1. Man's voice:
Gentlemen, today I have our communique
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2. from KAOS International.
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3. WE ARE ORDERED
TO STIFLE THE HEARTBEAT
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4. OF THE CENTRAL MILITARY
COMPLEX OF THE UNITED STATES.
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5. THE PENTAGON?
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6. We'll receive details
of the plan at our next meeting.
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7. IF WE ARE TO SUCCEED,
WE MUST HAVE SOMEONE GUIDE US;
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8. SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
THE BUILDING
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9. AND WHO HAS
TOTAL ACCESS TO IT, TOP CLEARANCE.
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10. I KNOW SUCH A MAN.
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11. HE'S A CONTROL AGENT.
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12. Maxwell Smart.
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13. Do you think we can
recruit Maxwell Smart?
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14. For a price.
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15. IF NOT FOR MONEY,
THERE IS ALWAYS THE LOVELY NATASHA.
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16. YOU'RE TALKING FOOLISHLY,
GENTLEMEN.
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17. MAXWELL SMART IS
A DEDICATED LOYAL AGENT.
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18. But he's also stupid.
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19. STOP!
NOBODY SAY ANYTHING.
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20. GIVE ME THAT.
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21. WHERE DID THIS GLASS
WITH THE ICE CUBE COME FROM?
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22. IT WAS HERE
WHEN WE CAME IN.
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23. THAT'S IT, THEY FOUND IT.
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24. FOOLS!
DON'T YOU SEE?
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25. THE ICE IN THIS GLASS
HAS MELTED.
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26. LOOK AT THIS ICE CUBE.
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27. GERMANIUM CRYSTAL...
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28. WITH A TRANSMITTING
DEVICE INSIDE.
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29. ( gasps )
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30. OH.
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31. I CAN'T STAND IT
WHEN THEY BREAK THOSE THINGS.
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32. YOU KNOW, 99,
I REALLY FEEL SORRY FOR PROFESSOR PARKER.
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33. HE SPENT SO MUCH TIME
WORKING ON THAT DEVICE.
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34. - THE ICE CUBE TRANSMITTER?
- YES.
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35. FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS
HE'S TESTED IT IN EVERY KNOWN FLUID.
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36. THAT'S HOW HE GOT
HIS REPUTATION.
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37. - AS A PERFECTIONIST?
- NO, AS A DRUNK.
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38. ( theme music playing )
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39. WATCH IT.
WATCH IT TAKE OFF.
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40. - THE FLY, I KNOW.
- YEAH, OH, THERE HE GOES.
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41. IT'S BEAUTIFUL,
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
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42. OH, ROUND
AND ROUND HE GOES
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43. AND NOW A PERFECT
LANDING.
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44. THAT'S INCREDIBLE,
PROFESSOR. HOW DID YOU DO IT?
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45. HOW DID I DO IT?
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46. TWO AND A HALF YEARS
OF NERVE-RACKING MICRO-MINIATURE FABRICATION
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47. AND $400,000 WORTH
OF RESEARCH AND EQUIPMENT.
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48. DID YOU SEE THOSE
TWO TINY ANTENNA?
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49. - MM-HMM.
- WELL, THE LEFT IS A RECEIVER;
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50. THE RIGHT, A TRANSMITTER.
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51. NOTICE THE LEFT EYE—
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52. THE WORLD'S SMALLEST
RADAR TRACKING DISH.
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53. - WOW.
- A NETWORK OF 7,000
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54. EXQUISITELY DELICATE
WAFER CIRCUITS.
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55. THAT'S MARVELOUS.
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56. UH, SORRY ABOUT YOUR
ICE CUBE, PROFESSOR.
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57. FORGET THE ICE CUBE, MAX,
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
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58. OH PLEASE,
DON'T TELL THEM WHAT IT IS.
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59. I WOULD LIKE MR. SMART
TO LOOK AT YOUR DESK
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60. AND SEE IF HE CAN
DETECT WHICH ITEM IS THE LISTENING DEVICE.
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61. PARKER, I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD DO THAT.
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62. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS,
CHIEF, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
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63. IF HE CAN FOOL MY KEEN EYES,
THE SECURITY OF KAOS IS DOOMED.
