1. You think this is hard?
Try being waterboarded. That's hard.Copy !req
2. Guys.Copy !req
3. Making some new friends, Kurt?Copy !req
4. He sure is, Mr. Schue.Copy !req
5. Hey, Finn. You still owe me
that report on...Copy !req
6. - What?
- What you did last summer.Copy !req
7. Almost halfway done with
almost all of it, Mr. Schue.Copy !req
8. - It's "Hammer time."
- Please. This is from Marc Jacobs's new collection.Copy !req
9. Wait.Copy !req
10. Okay.Copy !req
11. ¿Cómo está usted? Yo me llamo Guillermo.Copy !req
12. Bueno. Bueno.Copy !req
13. Where's the coffeepot?Copy !req
14. Figgins got rid of it.
Budget cuts.Copy !req
15. You know, I know for a fact that
they are still getting hot java at Carver.Copy !req
16. We should strike.Copy !req
17. Hello, boys. Who needs a pick-me-up?Copy !req
18. - Wow. Lattes.
- Yeah. I'm a bit of a coffee snob.Copy !req
19. Now, the key to a perfect latte...Copy !req
20. is in the temperature of the steamed milk.Copy !req
21. - I like mine scalding.
- Wow.Copy !req
22. - Hi, Emma.
- Hey, Ken.Copy !req
23. - Will, hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
24. - What's with all the lattes?
- Oh, Emma, I just felt so awful...Copy !req
25. that Figgins cut the coffee budget to pay
for a nutritionist for the "Cheerios."Copy !req
26. Yeah. I heard you guys went, like,
$600 over budget on that.Copy !req
27. My performers didn't get on Fox Sports Net
last year because they ate at Bacon Junction.Copy !req
28. Since when are cheerleaders performers?Copy !req
29. Your resentment is delicious.Copy !req
30. Well, I have a "phoner"
in a couple minutes...Copy !req
31. That's an interview on the telephone
with a major media outlet.Copy !req
32. I'll probably do it on my iPhone.Copy !req
33. - Enjoy.
- Thanks a lot, Sue.Copy !req
34. I missed you at the, uh...Copy !req
35. singles mixer last weekend, Emma.Copy !req
36. Yeah, I know.
A big pipe exploded in my building.Copy !req
37. It was wild. I hate
those mixer things though. Don't you?Copy !req
38. I mean, it's like a big meat market.
It's just... Ew.Copy !req
39. I did give my number to a fireman though.Copy !req
40. But he hasn't called.Copy !req
41. There's someone out there for everyone.
I wouldn't even sweat it.Copy !req
42. Mmm. Hey, did you hear
that Sandy Ryerson got fired?Copy !req
43. - Really?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
44. - Who's gonna take over Glee Club?
- I don't know.Copy !req
45. I'd like to take over Glee Club.Copy !req
46. You want to captain the Titanic too?Copy !req
47. I think I can make it great again.
There is no joy in these kids.Copy !req
48. They feel invisible. That's why every one
of them has a MySpace page.Copy !req
49. Sixty bucks a month. That's what I need
to keep this program up.Copy !req
50. A-A-And you... you expect me to pay it?Copy !req
51. Well, I'm certainly not
going to pay for it.Copy !req
52. We're not talking
about Cheerios here, Will.Copy !req
53. They were on Fox Sports Net last year.Copy !req
54. When Glee Club starts bringing
that kind of prestige to the school again...Copy !req
55. you can have all the money you want.Copy !req
56. Until then, 60 bucks a month...Copy !req
57. and you've got to use
the costumes and props we already have.Copy !req
58. But we need the stools for wood shop.Copy !req
59. Hiding the $60 a month
from my wife, Terri, was gonna be hard.Copy !req
60. But I had a bigger problem.
How was I gonna get these kids motivated?Copy !req
61. One thing I knew for sure...
we needed a new name.Copy !req
62. New Directions!Copy !req
63. My name is Mercedes Jones,
and I'm singing...Copy !req
64. Hello. I'm Kurt Hummel,
and I'll be singing "Mr. Cellophane."Copy !req
65. Tina C. "I Kissed a Girl."Copy !req
66. Hi. My name is Rachel Berry...Copy !req
67. and I'll be singing "On My Own"
