1. So here's what you missed last week...Copy !req
2. Quinn's parents found out she's pregnant..Copy !req
3. because Finn told them in song...Copy !req
4. We didn't even have sex.Copy !req
5. So they kicked her out
and now she's living at Finn's house...Copy !req
6. and everyone thinks Finn's the father...Copy !req
7. but really its Puck.Copy !req
8. I don't care if that baby
comes out with a mohawk...Copy !req
9. I will go to my grave
swearing it's Finn's.Copy !req
10. And that's what you missed
on... ~~ glee. ~~Copy !req
11. Hey, fella.Copy !req
12. So unless my recent write-up
here in Splits magazineCopy !req
13. Naming me cheerleading coach of
the decade has me drivenCopy !req
14. Completely insane,
I'm pretty sure you and ICopy !req
15. Had an agreement that you
were going to show meCopy !req
16. Your glee club set list
for sectionals.Copy !req
17. Sorry, Sue. I didn't think
you were all that interestedCopy !req
18. In glee club anymore.
Not interested?Copy !req
19. Well, I'm the fine arts
administrator or something.Copy !req
20. Um... Well, I will make sure
you get a copy.Copy !req
21. That'd be fantastic.Copy !req
22. I'd hate to have to go
to Figgins about this.Copy !req
23. - Hey, Will.