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64. EXCUSE ME, 99.
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65. NOW LET'S SEE.
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66. WELL, I DON'T THINK
IT'S THIS MAGAZINE.
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67. IT'S A LITTLE OBVIOUS
AND CLUMSY.
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68. UH...
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69. I DON'T THINK
IT'S THIS PAPERWEIGHT
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70. OR THE CIGARETTE
LIGHTER.
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71. WHAT ABOUT THAT, UH—
THAT FLY?
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72. HUH? OH.
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73. GOT IT.
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74. LOOK, CHIEF,
MAYBE THE PROFESSOR CAN BUILD ANOTHER FLY
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75. OR A MOSQUITO OR A LADYBUG
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
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76. THERE IS
NOT ENOUGH TIME.
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77. MAX, YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO PERSONALLY INFILTRATE KAOS.
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78. THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
YOU HEARD WHAT THEY SAID ON THE RECORDING.
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79. - I'M TOO LOYAL, TOO DEDICATED.
- THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK OF YOU NOW.
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80. BUT YOU ARE GOING
TO GAMBLE AWAY YOUR NEXT SIX MONTHS' SALARY
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81. AND BECOME A STUMBLING,
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82. BUMBLING, DRUNKEN BUM.
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83. - IS THAT AN ORDER, CHIEF?
- THAT'S AN ORDER.
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84. I'LL SEE THAT
WORD GETS OUT ON THE GRAPEVINE TONIGHT
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85. - THAT YOU'LL BE GAMBLING.
- WHERE, CHIEF?
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86. THERE'S AN ILLEGAL
GAMBLING CASINO
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87. THAT KAOS MEN HAVE BEEN
KNOWN TO FREQUENT.
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88. PHASE ONE.
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89. HERE'S A COUPLE
OF THOUSAND DOLLARS.
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90. BET HEAVILY,
LOSE IT AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY SEE YOU.
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91. WELL, THAT SHOULDN'T BE
TOO DIFFICULT, CHIEF.
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92. OH, THERE'S ONE THING, MAX.
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93. I'LL BE THE ONLY ONE
WHO KNOWS YOU'LL BE A DOUBLE AGENT.
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94. RIGHT, CHIEF.
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95. YOU MEAN
WE CAN'T TELL 99?
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96. MAX, KAOS WILL BE WATCHING
YOUR FRIENDS CLOSELY.
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97. YOU MUST CONVINCE THEM
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT YOU'VE GONE BAD.
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98. NOW, MAX, REMEMBER,
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99. ACTING AS A DOUBLE AGENT
IS THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME IN THE WORLD.
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100. THESE MEN ARE KILLERS.
THEY'LL STOP AT NOTHING.
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101. YOU'LL BE LIVING
IN CONSTANT DANGER EVERY MOMENT.
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102. AND...
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103. LOVING IT.
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104. OUR INFORMATION WAS CORRECT.
MAXWELL SMART JUST ENTERED.
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105. 26-BLACK, I GOT IT!
I GOT IT! WHOO-HOO!
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106. LOOK AT THAT PURDY GREEN LETTUCE
ROLLING RIGHT ON BACK HOME.
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107. ( cackles )
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108. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN BETTING
26-BLACK SINCE TUESDAY MORNING
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109. AND THAT LITTLE OLD WAGON WHEEL
FINALLY COME UP WITH IT.
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110. WHOO-HOO!
YOU KNOW, MISTER, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
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111. BUT BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP
I MUST HAVE LOST A COUPLE OF THOUSAND-BARREL OIL WELLS.
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112. NOW YOU JUST STAY RIGHT HERE
BECAUSE YOU AND ME
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113. ARE GONNA BUST THIS
LITTLE GAME WIDE OPEN!
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114. - WELL, THANK YOU,
BUT I HAD OTHER PLANS. - NO NO NO.
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115. I AIN'T GONNA HOLD YOU,
I AIN'T GONNA HOLD YOU.
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116. WHY, YOU CAN'T HOLD BACK
A BONA FIDE ANGEL OF LUCK, NOW CAN YOU?
