1. Hiya!Copy !req
2. - Are you still asleep?
- No.Copy !req
3. - How come?
- Well, I'm up.Copy !req
4. I've been the shop, got a paper,
some milk. It's a Iush day, innit?Copy !req
5. I know. It's bakin'.Copy !req
6. And there's the EIvis convention.
The island's gonna be packed.Copy !req
7. What you up to today, then?Copy !req
8. Dunno - might pop down
and see you Iater.Copy !req
9. Aw, that'll be nice.
Make sure you textCopy !req
10. before you come though,
so as I can take my break.Copy !req
11. Hang on a minute, babe.Copy !req
12. I think my parents have
just pulled up outside the house.Copy !req
13. What, your parents?
Your mum and dad? Pam and Mick?Copy !req
14. - Yeah!
- Oh, my God. Maybe your nan's died.Copy !req
15. Right. Which one?
Cos they're both actually dead.Copy !req
16. Are they? And mine are.Copy !req
17. Aw. There's Iush.Copy !req
18. I'll call you back.Copy !req
19. Yoo-hoo! Surprise!Copy !req
20. - What you doin' here?
- Oh, that's a nice welcome!Copy !req
21. Hiya, mate.
- Hiya.Copy !req
22. No, it's just... Well, it's
just a surprise, that's all.Copy !req
23. Yeah, that's cos
we wanted to surprise you!Copy !req
24. Needless to say,
this was your mother's idea.Copy !req
25. It wasn't actually.
It was Dawn and Pete's.Copy !req
26. They saw the weather last night
on Sky and they said,Copy !req
27. "Oh, it's gonna be nice in Wales
tomorrow by all accounts.Copy !req
28. "Let's go down and spend the day
on Barry Beach."Copy !req
29. - So, are they following you down?
- No.Copy !req
30. They had a row, three o'clock
this morning. They're not speakin'.Copy !req
31. Dawn threw him out.
He slept in the shed.Copy !req
32. Why?Copy !req
33. - The ring.
- That bloody ring.Copy !req
34. Mick? Pam? Gav? I'm up here!Copy !req
35. - Hiya!
- Hello!Copy !req
36. There I was, having a bath,
when the phone goes. It's GIenda.Copy !req
37. She says Gav's mum and dad
have pulled up outside Gwen's.Copy !req
38. I said "Don't be daft, GIenda."Copy !req
39. But, Io and behold, she was right!
And there you are.Copy !req
40. Here we are!Copy !req
41. Wait there, I'll get dressed.
I'm naked.Copy !req
42. Well, that's a fiver I owe GIenda!Copy !req
43. - Hiya, Doris.
- All right, Dor?Copy !req
44. She just emailed me
and said it was you, and I said,Copy !req
45. "I'll bet you five quid it isn't."Copy !req
46. And here you are!
She's made a twat of me, Pam.Copy !req
47. I'll tell you something else.
Gwen's in for a shock.Copy !req
48. GIenda just text me!Copy !req
49. She said you were here!
Well, what a shock.Copy !req
50. I know! It's a surprise!Copy !req
51. - We fancied a day on the beach.
- Oh, that's the ticket.Copy !req
52. That sounds Iovely. Can we join you?Copy !req
53. Gwen, we would love it.Copy !req
54. We've got everything in the back -
windbreaks, Lilos, surfboards...Copy !req
55. Yeah, well, it's a body board.
Are you comin' Doris?Copy !req
56. Oh, I haven't been down
the island for years, Mick.Copy !req
57. - Well, all the more reason.
- Well, why not!Copy !req
58. Doughnut, a bag of chips,
I'm your girl.Copy !req
59. - I'll have to dig out my bikini.
- (PAM LAUGHS)Copy !req
60. Jokin' I am, Gav.Copy !req
61. A one-piece it is.Copy !req
62. Oh! Sorry about that.Copy !req
63. You were quick.Copy !req
64. Oh, I'm only halfway through, Pam.Copy !req
65. I've not even talcumed yet.Copy !req
66. Now, I hear we're
going down the beach.Copy !req
67. - How'd you hear that?
- GIenda. On Twitter.Copy !req
68. She said she's seen Gav's mum and dadCopy !req
69. talking to Gwen about
going down the beach.Copy !req
70. - You're coming, aren't you?
- I should coco!Copy !req
71. But I'm just thinkin' about
Iittle baby Neil the Baby.Copy !req
72. - He'd love it down there.
