1. How do you think that makes me feel?
Copy !req
2. Also, terri said
she's pregnant,
wow.
Copy !req
3. But really, she's faking
and mr. Schuster doesn't know.
Copy !req
4. This baby's the only reason
he's still here.
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5. Will's busy getting the kids
ready for sectionals
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6. Where they're up against
a school for the deaf...
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7. I can't hear you. Talk
into this ear. Scarlet fever.
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8. You're on!
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9. And a group of juvie girls.
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10. Aphasia, give mr. Schuster
his wallet back.
Copy !req
11. But it turns out both of them
are really good.
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12. It's like cool epilepsy.
Also, sue kicked quinn out
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13. Of the cheerios
because she's pregnant.
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14. I can't have a pregnant
girl on my squad.
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15. You're a disgrace.
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16. It's not very nice,
but neither is sue.
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17. Those drinks are crap!
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18. Hey, guys.
Mind if I join you?
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19. So, what's with
all the primping?
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20. Yearbook pictures.
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21. This is the 50th edition
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22. Of the mckinley high school
thunderclap.
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23. I'm going to drop 20 pounds
by Friday,
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24. Look smoking hot
for that photo,
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25. And be down to a trim 210
for the wedding a week Saturday.
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26. Of course, the wedding
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27. Was going to be in hawaii,
but then they told me
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28. I couldn't bring
my own fruit, so...
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29. But, sectionals is a week
from Saturday.
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30. Oh, man.
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31. Looks like you won't
be able to make it, eminem.
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32. I, um, I totally forgot
about sectionals.
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33. I'm-I'm sorry.
I wanted to go.
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34. For the kids.
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35. We're not
rescheduling.
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36. The vfw hall is booked
till next June.
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37. The only reason this Saturday
is available
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38. Is 'cause it's
the one year anniversary
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39. Of that grisly
fish fry shoot-out.
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40. I got a monster discount.
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41. We just got to be out of there
before the candlelight vigil.
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42. I remember.
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43. Oh, my gosh.
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44. Sue?
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45. Did someone finally punch you?
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46. Edie.
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47. William. You.
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48. Every year, when the photos
for the thunderclap
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49. Come around, I always elect
to have a little work done.
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50. This year, I got myself
a bit of an eye lift.
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51. And while they were in there,
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52. I told them to go ahead
and yank out those tear ducts.
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53. Wasn't using them.
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54. You know,
I got a storage unit
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55. Full of trophies and medallions.
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56. But, for the rest
of you educators,
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57. These yearbook pictures
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58. Are really
the only concrete proof you have
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59. That anything you've done
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60. In your sorry little lives
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61. Has made any difference
whatsoever.
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62. My cheerios are so excited.
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63. Got them on a yam diet.
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64. It draws the water
out of the skin.
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65. Well, I'm sure my glee kids
are going to be excited, too.
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66. Well, glee kids
don't get a photo.
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67. What? Why is that?
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68. Well, I just had a meeting
with principal figgins, eleanor,
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69. And what with
all the vandalism
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70. Of the glee club photos
over the years,
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71. I convinced him
that putting the glee kids
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72. In this year's thunderclap was
subjecting the little freaks
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73. To more humiliation
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74. And ridicule.
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75. Why can't you just accept
the fact that my kids
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76. Are going to take
sectionals this year?
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77. That's not happening.
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78. And stop with
the pointless vendetta.
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79. Right.
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80. This is so not fair, sue.
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81. You know, I'm going to talk
to figgins about this.
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82. Hey, good luck with that.
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83. You know, you three
are boring me now.
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84. I'm going
to go do something else.
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85. Where's rachel?
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86. She's not here yet.
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87. Perfect.
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88. Glee club stands
on a delicate precipice.
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89. We have all felt the cold
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90. Humiliation
of a slushie in the face.
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91. But as of right now, our
relative anonymity as a club
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92. Shields us from more
severe persecution—
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93. Swirlies.
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94. Patriotic wedgies.
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95. What's a patriotic wedgie?
Copy !req
96. It's when they hoist you up
the flag pole by your undies.
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97. Strangely, it did make me feel
more american.
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98. Based on
my investigation,
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99. I am of the opinion
that a yearbook photo
Copy !req
100. Would only fuel the flames
of anti-glee-club terror.
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101. I've done a little
library research.
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102. Peter gellar.
Glee club second tenor, 1998.
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103. He can be seen here with both
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104. A drawn on hitler mustache
and rice paddy hat.
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105. Shortly after the yearbook
came out,
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106. Mr. Gellar
had a nervous breakdown.
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107. He is now the homeless man
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108. Who sleeps in front
of the public library.
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109. Patches?
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110. Patches.
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111. He barks at my mom.
Copy !req
112. Exhibit b.
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113. Tawny peterson.