- Yes?Copy !req
24. I'd like my magazine
back, please.Copy !req
25. Thank you.Copy !req
26. Here's the problem
with Sue Sylvester:Copy !req
27. You never quite know
where you stand.Copy !req
28. I knew she was up to something.Copy !req
29. Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
30. Step ball change,
step, step,Copy !req
31. Unh and seven, eight.Copy !req
32. Step ball change,
step, step, unh,Copy !req
33. You guys go.
Step ball...Copy !req
34. Brittany?Copy !req
35. Coach Sylvester
didn't tell me to do this.Copy !req
36. It kept getting worse.Copy !req
37. Hey there, pal.
Would you remind
me once againCopy !req
38. The names of the schools
you'll be competing against
at sectionals?Copy !req
39. Jane Addams academy and
Haverbrook school for the deaf.Copy !req
40. Got it. What are
their zip codes?Copy !req
41. She's leaking our competitive
set list to the other schools.Copy !req
42. If the other glee clubs get
set lists and videos,Copy !req
43. They'll know exactly
how to beat us at sectionals.Copy !req
44. Well first, don't let
sue distract you, all right?Copy !req
45. And if you can't take
Mohammad to the mountain,Copy !req
46. Then you got to get Mohammad
to bring the mountainCopy !req
47. Down to his house.Copy !req
48. Mohammad's house,
wherever he's staying.Copy !req
49. I don't understand.
Look, you should driveCopy !req
50. Over to Jane Addams academyCopy !req
51. And ask the director
point-blank.Copy !req
52. If something's going on,
you'll know.Copy !req
53. Hmm.Copy !req
54. All right. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
55. You're a good kid, Aphasia.Copy !req
56. Why did you try to rob a bank?Copy !req
57. Because, Ms. Hitchens,Copy !req
58. That's where they keep
the money.Copy !req
59. Go back to class.Copy !req
60. Uh, hi, Ms. Hitchens.Copy !req
61. I'm Will Schuester
from Mckinley high.Copy !req
62. Aphasia! Give Mr. Schuester
his wallet back.Copy !req
63. Wow, she's... She's good.Copy !req
64. Um...Copy !req
65. Thank you.
Thank you for seeing me.Copy !req
66. We don't get a lot of other
educators paying us visits.Copy !req
67. Right. Um...Copy !req
68. Well, the reason
I'm hereCopy !req
69. Is... A little weird.Copy !req
70. So I guess the best thingCopy !req
71. For me to do is just
come right out with it.Copy !req
72. I think our cheerleading coachCopy !req
73. Has been passing along
our set list for sectionalsCopy !req
74. To you.
What kind of messed up school
are you people running?Copy !req
75. You think that
because our students areCopy !req
76. Thieves and arsonists,
that we're cheaters, too.Copy !req
77. No, no, no, no, I...Copy !req
78. It's not that you,
it's, it's Sue.Copy !req
79. Do you know that
we don't have costumes?Copy !req
80. Or even an auditorium.Copy !req
81. Our show choir has to practice
out in the rec yard.Copy !req
82. This is Ohio.
We have weather.Copy !req
83. You don't have to tell me about
underfunding for the arts.Copy !req
84. Look, all I know is
that our choir seems to beCopy !req
85. The only thing that keeps
my girls from recidivism.Copy !req
86. It makes them feel good
about themselves.Copy !req
87. I'm not going to cheat
and risk that just so
we can get a leg upCopy !req
88. On your school
of privileged misfits.Copy !req
89. Especially from what I hear.Copy !req
90. We're probably
going to take you anyway.Copy !req
91. Really? And who'd
you hear that from?Copy !req
92. I had my spies
at your invitational.Copy !req
93. Want some coffee?Copy !req
94. Please.Copy !req
95. I'm, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
96. I didn't mean
to offend you.Copy !req
97. Let me make it up to you.Copy !req
98. You guys don't have
an auditorium, come use ours.Copy !req
99. Yeah, let's have a little, uh,
scrimmage at our place.Copy !req
100. Okay, guys, so first of allCopy !req
101. I want to welcome Ms. Hitchens
and the Jane Addams glee club.Copy !req
102. We're all very happy
to have you guys here.Copy !req
103. So, um, we're going to let
you guys start us off.Copy !req
104. Let's see what you got.Copy !req
105. Hit it.Copy !req
106. ~~ Jayelle,
can you handle this? ~~Copy !req
107. ~~ Shadonda ~~Copy !req
108. ~~ can you handle this? ~~Copy !req
109. ~~ Aphasia, can you
handle this? ~~Copy !req
110. ~~ I don't think
they can handle this ~~Copy !req
111. ~~ better move
'cause we've arrived ~~Copy !req
112. ~~ lookin' sexy,
lookin' fly ~~Copy !req
113. ~~ baddest chicks,
chicks inside ~~Copy !req
114. ~~ deejay, jam tonight ~~Copy !req
115. ~~ spotted me, a tender thang ~~Copy !req
116. ~~ there you are,
come on, baby ~~Copy !req
117. ~~ don't you wanna
dance with me? ~~Copy !req
118. ~~ can you handle,
handle me? ~~Copy !req
119. ~~ lookin' hot, smellin' good ~~Copy !req
120. ~~ groovin' like
I'm from the hood ~~Copy !req
121. ~~ over my shoulder
I'll blow you a kiss ~~Copy !req
122. ~~ can you handle,
handle this? ~~Copy !req
123. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this jelly ~~Copy !req
124. ~~ I don't think
you're ready for this jelly ~~Copy !req
125. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this ~~Copy !req
126. ~~ 'cause my body's too
bootylicious for ya, babe ~~Copy !req
127. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this jelly ~~Copy !req
128. ~~ I don't think
you're ready for this jelly ~~Copy !req
129. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this ~~Copy !req
130. ~~ 'cause my body's too
bootylicious for ya, babe ~~Copy !req
131. ~~ move your body up and down ~~
~~ ooh ~~Copy !req
132. ~~ make your booty
touch the ground ~~Copy !req
133. ~~ ooh ~~
~~ I can't help but wonder why ~~Copy !req
134. ~~ is my vibe too vibe-alicious
for ya, babe? ~~Copy !req
135. ~~ I shake my jelly
at every chance ~~Copy !req
136. ~~ when I whip with my hips
you slip into a trance ~~Copy !req
137. ~~ I'm hoping you can handle
all this jelly that I have ~~Copy !req
138. ~~ now let's cut a rug
while we scat some jazz ~~Copy !req
139. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this jelly ~~Copy !req
140. ~~ I don't think
you're ready for this jelly ~~Copy !req
141. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this, 'cause my body's ~~Copy !req
