Game Changer 7x10

1. Get ready for a "Game Changer."

2. Tonight's guest,

3. workaholic, non-anonymous Brennan Lee Mulligan!

4. A miss who fits in magically,

5. it's Aabria Iyengar!

6. A year late and a dollar short, it's Vic Michaelis!

7. The enby we envy, Ally Beardsley!

8. And we're head over heels for Demi Adejuyigbe!

9. - What is it? What's going on?

10. What's happening?

11. - And your host, me.

12. I've been here the whole time.

13. This is "Game Changer,"

14. the only game show where the game changes every show.

15. I am your host, Sam Reich.

16. I am joined today by these five lovely candidates.

17. - What? Huh. - Interesting.

18. - Now, you all understand how the game works.

19. - I'm getting an inkling.

20. - That's right.

21. Our players have no idea what game it is

22. they're about to play.

23. The only way to learn is by playing.

24. The only way to win is by learning,

25. and the only way to begin is by beginning.

26. - It's a debate. - Yeah.

27. So without further ado,

28. - Ah, fuck. - Let's,

29. begin.

30. - Point of order.

31. Is this a debate?

32. - You'll find out.

33. - Wow!

34. I almost wore a suit as a joke.

35. - Brennan,

36. - Joe the Plumber ass over here.

37. My God.

38. Are you kidding me?

39. - Why should the audience vote for you to win the episode?

40. - Fuck. Fuck this.

41. - Yeah. - So interesting.

42. - My friends,

43. we all know

44. that nothing brings more joy than

45. elections.

46. You have an opportunity to place your vote on a candidate

47. who cannot figure out how to use that vote to harm you.

48. I thank you very much for your time.

49. - Wow. Aabria? - Yes.

50. - Why should the audience vote for you instead of Brennan?

51. - So many of our elections usually require us

52. to pick the most affable white man in a room,

53. and we don't have to do that here and now.

54. Just practice.

55. I am Black, a female and queer. Please vote for me.

56. Wow.

57. Ooh, boy.

58. - Great.

59. - Vic, in what ways are you a better choice

60. to win this episode than either Brennan or Aabria?

61. Whoa. Hey.

62. My opponents are doing a lot of talking.

63. - Oh! An accent! - Wow.

64. - Oh no! - Early commitment

65. to transatlantic for a shoot

66. that's going all day. - Absolutely.

67. You gonna do that? Yeah?

68. - I wanna do a little bit of listening.

69. What's your name?

70. - Kiana.

71. - What could make you vote for me?

72. A snack.

73. - Well, Kiana.

74. Oh god.

75. Yes, yes, yes!

76. - Where did you get that from?

77. Thank you. Thank you.

78. - Wow.

79. Wow.

80. - I secede my time!

81. - Secede?

82. - Ally, same question, and please, pull no punches.

83. - My fellow Americans,

84. times are dire,

85. and I think we can all agree

86. that I would make an incredible running mate

87. to Aabria Iyengar.

88. Yeah!

89. as Vice President!

90. - Yes, yes!

91. I love the vibe.

92. - Demi?

93. - Now,

94. - Absolutely not. - Wow.

95. - I wasn't born in this country.

96. As a man, born in London,

97. moved to Texas, grew up just a nice old southern boy

98. and wants to make dreams come true in a personal way.

99. Not just for one person,

100. but for every single person.

101. - I notice we're only shaking the hands

102. of people on the aisle.

103. Wow.

104. Coastal elite.

105. Yeah!

106. - Brennan?

107. Many voters see you as a favorite

108. to win any "Game Changer" episode.

109. My question is, what would you say to voters who plan

110. to choose someone else merely to even those odds?

111. - That's a great question, Sam. I'm so glad you asked.

112. I come on this show and I do one thing

113. and one thing only

114. and that's eat shit.

115. - Just a quick fact check. That is true.

116. - Yes.

117. How many episodes have you all had that were designed

118. around preventing you from winning?

119. The answer to the question is

120. a big fat goose egg.

121. I guarantee if I win, it will be structured in a way

122. that I can't not do what you want.

123. - Hold on.

124. Quick point of order

125. in what way would our sort of voting public be able

126. to reach you?

127. When's the last time you tweeted?

128. Ooh.

129. - I'll tweet when that motherfucker reinstates

130. Aabria Iyengar!

131. I got kicked off a while ago.

132. Thank you. Free Palestine. - I am running as Aabria Iyengar's running mate.

133. That is happening here. Today. - Wait, wait, wait.

134. - All right? - Wait a minute.

135. - You can't Tim Walz the Tim Walz.

136. Quick question. - Yes?

137. - I have a wardrobe change.

138. Can I go do that?

139. - What? - That is wild.

140. - You have a wardrobe change? - Ally, I will let you do that now.

141. - BRB.

142. - Aabria, you've been GM for Dimension 20,

143. Critical Role, the Adventure Zone,

144. Roll 20, Worlds Beyond Number.

145. What does the word loyalty mean to you?

146. - That's a really good question

147. if you think of it in terms of only serving the interests

148. of the businesses that I work with,

149. but I am loyal to the audience.

150. I am loyal

151. to the voting public.

152. I want to make sure that I am everywhere.

153. I like spreading my seed out.

154. - Oh my goodness.

155. Vic?

156. - Sam, you got a lot of questions for us.

157. I got a question for you.

158. - Ooh! - What are we running for?

159. - Our lives.

160. - You are running for the title

161. of honorary president of Dropout.

162. - Wait, that sounds fun.

163. - I'm gonna make some changes.

164. - Vic? - Yeah.

165. - You spend much of Very Important People,

166. - Sure. - Playing a character

167. that shares your same name.

168. - Yeah. - As someone so adept

169. at playing someone else,

170. how do voters know they're getting the real you?

171. - You can't.