Glee club class of 2000.
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114. Seen here in her photo with a
cartoon knife stuck in her head,
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115. In a macabre tableau that,
in four years,
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116. Would prove eerily prescient.
Copy !req
117. I think I speak
for all of us when I say
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118. That not having to pose
for a yearbook photo
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119. Might be a blessing in disguise.
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120. I suggest not fighting
figgins' ruling.
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121. Oh, hey, guys.
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122. Ah. Looking at old
thunderclaps?
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123. It's really unsettling.
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124. And totally unfair.
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125. Hey, can I borrow one of these?
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126. You know what?
This year's thunderclap
Copy !req
127. Is going to have a glee club
photo with every one
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128. Of your smiling faces.
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129. You have my word on it.
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130. Shue,
I'm doing the glee club a solid.
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131. We're denying the opportunity
to other children
Copy !req
132. To further humiliate them.
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133. No, no, no. Those kids get
up on stage all the time,
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134. No matter what anyone
thinks of them,
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135. And they perform.
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136. They don't let anyone
or anything get to them.
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137. That's something you
should encourage.
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138. Sue is wrong!
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139. Fine. I'll give them a photo.
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140. Thank you.
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141. For $1,000.
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142. What?
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143. That's what is costs.
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144. The yearbook is prime
advertising space, shue.
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145. Frederickson's funeral parlor
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146. Experienced a 1.3% increase
in revenue
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147. After their full page ad
last year in the thunderclap.
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148. Okay, um...
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149. What about a quarter page?
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150. How much does that cost?
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151. $325.
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152. That will buy you
enough space for a photo
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153. Of two members
of the glee club.
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154. Right below the advertisement
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155. For uncle sandro's chicken
inside of a waffle.
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156. Figgins, that's a lot of money.
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157. It's a compromise, shue.
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158. Now, I suggest you select
a good-looking cheerleader—
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159. Not the pregnant one—
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160. And the quarterback
for the photo
Copy !req
161. As their faces are less likely
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162. To be scratched out
with safety pins.
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163. Mr. Schuster, I'm very
sorry to interrupt.
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164. Principal figgins,
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165. As you very well may know,
this is my first year
Copy !req
166. In glee club
and I've just been informed
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167. That new directions has not
been afforded a yearbook photo.
Copy !req
168. As you might expect,
my two gay dads
Copy !req
169. Have a very close relationship
with our local branch
Copy !req
170. Of the aclu and
if it's up to me...
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171. Beat you to the punch, rachel.
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172. It's all good.
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173. We're in the yearbook.
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174. Oh. Fantastic.
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175. Thank you so much.
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176. Make fun of me all you want,
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177. But school pictures
are everything to me.
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178. They're great practice
for getting photographed
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179. By the paparazzi.
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180. Invasive as the press may be,
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181. Stars are dependent
on them for their fame,
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182. And I feel I must be prepared.
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183. In order to do so, I join
every club I possibly can.
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184. Know you're thinking that I'm
just joining all of these clubs
Copy !req
185. To give off the appearance that
I'm involved, known to exist,
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186. But glee club is different.
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187. I really love glee
Copy !req
188. And I believe
in what we stand for.
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189. We've come from behind,
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190. Dismissed and ridiculed
by everyone,
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191. And we've made something
of ourselves,
Copy !req
192. Something that I'm proud
to be a part of,
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193. Something I want
to be remembered for.
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194. Oh, that's got
the whole flag.
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195. I miss my cheerios uniform.
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196. Made me feel safe.
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197. Contained.
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198. Even when I was feeling
left out,
Copy !req
199. At least I looked like
I was a part of something.
Copy !req
200. I want my kids to be able
to look back at these books
Copy !req
201. And see who I was,
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202. Make them proud.
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203. Not the bastard one
I'm carrying now, of course,
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204. The ones I'll have
when I'm married and ready.
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205. I might not look like
the head cheerleader anymore,
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206. But I'm still her
on the inside.
Copy !req
207. I'm done playing the victim.
Copy !req
208. When that cheerleading picture
is taken for the yearbook,
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209. I'm going to be in it
and back on the squad,
Copy !req
210. Whether sue sylvester
likes it or not.
Copy !req
211. Hey, baby. Which one of these
ties goes better with my shirt?
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212. You're blocking
the tv, will.
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213. Oh, come on. I need your help.
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214. School pictures are coming up.
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215. Oh. Well, in that case, um...
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216. Wear the red one
for the teacher photo
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217. And the green one
for the glee club.
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218. Okay.
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219. It'll pop more
when the cool kids deface it.
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220. Yeah. I, uh...
Copy !req
221. I wanted to talk to you
about that.
Copy !req
222. So, figgins stopped putting the
glee club photo in the yearbook
Copy !req
223. Because it always
gets vandalized,
Copy !req
224. And I just feel
so bad for the kids.