142. ~~ too bootylicious for you,
babe ~~Copy !req
143. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this jelly ~~Copy !req
144. ~~ I don't think
you're ready for this jelly ~~Copy !req
145. ~~ I don't think you're ready
for this 'cause my ~~Copy !req
146. ~~ body's too bootylicious
for you, babe ~~Copy !req
147. ~~ I don't think you're ready ~~Copy !req
148. ~~ for this jelly I don't think
you're ready ~~Copy !req
149. ~~ for this jelly
I don't think you're ready ~~Copy !req
150. ~~ for this 'cause my body's too
bootylicious for you, babe. ~~Copy !req
151. Yeah.Copy !req
152. Mr. Shue, you
seem concerned.Copy !req
153. What? No.Copy !req
154. I mean, they were great,
but we're just as good.Copy !req
155. Mr. Shue, if I may.Copy !req
156. What they were doing was
just all smoke and mirrors.Copy !req
157. It's called "Hairography."Copy !req
158. What?
Hairography.Copy !req
159. All the whizzing of
their hair aroundCopy !req
160. Just to distract from
the fact that they're
not really good dancers.Copy !req
161. And their vocals
were just so-so.Copy !req
162. Trust me.Copy !req
163. We've nothing
to be afraid of.Copy !req
164. All right, guys.Copy !req
165. I did some thinking
last night.Copy !req
166. I think I found our new number
for sectionals.Copy !req
167. We're going to do
the title song from Hair.Copy !req
168. Now, this show
started a revolution.Copy !req
169. Wait, did they have
mohawks back then?Copy !req
170. Like in the 20's
or whatever?Copy !req
171. Yeah, Mr. Shue,
if we're going to doCopy !req
172. A song about hair,Copy !req
173. Shouldn't we have more hair?Copy !req
174. One step ahead of you.Copy !req
175. Here are your wigs.Copy !req
176. Mr. Schuester?
Yeah?Copy !req
177. What are you doing?Copy !req
178. We are fine where we are.Copy !req
179. We don't need
Hairography.Copy !req
180. It's just a distraction.Copy !req
181. Look, I have to be honest.Copy !req
182. Those Jane Addams girls
did freak me out a little.Copy !req
183. And I'm worried
about our chances
for sectionals.Copy !req
184. I mean, we have to pull out all
the stops if we want to win.Copy !req
185. Looking great, guys!Copy !req
186. Saw it in a bookstore.Copy !req
187. Figured I'd steal
it for you.Copy !req
188. You know, in case
you change your mindCopy !req
189. And decide you
want to keep it.Copy !req
190. That is so sweet.Copy !req
191. To be honest,Copy !req
192. I really don't know
what I'm going to doCopy !req
193. About it anymore.Copy !req
194. My mind's pretty messed up
about everything.Copy !req
195. Well, whatever you decide.Copy !req
196. No pressure.Copy !req
197. Okay.Copy !req
198. Thank god for Puck.Copy !req
199. Thanks to him,
I'm starting to realizeCopy !req
200. That what I need right now,
even more than looser pants,Copy !req
201. Is acceptance.Copy !req
202. Everyone is putting
so much pressure on me.Copy !req
203. It's so easy for them
to be distracted.Copy !req
204. I don't have that luxury.Copy !req
205. I am under siege.Copy !req
206. You don't drink
diet soda, do you?Copy !req
207. Because the phosphoric acid
causes male pattern baldness.Copy !req
208. The baby's a girl.Copy !req
209. Women go bald, too.Copy !req
210. You worry too much, terri.Copy !req
211. Mom smoked and drankCopy !req
212. A bottle of riunitl on iceCopy !req
213. Every night when she
was pregnant with usCopy !req
214. And we're totally normal.Copy !req
215. Just take
your vitamins,Copy !req
216. Stay out
of the hot tub,Copy !req
217. And avoid rum-based drinks,Copy !req
218. And you'll be fine.Copy !req
219. Maybe the problem isn't that I
don't want to keep the baby.Copy !req
220. The problem is thatCopy !req
221. I don't want to keep
the baby with Finn.Copy !req
222. Maybe I didn't give Puck
enough of a chance.Copy !req
223. He is the real dad, after all.Copy !req
224. Finn would freak if I started
spending time with Puck though.Copy !req
225. I need to distract him
so that I can take PuckCopy !req
226. For a test drive.Copy !req
227. But how?Copy !req
228. Mm, forget about it.Copy !req
229. She looks like a five year old.Copy !req
230. Still, maybe
with a little bit of makeup...Copy !req
231. Hey, Kurt, can I pick your
pink brain for a second?Copy !req
232. Why hello, Quinn.Copy !req
233. To what do I
owe the honor?Copy !req
234. I do believe this
is the first time
you've ever spoken to me.Copy !req
235. I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
236. Anyways, I have a
proposition to make:Copy !req
237. A makeover.
I'm in!Copy !req
238. Makeovers are like
crack to me.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
239. My suggestion... Spanx.Copy !req
240. Or a double-knit camisoleCopy !req
241. With a control top
for the baby bump.Copy !req
242. Also, babydoll dresses—
dead giveaway.Copy !req
243. Not for me, for Rachel.Copy !req
244. Why would I want to do that?Copy !req
245. I admit I likeCopy !req
246. A challenge as much
as the next guy,Copy !req
247. But Rachel somehow
manages to dressCopy !req
248. Like a grandmother and a toddler
at the same time.Copy !req
249. My point exactly.Copy !req
250. You're as concerned
about the glee club succeedingCopy !req
251. As I am, and she's
a distraction.Copy !req
252. Look at her.
She's wearing a pantsuit.Copy !req
253. Don't you thinkCopy !req
254. The judges are going
to take one look at herCopy !req
255. And maybe want to knock
her down a peg or two?Copy !req
256. And to think... I thought you
were a dumb blonde.Copy !req
257. Deal.Copy !req
258. Good night.
Good night.Copy !req
259. What are you doing?
I'm trying to be intimateCopy !req
260. With my wife.
No, you're trying to have sex.Copy !req
261. Wh...
Not intimacy.Copy !req
262. If you wanted intimacy, you...Copy !req
263. You would ask me how I'm feeling
about being pregnant.Copy !req
264. You're right.Copy !req
265. I'm sorry.Copy !req
266. Okay.Copy !req
267. It will all be worth it
when she shows up, right?Copy !req
268. Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
269. Love you.
Love you.Copy !req
270. There's no way I can
keep this up.Copy !req
271. He's gonna catch on.Copy !req
272. I miss him, too, though.Copy !req
273. I do want to have
a family with him.Copy !req
274. I only ever started
lying about all of thisCopy !req
275. To give us a chance.Copy !req
276. I just need to buy
myself some more time.Copy !req
277. I've got to distract
him with something.Copy !req
278. But what?Copy !req
279. Ow.Copy !req
280. The key is to never wax
above the eyebrow.Copy !req
281. Always shape from below.Copy !req
282. Trust me, I get
a lot of practice.Copy !req
283. Look at mine.Copy !req
284. Kurt, why did you volunteer
to give me a new look?Copy !req
285. One, I'm a sucker
for makeovers,Copy !req
286. And two, you need something
to distract from your
horrible personality.Copy !req
287. Most of the time, I find
it hard to be in the
same room with you.Copy !req
288. Especially this one.Copy !req
289. Which looks like whereCopy !req
290. Strawberry Shortcake and
Holly Hobbie come to hook up.Copy !req
291. You're extremely
talented, Rachel.Copy !req
292. Watching you perform
is... Amazing.Copy !req
293. But sometimes it's hard
to appreciateCopy !req
294. What a good singer you are