172. Because you're not.

173. Do you want somebody that's gonna be the same

174. in every single situation?

175. Showing up to the company Christmas party,

176. the company Christmas party,

177. which as the president of Dropout,

178. I'm gonna be spending $1 million on?

179. - Yeah, you like that.

180. You're all going to be employees.

181. Yeah, yeah.

182. We're talking, - You don't know doing what.

183. - We're talking benefits!

184. Yeah! Whoa! What?

185. - Hey Vic? - Hold on. Yes?

186. - Sorry. Can I have my own dome?

187. - Yeah, absolutely.

188. - I'm Vic's running mate.

189. What's going on?

190. - How can you trust a person who promises you the moon

191. and can't even hold onto their transatlantic accent

192. for two questions? - Oh no!

193. Ally, Ally!

194. - No! - Ally, Ally, Ally,

195. Ally, Ally, Ally, Ally, Ally.

196. That wasn't necessary.

197. I'm gonna say right now,

198. the State of Florida firmly in Ally Beardsley's column.

199. - God damn it.

200. - Ally, this next question is for you.

201. - Oh, perfect timing.

202. - You're in school for carpentry,

203. which has nothing to do with comedy.

204. Why should the audience vote for you

205. when you have one foot out the door?

206. Ooh.

207. - That's a great question. It's true.

208. I am taking carpentry classes,

209. and it is true, I own a gun.

210. - That was not something I asked.

211. That was not something, - They're just for red states.

212. - No one ever asked.

213. These politicians just offer that shit up.

214. All right?

215. I don't,

216. - Did you hear what we're running for?

217. - What?

218. - To be the president of Dropout.

219. - Oh, great. I own two guns.

220. - I want to say here, the statistics are very clear

221. about the safety of gun ownership in the home.

222. And I want you to picture, instead, a much safer option.

223. Several weeks ago, and this is true,

224. I heard a strange noise in my living place,

225. where I live with my family,

226. and instead of walking out with a dangerous firearm,

227. I walked out, dick in the air,

228. with a full broadsword.

229. And that's the leadership you deserve.

230. - Why is it in the air?

231. - A vote me a vote for Aabria Iyengar.

232. - I don't want this anymore.

233. - Ally?

234. - I secede my time. - Okay.

235. - Demi? - Yes.

236. - You can sing, play multiple instruments, dance, write,

237. act, edit, give a mean PowerPoint presentation.

238. - Sure. - You're Emmy nominated.

239. You have a robust social media following.

240. - Is that true?

241. Yeah.

242. - And you were nominated

243. for best newcomer at the Edinburgh Fringe.

244. Now you're here trying to win this.

245. My question for you is, when is enough, enough?

246. - Success can only be defined

247. by the person who's pursuing it.

248. And to you all I say, I've not succeeded.

249. I can bring you jollies, follies,

250. all sorts of whims and gags.

251. I can't do that being Emmy nominated.

252. I can't do that playing the drums very, very well.

253. I can't do that being, what was it?

254. You said I'm handsome?

255. You said I'm very handsome.

256. I can't do that being very handsome.

257. Okay?

258. But what I can do for you is tell you

259. that I will always be there for you

260. as the honorary president of Dropout,

261. however long that term lasts.

262. I also own "2 Guns"...

263. on Blu-ray.

264. - Ally, can I just say,

265. right now, you look like someone who owns three guns?

266. - Yeah, for sure. - Yes, three guns,

267. two snakes, one love.

268. - Final question for all candidates

269. before we move on to our next segment.

270. If you were to win the episode,

271. how would you spend the closing credits?

272. Brennan, I'll start with you.

273. - Okay, I would spend the closing credits doing

274. literally whatever you want.

275. - I heard a smattering

276. of people saying the phrase dick in the air?

277. - Aabria?

278. - I would spend the closing credits

279. making everyone else here, Sam included,

280. they have to paint my nails.

281. Ooh.

282. - We're gonna learn acts of service as a group.

283. - Vic?

284. - Black out, no credits,

285. we'll then roll the entire "Endgame" movie.

286. - I change my answer. I change my answer!

287. Damn, you got him.

288. - That's so illegal.

289. Ally?

290. - Kinda like a "Soul Train,"

291. kind of like group dance comes on stage.

292. I'm just trying to do

293. what's possible. - These folks come on?

294. - Yes. And good music that's royalty free would play.

295. And then the screen rips open and all the Avengers come out.

296. I secede my time.

297. - Demi?

298. - I will do a back flip on the stage

299. and then I will crowd surf.

300. - Oh! - Yeah!

301. - Now the time has come for you to use your phones

302. for the first time. - Oh.

303. Please go ahead and do that.

304. - I was wondering how that was gonna work.

305. And while they do, I'm gonna go one by one

306. and capture your campaign slogans.

307. Ally, we'll start with you.

308. Great.

309. Three guns, two snakes, one love.

310. - Demi?

311. - I need this!

312. - Vulnerable and clean.

313. - Yeah. - Yeah.

314. - Aabria?

315. - I'm Brennan Lee Mulligan.

316. Brennan?

317. - I am Aabria Iyengar.

318. - Good.

319. - I can't help but feel like

320. we're already mired in misinformation.

321. - Vic?

322. - Hey guys.

323. What's up? It's Vic.

324. Hi, love ya! Vote for me.

325. If you don't, hey, no hard feelings,

326. but I'd really love it if you'd vote for me.

327. Just think about it.

328. Doesn't have to be a firm yes,

329. but a tentative yes would be awesome.

330. Okay. I love you so, so much.

331. End message.

332. - We now go to Brian David Gilbert

333. with the results of our first poll.

334. - Good afternoon, everyone. Good afternoon, Sam.

335. I am honored to be here with you

336. on this important day in our democracy.

337. Let's get into the stats.

338. So as we can see right here,

339. I'd say that we have a pretty even split.

340. For most of teams here. - I'm not even going

341. to get public funds.