Copy !req
225. I mean, they work so hard.
They deserve to be recognized.
Copy !req
226. Not being in that book
gives the appearance
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227. That glee club isn't important.
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228. I want to buy an ad and use it
as the glee club photo spread.
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229. It's around $300.
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230. Oh, great.
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231. Yeah, why don't you
take the food
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232. Out of the refrigerator and
just give that to the kids?
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233. Will, that food
goes from my mouth
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234. Right into our baby's belly.
Copy !req
235. We have a couple hundred bucks
left over
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236. From selling
the blue bomber ii.
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237. The answer's no, will. No.
Copy !req
238. But if we...
No!
Copy !req
239. No. No.
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240. Actually, can you wait to
cash that until Thursday?
Copy !req
241. Kurt, I have a
fantastic idea for a club
Copy !req
242. That would officially make me
the most involved student
Copy !req
243. In the whole school.
Copy !req
244. I want us to start
a gaylesball.
Copy !req
245. I'm sorry?
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246. The gay-lesbian alliance.
Copy !req
247. Gay-lesb-all.
Copy !req
248. Hey, guys!
Copy !req
249. Great news!
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250. Glee club gets a photo
in the thunderclap.
Copy !req
251. (murmuring unenthusiastically)
yep.
Copy !req
252. It's going to show everyone
at the school
Copy !req
253. That glee club is on its way up.
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254. When we win regionals,
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255. Those claps are going to be
collector's items.
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256. I mean, all of your classmates
are going to be
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257. Begging for your autographs.
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258. But I had to compromise
to do it.
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259. Um, we only get a quarter page
in back.
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260. Which means we have to pick
two team captains
Copy !req
261. To appear in the photo.
Copy !req
262. So, tomorrow we're going
to put it to a vote.
Copy !req
263. Exciting, huh?
Copy !req
264. All right.
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265. Well, we're all here.
I guess we should vote.
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266. With your permission,
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267. I have prepared a few words.
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268. I nominate rachel.
Second.
Copy !req
269. All right, let's vote up
in this piece.
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270. I gotta go hit the gym and load
up the guns of puckerone
Copy !req
271. For the football picture.
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272. Looks like everybody
voted for rachel.
Copy !req
273. Including rachel.
Copy !req
274. But we need two captains, guys.
Copy !req
275. Why two?
Copy !req
276. We're fine with having rachel
represent us
Copy !req
277. In the thunderclap
by herself.
Copy !req
278. We'd actually prefer it.
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279. The worst part is
Copy !req
280. That after all this time,
Copy !req
281. They're still embarrassed
to be in glee club.
Copy !req
282. I mean, they still see
themselves as losers.
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283. I just need to
get one of them
Copy !req
284. To step up
and become co-captain.
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285. Well, maybe you should
let them use the captain
Copy !req
286. They already elected.
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287. You know, sometimes sound a lot
different coming from a peer.
Copy !req
288. Even if that peer
is an annoying as rachel.
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289. You know,
Copy !req
290. None of this is going to matter
if they win at sectionals.
Copy !req
291. I'm really sorry
I can't be there.
Copy !req
292. Yeah, I wanted to talk
to you about that.
Copy !req
293. I-I kind of think ken
scheduled your wedding
Copy !req
294. The same day on purpose.
Copy !req
295. You know,
Copy !req
296. So... So you couldn't go.
Copy !req
297. Why would he do that?
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298. Come on.
Copy !req
299. We both know how he feels
about our... Relationship.
Copy !req
300. I'm marrying ken, will.
Copy !req
301. Look, I know
that I've...
Copy !req
302. I've definitely given him
reason in the past
Copy !req
303. To be jealous,
but I need you to know
Copy !req
304. That I'm done with that now.
Copy !req
305. Ken has a lot
of flaws.
Copy !req
306. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday,
but, you know what,
Copy !req
307. He is not vindictive.
Copy !req
308. He's actually
a very good man.
Copy !req
309. He is kind and he's great with
the students here at mckinley.
Copy !req
310. We have that in common.
Copy !req
311. And yes, it's true, his hygiene
could be a lot better,
Copy !req
312. But he is absolutely
full of compassion
Copy !req
313. And... Well, that is why
I'm marrying him.
Copy !req
314. You're right.
Copy !req
315. I was out of line.
Copy !req
316. It won't happen again.
Copy !req
317. You wanted
to see me, mr. Shue?
Copy !req
318. Oh, yeah, rach.
Copy !req
319. Sit down.
Copy !req
320. So, how's the new
captaincy going?
Copy !req
321. I think that my
unanimous election
Copy !req
322. Gave me a very strong
mandate to shake things up.