because all I'm thinking aboutCopy !req
295. Is shoving a sock
into your mouth.Copy !req
296. Well, what kind of makeover
did you have in mind?Copy !req
297. We need to broaden
your appeal.Copy !req
298. I want every boy at school
to do a double take
when you strut past.Copy !req
299. There's really only just...Copy !req
300. One boy that I'd
like to impress.Copy !req
301. Can you keep
a secret?Copy !req
302. Of course.Copy !req
303. I'm in love with Finn.Copy !req
304. Really?Copy !req
305. I understand completely.Copy !req
306. Let's move on to makeup.Copy !req
307. I happen to know
for a factCopy !req
308. That Finn is attracted
to loose women.Copy !req
309. What? Quinn is so wholesome.Copy !req
310. Let me put this into
musical theater parlance.Copy !req
311. In Grease, what did Sandy
do to get Danny Zuko?Copy !req
312. She had to ditch
the poodle skirtCopy !req
313. And slap on a cat suit.Copy !req
314. In short, she had
to dress like a ho.Copy !req
315. Maybe if your
look was better,Copy !req
316. More desirable, Finn would be
in your arms right now.Copy !req
317. Instead of Quinn's.Copy !req
318. What's going on, terr?Copy !req
319. Just a couple more
steps, okay?Copy !req
320. All right, stop.Copy !req
321. Is that the blue bomber?Copy !req
322. It is!Copy !req
323. I remember I took you
to prom in this car.Copy !req
324. We did it in
the backseat.Copy !req
325. Well, this isn't
actually your old car.Copy !req
326. I found this one
on ebay.Copy !req
327. You know, I always
regretted selling this car.Copy !req
328. I know. That's why
I got you this one.Copy !req
329. I thought maybe working
on it would be a—Copy !req
330. A distraction from all
the pressure that
you've been under.Copy !req
331. You are the best.Copy !req
332. Honey.
Yeah?Copy !req
333. Um, could you go and
get me a frozen yogurt?Copy !req
334. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
335. Oh, maybe I'll stop
by Pep Boys.Copy !req
336. Maybe they have
some advice.Copy !req
337. That's a good idea.Copy !req
338. Yeah.
Take your time, honey.Copy !req
339. How could you
bring her here?Copy !req
340. What if he saw her?Copy !req
341. You're gonna want
to hear this.Copy !req
342. I gave little miss peroxide
my phone numberCopy !req
343. In case of an emergency,Copy !req
344. And she called
to drop the bomb on me.Copy !req
345. What? What bomb?Copy !req
346. What is it?Copy !req
347. I'm keeping my baby.Copy !req
348. Look, we had no intention
of discriminatingCopy !req
349. Against your glee
club, Mr. Rumba.Copy !req
350. We extended an invitation
to the Jane Addams academyCopy !req
351. To perform,
because we're lucky enoughCopy !req
352. To have better
facilities than they do.Copy !req
353. And you think we don't have
the same problem?Copy !req
354. I run the glee club
at a school for the deaf.Copy !req
355. you think I'm rolling around
in deaf choir money?Copy !req
356. Now sure, my kids
may be deaf,Copy !req
357. But that shouldn't distract
everyone from the factCopy !req
358. That they still haveCopy !req
359. A song in their heart,
and they should haveCopy !req
360. The same chance as
everyone else to express it.Copy !req
361. Now I had scarlet fever
as a kid,Copy !req
362. leaving me deaf in one ear.Copy !req
363. So I remember what it's like
to have full hearing,Copy !req
364. But my poor kids
don't know the difference.Copy !req
365. all they know is that
they love performing.Copy !req
366. And then they have to hear
that Mckinley went and invitedCopy !req
367. Those bad girls to the school.Copy !req
368. that's just not fair.
It's not fair.Copy !req
369. I think your phone's ringing.
What?Copy !req
370. Your phone's ringing.
No, I got it on vibrate.Copy !req
371. All I am saying isCopy !req
372. That it would be niceCopy !req
373. If you went and hosted
another scrimmageCopy !req
374. And had the courtesy
to invite us this time.Copy !req
375. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
376. What's that?Copy !req
377. I said I agree with you.Copy !req
378. Okay, I can't hear you.Copy !req
379. Talk into this ear.
Scarlet fever.Copy !req
380. I'm sorry...
You're on!Copy !req
381. Um, how's Monday?Copy !req
382. No, it has to be Monday.Copy !req
383. Yes! All right!Copy !req
384. Monday!Copy !req
385. I can't wait to see the kids
do their numbers!Copy !req
386. You don't have to make fun of me
with those hand gestures.Copy !req
387. No, I didn't...Copy !req
388. I didn't mean to.Copy !req
389. Let me check with my secretary.Copy !req
390. Oh, damn, four missed calls.Copy !req
391. What's that?Copy !req
392. I didn't say anything.Copy !req
393. Yes, thank you.
I take it black, two sugars.Copy !req
394. Hello.Copy !req
395. Hello?Copy !req
396. I can't do this anymore.Copy !req
397. It's time to tell him.Copy !req
398. Terri?
Yeah, honey?Copy !req
399. Oh, hey, kendra.Copy !req
400. Damn, will.Copy !req
401. You make one sexy grease monkey.Copy !req
402. I am having so much fun.Copy !req
403. Working with my hands,Copy !req
404. Searching for parts
all over town.Copy !req
405. I feel like I'm
in a springsteen song.Copy !req
406. Well, I got to get
some old dish towels—Copy !req
407. Mop up the grime.Copy !req
408. That car is
the perfect distraction.Copy !req
409. I would get something
like that for philCopy !req
410. If I didn't think it
would make him so happy.Copy !req
411. What's the difference?Copy !req
412. He's going to get pretty
damn suspiciousCopy !req
413. When I come home from
the hospital without a baby.Copy !req
414. You need to relax.Copy !req
415. And drink more.Copy !req
416. I have got this
whole thing figured out.Copy !req
417. You do?
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
418. Blondie's due date is right
around spring break.Copy !req
419. You and ICopy !req
420. Are going to have a lady's
week at a spa down in CincclCopy !req
421. That caters to
the prenatal set.Copy !req
422. But, in reality,
we're gonna be camped outCopy !req
423. At wu's office with Quinn until
that high school hussy drops.Copy !req
424. That's a great plan.Copy !req
425. Except for the fact that Quinn
won't give us her baby anymore.Copy !req
426. But she will, dummy.Copy !req
427. We have to distract her with
the reality of her situation.Copy !req
428. How are we going to do that?Copy !req
429. She needs money.Copy !req
430. I'm going to have her
babysit my kids.Copy !req
431. Five minutes alone with
those little mongrelsCopy !req
432. And she'll have her tubes tied.Copy !req
433. You're so smart.Copy !req
434. You got the beauty, but I got
the brains and the beauty.Copy !req
435. Hey, Rachel.Copy !req
436. Oh, hey, Finn.Copy !req
437. I didn't see you there.Copy !req
438. Did you want
to ask me something?Copy !req
439. Uh, yeah, I-I just, I forgot.Copy !req
440. I got distracted.Copy !req
441. Well, I'm glad
I got your attention.Copy !req
442. I wanted to know if you
wanted to come over
on Friday night.Copy !req
443. As someone who's had
long, luxurious locksCopy !req
444. Since I was a toddler
in the pageant circuit,Copy !req
445. I figured
I could give youCopy !req
446. Some tips on our Hair number.Copy !req
447. Yeah, that'd be great.Copy !req
448. Great. How's 8:00?Copy !req
449. 8:00 is terrific.
