1. Here's what you missed last
Quinn's pregnant,Copy !req
2. and Puck's the father, but
everybody thinks it's Finn.Copy !req
3. You're a punk who doesn't
deserve to have QuinnCopy !req
4. as his girlfriend.Copy !req
5. Except for Quinn's parents,Copy !req
6. who don't know anything...
at all.Copy !req
7. They just know she's
in the Celibacy Club.Copy !req
8. Well, call the Vatican!Copy !req
9. We got ourselves another
immaculate conception.Copy !req
10. And that's what you missed
on...Copy !req
11. ~~ Glee ~~Copy !req
12. Ballad.Copy !req
13. From Middle English, balade.Copy !req
14. Who knows what
this word means?Copy !req
15. It's a male duck.Copy !req
16. Kurt.Copy !req
17. A ballad is a love song.Copy !req
18. Sometimes, but they don't
always express love.Copy !req
19. Ballads are stories
set to music—Copy !req
20. which is why they're
the perfect stormCopy !req
21. of self-expression.Copy !req
22. Stories and music are the way
we express feelingsCopy !req
23. that we can't get out
any other way.Copy !req
24. Okay, now,Copy !req
25. sectionals are in a few weeksCopy !req
26. and there's a new rule
this year—Copy !req
27. we have to perform...
a ballad.Copy !req
28. Looks like my
weekly letterCopy !req
29. to the Ohio Show
Choir CommitteeCopy !req
30. finally paid off!Copy !req
31. Okay. So here's our assignment
for the week:Copy !req
32. I'm going to pair you off,Copy !req
33. and I want you to pick a ballad
to sing to your partner.Copy !req
34. Look them right in the eye,Copy !req
35. find the emotion
you want to express,Copy !req
36. and make them feel it.Copy !req
37. I pick Quinn.Copy !req
38. No, no, no.Copy !req
39. Too easy.Copy !req
40. Your partners will
be chosen by fate.Copy !req
41. Ooh!
Ooh, yeah.Copy !req
42. I put all your names
in this hat.Copy !req
43. Whoever you choose
is your partner.Copy !req
44. (whispering):
