1. What is the fu—
What is the fu—Copy !req
2. News! Bad!Copy !req
3. We're bankrupt.Copy !req
4. Oh, I borrowed money to
invest in Bitcoin.Copy !req
5. Then the price crashed,
and I sold at a huge loss.Copy !req
6. We're ruined!Copy !req
7. Oh, sorry. I didn't realize
you were watching TV.Copy !req
8. The tragic impact
destroyed the planet Klarg,Copy !req
9. along with its 50 billion inhabitants.Copy !req
10. In other news, Morbo,
guess what's back?Copy !req
11. - The planet Klarg?
- Nope!Copy !req
12. The price of Bitcoin!Copy !req
13. Uh, wha?Copy !req
14. The virtual "money"Copy !req
15. is soaring once again,Copy !req
16. leading to a high-tech
gold rush.Copy !req
17. Prospectors are heading west,
where cheap,Copy !req
18. filthy electricity beckons
the desperate.Copy !req
19. This gives me a
desperate idea!Copy !req
20. Haven't you learned
that BitcoinCopy !req
21. is just a pyramid
scheme for rubes?Copy !req
22. Yes, and my planCopy !req
23. is to exploit those rubes!Copy !req
24. You see, the new mining chipsCopy !req
25. are made from element 81,Copy !req
26. thallium, a rare element
found out west.Copy !req
27. I plan to actually mine it,Copy !req
28. then sell it to the
Bitcoin "miners."Copy !req
29. It's a sure way to repay
my loan brokers.Copy !req
30. Yo. We're also leg brokers.Copy !req
31. Goodbye, Robot Mafia!Copy !req
32. The Bitcoin mines are usingCopy !req
33. such colossal amounts of powerCopy !req
34. that it's ionizing
the atmosphere.Copy !req
35. We'll need to land
and drive the rest of the way.Copy !req
36. I'll set her down on
the Donner trail.Copy !req
37. It's a good thing we
brought the oxen.Copy !req
38. Usually, we don't.Copy !req
39. I've never been
out west before,Copy !req
40. but I'm learning a lot from these
Borax Kid action books.Copy !req
41. I'm robbing this vaultCopy !req
42. and ain't no ionic compound
gonna stop me!Copy !req
43. Freeze, Maxwell's Demon.Copy !req
44. I'd advise you to drop
those gold molecules.Copy !req
45. The Borax Kid!Copy !req
46. I'm gonna pump you
full of lead.Copy !req
47. You know, 'round these parts,
folks don't think things.Copy !req
48. They reckon them.
And instead of an idiot,Copy !req
49. I'll be known as a galoot!Copy !req
50. - Isn't this scenery spectacular, Dwight?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
51. Your mother thought you'd enjoy
some fresh air for once.Copy !req
52. She sure was wrong.Copy !req
53. Well, anyway, I'm really
looking forwardCopy !req
54. to some quality father-son time.Copy !req
55. With who?Copy !req
56. Ah, crypto country.Copy !req
57. There's thallium in
them thar hills!Copy !req
58. Priceless, toxic thallium.Copy !req
59. Um, is this thallium?Copy !req
60. Oh my, yes! High-grade ore!Copy !req
61. Um, Professor? Toxic.Copy !req
62. Relax. They're my
prospecting teeth.Copy !req
63. Oh, quit
your chattering.Copy !req
64. We're almost there.Copy !req
65. Welcome to Doge City!Copy !req
66. Looks like you got
seven hornswogglersCopy !req
67. and a galoot!Copy !req
68. Woo-hoo! We made it!Copy !req
69. It's pretty lawless out here
in crypto country,Copy !req
70. so put on your protective headgear.Copy !req
71. Hiya!Copy !req
72. Kind of old-fashionedCopy !req
73. for a town built on
high-speed computation.Copy !req
74. Well, every watt
of electricityCopy !req
75. goes to the Bitcoin
mining computers.Copy !req
76. For everyone else,Copy !req
77. it's practically like living
in the Old West.Copy !req
78. Old West. Got it.Copy !req
79. Until we stake our claim
and strike it rich,Copy !req
80. keep in mind, we're bankrupt.Copy !req
81. So we'll all need to do
Old West stuff to get by.Copy !req
82. Old West. Got it.Copy !req
83. Welcome, friends.
What'll you have?Copy !req
84. Your freest beverage.
We're very poor.Copy !req
85. Gotcha. I'll just mix all the unfinished
drinks together and start a tab.Copy !req
86. - She seems nice.
- At times, yes.Copy !req
87. Though her mood fluctuates
like the price of Bitcoin.Copy !req
88. And don't come back
till you settle your tab!Copy !req
89. Though, I do regret hurting you.
I tell you what.Copy !req
90. Go see the girls in
the back room. It's on me.Copy !req
91. - Girls?