Copy !req
323. Great. Well,
Copy !req
324. I have a job for you, captain.
Copy !req
325. We need a co-captain.
Copy !req
326. You have so many
great ideas,
Copy !req
327. No reason you shouldn't
have some help
Copy !req
328. Pushing them through.
Copy !req
329. I could use a trusty lieutenant.
Copy !req
330. I do have over 65 proposals.
Copy !req
331. So, can I count on you?
Copy !req
332. No problem.
Copy !req
333. I'm on it.
Copy !req
334. Um, I can't be co-captain.
No time. Kwanza.
Copy !req
335. Kwanza's late
December, mercedes.
Copy !req
336. The photo's
this Thursday.
Copy !req
337. Yeah, prepping early this year.
Copy !req
338. I'd love to be in
the photo, rachel,
Copy !req
339. But you'd be standing
and I'd be sitting
Copy !req
340. And it would throw off
the whole composition.
Copy !req
341. I'll lean over.
Copy !req
342. But if you lean over...
Copy !req
343. It will look like
you have stomach rolls.
Copy !req
344. On second thought,
Copy !req
345. I don't think that you're
leadership material, artie.
Copy !req
346. Follower.
Copy !req
347. Brittany, this is a
once in a lifetime opportunity.
Copy !req
348. No way.
Why not?
Copy !req
349. Because I don't want to be
in a picture with you.
Copy !req
350. It'll get defaced.
Copy !req
351. No, it won't.
Yes, it will.
Copy !req
352. I'll be the one doing it.
Copy !req
353. I'm desperate.
Copy !req
354. Glee club needs you, finn.
Copy !req
355. I'm totally honored
you asked me,
Copy !req
356. But don't you think you should
pick somebody
Copy !req
357. Who, like, cares more?
Copy !req
358. Not that I don't,
Copy !req
359. But I just have football
and friends and stuff.
Copy !req
360. Glee club only started working
after you joined.
Copy !req
361. Face it, we wouldn't have
all of the cheerleaders
Copy !req
362. And football players
in the club
Copy !req
363. If it wasn't for you.
Copy !req
364. You know I love glee club.
Copy !req
365. I just don't know why
I have to represent it.
Copy !req
366. Because you're
a leader, finn.
Copy !req
367. And that's what
leaders do.
Copy !req
368. They stick their necks out
for people that they care about.
Copy !req
369. There are stakes here.
Copy !req
370. Morale is low, you know it.
Copy !req
371. If things don't change,
Copy !req
372. We're not even going
to place at sectionals.
Copy !req
373. And then the club is over.
Copy !req
374. I can't do this alone.
Copy !req
375. You don't have to.
Copy !req
376. I am a leader.
Copy !req
377. That's who I am,
who I want to be.
Copy !req
378. You got yourself a co-captain.
Copy !req
379. I'll do the picture with you.
Copy !req
380. I totally understand that
as captain of the football team,
Copy !req
381. You've worked really hard
to project an appearance
Copy !req
382. Of steely toughness, but
glee club is different.
Copy !req
383. We have to present
the appearance
Copy !req
384. Of positivity and optimism.
Copy !req
385. So... We're gonna practice,
Copy !req
386. And I'm going to teach you
Copy !req
387. How to smile correctly
for your photo.
Copy !req
388. What the hell?
Copy !req
389. Hey, man, shh, we're practicing,
dude. Chill out.
Copy !req
390. We heard you're going to be
in the glee club photo,
Copy !req
391. And we don't want to
mess up messing it up.
Copy !req
392. Screw you, karofsky!
Copy !req
393. I'm sick of you
pulling people down.
Copy !req
394. Hey, man, don't talk
that kum-bah-yay-yah crap.
Copy !req
395. All right, you know
the system's put in place
Copy !req
396. To keep order around here.
Copy !req
397. You know what, I'm gonna
give you some options, okay?
Copy !req
398. Do you want me to put
the hitler mustache
Copy !req
399. On your glee club picture,
or you want the buck teeth
Copy !req
400. On your glee club picture?
Which one do you want?
Copy !req
401. It don't matter to me
either way.
Copy !req
402. I'll put...
(grunts)
Copy !req
403. Hey, how do you
spell "loser"?
Copy !req
404. I'm gonna write it
on his forehead.
Copy !req
405. His big ol' potato head.
Copy !req
406. You could write a whole haiku
on that thing.
Copy !req
407. Can we shake a leg here?
Copy !req
408. Fine.
Copy !req
409. I'm ready.
Copy !req
410. I'll... Do it myself.
Copy !req
411. (shutter clicks)
wait, I...
Copy !req
412. I insist on only being shot
from my left side.
Copy !req
413. Yeah, I kind of need
to see your teeth.
Copy !req
414. It's sort of my job here.
Copy !req
415. I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm upset.
Copy !req
416. My co-captain bailed
and it just...
