1. - Stace, sorry.
- Do you know what? Forget it!Copy !req
2. - You're just the same as the rest of them!
- Babe, I can explain.Copy !req
3. It's Gav, I think he's finished with me!Copy !req
4. - Don't want to talk to you.
- I've got to go down there.Copy !req
5. Gavin!Copy !req
6. I just don't want us to be apart.
Ever.Copy !req
7. - Come with me, then.
- What now?Copy !req
8. - Come and stay with me a couple of nights.
- All right.Copy !req
9. - Stacey!
- Gav! What you're doing?Copy !req
10. Stacey!Copy !req
11. - Will you?
- Freeze!Copy !req
12. Put your hands in the air!Copy !req
13. - What's in the box?
- Just a ring. I'm sorry.Copy !req
14. I was gonna...
ask my girlfriend to marry me.Copy !req
15. - Will ya?
- Yes!Copy !req
16. Gav! Look!Copy !req
17. - It fits! It fits!
- Brilliant.Copy !req
18. So did you get arrested?Copy !req
19. - So you're not ringing me from jail?
- No!Copy !req
20. - Where then?
- I'm in work! They just cautioned me.Copy !req
21. I reckon a couple of them
found it romantic.Copy !req
22. - I found it romantic.
- It was romantic, fiancee.Copy !req
23. - Have you told your mum?
- No, I'll tell her tonight.Copy !req
24. Do you want me to be there when you do?
I'll come down, I don't mind.Copy !req
25. It's probably best if
I tell her on my own.Copy !req
26. She might be a bit shocked.Copy !req
27. - Oh, for the love of Christ!
- Mum! Please don't be like this!Copy !req
28. ME? Me be like this?
Oh, that's it. I'm calling Bryn.Copy !req
29. Mam!Copy !req
30. - All right.
- Have you heard about this, Ness?Copy !req
31. - Yeah.
- And what do you think?Copy !req
32. At the end of the day, when all's said
and done, I'm not gonna judge.Copy !req
33. I been judged myself, Gwen, both in
and out of court and it's not nice.Copy !req
34. But that's life and if the truth
be told I'm made up for her.Copy !req
35. Ah, thanks, Ness.Copy !req
36. Come on. It's Weakest Link.Copy !req
37. Bryn? She's done it again.Copy !req
38. I know. I know.Copy !req
39. All right.Copy !req
40. - Where is she?
- Oh, Bryn.Copy !req
41. Where is she? Stacey?Copy !req
42. Stacey. Put that telly off now.Copy !req
43. - All right, Bryn?
- All right, Nessa, luv.Copy !req
44. What do you think about all this?Copy !req
45. For your information,
she's made up for me.Copy !req
46. I thought everyone in my family would be
when I told them I was getting married.Copy !req
47. And so we were, the FIRST time
you got engaged.Copy !req
48. We loved Hywel, if you remember,
we embraced him as one of our own!Copy !req
49. I mean the second time even...Copy !req
50. We were still over the moon.Copy !req
51. Kyle and his family treated us
like royalty.Copy !req
52. He was a prick.Copy !req
53. He wasn't to everyone's taste, Nessa,
I'll give you that.Copy !req
54. But she loved him and
therefore so did we. Now,Copy !req
55. the third time with, er, what's...?
- Leighton.Copy !req
56. Less said about him the better.Copy !req
57. - If he was chocolate he'd have eaten himself.
- But number four...Copy !req
58. Oh, number four, eh?Copy !req
59. You couldn't meet a nicer
bloke than Achmed.Copy !req
60. - He'd walk over hot coals for you, my girl.
- He did once. For charity.Copy !req
61. I know. I remember. He was
a lovely fella - salt of the earth.Copy !req
62. And this all shock you... I miss him!Copy !req
63. I do. I can't tell a lie.
He still sends a card at Christmas.Copy !req
64. They don't even celebrate it
but that's by the by.Copy !req
65. You didn't want him
and we accepted it.Copy !req
66. But none of them were like Gavin!Copy !req
67. Excuse me! Number five...
Clifford.Copy !req
68. He's very much like Gavin.Copy !req
69. - How?
