1. Go get it, boy!Copy !req
2. So, Leela, how about a romantic ride
in one of those swan boats?Copy !req
3. They're kinda dangerous,
but I finally mastered them.Copy !req
4. Those aren't swan boats. They're swans.Copy !req
5. Oh, that explains these boat eggs.Copy !req
6. Whoa!Copy !req
7. Mmm! Hmm...Copy !req
8. Aah!Copy !req
9. Pitiful ballplayers of Earth.Copy !req
10. I am Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate,Copy !req
11. Commander of the Harlem Globetrotters.Copy !req
12. For generations, your puny planetCopy !req
13. has lived in peace
with the Globetrotter home world.Copy !req
14. But now, for no reason,Copy !req
15. we challenge you to defend your honor
on the basketball court.Copy !req
16. Will no one meet our challenge?Copy !req
17. Have none of you pathetic Earthlings game?Copy !req
18. - What happens if we lose?
- Nothing!Copy !req
19. There is nothing at stake and no threat,Copy !req
20. beyond the shame of defeat.Copy !req
21. - This will not stand!Copy !req
22. I'll take you on, you air-balling bozos!Copy !req
23. You, old man?Copy !req
24. Sweet Clyde, laugh derisively at him.Copy !req
25. I may be an old man,Copy !req
26. in fact, I'm fairly sure I am,Copy !req
27. but I'll put you Globetrotters
in your placeCopy !req
28. with my team of mutant atomic supermen!Copy !req
29. Irie, Professor!Copy !req
30. Behold, my mutant atomic supermen!Copy !req
31. They're only a foot high, Professor.Copy !req
32. Well, they're still young,
mere atomic superboys, really.Copy !req
33. We'll need to speed up their growthCopy !req
34. with time particles called chronitons.Copy !req
35. Aren't those the particles
that destroyed an entire...Copy !req
36. Good news, everyone!Copy !req
37. You're off to the Tempus Nebula
to gather chronitons.Copy !req
38. Hey, Leela, look at me!Copy !req
39. Your face can take a lot of punishment.
That's good to know.Copy !req
40. There's a lot about my face
you don't know.Copy !req
41. Perhaps you and it
could get better acquainted over dinner.Copy !req
42. All right. Cool your jets, hotshot.Copy !req
43. Come on, Leela.
Why won't you go out with me?Copy !req
44. We both know there's something there.Copy !req
45. No. I mean cool your jets.
They're melting Bender's face.Copy !req
46. Ow! Oh, my God! Ow!Copy !req
47. Here you go. Hot off the nebula.Copy !req
48. None too soon. While you were gone,Copy !req
49. the Trotters held a news conference
to announce that I was a jive sucker.Copy !req
50. Whoa!Copy !req
51. Behold! My invincible nuclear mutants!Copy !req
52. - Hi.
- Hello.Copy !req
53. Marv Albert here
at Madison Cube GardenCopy !req
54. where the Harlem Globetrotters
take on a squad of atomic supermenCopy !req
55. in what promises
to be a by-the-numbers athletic contestCopy !req
56. with no surprises whatsoever.Copy !req
57. There's the tip-off. Globetrotter ball!Copy !req
58. Sweet Clyde Dixon to Bubblegum Tate.
Drives down court.Copy !req
59. - And Curly Joe from the rear!Copy !req
60. That one grabbed his behindus.Copy !req
61. Who dares laugh at the jesters of dunk?Copy !req
62. We came to terrify and humiliate you,Copy !req
63. not tickle your funny bones.Copy !req
64. Watch as I embarrass your civilizationCopy !req
65. by passing the ball to Curly Joe,Copy !req
66. only to have it
remain in my hands with elastic!Copy !req
67. And perhaps this will wipe
the smiles from your faces.Copy !req
68. Goose goes up! Rejected!Copy !req
69. Growtreant from half court.Copy !req
70. - Yes!Copy !req
71. Supermen lead, 45-42.Copy !req
72. Arachneon with the steal, to Thorias.Copy !req
73. Thorias from downtown.Copy !req
74. Yes! He's really showing usCopy !req
75. what a man with a cannon
in his chest can do.Copy !req
76. No showboating, you atomic hot dog!Copy !req
77. And that's the half,
with the Supermen up 48-42.Copy !req
78. Surprisingly dull so far.Copy !req
79. Bubblegum, the Trotters
are down by six. Reactions?Copy !req
80. It was always our plan
to trail at the half,Copy !req
81. thus deepening
Earth's eventual humiliation.Copy !req
82. Also, what game were the refs watching?Copy !req
83. Curly Joe,
easily amusedby his own antics,Copy !req
84. continues to wreak havoc.Copy !req
85. - What the...