342. We have a solid lead from Demi,

343. followed quickly by Vic,

344. and down at the very lowest,

345. I'm sure this is a shock to you, as a fellow white man,

346. it is Brennan Lee Mulligan.

347. - Brian, where did we go wrong?

348. - White men?

349. I can think of a few places.

350. Brennan's team, right here,

351. is just ignoring some key demographics.

352. So let's take a look at that data.

353. Now over here, at the very top, we have,

354. how chronically online are you?

355. Demi, unsurprisingly, working very well

356. to the chronically online crowd.

357. - Huh? What? - Aabria, over here,

358. Aabria is handling it quite well with the people

359. who actually touch grass.

360. - Wow. - Yes!

361. - Below this, how neurospicy are you?

362. Vic is cleaning up. - That's right.

363. - Fascinating. - Yes.

364. - Perhaps the most surprising of the demographic data,

365. - I was shocked. - We have,

366. how enthusiastic are you about D and D?

367. And Demi, not very well known for D and D, is cleaning up.

368. - Wow.

369. - I am sure that this will cause quite a stir

370. in both the Aabria and Brennan camps.

371. - I wanna say, that's fucked up.

372. - I think they just confused me and Demi.

373. Wait a second, so,

374. I feel like there's a technical difficulty.

375. I'm getting a lot of whining in my monitor

376. right now. - Yes. Yeah, for sure.

377. - Let's move on to the next demographic.

378. - Yeah. - How queer are you?

379. Vic absolutely smashing it in the queer side.

380. - Great. - Demi is handling it

381. quite well over here

382. with the straights.

383. I look at Demi, - For the first time

384. in my life.

385. And then finally, how likely are you

386. to steal hotel toiletries?

387. - Yeah. - Now, it is amazing

388. to see that both the rebels

389. and the teachers pets,

390. - Both of them!

391. Both love Demi.

392. - Unbelievable. - Interesting.

393. - Very impressive. - Huge.

394. Obviously, these are just the early exit polls.

395. We'll see how this continues.

396. Back to you, Sam.

397. Thank you very much, Brian.

398. Now, candidates, scintillating as this debate is,

399. politics really isn't just about you.

400. It's about the voters.

401. - Yeah. - So in a moment,

402. I'm gonna ask you

403. to come into the audience to meet your constituents,

404. to learn what issues matter to them.

405. You have 10 minutes starting now.

406. Okay. Shout out your Venmo handles right now.

407. I'm so for real right now. Gimme that.

408. - I guess we have 10 minutes just to chat.

409. - What issues are important to you?

410. How's it going?

411. How y'all doing back there? Good?

412. Oh!

413. - More rights just in general?

414. - Yeah. - General rights?

415. - Sorry. Sorry to cut in.

416. Hi, I'm Big Tobacco.

417. - Big Tobacco. Amazing.

418. - Yes. - I'll help you out.

419. - Gotcha. - Thank you, Big Tobacco.

420. - Hi. - Hi. How are you?

421. - We're from the American Society of Hot People.

422. - Hi guys. - Yes.

423. - I was rejected from your group, but okay.

424. - If you happen to mention...

425. - Incredible.

426. People listen to hot people.

427. - Hi, I'm Brennan.

428. - Hi, I'm Vic. It's so nice to you.

429. What was your name?

430. - Dana. - Dana?

431. It's so nice to meet you.

432. That's amazing. - Hi, I'm Brennan.

433. Nice to meet you.

434. - Hi. - Hi, I'm Kailyn.

435. - Hi, Kailyn.

436. - I represent the Crew lobby.

437. - Crew lobby.

438. - Perfect

439. - I love that. Thank you for letting me know.

440. Thank you so much.

441. It was Moose Josh?

442. Oh, I'm gonna go broke.

443. - My name is Mr. McMoney Bags.

444. Mr? Congratulations.

445. Married?

446. - Yes.

447. - Okay. - I wanted to speak to you

448. about gaining more support and how I can help with that.

449. - Great. I can't wait to get an alert from my bank.

450. - Thank you. - Asking if this is real.

451. So sorry.

452. - Will you take down Sam Reich?

453. - Even not as honorary president.

454. That's always my goal every day.

455. - Return to the stage, candidates.

456. - How much money did you spend?

457. - Upwards of $10.

458. - I'm being outspent 10 to one by my opponent.

459. - Now candidates, are there any stories that you'd like

460. to share from the campaign trail?

461. Vic, I'll start with you

462. - As a very hot person, it's really important to me

463. that we are just,

464. - Oh, I'm sorry.

465. It looks like Vic has earned the support

466. of the Hot People lobby.

467. - Oh, hi. - Wow.

468. - Nice to see you.

469. And as very hot people,

470. listen, like we're constantly like out

471. and about amongst the people, smoking cigarettes,

472. which I think looks so fucking cool.

473. - Whoa! That's music to my ears.

474. Oh.

475. Hi. I didn't see you there.

476. - Does anyone else feel like the air

477. in here is too easy to breathe?

478. Well, let me help Vic out with a little bit of dirt

479. on one of your other candidates.

480. Oh.

481. Brennan Lee Mulligan,

482. he thinks he deserves your vote,

483. but did you know he has diarrhea every day?

484. - Not every day.

485. It's not a health thing.

486. He likes the diarrhea.

487. A man who can't even treat his own toilet right,

488. can't treat the voters right.

489. Saying no to BLM.

490. - Not that one. - Not that one.

491. Not that one.

492. Not that one.

493. - I think Vic Michaelis said what they said.

494. - If I can finish, all of you are important to me.

495. Sloan, who wanted snacks,

496. Michael, who believed in rights in general,

497. as well as Mr. Money Bags,

498. who has a very special role in my cabinet

499. as super number one big boy.