He would!Copy !req
73. But what's the Iatest
with Nessa and Dave?Copy !req
74. We don't really know.
We've not heard a peep.Copy !req
75. Let me exfoliate. I'll pop down
the van, see how the land Iies.Copy !req
76. Well, come on in.Copy !req
77. So...Copy !req
78. this is O... bama.Copy !req
79. All right?Copy !req
80. O... bama.Copy !req
81. Not to be confused with...Copy !req
82. O... sama.Copy !req
83. Ah!Copy !req
84. O... bama. O... sama.Copy !req
85. Very different people
with very different ideas.Copy !req
86. You fancy a rusk?Copy !req
87. Me too.Copy !req
88. All right?Copy !req
89. Yeah. I gotta get a new gas.Copy !req
90. - We'll come with you, if you like.
- No, you're all right.Copy !req
91. Where to you goin'?Copy !req
92. I dunno. Rylands? Lawsons?Copy !req
93. They open bank holidays?Copy !req
94. Shit. Yeah, probably not.Copy !req
95. Well, we should last
till tomorrow, shouldn't we?Copy !req
96. You talkin' about the Calor Gas
or our relationship?Copy !req
97. Aw, Dave, man, come on.Copy !req
98. - Why you bein' like this?
- Why am I bein' like this?Copy !req
99. - You gotta let it go.
- What, you sleepin' with another man?Copy !req
100. I told you, I didn't sleep with him.
Not like that, anyways.Copy !req
101. - Positive of that are you?
- No, I'm not, if truth be told.Copy !req
102. But what can I do?Copy !req
103. I bought you that Aston Villa strip.Copy !req
104. I know, and I loves it.
You know I does.Copy !req
105. I can't bear it, Ness,
thinkin' of you and him together,Copy !req
106. doin' things...Copy !req
107. You know, doin' stuff that we do,
the things that we do...Copy !req
108. Look, I know we didn't do
any of that stuff, OK?Copy !req
109. But how do you know?Copy !req
110. Cos I didn't have my bag.
My tools. My cloak.Copy !req
111. Anyway, there's no way
he could take that Ievel...Copy !req
112. - Nessa? Dave? Neil?
- It's Bryn.Copy !req
113. We're in here, Bryn.Copy !req
114. - (DOOR OPENS)
- Hello, you three!Copy !req
115. Whew! Hot in here.Copy !req
116. That better for you, Bryn?Copy !req
117. Yes. Thank you.Copy !req
118. Now, here's the thing.Copy !req
119. Pam and Mick... ShipmanCopy !req
120. have just turned up on the doorstep,
out of the blue,Copy !req
121. and we've all decided
to go the beach.Copy !req
122. - Will you join us?
- Will Smithy be there?Copy !req
123. - Oh!
- Nope.Copy !req
124. As far as I know,
his name's not been mentioned.Copy !req
125. I know things between the two of you
are not exactly...Copy !req
126. well, peachy.Copy !req
127. Look, you do what you like.Copy !req
128. I gotta find me some gas.Copy !req
129. We're nearly empty, aren't we, Ness?Copy !req
130. Catch you Iater, Bryn.Copy !req
131. Good God!Copy !req
132. The tension in here, Ness,
it's unbearable!Copy !req
133. - Is this what it's been like?
- Yeah, for weeks.Copy !req
134. Well, I don't want to know
the details - the ins, the outs...Copy !req
135. That's the problem, Bryn.
I can't remember if there were any.Copy !req
136. - Hiya!
- Hiya.Copy !req
137. Aw!Copy !req
138. You look so Iush.Copy !req
139. - What you mean?
- Just watchin' you then,Copy !req
140. from the kiosk, smilin'.Copy !req
141. It's been so long
since I seen you proper smilin'.Copy !req
142. - Oh, that's nice.
Hiya, Stace!Copy !req
143. We're on the island.
Can you believe it?Copy !req
144. - First time!
- I know. What d'you think?Copy !req
145. - I like it - a beautiful beach!
- Well, it's nice.Copy !req
146. But I suppose that's cos
the sun's shining.Copy !req
147. I mean, I expect if it was raining
or just a bit overcast,Copy !req
148. it would be quite a bleak
and depressing place.Copy !req
149. A bit like Billericay, really.Copy !req
150. Hiya, love. You gonna
come down on your break?Copy !req
151. Definitely. Where you goin'? Down
by the left or down by the right?Copy !req
152. - Probably in the middle.
- Yeah, it's nice there.Copy !req
153. - See you Iater.