from the seminal Broadway classic Les Mis.Copy !req
68. Fantastic. Let's hear it.Copy !req
69. You might laugh
because every time I sign my name...Copy !req
70. I put a gold star after it.Copy !req
71. But it's a metaphor.
And metaphors are important.Copy !req
72. My gold stars are a metaphor
for me being a star.Copy !req
73. And just so we're clear,
I want to clear up that hateful rumor...Copy !req
74. that I was the one who turned
that closet case Sandy Ryerson in...Copy !req
75. because he gave Hank Saunders
the solo I deserved.Copy !req
76. That's cockapoopie.Copy !req
77. He was touching Hank, caressing him.Copy !req
78. It was so wrong!Copy !req
79. I am not homophobic.
In fact, I have two gay dads.Copy !req
80. See, I was born out of love.Copy !req
81. My two dads screened potential surrogates
based on beauty and I.Q.Copy !req
82. Then they mixed their sperm together
and used a turkey baster.Copy !req
83. To this day, we don't know
which one is my real dad...Copy !req
84. which I think is pretty amazing.Copy !req
85. My dads spoiled me in the arts.Copy !req
86. I was given dance lessons, vocal lessons...Copy !req
87. anything to give me a competitive edge.Copy !req
88. You might think that all the boys in
school would totally want to tap this...Copy !req
89. but my MySpace schedule keeps me
way too busy to date.Copy !req
90. I try to post a MySpace video every day
just to keep my talent alive and growing.Copy !req
91. Fame is the most important thing
in our culture now.Copy !req
92. And if there's one thing I've learned,
it's that no one's just gonna hand it to you.Copy !req
93. Very nice, Rachel.Copy !req
94. When do we start rehearsals?Copy !req
95. - We suck.
- Uh... It...Copy !req
96. It'll get there.
We... We just need to keep rehearsing.Copy !req
97. Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea
how ridiculous it is to give...Copy !req
98. the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rockin'
the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?Copy !req
99. I think Mr. Schue's using irony
to enhance the performance.Copy !req
100. There's nothing ironic about show choir!Copy !req
101. Rachel.Copy !req
102. Rachel!Copy !req
103. That's sloppy!Copy !req
104. You're sloppy, babies!
It's just disgraceful!Copy !req
105. And I want the agony out of your eyes!Copy !req
106. Uh-uh, Lance. Don't you start crying!Copy !req
107. You are the weak link, pal!
How does it feel to be the weak link, huh?Copy !req
108. - That can't feel very good.
- You changed out of your costume.Copy !req
109. I'm tired of being laughed at.Copy !req
110. You're the best kid in there, Rachel.
That comes with a price.Copy !req
111. Look, I know I'm just a sophomore.
But I can feel the clock ticking away...Copy !req
112. and I don't want to leave high school
with nothing to show for it.Copy !req
113. You get great grades.
You're a fantastic singer.Copy !req
114. Everybody hates me.Copy !req
115. You think Glee Club is gonna change that?Copy !req
116. Being great at something
is going to change it.Copy !req
117. Being a part of something special
makes you special, right?Copy !req
118. I need a male lead
who can keep up with me vocally.Copy !req
119. - Maybe I can coach Artie a little. I...
- Look, Mr. Schue...Copy !req
120. I appreciate what you're trying to do.Copy !req
121. But if you can't give me
what I need, then I'm sorry.Copy !req
122. I'm not gonna make a fool out of myself.Copy !req
123. I can't keep wasting my time with Glee.Copy !req
124. It hurts too much.Copy !req
125. Schuester!Copy !req
126. Figgins wants ya!Copy !req
127. But we just started rehearsals.Copy !req
128. My hands are tied, Schue.
I need the auditorium.Copy !req
129. Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out
for their afternoon meetings.Copy !req
130. Lots of drunks in this town.
They're paying me 10 bucks a head.Copy !req
131. If we show at Regionals, Glee stays.Copy !req
132. If not, the bar is open in the auditorium.Copy !req
133. What is it with you and this club?
You've got only five kids.Copy !req
134. - One of them's a cripple!
- Then I guess you've got nothing to worry about.Copy !req
135. - Fine.
- Yes!Copy !req
136. But you're running detention
for free to make it up to me.Copy !req
137. Deal.Copy !req
138. You put your hands
in the corners like this.Copy !req
139. - Okay?