I bet the duck's
in the hat.Copy !req
45. But Matt's out
sick today.Copy !req
46. He had to go to
the hospital,Copy !req
47. 'cause they found
a spider in his ear.Copy !req
48. Um... I guess I'll just haveCopy !req
49. to put my name in the hat
for now.Copy !req
50. Who's up first?Copy !req
51. Mercedes.Copy !req
52. All right.Copy !req
53. Quinn.Copy !req
54. Kurt.Copy !req
55. Mr. Shue, I don't know if I can
do this with another guy.Copy !req
56. The fates have spoken, Finn.Copy !req
57. Other Asian.Copy !req
58. Brittany.Copy !req
59. How fitting.
Yay!Copy !req
60. No way.Copy !req
61. Looks like I get you,
Mr. Shue.Copy !req
62. Uh... you know what?Copy !req
63. Maybe we should just wait
until Matt gets back.Copy !req
64. The fates talked,
Mr. Shue.Copy !req
65. Would you mind clarifyingCopy !req
66. what kinds of songs
you want us to sing?Copy !req
67. Why don't you let Mr. Schuester
and I demonstrate.Copy !req
68. Brad, "Endless Love"
in B-flat, please.Copy !req
69. It's my favorite duet.Copy !req
70. I really don't thinkCopy !req
71. that's an appropriate
song, Rachel.Copy !req
72. Why? It's a great song,Copy !req
73. and it's a perfect ballad.Copy !req
74. Yeah. I really like
that song, Mr. Shue.Copy !req
75. ~~ My love... ~~Copy !req
76. I could totally sing
this song with Finn.Copy !req
77. But screw him if he's thinksCopy !req
78. he's taking the Diana Ross
part from me.Copy !req
79. ~~ The only thing
that's right... ~~Copy !req
80. I love the days when
I don't wear underwear.Copy !req
81. ~Full Commando~Copy !req
82. ~~ My first love... ~~Copy !req
83. I never noticed how nice
Rachel's butt is.Copy !req
84. Oh, crap, I think Quinn knows
I'm staring at it.Copy !req
85. ~~ You're every breath
that I take ~~Copy !req
86. ~~ You're every step I make ~~Copy !req
87. ~~ And I ~~Copy !req
88. ~~ I ~~Copy !req
89. ~~ I want to share ~~Copy !req
90. ~~ All my love with you ~~Copy !req
91. ~~ No one else will do ~~Copy !req
92. ~~ And your eyes ~~Copy !req
93. ~~ Your eyes, your eyes ~~Copy !req
94. ~~ They tell me
how much you care ~~Copy !req
95. ~~ Oh, yeah... ~~Copy !req
96. Wow.Copy !req
97. I've never noticed this before,Copy !req
98. because he's always trying
to destroy my career,Copy !req
99. but Mr. Shue has really
pretty eyes.Copy !req
100. ~~ My endless love... ~~Copy !req
101. And really nice teeth.Copy !req
102. He's obviously invested
in good oral hygiene,Copy !req
103. and that's important to me.Copy !req
104. It shows wonderful self-esteem.Copy !req
105. ~~ I'll be that fool ~~Copy !req
106. ~~ For you ~~Copy !req
107. ~~ I'm sure ~~Copy !req
108. I don't like the wayCopy !req
109. she's looking at me.Copy !req
110. Oh, I shouldn't have
sung this song to her.Copy !req
111. Crap! She looks crazy
right now.Copy !req
112. I know this look.Copy !req
113. ~~ Yes ~~Copy !req
114. ~~ You'll be the only one ~~Copy !req
115. ~~ Oh ~~Copy !req
116. ~~ 'Cause no ~~Copy !req
117. ~~ No one can't deny ~~Copy !req
118. ~~ This love I have inside ~~Copy !req
119. ~~ And I'll give it all to you ~~Copy !req
120. ~~ My love ~~Copy !req
121. ~~ My love, my love ~~Copy !req
122. ~~ My endless love. ~~Copy !req
123. Okay, this is amazing.Copy !req
124. When I'm singing with him,Copy !req
125. it's like I'm seeing him
for the first time.Copy !req
126. And what I'm seeing is super...
super cute.Copy !req
127. Okay.Copy !req
128. Something like that.Copy !req
129. Sweetie,Copy !req
130. I' m so proud of you.Copy !req
131. The Chastity Ball is
so important to your father.Copy !req
132. God, I miss the firm supportCopy !req
133. of my polyester
Cheerios uniform!Copy !req
134. The control panel hid
my baby bump perfectly.Copy !req
135. That's odd.Copy !req
136. We had this custom-made
a month ago.Copy !req
137. I had a really big lunch
today at school.Copy !req
138. Really big tacos.Copy !req
139. No worries, sweetie.Copy !req
140. I'll just take it down
to the tailor tomorrow.Copy !req
141. We'll let it out
a little bit.Copy !req
142. The problem here,Copy !req
143. honey, is, you know,Copy !req
144. I just don't think
you've been gettingCopy !req
145. enough exercise ever since
you quit the Cheerios.Copy !req
146. Am I right?
Yeah.Copy !req
147. Yeah. That's right.Copy !req