- Well, they're both cracking looking boys.Copy !req
70. I hope that's where the similarity endsCopy !req
71. because I'm not driving you to
Strangeways like your father used to do,Copy !req
72. - God rest his soul.
- I know I've made mistakes, all right?Copy !req
73. And I got five engagement rings
upstairs to prove it.Copy !req
74. But in my heart I know
that Gavin is the one for me.Copy !req
75. He's my soul mate.Copy !req
76. - You said that about Achmed!
- Kyle!Copy !req
77. Look. I am marrying him with
or without your blessing.Copy !req
78. I'd love to know what his parents
have to say about all this.Copy !req
79. We've got to have a party!
Just a little soiree.Copy !req
80. I been saying I wanted a party
but we never had a reason!Copy !req
81. - Now we have!
- Now we have!Copy !req
82. Oh, come here my little prince.
Oh, I gotta phone Dawn and tell her.Copy !req
83. Congratulations, son.Copy !req
84. - And you're really sure about this?
- 1000%.Copy !req
85. - It's all a bit sudden, that's all.
- I know. But when you know, you know.Copy !req
86. I do. I'm proud of yer mate.Copy !req
87. I know! I know! Isn't it incredible?Copy !req
88. Listen, I'll call you back.
I gotta ring Sue.Copy !req
89. Right you!Copy !req
90. Get on the phone to your fiancee and invite
her and all her family up this Saturday.Copy !req
91. - We'll have a nice do.
- Her family?Copy !req
92. Yes, Gavin! We gotta start
making bridges now.Copy !req
93. - They can all stay.
- Where?Copy !req
94. Well, you'll have to get of your arse
and get the Z-beds out the loft.Copy !req
95. Party? London? Saturday?Copy !req
96. - A party in London this Saturday?
- It's Essex.Copy !req
97. Yeah, in my book that's tantamount
to London.Copy !req
98. Well, his parents want to meet you all.
And you can stay over.Copy !req
99. Oh, can I indeed? Is that a fact?Copy !req
100. Gav... I'll have to call you back.Copy !req
101. to stay in the house of a family
I've never met before.Copy !req
102. Well, thank you for informing me. Gwen,Copy !req
103. - have you ever heard such nonsense?
- Well, it can't do any harm, can it?Copy !req
104. You've changed your tune!Copy !req
105. Well, what's the problem?
We can drive upCopy !req
106. and you'll get a chance
to try out your Sat Nav!Copy !req
107. Oh!Copy !req
108. Yeah...
Now that is a thought.Copy !req
109. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
110. Um, Stacey, please inform the Shipmans
that I accept their offerCopy !req
111. and very much look forward
to meeting them.Copy !req
112. You're coming, aren't you?Copy !req
113. - Can I smoke in the car?
- Sorry, Nessa, no.Copy !req
114. But we will be making a scheduled stop
at Leigh Delamare, possibly HestonCopy !req
115. but other than that, I suggest you invest in
some patches or gum to get you through.Copy !req
116. All right. Count me in.Copy !req
117. - Oh, Bryn.
- Yes.Copy !req
118. You've got something on your face.Copy !req
119. Change this for tens, please.Copy !req
120. I'm sorry, luv, but I gotta do this.Copy !req
121. It's no reflection on youCopy !req
122. but at the end of the day fraud's fraud
and I don't know you from Adam.Copy !req
123. And he's been barred twice.Copy !req
124. - All right, Ness?
- Bear with me Stace, I'm working.Copy !req
125. As it goes, this one's fineCopy !req
126. and you look tidy. So, be on you way.Copy !req
127. - All right, Stace, what's occurring?
- I need your advice, I do.Copy !req
128. - Go for it.