It's terrific.Copy !req
450. Objective achieved.Copy !req
451. Commence phase two.Copy !req
452. Hey, Quinn.Copy !req
453. I, uh, wanted to ask
your permissionCopy !req
454. To maybe do something
on Friday night, if...Copy !req
455. Oh, that's fine.Copy !req
456. I'm babysitting anyways.Copy !req
457. Oh, cool.Copy !req
458. I'll see ya.Copy !req
459. Hey,Copy !req
460. What are you doing
on Friday?Copy !req
461. Just the usual.Copy !req
462. Was going to stand outside
the 7-eleven looking depressedCopy !req
463. Until someone offered
to buy me beer,Copy !req
464. But what's going on?Copy !req
465. You want to maybe
babysit with me?Copy !req
466. Some of you,
particularly the guys,Copy !req
467. Have come up to me
with some questions
about Hairography.Copy !req
468. One of our own has volunteered
to walk us through it.Copy !req
469. She has got it down.Copy !req
470. Brittany,
take it away.Copy !req
471. Take what away?Copy !req
472. Show us what you got.Copy !req
473. Oh.
All right.Copy !req
474. So, Hairography.Copy !req
475. It works best when you pretend
like you're getting tasered.Copy !req
476. So you just move
your head aroundCopy !req
477. Like you're spazzing and stuff.Copy !req
478. Very nice.
Wow.Copy !req
479. You guys, it's like
cool epilepsy.Copy !req
480. Come on, guys.Copy !req
481. Let's see
what you got.Copy !req
482. Good, guys, yeah.Copy !req
483. Just relax and go for it,
all right.Copy !req
484. My neck, my back.Copy !req
485. When is the lying
going to stop, sue?Copy !req
486. I don't know what
you're talking about.Copy !req
487. You've been spying on me
and we both know it.Copy !req
488. You'll do anything
to torpedo glee club.Copy !req
489. And it has got to stop!Copy !req
490. I resent that
accusation, Wiliam.Copy !req
491. And one I understand you've
been making to our friendsCopy !req
492. At Haverbrook and Jane Addams.Copy !req
493. And it's an outrageousCopy !req
494. Affront to my
sterling reputation!Copy !req
495. That being said,Copy !req
496. Fine, I have been
checking up on you.Copy !req
497. Because I don't like
what's going on in there.Copy !req
498. Do you know why I make
each of my cheeriosCopy !req
499. Wear her hair pulled
back in a ponytail?Copy !req
500. Because I don't want to distract
from her impeccable talent.Copy !req
501. You seem to be taking
the opposite approach, Will.Copy !req
502. And that leads me to believe
you know your kidsCopy !req
503. Don't have what it takes.Copy !req
504. I believe in my kids.Copy !req
505. Well, maybe in the
beginning, but not now.Copy !req
506. Now that you've seen
the competitionCopy !req
507. That threatens your
very position at this school!Copy !req
508. You're going to get me
an updated set list
by 5:00 tomorrow.Copy !req
509. And if there's anything
on that listCopy !req
510. That involved, demeaning,
fruity hair tossing,
I'm cutting it!Copy !req
511. I will not let you dictate
my number choices.Copy !req
512. And you are not
getting that list.Copy !req
513. Well, then I'm back
as co-director.Copy !req
514. Okay, guys, from the top.Copy !req
515. I'll just be a second.Copy !req
516. Thanks again for helping me out
with this Hairography stuff.Copy !req
517. Yeah, I mean,Copy !req
518. You know, it's all
about getting warmed up.Copy !req
519. Could you think of a song,Copy !req
520. Maybe, that we could
practice with?Copy !req
521. What about the, the one
from Grease?Copy !req
522. You know, we did itCopy !req
523. When you first
joined the club?Copy !req
524. Okay, only I was just mostlyCopy !req
525. Nervous that day,
but it...Copy !req
526. Tell me about it... Stud.Copy !req
527. ~~ I got chills,
they're multiplyin' ~~Copy !req
528. ~~ and I'm losing control ~~Copy !req
529. ~~ 'cause the power
you're supplyin' ~~Copy !req
530. ~~ it's electrifyin'! ~~Copy !req
531. ~~ you better shape up ~~Copy !req
532. ~~ 'cause I need a man ~~Copy !req
533. ~~ but my heart is set on you ~~Copy !req
534. Wait, stop, stop.Copy !req
535. What's wrong?Copy !req
536. I need to be honest with you.Copy !req
537. I'm-I'm really uncomfortable
right now.Copy !req
538. I'm gonna say this as nicely
as I possibly can,Copy !req
539. But you look likeCopy !req
540. A sad clown hooker.Copy !req
541. What?Copy !req
542. This look,Copy !req
543. It just isn't you.Copy !req
544. I mean, maybe
when I first saw it,Copy !req
545. I was caught off guard
that you looked allCopy !req
546. Adult and stuff,Copy !req
547. But it's not what's really great
about you, Rachel.Copy !req
548. I actually
like the wayCopy !req
549. You usually dress,
sequined leg warmers and stuff.Copy !req
550. I thought this was
what you liked.Copy !req
551. No, not at all.Copy !req
552. Funny, I was just having
this conversationCopy !req
553. Last week with Kurt,
and he asked me...Copy !req
554. So what kind
of girls do you like?Copy !req
555. Oh, uh, I like itCopy !req
556. When they're
natural and stuff;Copy !req
557. Not a lot of makeup,
not skintight clothes.Copy !req
558. That sort of thing,
you know?Copy !req
559. Totally.Copy !req
560. I feel like an idiot.Copy !req
561. No, no, this is my fault.Copy !req
562. It isn't right for me
to be here anyway.Copy !req
563. But I really like you, Rachel.Copy !req
564. I gotta go.Copy !req
565. I told you we should
have been the cowboys.Copy !req
566. My bad.Copy !req
567. What are we gonna
do about this?Copy !req
568. Who are you texting?Copy !req
569. Uh, Mike Ching.
He's got wind problems.Copy !req
570. Well, put the phone down
and help meCopy !req
571. With this knot.
I've almost got it.Copy !req
572. Stop that!
Not the table!Copy !req
573. Think of something!Copy !req
574. I brought my guitar.Copy !req
575. Why don't we sing them
a lullaby?Copy !req
576. Give me this.
Hey, kids, look at me.Copy !req
577. Want to see
a real live