148. I mean, you used to
spend hoursCopy !req
149. every day doing
backflips and high kicks,Copy !req
150. and now, I mean, now you
spend all your free timeCopy !req
151. sitting on a stool in the dark
singing show tunes.Copy !req
152. Do you know how many calories
you burn singing?Copy !req
153. Hmm?Copy !req
154. Not very many.
Judy!Copy !req
155. Glenn Beck is on!Copy !req
156. Oh! Wait. Hold on.Copy !req
157. Hold on.
(laughing):
He's so...Copy !req
158. Oh, I don't want
to see!Copy !req
159. Daddy, it's not like
we're getting married.Copy !req
160. I don't want— oh.Copy !req
161. Oh, look at you.Copy !req
162. Speaking of getting married,Copy !req
163. how's that boyCopy !req
164. you've been dating?
Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
165. He's not, uh, pressuring
you at all, is he?Copy !req
166. No!Copy !req
167. No, he's a gentleman.Copy !req
168. I'm glad to hear that.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
169. That's why
I'm inviting him overCopy !req
170. for dinner on Sunday.
Oh!Copy !req
171. Wonderful.
Refresher?Copy !req
172. Honey, I don't want you
to lift a finger for me.Copy !req
173. Tsk.Copy !req
174. I'm your wife.Copy !req
175. My little lemon drop.
Oh!Copy !req
176. I gotta go catch Glenn.
(clears throat)Copy !req
177. Mr. Schuester?
Yeah?Copy !req
178. I just wanted to confirmCopy !req
179. that we're set to
rehearse our balladCopy !req
180. at 4:00 sharp this afternoon.Copy !req
181. Oh.Copy !req
182. Isn't Matt back yet?Copy !req
183. No, it's just...Copy !req
184. you and me, all week long.Copy !req
185. Great.Copy !req
186. Well... I'll
see you at 4:00.Copy !req
187. Is there something else?Copy !req
188. I just wanted to
give you this.Copy !req
189. Open it.Copy !req
190. Gold stars are kind of
my signature thing.Copy !req
191. I figure every time you wear it,
you can think of meCopy !req
192. and the star you're
helping me become.Copy !req
193. It's happening...Copy !req
194. again.Copy !req
195. It always starts
with a novelty gift.Copy !req
196. I mean, you can't blame her,
Will.Copy !req
197. I mean, if we were going to rank
crushworthy teachersCopy !req
198. at this school, you'd be
number one with a bullet.Copy !req
199. Uh... well, I...Copy !req
200. when did, when did this
start with Rachel?Copy !req
201. We sang a duet in Glee Club—
"Endless Love."Copy !req
202. Okay, in hindsight,
that was probably a mistake.Copy !req
203. Yeah.Copy !req
204. I can't handle going
through this again.Copy !req
205. Sorry, going through, um,
going through what again?Copy !req
206. Have I ever told you about...Copy !req
207. Suzy Pepper?Copy !req
208. So the alpacas start thereCopy !req
209. and, uh, travel down
towards Guatemala.Copy !req
210. Suzy Pepper wasn't the first
schoolgirl crush,Copy !req
211. but she was the hardest.Copy !req
212. It happened
about two years ago,Copy !req
213. before you were a teacher here.Copy !req
214. Suzy was... unique.Copy !req
215. Mr. Shue, how do you
conjugate the verb...Copy !req
216. to love?Copy !req
217. Peppers.Copy !req
218. So you can wear them
and think of me—Copy !req
219. Suzy Pepper.Copy !req
220. I thought it would burn out
like the others,Copy !req
221. but it only got worse.Copy !req
222. Hello?Copy !req
223. Who is it?
Who died?Copy !req
224. Suzy Pepper?Copy !req
225. You knew it was me just
by the sound of my breath.Copy !req
226. That's so romantic.Copy !req
227. Listen, you little psycho,
this is Will's wife.Copy !req
228. And if I don't get enough sleep,
my anti-depressants won't work,Copy !req
229. and then I'll go crazy
and I'll kill you.Copy !req
230. Terri...
Stop calling!Copy !req
231. Can't you handle
anything, Will?Copy !req
232. Terri was right—
(school bell ringing)Copy !req
233. or so I thought.Copy !req
234. I decided to be honest
with Suzy,Copy !req
235. face this head-on.Copy !req
236. Okay. How'd that go?Copy !req
237. ~~ It would be to show me
how you feel ~~Copy !req
238. ~~ More than words ~~Copy !req
239. ~~ Is all you have to do
to make it real ~~Copy !req
240. ~~ Then you wouldn't
have to say ~~Copy !req
241. ~~ That you... ~~Copy !req
242. It was the world's
hottest pepper.Copy !req
243. She had it shippedCopy !req
244. from Sinaloa,
Mexico.