- Hey, man.Copy !req
86. What was that?Copy !req
87. Did everything just jump around?Copy !req
88. Or did my brain just stroke off there
for a second?Copy !req
89. Ladies and gentlemen,
something very strange has just happenedCopy !req
90. in this basketball game
between space clowns and atomic monsters.Copy !req
91. Hmm?Copy !req
92. - Time out! Time out!Copy !req
93. What's happening?Copy !req
94. We seem to be lurching forward
randomly in time,Copy !req
95. like a needle skipping on a record player.Copy !req
96. What's causing it? Is it my outfit?Copy !req
97. No. It must have something to doCopy !req
98. with those time particles
I used to grow the supermen.Copy !req
99. Time and space
are ripping apart at the seams.Copy !req
100. - Oops.
- Oh, great.Copy !req
101. Now, on top of everything,
we need a new fifth man.Copy !req
102. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Put me in, Professor!Copy !req
103. I wanna show Leela my skills.Copy !req
104. Hmm. Will said skills pay the bills?Copy !req
105. Who cares? We're 35 points ahead
with two minutes left.Copy !req
106. What could possibly...Copy !req
107. Globetrotters win 244-86.Copy !req
108. A dark day for humanity, folks.Copy !req
109. We have been beatenCopy !req
110. in basketball.Copy !req
111. - Yeah, that's how we do it!Copy !req
112. You are all fools of the highest caliber.Copy !req
113. I don't know what you did, Fry,
but once again, you screwed up.Copy !req
114. Now all the planets are gonna
start crackin' wise about our mamas.Copy !req
115. I'm just glad my fat ugly mama
isn't alive to see this day.Copy !req
116. Enough about your
promiscuous mother, Hermes.Copy !req
117. We have bigger problems.Copy !req
118. This time disruption is extremely serious.Copy !req
119. Damn right, brother man.Copy !req
120. This chronological wang-dang-doodle
could destroy the very matrix of reality.Copy !req
121. - Tate, what do you know about this?
- Not much yet,Copy !req
122. but I am senior lecturer in physics
at Globetrotter UCopy !req
123. and I'd like to help you investigate.Copy !req
124. You're that Bubblegum Tate?Copy !req
125. Well, I sure ain't his grandma.
Now, look here, Prof.Copy !req
126. I think we got ourselvesCopy !req
127. an excess of chronitons
in the subatomic interstices.Copy !req
128. Yes. I see.Copy !req
129. Something involving that many big words
could easily destabilize time itself.Copy !req
130. - Is that a problem?
- Indeed so.Copy !req
131. At this rate, by Tuesday
it will be Thursday.Copy !req
132. By Wednesday, it will be August.Copy !req
133. And by Thursday, it will be
the end of existence as we know it.Copy !req
134. I'll have to ask you to clear out now.Copy !req
135. The circus needs to
set up for tomorrow's big...Copy !req
136. Time continues to skip forward randomly.
Details at 11:00.Copy !req
137. This is the news at 11:00.
The mysterious and unexplained...Copy !req
138. Turning to entertainment news, teen singer
Wendy might just be the latest...Copy !req
139. won three Grammys last night.Copy !req
140. Found dead in her bathtub.Copy !req
141. Interesting. It's as if we all behave
normally during the time skips,Copy !req
142. but then we have no memory of it.Copy !req
143. - You mean we just...
- My, yes!Copy !req
144. Ooh, just like that. Any luck, Bubblegum?Copy !req
145. Not yet. Listen.Copy !req
146. Don't mind
if I dribble a little while I work.Copy !req
147. Not if you'll grant me
the same liberty.Copy !req
148. Ooh, ooh! Bubblegum, my name's Bender,Copy !req
149. and I'm a huge fan of your work,
both on and off the court.Copy !req
150. - Can I be a Globetrotter?