- Should I tell Gav about the other engagements?Copy !req
129. Or should I just leave it.Copy !req
130. If I tell him it might wreck everything.
It's not that big a deal, is it?Copy !req
131. That depends.Copy !req
132. This reminds me of a very similar situation
I was in with my second husband Clive.Copy !req
133. I was faced with the dilemma
whether to lie or not to lie.Copy !req
134. - And I chose to tell the truth.
- And what happened?Copy !req
135. He died. Firing squad.Copy !req
136. A terrible way to go, Stace, and I
wouldn't like to see it happen to you.Copy !req
137. Smugglers we were.Copy !req
138. If it weren't for my relationship with John
Prescott I'd still be in that jail right now.Copy !req
139. So yeah, in answer to your question
I'd say no, don't tell him.Copy !req
140. Oh, thanks, Ness.Copy !req
141. Do you miss him? Clive?Copy !req
142. I do, yeah.Copy !req
143. But I don't miss walking through Customs
with a belly full of crack filled condoms.Copy !req
144. Lucy, baby, listen -Copy !req
145. I'm just having a couple
of drinks with Gav.Copy !req
146. He's called me up,
he wants to talk.Copy !req
147. I don't know!Copy !req
148. I know and I will.Copy !req
149. I will Lula Bella Mozzarella.Copy !req
150. I will! I love you too-oo.
I doo-oo. I love you, I doo-oo.Copy !req
151. All right. I gotta go. OK.Copy !req
152. I gotta go.Copy !req
153. Bye bye.Copy !req
154. - Who's that, wrong number?
- No, Lucy.Copy !req
155. She needs some help with her woodwork.
She's making a fruit bowl.Copy !req
156. - Is that what I think it is?
- Have a try.Copy !req
157. Oh, my God. Schloehoffen.Copy !req
158. Is it beer of the week?Copy !req
159. How many memories does that
bring back? I'm getting another.Copy !req
160. - No, hang on a minute.
- I'll get a couple.Copy !req
161. - I need to talk to you.
- I get Ya'Copy !req
162. - Is it Stacey?
- Yeah.Copy !req
163. - We've got engaged.
- Has she dumped you?Copy !req
164. - You've got engaged?
- She's hasn't dumped me!Copy !req
165. - What?
- What?Copy !req
166. - You're getting married!
- We're getting married!Copy !req
167. Yeah.Copy !req
168. And you didn't talk this through
with me first?Copy !req
169. - Smithy, I don't...
- It's all right.Copy !req
170. It's all clear now.Copy !req
171. Take him out,Copy !req
172. buy him his favourite drink,
he won't make a scene.Copy !req
173. I thought you'd be happy for me!Copy !req
174. So is that it?Copy !req
175. Any more bombshells you wanna
drop before I go?Copy !req
176. - Finish your beer.
- What that's?Copy !req
177. That which held so many
happy memories?Copy !req
178. See ya. Mate.Copy !req
179. Mick?Copy !req
180. Michael!Copy !req
181. Mick!Copy !req
182. What now?Copy !req
183. What time is it?Copy !req
184. It's five to ten.Copy !req
185. That lemon roulade needs
to come out of the freezer.Copy !req
186. Of course, my love.Copy !req
187. - I know what you're doing, Michael.
- Mornin'.Copy !req
188. Stop where you are!Copy !req
189. Are you wearing shoes?Copy !req
190. No. I just got up.Copy !req
191. There are no shoes to be worn anywhere
in this house today. Do you understand?Copy !req
192. Oh, and check your dad
when he comes back.Copy !req
193. Yeah, you just take it easy, Mum!Copy !req
194. - Nervous?
- Little bit.Copy !req
195. I remember when I met all your dad's side...
Shocking.Copy !req
196. I walked in the pantry to find your auntie
Christine giving your uncle John...Copy !req
197. - One lemon roulade!