- I can't do it.Copy !req
140. I'm dyslexic.Copy !req
141. Maybe I should just stick to
towels and washcloths.Copy !req
142. Howard, if you can't fold a fitted sheet,
you cannot work at Sheets 'N' Things.Copy !req
143. Associate return.Copy !req
144. Go. Make sure they have a receipt.Copy !req
145. Someone looks beautiful today. Hi.Copy !req
146. - You look very handsome.
- Thank you.Copy !req
147. - Roast beef on pumpernickel. Your favorite.
- Ohh!Copy !req
148. - Oh, does it have mayo?
- Yeah.Copy !req
149. Will, if my diabetes comes back,
I can't get pregnant.Copy !req
150. - I...
- What is wrong with you?Copy !req
151. Well, I wanted to tell you...Copy !req
152. that I'm gonna have to start workin' late
for the next couple months.Copy !req
153. - I'm, uh, monitoring after-school detention.
- What?Copy !req
154. I had to make a deal with Figgins
so he wouldn't kill Glee Club.Copy !req
155. But, Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day,
three times a week here.Copy !req
156. Now I have to go home
and I have to cook dinner for myself?Copy !req
157. This lady wants to return these sheets.Copy !req
158. But something tells me
we've got another bed wetter.Copy !req
159. Do you see what
I have to deal with here, hmm?Copy !req
160. God, hasn't she ever heard of a diaper?Copy !req
161. Of course towels
have a thread count, Mr...Copy !req
162. Sheets 'N' Things!Copy !req
163. What do you do?
I read catalogs! I know these things.Copy !req
164. Anything under a 400-thread count
and I could break out in impetigo!Copy !req
165. It's simple to understand! William?Copy !req
166. Sandy? Hey!Copy !req
167. Well, hello. How are things?Copy !req
168. I hear you have taken over Glee Club.Copy !req
169. Yeah. I hope you're not too upset.Copy !req
170. Are you kidding? Getting out
of that swirling eddy of despair...Copy !req
171. best thing that ever happened to me.Copy !req
172. Don't get me wrong.
It wasn't easy at first.Copy !req
173. Being dismissed.
And for what I was accused of?Copy !req
174. My long-distance girlfriend
in Cleveland nearly broke up with me.Copy !req
175. Oh, God. Don't you love a good monkey?Copy !req
176. It took me weeks to get over
my nervous breakdown.Copy !req
177. - Did they put you on medication?
- Better. Medical marijuana.Copy !req
178. It's genius!Copy !req
179. I just tell my Dr. Feelgood
I'm having trouble sleeping...Copy !req
180. and he gives me all of it I want.Copy !req
181. I'm finding the whole system
quite lucrative.Copy !req
182. - You're a drug dealer?
- Oh, yeah. Make five times more
than when I was a teacher.Copy !req
183. I keep some for myself
and then I take money baths in the rest.Copy !req
184. Who-Who do you sell it to?Copy !req
185. You want in?Copy !req
186. Uh, no.
I tried it once in college.Copy !req
187. But Terri and I are
trying to get pregnant.Copy !req
188. - I do my own packaging.
- Sandy, no...Copy !req
189. And the first sample is free. Come on.Copy !req
190. You are the one coaching those tone-deaf
acne factories. You're gonna need it.Copy !req
191. What? This looks like barf.Copy !req
192. Okay? I have to do everything myself.Copy !req
193. Call me. Come on.Copy !req
194. What's the matter with you?
Scary.Copy !req
195. Hey, Sue. C-Can I have a sec?Copy !req
196. Sure, buddy. Come on in.Copy !req
197. Eew!Copy !req
198. Hey, Emma. You got a second?Copy !req
199. - What is that? Gum?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
200. So you want to talk to my Cheerios
about joining Glee Club?Copy !req
201. Well, I need more kids... Performers.Copy !req
202. And all the best ones are in the Cheerios.Copy !req
203. I figured some of them
might want to double up.Copy !req
204. Okay. So what you're doing right now
is called blurring the lines.Copy !req
205. High school is a caste system.
Kids fall into certain slots.Copy !req
206. Your jocks,
your popular kids, up in the penthouse.Copy !req
207. The invisibles and the kids playing
live-action druids and trolls out in the forest...Copy !req
208. bottom floor.Copy !req
209. And... where do the Glee kids lie?Copy !req
210. Sub-basement.Copy !req
211. Sue's not wrong.
But I don't think anything's set in stone.Copy !req
212. I mean, kids are gonna do what they think
is cool, which is not always who they are.Copy !req
213. - You just need to find a way to
get them out of their boxes.
