rest
of you educators,
Copy !req
55. These yearbook pictures
Copy !req
56. Are really
the only concrete proof you have
Copy !req
57. That anything you've done
Copy !req
58. In your sorry little lives
Copy !req
59. Has made any difference
whatsoever.
Copy !req
60. My cheerios are so excited.
Copy !req
61. Got them on a yam diet.
Copy !req
62. It draws the water
out of the skin.
Copy !req
63. Well, I'm sure my glee kids
are going to be excited, too.
Copy !req
64. Well, glee kids
don't get a photo.
Copy !req
65. What? Why is that?
Copy !req
66. Well, I just had a meeting
with principal figgins, eleanor,
Copy !req
67. And what with
all the vandalism
Copy !req
68. Of the glee club photos
over the years,
Copy !req
69. I convinced him
that putting the glee kids
Copy !req
70. In this year's thunderclap was
subjecting the little freaks
Copy !req
71. To more humiliation
Copy !req
72. And ridicule.
Copy !req
73. Why can't you just accept
the fact that my kids
Copy !req
74. Are going to take
sectionals this year?
Copy !req
75. That's not happening.
Copy !req
76. And stop with
the pointless vendetta.
Copy !req
77. Right.
Copy !req
78. This is so not fair, sue.
Copy !req
79. You know, I'm going to talk
to figgins about this.
Copy !req
80. Hey, good luck with that.
Copy !req
81. You know, you three
are boring me now.
Copy !req
82. I'm going
to go do something else.
Copy !req
83. Where's rachel?
Copy !req
84. She's not here yet.
Copy !req
85. Perfect.
Copy !req
86. Glee club stands
on a delicate precipice.
Copy !req
87. We have all felt the cold
Copy !req
88. Humiliation
of a slushie in the face.
Copy !req
89. But as of right now, our
relative anonymity as a club
Copy !req
90. Shields us from more
severe persecution—
Copy !req
91. Swirlies.
Copy !req
92. Patriotic wedgies.
Copy !req
93. What's a patriotic wedgie?
Copy !req
94. It's when they hoist you up
the flag pole by your undies.
Copy !req
95. Strangely, it did make me feel
more american.
Copy !req
96. Based on
my investigation,
Copy !req
97. I am of the opinion
that a yearbook photo
Copy !req
98. Would only fuel the flames
of anti-glee-club terror.
Copy !req
99. I've done a little
library research.
Copy !req
100. Peter gellar.
Glee club second tenor, 1998.
Copy !req
101. He can be seen here with both
Copy !req
102. A drawn on hitler mustache
and rice paddy hat.
Copy !req
103. Shortly after the yearbook
came out,
Copy !req
104. Mr. Gellar
had a nervous breakdown.
Copy !req
105. He is now the homeless man
Copy !req
106. Who sleeps in front
of the public library.
Copy !req
107. Patches?
Copy !req
108. Patches.
Copy !req
109. He barks at my mom.
Copy !req
110. Exhibit b.
Copy !req
111. Tawny peterson.
Glee club class of 2000.
Copy !req
112. Seen here in her photo with a
cartoon knife stuck in her head,
Copy !req
113. In a macabre tableau that,
in four years,
Copy !req
114. Would prove eerily prescient.
Copy !req
115. I think I speak
for all of us when I say
Copy !req
116. That not having to pose
for a yearbook photo
Copy !req
117. Might be a blessing in disguise.
Copy !req
118. I suggest not fighting
figgins' ruling.
Copy !req
119. Oh, hey, guys.
Copy !req
120. Ah. Looking at old
thunderclaps?
Copy !req
121. It's really unsettling.
Copy !req
122. And totally unfair.
Copy !req
123. Hey, can I borrow one of these?
Copy !req
124. You know what?
This year's thunderclap
Copy !req
125. Is going to have a glee club
photo with every one
Copy !req
126. Of your smiling faces.
Copy !req
127. You have my word on it.
Copy !req
128. Shue,
I'm doing the glee club a solid.
Copy !req
129. We're denying the opportunity
to other children
Copy !req
130. To further humiliate them.
Copy !req
131. No, no, no. Those kids get
up on stage all the time,
Copy !req
132. No matter what anyone
thinks of them,
Copy !req
133. And they perform.
Copy !req
134. They don't let anyone
or anything get to them.
Copy !req
135. That's something you
should encourage.
Copy !req
136. Sue is wrong!
Copy !req
137. Fine. I'll give them a photo.
Copy !req
138. Thank you.
Copy !req
139. For $1,000.
Copy !req
140. What?
Copy !req
141. That's what is costs.
Copy !req
142. The yearbook is prime
advertising space, shue.
