Game Changer 6x8

1. - Buildings, buildings, buildings.

2. It seems this city is full of them.

3. But it's what's inside those buildings that really matters.

4. That's right, I'm talking about doors.

5. And behind those doors, people.

6. - Okay, what the hell?

7. - Oh my god. (laughing)

8. This is crazy.

9. - Wow, wow, wow. Okay.

10. Sam as a wizard, Sam as a wizard.

11. Pretty good wizard pose. Pretty good.

12. Way to go, Sam. (Ally laughing)

13. - Sam looks great. Is that a little eyeliner?

14. - Oh my god!

15. This is really cute.

16. Ooh, I feel like a forest princess.

17. - Oh god.

18. Oh no!

19. Oh, Sam, look at yourself in that picture.

20. This looks like where Sam films his OnlyFans videos.

21. - Please, Grant. I call them OnlySams.

22. - Sam's got a type of art he likes, that's for sure.

23. I bet you he pulled these from what's hanging over his bed.

24. Poor Elaine.

25. Rekha, you have no idea.

26. - Okay.

27. Sorry. Can't help it.

28. - I like that my loop-de-loop is a little gayer

29. than the loop-de-loop normally is.

30. - I can't believe you trust us in a hotel room.

31. That's on you, and I'm ordering

32. a negroni room service immediately.

33. - This feels like "The Circle".

34. - Legally distinct from it, actually.

35. - I love a "Game Changer" episode where I just get to sit.

36. This is really doing it for me.

37. - I'm so nervous.

38. Come on, monitor.

39. - Get ready for a game changer!

40. - Oh my.

41. - Tonight's guests, shh!

42. And your host, me!

43. - I've been here the whole time!

44. - Sicko. - This is "Game Changer",

45. the only game show where the game changes every show.

46. I am your host, Sam Reich.

47. I am joined today by all of you.

48. - Hi.

49. - Now, you all understand how the game works.

50. - No. - We, of course, do not.

51. - No, Sam, we don't!

52. - That's right, our players have no idea

53. what game it is they're about to play.

54. The only way to learn is by playing,

55. the only way to win is by learning,

56. and the only way to begin is by beginning.

57. So without further ado, let's begin.

58. Players, earlier today,

59. you were asked to create an identity.

60. In a moment, I'm going to ask for you

61. to create a larger than life character

62. to catfish as throughout the day.

63. - Okay. - Okay.

64. - Okay. - God, okay.

65. - Well, the character I'm most excited to play

66. is Grant O'Brien, role of a lifetime.

67. - It is your job to identify what cast member

68. is behind what character.

69. It is also your job not to be identified.

70. The prize?

71. A billboard on Hollywood Boulevard

72. you can use to promote whatever you want.

73. The ultimate platform. - Wow.

74. - That's a good prize.

75. - I could use a billboard.

76. For what?

77. Who knows.

78. - Let's start by setting up your profiles.

79. - Okay. Players, please set up your profiles.

80. I'll need to following information from you.

81. - Name. - Age.

82. - Pronouns. - Profession.

83. - Location. - Bio.

84. - Oh, first player, Granma Sweetie.

85. - My name is Granma Sweetie.

86. G-R-A-N-M-A, S-W-E-E-T-I-E,

87. and that's a nickname.

88. She doesn't feel comfortable giving you her real name.

89. - Age, 87 years young, with a U.

90. That's crazy.

91. - My profession, that's a good question.

92. She's retired, but worked on the line

93. in a Ford factory making cars.

94. - Monday through Friday, Granma,

95. Saturday and Sunday, also Granma.

96. This is really cute.

97. - I think she's just going to be checking in on people.

98. She just wants to see how everyone's doing.

99. She's gonna let 'em know she cares about 'em.

100. - The spelling is intentionally bad.

101. The capitalization on the W in Sweetie

102. is someone who thinks they have good spelling,

103. and is trying to cover for it.

104. - Pine Log, California.

105. There's something about that

106. that reads Jacob Wysocki to me.

107. - My thinking right now,

108. this, to me, sounds like Ally.

109. - I do think that there will be people

110. who can reverse engineer that this was me,

111. but I don't know that people will immediately think it's me.

112. I think it's just obfuscated enough

113. to help me get through this.

114. - (gasps) I'm next! (screams)

115. Hi, my name is Jack Stryker.

116. I own a boutique talent agency here in Los Angeles.

117. - Been in the biz since I was 18.

118. I worked my way up from the mail room at CAA, the right way.

119. - At first, I wanted to be a screenwriter,

120. but then I realized I really belonged behind the scenes,

121. helping actors and writers and directors

122. advance in their careers.

123. - I own a boutique agency

124. called the Stryker Management Corporation

125. where I make dreams come true.

126. I made Lauren Mulfax a star.

127. - My advice? Get to know me.

128. - Emojis, none. Hashtags are for people in their 30s.

129. That's Grant O'Brien.

130. - Immediately kind of thinking Grant.

131. - I, Katie Marovitch,

132. have a hard time not being an agent of chaos.

133. I need to take a step back

134. and I need to be slightly more grounded

135. so that the other people do not know.

136. I'm going to be the first out if anyone knows I'm here.

137. - Come on, Katie. "Survivor" was years ago.

138. - Coming up next, Jackson Alberta, PhD.