- Well, how do I do that?Copy !req
214. They follow the leader. If you can get
a couple of the popular kids to sign up...Copy !req
215. the rest will fall right in line.Copy !req
216. - I just want to talk to them.
- I don't know, dude.Copy !req
217. I can't see any of my guys
wanting to join the Glee Club.Copy !req
218. Last month, they held down one of their
teammates, shaved off his eyebrows...Copy !req
219. just because he watched Grey's Anatomy.Copy !req
220. - Look, all I'm looking for is an introduction.
- Fine.Copy !req
221. You gotta put a good word
in for me with Emma.Copy !req
222. - There you go, Cinderella.
- Thank you.Copy !req
223. I have trouble with things like that.
The, um... The messy things.Copy !req
224. Yeah.Copy !req
225. It's really nice
how much you care about Glee.Copy !req
226. About the kids.Copy !req
227. If you really care about these kids,
you'll leave well enough alone.Copy !req
228. Children like to know where they stand.Copy !req
229. So let your little Glee kids
have their little club.Copy !req
230. But don't pretend that any of them
are something they're not.Copy !req
231. Circle up!Copy !req
232. Now Mr. Schuester is gonna talk to you.Copy !req
233. You don't listen, you do laps.
You mouth off, you do laps.Copy !req
234. Got it? They're all yours, Will.Copy !req
235. Thanks, Ken. Hey, guys.
How you doing?Copy !req
236. I think I recognize some of you
from Spanish class. But, uh, I'm...Copy !req
237. I'm here today to talk to you
about something different. Uh, music.Copy !req
238. Glee Club needs guys.Copy !req
239. I can sing.Copy !req
240. Really? That's fantastic.Copy !req
241. - You wanna hear?
- Yeah.Copy !req
242. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
243. Laps.Copy !req
244. I'm gonna put the sign-up sheet at the door.
So if anyone wants to sign up, please...Copy !req
245. Thank you.Copy !req
246. Dismissed!
Puck, in my office in five minutes.Copy !req
247. You been sleeping okay?
Your eyes look a little bloodshot.Copy !req
248. I got allergies.Copy !req
249. Okay, buddy. Thanks again.Copy !req
250. I honestly thought
that was the end of the very brief...Copy !req
251. fever dream that was New Directions.Copy !req
252. I suddenly realized why I had wanted to
do this thing in the first place.Copy !req
253. It was seeing the gift in a kid that
they didn't even know they had.Copy !req
254. It was pure talent.Copy !req
255. What I did then was
the blackest moment of my life.Copy !req
256. You want to tell me
how long you've had a drug problem?Copy !req
257. I don't even know who the chronic lady is.Copy !req
258. Look, if it were up to me, we wouldn't
have mandatory biweekly locker checks.Copy !req
259. But I've never seen that before, Mr. Schue.
I swear. It's not mine!Copy !req
260. I'll pee in a cup!Copy !req
261. - I'll pee.
- Look, it wouldn't make any difference.Copy !req
262. Possession is eight-tenths of the law.Copy !req
263. I'm pretty sure that much pot
is a felony. Yeah.Copy !req
264. Look, you'll get kicked out of school.Copy !req
265. You'll lose your football scholarship.Copy !req
266. Wait, I...
I had a football scholarship? To-To where?Copy !req
267. - You could land in prison, son.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