See you down there, love.Copy !req
154. See you Iater.Copy !req
155. All right, Ness?Copy !req
156. Hiya. Where's Dave?
- What's occurrin'?Copy !req
157. Stace, we're not
mentioning Dave today.Copy !req
158. Today is a David-free zone.Copy !req
159. Is it still bad?Copy !req
160. The atmosphere in that caravanCopy !req
161. is what I can only describe as...Copy !req
162. - Well, I can't describe it.
- So, Dave's not comin' then?Copy !req
163. Oh, Gav, what happened to
this Dave-free zone.Copy !req
164. Oh, Stace!Copy !req
165. - Sorry, Marco.
- Come on!Copy !req
166. I got seven EIvises here,
all gasping for a cappuccino.Copy !req
167. - Right. I'll see you Iater.
- See ya.Copy !req
168. All right, mate?Copy !req
169. Gavelarindini!
Guess where I am?Copy !req
170. - Where?
- Guess.Copy !req
171. - Where?
- No, guess.Copy !req
172. Where?Copy !req
173. - Guess.
- Upton Park.Copy !req
174. Wrong! I'm in my car.Copy !req
175. - Oh, yeah. Where you goin'?
- Guess.Copy !req
176. Smithy, just tell me where you are.Copy !req
177. OK, I've just crossed a big bridge.Copy !req
178. I paid £5.40 for the privilege.Copy !req
179. I'm currently coming off the M4,
onto the A48, heading westbound,Copy !req
180. straight towards
the Isle of Barree...Copy !req
181. You're comin' down here!Copy !req
182. where I know for a fact my best
friend's wife is at work all day,Copy !req
183. leaving him, aka you,
sat at home, watching UPorn,Copy !req
184. playing with what can only be
described, after recent revelations,Copy !req
185. as his empty, useless gonads.Copy !req
186. Smithy!Copy !req
187. You gotta Iaugh at it. Gotta Iaugh
adversity right in the face.Copy !req
188. - I don't. That's really horrible!
- Whoa!Copy !req
189. Hang on a minute! What about
when Gary and Simon's uncleCopy !req
190. had his testicle removed and he walked
in the Crown after his operation?Copy !req
191. I don't seem to remember
you holding back on the singing.Copy !req
192. - What was it?
- I don't know.Copy !req
193. What was the song that you made up?Copy !req
194. The One-ball Of Wimbledon.Copy !req
195. ♪ Wombling freeCopy !req
196. OK, I'll give you that one.Copy !req
197. The irony is he has actually moved
to Wimbledon.Copy !req
198. You're on your way here?Copy !req
199. Yeah! We're gonna go the beach.Copy !req
200. I wanna be the first person
to take my son to the seaside,Copy !req
201. - walk him on the sand.
- The only problem with thatCopy !req
202. is he's already on the beach.
We all are.Copy !req
203. Mum and Dad, everyone.
It was a bit impromptu.Copy !req
204. What? Is Dave there?Copy !req
205. No, hang on.
Bryn, is Dave comin'?Copy !req
206. We don't know. He's gone to get gas.Copy !req
207. He's gone to get gas.Copy !req
208. Oh, well in that case,
look, I'm not gonna bother.Copy !req
209. I... I'll just turn around.Copy !req
210. - It's probably for the best.
- Yeah, probably.Copy !req
211. No! Why's it for the best?
I'm tryin' to see my son!Copy !req
212. - Stop tryin' to stop me.
- I'm not!Copy !req
213. Don't then! I'll see you
in a bit! Goodbye!Copy !req
214. See ya.Copy !req
215. This is a beautiful beach!Copy !req
216. Well, I'm glad you said that, Mick,Copy !req
217. because we're very proud of
our beaches in Barry.Copy !req
218. - Aren't we, Gwen?
- Oh, yes. I prefer it to Porthcawl.Copy !req
219. Now, now...
The thing is, Mick,Copy !req
220. I've got a lot of happy memories
of this beach.Copy !req
221. Some of the best times
of my childhood.Copy !req
222. We used to come over
for the day from Swansea.Copy !req
223. - And see those rocks over there?