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117. ( laughs )
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118. HOLD ON, BOY, HOLD ON.
WHY, Y'ALL DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA
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119. LET YOU WALK AWAY UNREWARDED,
NOW DID YOU, HUH?
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120. - I CAN'T—
- AH-HH!
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121. IF YOU DON'T, I JUST
MIGHT GET VERY ANGRY.
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122. - JACKS FULL.
- BEATS ME.
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123. YEAH.
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124. ( groans )
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125. MIND IF I SIT IN?
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126. TABLE STAKES.
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127. THAT'S THE ONLY
GAME I PLAY.
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128. 500.
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129. ANOTHER THOUSAND.
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130. FRESH DECK, PLEASE.
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131. I OPEN. 500.
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132. - I CALL.
- I'M IN.
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133. I CALL.
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134. GIVE ME ONE.
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135. TWO.
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136. THREE.
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137. I'LL TAKE FOUR.
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138. 500.
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139. - I'M OUT.
- I'M OUT.
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140. I CALL YOUR 500
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141. AND I RAISE YOU 500.
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142. I SEE YOU.
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
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143. WELL, GENTLEMEN,
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144. THAT CLEANS ME.
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145. FOUR ACES, YOU WIN.
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146. THAT BEATS ME.
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147. WELL, GENTLEMEN,
THAT'S ALL FOR ME.
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148. I'M TOO LUCKY
IN THIS GAME.
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149. HERE YOU GO, $4,000.
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150. THANK YOU.
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151. ARE YOU CERTAIN
THE KAOS AGENT WAS WATCHING YOU?
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152. EVERYBODY WAS
WATCHING ME, CHIEF.
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153. AND HE DIDN'T
APPROACH YOU?
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154. I'M TELLING YOU, CHIEF,
NOBODY FROM KAOS IS GOING TO APPROACH ME.
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155. I'VE GOT TOO GOOD
A REPUTATION TO LIVE DOWN.
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156. NOT ANYMORE, MAX.
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157. WE'VE SHOWN THEM
THAT YOU'RE A GAMBLER. NOW WE MOVE INTO PHASE TWO:
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158. PHYSICAL DEGRADATION.
YOU'LL BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC.
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159. RIGHT, CHIEF.
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160. - AN ALCOHOLIC?
- MM-HMM.
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161. WELL, WILL THEY TAKE
A HEAVY DRINKER?
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162. MAX, TAKE GOOD
CARE OF THIS.
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163. THE TAILOR
CHARGES A FORTUNE TO RIP IT UP LIKE THAT.
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164. I GOT A DRY CLEANER
THAT'LL DO THIS FOR NOTHING.
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165. HERE, MAX,
YOU'LL NEED SOME OF THESE.
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166. OH, ASPIRIN, GOOD.
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167. PROBABLY NEED A LOT OF ASPIRIN
WITH ALL THAT DRINKING.
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168. NO, MAX, NOT ASPIRIN.
THEY ARE ABSORBO PILLS.
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169. KEEP ONE IN YOUR MOUTH
WHILE YOU'RE DRINKING.
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170. IT'LL ABSORB
ALL THE ALCOHOL OUT OF THE LIQUOR.
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171. SAY, THAT'S WONDERFUL, CHIEF.
THEN I'LL ACT DRUNK,
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172. I'LL LOOK DRUNK,
I'LL EVEN SMELL DRUNK, BUT I'LL BE STONE SOBER.
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173. THAT'S RIGHT, MAX.
NOT ONE DROP OF ALCOHOL WILL REACH YOUR STOMACH.
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174. - UNLESS—
- UNLESS WHAT, CHIEF?
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175. WELL, JUST DON'T SWALLOW
ONE OF THE ABSORBO PILLS.
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176. IF YOU DO,
YOUR STOMACH FLUIDS WILL RELEASE
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177. THE ALCOHOL FROM
THE PILL ALL AT ONCE.
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178. I'LL REMEMBER THAT, CHIEF.
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179. NOW YOU DO YOUR DRINKING
IN CHEZ CHARLES—
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180. THAT'S A SKID-ROW BAR.
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181. WE'LL MAKE SURE KAOS
GETS WIND OF WHERE YOU ARE.