139. - My name is Jackson Alberta, PhD.

140. Did I just break my glasses?

141. - Oh, I hope not!

142. - I'm 51, I have salt and pepper hair,

143. and all my students fall in love.

144. I can't help it. My location is...

145. Sam, where is there an Ivy League school?

146. - Goddammit!

147. - New Haven, Connecticut.

148. - New Haven, Connecticut. Okay, Yale.

149. - Professor of Symbology.

150. - What the fuck is that?

151. - I crack ancient codes.

152. - I have adventures all across the States and Europe.

153. Never the Global South, though.

154. Jackson Alberta's kind of a bad guy.

155. Handsome, but he's a bad guy.

156. - Art imitating life, I see.

157. - Symbology is, like, "The Da Vinci Code",

158. which is such divorced dad porn.

159. - If there's one word that describes Jackson Alberta, PhD,

160. it's dashing.

161. He's always...

162. He always knows just what to say.

163. He never does what I just did.

164. He never starts something

165. and then has to kind of rephrase it a little bit.

166. That's not his thing.

167. I'm describing a guy I'd like to be.

168. - So they're not revealing a ton.

169. - I have no idea who's playing Jackson.

170. That's so little info to go off of.

171. - If I were being Grant, I'd have a whole bunch of funny,

172. you know, witticisms and jokes.

173. But I think a nice minimalist profile is the way to go.

174. I think I've kind of got people on the ropes a little bit.

175. - Symbology is reading as either Brennan, Siobhan, or Jacob.

176. - I think for this game, I have to kind of watch myself

177. to not be too Grant-y.

178. You know, Grant is just such an interesting character,

179. such a fascinating person with so many quick bon mots.

180. But I mustn't. I mustn't bon mot.

181. Introducing The Landlord.

182. Who wants to play a landlord even fictionally?

183. - My name is The Landlord,

184. and I'm a professional wrestler, baby, yeah!

185. Woo! (laughing)

186. - The Landlord, he/him, 56.

187. We got a lot of 50-year-olds.

188. - When I step into the duplex, get ready for a suplex.

189. I'm here to collect the rent. (laughs)

190. - (laughs) Collect the rent

191. is a really funny, horrible motto.

192. - From the top rope! (grunts)

193. I've been in the game too long. I'm 56.

194. I got a lot of injuries, and I'm not in a union!

195. I never see my kids!

196. - Computer, what does suplex mean?

197. Can this thing talk back to me?

198. - It cannot.

199. - I just really like that. Is this Raph?

200. - That could be Ify.

201. - I feel like this could be Ally.

202. - I think that The Landlord is not close to who Jessica is.

203. I feel like people would think

204. if Katie's here or Rekha's here,

205. that they would play as big, over the top characters

206. that would want to punch somebody,

207. so I think I'll just play that up as if I'm one of them.

208. I'm sure everyone is watching this right now, thinking,

209. wow, this is a really fleshed out character.

210. A bug with a big ass.

211. If anything is immediately Rekha, this is it.

212. - I've never read something more Rekha

213. in my entire life.

214. - My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan,

215. but for today, it can't be, so instead,

216. I will be a bug with a big ass.

217. Uh-oh, my problems are gonna be the problems

218. of a bug with a big ass.

219. Not being able to get out from under the sofa

220. because of my big ass.

221. I got in there just fine,

222. but when I tried to get back out again,

223. my ass got too big and now I'm stuck.

224. Please help.

225. - 40 years old, unemployed, here.

226. I need help because I'm a bug with a big ass.

227. - Bug is, I think, medium bug size.

228. Not as small as a fruit fly,

229. but not as big as a rhinoceros beetle.

230. See, this is the kind of bug facts

231. that I can't be doing online,

232. or they're gonna come after me.

233. They're gonna know.

234. If people ask me what kind of bug I am,

235. I'm going to say, "Good question."

236. The person that I want to invite people to assume I am

237. is Rekha.

238. - Listen, I'm telling you right now, that's Rekha.

239. - I think a bug with a big ass is Rekha,

240. because Rekha loves big asses.

241. - Rekha is brilliant,

242. but is fascinated by dumb things.

243. Specifically, cute little things

244. with oversized secondary sexual characteristics

245. is a real sandbox that Rekha likes to play in.

246. - I am actually very grateful for a bug with a big ass,

247. because that sounds like me.

248. - Damn, even Rekha thinks this is Rekha.

249. - Let's see. Adjustable side table, walnut.

250. - I love that Sam was like, "Larger than life characters!"

251. and people were like, "Nice try.

252. I'm going to be an adjustable side table, walnut."

253. - Who's a little goober? Who's a fellow goober?

254. - I am adjustable side table, comma, walnut.

255. I am a side table professionally,

256. with aspirations to be a main table.

257. - Adjustable side table, walnut.

258. Pronouns, it. Age, 32 years old.

259. - Grant likes to pretend he's 32, so that could be Grant.

260. - Profession, side table. Location, furniture warehouse.

261. Bio, 2 foot five, three foot five. Adjustable, yeah.

262. - I am adjustable,

263. so I am highly adaptable to any environment.

264. Sometimes you put your drinks on me.

265. Sometimes you sit on me when there's too many people

266. and you didn't count how many chairs you needed.