- Yeah.Copy !req
224. Well, I'll never forget Trevor,
my brother, God rest his soul,Copy !req
225. and his friend, Ian Dixon -Copy !req
226. Dixie they called him,
I don't know why -Copy !req
227. I'll never forget them
dangling me over the edge there,Copy !req
228. one summer holidays,Copy !req
229. by my ankles, swinging me
back and forth, back and forth!Copy !req
230. Oh, they were Iaughing away.Copy !req
231. And if I hadn't held my hands out,Copy !req
232. my face would've been
bashing against those rocks...Copy !req
233. Bryn, that's terrible!Copy !req
234. No, it was just tomfoolery, Pam!Copy !req
235. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
236. The folly of youth.Copy !req
237. And between you and me, I rather
enjoyed having both arms in plaster.Copy !req
238. Like this, I was...Copy !req
239. "Hello. Hello. Hello."Copy !req
240. (LAUGHS) Happy days.Copy !req
241. £5 he's askin'. For a bit of canvas
on a wooden frame.Copy !req
242. - That's a bit steep.
- You could buy one for that.Copy !req
243. I told him to stick it, Pam.Copy !req
244. Comin' over here, takin' our jobs.Copy !req
245. Where was he from, Poland?Copy !req
246. No. Newport.Copy !req
247. Mick, give Dor your foldy.Copy !req
248. Yeah, all right. Here you go, Doris.Copy !req
249. Thanks, Mick.Copy !req
250. Right, I'm gonna get some
drinks. What's everyone want?Copy !req
251. Oh, yeah, just get a mixture.Copy !req
252. Yeah, just a few cans of pop.Copy !req
253. I'll have an Irn-Bru.Copy !req
254. What if they ain't got Irn-Bru?Copy !req
255. Go somewhere that has.Copy !req
256. OK.Copy !req
257. Anyone else?Copy !req
258. I'll have a tea, Gav.
Or a Shandy Bass. Either's fine.Copy !req
259. Should we get a Iittle juice
for Neil the Baby?Copy !req
260. I mean, I know he's got
some water but...Copy !req
261. It's up to you, Gwen.
But I'm not payin' for it.Copy !req
262. Don't worry. I'll get these.
Is that enough, Gav?Copy !req
263. What? Well, it's only a few cans,
but cheers, Dor.Copy !req
264. No worries.Copy !req
265. - Fake it is, Gav, that 20.
- What?Copy !req
266. I'm jokin'! Lighten up, man.Copy !req
267. Right.Copy !req
268. - Give it a rest!
- (LAUGHS)Copy !req
269. Oh. Mick.Copy !req
270. You been workin' out?Copy !req
271. - Nice frame.
- Cheers.Copy !req
272. I do me best.Copy !req
273. I bet you do.Copy !req
274. Hey, Pam, I imagine
you're a satisfied customer!Copy !req
275. Doris!Copy !req
276. I've got no complaints -
put it that way.Copy !req
277. I bet you haven't, you Iucky bitch.Copy !req
278. Hey, Mister. Let's get this on you -
get you protected.Copy !req
279. No, look, Bryn, you're all right.
Pam'II do it. Won't you, Pam?Copy !req
280. - Leave her be. She's relaxing.
- Honestly, Bryn...Copy !req
281. Look, it's on my hands.
What can I do?Copy !req
282. OK...Copy !req
283. Yes, sir. Can I help you?Copy !req
284. I'd like some drinks, please,
Iots of cans, and a smooch,Copy !req
285. a full smooch and a cuddle.Copy !req
286. Aw, are you missin' me?Copy !req
287. I am actually, yeah.Copy !req
288. I'll be down in a bit now.Copy !req
289. Hey, guess what I was
thinkin' this mornin'?Copy !req
290. What?Copy !req
291. That we should go on holiday...Copy !req
292. you know, just get away
from it all.Copy !req
293. Yeah, maybe.Copy !req
294. I just think we're a bit
preoccupied with everything -Copy !req
295. you know, havin' babies,
not havin' babies...Copy !req
296. Maybe we just need to be
on our own for a bit.Copy !req
297. But this is nice, just us two.Copy !req
298. Gavlar!Copy !req
299. This is amazing! There's a fair!
Why have we never been here before?Copy !req
300. Ghost train, dodgems...Copy !req
301. - Log flumes.
- Log flumes! We gotta go on 'em.Copy !req
302. Where's Neil? Where's everyone?Copy !req
303. Down on the right,
just after the steps.Copy !req
304. - I'll see you down there.
- You want a drink?Copy !req
305. - Yeah, I'll have an Irn-Bru.