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182. - RIGHT, CHIEF.
- ( knocks on door )
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183. PUT THIS AWAY,
WILL YOU?
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184. COME IN.
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185. THERE YOU ARE, MAX, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.
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186. UH, I—
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
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187. OH, THAT'S OKAY.
COME ON, YOU'VE GOTTA GET HOME AND CHANGE
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188. - OR WE'LL BE LATE
FOR THE CONCERT. - THE CONCERT?
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189. OH, TONIGHT'S SATURDAY NIGHT,
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHEN WE GO TO THE—
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190. SORRY, 99, I CAN'T
MAKE IT TONIGHT. I'M BUSY.
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191. OH... YOU'RE
ON ASSIGNMENT.
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192. WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
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193. YOU'RE ACTING
VERY STRANGELY, MAX.
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194. LOOK, 99, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST FORGET ABOUT ME FOR A FEW DAYS?
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195. MAX, I COULDN'T
FORGET ABOUT YOU.
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196. NOT EVEN
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
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197. - I'M SORRY, 99.
- IS IT ANOTHER GIRL, MAX?
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198. - SORT OF.
- OH, OKAY, UM...
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199. I GUESS, I'LL SEE YOU
IN THE MORNING THEN.
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200. - GOOD NIGHT, CHIEF.
- GOOD NIGHT, 99.
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201. MAX, UNTIL YOUR MISSION
IS A SUCCESS,
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202. SHE'LL LEARN TO DO
WITHOUT YOU.
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203. YEAH, CHIEF,
BUT WHAT IF MY MISSION IS A FAILURE?
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204. WE'LL ALL LEARN
TO DO WITHOUT YOU.
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205. ALEX, HE'S HERE ALL RIGHT.
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206. DRINKING LIKE IT'S
GOING OUT OF STYLE.
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207. THROAT LOZENGES,
SORE THROAT.
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208. OH.
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209. - BARTENDER?
- YEAH.
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210. - GIVE ME A B&B.
- B&B?
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211. BOURBON AND BOURBON.
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212. HEY, MAC,
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213. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET
THAT DOG OUT OF HERE.
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214. - WHAT DOG?
- THAT DOG.
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215. FANG, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU WANT TO SPOIL EVERYTHING?
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216. ALL RIGHT, DOGGY,
GET OUT OF HERE.
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217. GET LOST. I DON'T WANT
YOU HANGING AROUND ME.
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218. CAN'T YOU SEE
I'VE TURNED ROTTEN?
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219. ( whimpers )
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220. OKAY, IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH,
YOU'RE NOT MY PAL ANYMORE.
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221. I DON'T LIKE YOU.
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222. YOU'VE GOT
A SWEATY TONGUE.
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223. AND... DOGGY ODOR.
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224. ( growling )
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225. THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
NOW JUST GROWL YOURSELF RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.
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226. GOOD WORK, FANG,
YOU FOUND HIM.
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227. MAX, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN THIS PLACE?
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228. WHAT DOES IT
LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? I'M GETTING DRUNK.
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229. THAT'S NOT
LIKE YOU, MAX.
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230. "THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU, MAX."
OKAY, WHAT IS LIKE ME?
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231. MAX!
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232. WE'VE MEANT SO MUCH
TO EACH OTHER.
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233. LOOK, WILL YOU
DO ME A FAVOR?
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234. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
GET OUT OF MY LIFE.
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235. MAX, I THINK
I CAN HELP YOU.
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236. IT'S THAT FLY, ISN'T IT,
THE $400,000 ONE?
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237. FILL HER UP, BARTENDER.
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238. WE CAN WORK OUT SOMETHING.
I'VE SAVED A LITTLE MONEY.
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239. LOOK, I DON'T
WANT YOUR MONEY.
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240. WE CAN PAY IT OFF
$10 A WEEK.
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241. $10 A WEEK?
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242. YOU KNOW HOW LONG
THAT WOULD TAKE?
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243. 900 YEARS.
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244. SORRY, BUT I'VE GOT
OTHER PLANS.
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245. MAX, PLEASE LET ME
TAKE YOU HOME.