Copy !req
143. Frederickson's funeral parlor
Copy !req
144. Experienced a 1.3% increase
in revenue
Copy !req
145. After their full page ad
last year in the thunderclap.
Copy !req
146. Okay, um...
Copy !req
147. What about a quarter page?
Copy !req
148. How much does that cost?
Copy !req
149. $325.
Copy !req
150. That will buy you
enough space for a photo
Copy !req
151. Of two members
of the glee club.
Copy !req
152. Right below the advertisement
Copy !req
153. For uncle sandro's chicken
inside of a waffle.
Copy !req
154. Figgins, that's a lot of money.
Copy !req
155. It's a compromise, shue.
Copy !req
156. Now, I suggest you select
a good-looking cheerleader—
Copy !req
157. Not the pregnant one—
Copy !req
158. And the quarterback
for the photo
Copy !req
159. As their faces are less likely
Copy !req
160. To be scratched out
with safety pins.
Copy !req
161. Mr. Schuster, I'm very
sorry to interrupt.
Copy !req
162. Principal figgins,
Copy !req
163. As you very well may know,
this is my first year
Copy !req
164. In glee club
and I've just been informed
Copy !req
165. That new directions has not
been afforded a yearbook photo.
Copy !req
166. As you might expect,
my two gay dads
Copy !req
167. Have a very close relationship
with our local branch
Copy !req
168. Of the aclu and
if it's up to me...
Copy !req
169. Beat you to the punch, rachel.
Copy !req
170. It's all good.
Copy !req
171. We're in the yearbook.
Copy !req
172. Oh. Fantastic.
Copy !req
173. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
174. Make fun of me all you want,
Copy !req
175. But school pictures
are everything to me.
Copy !req
176. They're great practice
for getting photographed
Copy !req
177. By the paparazzi.
Copy !req
178. Invasive as the press may be,
Copy !req
179. Stars are dependent
on them for their fame,
Copy !req
180. And I feel I must be prepared.
Copy !req
181. In order to do so, I join
every club I possibly can.
Copy !req
182. Know you're thinking that I'm
just joining all of these clubs
Copy !req
183. To give off the appearance that
I'm involved, known to exist,
Copy !req
184. But glee club is different.
Copy !req
185. I really love glee
Copy !req
186. And I believe
in what we stand for.
Copy !req
187. We've come from behind,
Copy !req
188. Dismissed and ridiculed
by everyone,
Copy !req
189. And we've made something
of ourselves,
Copy !req
190. Something that I'm proud
to be a part of,
Copy !req
191. Something I want
to be remembered for.
Copy !req
192. Oh, that's got
the whole flag.
Copy !req
193. I miss my cheerios uniform.
Copy !req
194. Made me feel safe.
Copy !req
195. Contained.
Copy !req
196. Even when I was feeling
left out,
Copy !req
197. At least I looked like
I was a part of something.
Copy !req
198. I want my kids to be able
to look back at these books
Copy !req
199. And see who I was,
Copy !req
200. Make them proud.
Copy !req
201. Not the bastard one
I'm carrying now, of course,
Copy !req
202. The ones I'll have
when I'm married and ready.
Copy !req
203. I might not look like
the head cheerleader anymore,
Copy !req
204. But I'm still her
on the inside.
Copy !req
205. I'm done playing the victim.
Copy !req
206. When that cheerleading picture
is taken for the yearbook,
Copy !req
207. I'm going to be in it
and back on the squad,
Copy !req
208. Whether sue sylvester
likes it or not.
Copy !req
209. Hey, baby. Which one of these
ties goes better with my shirt?
Copy !req
210. You're blocking
the tv, will.
Copy !req
211. Oh, come on. I need your help.
Copy !req
212. School pictures are coming up.
Copy !req
213. Oh. Well, in that case, um...
Copy !req
214. Wear the red one
for the teacher photo
Copy !req
215. And the green one
for the glee club.
Copy !req
216. Okay.
Copy !req
217. It'll pop more
when the cool kids deface it.
Copy !req
218. Yeah. I, uh...
Copy !req
219. I wanted to talk to you
about that.
Copy !req
220. So, figgins stopped putting the
glee club photo in the yearbook
Copy !req
221. Because it always
gets vandalized,
Copy !req
222. And I just feel
so bad for the kids.
Copy !req
223. I mean, they work so hard.
They deserve to be recognized.
Copy !req
224. Not being in that book
gives the appearance
Copy !req
225. That glee club isn't important.
Copy !req
226. I want to buy an ad and use it
as the glee club photo spread.
Copy !req
227. It's around $300.
Copy !req
228. Oh, great.
Copy !req
229. Yeah, why don't you
take the food
Copy !req
230. Out of the refrigerator and
just give that to the kids?