- Shut up, turkey.Copy !req
151. Ooh.Copy !req
152. - Bubblegum, look at this.Copy !req
153. The background time radiation
is fluctuating wildly!Copy !req
154. Good Lord! That sucker's shakin' round
like some fine imported booty!Copy !req
155. Say, I'm no physicist,Copy !req
156. but I think I know
how to stop the skipping. We'll just...Copy !req
157. I don't know how
this was supposed to work.Copy !req
158. Professor, I hope you find out what's
wrong before we skip right past my...Copy !req
159. Happy birthday, Amy!Copy !req
160. Hooray! Look at all these presents!Copy !req
161. I hope we all have as much fun
tomorrow at my birth...Copy !req
162. What?Copy !req
163. Oh...Copy !req
164. Psst! Leela! I've set up
a time-proof shelter in the closet.Copy !req
165. There's only room for two,
and I want to share it with you.Copy !req
166. Fry, that's so sweet. Lemme see.Copy !req
167. How exactly
will this protect us from time jumps?Copy !req
168. 'Cause when we're together in here,
baby, time will stand still.Copy !req
169. Ow!Copy !req
170. Hmm.Copy !req
171. Hmm.Copy !req
172. Dr. Zoidberg, can I talk to you about Fry?Copy !req
173. Leela, I would be honored.Copy !req
174. - ... does the worstCopy !req
175. W.C. Fields imitation I've ever seen.Copy !req
176. - Zoidberg!
- Sorry.Copy !req
177. - You must've been boring me.Copy !req
178. The thing is, Fry is very sweet,
but he's so immature.Copy !req
179. I love his boyish charm,
but I hate his childishness.Copy !req
180. So he's not perfect.Copy !req
181. You don't wanna end up
old and lonely like Zoidberg.Copy !req
182. You were saying?Copy !req
183. Ah, there it is. The Tempus Nebula.Copy !req
184. Take a whiff through the Smell-A-Scope.Copy !req
185. Ooh, what's that funky jazz?Copy !req
186. The odor of pure time leaking.Copy !req
187. When my crew removed the chronitons,Copy !req
188. it destabilized the nebula,Copy !req
189. causing time skips
throughout the universe.Copy !req
190. Ooh, let Bubblegum tell it!Copy !req
191. Pretend these basketballs
are time particles, my silver honky.Copy !req
192. As the nebula bounce-passes them off us...Copy !req
193. Ow! Ooh! Aah!Copy !req
194. they cause these dents,
or "time skips."Copy !req
195. You are so smart.Copy !req
196. Hold up. What if we were
to move this cluster of starsCopy !req
197. to these algebraic coordinates?Copy !req
198. Their gravity might just
divert the chronitonsCopy !req
199. to the empty side of the universe.Copy !req
200. Yeah. But it's impossible.Copy !req
201. Moving stars would require
one bad-ass gravity pump.Copy !req
202. And we'd need all the money
on Earth to build...Copy !req
203. - What the...
