1. Have you men noticed
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2. how huge my box looks
in these new uniforms?
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3. Well, that's nice to know.
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4. Now, let's just remember to be careful
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5. about the surrounding land.
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6. But how did just this
block of public housing
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7. remain un-demolished?
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8. Aren't there people living here?
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9. Hurricane Katrina evacuees.
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10. They're never going to leave.
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11. What? What are you saying?
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12. No, I'm just messing with you, buddy.
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13. The only residents who
live there are ghosts.
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14. Place is haunted.
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15. They tried to demolish
it, but strange accidents
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16. always seem to keep
that building standing.
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17. You kinda sound like you've been
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18. hanging around my daughter lately.
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19. I'm not so much worried about ghosts
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20. just how much your crew
drinks on the job. Sober up.
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21. You're the boss.
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22. I can't believe people
would even believe in
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23. something as stupid as-
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24. Look out, Ted!
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25. Hey, are you all right, man?
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26. I'm fine.
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27. I know Jim Adler is your brother-in-law,
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28. but why didn't you move? Huh?
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29. Did you see it? That girl.
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30. Huh? What are you talking about?
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31. There's nothing there but poles,
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32. and I don't mean people from Poland.
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33. - But someone was there.
- She was smiling at me.
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34. Oh, stop it. Stop it!
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35. See what I mean? Drinking.
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36. Your dad's in the hospital again?
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37. Have you never heard of Hazelden?
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38. Shut up.
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39. Dear Lord, I'll pray for him.
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40. Dad finally got a job
working for the government
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41. tearing down public housing
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42. and putting up Starbucks franchises.
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43. Dad!
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44. He had an extreme high fever,
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45. and we took him to the emergency room.
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46. But he didn't have insurance yet,
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47. so he had to go to county.
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48. Well, then this intern tells us-
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49. I just started here.
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50. I can't read this chart,
but whatever it is,
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51. they wrote a lot.
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52. Well, I got that loser fired,
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53. and finally found
someone who could tell us
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54. what the hell was going on with my dad.
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55. Seems everyone who worked at that one site
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56. came down with a mysterious
and deadly high fever.
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57. The haunted hood projects.
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58. We psychical researchers know
about that building well.
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59. It's killed many people in this city.
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60. Your father is probably one of them.
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61. I don't see him making it
through this episode alive.
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62. Oh, good job, Leo.
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63. What? It's in the script.
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64. Oh no.
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65. Oh, he's probably just
got alcohol poisoning.
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66. He'll be back home and
drunk again in no time.
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67. We have to try to save him.
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68. If we banish the spirits
of the haunted projects,
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69. Illich- I mean your father,
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70. may make it to the closing credits.
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71. Yes! That's a great idea.
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72. I think I'm getting a little stiffy.
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73. Thank you everyone!
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74. Just leave it to us.
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75. So that's where the minorities live.
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76. I'm going to get beat up, aren't I?
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77. Probably more like robbed and sodomized.
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78. What a dump.
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79. I feel sorry for poor people.
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80. It looks like the West Bank.
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81. What are we going to
do? We can't get in.
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82. "Keep out?" That
never stopped my people.
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83. So much for that.
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84. What? So much for what?
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85. Never let a sign stop you
from illegal activities.
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86. We'll just hop the fence.
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87. Hey!
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88. It's dangerous. You can't go in there.
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89. Read it. Says so right here.
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90. Keep away.
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91. Sorry. I can't.
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92. You have to let us inside, sir.
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93. Or my dad's gonna die.
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94. I've already lost a mother.
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95. You know what my therapy bills are?
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96. Where is your right wing Christianity?
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97. You have to help us.
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98. Well, if you could put it
that way. For Ron Holden.
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99. But it's an old building,
and it's dangerous.
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100. Crack addicts, whores, maybe
Todd Bridges on skates.
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101. What do I say? You can't go in there.
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102. Get lost. Keep away.
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103. How are we going to
break this to Illich?
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104. Geez. What a jackass.
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105. And did you see the way
he was looking at Satsuki?
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106. It almost made me think
he was going to be cool.
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107. The righteous man is
rescued from trouble,
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108. says Proverbs 11:8.
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109. Looks like your alcoholic, unsaved father
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110. is going to die. Sorry Satsuki.
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111. What are we going to do if
that guy doesn't let us in?
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112. Don't worry, Leo. I
have a foolproof plan.
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113. We'll all meet back here
and bust in tonight.
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114. Tonight?
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115. Why are we doing this again?
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116. Oh, what's going to happen?
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117. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot
what show we're doing.
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118. Yeah.
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119. What's the matter?
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120. Hey, wait a minute.
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121. Shouldn't we be able to see
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122. the haunted housing block from here?
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123. This is not good.
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124. Guess your dad is good as dead.
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125. Yes, that's what I said.
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126. Could we have gone the wrong way?
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127. Could you possibly be
any more of an idiot?
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128. These people are poor. No streetlamps.
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129. God rewards the righteous.
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130. That's why me and my family are loaded.
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131. What the-
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132. Damn she's got big feet.
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133. They at least dress nice here.
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134. Satsuki, look over there!