268. Please, don't tell my mom.Copy !req
269. Look, I see a lot of myself in you, Finn.Copy !req
270. I know what it's like to struggle
to make good life choices.Copy !req
271. And I don't want to see you throw away
everything you have to offer the world.Copy !req
272. I just expected more out of you, Finn.Copy !req
273. That really got to me
when Mr. Schuester said that.Copy !req
274. Because every day of my life,
I expect more out of myself.Copy !req
275. See, I might look confident
and everything.Copy !req
276. But I really struggle with the same thing
other kids do. Peer pressure, backne.Copy !req
277. I never knew my dad. He died in Iraq when we
were fighting Osama bin Laden the first time.Copy !req
278. Hold on, hold on.
Finn! Finn! Finn!Copy !req
279. Please! I'm on the phone.Copy !req
280. I just want to trade
next Saturday's shift for this Saturday...Copy !req
281. because Finn's got
a parents' night for Cub Scouts.Copy !req
282. My mom and me, we're real close.Copy !req
283. But being a single parent can be hard.Copy !req
284. The only good time for Mom was when we
splurged a little bit and ordered Emerald Dreams.Copy !req
285. Darren was good to her.Copy !req
286. And he was cool about letting me hang out.Copy !req
287. You got a voice, buddy.Copy !req
288. Seriously, if I had that voice,
my band would still be together.Copy !req
289. Stick with it!Copy !req
290. My mom took it real hard when Darren
left her for that girl he met at Pic'N'Save.Copy !req
291. It was at that moment I decided to do
whatever it took to make my mom proud of me...Copy !req
292. make her feel
all her sacrifice was worth it.Copy !req
293. We have two options here.Copy !req
294. I'm running detention now,
so you can do six weeks after school.Copy !req
295. But that's gonna remain
on your permanent record.Copy !req
296. What's the other option, Mr. Schue?Copy !req
297. Look, I'm not down with this
background singing nonsense!Copy !req
298. I'm Beyoncé!
I ain't no Kelly Rowland.Copy !req
299. Okay, look, Mercedes.
It's just one song.Copy !req
300. And it's the first time
we've been kind of good.Copy !req
301. Okay. You're good, white boy.
I'll give you that.Copy !req
302. But you better bring it.
Let's run it again.Copy !req
303. All right. Let's do it. From the top.Copy !req
304. You usually don't let me
in your craft room.Copy !req
305. Isn't this fun? And challenging?Copy !req
306. Every Wednesday
we're gonna have puzzle night...Copy !req
307. because I know how important
it is for you to have a creative outlet.Copy !req
308. You know,
the kids have been working so hard.Copy !req
309. I was thinking about taking them
on a field trip next Saturday.Copy !req
310. Carmel High's performing
a showcase down in Akron.Copy !req
311. Carmel's gonna be the team
to beat at Regionals...Copy !req
312. and I was wondering if you might
want to come chaperone with me.Copy !req
313. - On Saturday? Oh, I can't.
- Oh.Copy !req
314. I had to pick up an extra shift at work,
Will. We're living paycheck to paycheck.Copy !req
315. How much of that paycheck
goes to your Pottery Barn credit card?Copy !req
316. I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
317. Don't go in the Christmas closet!Copy !req
318. I was looking for my jacket
the other day. Come on!Copy !req
319. - We cannot afford this stuff, Terri!
- But we could, Will!Copy !req
320. Yes, I am a shoo-in to be promoted during
the Christmas week at Sheets 'N' Things!Copy !req
321. I reek of management potential!
And they're hiring at H.W. Menken!Copy !req
322. My passion is teaching, Terri!
For the last time, I don't want to be an accountant!Copy !req
323. Dr. Phil said people could change.
It's not a bad thing to want a real life, Will.Copy !req
324. And to have a glue gun that works!Copy !req
325. You know, it's really hard
for me not having the things that I need.Copy !req
326. Oh! And you need three
mahogany toilet brush holders?Copy !req
327. They're Balinese!Copy !req
328. It is not a bad thing
to want things, Will.Copy !req
329. I understand your interest
in these kids, Will.Copy !req
330. I really do. Yeah.Copy !req
331. It's your way of
recapturing your glory days.Copy !req
332. But I'm not
the high school cheerleader anymore...Copy !req
333. and you are not the golden boy.Copy !req
334. High school's over for both of us.Copy !req
335. It's time that you move on.Copy !req
336. You're the quarterback!Copy !req
337. - Coach, it's temporary...