Copy !req
231. Will, that food
goes from my mouth
Copy !req
232. Right into our baby's belly.
Copy !req
233. We have a couple hundred bucks
left over
Copy !req
234. From selling
the blue bomber ii.
Copy !req
235. The answer's no, will. No.
Copy !req
236. But if we...
No!
Copy !req
237. No. No.
Copy !req
238. Actually, can you wait to
cash that until Thursday?
Copy !req
239. Kurt, I have a
fantastic idea for a club
Copy !req
240. That would officially make me
the most involved student
Copy !req
241. In the whole school.
Copy !req
242. I want us to start
a gaylesball.
Copy !req
243. I'm sorry?
Copy !req
244. The gay-lesbian alliance.
Copy !req
245. Gay-lesb-all.
Copy !req
246. Hey, guys!
Copy !req
247. Great news!
Copy !req
248. Glee club gets a photo
in the thunderclap.
Copy !req
249. yep.
Copy !req
250. It's going to show everyone
at the school
Copy !req
251. That glee club is on its way up.
Copy !req
252. When we win regionals,
Copy !req
253. Those claps are going to be
collector's items.
Copy !req
254. I mean, all of your classmates
are going to be
Copy !req
255. Begging for your autographs.
Copy !req
256. But I had to compromise
to do it.
Copy !req
257. Um, we only get a quarter page
in back.
Copy !req
258. Which means we have to pick
two team captains
Copy !req
259. To appear in the photo.
Copy !req
260. So, tomorrow we're going
to put it to a vote.
Copy !req
261. Exciting, huh?
Copy !req
262. All right.
Copy !req
263. Well, we're all here.
I guess we should vote.
Copy !req
264. With your permission,
Copy !req
265. I have prepared a few words.
Copy !req
266. I nominate rachel.
Second.
Copy !req
267. All right, let's vote up
in this piece.
Copy !req
268. I gotta go hit the gym and load
up the guns of puckerone
Copy !req
269. For the football picture.
Copy !req
270. Looks like everybody
voted for rachel.
Copy !req
271. Including rachel.
Copy !req
272. But we need two captains, guys.
Copy !req
273. Why two?
Copy !req
274. We're fine with having rachel
represent us
Copy !req
275. In the thunderclap
by herself.
Copy !req
276. We'd actually prefer it.
Copy !req
277. The worst part is
Copy !req
278. That after all this time,
Copy !req
279. They're still embarrassed
to be in glee club.
Copy !req
280. I mean, they still see
themselves as losers.
Copy !req
281. I just need to
get one of them
Copy !req
282. To step up
and become co-captain.
Copy !req
283. Well, maybe you should
let them use the captain
Copy !req
284. They already elected.
Copy !req
285. You know, sometimes sound a lot
different coming from a peer.
Copy !req
286. Even if that peer
is an annoying as rachel.
Copy !req
287. You know,
Copy !req
288. None of this is going to matter
if they win at sectionals.
Copy !req
289. I'm really sorry
I can't be there.
Copy !req
290. Yeah, I wanted to talk
to you about that.
Copy !req
291. I-I kind of think ken
scheduled your wedding
Copy !req
292. The same day on purpose.
Copy !req
293. You know,
Copy !req
294. So... So you couldn't go.
Copy !req
295. Why would he do that?
Copy !req
296. Come on.
Copy !req
297. We both know how he feels
about our... Relationship.
Copy !req
298. I'm marrying ken, will.
Copy !req
299. Look, I know
that I've...
Copy !req
300. I've definitely given him
reason in the past
Copy !req
301. To be jealous,
but I need you to know
Copy !req
302. That I'm done with that now.
Copy !req
303. Ken has a lot
of flaws.
Copy !req
304. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday,
but, you know what,
Copy !req
305. He is not vindictive.
Copy !req
306. He's actually
a very good man.
Copy !req
307. He is kind and he's great with
the students here at mckinley.
Copy !req
308. We have that in common.
Copy !req
309. And yes, it's true, his hygiene
could be a lot better,
Copy !req
310. But he is absolutely
full of compassion
Copy !req
311. And... Well, that is why
I'm marrying him.
Copy !req
312. You're right.
Copy !req
313. I was out of line.
Copy !req
314. It won't happen again.
Copy !req
315. You wanted
to see me, mr. Shue?
Copy !req
316. Oh, yeah, rach.
Copy !req
317. Sit down.
Copy !req
318. So, how's the new
captaincy going?
Copy !req
319. I think that my
unanimous election
Copy !req
320. Gave me a very strong
mandate to shake things up.