267. My strategy is to just kind of be genuine, you know?

268. I want to make real connections here.

269. I don't want to stay on the sideline.

270. I want to be a main table at this table.

271. - Ooh, looking to make genuine connection

272. with individuals who have main table dreams.

273. - So you're either in the silly billy category,

274. or you're in the attention to detail category.

275. - I think there's something

276. about how specific and correct the language is.

277. For some reason, I'm getting Tao.

278. - This could also be Ally.

279. Am I going to guess Ally for everyone?

280. - Why do they all feel like fucking Beardsley?

281. - But again, I also see Beardsley...

282. Here we go. Great, good.

283. This is really good.

284. I'll have plenty to talk to my therapist about

285. after whatever today is.

286. - The mark of any good "Game Changer" episode.

287. - What if it actually is Brennan?

288. I will laugh so hard.

289. - Get in the comments! And get me a coffee!

290. My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan.

291. I'm thirty...

292. Four?

293. - 35. - I'm 35.

294. I am a professional

295. comedian, writer, DM.

296. I live in Los Angeles, California,

297. with my beautiful wife Izzy Roland and our cat.

298. Two cats? I gotta know this stuff.

299. I gotta deep dive on Instagram

300. in the next five minutes before we start.

301. - Hello, it's Brennan. I'll be transparent.

302. Life has been pretty hectic, and as a joke,

303. I pitched that I play myself.

304. It's really just me, gang.

305. We'll see if this totally backfires.

306. - Gang? That does sound like Brennan.

307. - Someone's really playing it as straight as they can.

308. - So it's someone that knows

309. that my life actually has been pretty hectic.

310. That could be Beardsley, it could be Rekha.

311. - I've spent a little bit of time with Brennan.

312. I think I can channel his voice.

313. I feel like it'll be really fun,

314. because on a personal level, I have been wanting

315. to win one of these games for a very long time.

316. So really, I'm just,

317. I'm tapping into Brennan's competitive spirit.

318. See you in there, gang.

319. - And last but not least, Steven.

320. - Okay, Steven. - Steven.

321. - Steven!

322. - Steven. Age, maybe 7,000? (laughing)

323. Stupid!

324. - Location, Sylmar.

325. - Pronoun, it/itssss.

326. - Profession, top snake in Medusa's snake hair. (laughing)

327. - I was born just a regular sea snake,

328. and I met Medusa at a coffee shop,

329. and she was looking to organize an entire head of snakes

330. to turn people into stone.

331. - I lied and said I could do that skill,

332. but then with the help of the ancient internet,

333. I learned how to perform stone magic

334. and I hired a bunch of derelict snakes.

335. Okay, self-starter.

336. - This is so cute and silly.

337. I just think a silly little billy made this one.

338. - If we're talking about what could be a clue,

339. Sylmar feels like a Beardsley specific.

340. - There's certain people who would like to play something

341. kind of fantasy-related or history-related,

342. and there's certain people like me

343. that would never ever ever ever want to do that.

344. It could be like a Carolyn thing.

345. - This is really funny and has a lot of info in it,

346. and that kind of puts me in the direction,

347. I think this is either Vic or Brennan.

348. - This is some Brennan bullshit.

349. - This could be someone

350. who's trying to cover as me a little bit.

351. I could see this being Beardsley.

352. This could also be Carolyn.

353. - Guys, I don't know. I don't know.

354. - Oh, Jackson.

355. You don't even know what you don't know.

356. - The chat is open! Oh my god, oh my god.

357. Brennan would not chat early.

358. The whole thing that I'm playing

359. is like his life is kind of hectic.

360. He's trying to chill a little bit,

361. so I'll let other people open up.

362. - Okay, let's have Jack say,

363. hello, comma, everyone.

364. Oh wait, no, don't say that,

365. because that's a Katie Marovitch thing.

366. Say hi, period. Send.

367. - Hi. Great start.

368. - Let's send a message. Please help me.

369. - Please help me! (laughing)

370. Wait, I love bug.

371. - @ABugWithABigAss, how big are we talking?

372. - Kicking off the DMs

373. the way you always do, eh, Grant?

374. - Are you helping me? And then Y dash N, question mark.

375. - @ABugWithABigAss,

376. I've got a wagon for what you're draggin'.

377. - @ABugWithABigAss, what's wrong with having a big ass?

378. - The Landlord, what's wrong with having a big ass?

379. There's bugs in all my apartments,

380. and I'm sure their asses are all different sizes.

381. - Steven says, "Hey, adjustable side table.

382. I would love to drop a dozen al pastor on ya.

383. Let it sit all night, flavors meld."

384. - Steven.

385. What the hell?

386. - Is the snake coming on to the table?

387. - Okay, so Steven's kind of flirty.

388. - @Steven, oh man, I don't want to get into this,

389. but that's big table stuff.

390. - This feels very like going into chat rooms,

391. like early internet when I was a kid.

392. - We're not getting anywhere. Everyone's being insane.

393. - We're all just doing bits, but I need info.

394. - We'll never figure anything out.

395. - Computer, let's type,

396. "I could go for some tacos."

397. And send.

398. - Brennan, what's your favorite taco? Send.

399. - Al pastor, and then comma. You, question mark.

400. - Al pastor, you? That's kind of accurate.

401. Choco, C-H-O-C-O, and that dumb smiley face I did earlier,

402. and then send.