500. - Wow. - That's me!

501. Excellent choice. - Is that super number one?

502. - And congratulations everybody,

503. because if you look under your chairs right now,

504. you have a single dollar bill!

505. That is a US dollar bill.

506. - No. What the fuck?

507. - That's right. That's right. - Wow.

508. - Now that you've done all of this, Vic,

509. I am gonna toss this over to Ally.

510. - Seems like there are a few things to scoop up there,

511. and Vic did scoop them all up.

512. Just the other day,

513. I was talking to my... wife.

514. We were hunting and,

515. we both pulled out a tiny little blue raspberry vape,

516. about this big,

517. and I love tobacco.

518. Was this for nothing? - Whoa!

519. That's oxygen to my lungs.

520. Ally, turns out,

521. I've got a video to play

522. on your behalf as well. - Thank God.

523. Let's throw to it right now.

524. Aabria Iyengar,

525. Oh no.

526. The perfect candidate, right?

527. Well maybe you forgot when she said this.

528. "I want to build a second Dakota Access Pipeline."

529. Really, Aabria?

530. We need a candidate who's gonna build a brighter future,

531. not a second Dakota Access pipeline.

532. Iyengar? I don't think so.

533. - I'm Ally Beardsley and I approve this message.

534. - Why did you say that?

535. - Why did you say that?

536. - I said what I said.

537. - Any anecdotes that you would like to share

538. with us from the campaign trail?

539. - There was a really fun moment

540. where I got to connect with some of the crew,

541. everyone that hangs out behind the scenes.

542. - 'Cause I think, thank you. - No!

543. I would never say that.

544. The crew is everything.

545. I'm glad I have the hair for this today.

546. They are the backbone of our community.

547. And when I say, I want to be a tyrant for Dropout,

548. it's not to the crew.

549. It's to the talent.

550. It's to all of you.

551. And all of that, for the crew,

552. in service of our constituency is what I'm running on.

553. That was so good.

554. I wish I had a delicious cigarette after.

555. A delicious?

556. - Yeah. - Whoa.

557. That's the wacky to my tobaccy.

558. Aabria, I've got a great video for you to play right now.

559. Ally Beardsley,

560. cool, normal and fun, right?

561. Yesterday, I saw them drink from a bidet

562. like it was a water fountain.

563. They put on a bib.

564. Beards? Shave it off.

565. Oh no.

566. - Ally, do you care to address this?

567. - I do actually.

568. I was just so thirsty after fighting tooth and nail

569. for a third Dakota Access Pipeline.

570. - Brennan, any anecdotes from the campaign trail

571. that you would like to share?

572. - Wow. - Wow.

573. - My friends

574. I'm not winning.

575. You guys are funny enough to know

576. that the funniest choice every time is gonna be

577. to leave my ass in the dust.

578. So I am not gonna shout out the crew,

579. the Hot lobby, Mr. Money Bags.

580. All I'm gonna say is this,

581. a nice cool mentholated cigarette.

582. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

583. That's the 2016 hit song "Closer"

584. to my New York City pop band The Chainsmokers.

585. Brennan, have I got a video for you?

586. Demi Adejuyigbe,

587. you think you know him,

588. but did you know he has a

589. goose penis?

590. - So?

591. So yeah.

592. - Yeah, yeah! - That's right.

593. My penis looks like Tigger's tail.

594. And I do be bouncing on it.

595. Oh, oh, I lost them. I went too far.

596. - Demi, any anecdotes you would like to share?

597. - I had a great time meeting my constituents,

598. people like Finley, Colleena, Dana, Taylor, Amber, Jonathan,

599. - Demi's reading off of a Venmo list.

600. - Yeah. - That's right.

601. Andrea, Rosie,

602. we got so many people that I met that I loved meeting.

603. Does anyone for real in this room have a cigarette?

604. Throw that shit at me, my man.

605. This,

606. - Good hands. - Is cool.

607. - Whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.

608. That's my D20 to my Nat 30. Whatever.

609. - Sure. - Ah, Nat 30.

610. - I know what that means.

611. - Demi, I've got a video you're gonna love

612. to see right now.

613. Vic Michaelis,

614. we've been trying to dig up dirt on them for weeks.

615. We haven't found anything.

616. Nothing.

617. They just sit inside and read chapter books.

618. Yep. And eat seedless watermelon.

619. - That's fine. - Vic?

620. Ick.

621. Oh no.

622. - Damn. Untouchable.

623. - You know, that reminds me

624. of a moment I had earlier with the crew.

625. - Wow. - Yeah!

626. - We were talking about how,

627. sometimes, you'd be reading a chapter book

628. and it isn't, doesn't satisfy the itch of a good story.

629. But what does is talking to the people,

630. hearing about the things that people

631. in our beautiful world

632. are always doing. - Yeah!

633. - They're all valuable,

634. which is why I intend to listen to them all

635. and send them all $2 on their Venmo,

636. because that's all that my Venmo will allow from me.

637. - Candidates, it's time for a town hall.

638. We'll now turn it over

639. to some audience members for questions.

640. If you have a question for the candidates,

641. please raise your hand now.

642. Ash, go ahead and select someone to take a question from.

643. - Hello, I work at the swamp making mud.

644. - Oh.

645. - For you to win,

646. how would you look out for folks like me?

647. - You know, this is reminding me

648. of someone else I talked to on the campaign trail,

649. a woman who also worked at the swamp making mud.

650. And she looked at me, tears in her eyes.

651. It was so sad.

652. She said, I lost everything in the mud. It's so deep.

653. You don't know, when the mud goes down, comes back up,

654. it's just mud, you can't see through it.

655. Mud.

656. She's weeping, she's gnashing her teeth,

657. and I say, hey,

658. fucking chill out.

659. Thank you.

660. - First of all, I just want

661. to thank you for your question so much.