music video?Copy !req
578. Okay. ~~ papa, I know you're
going to be upset ~~Copy !req
579. ~~ 'cause I was always
your little girl ~~Copy !req
580. ~~ but you should know by now,
I'm not a baby ~~Copy !req
581. ~~ you always taught me
right from wrong ~~Copy !req
582. ~~ I need your help, daddy,
please be strong ~~Copy !req
583. ~~ I may be young at heart,
but I know what I'm sayin' ~~Copy !req
584. ~~ the one you warned me
all about ~~Copy !req
585. ~~ the one you said
I could do without ~~Copy !req
586. ~~ we're in an awful mess ~~Copy !req
587. ~~ and I don't mean maybe,
please ~~Copy !req
588. ~~ papa don't preach,
I'm in trouble deep ~~Copy !req
589. ~~ papa don't preach,
I been losing sleep ~~Copy !req
590. ~~ but I made up my mind,
I'm keepin' my baby ~~Copy !req
591. ~~ ooh, I'm gonna keep my baby,
mm-mm. ~~Copy !req
592. Sing it again.Copy !req
593. I think this is
the first timeCopy !req
594. They have all been asleep
at the same time.Copy !req
595. What's that smell?Copy !req
596. Soap.Copy !req
597. You got them
to take a bath?Copy !req
598. What are you,
an exorcist?Copy !req
599. She's like a jet, right?Copy !req
600. I need a new clutch and
a new set of shocks, but she isCopy !req
601. Really coming together.Copy !req
602. What are you gonna do
when the kid comes?Copy !req
603. You can't put a car seat
in that thing.Copy !req
604. No latch system.Copy !req
605. You were awesome tonight.Copy !req
606. I was surprised at
how I kinda enjoyed it.Copy !req
607. I was worried
about you at first.Copy !req
608. You seemed distracted,
all that texting to mike.Copy !req
609. Distracted? I was
the opposite, babe.Copy !req
610. I was totally into it.Copy !req
611. All I know is we proved
something tonight:Copy !req
612. This parenting thing?
We can do this.Copy !req
613. You set me up...
With Finn!Copy !req
614. Looks like someone is running
for drama Queen again.Copy !req
615. How could you do that?Copy !req
616. I thought we were friends.Copy !req
617. And what made you think that?Copy !req
618. You should be thanking me.Copy !req
619. All I did was help you realize
that your schoolgirl fantasyCopy !req
620. Of running off with Finn
was nothing but a fairytale.Copy !req
621. You like him.Copy !req
622. Yeah, that's,
that's what this is.Copy !req
623. And you were just trying
to eliminate the competition.Copy !req
624. I was just helping him
understandCopy !req
625. That you are not
a viable second choice.Copy !req
626. You think I'm a second choice?Copy !req
627. A distant second.Copy !req
628. You think I'm living
in a fairytale?Copy !req
629. If I were second
or if I were 50th,Copy !req
630. I'd still be ahead of you
because I'm a girl.Copy !req
631. Okay, here's the dope,Copy !req
632. There's no hope
for either of us.Copy !req
633. He loves Quinn.
They're having a baby together.Copy !req
634. We're nothing but distractions.Copy !req
635. The sooner we realize that...
The better.Copy !req
636. Keep your paws off my man.Copy !req
637. Clear?Copy !req
638. Who's your man?Copy !req
639. Don't play stupid, tubbers.Copy !req
640. Oh, and for the record,Copy !req
641. Asking someone to babysit
with you is super '90s.Copy !req
642. I happen to know
that Puck cares about me.Copy !req
643. Oh, wake up!Copy !req
644. While you two were babysitting,
Puck and I were sexting.Copy !req
645. Sexting?Copy !req
646. Sexy texting. Seriously,
what era are you from?Copy !req
647. While you two wereCopy !req
648. "playing house,"Copy !req
649. Puck and I were trading
super-hot texts.Copy !req
650. Why don't you check
his cell phone?Copy !req
651. 'cause my sexts are
too hot to erase.Copy !req
652. Thank you all for coming.Copy !req
653. We are so honored
to have you guys here.Copy !req
654. So, without further ado,
I present the new directions.Copy !req
655. Yes, so crazy right now.Copy !req
656. Most incredibly,
it's your boy Artie,Copy !req
657. It's you're girl mercedes.Copy !req
658. You ready?Copy !req
659. ~~ hey! ~~
~~ uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh,
no-no-no ~~Copy !req
660. ~~ uh-oh, uh-oh,
uh-oh, no-no-no ~~Copy !req
661. ~~ I look and stare so deep
in your eyes ~~Copy !req
662. ~~ I touch on you more and more
every time ~~Copy !req
663. ~~ when you leave,
I'm begging you not to go ~~Copy !req
664. ~~ call your name two,
three times in a row ~~Copy !req
665. ~~ I'm hairy high and low ~~Copy !req
666. ~~ don't ask me why,
I don't know, oh-oh-oh ~~Copy !req
667. ~~ I'm going so crazy
right now ~~Copy !req
668. ~~ your love's got me looking
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
669. ~~ got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
670. ~~ your touch got me lookin' ~~Copy !req
671. ~~ so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
672. ~~ give me a head with hair,
long beautiful hair ~~Copy !req
673. ~~ shining, gleaming,
streaming, flaxen, waxen ~~Copy !req
674. ~~ got me hoping
you page me right now ~~Copy !req
675. ~~ your kiss got me hopin'
you save me right now ~~Copy !req
676. ~~ lookin' so crazy,
your love's got me lookin' ~~Copy !req
677. ~~ got me lookin'
so crazy, your love ~~Copy !req
678. ~~ got me lookin' so crazy
right now ~~Copy !req
679. ~~ your love's got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
680. ~~ got me lookin' so crazy
right now ~~Copy !req
681. ~~ your touch got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
682. ~~ down to here,
down to there ~~Copy !req
683. ~~ down to there, down
to where it stops by itself ~~Copy !req
684. ~~ where it stops by itself ~~Copy !req
685. ~~ oh-oh-oh, got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~
~~ so crazy ~~Copy !req
686. ~~ your love's got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
687. ~~ got me lookin' so crazy
right now ~~Copy !req
688. ~~ your touch got me lookin'