Copy !req
417. I'm sorry, I just need a minute.
Copy !req
418. Snap out of this.
Copy !req
419. Stop being defined by what
other people think of you,
Copy !req
420. Or how they disappoint you.
Copy !req
421. It's lonely at the top,
you know that.
Copy !req
422. What's that song
about overcoming
Copy !req
423. Professional and personal
disappointments?
Copy !req
424. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
425. I'm ready.
Copy !req
426. Great.
Copy !req
427. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
428. That-that's it?
Copy !req
429. I practiced over
18 different poses
Copy !req
430. For this shoot, and I haven't
even shown you
Copy !req
431. Any of my over
the left shoulder pose. See?
Copy !req
432. Sorry, kid, I got to blow.
Copy !req
433. I got a casting session
in half an hour.
Copy !req
434. A... A casting session for what?
Copy !req
435. My brother-in-law is shooting
a commercial for his store.
Copy !req
436. I'm directing it.
Copy !req
437. I just do these school
photos for the money.
Copy !req
438. Uh, uh, okay.
Copy !req
439. Wait, no, don't...
Copy !req
440. I can take a couple more
pictures for you.
Copy !req
441. I can cry on demand.
Copy !req
442. It's one
of my many talents.
Copy !req
443. I'm very versatile,
Copy !req
444. And aside from nudity
and the exploitation of animals,
Copy !req
445. I'll pretty much do anything
to break into the business.
Copy !req
446. We-well, you certainly
seem talented and all,
Copy !req
447. But I need...
Copy !req
448. There's other speaking
parts in this thing.
Copy !req
449. I need, like, a bunch
of other actors, too.
Copy !req
450. I can help with that.
Copy !req
451. I'd like to call
this meeting to order.
Copy !req
452. Oh, hello, finn.
Copy !req
453. How nice of you to show.
Copy !req
454. Look, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
455. The guys
were harassing me
Copy !req
456. In the locker
room about it.
Copy !req
457. They said that if I took
the glee club photo,
Copy !req
458. That they'd make me choose
between an hitler mustache
Copy !req
459. Or buck teeth, and I can't
rock either of those looks.
Copy !req
460. Do you think I have
a potato head?
Copy !req
461. Okay, look, I realize now
Copy !req
462. That all of you think that
glee club is just a joke.
Copy !req
463. Okay, and you're convinced
Copy !req
464. That we can't win, and you're
content to just sit idle by
Copy !req
465. Until figgins cancels the club.
Copy !req
466. Well,
Copy !req
467. I'm about to present to you
a rare opportunity.
Copy !req
468. The opportunity
to become stars.
Copy !req
469. How?
Copy !req
470. We've all been cast
in a local commercial.
Copy !req
471. Are you serious?
Yes, finn,
Copy !req
472. And while
all of you have been
Copy !req
473. So concerned with your
appearance in this school,
Copy !req
474. I've landed glee club
its first big break.
Copy !req
475. Simply put,
Copy !req
476. Making us all celebrities.
Copy !req
477. Okay, and no one
Copy !req
478. Messes with celebrities
or defaces their pictures.
Copy !req
479. What's the commercial?
Copy !req
480. Hold on to your hats
and get ready to sell...
Copy !req
481. Some mattresses!
Copy !req
482. I'm getting a nice pair
of black suspenders.
Copy !req
483. Simple black.
Copy !req
484. My mom's going
to be really proud.
Copy !req
485. Let's do our camera face.
Copy !req
486. I can't believe we're finally
breaking into the biz!
Copy !req
487. You guys, I want us to always
remember this moment.
Copy !req
488. Soon, there may be agents
and managers and movie deals,
Copy !req
489. But right now I want us
to remember what it feels like
Copy !req
490. To be here
together as a team.
Copy !req
491. Whatever. Soon as I get
my record deal,
Copy !req
492. I'm not speaking
to any of you.
Copy !req
493. Okay, guys, we're very excited
to have you here.
Copy !req
494. We here at mattress land
believe that mattresses
Copy !req
495. Aren't just for sleeping
and fornicating anymore.
Copy !req
496. We believe that buying
an affordable mattress
Copy !req
497. Should be fun.
Copy !req
498. All right,
let's go over the script.
Copy !req
499. I think it's pretty brilliant.
Copy !req
500. I wrote it myself.
Action!
Copy !req
501. (clears throat)
"ah, me."
Copy !req
502. "what's wrong?"
Copy !req
503. "we just lost our jobs...
Copy !req
504. "at the factory,
Copy !req
505. And we can't get
a good night's sleep."
Copy !req
506. "chipper up!
Copy !req
507. "come on down to mattress land.
Copy !req
508. "we've got near-wholesale prices
Copy !req
509. To fit your style
and pocketbook."
Copy !req
510. I-I'm sorry.
Mr. Cusperberg.