Copy !req
321. Great. Well,
Copy !req
322. I have a job for you, captain.
Copy !req
323. We need a co-captain.
Copy !req
324. You have so many
great ideas,
Copy !req
325. No reason you shouldn't
have some help
Copy !req
326. Pushing them through.
Copy !req
327. I could use a trusty lieutenant.
Copy !req
328. I do have over 65 proposals.
Copy !req
329. So, can I count on you?
Copy !req
330. No problem.
Copy !req
331. I'm on it.
Copy !req
332. Um, I can't be co-captain.
No time. Kwanza.
Copy !req
333. Kwanza's late
December, mercedes.
Copy !req
334. The photo's
this Thursday.
Copy !req
335. Yeah, prepping early this year.
Copy !req
336. I'd love to be in
the photo, rachel,
Copy !req
337. But you'd be standing
and I'd be sitting
Copy !req
338. And it would throw off
the whole composition.
Copy !req
339. I'll lean over.
Copy !req
340. But if you lean over...
Copy !req
341. It will look like
you have stomach rolls.
Copy !req
342. On second thought,
Copy !req
343. I don't think that you're
leadership material, artie.
Copy !req
344. Follower.
Copy !req
345. Brittany, this is a
once in a lifetime opportunity.
Copy !req
346. No way.
Why not?
Copy !req
347. Because I don't want to be
in a picture with you.
Copy !req
348. It'll get defaced.
Copy !req
349. No, it won't.
Yes, it will.
Copy !req
350. I'll be the one doing it.
Copy !req
351. I'm desperate.
Copy !req
352. Glee club needs you, finn.
Copy !req
353. I'm totally honored
you asked me,
Copy !req
354. But don't you think you should
pick somebody
Copy !req
355. Who, like, cares more?
Copy !req
356. Not that I don't,
Copy !req
357. But I just have football
and friends and stuff.
Copy !req
358. Glee club only started working
after you joined.
Copy !req
359. Face it, we wouldn't have
all of the cheerleaders
Copy !req
360. And football players
in the club
Copy !req
361. If it wasn't for you.
Copy !req
362. You know I love glee club.
Copy !req
363. I just don't know why
I have to represent it.
Copy !req
364. Because you're
a leader, finn.
Copy !req
365. And that's what
leaders do.
Copy !req
366. They stick their necks out
for people that they care about.
Copy !req
367. There are stakes here.
Copy !req
368. Morale is low, you know it.
Copy !req
369. If things don't change,
Copy !req
370. We're not even going
to place at sectionals.
Copy !req
371. And then the club is over.
Copy !req
372. I can't do this alone.
Copy !req
373. You don't have to.
Copy !req
374. I am a leader.
Copy !req
375. That's who I am,
who I want to be.
Copy !req
376. You got yourself a co-captain.
Copy !req
377. I'll do the picture with you.
Copy !req
378. I totally understand that
as captain of the football team,
Copy !req
379. You've worked really hard
to project an appearance
Copy !req
380. Of steely toughness, but
glee club is different.
Copy !req
381. We have to present
the appearance
Copy !req
382. Of positivity and optimism.
Copy !req
383. So... We're gonna practice,
Copy !req
384. And I'm going to teach you
Copy !req
385. How to smile correctly
for your photo.
Copy !req
386. What the hell?
Copy !req
387. Hey, man, shh, we're practicing,
dude. Chill out.
Copy !req
388. We heard you're going to be
in the glee club photo,
Copy !req
389. And we don't want to
mess up messing it up.
Copy !req
390. Screw you, karofsky!
Copy !req
391. I'm sick of you
pulling people down.
Copy !req
392. Hey, man, don't talk
that kum-bah-yay-yah crap.
Copy !req
393. All right, you know
the system's put in place
Copy !req
394. To keep order around here.
Copy !req
395. You know what, I'm gonna
give you some options, okay?
Copy !req
396. Do you want me to put
the hitler mustache
Copy !req
397. On your glee club picture,
or you want the buck teeth
Copy !req
398. On your glee club picture?
Which one do you want?
Copy !req
399. It don't matter to me
either way.
Copy !req
400. I'll put...
Copy !req
401. Hey, how do you
spell "loser"?
Copy !req
402. I'm gonna write it
on his forehead.
Copy !req
403. His big ol' potato head.
Copy !req
404. You could write a whole haiku
on that thing.
Copy !req
405. Can we shake a leg here?
Copy !req
406. Fine.
Copy !req
407. I'm ready.
Copy !req
408. I'll... Do it myself.
Copy !req
409. wait, I...
Copy !req
410. I insist on only being shot
from my left side.
Copy !req
411. Yeah, I kind of need
to see your teeth.
Copy !req
412. It's sort of my job here.
Copy !req
413. I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm upset.
Copy !req
414. My co-captain bailed
and it just...
Copy !req
415. I'm sorry, I just need a minute.
Copy !req
416. Snap out of this.
Copy !req
417. Stop being defined by what
other people think of you,
Copy !req
418. Or how they disappoint you.
Copy !req
419. It's lonely at the top,
you know that.