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135. She's hot.
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136. Oh no! She's going to kill herself!
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137. Well, she is poor.
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138. Yeah!
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139. Dammit Jim!
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140. Come on, we're going to
have to take the stairs.
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141. Now I know why poor
people bitch all the time.
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142. I'd hate to be having to
be carrying all those babies.
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143. If they have to take the
stairs like this every day,
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144. why are they all so fat?
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145. I saw "Super Size Me,"
it's the French fries.
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146. We need to find someone
to call the police.
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147. Although they're probably
used to getting calls
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148. like that from this place.
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149. There! The one that paid their bill.
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150. Any day now, welfare Willie.
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151. Go away. What do you want?
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152. Look, Papa, someone's
going to kill herself.
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153. Hey, did you pay your phone bill?
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154. Yeah, but I'm stealing my cable.
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155. We need to stop one
of your poor neighbors
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156. from killing herself. Help us please!
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157. So what?
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158. Those who want to die should
be able to if they want to.
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159. But this chick's hot.
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160. If I were you, young fellow,
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161. I'd spend less time worrying
about her and more about you.
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162. Perfect, he's gay.
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163. I did notice he looked
at me quite enticingly.
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164. Probably the Republican
mayor of Spokane.
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165. Come on, if I save her,
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166. there's no way she wouldn't sleep with me.
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167. Stay here. Momoko, don't
let the closet mayor get him.
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168. The poor lady jumped, and our eyes met!
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169. She smiled and she looked right at me!
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170. Why do you always have to
be the center of attention?
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171. I'm the lead!
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172. Maybe she just bounced.
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173. She wasn't that fat.
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174. Looks like things are
picking up around here.
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175. What are you doing
here? Nobody invited you.
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176. It's dinner time and
you didn't feel my dish.
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177. And I'm hungry.
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178. I tried the cabinet, but
I'm as good with door knobs
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179. as the aliens and signs.
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180. But this, watching this
might be even tastier.
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181. What do you mean?
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182. Listen to me, Black Morris.
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183. If you know what's going
on here, you better spill.
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184. You're not very bright, are you Haji?
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185. You've been sucked in by this
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186. good time looking housing project.
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187. We never found
the haunted housing projects.
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188. Yeah, this place
isn't haunted. It's just poor.
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189. Really? Then check out that place again.
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190. The light's out!
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191. I thought for sure he'd lock his door.
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192. What is it?
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193. We know he doesn't have a maid.
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194. I'm glad I'm saved and blessed.
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195. Poor people are disgusting.
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196. I told you.
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197. These aren't your
normal apartments, kids.
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198. These are the projects
of the haunted hood.
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199. You feel me, bitches?
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200. Yeah I hear you, you stupid cat.
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201. That woman was just
a trap to lure you in.
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202. We gotta get outta here!
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203. Dyn-o-mite!
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204. What the hell is going on?
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205. This staircase never ends! WTF?
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206. Look, numbers.
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207. We came from the 11th floor,
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208. and this is making sense
to me. And I'm dyslexic.
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209. You're right, Keiichirou.
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210. I gotta take five.
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211. I'm so tired.
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212. Probably tired from
whining all the damn time.
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213. We can't use the elevator either?
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214. Where our wings as Eagles?
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215. Keiichirou, will you
do it for a scooby snack?
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216. Can I share something with the class?
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217. What?
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218. Don't you all feel just
a little bit different?
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219. Less Jewish, perhaps?
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220. Just a little tired.
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221. Leo!
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222. Leo!
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223. Leo!
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224. Leo!
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225. The situation has
brought him to his knees.
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226. He's accepting Jesus!
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227. Hallelujah.
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228. Hey, get up, you stupid
jerk. Let's get outta here.
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229. Come on!
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230. Leo?
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231. Not giving you mouth to mouth. Get up.
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232. Not in the spirit.
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233. He's a little stiff, and not Leo.
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234. Oh my God, Leo's a mannequin!
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235. Everyone, stay still.
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236. Change of plans.
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237. Hey, that one looks like Kim Cattrall.
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238. Would you all like to accept Jesus now?
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239. Sure, sign me up!
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240. Hajime!
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241. What the hell are you waiting for?
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242. Keiichirou!
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243. I can't understand you.
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244. Dammit, always in the wrong.
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245. Hajime! Keiichirou!
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246. Satsuki! Satsuki!
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247. Hajime! Keiichirou!
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248. Hajime? Keiichirou?
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249. Are you okay?
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250. What do I do?
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251. My mother's gone, my father, Keiichirou.
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252. We won't-
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253. Don't cry, Satsuki.
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254. Maybe, before they were killed,
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255. they had a moment to turn to Jesus.
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256. Go to hell.
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257. You hear that?
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258. What?
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259. Keiichirou, Hajime?
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260. - Can you not even count?
- That's only two feet.
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261. I swear, I have to do
everything for you stupid kids.
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262. Could it be Leo?
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263. You can do it!
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264. I made it.
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265. You're saying you believe us?
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266. Afraid I do, kid.
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267. Do you believe this place
is haunted by the unsaved?
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268. I guess you're right.