662. But I'd like to tell a story about someone I grew up with

663. who also lived in a swamp.

664. And then one day, a donkey comes along,

665. and the donkey, sorry,

666. the swamp man's named Shrek.

667. Do you know?

668. - So we're just gonna assume

669. all swamp people know each other.

670. - Wow.

671. - They do.

672. - Thank you so much for that wonderful question.

673. Let's move on

674. to someone else.

675. - I myself am a one issue voter

676. Ass or titties.

677. Ass!

678. - Clear and strong right away.

679. - I love this question 'cause it reminds me

680. of someone very similar.

681. A mother of three came up to me, tears in her eyes,

682. and she said, which do you like more on me?

683. And I said, I'm not comfortable answering that.

684. Ass.

685. - Ass or titties?

686. Yes. Please.

687. - I don't believe that we should have to choose.

688. I believe that we should get titties

689. that squeeze together to kind of look like a butt.

690. And I believe that we should put nipples

691. on the butt to make it look more like titties.

692. - Wow. - Thank you very much.

693. Thank you. - Innovation.

694. - I will say that, obviously, all bodies are wonderful. Ass.

695. Thank you.

696. - Thank you so much.

697. - Anyone else?

698. - Of all the animals, which would you be the happiest

699. to see go extinct?

700. Wow.

701. - Man.

702. - That's crazy.

703. - Specie.

704. Money itself.

705. Specie is another word for currency.

706. - Is it?

707. - Look it up, motherfuckers.

708. - Wow.

709. - We are going full "Star Trek," gay space communism.

710. I appreciate your reaction.

711. Ain't no way you're voting for me.

712. - There is an enemy from within.

713. - Sure. - That's facing this country.

714. - Not in those glasses.

715. - It's a little too real, isn't it?

716. Yeah.

717. - And I'm gonna go out and kill every cat on Planet Earth.

718. Wow.

719. - Wow. Wow. - Picking sides, Ally.

720. - The answer is mosquitoes.

721. - I definitely could have said that instead of cats.

722. - I happen to be a space alien,

723. - Sure. Congrats.

724. - and I need you to sell me on humanity.

725. Oh. Fun.

726. - Pass. - Where else you going

727. to get water, buddy?

728. Where else you gonna get stories?

729. - I'm sorry.

730. Didn't you just say humans should be extinct?

731. - I said, man, singular.

732. - I understand reserving judgment on humanity.

733. The journey of discovering how

734. and why we matter is probably the one thing you

735. and us most share.

736. Have you ever had Fettuccine Alfredo?

737. It's so fucking good.

738. - Any other question?

739. - Lemme take this moment to just check on the hot people.

740. Y'all good?

741. - Yeah. - Thank you so much

742. for checking on us. - Great. Money Bags?

743. - I'm also hot.

744. - There goes the rich vote.

745. That's fair, that's fair.

746. - Thank you. - Hello, candidates.

747. I was just curious

748. if any of you are concerned about misinformation,

749. but can you please phrase your answer in a way

750. that could be edited to sound bad?

751. - Great.

752. - Ally?

753. - All cats should

754. be killed by me.

755. - My campaign has been engaging in nonstop misinformation.

756. - Misinformation is obviously devastating.

757. I think Ronald Reagan is super hot.

758. I would open mouth kiss Ronald Reagan right now

759. if given the opportunity.

760. - I also would

761. wanna kiss Ronald Reagan too.

762. We wanna kiss Ronald Reagan,

763. - Now! - Yeah.

764. Do your research.

765. - I don't believe in BLM.

766. - Wow.

767. - Misinformation is maybe the most devastating factor

768. in this entire campaign.

769. And of course I

770. have goose penis.

771. Every time I got erect,

772. it sounds something like,

773. Every single time that I see,

774. you know, a nice ass, a beautiful pair of titties,

775. maybe, you know, nipples on the ass,

776. my penis suddenly makes a noise that sounds like,

777. Ronald Reagan's pouty lips.

778. Yeah.

779. These are such great questions. Thank you.

780. - So good. - These are really great questions.

781. - So you've all presented very likable versions

782. of yourselves tonight.

783. What is the least relatable thing about each of you?

784. - I didn't win the D and D demographic.

785. So clearly,

786. clearly something about me doesn't connect with people.

787. You know, I think there's a struggle in our modern society

788. to constantly be relatable.

789. And I think that actually flies in the face of something

790. that is so beautiful about humankind,

791. which is that our strength is the fact

792. that we are so multifaceted.

793. - Who's dissociating?

794. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

795. - To answer your question,

796. I love a Fettuccine Alfredo.

797. - Would anyone else like to answer this question?

798. - I can go bar for bar in sincerity.

799. The least relatable thing about me is that I get

800. to like come to work every day with the funniest,

801. kindest people in the whole wide world.

802. And I know that's not a thing that everyone gets to do,

803. and I know how lucky I am.

804. And even coming to "Game Changer," I hate surprises.

805. - I hate it. - Yeah.

806. - This is the scariest thing in the whole world.

807. - Aabria said that backstage and we went, what?

808. - Why are you here? - Yeah.

809. - It's taken us seven seasons

810. to get to this point. - Yeah.

811. I keep not returning emails.

812. But knowing that I get to be here with people that I love

813. and respect and who make me laugh and make me feel good,

814. it's really nice.

815. And Fettuccine Alfredo.

816. - Yeah.

817. - Yeah, no, I love that.

818. And I love,

819. no, no, no.

820. - Bless your heart. - No, it is true.

821. Aabria, come back.

822. - I don't want to. - Come back.

823. It was such wonderful sentiments,

824. and I completely agree, - Jump.

825. Jump. - And I don't, jump?

826. - Yeah. - Okay.

827. And I don't, I don't know what else there,

828. I don't know what else to add other than,

829. I think, maybe the least likable part about me is,

830. - Wow.