Copy !req
420. What's that song
about overcoming
Copy !req
421. Professional and personal
disappointments?
Copy !req
422. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
423. I'm ready.
Copy !req
424. Great.
Copy !req
425. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
426. That-that's it?
Copy !req
427. I practiced over
18 different poses
Copy !req
428. For this shoot, and I haven't
even shown you
Copy !req
429. Any of my over
the left shoulder pose. See?
Copy !req
430. Sorry, kid, I got to blow.
Copy !req
431. I got a casting session
in half an hour.
Copy !req
432. A... A casting session for what?
Copy !req
433. My brother-in-law is shooting
a commercial for his store.
Copy !req
434. I'm directing it.
Copy !req
435. I just do these school
photos for the money.
Copy !req
436. Uh, uh, okay.
Copy !req
437. Wait, no, don't...
Copy !req
438. I can take a couple more
pictures for you.
Copy !req
439. I can cry on demand.
Copy !req
440. It's one
of my many talents.
Copy !req
441. I'm very versatile,
Copy !req
442. And aside from nudity
and the exploitation of animals,
Copy !req
443. I'll pretty much do anything
to break into the business.
Copy !req
444. We-well, you certainly
seem talented and all,
Copy !req
445. But I need...
Copy !req
446. There's other speaking
parts in this thing.
Copy !req
447. I need, like, a bunch
of other actors, too.
Copy !req
448. I can help with that.
Copy !req
449. I'd like to call
this meeting to order.
Copy !req
450. Oh, hello, finn.
Copy !req
451. How nice of you to show.
Copy !req
452. Look, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
453. The guys
were harassing me
Copy !req
454. In the locker
room about it.
Copy !req
455. They said that if I took
the glee club photo,
Copy !req
456. That they'd make me choose
between an hitler mustache
Copy !req
457. Or buck teeth, and I can't
rock either of those looks.
Copy !req
458. Do you think I have
a potato head?
Copy !req
459. Okay, look, I realize now
Copy !req
460. That all of you think that
glee club is just a joke.
Copy !req
461. Okay, and you're convinced
Copy !req
462. That we can't win, and you're
content to just sit idle by
Copy !req
463. Until figgins cancels the club.
Copy !req
464. Well,
Copy !req
465. I'm about to present to you
a rare opportunity.
Copy !req
466. The opportunity
to become stars.
Copy !req
467. How?
Copy !req
468. We've all been cast
in a local commercial.
Copy !req
469. Are you serious?
Yes, finn,
Copy !req
470. And while
all of you have been
Copy !req
471. So concerned with your
appearance in this school,
Copy !req
472. I've landed glee club
its first big break.
Copy !req
473. Simply put,
Copy !req
474. Making us all celebrities.
Copy !req
475. Okay, and no one
Copy !req
476. Messes with celebrities
or defaces their pictures.
Copy !req
477. What's the commercial?
Copy !req
478. Hold on to your hats
and get ready to sell...
Copy !req
479. Some mattresses!
Copy !req
480. I'm getting a nice pair
of black suspenders.
Copy !req
481. Simple black.
Copy !req
482. My mom's going
to be really proud.
Copy !req
483. Let's do our camera face.
Copy !req
484. I can't believe we're finally
breaking into the biz!
Copy !req
485. You guys, I want us to always
remember this moment.
Copy !req
486. Soon, there may be agents
and managers and movie deals,
Copy !req
487. But right now I want us
to remember what it feels like
Copy !req
488. To be here
together as a team.
Copy !req
489. Whatever. Soon as I get
my record deal,
Copy !req
490. I'm not speaking
to any of you.
Copy !req
491. Okay, guys, we're very excited
to have you here.
Copy !req
492. We here at mattress land
believe that mattresses
Copy !req
493. Aren't just for sleeping
and fornicating anymore.
Copy !req
494. We believe that buying
an affordable mattress
Copy !req
495. Should be fun.
Copy !req
496. All right,
let's go over the script.
Copy !req
497. I think it's pretty brilliant.
Copy !req
498. I wrote it myself.
Action!
Copy !req
499. "ah, me."
Copy !req
500. "what's wrong?"
Copy !req
501. "we just lost our jobs...
Copy !req
502. "at the factory,
Copy !req
503. And we can't get
a good night's sleep."
Copy !req
504. "chipper up!
Copy !req
505. "come on down to mattress land.
Copy !req
506. "we've got near-wholesale prices
Copy !req
507. To fit your style
and pocketbook."
Copy !req
508. I-I'm sorry.
Mr. Cusperberg.
Copy !req
509. This script is brilliant,
Copy !req
510. But we're a glee club,
and we should perform.