Oh, no.Copy !req
245. Oh, gosh. What happened to her?Copy !req
246. Well, the ambulance arrived
just in time.Copy !req
247. The pepper burned holes
in her esophagus.Copy !req
248. And she was in a medically
induced coma for three days.Copy !req
249. That's why I can't just
tell Rachel to back off.Copy !req
250. These girls are too fragile.Copy !req
251. Wow. Okay.Copy !req
252. How about this?Copy !req
253. Why don't you take
your own advice.Copy !req
254. Right? Do what you
told the kids to do.Copy !req
255. If you're... if you're
feeling awkwardCopy !req
256. telling Rachel
how you feel,Copy !req
257. then why don't you, um,
you know, sing it to her?Copy !req
258. Let her down gently.Copy !req
259. And don't wear that tie.Copy !req
260. ~~ Bum bum ~~Copy !req
261. ~~ Bah bah. ~~
Yeah.Copy !req
262. Sing to me everything you feel.Copy !req
263. Okay.Copy !req
264. Uh...Copy !req
265. I can't. I can't.Copy !req
266. I can't sing to a dude.Copy !req
267. You have to try.Copy !req
268. I can't, okay!Copy !req
269. I can't!Copy !req
270. I'm sick and tiredCopy !req
271. of people pushing me
to be somebody I'm not.Copy !req
272. Your lashing out at me
is fantastically compellingCopy !req
273. and inappropriate.Copy !req
274. Dude, I'm sorry.Copy !req
275. You're really awesome, Kurt.Copy !req
276. I...Copy !req
277. I'm just under
a load of crap right now.Copy !req
278. Girls.Copy !req
279. They're your problem.Copy !req
280. They're up,
they're down.Copy !req
281. Girls.Copy !req
282. It's the baby.Copy !req
283. She's my daughter, and...Copy !req
284. there's so many things
I want to say to her,Copy !req
285. and I'm never going
to be able to.Copy !req
286. Like what?Copy !req
287. Well...Copy !req
288. like how I don't
want her to thinkCopy !req
289. that her father
just abandoned her.Copy !req
290. How I would do
anything for her.Copy !req
291. How, no matter what I do,
I'm always thinking about her.Copy !req
292. How I'm going to spend
my whole life loving her,Copy !req
293. and she's never even
going to know.Copy !req
294. You got to let it out.Copy !req
295. How?Copy !req
296. By singing.Copy !req
297. "I'll Stand By You"
by the Pretenders.Copy !req
298. It's in your
wheelhouse,Copy !req
299. and I know you know
it from the radioCopy !req
300. because it's a classic.Copy !req
301. And you do well
with the classics,Copy !req
302. especially in the
soft rock mode.Copy !req
303. Yeah, I do like
that song, but...Copy !req
304. how is it going to make me
feel better again?Copy !req
305. By singing it out.Copy !req
306. To the audience.Copy !req
307. Imagine your
little girlCopy !req
308. sitting there.Copy !req
309. Thank God I never missed
a piano lesson.Copy !req
310. ~~ Oh ~~Copy !req
311. ~~ Why you look so sad? ~~Copy !req
312. ~~ Tears are in your eyes ~~Copy !req
313. ~~ Come on and come to me now ~~Copy !req
314. ~~ When the night falls on you ~~Copy !req
315. ~~ You don't know what to do ~~Copy !req
316. ~~ Nothing you confess ~~Copy !req
317. ~~ Could make me love you less ~~Copy !req
318. ~~ I'll stand by you ~~
(full band joins in)Copy !req
319. ~~ I'll stand by you ~~Copy !req
320. ~~ Won't let nobody hurt you ~~Copy !req
321. ~~ I'll stand by you ~~Copy !req
322. ~~ Take me in
into your darkest hour ~~Copy !req
323. ~~ And I'll never desert you ~~Copy !req
324. ~~ I'll stand by you ~~Copy !req
325. ~~ I'll stand by you ~~Copy !req
326. ~~ Won't let nobody hurt you ~~Copy !req
327. ~~ I'll stand by you. ~~Copy !req
328. Finn, what's going on?Copy !req
329. What are you doing?Copy !req
330. Uh, nothing.Copy !req
331. Were you just singing
to a sonogram?Copy !req
332. Uh-huh.Copy !req
333. Is Quinn pregnant?Copy !req
334. (sobbing):
Mom.Copy !req
335. I'm sorry.Copy !req
336. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
337. Shh, shh, shh.Copy !req
338. I screwed up, Mom.Copy !req
339. It's going to be okay.Copy !req
340. I'm so sorry.
Shh, shh, shh.Copy !req
341. I can't believe
told your mom.Copy !req
342. What if she
tells my mom?Copy !req
343. No, she's not.
Half the school knows.