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269. But at first I thought they were
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270. just bitter environmentalists.
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271. What?
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272. The energy of
the earth, earth veins.
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273. Hey, put it this way. That
ortho really works.
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274. Have you never seen the
Home and Garden Network?
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275. You think I can afford cable?
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276. I didn't know what I was
doing. I was new on the job.
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277. You kids need to get outta here quick.
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278. You did this? Well
then where is everybody?
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279. Where's my little retarded brother?
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280. He's here, trapped with
the other poor bastards.
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281. I'll take care of it.
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282. Against my better
judgment I'll go with you!
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283. - No, you save yourself!
- And I'm kind of lonely.
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284. You shouldn't get too close.
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285. Okay.
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286. You can change your mind if you want to.
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287. Just a moment, please.
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288. If you know the ghost's
name, wouldn't you please
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289. be kind enough to tell us what it is?
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290. Soma.
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291. Well, thanks.
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292. Satsuki, what are you
waiting for? Get the diary.
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293. Right.
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294. August 10, Soma appeared
at Bridgit's house.
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295. Apparently this is a rare Feng Shui ghost.
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296. And the earth has varicose
veins, like Bridgit. Gross!
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297. In order to make Soma
go to spiritual sleep,
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298. you need to make a doll
into a spirit receptacle,
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299. and then chant a spell in the middle
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300. of the earth's varicose vein.
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301. But unless you patch up the disturbance,
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302. a new Soma will take its place.
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303. You're kidding me.
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304. That means this is just a temporary fix?
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305. Sorry, but your mother was just a bitch.
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306. Come on, you dumb cat.
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307. Why do I have to go with you?
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308. What are you looking at me
for? You didn't even feed me.
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309. Why should I do you a favor?
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310. This little black pussy
staying right here.
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311. Bye!
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312. Yeah, screw the cat.
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313. Good luck, chump.
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314. Let's look for a doll to
use as a spirit receptacle.
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315. Right. But they're poor.
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316. Look for a flour sack, or
something with a diaper on it.
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317. Let's play. Let's play.
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318. Hey. Hey, you there.
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319. Found one! It's ugly, but I found it.
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320. Where'd you go? Hello?
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321. Hey, Momoko!
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322. Momoko!
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323. Oh no. She's dead.
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324. Great. Now you decide to work.
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325. 10th floor, hot elementary
girl named Satsuki.
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326. Keanu?
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327. Looks like it's you and me, Raggedy Ann.
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328. Call me Barbie!
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329. Okay, fine.
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330. Looks like it's you and me, Barbie.
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331. I'm going fucking crazy.
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332. Ow!
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333. If I had a better bra and some ammo,
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334. I'd pull a bitchin'
Sigourney Weaver right now.
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335. Is it fall?
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336. Where's the damn elevator?
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337. Where are you going?
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338. From the goodies. Get in
crunch, or munch. Chunk!
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339. Hey, I laugh at your jokes!
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340. Where the hell are you going?
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341. Come on, Ann, we gotta save those idiots.
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342. You guys-
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343. Hey, Annie, come back!
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344. Bitch, don't pull my hair!
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345. Ow!
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346. Well it's about time!
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347. Hurry up kid, you can still make it!
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348. You need to get to the root
of this problem, and fast.
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349. Where's my doll?
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350. Annie! Oh, that's gotta hurt.
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351. Satsuki, look out!
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352. Watch it.
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353. Warned you before.
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354. But we'll pick this up later.
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355. Do you know how to put this
thing to spiritual sleep?
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356. Yeah, I'm not here for the
gardening lessons, you dope.
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357. Good, you stand in the face
of danger. Chant a spell.
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358. What are you going to do?
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359. I'm going to watch your ass.
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360. It's none of your business
what I'm going to do!
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361. Now move it, sweet cheeks.
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362. Bossy. Okay.
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363. I hate to interrupt your
little May-December romance,
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364. but will you please move your ass? Go!
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365. Double, double, soil and trouble.
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366. Leave me alone, you crappy devil!
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367. I am power!
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368. I can't see. How am I doing?
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369. Look up there.
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370. Up where?
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371. Where are you going?
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372. I think we both know where I'm going.
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373. You're going to be
the spirit receptacle?
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374. Well this was all my fault.
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375. So I guess I better pay for it.
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376. And I'm lonely, horny, and
don't make a lot of money.
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377. What do I have to live for anyway?
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378. Be glad you're young.
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379. That is so nice of you.
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380. Thanks! Mean it!
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381. I hate this neighborhood.
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382. Shut up, you racist.
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383. Oh, guys!
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384. Someone please give me my diabetes shot.
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385. Thanks for the help, fluffy.
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386. Temporary lapse in judgment, honey.
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387. This reminds me of Heather's.
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388. Remember when Christian
Slater had a career?
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389. We're ready to blow, sir.
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390. All right, everyone withdraw.
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391. Sir, yes sir!
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392. My voice isn't usually this bassy,
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393. but it makes the men respect me more.
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394. Well, yes there is that.
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395. And that you threatened
to urinate on them.
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396. Now the black, poor
people will move to my hood.
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