Copy !req
511. This script is brilliant,
Copy !req
512. But we're a glee club,
and we should perform.
Copy !req
513. Perform the lines
as I wrote them.
Copy !req
514. Wait a minute, dennis.
Copy !req
515. What did you
have in mind?
Copy !req
516. Come on down
to mattress land!
Copy !req
517. Come on down to mattress land!
Copy !req
518. Uh...
Copy !req
519. Terri, have you seen
my pocket square?
Copy !req
520. Terri?
Copy !req
521. Terri?
Copy !req
522. A pocket square's
gonna make you look
like ted knight.
Copy !req
523. What is this?
Copy !req
524. It's a pregnancy pad.
Copy !req
525. They have them at the maternity
stores for trying on clothes
Copy !req
526. So you can see how you're gonna
look when you're showing.
Copy !req
527. Kendra stole it for me
so I could see
Copy !req
528. If any of her old
clothes would fit...
Copy !req
529. Pick up your shirt.
Copy !req
530. What?
Copy !req
531. No.
Copy !req
532. Pick up your shirt.
Copy !req
533. You're scaring me, will.
Copy !req
534. Think about what
you're accusing me of.
Copy !req
535. Think about it and turn around
and go find your pocket square.
Copy !req
536. Please?
Copy !req
537. Why did you do this to us?
Copy !req
538. I don't understand!
Copy !req
539. I thought
you were leaving me.
Copy !req
540. You're so different, will.
Copy !req
541. We both know it.
I can feel you.
Copy !req
542. You're pulling away from me.
Copy !req
543. Why, because I-I've started
standing up to you?
Copy !req
544. Trying to make this
a relationship of equals?
Copy !req
545. No, because of the damn
glee club.
Copy !req
546. Ever since
you started it,
Copy !req
547. You just walk around
Copy !req
548. Like you're better than me!
Copy !req
549. I should be allowed
to feel good about myself!
Copy !req
550. Who are we kidding, will?
Copy !req
551. This marriage works because
Copy !req
552. You don't feel good
about yourself.
Copy !req
553. This marriage works
because I love you,
Copy !req
554. Because I've always
accepted you, good and bad.
Copy !req
555. You loved the girl you met
when you were 15.
Copy !req
556. I'm not that girl.
Copy !req
557. You've made yourself
a stranger to me now.
Copy !req
558. Are you happy?
Are you satisfied?
Copy !req
559. It didn't start as a lie.
Copy !req
560. I really thought I was pregnant.
Copy !req
561. And then the doctor,
Copy !req
562. He said it was a hysterical
pregnancy, and I...
Copy !req
563. I just panicked!
Copy !req
564. This is insane.
Copy !req
565. What were you gonna do
when the due date came?
Copy !req
566. Quinn fabray.
Copy !req
567. It was so perfect.
Copy !req
568. She didn't want hers,
and I needed one.
Copy !req
569. I had the doctor use her
ultrasound dvd
Copy !req
570. At your appointment
that you came to.
Copy !req
571. I loved you, terri.
Copy !req
572. I really loved you.
Copy !req
573. I'm so sorry, will.
Copy !req
574. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
575. Do you remember
at that appointment?
Copy !req
576. Do you remember what we said?
Copy !req
577. That at that moment,
no matter what happened,
Copy !req
578. We loved each other.
Copy !req
579. We could get that
feeling back again.
Copy !req
580. You could love me
back, will!
Copy !req
581. Please, will!
Please, don't go!
Copy !req
582. Please, don't go!
Please?
Copy !req
583. Oh, god.
Copy !req
584. Am I asking for too much,
Copy !req
585. Ohio board of statewide
holiday planning?
Copy !req
586. All I want is just one day
a year
Copy !req
587. Where I'm not visually assaulted
by uglies and fatties.
Copy !req
588. Seriously, ohio,
these retinas need a day off.
Copy !req
589. So here's the dream:
Copy !req
590. Friday after christmas—
which I have off—
Copy !req
591. If you're hideous, stay at home.
Copy !req
592. Spend the entire day watching
home videos of a time
Copy !req
593. When you weren't
too repulsive for me
Copy !req
594. To ever want to look at.
Copy !req
595. And that's how sue sees it.
Copy !req
596. Rod.
Copy !req
597. Slammin', sue.
Copy !req
598. We'll be right back.
Copy !req
599. Hey, andrea, that
"sue's corner" I just did,
Copy !req
600. Was talking about you.
Copy !req
601. Who says finding a mattress
can't be fun?
Copy !req
602. At mattress land,
Copy !req
603. We have mattresses of all shapes
and sizes
Copy !req
604. At prices that won't break
your pocketbook.
Copy !req
605. No credit? No problem!
Copy !req
606. Mattress land has
a no-hassle financing
Copy !req
607. Of 12.9% with no money down
and no payments till next year.