Your mom knows.Copy !req
344. Who else do you
want to tell? Huh?Copy !req
345. But she's not going
to tell anybody.Copy !req
346. You're wrong, I'm right.
I'm smart, you're dumb.Copy !req
347. All this baby drama
is making my rosacea act up.Copy !req
348. I know.Copy !req
349. I just feel bad for them,Copy !req
350. having to go through this
on their own.Copy !req
351. Let me see what I can do.Copy !req
352. I'll report back later.Copy !req
353. No, you're wrong,
I'm right.Copy !req
354. I'm right, okay?
She doesn't talk
to other moms.Copy !req
355. How do you explain her
constant irritation with you?Copy !req
356. It's because she's a girl.Copy !req
357. No, I think it's the
pregnancy hormones or something.Copy !req
358. They make her kind of nuts.Copy !req
359. It's enough to want
to give up women altogether.Copy !req
360. Yeah.Copy !req
361. Anyway, thanks
for the adviceCopy !req
362. about singing
to the baby like that.Copy !req
363. Uh, worked like a charm.Copy !req
364. I owe you one, dude.
(pats arm)Copy !req
365. Okay, I'll admit it.Copy !req
366. I'm madly in love with Finn.Copy !req
367. I have been
since the first time we met.Copy !req
368. Dude.Copy !req
369. Impulse control.Copy !req
370. He was my knight
in shining armor.Copy !req
371. My feelings lingered stronger
as we bonded over Glee.Copy !req
372. Then football.Copy !req
373. Then skin care.Copy !req
374. Your T zone is
dangerously dry.Copy !req
375. Your... your T zone.Copy !req
376. Oh.Copy !req
377. Twice a day.Copy !req
378. It's very mild and has
a built-in sunblock.Copy !req
379. Cool.Copy !req
380. Thanks, man.Copy !req
381. I don't know why
I find his stupidity charming.Copy !req
382. I mean, he's cheating
off a girlCopy !req
383. who thinks the square root
of four is rainbows.Copy !req
384. I guess that's love for you.Copy !req
385. Hey.Copy !req
386. Eyes on your own paper.Copy !req
387. I know it seems weird that
I'm helping Finn with Quinn,Copy !req
388. but rest assured,
it's all part of a master plan.Copy !req
389. No matter what I do or how much
I assist him with his ballad,Copy !req
390. she's going to end up
disappointing himCopy !req
391. and breaking his heart.Copy !req
392. And then... he'll be crying
into my shoulder pads.Copy !req
393. Okay. So I'm really excited.Copy !req
394. I have picked
a medley of songsCopy !req
395. that's going to be
a fantastic teaching toolCopy !req
396. about how to sing
a great ballad.Copy !req
397. Why is Miss Pillsbury here?Copy !req
398. Uh...Copy !req
399. um, well, I...Copy !req
400. I, too, am very curious
about the power of the ballad.Copy !req
401. You know, I'm thinking of doing
some career counseling in song.Copy !req
402. Emma, want to just...?
S.A.T. prep...Copy !req
403. Yeah.Copy !req
404. Yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
405. Rachel,
this is a mash-upCopy !req
406. of "Young Girl" by Gary Puckett
and the Union GapCopy !req
407. and the 1980
Police classic,Copy !req
408. "Don't Stand
So Close to Me."Copy !req
409. And I want you to listen
very closely to the lyricsCopy !req
410. because I really mean
what I'm singing.Copy !req
411. Really listen.Copy !req
412. Okay.Copy !req
413. ~~ Young teacher, the subject ~~Copy !req
414. ~~ Of schoolgirl fantasy ~~Copy !req
415. ~~ She wants him so badly ~~Copy !req
416. ~~ Knows what she wants to be ~~Copy !req
417. ~~ With all the charms
of a woman ~~Copy !req
418. ~~ Ooh, ooh, ooh ~~Copy !req
419. ~~ You've kept the secret
of your youth ~~Copy !req
420. ~~ Ah, ah, ah ~~Copy !req
421. ~~ Book marking,
she's so close now ~~Copy !req
422. ~~ This girl is half his age ~~Copy !req
423. ~~ Don't stand ~~Copy !req
424. ~~ Don't stand so ~~Copy !req
425. ~~ Don't stand so close to me ~~Copy !req
426. ~~ Young girl,
you're out of your mind ~~Copy !req
427. ~~ Your love for me
is way out of line ~~Copy !req
428. ~~ Better run, girl ~~Copy !req
429. ~~ You're much too young, girl ~~Copy !req
430. ~~ Temptation, frustration ~~Copy !req
431. ~~ So bad it makes him cry ~~Copy !req
432. ~~ Beneath your perfume
and makeup ~~Copy !req
433. ~~ Ooh, ooh, ooh ~~Copy !req
434. ~~ You're just a baby
in disguise ~~Copy !req
435. ~~ Ah, ah, ah ~~Copy !req
436. ~~ Get out of here ~~Copy !req
437. ~~ Before you have the time
to change your mind ~~Copy !req
438. ~~ 'Cause I'm afraid ~~Copy !req
439. ~~ You'll go too far ~~Copy !req
440. ~~ Don't stand ~~Copy !req
441. ~~ Don't stand so ~~Copy !req
442. ~~ Don't stand so close to me ~~Copy !req
443. ~~ Young girl,
you're out of your mind ~~Copy !req
444. ~~ Your love for me
is way out of line ~~Copy !req
445. ~~ Better run, girl ~~
~~ Don't stand ~~Copy !req
446. ~~ Don't stand so ~~Copy !req
447. ~~ Don't stand so close to me ~~Copy !req
448. ~~ You're much too young, girl. ~~Copy !req
449. So, Rachel,Copy !req
450. do you think
you understood the messageCopy !req
451. I was trying to get across
with that ballad?Copy !req
452. Yes. It means I'm very young,Copy !req
453. and it's hard for you
to stand close to me.Copy !req
454. Um, no, um...Copy !req
455. Emma, would you mind
helping me out here?Copy !req
456. Um, was that the message
that you got?Copy !req
457. You're a a very good performer.Copy !req
458. He's very good.Copy !req
459. Well, I for oneCopy !req
460. can't wait to go
home and workCopy !req
461. on a medley of my own
for tomorrow,Copy !req
462. because this lesson
has given me...Copy !req
463. a lot to think about.Copy !req
464. No, Rachel, that
really wasn't the...Copy !req
465. You...Copy !req
466. Bravo.Copy !req
467. Thanks for coming
over, Kurt.Copy !req
468. I know you're into fashion
and that kind of stuff.Copy !req
469. And I need to find
something nice to wearCopy !req
470. to the Fabrays'
for dinner, so...Copy !req
471. I couldn't be more
pleased and honoredCopy !req
472. to help you find something
vintage and appropriate to wear.Copy !req
473. Here it is.Copy !req
474. My mom never had the heart
to throw this stuff out.Copy !req
475. Here, hang on to that
for the next timeCopy !req
476. Puck throws you
in the Dumpster.Copy !req
477. My dad's the same way.Copy !req
478. My mom died ten years ago,Copy !req
479. and he still keeps
her toothbrush on the
holder by their sink.Copy !req
480. The broken dresser
in their roomCopy !req
481. still smells like her perfume.Copy !req
482. I know it's stupid, but
sometimes I'll sneak in thereCopy !req
483. and open all the drawers
and lie on the floorCopy !req
484. and close my eyes
and just smell her.Copy !req
485. That's not stupid.Copy !req
486. I guess in a way, I'm lucky
I never knew him, you know?Copy !req
487. Check this out.Copy !req
488. Not half bad.Copy !req
489. Your father had
good taste.Copy !req
490. I can't believe it fits.Copy !req
491. Uh, thanks.Copy !req
492. My father was brave enoughCopy !req