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246. LOOK, CAN'T YOU GET IT
THROUGH YOUR HEAD?
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247. I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME.
I LIKE IT HERE.
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248. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
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249. OKAY, THEN MAYBE
YOU'LL BELIEVE THIS—
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250. I'VE NEVER LIKED YOU,
NOT EVEN FROM THE BEGINNING.
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251. YOU'RE TOO...
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252. STATUESQUE.
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253. BESIDES, I DON'T LIKE
THE THINGS YOU STAND FOR:
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254. INTEGRITY,
LOYALTY, DECENCY.
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255. OKAY, MAX,
I'M LEAVING.
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256. BUT ONLY BECAUSE
YOU WANT ME TO.
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257. I'M JUST NOT CONVINCED
THAT YOU'RE WHAT YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE.
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258. COME ON, FANG,
COME ON.
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259. SMART IS DETERIORATING
RAPIDLY.
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260. HE JUST DISMISSED
HIS DOG AND HIS GIRL.
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261. ( phone ringing )
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262. PARDON ME, I KNOW THIS IS
GOING TO SOUND SILLY,
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263. BUT IS IT POSSIBLE THAT
YOUR SHOE IS RINGING?
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264. MY SHOE?
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265. YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING
TOO MUCH OF THIS CHEAP BOOZE, SOLDIER.
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266. LISTEN, I'M SORRY
I TALKED TO YOU SO MEAN,
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267. BUT I CAN'T EXPLAIN NOW.
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268. OH, CHIEF.
I THOUGHT IT WAS 99.
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269. HAVE THEY MADE CONTACT
WITH YOU YET?
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270. NO, CHIEF, UH— THEY'RE
WATCHING ME VERY CLOSELY.
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271. BUT I THINK THEY'RE
FINDING IT HARD TO BELIEVE.
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272. THAT MEANS WE'LL HAVE
TO PUT PHASE THREE INTO EFFECT.
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273. - RIGHT, CHIEF.
- ( phone rings )
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274. CAN YOU HOLD ON
A SECOND, CHIEF?
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275. HELLO, UH, I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M USING THE PHONE BOOTH.
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276. COULD YOU CALL BACK LATER?
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277. OKAY, CHIEF,
PHASE THREE IT IS.
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278. UH, CHIEF,
JUST ONE THING...
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279. WHAT IS PHASE THREE?
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280. THAT'S WHERE I COME INTO THE BAR
AND PICK A FIGHT WITH YOU,
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281. - AND YOU BEAT ME UP.
- BEAT YOU UP?
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282. I COULDN'T DO THAT, CHIEF.
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283. THERE'S NOTHING TO IT.
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284. WE PLANTED A CASE OF WHISKEY
IN HARMLESS BREAKAWAY BOTTLES DOWN THERE.
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285. IT'S CALLED "OLD SOLDIER."
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286. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS BREAK ONE OVER MY HEAD.
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287. "OLD SOLDIER"
OVER THE HEAD.
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288. WELL, OKAY, CHIEF,
IF YOU THINK IT'S NECESSARY.
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289. BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I WON'T BE ENJOYING IT.
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290. SMART?
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291. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
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292. A FEW ANSWERS.
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293. SORRY, BUT I DON'T THINK
I'M GONNA LIKE THE QUESTIONS.
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294. WE'RE MISSING $68,000.
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295. THAT'S TOUGH.
HAVE YOU LOOKED BEHIND THE SOFA CUSHIONS?
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296. BESIDE MYSELF,
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
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297. WHO HAD ACCESS
TO THE SAFE.
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298. JUST WHAT ARE
YOU GETTING AT?
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299. I'M MAKING
A CITIZEN'S ARREST.
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300. I DON'T THINK
HE WAS LOOKING. YOU'D BETTER HIT ME AGAIN.
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301. BARTENDER, GIVE ME ANOTHER
BOTTLE OF "OLD SOLDIER."
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302. GIVE ME ANOTHER DRINK.
PUT A LITTLE MORE ICE.
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303. HE MISSED IT AGAIN.
QUICK, GET ANOTHER BOTTLE.