- OK.Copy !req
306. Really, Bryn, that should
be fine now, seriously.Copy !req
307. You can never be too careful, Mick!Copy !req
308. Skin cancer is on the up,
isn't it, Dor?Copy !req
309. Apparently.Copy !req
310. Hey, Smithy! Hey up, Smithy!Copy !req
311. Hey!
There he is.Copy !req
312. All right, Doris?
You beach-bound diva!Copy !req
313. Hiya, Smithy, love.Copy !req
314. Look at you lot -
sunnin' yourselves, Iivin' the dream.Copy !req
315. All right?Copy !req
316. Yeah. You?Copy !req
317. Yeah, yeah, good. Where's my boy?Copy !req
318. Hey! There he is!Copy !req
319. Look! It's your daddy!Copy !req
320. Hiya! Look at you!Copy !req
321. Oh! What d'you think of
the beach, then, eh?Copy !req
322. Yeah? You like it?Copy !req
323. Look what I've got! (GASPS)
Look at that!Copy !req
324. You gonna help me
build a sandcastle? Yeah?Copy !req
325. You want to build a sandcastle?Copy !req
326. Is it all right to build a sandcastle,
or does he need a sleep or anything?Copy !req
327. - No, he's fine. Go for it.
- Yeah?Copy !req
328. Here y'are Gwen. Will you take him
a minute? I'll just get this off.Copy !req
329. I can't get it off!Copy !req
330. What you doin',
wearin' that thing, anyway?Copy !req
331. I thought it'd be a Iaugh.
But it's not comin' off.Copy !req
332. I'm not surprised.
How'd you get it on?Copy !req
333. - Isn't it a child's one?
- No, it's 12 to 14.Copy !req
334. You can't pull it over your tummy.
You've gotta pull it over your bum.Copy !req
335. - Yeah, all right, Bryn...
- No, no. He doesn't want to go.Copy !req
336. Maybe you should deflate it.Copy !req
337. - That's it.
Where's the valve?Copy !req
338. There isn't a valve.
I can't find a valve.Copy !req
339. - Smithy, darlin', what are you like?
Mate, you're so funny.Copy !req
340. I'm actually getting
a bit claustrophobic, actually.Copy !req
341. Cheers.Copy !req
342. We'll build this sandcastle,
shall we?Copy !req
343. Yeah.Copy !req
344. Well, this is Iovely.Copy !req
345. Lovely, Iovely.Copy !req
346. I can't remember the last time
we spent a bank holiday on a beach.Copy !req
347. - Well, not in this country, anyway!
- No.Copy !req
348. Sorry I took so long.
Stacey's rushed off her feet.Copy !req
349. Aw, it's a shame she's stuck up there
workin' when we're all down here.Copy !req
350. She's got a break in a bit, though.Copy !req
351. - Where's Bryn?
- I don't know. Where's he gone?Copy !req
352. BIoody hell, Bryn!Copy !req
353. - You look like Daniel Craig!
- I know.Copy !req
354. - It's the shorts!
- You're brave, goin' in there.Copy !req
355. You look like you've frozen
your bollocks off. Sorry, Gav.Copy !req
356. It's all right once you're in there.Copy !req
357. It's getting your shoulders under
that's the worst part.Copy !req
358. Right, so we've filled it up
with sand, there,Copy !req
359. and then we're gonna turn it over...Copy !req
360. Ready?
And I'm gonna Iift this up.Copy !req
361. And underneath,
there's gonna be a castle!Copy !req
362. Oh. Before we do,
I gotta warn you, Neil.Copy !req
363. Don't get your hopes up, all right?Copy !req
364. Don't have any expectations.Copy !req
365. Cos it might all crumble before youCopy !req
366. and you'll be left with a big pile
of sand before your eyes.Copy !req
367. Well, no, that's not gonna happen
if we give it the special tap.Copy !req
368. You give it a special tap. Of course
you do. Goes without sayin'.Copy !req
369. All right, so, I'll give it
a special tap, right?Copy !req
370. One, two, three.Copy !req
371. And then Mummy gives
it the special tap.Copy !req
372. And then the three of us,Copy !req
373. all together, all three of us
give it a special tap. Ready?Copy !req
374. One, two, three...Copy !req
375. Look!Copy !req
376. Ah!Copy !req
377. You all right, mate?Copy !req
378. Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.Copy !req
379. - Go aFter him.
- What?Copy !req
380. - Go and talk to him.
- What about? He's all right.Copy !req
381. No, he's not.
He's clearly upset about his...Copy !req
382. Well, you know, it might
be better comin' from you.Copy !req
383. No, I can't talk to him
about man's things.Copy !req
384. About... (WHISPERS) ... sperm.Copy !req
385. Well, I'm not gonna
talk to him about sperm!Copy !req
386. (WHISPERS) Why?