Copy !req
608. You'll jump for joy
at our prices.
Copy !req
609. Come on down to mattress land!
Copy !req
610. Coach sylvester,
we need to talk.
Copy !req
611. Oh, I got nothing to say
to you, prego.
Copy !req
612. The cheerios' photo's tomorrow,
and I want back on that squad.
Copy !req
613. Oh, is that what you want?
Copy !req
614. Well, what I wanted was a head
cheerleader who wasn't going
Copy !req
615. To hoist her legs behind her
ears in the backseat
Copy !req
616. Of the first station wagon
she could jimmy open,
Copy !req
617. Throwing away any chance
she ever had in life.
Copy !req
618. It would be good
for the school.
Copy !req
619. Show everyone that
appearances don't matter.
Copy !req
620. That sometimes people have to
deal with a little adversity.
Copy !req
621. I learned that
in glee club.
Copy !req
622. Well, that little educational
proverb must have slithered
Copy !req
623. From will schuester's mouth
right after his lesson
Copy !req
624. On how to disqualify yourselves
from sectionals.
Copy !req
625. What?
Copy !req
626. Saw your little commercial
last night.
Copy !req
627. Boy, did you glee kids
step in it.
Copy !req
628. Shue, I'm afraid sue is right.
Copy !req
629. You have indeed stepped in it.
Copy !req
630. No, I didn't even know
this was going on.
Copy !req
631. Of course, you didn't, william.
Copy !req
632. You wouldn't know if your glee
club was using your office
Copy !req
633. To breed rabbits for pets
or for food. And you know why?
Copy !req
634. You're too busy chasing tail
and loading your hair
Copy !req
635. With enormous amounts
of product!
Copy !req
636. I mean, today it just looks
like you put lard in it.
Copy !req
637. What are you
even talking about?
Copy !req
638. Look, look,
the kids did the commercial
Copy !req
639. To foster a feeling of unity
after you—
Copy !req
640. Not anyone else— you got them
banned from the yearbook.
Copy !req
641. That's what I did,
yes, I admit it.
Copy !req
642. It was an innocent mistake.
Copy !req
643. And what if I were to just
innocently murder you, will?
Copy !req
644. I'd still have
to go to trial.
Copy !req
645. Probably get off with
justifiable homicide.
Copy !req
646. Let me review the
rules for you.
Copy !req
647. William, amendment 63,
seventh addendum:
Copy !req
648. "no professional activity of
any kind will be tolerated,
Copy !req
649. "and payment for services
rendered negates amateur status,
Copy !req
650. Triggering immediate
disqualification."
Copy !req
651. Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, keep it civil.
Copy !req
652. Hey, what, mister?
Copy !req
653. No, keep it
simple, folks!
Copy !req
654. Keep it simple.
Copy !req
655. Hey, I'm sorry, shue,
Copy !req
656. But I cannot let this slide.
Copy !req
657. But the kids
weren't even paid!
Copy !req
658. There's a stack of
mattresses in the choir room
Copy !req
659. Piled as high as the
empty hair gel bottles
Copy !req
660. In the dumpster
outside your apartment!
Copy !req
661. Okay, we'll give
the mattresses back.
Copy !req
662. Shue, one of those
mattresses was used.
Copy !req
663. You can't return
a used mattress.
Copy !req
664. You can't even
donate one to charity.
Copy !req
665. Lice, bedbugs—
I looked it up online!
Copy !req
666. Is there any reason
that you have
Copy !req
667. A soiled mattress
in your office, will?
Copy !req
668. Have you and the redhead
become so sexually depraved
Copy !req
669. That you have to commit
your craven acts of adultery
Copy !req
670. In between classes?
Copy !req
671. What?
Copy !req
672. You know what, okay, fine.
Copy !req
673. I slept here, all right?
Copy !req
674. Excuse me?
Copy !req
675. I'm thinking about
leaving my wife.
Copy !req
676. Well, I didn't see
that one coming at all.
Copy !req
677. William, I am very sorry
about your personal troubles
Copy !req
678. But my hands are tied.
Copy !req
679. Sue's right—
you broke the rules.
Copy !req
680. I cannot fight
the scholastic board.
Copy !req
681. I'm sorry but glee club is over.
Copy !req
682. It's over!
Copy !req
683. "dear journal,
Copy !req
684. "I've finally gotten
will schuester
Copy !req
685. "and that glee club
out of my hair.
Copy !req
686. "this is a day
that will live in infamy.
Copy !req
687. Once again, I've won."
Copy !req
688. Miss sylvester.
Copy !req
689. It's like looking at
a porno star in a nun's habit.
Copy !req
690. I wanted to show you
that it still fits.