- No! I don't want to hear it!Copy !req
338. You make a decision.
Either you're a football player or you're a singer!Copy !req
339. Hey, what's going on?Copy !req
340. Oh, it's... I just... I have to miss
practice Saturday afternoon.Copy !req
341. It's, uh, my mom.
I gotta help her cook and, uh, do things.Copy !req
342. Why?Copy !req
343. She just had, uh, surgery.Copy !req
344. What kind of surgery?Copy !req
345. Uh, well, she, uh, had to
have her prostate out.Copy !req
346. Man, that's a tough break.Copy !req
347. Yeah. It's, uh, engorged.Copy !req
348. You think this is hard?
I'm living with hepatitis. That's hard!Copy !req
349. You stole my quarterback.Copy !req
350. Okay, look, Finn's got a great voice.Copy !req
351. He just wants to express himself.Copy !req
352. - You're screwing up my life.
- Okay, Ken? You hate football.Copy !req
353. What's this really about?Copy !req
354. Hey, M&M.Copy !req
355. So, I got tickets
to monster trucks this weekend.Copy !req
356. - Loge tickets.
- No, thanks. Not my thing.Copy !req
357. Truckzilla vs. Truckosaurus.
And get this... the trucks breathe fire.Copy !req
358. Ken, look, you know how every time you ask
me out, I tell you I'm on my period?Copy !req
359. - Which doesn't bother me.
- Or I tell you I'm suffering from cluster headaches.Copy !req
360. Or I'm allergic to nighttime.Copy !req
361. Those things? Not really true.Copy !req
362. - I'm just not interested in dating you...
- Shh.Copy !req
363. How do I get you... into my hatchback?Copy !req
364. Okay, Ken, fine. Make me say it.
I like somebody else.Copy !req
365. Nothing I can do about it because they're
unavailable, so I have to deal with that, but...Copy !req
366. You're right. I'm overreacting.Copy !req
367. - The herd will take care of it.
- The herd?Copy !req
368. The student body.Copy !req
369. The second someone tries to rise above,
be different, herd pulls 'em back in.Copy !req
370. So... Oh, and by the way...Copy !req
371. thanks for putting a good word
in for me with Emma, buddy.Copy !req
372. I guess you just want her
for yourself, huh?Copy !req
373. Adios, amigo.Copy !req
374. - You're very talented.
- Really?Copy !req
375. Yeah.Copy !req
376. I would know. I'm very talented too.Copy !req
377. I think the rest of the team
expects us to become an item.Copy !req
378. You, the hot male lead...Copy !req
379. and me, the stunning young ingénue
everyone roots for.Copy !req
380. Well, I, uh, have a girlfriend.Copy !req
381. Really? Who?Copy !req
382. Quinn Fabray.Copy !req
383. Cheerleader Quinn Fabray?Copy !req
384. The president of the celibacy club?Copy !req
385. Wait.Copy !req
386. Let's pray.Copy !req
387. For almost four months now.
She's cool.Copy !req
388. I wonder if they have Sour Patch Kids.Copy !req
389. Those kielbasas look like
they've been there a while.Copy !req
390. Do you want to go halfsies on a P.B. and J?Copy !req
391. - That sounds perfect.
- Yeah?Copy !req
392. Yeah. Let's go.Copy !req
393. Sorry. Excuse me.Copy !req
394. I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich in... a really long time.Copy !req
395. - Really?
- Yeah. My wife's allergic to nuts.Copy !req
396. Oh. Oh.
Well, that's really sweet though.Copy !req
397. Not eating something because she can't.Copy !req
398. - Oh. Yeah.
- It's very nice.Copy !req
399. Oh, that's really noisy.Copy !req
400. But they're clean.Copy !req
401. - Oh, my gosh.
- There you go.Copy !req
402. - How, um...
- Mmm.Copy !req
403. How long have you two been married?Copy !req
404. Mmm, five years last March.Copy !req
405. - Really? Mmm.
- Yeah.Copy !req
406. But we've been together since high school.Copy !req
407. She was my first girlfriend, actually.Copy !req
408. Was it love at first sight?Copy !req
409. For me it was.Copy !req
410. I don't know.
She used to be filled with so much joy.Copy !req
411. And now?Copy !req
412. Ah, showtime.Copy !req
413. - You don't want to hear
about my marital problems.
- No, I do.Copy !req
414. I do... I'd love to hear... You... I'm not happy
that you have marital problems.Copy !req
415. - People talk to me a lot
because I'm a guidance counselor.