- Oh, thanks, luv.Copy !req
198. Tell you later...Copy !req
199. - Mum, says have you got toothpaste?
- Yes, and a flannel.Copy !req
200. He's got it! Now come on!Copy !req
201. Did you check upstairs?Copy !req
202. Yes! Now come on or
we'll never get there.Copy !req
203. Right.Copy !req
204. All belted up?Copy !req
205. Clunk click!Copy !req
206. Now, if I could ask you please to be quiet
while I hand over to our navigator.Copy !req
207. Continue to the end of the road
and turn left.Copy !req
208. Thank you very much.Copy !req
209. Oh, for goodness sake Bryn
we know the way to the M4.Copy !req
210. Continue along this road for 0.4 miles.Copy !req
211. Thank you very much.Copy !req
212. Can we have some music on now,
Uncle Bryn?Copy !req
213. I'm sorry, Stace, I'm gonna say no.Copy !req
214. Just in case I need to receive
any further instructions.Copy !req
215. Oh, my Christ!Copy !req
216. Gavin, please tell me
none of them are vegetarians.Copy !req
217. - No, I don't think so.
- Mick!Copy !req
218. - Yes, my love.
- Get down to Tescos now!Copy !req
219. I need veggie burgers, corn on the cobs,
anything with Linda McCartney written on it.Copy !req
220. - Mam, I'm sure they're not.
- Are you, Gavin? 100% hand on heart?Copy !req
221. - Well, no...
- Exactly! Mick! Go!Copy !req
222. - I'll ring 'em and find out.
- How stupid will that make me look?Copy !req
223. When those poor vegetarians realiseCopy !req
224. I wasn't thinking about them
when I was planning my menu.Copy !req
225. I was thinking aboutCopy !req
226. slaughtering animals and wrapping
them in pastry. That's what they'll think.Copy !req
227. - Mum...
- Mick! What are you still doing here?Copy !req
228. Take the next right followed
by the second left.Copy !req
229. Thank you very much.Copy !req
230. At the roundabout, take the third exit
signposted towards Billericay.Copy !req
231. Oh, heck.Copy !req
232. So it's left here... Yes...
and then right at the lights.Copy !req
233. - That's it.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
234. We should have just used a map.
God knows you got plenty of 'em.Copy !req
235. It's never let me down before, Gwen.Copy !req
236. You've never used it outside
of Barry before.Copy !req
237. You knows your way round Barry
so it's pointless.Copy !req
238. Oh, Bryn, am I all right to smoke now?Copy !req
239. They're here! Mum!Copy !req
240. - You are joking me!
- No, come on!Copy !req
241. Where the hell is your father?
40 minutes he's been gone!Copy !req
242. Well, it is a Saturday.Copy !req
243. I don't care if it's Christmas
sodding Eve.Copy !req
244. Hello!Copy !req
245. Welcome! Welcome!Copy !req
246. Come in.Copy !req
247. I'm Pam...Copy !req
248. Pamela!Copy !req
249. You all know Gavin.Copy !req
250. Unfortunately my husband Mick
has been called into the office.Copy !req
251. Apparently all the computers haveCopy !req
252. been shut down and only he knows how to...Copy !req
253. Anyway, enough about him.Copy !req
254. - You must be, Nessa?
- All right, Pam?Copy !req
255. And that makes you Gwen. Oooh!
Mother of the bride!Copy !req
256. And you must be Uncle Brine.Copy !req
257. - Brian.
- Bryn.Copy !req
258. Bryn.Copy !req
259. - It means 'hill' in Welsh.
- Does it really?Copy !req
260. Do you know, I have no idea what
my name means in Welsh.Copy !req
261. Why.Copy !req
262. Cos I don't speak the lingo, darlin'!Copy !req
263. No, In Welsh 'pam' means 'why'.Copy !req
264. Or 'brick'.Copy !req
265. Oh, sorry!
There he is.Copy !req
266. - Here he is! The worker!