That's what the problem is, sperm!Copy !req
387. Yeah, well, I'm his dad,
and I don't want to.Copy !req
388. Exactly! He is your sperm!
He's made from your sperm.Copy !req
389. Can we please stop sayin'
the word "sperm".Copy !req
390. All right... essence, whatever.Copy !req
391. It's all right here, isn't it, eh?Copy !req
392. Yeah, it's nice.Copy !req
393. I wouldn't mind wakin' up
to this every morning.Copy !req
394. Yeah.Copy !req
395. It'll be all right,
you know, all this.Copy !req
396. It will.Copy !req
397. Cos it's not, like,
out of the question...Copy !req
398. you and Stacey to be able to...Copy !req
399. - But it is, Dad.
- What?Copy !req
400. They've told you something
different now, have they?Copy !req
401. - No, but it's not Iooking good.
- Right.Copy !req
402. - So, then, there's still a chance?
- A really small chance.Copy !req
403. But you're mopin' around like it's
all been decided, like that's it!Copy !req
404. Look at your Uncle Vinnie.
You remember Vinnie?Copy !req
405. - The one with the internet...
- The internet thing, yeah.Copy !req
406. Well, he... He was told
he couldn't have kids.Copy !req
407. - He's got four, hasn't he?
- Exactly! By three different women.Copy !req
408. He's not allowed to
see them now, of course...Copy !req
409. - Mm.
- The point is,Copy !req
410. they're not always right,
the doctors what they tell you.Copy !req
411. I know, but they might be.Copy !req
412. And if they are, then you
look at the alternatives -Copy !req
413. sperm donors, adoption...Copy !req
414. But you don't just give up
on the whole thing.Copy !req
415. I just feel like I've
let everyone down, you know?Copy !req
416. - Like who, for Christ's sake?
- You and Mum...Copy !req
417. - Don't be silly.
- I do.Copy !req
418. I know she's not sayin' anythin'Copy !req
419. but I saw how upset she was
when I told her.Copy !req
420. You and her, you'd make
brilliant grandparents.Copy !req
421. Come here!Copy !req
422. One thing at a time, yeah?Copy !req
423. There's just so many "what ifs", Dad.Copy !req
424. Exactly. Nothing is decided.Copy !req
425. And I'll tell you what -Copy !req
426. however upset you think your mum is,Copy !req
427. it's not gonna do her image
any good being called "Granny".Copy !req
428. She's been 51 for
the past five years!Copy !req
429. Hiya. All right?Copy !req
430. Gav! I'm finished!Copy !req
431. Marco's gone home with the dog.
Nino's come down. He said I can go!Copy !req
432. Excellent. Gino didn't say anything?Copy !req
433. No! He wasn't bothered!
Shall we go the fair?Copy !req
434. Yes! I heard that.
I'm coming.Copy !req
435. - Bryn, you want to come?
- What, the fair?Copy !req
436. Ho-ho, no chance. No way.Copy !req
437. - Not on your nelly.
- Why not?Copy !req
438. Smithy, no self-respecting
resident of Barry IslandCopy !req
439. would be seen dead at that fair.Copy !req
440. - Why?
- Oh, don't start, Bryn.Copy !req
441. Nobody died. You just won't go there
cos of the ghost train.Copy !req
442. That's got nothing
to do with it, Gwen.Copy !req
443. Trevor IeFt him on there once
when they were Iittle.Copy !req
444. Round and round he was goin'.
Couldn't get out.Copy !req
445. - Well, I'm going.
- Me too!Copy !req
446. Come on. Uncle Bryn
can look aFter the stuff.Copy !req
447. No, I've changed my mind. I'm coming.Copy !req
448. Oh! Oh, no!
- (LAUGHTER)Copy !req
449. To the fair!Copy !req
450. It was just a shock, that's all.
I didn't expect to see him there.Copy !req
451. Oh, don't start, Dave. I didn't know
he was comin', all right?Copy !req
452. Yeah, well, how d'you think I felt,Copy !req
453. turnin' up and seein' you two
on the dodgems?Copy !req
454. You know I loves the bumper cars.Copy !req
455. Oh, don't make it sound like
I was doin' somethin' wrong!Copy !req
456. What, like wakin' up in bed withCopy !req
457. someone you've had sex with
and fathered a child with?Copy !req
458. I'd rather get in a dodgem
with you any day!Copy !req
459. - But you weren't there, were you?