493. to fight in some desert
thousands of miles away,Copy !req
494. and I can't even go
over to Dudley RoadCopy !req
495. and tell the
Fabrays the truth.Copy !req
496. Your father didn't charge
into the breach empty-handed.Copy !req
497. He had a weapon.Copy !req
498. You think
I should bring a gun?Copy !req
499. N-No, I think you should
use your greatest weapon—Copy !req
500. your voice.Copy !req
501. Hey, sweetie, I'm home.Copy !req
502. Something smells good.Copy !req
503. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
504. You're welcome.Copy !req
505. Casserole's
almost ready.Copy !req
506. Hope you like
venison.Copy !req
507. Why did you even let her
in the house?Copy !req
508. 'Cause she said she was
one of your Glee kids.Copy !req
509. It didn't take me five minutesCopy !req
510. to realize
she's in love with you.Copy !req
511. She asked if she could
see your baby pictures.Copy !req
512. What, so now you're making her
clean our bathroom?Copy !req
513. Look, Will, I have been dealingCopy !req
514. with these schoolgirl
crushes for years.Copy !req
515. So why shouldn't I get a
little something out of it?Copy !req
516. Do you have any more Ajax?Copy !req
517. Oh, in the linen closet,
sweetie.Copy !req
518. This is immoral,
Terri.Copy !req
519. No, honey, you know
what's immoral?Copy !req
520. Is me having to deal with the
fact that my husband spendsCopy !req
521. all day with young girls who are
perkier and younger than I am.Copy !req
522. I have a rash on my belly
from that cocoa butterCopy !req
523. that your mother sent me.Copy !req
524. Do you have any idea
how much it burns when I sweat?Copy !req
525. I can't scrub the floors
as hard as she can.Copy !req
526. Baby, if it's that bad,
you have to let me see it.Copy !req
527. It might
be infected.Copy !req
528. What, so now
I'm going to show youCopy !req
529. the bleeding pustules
on my skin?Copy !req
530. Wow, yeah, no,
that's not going to send youCopy !req
531. into the loving arms
of some teenage slut.Copy !req
532. For the last time,Copy !req
533. I am not having an affair
with any of my students,Copy !req
534. and you are not allowed to turn
one of them into your slaveCopy !req
535. because you have this irrational
fear of me leaving you.Copy !req
536. But why not, huh,Copy !req
537. if it's win-win for everyone?Copy !req
538. Look, she's a really good cook.Copy !req
539. (groans)
Try it.Copy !req
540. Where are you going?Copy !req
541. I'm taking Rachel home.Copy !req
542. Can you ask her to dust the
blinds in the craft room first?Copy !req
543. Mr. Schuester?Copy !req
544. Yes, Rachel?Copy !req
545. Why do I have to sit
in the backseat?Copy !req
546. Um, it's the law.Copy !req
547. Children have to
ride in the back.Copy !req
548. Children under seven.Copy !req
549. Well, I'm just concerned
for your safety.Copy !req
550. Really?Copy !req
551. Um... no,
not really.Copy !req
552. I think we should take advantage
of this golden alone timeCopy !req
553. and practice our ballad.Copy !req
554. That would be great,
but I don't haveCopy !req
555. any music
in the car.Copy !req
556. It's okay, I made us a CD.Copy !req
557. Oh.Copy !req
558. ~~ Ah, crush ~~Copy !req
559. ~~ Ah ~~Copy !req
560. ~~ I see you blowin' me a kiss ~~Copy !req
561. ~~ It doesn't take a scientist ~~Copy !req
562. ~~ To understand
what's going on, baby... ~~Copy !req
563. It wasn't finished.Copy !req
564. Yeah, well, the acoustics
are horrible in the car.Copy !req
565. Put your seat
belt back on.Copy !req
566. So... how's it
going with Puck?Copy !req
567. Are you guys still
seeing each other?Copy !req
568. I broke things off.Copy !req
569. He was too
immature,Copy !req
570. as are all the boys
in high school.Copy !req
571. I need a man
who can keep up with meCopy !req
572. intellectually and creatively.Copy !req
573. Well, that's a tough road
for most high school boys.Copy !req
574. That's why I have
my sights set much higher.Copy !req
575. Stay away from him.Copy !req
576. You're going to get hurt bad.Copy !req
577. You can't threaten me,
Pepper.Copy !req
578. I'm not afraid of you.Copy !req
579. You should be.Copy !req
580. Oh, you're on the second floor?Copy !req
581. Oh, you're right above me.Copy !req
582. Girl, you?Copy !req
583. I am a hot damn mess.Copy !req
584. I found out today
that my hamster is pregnantCopy !req
585. in biology class,
and I just started weeping.Copy !req
586. No, no, I think
that's a great idea.Copy !req
587. We're supposed to be rehearsing.Copy !req
588. I'm talking to Tina.Copy !req
589. I'll hit you back.Copy !req
590. This is bad, dude.Copy !req
591. All our ballads
are terribleCopy !req
592. 'cause we're all
so distracted.Copy !req
593. We're all worried about Finn
and Quinn and Babygate.Copy !req
594. We can't even sing
about our emotionsCopy !req
595. 'cause we're so worried
about theirs.Copy !req
596. Who cares?Copy !req
597. Um, we all do,Copy !req
598. so we decided we're all going
to sing them a balladCopy !req
599. to show that we got
their backs.Copy !req
600. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
601. There's no way I'm
singing to them.Copy !req
602. (groans)
It's not fair.Copy !req
603. Finn gets everything.Copy !req
604. He gets the sympathy,
he gets the girl.Copy !req
605. What is your problem?Copy !req
606. Finn's not the father.Copy !req
607. I am.Copy !req
608. What?Copy !req
609. All right, look.Copy !req
610. You need to get something
through your Mohawk real quick.Copy !req
611. You're the baby's daddy.Copy !req
612. It takes a hell
of a lot moreCopy !req
613. to be a father, and that
role's already been cast.Copy !req
614. because Quinn chose Finn,Copy !req
615. and you need
to accept that and move onCopy !req
616. 'cause you have no business
messing up that girl's lifeCopy !req
617. any more
than you already have.Copy !req
618. You need to back off.Copy !req
619. You owe her
at least that much.Copy !req
620. Mmm, it's a lovely ham.Copy !req
621. Thank you.Copy !req
622. There is no beating
Judy's ham.Copy !req
623. Well, I cure
all my own meats.Copy !req
624. I'd like to propose a toast.Copy !req
625. Daddy.Copy !req
626. No.
RussellCopy !req
627. and his famous toasts.
(Russell chuckles)Copy !req
628. The FabraysCopy !req
629. are a tight-knit family.Copy !req
630. I have been blessed
with a loving wife,Copy !req
631. two remarkable
daughters.Copy !req
632. My first married
a wonderful Christian manCopy !req
633. who owns his own
chain of UPS stores.Copy !req
634. My second daughter—Copy !req
635. little Quinnie—Copy !req
636. we are just so proud of her.Copy !req
637. Captain of the Cheerios.Copy !req
638. President of the Celibacy Club.Copy !req
639. I got a little peek
at the dress.Copy !req
640. I'm certain she's a shoo-in
for princess of the...Copy !req
641. She is.Copy !req
642. (chuckles)