403. - Granma Sweetie's favorite taco flavor is choco!

404. Okay, let's play a little bit.

405. Let's do @GranmaSweetie, yum,

406. and then we're going to do a psychotic amount of emojis.

407. We'll do devil face, smiling obviously,

408. then the two different fists, and then droplets.

409. I'm sorry, Brennan! (laughing)

410. - Whoa, Brennan Lee Mulligan! @GranmaSweetie, yum!

411. Devil, fist jerking off? Oof!

412. - Ew. That's not Brennan now.

413. Unless he's trying to throw us off.

414. So disgusting. Brennan, how could you?

415. - So I'm think that that is not Brennan.

416. What is everyone's favorite movie?

417. - Oh, that's a good question.

418. What is everyone's favorite movie?

419. - Ooh, my favorite movie is "Philadelphia", period.

420. - "Forrest Gump".

421. - "The Da Vinci Code".

422. - Ooh, Tom Hanks, running away with it early.

423. Say Tom Hanks. Send.

424. - Is there a movie about a table?

425. - "Knights of the Round Table". It's inspirational.

426. - Maybe, what's everyone's favorite weekend activity,

427. question mark?

428. - My favorite weekend activity

429. is ignoring maintenance requests,

430. hashtag straight to the trash can.

431. - Straight to the trash can. Incredible!

432. - What's Granma's favorite weekend activity?

433. - Granma Sweetie says,

434. "Being at the ravine with a cold one."

435. Granma Sweetie is so funny!

436. - Weekends are for lazy people.

437. - Uh-oh, Jack Stryker is nasty. Anti-weekend.

438. - I go to East Los Angeles and do a quick taco crawl.

439. I hit all the spots.

440. I take high resolution photos and then post it to my blog.

441. - So Steven loves tacos.

442. - Eating crumbs, send.

443. - Bug with a big ass likes to eat crumbs on the weekend.

444. @ABugWithABigAss, holy crap, exclamation point.

445. I have a ton of crumbs right now.

446. - @AdjustableSideTableWalnut, all caps, "Give them to me,"

447. and then repeat that message three or four times in a row.

448. - The general chat is now closed. Oof.

449. I don't think that was helpful at all. (laughs)

450. - Just type, "Says who?" and then send.

451. - (laughs) Says who! Granma Sweetie!

452. Is that Jess Ross? I want to know who these people are!

453. - All in due time, bug with a big ass.

454. - Players, how much does a polar bear weigh?

455. Enough to break the climate change-thinned ice.

456. - Get ready for a series of ice breaker questions.

457. - We'll be awarding our favorite character

458. with an advantage before next round, my word!

459. - Awesome.

460. - Question one.

461. - What's your go-to karaoke song?

462. - "Sweet Caroline", but don't send yet.

463. I want to wait for someone else to respond,

464. because Jack Stryker answered first the last time,

465. and that's a very Katie Marovitch thing to do,

466. because I have a lot of anxiety.

467. - I'm going to say John Denver,

468. which is not a song, but this is Granma Sweetie.

469. Send.

470. - John Denver. Granma Sweetie!

471. - "Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies. Okay, okay.

472. That is a very good song choice and, I feel like,

473. indicative of some people we know.

474. - Steven is really all over the map.

475. That's a snake. It should like snake stuff.

476. This is the limitation of my character brain.

477. - Okay, respond, "Sweet Caroline". Send.

478. - "Sweet Caroline", my actual favorite.

479. Gets the people going.

480. The baseball song.

481. - A bug with a big ass says, "The baseball song."

482. - Fuck! Is that Rekha?

483. She makes me laugh.

484. I'm really positive that bug with a big ass is Rekha,

485. and is being very funny.

486. - This has to be Rekha. This is definitely Rekha.

487. I'm 100% sure of it.

488. - Is there a song about a table?

489. - The CB2 jingle?

490. What is that?

491. - So adjustable side table, walnut,

492. is playing their game super hard.

493. There's an amount of respect for being a side table

494. that makes me feel like there's someone

495. who is a little rule-follow-y.

496. - He sees right through you, Rekha.

497. - What would be a symbologist's favorite karaoke song?

498. "The Rose". - "The Rose" by Bette Midler?

499. Never heard it. - You know who talks

500. about Bette Midler all the time, is Ally Beardsley.

501. - That tells me that Jackson Alberta

502. is being played by a gay man.

503. - And I'm trying to isolate which one.

504. - What would The Landlord sing at karaoke?

505. I want money. He wants money.

506. - The landlord says, "The best things in life are free,

507. but you can give them to the birds and the bees.

508. I want money!"

509. What the fuck are you talking about?

510. You are very funny. (laughs)

511. - I have done karaoke with Brennan so many times.

512. Okay, this won't be Brennan,

513. and maybe this will make him mad.

514. - Easy, anything by Disney?

515. Ay yi yi.

516. - I don't think that's what Brennan would say.

517. - This is not Brennan Lee Mulligan.

518. I'm telling you right now.

519. - What's your biggest pet peeve?

520. - Moose, send.

521. - Moose!

522. Bigger bugs, narrow doorways.

523. Send.

524. - Holes in the walls.

525. Hashtag security deposit is mine.

526. Send.

527. - Asshole.

528. - My biggest pet peeve is when I don't get

529. over 100 likes on my Tacogram.