831. - Keep going. You're doing so good.

832. - Honestly, the least relatable part about me,

833. I would say, is probably that

834. I'm so hot.

835. - Demi and Ally? - Yes?

836. - Anything from you? - I'll go the sincere route

837. as well.

838. I am currently in a position to be able

839. to afford all the dental work I need.

840. I haven't made a single appointment, but it's there.

841. - There are many things about me that are unrelatable,

842. but the thing I'll point out the most is

843. that some people smoke a cigarette

844. one at a time. - Are you gonna do it again?

845. - You need to Venmo that person $19.

846. - Some people smoke cigarettes

847. two at a time, me?

848. - I smoke a cigarette,

849. - Three at a time!

850. Every time, three cigarettes. Never any less.

851. - You're like a Donald Duck cartoon.

852. - I'm being told there's an actual politician

853. in the building.

854. - Shut up.

855. - Introducing now, after seven seasons,

856. - No!

857. - The former Secretary of Labor and my father, Robert Reich.

858. - That's so cool.

859. Yeah!

860. - Now players, you must each try

861. to win Robert Reich's endorsement.

862. - Mm. - Oh.

863. - Demi.

864. - Bobby, what's your Venmo?

865. - Wow. Yeah, going right in.

866. Wow. Strong start.

867. - Strong start. - More where that came from.

868. - Is that $3? - Now, Dad,

869. I know you're the inequality guy,

870. but does $3 mean anything to you?

871. - No.

872. - Dang. - Whoa.

873. - Wow. - Thank you though.

874. - Yeah. - Yeah.

875. - Ally? - This is not really

876. to get your vote, it's just a true story.

877. One time a woman just cornered me

878. at a house party telling me how much

879. of a difference you made in her life.

880. - Aww. - As a teacher.

881. Yeah, yeah.

882. - Clearly going for the heartstrings.

883. Dad, does that story mean anything to you?

884. - No.

885. - Tough but fair.

886. - Mr. Reich, who's your target audience?

887. - Everybody.

888. Fun.

889. - Would you say there's any holes

890. in that demographic?

891. - Republicans.

892. - We have a video online already

893. that says we're going to make out with Ronald Reagan.

894. - That is true.

895. - We'll be the face of the Republican Party for Dropout.

896. Whoa.

897. Come on, buddy. - Hey. Yeah, yeah.

898. Here's the thing.

899. - Look, what do they like more than two non-cis people?

900. - I can help. I can help. Hold on.

901. You need a Black femme traitor.

902. All together.

903. - Here's what I'm saying. Let's get a show going.

904. It's gonna be aimed towards Republicans.

905. Sorry, just don't listen to this for a sec.

906. Yeah.

907. - We are going to talk

908. to everybody's uncle at Thanksgiving,

909. and they're gonna be quoting us,

910. and all of a sudden, their kids are gonna be like, whoa,

911. what is that?

912. That is policy theory

913. that I didn't even know that you knew existed.

914. - Yeah. - Yeah.

915. - That's gonna be us talking to them.

916. We're gonna surprise,

917. - Yeah. - Jump them with democracy.

918. So I'm just saying, - So no one's uncles

919. get confused.

920. - Great. - Just think about it.

921. - Listen, if you don't go with us,

922. that's literally no problem at all.

923. Now listen to Brennan's little sad story

924. that he's about to tell you.

925. - Aabria, do you have a pitch of your own

926. or are you officially aligning yourself?

927. - I'm aligning myself with Vic's pitch,

928. but I do just want to say as, like,

929. a poli sci major, like thank you.

930. I studied your policies.

931. It was very cool.

932. - So yeah, we'll go three ways on that pitch then.

933. - Yeah, we're going threesies.

934. - Brennan?

935. - Wow. This is very meaningful.

936. Where you from?

937. - My father!

938. - I was born in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

939. - Ooh. - Wow.

940. - Fighting Scranton, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

941. But that's not where Sam was born.

942. And where is Sam from?

943. - Cambridge, Massachusetts.

944. - Yes! - Ah! How about that!

945. - I got the full "Game Changer" experience, baby.

946. He's one of us.

947. - I was there, in fact,

948. Oh my God.

949. - I was the first one

950. to hold him.

951. Aw.

952. - His head was right here,

953. and his little feet were right here,

954. and he was so cute.

955. - Aww. - What happened?

956. - You started turning into me.

957. - Yeah. Oh my god, that's so true.

958. It's dangerously true.

959. - Wait a minute. Are you trying to get my endorsement?

960. Because if you are,

961. you've got to start telling me what you're going

962. to do for me.

963. - I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do for you, Mr. Reich.

964. I'm gonna straighten out your son.

965. - Let's hear him out. - Your son has been playing

966. a merry prankster,

967. a glib little imp who dances around the platform,

968. whose father, who gave him life,

969. who set him up back in Cambridge, Massachusetts,

970. so he didn't have to grow up in that rust bucket Scranton,

971. he had the height of that East Coast,

972. - Wait a minute, did you just say height?

973. - Wow.

974. - The height, sir, of achievement,

975. which this young man has seen fit to keep from you.

976. Your videos taking voters, trying to show them how

977. and why they are getting fucked,

978. where's the Robert Reich video on Dropout.tv?

979. - Ooh. - Wow.

980. - I'll tell you this,

981. we're gonna get you in the goddamn dome.

982. - To play D and D?

983. - We're gonna get you in the dome.

984. - Brennan's really pandering

985. for that D and D vote right now.

986. - Well pitched.

987. - I'm gonna get your son.

988. - Well pitched. - So Dad,

989. who has earned the Robert Reich bump?

990. - Demi.

991. Demi!

992. - Money talks! Money talks!

993. - With $3. - Money talks.

994. With $3!

995. - He took the money.