But tonightCopy !req
643. we are very glad to welcomeCopy !req
644. her new friend—
quarterback, no less.Copy !req
645. I have to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
646. Uh... too much pop.Copy !req
647. Oh, wait, it's right through
the kitchen, sweetheart.Copy !req
648. He wears a helmet
when he plays, right?Copy !req
649. He's just intimidated
by you, Daddy.Copy !req
650. Well, hello, Finn Hudson.Copy !req
651. I'm at the Fabrays
and I'm freaking out.Copy !req
652. What does
a heart attack feel like?Copy !req
653. Settle down, cowboy.
This is why we burned the discCopy !req
654. and spent all that time
rehearsing.Copy !req
655. I can't do it.
Yes, you can.Copy !req
656. Just remember the power
of the ballad.Copy !req
657. I have to go;
they'll think I'm pooping.Copy !req
658. Ha!Copy !req
659. That's my kitchen radio.Copy !req
660. Yeah, I need to borrow it.Copy !req
661. Finn, what's this?Copy !req
662. Well, we have this assignment
in Glee Club to sing a ballad.Copy !req
663. They're all
about expressingCopy !req
664. the things you can't find
any other way to say.Copy !req
665. Oh, God, Finn, don't.Copy !req
666. Please don't.Copy !req
667. No, I need to do thisCopy !req
668. for both of us.Copy !req
669. ~~ You're having my baby ~~Copy !req
670. ~~ What a lovely way of saying
how much you love me ~~Copy !req
671. ~~ You're having my baby ~~Copy !req
672. ~~ What a lovely way of saying ~~Copy !req
673. ~~ What you're thinking of me ~~Copy !req
674. ~~ I can see it ~~Copy !req
675. ~~ Your face is glowing ~~Copy !req
676. ~~ I can see it in your eyes ~~Copy !req
677. ~~ I'm happy you know it ~~Copy !req
678. ~~ That you're having my baby ~~Copy !req
679. ~~ You're the woman I love ~~Copy !req
680. ~~ And I love
what it's doing to you ~~Copy !req
681. ~~ You're having my baby ~~Copy !req
682. ~~ You're a woman in love
and I love ~~Copy !req
683. ~~ What's going through you ~~Copy !req
684. ~~ The need inside you ~~Copy !req
685. ~~ I see it showing ~~Copy !req
686. ~~ Whoa, the seed ~~Copy !req
687. ~~ Inside you, baby... ~~
(turns music off)Copy !req
688. There must be
some sort of mistake here.Copy !req
689. Quinnie,Copy !req
690. we raised you right.Copy !req
691. You... you did.Copy !req
692. We didn't even have sex.Copy !req
693. I'm sorry. Can we just stop
with the lying, please?Copy !req
694. But I...
When you were about
five years old,Copy !req
695. I took you and your sister down
to an Indians game.Copy !req
696. All the other dads
brought their sons,Copy !req
697. but my two girlsCopy !req
698. were enough for me.Copy !req
699. Daddy.Copy !req
700. Your sister made it
through the whole game,Copy !req
701. but you fell asleep in my lap.Copy !req
702. I kept hoping nothing
exciting would happen,Copy !req
703. 'cause I didn't want
the crowd to get too loud—Copy !req
704. wake you up.Copy !req
705. Didn't matter.Copy !req
706. You stayed asleep in my armsCopy !req
707. till the game ended.Copy !req
708. Daddy, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
709. You need to leave.Copy !req
710. Wait.Copy !req
711. Please, Daddy can we
talk about this?Copy !req
712. Finn is a good guy.Copy !req
713. He loves me.Copy !req
714. You, too.Copy !req
715. Get out of my house.Copy !req
716. You can't do that.
She didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
717. Please, Mrs. Fabray,
do something.Copy !req
718. Don't bother, Finn.Copy !req
719. If she wanted to do something,
she would'veCopy !req
720. when she found out
that I was pregnant.Copy !req
721. You knew?Copy !req
722. I— no.Copy !req
723. She didn't tell me anything.Copy !req
724. But you knew.Copy !req
725. And I needed you.Copy !req
726. I needed my mom.Copy !req
727. And you were so scared
of what he would doCopy !req
728. if he found outCopy !req
729. you just pushed it asideCopy !req
730. like we doCopy !req
731. every bad feeling in this house.Copy !req
732. If you don't talk about it,
it doesn't exist.Copy !req
733. Now do not turn this on us!Copy !req
734. You are the
disappointment here!Copy !req
735. Why?Copy !req
736. Because I'm not a little girl
anymore?Copy !req
737. Because I made a mistake?Copy !req
738. Who are you?Copy !req
739. I don't recognize you at all.Copy !req
740. I'm your daughter.Copy !req
741. Who loves you.Copy !req
742. And who knows this must
be really hard for you,Copy !req
743. but I just need my daddy
to hold me,Copy !req
744. and tell me that it's
going to be okay.Copy !req
745. Please.Copy !req
746. (sobbing)
Judy!Copy !req
747. Honey, how many times
have I told you,Copy !req
748. you gotta turn these T-shirts
right side out before you...Copy !req
749. Um...Copy !req
750. Mom, Quinn's parents
threw her out.Copy !req
751. Could she stay here
for a couple of days?Copy !req
752. Yeah, of course she can.Copy !req
753. Honey, you can stay here
as long as you want.Copy !req
754. Hey, Barbra Streisand,Copy !req
755. we need to have
a little talk.Copy !req
756. I have nothing to say
to you, Pepper.Copy !req
757. If you continue to stalk me,
I'll press charges.Copy !req
758. Everyone knows
what you are.Copy !req
759. You're the school crazy.Copy !req
760. I was crazy.Copy !req
761. Crazy in love.Copy !req
762. There's nothing you can say
that's going to changeCopy !req
763. the way I feel
about Mr. Schuester.Copy !req
764. Ours is a love for the ages.Copy !req
765. Your threats will just make
our love grow stronger.Copy !req
766. Let me tell you a few things
I learnedCopy !req
767. from two years
of intense psychotherapyCopy !req
768. and an esophagus transplant.Copy !req
769. Lesson number one:Copy !req
770. You and Shue? It won't work.Copy !req
771. What do you mean?Copy !req
772. We're not so different,
you and me.Copy !req
773. We're both mildly
attractiveCopy !req
774. and extremely grating.Copy !req
775. Love is hard for us.Copy !req