- Nice to meet you!Copy !req
267. How was everything at the office?Copy !req
268. Fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just had a burst pipe.Copy !req
269. - Where do you want this food, luv?
- Those? Erm... Give 'em here.Copy !req
270. Oh, by the way...Copy !req
271. This food isn't food food.Copy !req
272. Oh, God no, everyone's catered for.Copy !req
273. I catered for everyone well in advance.
No, it's just that this morningCopy !req
274. before you arrived I became
a vegetarian. Yeah, veggie.Copy !req
275. So that's what this is.Copy !req
276. Out of interest, are any of you
vegetarians? I mean,Copy !req
277. not that it makes a difference
to me either way.Copy !req
278. - We're all adults.
- Pam?Copy !req
279. But I would ask you to respect my viewsCopy !req
280. and all the little animals who've beenCopy !req
281. needlessly murdered in the name
of western civilized greed.Copy !req
282. Pam! Look I'm sure all our guests
could do with a sit-down.Copy !req
283. So why don't you all go throughCopy !req
284. and, Gavin, you get everybody's bags
and your mum and I will get the drinks.Copy !req
285. Thank you, Gavin.Copy !req
286. - Oh my God!
- What is wrong with you?Copy !req
287. I fell apart.
I've fallen apart, Mick.Copy !req
288. I was so nervous I can't even
remember what I just said.Copy !req
289. - You said you were a vegetarian.
- Yes! I remember that bit!Copy !req
290. OK, calm down!Copy !req
291. It's just you weren't here
and you always do the greeting!Copy !req
292. I get the drinks and you introduce.
It's been like that for 26 years.Copy !req
293. OK. Look at me.Copy !req
294. Now you take some deep breaths all right.Copy !req
295. That's it. And calm.Copy !req
296. Now we're gonna go back in thereCopy !req
297. and have a lovely evening with some
lovely people. And the only thing you have toCopy !req
298. remember is you don't...Copy !req
299. - eat meat.
- eat meat.Copy !req
300. Oh, Stace, I tell you what
you could do a lot worse.Copy !req
301. No word of a lie, when they dies
you'll be loaded.Copy !req
302. Nessa!Copy !req
303. She got a point, Gwen.Copy !req
304. I mean let's face it.Copy !req
305. When Trefor died God, rest his soul,Copy !req
306. he left you a penniless widow.Copy !req
307. You don't want to see Stace go down
that same terrible route, do you?Copy !req
308. I can't believe this!Copy !req
309. I'm not even married yet and already
you're talking about my in-laws dying!Copy !req
310. You got to think about these things.
I mean,Copy !req
311. had you ended up with Leighton, right,Copy !req
312. you'd have been livin' on the bread
line because his family had nothin'.Copy !req
313. Hywel's lot, well, they weren't
much better off.Copy !req
314. At least with AchmedCopy !req
315. you felt there was a bit put by.Copy !req
316. But then it's in their culture, see?Copy !req
317. Bryn! We're not to mention
the other engagements.Copy !req
318. - Stace will tell him when she's ready.
- I don't want to upset him.Copy !req
319. Nor the family. You gotta think
about the inheritance.Copy !req
320. Look! They're just ordinary people.Copy !req
321. - They're not mega rich nor nuthin'.
- Champagne everyone!Copy !req
322. Who's for champagne?Copy !req
323. Here you go, Stacey... here you are.Copy !req
324. Gwen.Copy !req
325. Nessa!Copy !req
326. - You'll have to go outside, I'm afraid.
- No worries. I still got these.Copy !req
327. Here you go, Nessa.Copy !req
328. So a toast! To the happy couple!Copy !req
329. Gavin and Stacey!Copy !req
330. - Gavin and Stacey!
- Gavin and Stacey! Congratulations!Copy !req
331. - It's going all right, yeah?
- Yeah! Everyone's getting on brilliant.Copy !req
332. - We'll have to tell them tonight, you know.