Copy !req
691. My baby bump isn't that bad,
Copy !req
692. It's just like
I had a big lunch.
Copy !req
693. Take it off.
Copy !req
694. You need to get it
through your pregnant head,
Copy !req
695. There's no way
you're getting in that photo
Copy !req
696. Or back on the cheerios.
Copy !req
697. End of story.
Copy !req
698. You're a hypocrite.
Excuse me?
Copy !req
699. I just heard that
you got glee club's
Copy !req
700. Amateur status revoked
over a mattress.
Copy !req
701. While you are constantly
Copy !req
702. Showering the cheerios
with swag.
Copy !req
703. I've gotten free shoes,
Copy !req
704. Complimentary tanning,
haircuts.
Copy !req
705. The season tickets
to cedar point—
Copy !req
706. We sold those on ebay.
Copy !req
707. For a profit.
Copy !req
708. It seems to me that
if figgins found out,
Copy !req
709. You would get banned
from competition.
Copy !req
710. Fine.
Copy !req
711. You're back on the cheerios.
Copy !req
712. I'll put you on full-time
dry cleaning duty
Copy !req
713. And shove you to the back
of the photo to hide your shame.
Copy !req
714. I'm not finished.
Copy !req
715. Glee club gets
a full page photo.
Copy !req
716. That's not up to me.
Copy !req
717. You are giving up one
of the cheerios' six pages
Copy !req
718. And you are giving it to
the glee club free of charge.
Copy !req
719. You know, q, I'd forgotten
Copy !req
720. Just how ruthless
you really are.
Copy !req
721. You're like a young
sue sylvester.
Copy !req
722. Now, get out of my office.
Copy !req
723. If you can manage to
squeeze through the door
Copy !req
724. Without your water breaking
all over my new carpet.
Copy !req
725. You know what?
Copy !req
726. I don't think I want to be
a cheerio after all.
Copy !req
727. I don't want to be on a team
where I only appear to belong.
Copy !req
728. I'd rather be a part of
a club that's proud to have me
Copy !req
729. Like glee club.
Copy !req
730. (sighing):
It's my fault.
Copy !req
731. If I hadn't slept
on that mattress,
Copy !req
732. We could've just returned
them and moved on.
Copy !req
733. Hey, can I give you some advice?
Copy !req
734. Please.
Copy !req
735. You need to give yourself
a break.
Copy !req
736. (scoffs)
you do.
Copy !req
737. You'll figure out what to do
with the kids, you always do.
Copy !req
738. But I think right now
Copy !req
739. You really need to focus
on your own life.
Copy !req
740. You know, divorce
is a really big deal.
Copy !req
741. Who said anything
about getting a divorce?
Copy !req
742. Oh, god, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
743. I just assumed
Copy !req
744. That that's...
Copy !req
745. Is that what you would do?
Copy !req
746. Well, um...
Copy !req
747. When I first heard about
Copy !req
748. What terri had done,
Copy !req
749. Oh, gosh, no, I thought there
should be some sort of law.
Copy !req
750. But then when I thought
Copy !req
751. About it some more,
Copy !req
752. Thought about
what I would've done
Copy !req
753. If I'd felt you slipping away...
Copy !req
754. You would never be that cruel.
Copy !req
755. No, her methods were wrong,
but, um,
Copy !req
756. I totally understand
her intentions.
Copy !req
757. You're a lot to lose, will.
Copy !req
758. But we don't want to go
to sectionals without you.
Copy !req
759. It's without me or not at all.
Copy !req
760. Look, I was the one
who slept on the mattress,
Copy !req
761. Which means I accepted them,
not you.
Copy !req
762. Which means I'm disqualified
from competition,
Copy !req
763. Not you guys.
Copy !req
764. He's taking the
bullet for us.
Copy !req
765. Solid.
Copy !req
766. (sighing):
We have worked too hard
Copy !req
767. For you guys
not to get your shot.
Copy !req
768. We can't do this without you,
mr. Shue.
Copy !req
769. Hell, we probably
can't do it with you.
Copy !req
770. That's not true.
Copy !req
771. You guys are good.
Copy !req
772. You're really good.
Copy !req
773. You did "jump" for that
commercial without me, right?
Copy !req
774. Look, the best teachers
don't give you the answers.
Copy !req
775. They just point the way and
let you make your own choices.
Copy !req
776. Your own mistakes.
Copy !req
777. That way you get all the glory.
Copy !req
778. And you deserve it.
Copy !req
779. Look, if... If you can't win
without me there,
Copy !req
780. Then I haven't done my job.
Copy !req
781. We're really
sorry, mr. Shue.
Copy !req
782. I know.
Copy !req
783. I want you guys
to go get gussied up
Copy !req
784. And take that glee club photo
with pride.
Copy !req
785. I want to see a smile
on every one of your faces.
Copy !req