Copy !req
511. Perform the lines
as I wrote them.
Copy !req
512. Wait a minute, dennis.
Copy !req
513. What did you
have in mind?
Copy !req
514. Come on down
to mattress land!
Copy !req
515. Come on down to mattress land!
Copy !req
516. Uh...
Copy !req
517. Terri, have you seen
my pocket square?
Copy !req
518. Terri?
Copy !req
519. Terri?
Copy !req
520. A pocket square's
gonna make you look
like ted knight.
Copy !req
521. What is this?
Copy !req
522. It's a pregnancy pad.
Copy !req
523. They have them at the maternity
stores for trying on clothes
Copy !req
524. So you can see how you're gonna
look when you're showing.
Copy !req
525. Kendra stole it for me
so I could see
Copy !req
526. If any of her old
clothes would fit...
Copy !req
527. Pick up your shirt.
Copy !req
528. What?
Copy !req
529. No.
Copy !req
530. Pick up your shirt.
Copy !req
531. You're scaring me, will.
Copy !req
532. Think about what
you're accusing me of.
Copy !req
533. Think about it and turn around
and go find your pocket square.
Copy !req
534. Please?
Copy !req
535. Why did you do this to us?
Copy !req
536. I don't understand!
Copy !req
537. I thought
you were leaving me.
Copy !req
538. You're so different, will.
Copy !req
539. We both know it.
I can feel you.
Copy !req
540. You're pulling away from me.
Copy !req
541. Why, because I-I've started
standing up to you?
Copy !req
542. Trying to make this
a relationship of equals?
Copy !req
543. No, because of the damn
glee club.
Copy !req
544. Ever since
you started it,
Copy !req
545. You just walk around
Copy !req
546. Like you're better than me!
Copy !req
547. I should be allowed
to feel good about myself!
Copy !req
548. Who are we kidding, will?
Copy !req
549. This marriage works because
Copy !req
550. You don't feel good
about yourself.
Copy !req
551. This marriage works
because I love you,
Copy !req
552. Because I've always
accepted you, good and bad.
Copy !req
553. You loved the girl you met
when you were 15.
Copy !req
554. I'm not that girl.
Copy !req
555. You've made yourself
a stranger to me now.
Copy !req
556. Are you happy?
Are you satisfied?
Copy !req
557. It didn't start as a lie.
Copy !req
558. I really thought I was pregnant.
Copy !req
559. And then the doctor,
Copy !req
560. He said it was a hysterical
pregnancy, and I...
Copy !req
561. I just panicked!
Copy !req
562. This is insane.
Copy !req
563. What were you gonna do
when the due date came?
Copy !req
564. Quinn fabray.
Copy !req
565. It was so perfect.
Copy !req
566. She didn't want hers,
and I needed one.
Copy !req
567. I had the doctor use her
ultrasound dvd
Copy !req
568. At your appointment
that you came to.
Copy !req
569. I loved you, terri.
Copy !req
570. I really loved you.
Copy !req
571. I'm so sorry, will.
Copy !req
572. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
573. Do you remember
at that appointment?
Copy !req
574. Do you remember what we said?
Copy !req
575. That at that moment,
no matter what happened,
Copy !req
576. We loved each other.
Copy !req
577. We could get that
feeling back again.
Copy !req
578. You could love me
back, will!
Copy !req
579. Please, will!
Please, don't go!
Copy !req
580. Please, don't go!
Please?
Copy !req
581. Oh, god.
Copy !req
582. Am I asking for too much,
Copy !req
583. Ohio board of statewide
holiday planning?
Copy !req
584. All I want is just one day
a year
Copy !req
585. Where I'm not visually assaulted
by uglies and fatties.
Copy !req
586. Seriously, ohio,
these retinas need a day off.
Copy !req
587. So here's the dream:
Copy !req
588. Friday after christmas—
which I have off—
Copy !req
589. If you're hideous, stay at home.
Copy !req
590. Spend the entire day watching
home videos of a time
Copy !req
591. When you weren't
too repulsive for me
Copy !req
592. To ever want to look at.
Copy !req
593. And that's how sue sees it.
Copy !req
594. Rod.
Copy !req
595. Slammin', sue.
Copy !req
596. We'll be right back.
Copy !req
597. Hey, andrea, that
"sue's corner" I just did,
Copy !req
598. Was talking about you.
Copy !req
599. Who says finding a mattress
can't be fun?
Copy !req
600. At mattress land,
Copy !req
601. We have mattresses of all shapes
and sizes
Copy !req
602. At prices that won't break
your pocketbook.
Copy !req
603. No credit? No problem!
Copy !req
604. Mattress land has
a no-hassle financing
Copy !req
605. Of 12.9% with no money down
and no payments till next year.