530. Steven, who are you?

531. - Steven feels like Ally Beardsley to me.

532. I don't know why.

533. - My biggest pet peeve is being trapped

534. in the Vatican catacombs with my beautiful assistant.

535. - Being trapped in the Vatican catacombs

536. with my beautiful assistant.

537. Beautiful assistant?

538. - Having a whole pizza box on my head, period.

539. It gets really hot and I begin to sweat.

540. - That is true.

541. - Okay, my biggest pet peeve is...

542. Assistants.

543. - Jack Stryker says assistants. Jesus.

544. Fucking lunatic. Anti-assistant?

545. - @JackStryker, I feel your pain. Ha ha, thumbs up emoji.

546. - Excellent. I like Jackson Alberta.

547. I feel like we're making a connection.

548. - Bugs whose anatomy

549. involves having a large backside

550. but insist on calling that, quote, "a big ass."

551. Send.

552. - Yeah, ha ha ha. That's how I talk.

553. Use those five dollar words. Whackity shmackity.

554. - Brennan would never say that's his pet peeve.

555. He would enjoy the joke of it.

556. It wouldn't be a shots fired situation.

557. - What are your three most used emojis?

558. - Thumbs up, thumbs up, thumbs up.

559. - (laughs) Three thumbs up.

560. Crocodile, money.

561. You know what, the money with the eyeballs is very nice too.

562. - It's a grandma doing it wrong, so colon smiley,

563. and then colon, space, sad.

564. - Granma is really cute.

565. - Granma Sweetie, I love you using emoticons

566. rather than emoji.

567. Good character beat.

568. - Steven. Snake, rock, wet.

569. Gross.

570. - Just, yeah, put that really crazy

571. jerk-off emoji sequence again, please.

572. - Fist, fist.

573. (sighs) It's like jerking off. Okay.

574. - Ugh.

575. - I hope Brennan hates this.

576. - Let's do the caterpillar, and then let's do peach,

577. and then let's also do a pizza.

578. - Let's say, "I would never use an emoji,

579. but if I have to choose, these three."

580. A check mark, the middle finger,

581. and let's do the eyes for watching you.

582. - That honestly, again, feels like Ally.

583. I've got Ally pegged for a couple of these.

584. I feel like Jack Stryker might be Ally.

585. - Huh, maybe they're all Ally.

586. - Can we do an X and then the chair?

587. Because you shouldn't be using chairs at side tables.

588. It's almost disrespectful, because it's like

589. you don't accept the table for what it is.

590. - Wow, that's a really sad story,

591. 'cause you don't put chairs at a side table.

592. Oh my god. That's like a fucking Hemingway.

593. That's very moving.

594. - Who could possibly be the table?

595. - If only you had a degree in symbology.

596. - Okay, if you could turn any activity

597. into an Olympic sport, what would you win a medal for?

598. In all caps.

599. Bird, period.

600. Facts, period.

601. - Good grief. Gonna haunt me till the day I'm fucking dead.

602. - Talking on two phones at once.

603. - Talking on two phones at once.

604. - Talking on two phones at once, send.

605. - Talking on two phones at once? Hey.

606. A bug with a big ass copied me.

607. Okay, taco eating contest.

608. Yeah, Steven, we understand you like tacos.

609. - I don't get Steven. I don't get Steven's deal.

610. Steven doesn't make sense to me.

611. - What else do landlords do?

612. Purchasing broken appliances. - (laughs) I hope that's Jess.

613. - What would you win a medal for?

614. Just say running without a G and send it.

615. - Runnin'? (laughs)

616. Wait, that's really fucking funny!

617. - I actually did win a medal for downhill skiing,

618. but if I could turn any activity into an Olympic sport,

619. it would be cracking codes in Da Vinci's paintings.

620. - Jackson Alberta makes me think of Tao.

621. - I could also see Jackson being Trapp, as well.

622. - Last question.

623. - What is the title of the current chapter of your life?

624. Ooh, that's a good question.

625. - It's All Gravy, enter.

626. I'm worried that me saying it's all gravy is a clue to me,

627. 'cause I feel like I talk about biscuits and gravy.

628. Even though I'm Granma Sweetie, I have to eliminate

629. biscuits and gravy from my conversations just because

630. I'm scared that that is a joke I've made as Zac.

631. - Banana papaya. Send.

632. I also think minions are hilarious,

633. but not as much as all the other CollegeHumor writers.

634. - (laughs) Banana papaya!

635. - You just can't beat the hits.

636. - Okay, so the chapter of my life is

637. Getting Ahead, One Deal at a Time.

638. - Put Two, the number two, Broke Girls.

639. - Chapter 31, A Body in Tuscany.

640. - Wow, Jackson Alberta. Dark.

641. - Suzanne, I Just Need a Little More Time.

642. - Oh, sad.

643. - Steven, it's called Freaking Finale by Steven the Snake

644. and the chapter has three words in it.

645. End me now.

646. Wow!

647. - End me now!

648. - Steven's coming in a little hot.

649. - A New Leaf.

650. - A New Leaf is a really good joke, adjustable side table.

651. Wow, that's a good joke.

652. - Great job, players. And that's a minigame.

653. - Now the real game begins. - What?

654. - Please chat me, and me alone,

655. which cast member you think is behind what character.