- I know. I know.Copy !req
333. - Gav-lar.
- Smith-ster.Copy !req
334. Sorry, mate. It just knocked me for six.Copy !req
335. - No, I thought you handled it really well.
- Seriously?Copy !req
336. - What?
- Come on.Copy !req
337. - No!
- Come on.Copy !req
338. - I don't want to.
- Right. Forget it.Copy !req
339. - See you later.
- OK! Quickly.Copy !req
340. Make friends, make friends...Copy !req
341. - Do it properly or not at all.
- Yeah, all right!Copy !req
342. - Yeah?
- OK.Copy !req
343. Make friends, make friends'
Never never break friends.Copy !req
344. If you do I'll flush you down the loo
and that will be the end of you.Copy !req
345. Snooker Loopy!Copy !req
346. - Is that a Smithy I can hear?
- It certainly is Michael!Copy !req
347. - Did you come alone?
- I'm certainly not!Copy !req
348. If you're referring to this little lady!Copy !req
349. Right, get her in here. Bryn!
Wait till you taste this home brew.Copy !req
350. Bryn, it's my best mate Smithy.Copy !req
351. - Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Smithy, nice to meet you.Copy !req
352. - Bryn, that's Welsh for hill, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
353. So what it is, right,
like a corset by hereCopy !req
354. but then it goes out with like a train
going from my head, by here,Copy !req
355. all the way down and then it trails
behind me for about five metres.Copy !req
356. And then I'll have like a hoop on my wrist
so I can hold it when we do the first dance.Copy !req
357. - Oh, like a princess.
- That is cracking.Copy !req
358. And then for my flowers I want
the same as the bridesmaids.Copy !req
359. - I'm gonna have six bridesmaids.
- Six?Copy !req
360. Yeah! Nessa Maid of Honour.Copy !req
361. - Nice one.
- Cheryl, Cheryl's two little girls,Copy !req
362. my cousin Zoe and Nessa's
old step daughter Collette,Copy !req
363. then page boys...
What's the matter?Copy !req
364. - Oh, nothing, luv. Go on.
- No, what is it?Copy !req
365. Come on, Gwen? What's your beef?Copy !req
366. - or Tofu, sorry, Pam.
- S'all right, my luv.Copy !req
367. It sounds so lovely and I don't want
to put a dampener on anything,Copy !req
368. but how are we gonna afford all this?Copy !req
369. - Gwen, listen.
- No, Pam. I know what you gonna say,Copy !req
370. - but we don't want charity.
- It's not charity!Copy !req
371. You are not a charity!Copy !req
372. I'm not offering you my hand
me downs, Gwen. Listen...Copy !req
373. My husband has promised me a decent
holiday for the last three years.Copy !req
374. Have I had one? Have I buggery.
It's payback time.Copy !req
375. Mick will pay for everything. End of.Copy !req
376. Oh, thanks Pam!
That is so kind.Copy !req
377. - Fair play.
- That's very generous of you but...Copy !req
378. No buts, Gwen. Give me your hand.Copy !req
379. Stacey? Nessa, join.Copy !req
380. Now...Copy !req
381. We are going to have the best wedding dayCopy !req
382. since Prince Charles married
the love of his life...Copy !req
383. Camilla Parker Bowles.Copy !req
384. - Hugs!
- Oooh.Copy !req
385. That's strong, isn't it?Copy !req
386. Yeah, you don't want too much of it.
What percent is it again?Copy !req
387. 19.Copy !req
388. Ooh! I like it!Copy !req
389. And the funny thing is
it's not my usual tipple.Copy !req
390. Normally I like a Cinzano.Copy !req
391. Cinzano...Copy !req
392. I love your accent, Bryn!Copy !req
393. It's so much better than Stacey's.
Say something else! Go on.Copy !req
394. All right, bear with me. I got it.Copy !req
395. 'I'm going down the Arms Park
for half a dark!'Copy !req
396. Now say something in Welsh,
you know, IN Welsh.Copy !req
397. - Well, that's the thing see. I can't.