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304. WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF,
I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
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305. WE'VE GOT TO GET
HIS ATTENTION.
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306. LET'S GO DOWN
TO THE OTHER END OF THE BAR.
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307. BARTENDER, GIVE ME
A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
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308. NOW LOOK, CHIEF,
I'M GONNA TAKE THIS BOTTLE
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309. AND CRASH IT OVER
THE END OF THE BAR.
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310. THEN I'LL THREATEN YOU
WITH THE JAGGED EDGES.
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311. THAT'LL GET HIS ATTENTION.
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312. ALL RIGHT, I'M TELLING
YOU FOR THE LAST TIME, GET OUT OF HERE!
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313. - IS HE LOOKING?
- HE MUST BE.
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314. ( coughs )
CHIEF?
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315. ( muffled )
YEAH?
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316. I THINK I SWALLOWED
MY ABSORBO PILL.
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317. WHAT?
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318. YOU KNOW SOMETHING, CHIEF?
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319. THEY'RE NOT HALF BAD.
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320. THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
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321. HE HIT HIM WITH ANOTHER BOTTLE
WHILE I WAS ORDERING A DRINK.
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322. I HOPE HE HASN'T GOTTEN
TOO VIOLENT FOR US TO USE.
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323. WAKE HIM UP.
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324. WAKE UP!
COME ON, WAKE UP.
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325. - YOU'RE AMONG FRIENDS.
- NOW, MR. SMART,
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326. I ALWAYS KNEW
THAT DEEP DOWN INSIDE
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327. YOU WERE A RAT.
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328. OH, THANK YOU
FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE.
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329. NO!
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330. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND FOLLOWED YOU HERE.
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331. YEAH, WE CAUGHT HER
SNOOPING AROUND OUTSIDE.
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332. WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO WITH HER?
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333. HOW ABOUT GIVING HER
A SEVERE REPRIMAND?
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334. SHE'LL HAVE
TO BE DISPOSED OF.
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335. UH, HOW ABOUT A STERN WARNING
TO KEEP OFF THE PREMISES?
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336. WHO'S GONNA DO IT?
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337. WELL, I THINK IT'S
ONLY JUST THAT MR. SMART
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338. HAVE THAT HONOR.
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339. WOULD YOU GO FOR A SEVERE
REPRIMAND AND A STERN WARNING?
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340. YOU DON'T SEEM
TO BE VERY ANXIOUS
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341. TO CARRY OUT
THIS ASSIGNMENT.
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342. THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
I'M VERY ANXIOUS TO CARRY OUT THIS ASSIGNMENT.
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343. IT'S JUST THAT I CAN'T WORK
WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER.
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344. AFTER ALL, EXECUTIONS ARE A KIND
OF A PERSONAL THING WITH ME.
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345. I THINK ALL OF YOU GENTLEMEN
HAD BETTER LEAVE THE ROOM.
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346. HOW LONG IS THIS
GOING TO TAKE?
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347. I'LL CALL YOU
WHEN IT'S OVER.
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348. OH, MAX,
I KNEW YOU HADN'T TURNED ROTTEN.
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349. YOU JUST HAD TO FIND OUT
THE REST OF THEIR PLAN.
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350. IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW.
I'VE GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE.
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351. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M
GONNA DO IT. THERE'S ONLY ONE DOOR AND NO WINDOW.
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352. - THAT'S IT!
- OF COURSE THAT'S IT.
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353. - WHAT'S IT?
- THERE MUST BE A VENTILATOR.
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354. LOOK!
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355. MAX, THE NOISE!
THEY'LL GET SUSPICIOUS.
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356. YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE NEED SOMETHING TO COVER IT.
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357. - I KNOW.
- WHAT?
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358. IF THEY HEAR SCREAMS,
THEY'LL THINK I'M WORKING YOU OVER.
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359. - RIGHT.
- I'D BETTER USE MY PHONO-WATCH.
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360. OH.
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361. FROM YOUR CHARM BRACELET.
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362. HERE IT IS.
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363. ( woman laughing hysterically )
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364. MUST BE THE FLIP SIDE.
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365. ( woman screaming )
Ah! No! No!
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366. - THAT'S IT.