996. Wow.

997. Honestly, not where I thought that was going.

998. - Me either.

999. - So we were, - What do we want?

1000. Attention!

1001. When do we want it?

1002. Now! - Now!

1003. - What do we want?

1004. - Attention!

1005. When do we want it?

1006. - Now!

1007. - Try Guys, what is going on here?

1008. Oh, Try Guys, what is going on here?

1009. All day, we've had to stand here

1010. and listen to questions about Dropout

1011. when there are other niche comedy streaming services

1012. out there equally deserving of attention.

1013. - Like 2nd Try!

1014. - Yeah, come on - Like 2nd Try!

1015. - Share the pie with,

1016. 2nd Try!

1017. Share the pie with 2nd Try! - I don't know about this.

1018. Security?

1019. - Dropout is a fascist institution!

1020. - That's not a, - I'm sorry,

1021. were they saying, "Semper Fi 2nd Try?"

1022. Sam, why was Grant O'Brien here?

1023. - So sorry about that disturbance. You know?

1024. - Wow. - No, you know what?

1025. You should apologize for silencing them

1026. because, if you were to vote for me, I would stand up high

1027. and tell you, maybe we should be giving

1028. more attention to white men.

1029. - God, I'm losing my only lane.

1030. - Now, audience,

1031. it's time to use your phone for a second time.

1032. - Wow. - Oh boy.

1033. So please go ahead and open those apps

1034. and let me know how your decisions are trending.

1035. In the meanwhile, candidates, I'd like to ask each of you

1036. for the email subject line of your fundraising campaign.

1037. - Yeah. - Starting with Brennan.

1038. - A little bit more money would help us.

1039. Take your time. No rush.

1040. - Aabria?

1041. - I think I'm pretty famously on the record

1042. for never sending or checking an email,

1043. and I will not start now for this bit.

1044. - I appreciate you for standing by your principles. Vic?

1045. Hey!

1046. Oh my God. What's up?

1047. Hi. Oh my God.

1048. Whoa. Been a while.

1049. Vic here. It's Vic.

1050. Vic, Vic. Vic.

1051. What is your name?

1052. Kidding. I know.

1053. I'm sending you an email.

1054. JK. LOL. - And character limit.

1055. - Great.

1056. - Ally?

1057. - Fire, a bunch of exclamation points.

1058. - Yeah. - Just kidding.

1059. But hey, we need your money.

1060. - Demi? - What's up, baby?

1061. Nigerian Prince here.

1062. Wow. Wow, wow.

1063. - I'd like to invite back to the stage,

1064. Brian David Gilbert to update us on the latest.

1065. - Sam, things are certainly heating up

1066. in this candidate race.

1067. Let's take a look at the latest.

1068. - What the fuck?

1069. - That's really funny.

1070. That's really funny.

1071. - Good news and bad news.

1072. - Sure. - The good news is,

1073. we're back on top, baby. - Hell yeah!

1074. - And hey, you all did that.

1075. - Unfortunately, it does seem to be a dead heat

1076. between Demi, Vic and Aabria.

1077. The important thing to note here is that Ally has seemed

1078. to lose everything?

1079. Yeah.

1080. - Do we know if the cat thing had anything to do?

1081. Oh, the cat ban.

1082. - Hey, going back to our general demo screen,

1083. how are the candidates trending overall?

1084. Wow.

1085. - It appears that the pity party technique has worked

1086. really, really well. - Yes.

1087. - Obviously, any candidate could win,

1088. except probably Ally.

1089. - Thank you so much, as ever,

1090. - for your fine reporting. - Of course.

1091. See you all later.

1092. - The pity party is the name

1093. of your political party, correct?

1094. - Yes. - Yeah, it is.

1095. - Listen, I'm vewwy sad.

1096. - Ally and Aabria?

1097. - Yeah. - Yeah.

1098. - With 4% and 13% of the vote, respectively,

1099. you must now drop out of the race

1100. and endorse a fellow candidate.

1101. - Tough but fair. - Remaining candidates,

1102. why should they pick you?

1103. Vic, I'll start with you. - Yeah.

1104. If you feel a strong connection to somebody, pick them.

1105. I know Brennan's got this whole big pity thing going on

1106. and that's beautiful and I love that.

1107. - The Pity Party.

1108. - Brennan, what is your role at Dropout again?

1109. - I am a proud member of the Dropout crew.

1110. This is the hardest working crew in Hollywood.

1111. I am proud

1112. to stand alongside each and every one of these people.

1113. - Yeah, into it. - Darth Vader voice.

1114. We're gonna keep it fun.

1115. We're gonna keep it funky,

1116. and we're gonna keep working

1117. to make great content for you, the people here.

1118. Yeah.

1119. - In my administration, there is no policy,

1120. no project that will not have your fingerprints on it.

1121. I will do this side by side with you every day.

1122. - Demi?

1123. Why should Aabria and Ally endorse you?

1124. - They shouldn't. Their names are tainted.

1125. - Wow!

1126. Wow.

1127. Bold!

1128. Ally and Aabria, the choice is yours.

1129. Aabria, I'll start with you.

1130. - When I was sweating and freaking out back there,

1131. you said, we were in together. - Yeah.

1132. And I am a bitch of my word.

1133. You've got my full support.

1134. - Wow. - Let's go.

1135. - Aabria, you may join Vic at their podium. Ally?

1136. - Fun. - Picture all of this

1137. in a Notes app.

1138. It's come to my attention No.

1139. - that some of you have seen a video of me

1140. leaving the strip club late at night.

1141. And it's true.

1142. And I just want to come clean about that.

1143. I used my power and I really manipulated a number of women,

1144. and on that, I'd like to give my,

1145. I'd like to give, hey,

1146. hey, and I'm dropping out.

1147. Hey. Hey, I'm dropping out.

1148. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't vote

1149. for Brennan Lee Mulligan.