776. We look for boys we know
we can never have.Copy !req
777. Mr. Shue is a perfect targetCopy !req
778. for our self-esteemCopy !req
779. He can never reciprocate
our feelings,Copy !req
780. which only reinforces
the convictionCopy !req
781. that we're not worthy
of being loved.Copy !req
782. Trust me.Copy !req
783. I'm a cautionary tale.Copy !req
784. You need to find some
self-respect, Rachel.Copy !req
785. Get that mildly attractive
groove back.Copy !req
786. Mr. Schuester, I'm ready
when you are!Copy !req
787. The ballad I've selected
has an important messageCopy !req
788. that I'm anxious
for you to hear.Copy !req
789. Rachel, I'm sorry,
I'm going to have to stop you.Copy !req
790. The way you've been acting
is totally inappropriate.Copy !req
791. I'm your teacher, Rachel,
and I'm sorry,Copy !req
792. but that's all
I'm ever going to be.Copy !req
793. I know.Copy !req
794. I...Copy !req
795. brought these for you
as an apology.Copy !req
796. And the song I was
going to sing was,Copy !req
797. "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest
Word" by Elton John,Copy !req
798. 'cause I know
how much you love it.Copy !req
799. I'm such an idiot.Copy !req
800. Mooning over you
and cleaning your apartment...Copy !req
801. Hey.Copy !req
802. It's okay.Copy !req
803. I know it's not always
easy for you, Rachel.Copy !req
804. And I know that there are
some things about yourselfCopy !req
805. that you think
you'd like to change.Copy !req
806. (sniffling)
But you should know that
there is some boy out thereCopy !req
807. who's going to like you
for everything you are.Copy !req
808. Including those parts of you
that even you don't like.Copy !req
809. Those are going to be
the things he likes the most.Copy !req
810. Thanks, Mr. Shue.Copy !req
811. What do you say
we ditch rehearsal today?Copy !req
812. I've got to be honest, Rachel,Copy !req
813. you've never really needed
much help with your ballads.Copy !req
814. You've been knocking them out
of the park since day one.Copy !req
815. Do you like them?Copy !req
816. They're great.Copy !req
817. So they just kicked her out?Copy !req
818. Yeah.Copy !req
819. Gave her half an hour to pack.Copy !req
820. Father set the timer
on the microwave.Copy !req
821. I'm sorry.Copy !req
822. I guess my plan
kind of sucked.Copy !req
823. No, uh, this is good.Copy !req
824. No more secrets.Copy !req
825. You know, everything's
out there—Copy !req
826. all the feelings.Copy !req
827. And that's better, right?Copy !req
828. Yes. Better.Copy !req
829. Good.Copy !req
830. All right, well, uh,
let's work on your ballad.Copy !req
831. You were really helpful
when I was trying to find mine.Copy !req
832. So what is it?Copy !req
833. "I Honestly Love You."Copy !req
834. Sounds awesome.Copy !req
835. I don't know the song,
or whatever,Copy !req
836. but it sounds positive
and nice and stuff.Copy !req
837. Hey, you two.Copy !req
838. We need to go
to the choir room.Copy !req
839. Why?Copy !req
840. Because there's something
we want to give you and Quinn.Copy !req
841. Is there a cake?Copy !req
842. No, there's no cake.Copy !req
843. Oh.
Be quiet
and sit down.Copy !req
844. Hi, Quinn.Copy !req
845. Do you know
what's going on?Copy !req
846. Your fellow Glee Club membersCopy !req
847. want to sing a song
for you guysCopy !req
848. to let you know
how they feel about you.Copy !req
849. What are you
going to sing?Copy !req
850. Just listen.Copy !req
851. The song says everything.Copy !req
852. ~~ Hum ~~Copy !req
853. ("Lean On Me" begins)
~~ hum-hum-hum-hum ~~Copy !req
854. ~~ Hum-hum-hum-hum ~~Copy !req
855. ~~ Hum-hum-hum-hum ~~
~~ Hold on ~~Copy !req
856. ~~ Sometimes in our lives ~~Copy !req
857. ~~ We all have pain ~~Copy !req
858. ~~ We all have sorrow ~~Copy !req
859. ~~ But if we are wise ~~Copy !req
860. ~~ We know that
there's always tomorrow ~~Copy !req
861. ~~ Lean on me ~~Copy !req
862. ~~ When you're not strong ~~Copy !req
863. ~~ And I'll be your friend ~~Copy !req
864. ~~ I'll help you carry on ~~Copy !req
865. ~~ For it won't be long ~~Copy !req
866. ~~ Till I'm gonna need
somebody to lean on ~~Copy !req
867. ~~ Just lean on me ~~Copy !req
868. ~~ Call on your brother ~~Copy !req
869. ~~ Hey ~~Copy !req
870. ~~ When you need a friend ~~Copy !req
871. ~~ We all need somebody
to lean on ~~Copy !req
872. ~~ Somebody to lean on ~~Copy !req
873. ~~ I just might have a problem ~~Copy !req
874. ~~ That you'll understand ~~Copy !req
875. ~~ We all need somebody
to lean on ~~Copy !req
876. ~~ Lean on me ~~Copy !req
877. ~~ Oh, oh if there is a load ~~Copy !req
878. ~~ There's a load ~~Copy !req
879. ~~ You have to face ~~
~~ You have to face ~~Copy !req
880. ~~ That you can't carry ~~Copy !req
881. ~~ I am right up the road ~~Copy !req
882. ~~ I'll share your load ~~Copy !req
883. ~~ If you just call me ~~Copy !req
884. ~~ Call me ~~
~~ I'm calling ~~Copy !req
885. ~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
886. ~~ When you need a friend ~~
~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
887. ~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
888. ~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
889. ~~ Call me ~~
~~ When you need a friend ~~Copy !req
890. ~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
891. ~~ Any time of day ~~Copy !req
892. ~~ Call me ~~Copy !req
893. ~~ Ooh, it won't be long ~~Copy !req
894. ~~ Till I'm gonna need ~~Copy !req
895. ~~ Somebody to lean on ~~Copy !req
896. ~~ Lean on, lean on me ~~Copy !req
897. ~~ Lean on, lean on ~~Copy !req
898. ~~ Lean on me ~~
~~ Lean on me ~~Copy !req
899. ~~ Lean on, lean on ~~
~~ Hey, hey, hey ~~Copy !req
900. ~~ Lean on me ~~
~~ You can lean on me ~~Copy !req
901. ~~ I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on ~~Copy !req
902. ~~ Gonna need somebody
to lean on ~~
~~ Hey... ~~Copy !req
903. ~~ Somebody to lean on. ~~Copy !req