- Whoa! What?Copy !req
204. There's the funding for your gravity pump.Copy !req
205. But it damn well better work.Copy !req
206. We can't spend all
of Earth's money every day.Copy !req
207. Now, how long will it take to build?Copy !req
208. It won't be easy, Nixon. A jim-jam
this complex might take months or even...Copy !req
209. Ah, there we are.Copy !req
210. One gravity pump powerful enough
to move the stars themselves.Copy !req
211. Now to begin the arduous task
of attaching it to the ship so...Copy !req
212. Off you go, apparently.Copy !req
213. Easy, Leela. Just finger-roll
that star into the cosmic basket.Copy !req
214. Just a few moreCopy !req
215. hundred thousand miles.Copy !req
216. There.Copy !req
217. Nothin' but nebula.Copy !req
218. We'll have to run some tests
back on Earth,Copy !req
219. but I think we've stopped the time skips.Copy !req
220. All right!
- Jammin'!Copy !req
221. Hooray for Leela!Copy !req
222. And what better way
to celebrate our successCopy !req
223. than by me showing Bubblegum
the Globetrotter uniform I made myself.Copy !req
224. Lemme see.Copy !req
225. Hello, lawsuit.Copy !req
226. Leela, I want you to knowCopy !req
227. I think the way you moved
those stars around was really wonderful.Copy !req
228. I got you something.Copy !req
229. Moderately priced
domestic non-vintage champagne!Copy !req
230. How did you know?Copy !req
231. You deserve it. I mean, nobody ever stops
to tell you what a great captain you are.Copy !req
232. Aw, that is so true and sweet.Copy !req
233. You're smart, you're beautiful,Copy !req
234. and best of all, you'll go out with me?Copy !req
235. Fry, please try to understand.Copy !req
236. You're a man. I'm a woman.
We're just too different.Copy !req
237. Hey, Leela! Bubblegum might let meCopy !req
238. organize a bake sale
for the Globetrotter wives.Copy !req
239. Can you teach me to make cupcakes?Copy !req
240. - All right, but I wanna lick the beaters.Copy !req
241. I got her champagne. I opened it.Copy !req
242. What does a guy have to do?Copy !req
243. Eighty-six the chump stuff, F-man.Copy !req
244. It's time to win Leela's heart with a big,
showy, three-point romantic gesture.Copy !req
245. Hmm. Maybe this is the moment
to show her my real surprise.Copy !req
246. Fry, what are you doing?Copy !req
247. Uh-oh. Time to boogie on
down to the sauna.Copy !req
248. Look. I've been studying
how to pilot the ship.Copy !req
249. - Impressed?
- Yeah, actually.Copy !req
250. You're doing okay.
The core-reactor temperature's nominal.Copy !req
251. The blinker's off.Copy !req
252. I learned how to work the gravity pumpCopy !req
253. in case we need to move more stars.Copy !req
254. So, are we dating now?Copy !req
255. Is that what this is all about?
Please, just cut it out now.Copy !req
256. Look, Leela. I know there's some perfect,Copy !req
257. amazing thing I can do
to make you love me.Copy !req
258. - And when I figure out what it is...
- Fry, stop.Copy !req
259. I don't wanna hurt you,
but there is absolutely, positively no wayCopy !req
260. that you and I will ever, ever...Copy !req
261. man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.Copy !req
262. Mmm...Copy !req
263. Yes!Copy !req
264. DR. He looks radiant.Copy !req
265. Ye gods, Bubblegum! We failed.Copy !req
266. The time skips haven't stopped at all.Copy !req
267. Even in these formal shorts,
I feel like a failure.Copy !req
268. You tricked me
into marrying you, didn't you?Copy !req
269. Of course not!Copy !req
270. How'd you do it?
Drugs in the champagne? Hypnosis?Copy !req
271. No! Drugs are for losers!Copy !req
272. And hypnosis is for losers
with big weird eyebrows.Copy !req
273. I don't know what amazing thing
I did to make you love me,Copy !req
274. but whatever it was, we're married now.Copy !req
275. We've got the rest
of our lives to work this...Copy !req
276. - ... divorce is final.
- What?Copy !req
277. Well, let's divide up the china.Copy !req
278. I guess I'll take the NFC helmets
and you can have the AFC helmets.Copy !req
279. Fine. Break my heart again.Copy !req
280. Don't be so hard on yourself, Fry.Copy !req
281. You lost the woman of your dreams,Copy !req
282. but you still have Zoidberg.Copy !req
283. You all still have Zoidberg!Copy !req
284. How did I do it?
How did I get Leela to love me?Copy !req
285. I've got to figure it out.Copy !req
286. Maybe you're just a fantastic lover, Fry.Copy !req
287. - Um, no.
- I don't know what I'm doing.Copy !req
288. Maybe she'd come back to you if your
best friend, Bender, were a Globetrotter.Copy !req
289. - What do you say, Bubblegum?