so crazy right now ~~Copy !req
689. ~~ crazy right now! ~~Copy !req
690. It didn't work at all,
did it?Copy !req
691. No, it's just the rehearsal.Copy !req
692. It's still just a little rough,Copy !req
693. But we're onto something.Copy !req
694. ~~ imagine there's no heaven ~~Copy !req
695. ~~ it easy if you try ~~Copy !req
696. ~~ no hell below us ~~Copy !req
697. ~~ above us, only sky ~~Copy !req
698. ~~ imagine all the people ~~Copy !req
699. ~~ living life for today ~~Copy !req
700. ~~ imagine there's no countries ~~Copy !req
701. ~~ it's not hard to do ~~Copy !req
702. ~~ nothing to kill or die for ~~Copy !req
703. ~~ and no religion, too ~~Copy !req
704. ~~ imagine all the people ~~Copy !req
705. ~~ living life in peace,
yoo-hoo-ooh-ooh ~~Copy !req
706. ~~ you may say I'm a dreamer ~~Copy !req
707. ~~ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~~Copy !req
708. ~~ but I'm not the only one ~~Copy !req
709. ~~ I hope someday
you will join us ~~Copy !req
710. ~~ I hope someday
you will join us ~~Copy !req
711. ~~ ooh ~~Copy !req
712. ~~ and the world will be as one ~~Copy !req
713. ~~ imagine no possessions ~~Copy !req
714. ~~ I wonder if you can ~~Copy !req
715. ~~ no need for greed or hunger ~~Copy !req
716. ~~ a brotherhood of man ~~Copy !req
717. ~~ imagine all the people ~~Copy !req
718. ~~ sharing all the world ~~Copy !req
719. ~~ you ~~Copy !req
720. ~~ you may say I'm a dreamer ~~Copy !req
721. ~~ ooh ~~Copy !req
722. ~~ but I'm not the only one ~~Copy !req
723. ~~ I hope someday
you will join us ~~Copy !req
724. ~~ and the world
will live as one. ~~Copy !req
725. Hey, baby.Copy !req
726. Um...Copy !req
727. You really
don't want to do that.Copy !req
728. You lied to me.Copy !req
729. I'm sorry.Copy !req
730. I tried to resist santana.Copy !req
731. I did.Copy !req
732. But I'm young and girls
have this power over me.Copy !req
733. But, hey, it's all good.Copy !req
734. It's definitely
not all good.Copy !req
735. I thought you wanted
to be with me.Copy !req
736. I do. Like, a lot.Copy !req
737. But you haven't
given it up to meCopy !req
738. Since the night
I knocked you up,Copy !req
739. And, baby, I'm a dude.Copy !req
740. I have needs.Copy !req
741. So, you expect to
raise a baby with meCopy !req
742. And text dirty messages to
every other girl at this schoolCopy !req
743. If I don't give it
up to you every day?Copy !req
744. No. Just the hot girls.Copy !req
745. Look, I'm going
to be a good dad,Copy !req
746. But I'm not going
to stop being me to do it.Copy !req
747. You can have her.Copy !req
748. Are you serious?Copy !req
749. A girl really needs
a good father.Copy !req
750. And the only way
she's going to get thatCopy !req
751. Is if I give her to you.Copy !req
752. You think Mr. Shue's going
to be a good father, don't you?Copy !req
753. Yeah.Copy !req
754. I think he's going
to be an amazing dad.Copy !req
755. Will!
Hey, guys.Copy !req
756. I thought you were going to be
at the scrap yard all afternoon.Copy !req
757. Oh, yeah,
uh, change of plans.Copy !req
758. Got distracted
with something else.Copy !req
759. Uh, Quinn,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
760. Oh, girl talk.Copy !req
761. We're exchanging
pregnancy war stories.Copy !req
762. Oh, that's... Nice.Copy !req
763. Well, when you get a sec,Copy !req
764. Can you meet me
out in the garage, Terr?Copy !req
765. Oh, I was
just leaving, so...Copy !req
766. Yes?Copy !req
767. Later, Mr. Shue.Copy !req
768. You know I hate surprises.Copy !req
769. Where's the blue bomber II?Copy !req
770. I sold it to some kid.Copy !req
771. For a tidy little profit.Copy !req
772. Let him have the fun.Copy !req
773. I made enough for a down payment
on a car for our whole family.Copy !req
774. Oh, terri.Copy !req
775. I love you.Copy !req
776. And our little girl.Copy !req
777. And I don't want anything
to distract me from you guys.Copy !req
778. Hi.Copy !req
779. Hi.Copy !req
780. Can we be in love again?Copy !req
781. I have to tell you
something first.Copy !req
782. I, uh...Copy !req
783. I want us to be honest with
each other, no matter what.Copy !req
784. You can tell me anything.Copy !req
785. Cool. Uh...Copy !req
786. It... It's not really
even that big a deal.Copy !req
787. I mean, I didn't
actually do anything,Copy !req
788. But, the other night,
when you were babysitting...Copy !req
789. I kind of went over
to Rachel's house.Copy !req
790. But nothing happened.Copy !req
791. I... Just was worked up
about us fightingCopy !req
792. And then she put on this