- Like I'm makin' a fuss of nothin'.Copy !req
460. - Buying gas was more important.
- He's always turnin' up,Copy !req
461. being Ioud and Cockney,
doin' his robots!Copy !req
462. I gotta be civil to him -
he's the mother of my...Copy !req
463. - The father of my child.
- For God's sake, Ness.Copy !req
464. We're getting married in three weeks.Copy !req
465. When you gonna start
putting me first?Copy !req
466. Don't be a twat, Dave.Copy !req
467. Sorry to disturb,
but are you gonna stay?Copy !req
468. Cos we're having
a Iittle barbecue, we are.Copy !req
469. Well, it depends.Copy !req
470. Look, I'm not gonna
say nothin' all right?Copy !req
471. We're not gonna kick off...Copy !req
472. No, not you. It depends
what type of barbecue it is.Copy !req
473. How d'you mean?Copy !req
474. Are we talking burgers
and sausage in a long-life bun?Copy !req
475. - Or are you takin' it serious, like?
- I'm not sure what...Copy !req
476. I'm talkin' chicken breast, seafood,Copy !req
477. rib eye steaks, spare ribs,
Iamb kebabs.Copy !req
478. What about side orders? Potato salad,
coleslaw. What you gonna marinade?Copy !req
479. - Well, I think we can...
- You haven't thought this through.Copy !req
480. Well, I know we're getting
the meat from Dic! Dic Powell.Copy !req
481. Reit, ma' 'da fi bopeth. Ma 'da fi
asennau, asennau porc,Copy !req
482. ma' corgimychied mawr 'da fi,
stecen, stecenCopy !req
483. ar yr asgwrn, syrlwyn a IIygad yr asen -Copy !req
484. 's dim ffiled da fi, dwi mas o ffiled,
brest cyw iâr, cebabau,Copy !req
485. a chig halal i gyd a sosej.Copy !req
486. Ah, now, that's definitely sausage.Copy !req
487. "Sosej" I know is "sausage".
That's a given.Copy !req
488. I think he also said something aboutCopy !req
489. steaks, prawns
and possibly a kebab.Copy !req
490. Well, I know that. I can see
what he's got in his box, Bryn.Copy !req
491. I'm just worried about
where it's come from.Copy !req
492. It looks like it's fallen off
the back of a Iorry.Copy !req
493. (LAUGHS) No, Mick.Copy !req
494. It's not fallen off the back
of a Iorry. It's been stolen!Copy !req
495. Dic's brother Ric works in
a slaughterhouse in LIanelli.Copy !req
496. Isn't that right, Dic?
I'm telling Mick about Ric!Copy !req
497. - Yn union.
- Why you shouting at him?Copy !req
498. It's the only way I can get through.Copy !req
499. Anyway, Ric helps himselfCopy !req
500. to a few Iittle bits and bobs,
then gives it to Dic.Copy !req
501. He then sells them
around the back alleys.Copy !req
502. He's been doin' it for years.
It's totally Iegit.Copy !req
503. And the thing is
it's incredible value.Copy !req
504. These steaks are 87 pence!Copy !req
505. Well, that is good.
87 pence for a steak.Copy !req
506. No, not 87 pence each!Copy !req
507. 87 pence for three!Copy !req
508. How's it goin' there, boys?Copy !req
509. I love barbecues.Copy !req
510. I mean, I just loVe barbecues.Copy !req
511. - I know.
- I mean, this...Copy !req
512. This is one of the finest
inventions since... ever.Copy !req
513. I use them all the time.
I can't get enough of 'em.Copy !req
514. Got a stack at home, downstairs toilet.
Take them to work with me sometimes.Copy !req
515. The other day, at your mum's,
in the garden,Copy !req
516. fired one up - couple of sausages,
bit of bread, Iovely.Copy !req
517. - When you're done, chuck it.
- Very environmentally friendly(!)Copy !req
518. - Oh, don't start.
- But it's not, is it?Copy !req
519. Right.Copy !req
520. OK, well, let's all buy a Prius
and have a shit in the woods.Copy !req
521. Well, here's one you'll know.Copy !req
522. ♪ Oh, there is a Iight
and it never goes outCopy !req
523. (BOTH IMITATE MORRISSEY) # There is
a Iight and it never goes outCopy !req
524. Is he all right?Copy !req
525. He's out for the count, love. I'll
keep an eye on him. Don't worry.Copy !req
526. Right, everyone, I think
these prawns are ready to roll!Copy !req
527. Doris, you stay there.Copy !req
528. - I'll get yours.