- How do you mean?Copy !req
398. I cannot speak the Welsh language.
It's a constant source of embarrassment to meCopy !req
399. but Welsh is not my mother tongue.Copy !req
400. Why is that, Bryn? Every time I've been down
there it seems that none of you can speak it.Copy !req
401. You spend all that money on them signs
and none of you can read them!Copy !req
402. I know of just one man
in Barry that speaks Welsh.Copy !req
403. Dick Powell. Got a daughter Carol.Copy !req
404. I don't know what's become of her.Copy !req
405. I bumped into him in the butchers.Copy !req
406. I was buying scrag ends, he was
buying chump. I said, 'Dick!'Copy !req
407. He turned to me. I said, 'Why, why is itCopy !req
408. - you always speak in Welsh.'
- And what did he say?Copy !req
409. I don't know!
I couldn't understand his reply.Copy !req
410. Well, I can honestly say,Copy !req
411. I have no interest in learning any other
languages apart from my own.Copy !req
412. - I'm more than happy with English.
- And you can't even speak that!Copy !req
413. All right, Smithy?Copy !req
414. - What's she doing here?
- I thought you knew.Copy !req
415. I was gonna bring Lucy!Copy !req
416. Well, don't sleep with other women
when you've got a girlfriend.Copy !req
417. - No risk of me doin' her again.
- What's gone on there then, Smith?Copy !req
418. What? That? Leave it out.Copy !req
419. Rydwi'n hoffi coffi.Copy !req
420. It's Welsh. I knewl knew it. Only thing
I can remember. It either means...Copy !req
421. I WANT a coffee or I LIKE a coffee.Copy !req
422. Do you want a coffee?Copy !req
423. No, I'll stick to this.Copy !req
424. Grab a plate everyone, help yourselves.Copy !req
425. See, my eldest, Jason, he
don't live with us no more,Copy !req
426. now he says exactly the same thing.
And he's left handed.Copy !req
427. - And how old is Jason?
- He'll be 28 in March. See?Copy !req
428. Funny that, isn't it?Copy !req
429. No, you're all right. Take it.Copy !req
430. - No, you take it.
- I don't want it.Copy !req
431. - Take it.
- It's fine.Copy !req
432. I thought you liked taking it.Copy !req
433. Right, that's out of order.
I've got a girlfriend, all right?Copy !req
434. Oh, get a life, Smithy.Copy !req
435. - This is a cracking spread.
- Thanks, Gwen.Copy !req
436. Just tuck in everyone, don't hold back.Copy !req
437. Mick, if you're going to gnaw
on the legs of helpless animalsCopy !req
438. please have the decency
not to do it under my nose.Copy !req
439. Please. Just respect my views.
As a vegetarian.Copy !req
440. That'll be my nut roast.Copy !req
441. I get 187 a week.Copy !req
442. Bit of fiddlin', I get that up to 200.Copy !req
443. I thought to myself I'm gonna
buy a Picasso.Copy !req
444. Citroen.Copy !req
445. People told me, get second hand,
don't buy new. I said, 'Why,Copy !req
446. I'm gonna drive that car till the day I die.
'I don't have to worry about depreciation.'Copy !req
447. Three year warranty or 60,000 miles,
whichever comes first.Copy !req
448. If I do 60,000 miles I will be
a walking miracle.Copy !req
449. - Do you drive, Nessa?
- I don't, Mick.Copy !req
450. Which is a shame cos I loves a good ride.Copy !req
451. Right everyone.Copy !req
452. Could I have your attention?Copy !req
453. Speech! Speech!Copy !req
454. First of all, we've had a great night
tonight, it's been blindin'.Copy !req
455. But we thought we ought to tell you all that...Copy !req
456. - Oh, my God, you're pregnant!