656. - You'll earn one point for any correct cast member,

657. so knowing who's here in general,

658. and then who each person actually is, okay.

659. - Okay, so like I've said, I think the bug is Rekha.

660. - A bug with a big ass is Rekha.

661. - Bug with a big ass,

662. I want to say Lily.

663. - Let's see. Steven was coming in hot.

664. Who comes in the hottest of the Dropouts?

665. I do.

666. But who else?

667. Maybe Katie is Steven.

668. - The Landlord, I'm going to put Raph down.

669. - The Landlord is Raphael.

670. - The Landlord, I'm going to guess Raph Chestang.

671. - I wonder if anyone's going to guess me.

672. - I think The Landlord is Jess Ross.

673. I think Brennan could be Carolyn.

674. - Maybe Brennan is Ally.

675. - Jack Stryker, I'm going to guess Grant O'Brien.

676. - Jack is Ally.

677. - Zac is Jack Stryker.

678. - Jack Stryker, I'm going to say, is Jess Ross.

679. - Jack Stryker, Grant.

680. - Jack Stryker,

681. I think it's either Vic Michaelis or Katie Marovitch.

682. I'll choose Katie Marovitch.

683. - There's a lot of weird, outdated medieval references

684. coming from Jackson Alberta,

685. so I do think that that's Grant.

686. That's like Grant's sensibility.

687. - Who is the side table?

688. - Adjustable side table, walnut, I'm going to guess Tao.

689. - So these are my guesses.

690. Send.

691. - Perfect, send. - Send.

692. - This is a little anxiety-inducing.

693. - So scary. I'm going to get, like, two.

694. - I feel good about this list.

695. This is a good starting point.

696. Uh-oh, Sam's typing. Sam's fucking typing.

697. - Number of cast members correct, five.

698. - Okay, number of cast members correct, four.

699. Oh, I only have four of these people correct!

700. Number of cast members as characters, one.

701. Oh, I did get someone. Okay, it's Rekha.

702. So Rekha is correct, but there are three other people

703. on this list that are for sure playing.

704. Okay, so Rekha,

705. a bug.

706. - Number of cast members correct, five.

707. Number of cast members as characters correct is zero,

708. for a total of five points.

709. That's a lot of correct cast members, though.

710. - Number of cast members correct, three.

711. Number of characters correct...

712. Oh my god, wait, all right. (sighs)

713. (computer chimes) - Alert!

714. - I will now reveal the winners

715. in order of most to least points, by number alone.

716. Not by character name, and not by cast member name.

717. - Who's going to be out first?

718. I hope it's not me. It's probably going to be me.

719. - First place, nine points? - Nine points?

720. - That sucks. - Hoo-ie!

721. - That is fucked. - (gasps) I'm in first place?

722. Okay, wait, maybe rankings are good. (laughs)

723. - I got eight points.

724. I'm second place! (cheers)

725. You still got it, Katie.

726. - Oh, I'm third place. Okay.

727. - Fourth place, five points. Okay, interesting.

728. - I'll probably be in last place,

729. 'cause how many of us are there?

730. Okay, tied for fifth.

731. - Tied for fifth place, three points. Cool.

732. Last place and out of our game, one point. Wow!

733. - I'm already out?

734. - Zac Oyama? - Zac Oyama's out of the game!

735. - Zac! - Shit!

736. - Goddammit!

737. - Wow.

738. - Aw. - Let Zac back in the game!

739. - But I'm still playing.

740. Okay, there are two prizes today.

741. One for the winner of the game,

742. and the other for our favorite character.

743. - Winner two will win a billboard on Fountain Ave,

744. because the fastest way to Hollywood is Fountain.

745. - Everyone talks about

746. the famous Hollywood street, Fountain.

747. - I was hit on my bike two times on Fountain Ave,

748. so if I win this billboard,

749. I'm going to have some kind of sign

750. that protects the bikers.

751. - Before we move forward with our game, players,

752. we have to reward our favorite player from the last round.

753. - Our favorite character from last round was...

754. Did I answer this question?

755. - Who votes for the favorite?

756. - I think The Landlord's going to take it.

757. - Our favorite character from last round was...

758. - Jack Stryker?

759. - You have earned the confirmation of a guess. (gasps)

760. Holy shit!

761. - That's huge.

762. - Now Sam's sliding into Jack's DMs.

763. - Okay. (gasps) Jack, I have news.

764. Okay.

765. Brennan Lee Mulligan is, in fact, Ally Beardsley.

766. Yes! Okay, all right, that's confirmed.

767. Thank you very much.

768. I don't know if you can hear this, Sam,

769. but thank you very much.

770. I love you.

771. - I love you too, Jack.

772. Hey, I'm looking for new representation.

773. - This is really fun!

774. I get to sit in a nice cool room and play with my friends,

775. and it's not impossible for me to win,

776. and no one's gonna come out and do something about birds.

777. I mean, I guess someone has chosen to mock me all day.

778. - Players, get ready for a slumber party!

779. - Please check outside your curtains

780. for a sleepover starter pack, okay.

781. - Well, that's really fun.

782. - Well, it's very nicely wrapped.

783. - This is so cute! (gasps)

784. - And is there an advantage under the packing material? No.

785. - A headband, which I'm going to put on.

786. - General chat is now open.

787. - Private chats are also open.