- Aye, go on, then.Copy !req
529. - Bit of everything?
- Yeah.Copy !req
530. What doesn't get eaten,
stick in the bin.Copy !req
531. Are you warm enough?
Cos I can go get a blanket.Copy !req
532. No, I'm fine, love.Copy !req
533. Hey, I'll tell you what we need -Copy !req
534. one of those outdoor heaters.Copy !req
535. - Have you seen those, Mick?
- Yeah, I have.Copy !req
536. They are phenomenal! They keep
you warm even when you're outdoors!Copy !req
537. Yeah, well, Pete and Dawn
have got one.Copy !req
538. Yeah, table top one.Copy !req
539. Pete sticks it on
when he sleeps in the shed.Copy !req
540. I'll tell you where there's a good
one - that O'Neill's in Loughton.Copy !req
541. - But if you're right under it...
- It's too warm.Copy !req
542. - Makes you sweat.
- Deano was under it all night.Copy !req
543. He was outside, chainin' it,
people bringing him drinks.Copy !req
544. He actually got burnt
on the back of his neck. Sunburn.Copy !req
545. Had to put After Sun on. AIoe vera.Copy !req
546. Hello, Vera!Copy !req
547. - (PHONE BEEPS)
- I worry about that boy, you know.Copy !req
548. We all do, Mick.Copy !req
549. But I tell you, that is
the one, only, singular good thingCopy !req
550. to come out of the smoking ban -Copy !req
551. the advancement in outdoor heating.Copy !req
552. This is all very mysterious,
isn't it? Texting me?Copy !req
553. I know.Copy !req
554. I just haven't seen you today.
Not properly.Copy !req
555. I fancied a Iittle cwtch.Copy !req
556. I had a good chat with Dad today.Copy !req
557. Did you? What'd he say?Copy !req
558. Oh, you know, just telling me
not to worry -Copy !req
559. saying it'll be all right and that.Copy !req
560. Well, he's right, isn't he?Copy !req
561. I think what we should do is,
we should set a date.Copy !req
562. Like, say, the end of the year,
and not do anythin' till then.Copy !req
563. - How d'you mean?
- Well, we'll keep tryin'.Copy !req
564. And if nothing's happened by then,Copy !req
565. then we'll just have to
accept it ain't gonna.Copy !req
566. And start Iookin' into
adoption and things?Copy !req
567. Yeah.Copy !req
568. OK.Copy !req
569. It's ever so sad, isn't it?Copy !req
570. Yeah.Copy !req
571. Oh, my God.Copy !req
572. Dave's talking to Smithy.Copy !req
573. So, I just wanted to clear the air
about it, that's all.Copy !req
574. Yeah, whatever. It's fine.Copy !req
575. Just leave it now, Dave, OK?Copy !req
576. You've said your piece. Now,
let the man eat his food in peace.Copy !req
577. - No, I'm just sayin', that's all.
- And I'm sayin' it's fine.Copy !req
578. - Everythin' all right?
- Fine.Copy !req
579. - Cos we're getting married...
- In three weeks. You keep saying.Copy !req
580. And I know that what happened between
you meant nothing to her or to you...Copy !req
581. If anything didhappen...Copy !req
582. Let's just draw a line
under the whole thing and move on.Copy !req
583. - Shall we?
- Yeah. Can I eat my sausage now?Copy !req
584. No hard feelings, yeah?Copy !req
585. Well... I can't believe it.Copy !req
586. In three weeks, you're
going to be married, eh, Ness?Copy !req
587. - I know.
- I love a wedding, me.Copy !req
588. - Me too!
- I know. It's really Iush.Copy !req
589. And you should see Nessa's dress.
It's absolutely mesmerising.Copy !req
590. Don't tell me any details now.
Don't want to jinx it.Copy !req
591. And Jason's coming over, Pam.
I can't wait to see him.Copy !req
592. Oh, Iittle gay Jase!Copy !req
593. Is he still all right
to stay with you, Bryn?Copy !req
594. Yes, all sorted.
The sofa's got his name on it.Copy !req
595. Everything OK, now, is it, then,Copy !req
596. with you and him
and all that fishin' trip nonsense?Copy !req
597. A toast!Copy !req
598. To the happy couple.Copy !req
599. Nessa and David.Copy !req
600. Nessa and Dave!
Nessa and David!Copy !req