- No.Copy !req
457. We've set a date.Copy !req
458. We want to get married on the April 6th,Copy !req
459. which would have been Dad's 50th birthday.Copy !req
460. Oh, that's lovely that is, Stace.
He'd have been so proud.Copy !req
461. Is that April 6th next year or the April
6th as in only eight weeks from now?Copy !req
462. - As in eight weeks.
- I need a fag.Copy !req
463. It's not ideal but it's do-able.Copy !req
464. Mick, you're gonna have to call in
a favour at the golf club tomorrow.Copy !req
465. I'll ring up those lovely caterers that
Dawn had for her mother's funeral.Copy !req
466. That was a smashin' day.Copy !req
467. - Now, as for the church.
- Mum.Copy !req
468. We're getting married in Wales.Copy !req
469. - What?
- We're getting married in Barry.Copy !req
470. - I don't think so.
- We are, Mum.Copy !req
471. Oh, no you're not. Mick, tell him.Copy !req
472. - Look, let's talk about this tomorrow.
- What's the matter with Barry?Copy !req
473. BARRY ISLAND?Copy !req
474. Where you gonna have the wedding
reception - on the log flumes?Copy !req
475. We don't live on the actual Island!Copy !req
476. What's on the menu
for the wedding breakfast -Copy !req
477. - hot dogs and candy floss?
- What?Copy !req
478. All served up by a gippo on a donkey?Copy !req
479. - I beg your pardon?
- Oh, don't worry about the honeymoon.Copy !req
480. - Just go to Butlins!
- Come on, Pam! Sssshhh.Copy !req
481. If that's what they want,
that's what we'll do.Copy !req
482. I'm going for a smoke.Copy !req
483. Michael, I am NOTCopy !req
484. traipsing the best side of my family all
the way down to Wales to see my son,Copy !req
485. my only son, get married
in some dirty fairground!Copy !req
486. Well, I don't want my daughter
getting married in Essex!Copy !req
487. What she gonna wear -
a mini skirt and white stilettos?Copy !req
488. - Mum! Don't be so rude!
- Calm down!Copy !req
489. You just keep out of this.Copy !req
490. Pam, it is tradition for the bride
to be married in her home town.Copy !req
491. It's also tradition for the bride's
family to pay for the wedding!Copy !req
492. - How do you mean?
- You are paying for the lot!Copy !req
493. - Since when? You never said.
- Charming! So he didn't even know!Copy !req
494. - Stop stirring!
- I just wish someone'd told me!Copy !req
495. - Your wife gave us a false impression.
- My dad's not loaded!Copy !req
496. Give it a rest, you leek
munching sheep shagger!Copy !req
497. Look at yourselves!Copy !req
498. Will you just look at yourselves?Copy !req
499. We live in a cynical world,Copy !req
500. a cynical, cynical world.Copy !req
501. And tonightCopy !req
502. we have the chance to build
a wonderful familyCopy !req
503. that spreads across two nations.Copy !req
504. And all that mattersCopy !req
505. is that those two families are joined
by these two young people.Copy !req
506. Who cares where they get married?Copy !req
507. What matters is they are getting married.Copy !req
508. The rest... The golf clubs, the dresses,Copy !req
509. the cars, the moneys -
it don't mean diddly.Copy !req
510. All that matters is that on the 6th of April,Copy !req
511. Gavin and Stacey...Copy !req
512. commit the rest of their lives
to each other.Copy !req
513. And I for one will be proudCopy !req
514. to be there when they do.Copy !req
515. Wherever it is.Copy !req
516. - Me too.Copy !req
517. - Me too.Copy !req
518. And me.Copy !req
519. I'm so sorry. I don't know
what came over me.Copy !req
520. It's fine.Copy !req
521. - I think it's the menopause.
- I think it's the gin.Copy !req
522. All right?Copy !req
523. Nessa! Your back's covered in mud!Copy !req
524. I know. I fell over.Copy !req
525. What?Copy !req
526. I fell over.Copy !req