788. You can create a private chat with any name

789. and invite anyone you like.

790. Okay, open up a private message with Granma Sweetie.

791. - I got a message from Brennan Lee Mulligan.

792. - This is McAffe, M-C-A-F-F-E,

793. Security Online Services.

794. We have noticed a breach in your wireless.

795. - How would you like to proceed? Money sign.

796. Oh no, is there anything I can do?

797. Do you have money?

798. - Granma writes, "Of course.

799. I have $50,000, and more in the ground." (laughing)

800. - My social security number is...

801. - (laughs) Social security number! (laughing)

802. - I would like to message Granma.

803. - Adjustable side table has sent me a message.

804. I'm the belle of the ball.

805. - Hello, hyphen.

806. I saw you worked in the automotive industry.

807. How was that, question mark.

808. - Made some of the best friends I'll ever have.

809. Only half of them died in the factory.

810. - I'm so sorry.

811. Many of my friends have died at dance parties.

812. - Let's open up a chat with The Landlord and write,

813. "How long have you been a landlord?"

814. - How long have you been a landlord? Landlords are evil.

815. That's so interesting! All caps, all caps.

816. Where do you live right now? And who owns it?

817. You wanna step in the ring with The Landlord?

818. You're gonna find your lights and your water are shut off!

819. And then send. (giggles)

820. - This person is so aggro.

821. I was thinking maybe it was Jacob.

822. - I know what I'm going to do.

823. I'm going to ask Brennan,

824. what was the name of the improv team

825. we were on together in New York?

826. Send.

827. - Write back, "Big mistake, Jackson."

828. Send. What a fool.

829. - Oh, so what I've just done,

830. and I realize now the flaw in my strategy, is,

831. Brennan doesn't know that I'm someone

832. he knows from New York, but now he does.

833. So my brilliant idea probably didn't pay off very well.

834. - This guy teaches at Yale?

835. - Say back to Brennan, "Hmm."

836. - This is a gamble.

837. Let's write back, "Tao."

838. - Tao. - Oh, they're typing!

839. Hmm! Okay, okay.

840. I think it's Tao.

841. That also could be Grant.

842. Okay, write...

843. - JK, this is Grant. Hmm, H-M-M.

844. That was pretty dumb.

845. - Hey, Jack, would you be interested

846. in an in-person performance?

847. I could come to your home

848. and do a half an hour for your family tonight.

849. I have family-themed humor, too.

850. I would say if your children are afraid of snakes,

851. it's going to be a big problem.

852. So who is very silly?

853. Let's say, "Hard pass. Also, I don't have children.

854. I only represent them."

855. - Respond to @JackStryker,

856. "A hard pass is me walking in between two matchsticks.

857. This caboose is too loose."

858. - Oh, I think bug might be Grant. That's my guess.

859. Okay, fair enough, prick.

860. You're finished in this town, comma, dipshit. And send.

861. Good. Fuck you, Steven. Fuck you.

862. - Chat is now closed. - Chat's over.

863. - Goddamn, okay.

864. - Players, it's time for a classic sleepover game.

865. - Two truths and a lie.

866. - Now, this is always what I used

867. to jack off with my friends when I was in the closet,

868. so let's see if that same thing happens now.

869. - But our version has a very simple twist.

870. The lie must be something true about you,

871. not your character.

872. Better pick something your fellow players

873. are likely not to know.

874. Something true about me, Jessica,

875. the woman who inspired this room.

876. We'll be awarding our favorite character an advantage

877. before next round.

878. Good luck!

879. - Okay, Landlord, it's your turn first.

880. - Oh my god, okay.

881. So, let me think of something about me.

882. - So The Landlord says, "Someone broke up with me

883. on April Fools', and I thought it was an April Fools' prank.

884. It was not."

885. - That was true. That happened to me in high school.

886. You know who you are,

887. and you know where you messed up, buddy.

888. I have 10K worth of credit card debt.

889. Tattoo of a snake on upper thigh. Sick.

890. - The phrasing of that almost feels like,

891. I feel like it's the April Fools' thing.

892. Let's see what Brennan has to say.

893. - Okay, let's start with, I live in a house with my partner.

894. - True.

895. - For all of its shortfalls,

896. I don't hate the keto diet.

897. - For all of its shortfalls, I don't hate the keto diet.

898. True. - And third...

899. - I once thought a bird shit on me,

900. but it was just an egg.

901. The bird laid an egg on you?

902. - Yeah, this is not Brennan.

903. Okay, two truths and a lie.

904. I want to try to think of one that's, like,

905. actually weird and true about myself.

906. - Granma Sweetie says,

907. "I saw the Goo Goo Dolls at the airport."

908. - My social security number is 625-33-88889.

909. - 625-33-88889! Too many numbers, Granma Sweetie!

910. - I'm allergic to trespassers.

911. - I'm allergic to trespassers! (laughing)

912. - All right, Jackson Alberta, PhD. What've we got?

913. - My two truths.

914. I lived in Europe for several years.

915. I have very little savings. I'm a published author.

916. The truth is that I have very little savings.

917. - Very little savings could be any of us.

918. - All of us have very little savings.

919. Jesus, that told me nothing.

920. Steven the snake.

921. - I like cheeseburgers.

922. I will cancel most things to see a beautiful sunset.

923. I like hot dogs.

924. - This is, like, so hard to process.