- Hell no.Copy !req
290. Oh...Copy !req
291. Oh, it's hopeless.Copy !req
292. I did something so great
that it won Leela's heart,Copy !req
293. and I'll never ever know what it was.Copy !req
294. My life is empty.Copy !req
295. Zoidberg...Copy !req
296. No wonder we failed
to stop the time skips.Copy !req
297. Diverting chronitons
is mathematically impossible.Copy !req
298. I knew I should've checked
your showboating Globetrotter algebra.Copy !req
299. Man, I thought you knew
that algebra was all razzmatazz!Copy !req
300. A Globetrotter always saves
the good algebra for the final minutes.Copy !req
301. Vintage Bubblegum!Copy !req
302. The time skips are worse than ever now.Copy !req
303. Isolated spots are jumping
by years at a time. Look!Copy !req
304. Stupid senior citizens.Copy !req
305. Why should we have to pay
for their Social Security benefits?Copy !req
306. I deserve free money!Copy !req
307. Well, I'm stumped.Copy !req
308. We'll have to call in the finest
scientific minds in the universe...Copy !req
309. Perhaps we could explode
the whole damned nebula.Copy !req
310. - What do you think, Curly Joe?
- No, man.Copy !req
311. An explosion big enough to destroy that
mama would take out half the universe.Copy !req
312. You gotta Globetrotter
that explosion up a little, Farnsie.Copy !req
313. Make it an implosion.Copy !req
314. By God, Sweet Clyde is right!Copy !req
315. An implosion might just form a black holeCopy !req
316. that would stop
more chronitons from escaping.Copy !req
317. Whoa! Slow that brain train down, Prof!Copy !req
318. We'd need some kind of doomsday device
to initiate an implosion like that.Copy !req
319. Doomsday device?Copy !req
320. - Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court!Copy !req
321. I suppose I could part with one
and still be feared.Copy !req
322. Gimme some skin, Prof.Copy !req
323. I'm making you an honorary Globetrotter.Copy !req
324. In fact, everybody in this room's
an honorary Globetrotter.Copy !req
325. - Yay!
- DR.I'm a Globetrotter!Copy !req
326. Did you just say...Copy !req
327. - Too late, hot plate.
- Aw, crap!Copy !req
328. We must leave now,
for we are needed elsewhere.Copy !req
329. But we wish you Godspeed.Copy !req
330. Please! Please let me come with you.Copy !req
331. I can make myself taller.Copy !req
332. Bender, you can talk trash.
You can handle the ball.Copy !req
333. But look in your heart and ask yourself,Copy !req
334. are you funky enough to be a Globetrotter?Copy !req
335. - Are you?
- Yes.Copy !req
336. - Are you?
- I mean, with time, my funk level could...Copy !req
337. - Are you?
No.Copy !req
338. Deal with it.Copy !req
339. - Oh! No!Copy !req
340. Careful with that doomsday device, Bender.Copy !req
341. What does it matter?
I'll never be a Globetrotter.Copy !req
342. My life, and by extension
everyone else's, is meaningless.Copy !req
343. Roger.Copy !req
344. Leela, about the wedding...Copy !req
345. I don't know what I did
to make you love me,Copy !req
346. and I don't think
I tricked you into it, but maybe I did.Copy !req
347. And if I did, I'm sorry.Copy !req
348. It's okay, Fry. You know
we'll always be friends, right?Copy !req
349. Yeah, but I don't guess
anything I could doCopy !req
350. will ever make you feel
the same way about me that I do about you.Copy !req
351. I guess not.Copy !req
352. Well, the doomsday device is ready.Copy !req
353. Maybe blasting this quadrant of spaceCopy !req
354. into a hellstorm of flaming nothingness
will cheer me up a little.Copy !req
355. Okay. Let me just
take the ship out to a safe distance.Copy !req
356. Actually, I think I'll go down
and prep the detonator.Copy !req
357. Fry, why don't you take the helm?Copy !req
358. She's so great.
I feel like I can almost rememberCopy !req
359. the magical thing I did
to make her love me.Copy !req
360. But I guess I never will.Copy !req
361. Sorry, buddy. I, too, know what it's like
to have a dream I'll never achieve.Copy !req
362. Oh...Copy !req
363. That's how I must've done it!Copy !req
364. I moved the stars themselves
to write her a love note in the sky!Copy !req
365. Detonation in three, two, one.Copy !req
366. No!Copy !req
367. Did you see it? Did you see it?Copy !req
368. The explosion?
- No, not the explosion!Copy !req
369. Then what?Copy !req
370. Nothing.Copy !req