- GOOD.
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367. - ( clattering )
- MAX, SOMEONE'S COMING.
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368. WE'D BETTER TAKE THEM
AT THE DOOR.
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369. - WE'LL NEVER GET
THROUGH THIS ANYWAY. - RIGHT.
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370. WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEY! NO!
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371. NO NO NO NO, DON'T!
I'M NOT A KAOS AGENT!
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372. - ARE YOU A DOUBLE AGENT?
- ( gasps ) YEAH.
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373. - SO IS HE.
- 99, HE'S LYING.
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374. - NO, I'M NOT!
- "THE GEESE FLY HIGH."
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375. "THE FROST IS ON THE GRASS."
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376. - MAX!
- HE IS.
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377. - SORRY ABOUT THAT, FELLA.
- OOH. OOH.
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378. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HIT YOU SO HARD.
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379. - I THINK YOU
FRACTURED MY SKULL. - IT'LL HEAL, IT'LL HEAL.
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380. OW!
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381. DON'T SHOOT! UH—
"THE GEESE FLY HIGH."
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382. "THE FROST IS
ON THE GRASS."
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383. ( screams )
MAX!
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384. - "THE GEESE FLY HIGH."
- "THE FROST IS ON THE GRASS."
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385. "THE GEESE FLY—"
UH!
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386. "THE FROST IS ON THE GRASS."
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387. JUST A MINUTE.
WHO ARE YOU GUYS?
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388. C.I.A.
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389. NAVAL INTELLIGENCE.
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390. F.B.I.
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391. SCOTLAND YARD, HERE.
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392. YOU'RE—
SCOTLAND YARD?
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393. YOU'RE BROWN?
I'M ADAM.
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394. WELL, 99, I CAN'T WAIT
TO TELL THE CHIEF ABOUT THIS.
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395. WE'RE REALLY IN LINE
FOR CONGRATULATIONS.
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396. WE'VE JUST BROKEN
THE SINISTER ARM OF KAOS
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397. THAT'S THREATENED
THE NATION'S CAPITAL.
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398. BUT, MAX, WHAT ABOUT
WHEN THE CHIEF FINDS OUT
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399. THAT WE'VE JUST WOUNDED
FOUR OF OUR OWN GOVERNMENT'S TOP AGENTS?
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400. WELL, WE DON'T HAVE
TO TELL THE CHIEF EVERYTHING.
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401. APPARENTLY THE REAL KAOS MAN
WHO STARTED THE GROUP
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402. DIED SEVERAL YEARS AGO, CHIEF,
AND WAS NEVER REPLACED.
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403. YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB, MAX,
AND I UNDERSTAND MOST OF THEM
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404. WILL BE OUT OF THE HOSPITAL
WITHIN THE MONTH.
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405. SORRY ABOUT THAT,
CHIEF.
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406. - ALL IN THE LINE OF WORK, MAX.
- WHAT ABOUT THE ELECTRONIC FLY?
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407. OH, PARKER HAS COME UP
WITH A NEW LISTENING DEVICE EVEN CLEVERER THAN THE FLY.
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408. - ARE YOU READY, PARKER?
- YES, CHIEF.
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409. SEE, IF YOU CAN PICK
THIS ONE OUT, SMART.
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410. AND PLEASE BE A LITTLE
MORE CAREFUL THIS TIME.
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411. - RIGHT, PROFESSOR.
- IT'S AMONG THESE OBJECTS ON THE DESK.
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412. WELL, LET'S SEE.
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413. IT'S NOT
THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER, RIGHT?
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414. RIGHT.
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415. AND, UH...
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416. IT'S NOT
THE MAGAZINE, RIGHT?
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417. CORRECT.
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418. A FLY.
YOU'VE BUILT ANOTHER FLY.
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419. NO, SMART,
THAT'S A REAL FLY.
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420. - ( fly buzzing )
- OH.
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421. ARE YOU SURE
IT'S A FLY?
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422. ABSOLUTELY.
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423. WELL THEN
I CAN KILL IT.
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424. I HAVE A STRANGE FEELING
IT'S THE LIGHT BULB.
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425. ( theme music playing )
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