Copy !req
606. You'll jump for joy
at our prices.
Copy !req
607. Come on down to mattress land!
Copy !req
608. Coach sylvester,
we need to talk.
Copy !req
609. Oh, I got nothing to say
to you, prego.
Copy !req
610. The cheerios' photo's tomorrow,
and I want back on that squad.
Copy !req
611. Oh, is that what you want?
Copy !req
612. Well, what I wanted was a head
cheerleader who wasn't going
Copy !req
613. To hoist her legs behind her
ears in the backseat
Copy !req
614. Of the first station wagon
she could jimmy open,
Copy !req
615. Throwing away any chance
she ever had in life.
Copy !req
616. It would be good
for the school.
Copy !req
617. Show everyone that
appearances don't matter.
Copy !req
618. That sometimes people have to
deal with a little adversity.
Copy !req
619. I learned that
in glee club.
Copy !req
620. Well, that little educational
proverb must have slithered
Copy !req
621. From will schuester's mouth
right after his lesson
Copy !req
622. On how to disqualify yourselves
from sectionals.
Copy !req
623. What?
Copy !req
624. Saw your little commercial
last night.
Copy !req
625. Boy, did you glee kids
step in it.
Copy !req
626. Shue, I'm afraid sue is right.
Copy !req
627. You have indeed stepped in it.
Copy !req
628. No, I didn't even know
this was going on.
Copy !req
629. Of course, you didn't, william.
Copy !req
630. You wouldn't know if your glee
club was using your office
Copy !req
631. To breed rabbits for pets
or for food. And you know why?
Copy !req
632. You're too busy chasing tail
and loading your hair
Copy !req
633. With enormous amounts
of product!
Copy !req
634. I mean, today it just looks
like you put lard in it.
Copy !req
635. What are you
even talking about?
Copy !req
636. Look, look,
the kids did the commercial
Copy !req
637. To foster a feeling of unity
after you—
Copy !req
638. Not anyone else— you got them
banned from the yearbook.
Copy !req
639. That's what I did,
yes, I admit it.
Copy !req
640. It was an innocent mistake.
Copy !req
641. And what if I were to just
innocently murder you, will?
Copy !req
642. I'd still have
to go to trial.
Copy !req
643. Probably get off with
justifiable homicide.
Copy !req
644. Let me review the
rules for you.
Copy !req
645. William, amendment 63,
seventh addendum:
Copy !req
646. "no professional activity of
any kind will be tolerated,
Copy !req
647. "and payment for services
rendered negates amateur status,
Copy !req
648. Triggering immediate
disqualification."
Copy !req
649. Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, keep it civil.
Copy !req
650. Hey, what, mister?
Copy !req
651. No, keep it
simple, folks!
Copy !req
652. Keep it simple.
Copy !req
653. Hey, I'm sorry, shue,
Copy !req
654. But I cannot let this slide.
Copy !req
655. But the kids
weren't even paid!
Copy !req
656. There's a stack of
mattresses in the choir room
Copy !req
657. Piled as high as the
empty hair gel bottles
Copy !req
658. In the dumpster
outside your apartment!
Copy !req
659. Okay, we'll give
the mattresses back.
Copy !req
660. Shue, one of those
mattresses was used.
Copy !req
661. You can't return
a used mattress.
Copy !req
662. You can't even
donate one to charity.
Copy !req
663. Lice, bedbugs—
I looked it up online!
Copy !req
664. Is there any reason
that you have
Copy !req
665. A soiled mattress
in your office, will?
Copy !req
666. Have you and the redhead
become so sexually depraved
Copy !req
667. That you have to commit
your craven acts of adultery
Copy !req
668. In between classes?
Copy !req
669. What?
Copy !req
670. You know what, okay, fine.
Copy !req
671. I slept here, all right?
Copy !req
672. Excuse me?
Copy !req
673. I'm thinking about
leaving my wife.
Copy !req
674. Well, I didn't see
that one coming at all.
Copy !req
675. William, I am very sorry
about your personal troubles
Copy !req
676. But my hands are tied.
Copy !req
677. Sue's right—
you broke the rules.
Copy !req
678. I cannot fight
the scholastic board.
Copy !req
679. I'm sorry but glee club is over.
Copy !req
680. It's over!
Copy !req
681. "dear journal,
Copy !req
682. "I've finally gotten
will schuester
Copy !req
683. "and that glee club
out of my hair.
Copy !req
684. "this is a day
that will live in infamy.
Copy !req
685. Once again, I've won."
Copy !req
686. Miss sylvester.
Copy !req
687. It's like looking at
a porno star in a nun's habit.
Copy !req
688. I wanted to show you
that it still fits.