1150. - Ally, you may stay right there at Brennan's podium.

1151. - Yes. - Oh my god.

1152. - Incredible. - Truly, perfection.

1153. - Hey, come on. You're one of the good ones.

1154. - The time has come to select your running mate.

1155. - Yes! - These can be anyone

1156. in the room.

1157. - Oh, fun.

1158. - The person next to you, a member of the audience,

1159. one of the great cameos we've had so far today.

1160. The only person it cannot be is me.

1161. Oh.

1162. - Cigarette guy, you wanna run?

1163. Get up here! Get up here!

1164. Thank you.

1165. Finally, a white man on my team.

1166. What's your name?

1167. - Dale.

1168. - Dale? Thank you so much.

1169. - Of course. - Dale Camel, everybody.

1170. - Wow.

1171. Elaine, do you wanna jump in?

1172. - Fucked up. That's fucked up.

1173. - It's an honor and a privilege to,

1174. as my running mate, choose none other

1175. than the wonderful

1176. Elaine Carroll.

1177. - Could it be said that this is a decision

1178. because the person who just endorsed you is a predator?

1179. - Hmm?

1180. What's that?

1181. - You're good.

1182. - Make way for mama.

1183. My guy.

1184. This is my guy right here.

1185. - Vic?

1186. - Ally Beardsley's sunglasses.

1187. - Ally Beardsley's,

1188. - sunglasses. - Sunglasses.

1189. - Those were there that night.

1190. Just so you know.

1191. - Can we have somebody wear the sunglasses?

1192. - For sure.

1193. - Alien. Yeah. - Alien.

1194. Yes.

1195. - Candidates, you have one challenge left,

1196. and it's to direct your very own campaign commercial.

1197. Behind Demi, you will find,

1198. - a green screen. - Oh!

1199. Here is how this is gonna work.

1200. One at a time,

1201. my candidates will approach the green screen

1202. and give us lines to camera.

1203. You may then select four other people on stage

1204. to deliver lines in your commercial as well.

1205. They can be any of the folks on stage.

1206. I also brought you some additional production value.

1207. - Absolutely incredible.

1208. - Yes. - How did they get Lin-Manuel Miranda?

1209. - Now, first up, let's say, Demi.

1210. - You know, in politics,

1211. money talks and I'm the only one on the stage who's got any.

1212. I'm promising you a chicken in every pot

1213. and a cigarette in every garage.

1214. - They say smoke 'em if you got 'em,

1215. Demi's got 'em all.

1216. - We're beautiful, and we love Demi.

1217. Even though he's an objective,

1218. - Seven. - Three.

1219. - I'm a big fat liar. Don't vote for me.

1220. - Vote for me.

1221. - Killer campaign commercial.

1222. - Thank you so much.

1223. - Brennan?

1224. - Okay, copy that.

1225. - There's nothing that I like more

1226. than crashing my cybertruck into playgrounds

1227. in specifically underserved neighborhoods.

1228. And I do it every night with Vic Michaelis.

1229. - And how.

1230. - Demi found me before the show

1231. and threatened to kick the dog shit outta me

1232. if I didn't give him all my cigarettes.

1233. They were a gift from my father.

1234. - I hereby announce that I'm dropping out of the race,

1235. and endorsing my running mate, Elaine Carroll.

1236. - I'm just gonna be really honest and say,

1237. I was not prepared to be on stage.

1238. I did like a real light makeup job today.

1239. Thanks for the mic and for the endorsement.

1240. I guess I'm running.

1241. - We love an authentic candidate.

1242. Thank you so much, Elaine.

1243. Vic, that's you up.

1244. - Does anybody know about the Nutter Butter page on TikTok?

1245. I could be anything. I could be anything.

1246. I could be anything.

1247. I could be anything. I could be anything.

1248. Oh yeah!

1249. - Cut, done. - Incredible.

1250. - Nutter Butter, eat your heart out.

1251. - Wow. - Done.

1252. - Well candidates, that brings us

1253. to the moment we've been waiting for,

1254. the final vote.

1255. - Wait, hold on.

1256. Can we give it up for the crew?

1257. Wow.

1258. - Thank you very much, crew. - Thank you.

1259. - It is just about time to vote, audience.

1260. Before we do, I'd like to remind you

1261. who you're voting for.

1262. The campaign of Demi, a cigarette,

1263. and the man who gave him cigarettes.

1264. The campaign of Vic, Aabria, the Hot People,

1265. Mr. McMoney Bags and Ally's sunglasses.

1266. And finally, the campaign of a reticent Elaine,

1267. Brennan Lee Mulligan, and some guy who just stumbled out

1268. of a strip club. - It shouldn't be

1269. such a big deal.

1270. - With that, I would like to invite Brian David Gilbert back

1271. to the stage.

1272. - Folks, we are going to be watching

1273. as the votes come in live.

1274. Everyone, could you please submit your votes

1275. starting now.

1276. Sam, the votes are coming in hot and fast.

1277. This is, oh, a dead heat.

1278. Oh, I,

1279. I was not expecting this, Sam,

1280. but I think it's time for us to call it, Sam.

1281. Would you please do the honors?

1282. - The honorary president of Dropout is

1283. Vic Michaelis.

1284. Wow.

1285. - I'm so proud of you.

1286. - Vic, would you swear on this copy

1287. of Dropout's Terms and Conditions,

1288. by placing your right hand here

1289. and saying, I accept this honor?

1290. - Right hand. - Mmhmm.

1291. - Neurospicy folks in the house!

1292. I accept this honor

1293. only if Aabria gets to do it with me.

1294. - That does it for us here at "Game Changer."

1295. I'm Sam Reich, reminding you that,

1296. if you're still in line, stay in line.

1297. Goodnight.

1298. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

1299. This is one of my favorite things

1300. we have ever, ever, ever do-