- Okay, here's the thing.Copy !req
416. - Terri rides me hard,
and I've always appreciated it.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
417. I figure she just wants me
to be better, you know?Copy !req
418. But lately, though,
I keep asking myself, better at what?Copy !req
419. Making money? Being upwardly mobile?
Thank you.Copy !req
420. I don't know. I love her.
Don't get me wrong.Copy !req
421. - But we just gotta get back on the same page.
- Did you like the sandwich?Copy !req
422. Oh, my God.
It's, like, the best I've ever had.Copy !req
423. Hey, guys. So this is supposed
to be our "competition."Copy !req
424. But I honestly don't think that
they've got the talent that we've got.Copy !req
425. But let's be a good audience. Give them
some of that old McKinley High respect.Copy !req
426. Please give a warm
Buckeye State welcome...Copy !req
427. to last year's regional champion,
Vocal Adrenaline!Copy !req
428. We're d-d-doomed.Copy !req
429. Chicks don't have prostates.Copy !req
430. I looked it up. You broke the rules.Copy !req
431. For that, you must be punished.Copy !req
432. Wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
433. Wait, y-you've got the power here.Copy !req
434. Y-You don't have to do this!Copy !req
435. There's my baby.Copy !req
436. Wow, honey.Copy !req
437. This is amazing. What...
What's the congratulations for?Copy !req
438. The kids haven't won anything yet.Copy !req
439. I'm pregnant.Copy !req
440. - Really?
- Yeah!Copy !req
441. Terri, don't mess with me.Copy !req
442. Oh, my God. This is amazing!Copy !req
443. We're gonna be a family.Copy !req
444. Oh, my God!Copy !req
445. Oh, I can't believe it.Copy !req
446. You're leaving us? When?Copy !req
447. I've given my two-weeks notice.Copy !req
448. But I promise I'm gonna find you guys
a great replacement before I go.Copy !req
449. Is this 'cause those Carmel kids were so good?
Because we can work harder.Copy !req
450. This isn't fair, Mr. Schuester.
We can't do this without you.Copy !req
451. So does that mean that I don't have to be
in the club anymore, or...Copy !req
452. Look, this isn't about you guys.Copy !req
453. Being an adult is about
having to make difficult choices.Copy !req
454. It's not like high school.Copy !req
455. Sometimes you have to give up
the things that you love.Copy !req
456. One day you guys are gonna grow up
and understand that.Copy !req
457. I have... loved being your teacher.Copy !req
458. That's why he gave Figgins his notice.Copy !req
459. Really?Copy !req
460. Need help grading those papers?Copy !req
461. It's actually an application
for H.W. Menken. They're hiring.Copy !req
462. Come on. Accounting is sexy.Copy !req
463. I'll miss you.Copy !req
464. - Before you leave, can you do me a favor?
- Yeah.Copy !req
465. I made an appointment for you tomorrow...
in the career center.Copy !req
466. You need some guidance.Copy !req
467. I'm having a kid, Emma.Copy !req
468. What I need is better benefits.Copy !req
469. Just come, Will, for me.Copy !req
470. - Didn't see you at Glee Club today.
- Is that still happening?Copy !req
471. - I've taken over.
- Oh.Copy !req
472. I'm interim director, but I expect
the position will become permanent.Copy !req
473. - Hi, Finn. RuPaul.
- Hey.Copy !req
474. - What are you doing talking to her?
- Oh...Copy !req
475. Science project. We're partners.Copy !req
476. Christ Crusaders tonight
at 5:00, my house.Copy !req
477. Sounds great.Copy !req
478. Look, I should go.Copy !req
479. I can't do Glee anymore.
It conflicts with...Copy !req
480. Your reputation?Copy !req
481. You've really got something, Finn,
and you're throwing it away.Copy !req
482. - I-I'm gonna be late.
- You can't keep worrying about what people think.Copy !req
483. You're better than all of them.Copy !req
484. What do you want me to do, apologize?Copy !req
485. That's not me, dude.Copy !req
486. Look, if I joined the flag team,
you'd beat the crap out of me.Copy !req
487. I just don't understand why you did it.Copy !req
488. Schuester told me he'd give me enough
extra credit to pass Spanish if I joined the club.Copy !req
489. I didn't have a choice. If I failed
another class, I'd be off the team.Copy !req
490. Look, it's over. Okay?
I quit. Anything else?Copy !req
491. No, that's it.Copy !req
492. And as a welcome back to the world
of the normal, I got you a present.Copy !req
493. What's that noise?Copy !req
494. Oh, God! Help! Help!Copy !req
495. - Help!