Copy !req
689. My baby bump isn't that bad,
Copy !req
690. It's just like
I had a big lunch.
Copy !req
691. Take it off.
Copy !req
692. You need to get it
through your pregnant head,
Copy !req
693. There's no way
you're getting in that photo
Copy !req
694. Or back on the cheerios.
Copy !req
695. End of story.
Copy !req
696. You're a hypocrite.
Excuse me?
Copy !req
697. I just heard that
you got glee club's
Copy !req
698. Amateur status revoked
over a mattress.
Copy !req
699. While you are constantly
Copy !req
700. Showering the cheerios
with swag.
Copy !req
701. I've gotten free shoes,
Copy !req
702. Complimentary tanning,
haircuts.
Copy !req
703. The season tickets
to cedar point—
Copy !req
704. We sold those on ebay.
Copy !req
705. For a profit.
Copy !req
706. It seems to me that
if figgins found out,
Copy !req
707. You would get banned
from competition.
Copy !req
708. Fine.
Copy !req
709. You're back on the cheerios.
Copy !req
710. I'll put you on full-time
dry cleaning duty
Copy !req
711. And shove you to the back
of the photo to hide your shame.
Copy !req
712. I'm not finished.
Copy !req
713. Glee club gets
a full page photo.
Copy !req
714. That's not up to me.
Copy !req
715. You are giving up one
of the cheerios' six pages
Copy !req
716. And you are giving it to
the glee club free of charge.
Copy !req
717. You know, q, I'd forgotten
Copy !req
718. Just how ruthless
you really are.
Copy !req
719. You're like a young
sue sylvester.
Copy !req
720. Now, get out of my office.
Copy !req
721. If you can manage to
squeeze through the door
Copy !req
722. Without your water breaking
all over my new carpet.
Copy !req
723. You know what?
Copy !req
724. I don't think I want to be
a cheerio after all.
Copy !req
725. I don't want to be on a team
where I only appear to belong.
Copy !req
726. I'd rather be a part of
a club that's proud to have me
Copy !req
727. Like glee club.
Copy !req
728. It's my fault.
Copy !req
729. If I hadn't slept
on that mattress,
Copy !req
730. We could've just returned
them and moved on.
Copy !req
731. Hey, can I give you some advice?
Copy !req
732. Please.
Copy !req
733. You need to give yourself
a break.
Copy !req
734. you do.
Copy !req
735. You'll figure out what to do
with the kids, you always do.
Copy !req
736. But I think right now
Copy !req
737. You really need to focus
on your own life.
Copy !req
738. You know, divorce
is a really big deal.
Copy !req
739. Who said anything
about getting a divorce?
Copy !req
740. Oh, god, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
741. I just assumed
Copy !req
742. That that's...
Copy !req
743. Is that what you would do?
Copy !req
744. Well, um...
Copy !req
745. When I first heard about
Copy !req
746. What terri had done,
Copy !req
747. Oh, gosh, no, I thought there
should be some sort of law.
Copy !req
748. But then when I thought
Copy !req
749. About it some more,
Copy !req
750. Thought about
what I would've done
Copy !req
751. If I'd felt you slipping away...
Copy !req
752. You would never be that cruel.
Copy !req
753. No, her methods were wrong,
but, um,
Copy !req
754. I totally understand
her intentions.
Copy !req
755. You're a lot to lose, will.
Copy !req
756. But we don't want to go
to sectionals without you.
Copy !req
757. It's without me or not at all.
Copy !req
758. Look, I was the one
who slept on the mattress,
Copy !req
759. Which means I accepted them,
not you.
Copy !req
760. Which means I'm disqualified
from competition,
Copy !req
761. Not you guys.
Copy !req
762. He's taking the
bullet for us.
Copy !req
763. Solid.
Copy !req
764. We have worked too hard
Copy !req
765. For you guys
not to get your shot.
Copy !req
766. We can't do this without you,
mr. Shue.
Copy !req
767. Hell, we probably
can't do it with you.
Copy !req
768. That's not true.
Copy !req
769. You guys are good.
Copy !req
770. You're really good.
Copy !req
771. You did "jump" for that
commercial without me, right?
Copy !req
772. Look, the best teachers
don't give you the answers.
Copy !req
773. They just point the way and
let you make your own choices.
Copy !req
774. Your own mistakes.
Copy !req
775. That way you get all the glory.
Copy !req
776. And you deserve it.
Copy !req
777. Look, if... If you can't win
without me there,
Copy !req
778. Then I haven't done my job.
Copy !req
779. We're really
sorry, mr. Shue.
Copy !req
780. I know.
Copy !req
781. I want you guys
to go get gussied up
Copy !req
782. And take that glee club photo
with pride.
Copy !req
783. I want to see a smile
on every one of your faces.
Copy !req