925. - A bug with a big ass.

926. - I want to say, "I'm a bug with a big ass,"

927. three times in a row.

928. I'm repped by Gersh.

929. I'm a funny landlord.

930. I'm not repped by Gersh.

931. - So, one of those is true. That's no info at all.

932. - Here's my problem.

933. I don't think people are playing this game correctly.

934. - Use some of this mint lip balm.

935. Is this something people did at sleepovers?

936. Did they put a bunch of lip balm on?

937. I did, but for the blowjobs. What are we looking at?

938. - Adjustable side table, walnut.

939. - I have had a spider crawl inside me.

940. I have poor balance.

941. A bird flew on my head once.

942. - Flew on my head once? Landed?

943. A bird flew to your head and landed on it?

944. - It better be a bunch of people that I know and not like,

945. oh, one of them is a celebrity.

946. If adjustable side table, it turns out, is Lena Dunham,

947. I'm going to be upset.

948. - Jack Stryker.

949. - I closed my first deal at 19.

950. - I drove Cassandra Piven off the PCH in 1998. Jesus Christ.

951. - Ah, Cassandra Piven.

952. - Cassandra Piven off the PCH in 1998?

953. That's like something Grant would say.

954. - I was in a band.

955. I play the clarinet, and I also play the guitar,

956. but it was the school band at my school in middle school.

957. They don't need to know that.

958. I'm just going to say I was in a band.

959. Yes!

960. - Oh my god. - Players, it's time to guess.

961. - Oh my god, we have to guess again.

962. - No!

963. - Sam, I'm not ready. Okay.

964. - Here we go.

965. - I don't want to change too much.

966. So we have Rekha, a bug. That's who I think I got right.

967. - Maybe I will take Brennan at face value

968. and just say that that is Brennan.

969. - Jack Stryker, I'm going to guess Ally.

970. That Cassandra Piven thing is so fucking specific

971. that it makes me want to go to Ally,

972. 'cause I think Ally's great with specifics.

973. - Jackson Alberta, I'm going to say Raph,

974. because Raph is an enigma to me,

975. and so is Jackson Alberta right now.

976. - Granma Sweetie is Rekha.

977. - And The Landlord is...

978. I have no idea.

979. Ify? Let's give that a shot.

980. - Steven is so out of control,

981. and I feel like Vic does that really, really well,

982. so I think it's maybe them.

983. - So okay, yeah. - Let's send.

984. - I'm so nervous.

985. - Am I about to be ejected from the game?

986. - So scary!

987. - Okay, oh my god, Sam's typing. (gasps)

988. Five points!

989. Okay!

990. So, still clueless when it comes to saying who was with who,

991. but as far as who might be in this building,

992. I'm a little closer than I was before.

993. - Eight points again, okay.

994. Okay, I think I'm doing okay. I really do.

995. - No!

996. - Ugh, so previously I got two full characters

997. and three extra cast, interesting.

998. - If I get out right now, because I have to stay here

999. and stay in character, it means I can't go home.

1000. This is not my day.

1001. - I'll now reveal the most to least accurate guesser

1002. by cast member name!

1003. - That's huge.

1004. This is a huge moment for everyone but me.

1005. - That's right, you're about to find out

1006. who's playing, but not who their characters are.

1007. - Everything is about to change for anyone besides myself.

1008. - First place... - (gasps) Katie Marovitch!

1009. - Katie? - Katie!

1010. - I'm very happy for you, that you're in first.

1011. - I always said, this is the year that I get a billboard.

1012. I've been saying that for so long.

1013. This is the year I get a billboard.

1014. - Second place, me.

1015. - Rekha is playing, great.

1016. - I knew it was going to be Rekha,

1017. and I think Grant is a part of this, too.

1018. - Tied for third, Brennan and Jess.

1019. - (gasps) Oh my god!

1020. - Okay, so Tao's not playing. Fuck!

1021. - So Brennan is here.

1022. - Okay, so I got some right, and I'm not in last last place.

1023. - I will not reveal second-to-last and last place guessers.

1024. - Come on.

1025. - Second-to-last, Ally Beardsley. All right.

1026. - Ally Beardsley. - Yes! I'm still alive, baby!

1027. - Yeah, stretch it out, Sam.

1028. - Grant O'Brien!

1029. - Grant! Oh! - Dang it. Come on, Grant.

1030. - Grant's here? I thought he had Covid.

1031. - Grant O'Brien is out of the game,

1032. but Grant O'Brien is still playing.

1033. Let's see how hard he tries.

1034. - Aw, I love everybody.

1035. - How many characters are there? Hold on.

1036. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

1037. There's someone missing.

1038. - Players, you may have noticed

1039. that there are seven of you, and eight characters.

1040. - That's because one of you is not a cast member.

1041. - You son of a bitch. That's what I fucking thought.

1042. Is it a celebrity? One of us is a celebrity?

1043. - One you is Lena Dunham. I know, I cracked it already.

1044. - One of you is the ratfish! - The ratfish?

1045. - Ratfish? - The ratfish.

1046. - What is a ratfish? - The fuck is the ratfish?

1047. We are not animals!

1048. - So, which "Drag Race" royalty is ratfishing us right now?

1049. - Who the hell is the ratfish?

1050. - I'm the ratfish! (cackling)