really weird catwoman suit,Copy !req
793. And so I think something
could have happened,Copy !req
794. But it didn't.Copy !req
795. Because I only want
to be with you.Copy !req
796. It's all right.Copy !req
797. Thank you for being
honest with me.Copy !req
798. I love you, Quinn.Copy !req
799. I love you, too.Copy !req
800. Hey, Sue. You got a sec?Copy !req
801. Sure.Copy !req
802. I owe you an apology.Copy !req
803. I did think the kids needed
to be a little more showbizCopy !req
804. And I was wrong.Copy !req
805. That isn't who they are.Copy !req
806. So, thank you
for helping me see that.Copy !req
807. Oh, and, uh,
here's the new set list.Copy !req
808. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
809. Wow, these are great
choices, Wiliam.Copy !req
810. "Proud Mary."Copy !req
811. Smokin' hot deep cut.Copy !req
812. Smokin' hot!Copy !req
813. Don't mock me.Copy !req
814. Sorry.Copy !req
815. Oh, I don't recognize
this last one.Copy !req
816. Oh, that's the new addition.Copy !req
817. Yeah, I want the kids to forget
everything I taught themCopy !req
818. About Hairography because...Copy !req
819. We're starting from scratch.Copy !req
820. Grab a stool.Copy !req
821. So, we're a stool choir now?Copy !req
822. Nope. We're not dancing
with the stools.Copy !req
823. No gimmicks. No
false theatricality.Copy !req
824. We're just going to
sit in them and sing.Copy !req
825. Thanks, Mr. Schuester.Copy !req
826. This is their set
list from sectionals.Copy !req
827. "don't stop believing."
that's in.Copy !req
828. "Proud Mary,"Copy !req
829. Performed in wheelchairs.
That's in.Copy !req
830. Now, I suggest you
take these two songs,Copy !req
831. Split them between
your two groups,Copy !req
832. And I'll pull some stringsCopy !req
833. And make sure that Schuester
and his group perform last.Copy !req
834. That way, it'll look
like he stole the songsCopy !req
835. From you.Copy !req
836. Um, who do you think I am?Copy !req
837. That's actually
a very good questionCopy !req
838. Because I've forgotten
both of your names.Copy !req
839. Look, I spend
every waking hour of my dayCopy !req
840. Trying to teach those girls
that lying and cheatingCopy !req
841. Is not the way you're
ever going to get ahead.Copy !req
842. And you're suggesting
I do exactly that,Copy !req
843. So that they can win
a singing competition?Copy !req
844. Yeah, pretty much.Copy !req
845. I think you're missing
an opportunityCopy !req
846. To give your girls
a second chance.Copy !req
847. These Mckinley kids
are going to do fine.Copy !req
848. But outside of glee club,Copy !req
849. Your girls don't have a heck
of a lot going for them.Copy !req
850. And I'd hate to see them
so devastated by losingCopy !req
851. That they'd
give up entirely.Copy !req
852. You know how many deaf choirs
have won this competition?Copy !req
853. Okay. Everybody's going
to need to speak upCopy !req
854. Because I can't hear.Copy !req
855. Deaf in one ear.
Scarlet fever.Copy !req
856. I assume you read
lips. Read these.Copy !req
857. Never let anything
distract you from winning.Copy !req
858. Ever.Copy !req
859. ~~ ah, ah, ah ~~Copy !req
860. ~~ you with the sad eyes ~~Copy !req
861. ~~ don't be discouraged ~~Copy !req
862. ~~ oh, I realize it's hard
to take courage ~~Copy !req
863. ~~ in a world full of people ~~Copy !req
864. ~~ you can lose sight of it all ~~Copy !req
865. ~~ and darkness,
still inside you ~~Copy !req
866. ~~ make you feel so small ~~Copy !req
867. ~~ but I see your true colors
shining through ~~Copy !req
868. ~~ I see your true colors ~~Copy !req
869. ~~ and that's why I love you ~~Copy !req
870. ~~ so don't be afraid
to let them show ~~Copy !req
871. ~~ your true colors ~~Copy !req
872. ~~ true colors are beautiful ~~Copy !req
873. ~~ like a rainbow ~~Copy !req
874. ~~ show me a smile, then ~~Copy !req
875. ~~ don't be unhappy ~~Copy !req
876. ~~ can't remember when ~~Copy !req
877. ~~ I last saw you laughing ~~Copy !req
878. ~~ if this world
makes you crazy ~~Copy !req
879. ~~ and you've taken
all you can bear ~~Copy !req
880. ~~ you call me up because
you know I'll be there ~~Copy !req
881. ~~ and I see your true colors
shining through ~~Copy !req
882. ~~ yeah ~~Copy !req
883. ~~ I see your true colors
and that's why I love you ~~Copy !req
884. ~~ so don't be afraid ~~Copy !req
885. ~~ afraid ~~
~~ to let them show ~~Copy !req
886. ~~ your true colors ~~Copy !req
887. ~~ true colors ~~Copy !req
888. ~~ true colors ~~Copy !req
889. ~~ are beautiful
like a rainbow. ~~Copy !req