- Is someone in there?Copy !req
496. We got that wheelchair kid inside.
We're gonna flip it.Copy !req
497. Isn't that kind of dangerous?Copy !req
498. He's already in a wheelchair.Copy !req
499. Come on, dude.
We saved you the first roll.Copy !req
500. Oh!Copy !req
501. Thank you. Thank you so much.Copy !req
502. Thank you.
Oh, my God. The smell.Copy !req
503. What the hell, dude?
I can't believe you're helping out this loser.Copy !req
504. Don't you get it, man?
We're all losers.Copy !req
505. Everyone in this school.Copy !req
506. Hell, everyone in this town.Copy !req
507. Out of all the kids who graduate,
maybe half will go to college.Copy !req
508. And... And two will leave
the state to do it.Copy !req
509. I'm not afraid of being called a loser,
'cause I can accept that that's what I am.Copy !req
510. But I am afraid
of turning my back on something...Copy !req
511. that actually made me happy
for the first time in my sorry life.Copy !req
512. So, what? Are you quitting
to join Homo Explosion?Copy !req
513. No. I'm doing both.Copy !req
514. 'Cause you can't win without me,
and neither can they.Copy !req
515. - Go, go!
- Track, track, track, Ronnie.Copy !req
516. Look, you guys.
These steps are not hard.Copy !req
517. I've been doing them since preschool.Copy !req
518. I'm sorry. Did I miss the election for queen?
Because I didn't vote for you.Copy !req
519. I know what I'm talking about. I won my first
dance competition when I was three months old!Copy !req
520. - This is a closed rehearsal.
- Look, I owe you guys an apology.Copy !req
521. I never should've quit.Copy !req
522. I don't want to be the guy that just
drives around throwing eggs at people.Copy !req
523. - That was you?
- You and your friends threw pee balloons at me.Copy !req
524. - I know.
- You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof.Copy !req
525. I wasn't actually there for that,
but I'm really sorry.Copy !req
526. Look, that isn't who I am,
and I'm tired of it.Copy !req
527. This is what I want to be doing,
with you guys.Copy !req
528. I used to think that this was,
like, the lamest thing on earth...Copy !req
529. and maybe it is.Copy !req
530. But we're all here for the same reason...Copy !req
531. 'cause we want to be good at something.Copy !req
532. Artie, you play guitar, right?Copy !req
533. - Think you could recruit the jazz band?
- I do have pull there.Copy !req
534. All right.Copy !req
535. Mercedes, we need new costumes, and
they have got to be cool. Can you do that?Copy !req
536. Damn! Don't you see what I've got on?Copy !req
537. Rachel, you can do choreography.Copy !req
538. Tina, what are you good at?Copy !req
539. - Uh... Uh...
- We'll figure something out for you.Copy !req
540. And what are you bringing to the table,
Justin Timberlake?Copy !req
541. I've got the music.Copy !req
542. I want to show you something.Copy !req
543. I did a little research.Copy !req
544. And this is a tape I found in the library
of the '93 team at Nationals.Copy !req
545. Let's dance!Copy !req
546. That's you happier
than I've ever seen you.Copy !req
547. That was the greatest moment of my life.Copy !req
548. - Why?
- Because I loved what I was doing.Copy !req
549. Yeah, I knew before we were halfway through
with that number that we were gonna win.Copy !req
550. And being a part of that,
in that moment...Copy !req
551. I knew who I was in the world.Copy !req
552. And the only time I felt...
I felt that way since then...Copy !req
553. was when Terri told me
I was gonna be a father.Copy !req
554. No. No.
I need to provide for my family.Copy !req
555. But provide what exactly?Copy !req
556. The understanding that money
is the most important thing?Copy !req
557. Or the idea that the only life
worth living...Copy !req
558. is one that you're really
passionate about, Will?Copy !req
559. Good, guys. It's a nine.Copy !req
560. We need a 10.
Rachel, you need to hit the ones and the fives.Copy !req
561. Finn, I think if we worked on it,
you could hit a high "B."Copy !req
562. So does this mean you're staying?Copy !req
563. It would kill me to see you
win Nationals without me.Copy !req
564. From the top.Copy !req