- Yep.Copy !req
92. Delilah runs a house
of ill repute in back.Copy !req
93. "Ill"? You mean a hospital?Copy !req
94. I mean a cathouse.Copy !req
95. A pet store?Copy !req
96. A brothel.Copy !req
97. A soup kitchen?Copy !req
98. Yeah. A soup kitchen.Copy !req
99. Whoa! Who's that?Copy !req
100. A psychotic killer,
that's who! Get down!Copy !req
101. Hey, Roberto!
What's with the piece?Copy !req
102. I thought you were more
of a knife guy.Copy !req
103. Out here in the West,
I need something shootier.Copy !req
104. Like this gun-knife
I invented-stole!Copy !req
105. Where's that beer
I ordered-didn't order?Copy !req
106. You didn't order a—Copy !req
107. Say, you're new in town
and low on cash.Copy !req
108. You interested in a jobCopy !req
109. as a barmaid
and/or a prostitute?Copy !req
110. Um, I'm not sure Leela
has the skills to be a barmaid.Copy !req
111. Gimme the tray!Copy !req
112. Alright, up next,
our final item.Copy !req
113. This burro is in near-mint
condition.Copy !req
114. Perfect for hauling Bitcoin,Copy !req
115. light housework,
or just abusing.Copy !req
116. Bidders? Bidders?
Do I have any bidders?Copy !req
117. Twelve-millionths
of a Bitcoin!Copy !req
118. Twelve micro-Bitcoin.
Do I hear 13? Thirteen, 13?Copy !req
119. Not from me, you don't!Copy !req
120. Fifteen! I always wanted to
own a racehorse.Copy !req
121. That's a donkey, Bender.Copy !req
122. Donkeys are just ugly horses, Amy.Copy !req
123. Sold to the zoologist over there!Copy !req
124. Oh! I'm gonna call him Rusty.Copy !req
125. Good 'cause that's his name!Copy !req
126. Ah! This looks like
a good place to make camp.Copy !req
127. Doesn't it look like
a good place to make camp?Copy !req
128. It looks stupid.
This whole trip is stupid.Copy !req
129. You're stupid, Pops!Copy !req
130. I appreciate your constructive
criticism, son.Copy !req
131. I wish Roberto were my dad.Copy !req
132. He's cooler than a green snake
smoking a sugar cane vape.Copy !req
133. No self-respecting green snake
would do that!Copy !req
134. Kind sir, could you assay this nugget?Copy !req
135. By my tooth test,
I estimate it's 0.3% thallium.Copy !req
136. Tooth test?
Balderweeds.Copy !req
137. Let's see what
my metallurgical analyzer says.Copy !req
138. 0.3% thallium.Copy !req
139. Hoo-hoo, boy!Copy !req
140. I'll give you 100 micro-Bitcoin
for it.Copy !req
141. But weed a million
times that amountCopy !req
142. or we're gonna get clamped!Copy !req
143. Robot Mafia, huh? Eh.Copy !req
144. Well, maybe there's
some thalliumCopy !req
145. in that there chassis of yours.Copy !req
146. Assay my shiny metal ass!Copy !req
147. 0.0000...Copy !req
148. Tain't even worth melting down.Copy !req
149. Well then, perhaps my ass
might be of value to youCopy !req
150. in some other way?Copy !req
151. Eh, it might make
a good frying pan,Copy !req
152. but fried food makes
me cackle.Copy !req
153. We'll just sell you the nugget.Copy !req
154. May I ask who turns
the thallium into microchips?Copy !req
155. I'm an all-in-one operation.Copy !req
156. My motto is,
"He who smelts it, dealts it!"Copy !req
157. Pop one of those in
a high-end server, and blam!Copy !req
158. You're mining crypto.Copy !req
159. Ooh, lookie there!
Found another Bitcoin!Copy !req
160. Aw, dog dumplings.Copy !req
161. It's just a danged Ethereum.Copy !req
162. Hello, I'm Zoidberg.Copy !req
163. Like you, I'm a doctor.Copy !req
164. So, uh,
what's your survival rate?Copy !req
165. Pretty high.
I'm a psychiatrist.Copy !req
166. Got a patient coming 'round
for anger management about now.Copy !req
167. Hiya, Doc.
Boy, it's been a stressful week.Copy !req
168. What's with the jumbo prawn?Copy !req
169. A colleague.
Mind if he sits in?Copy !req
170. Yes, I do mind!Copy !req
171. I value doctor-patient
confidentiality!Copy !req
172. Patang!
Ah!Copy !req
173. So, how's business?Copy !req
174. Disappointing.
I only got 30 cents in tipsCopy !req
175. and one request to visit
the back room.Copy !req
176. I mean, I wouldn't go,
but it's nice to be asked.Copy !req
177. Can you think of anything
I can do to look sluttier?Copy !req
178. Nope.Copy !req
179. Look! The Borax Kid!Copy !req
180. And his sidekick Mumbles!Copy !req
181. You know he's not
actually a heroCopy !req
182. like in his books, right?Copy !req
183. He's a poker cheat
and a low-down base mineral.Copy !req
184. Wow. The Borax Kid.Copy !req
185. Excuse me, Mr. Kid.Copy !req
186. My name is Fry,Copy !req
187. and I'm a big fan of
your young adult adventures.Copy !req
188. Oh, really?
Uh, do you play poker?Copy !req
189. Yeah, but I was warned
not to play poker with you.Copy !req
190. Well, then how about a hand
of Colorado Chump?Copy !req
191. As long as it's not poker.Copy !req
192. So what are you doing here?Copy !req
193. Fighting evil or just
helping townspeople?Copy !req
194. Not much money in
helping folks.Copy !req
195. Double chump. You lose.Copy !req
196. I heard the Borax Kid's in town.Copy !req
197. Come on out here, Kid!Copy !req
198. Mumbles, go see
what all that fuss is about.Copy !req
199. And wear my signature hat.Copy !req
200. Pa-pow-pow!Copy !req
201. Mumbles is dead!Copy !req
202. Don't argue with me, Mumbles.
I'm the town doctor.Copy !req
203. Well, shucks. My sidekicks
seem to be dying right regular.Copy !req
204. And in gruesome fashion.Copy !req
205. Care to be my new sidekick?Copy !req
206. Really? Do I get to die in
your next book?Copy !req
207. Page three.Copy !req
208. Then you got yourself
a galoot.Copy !req
209. Nice camp. Is this my tent?Copy !req
210. No. You only come
in to tidy up.Copy !req
211. There's just enough room for me
and my private library there.Copy !req
212. Can I sleep in the library?Copy !req
213. I'd like to say yes,
but then it wouldn't be private.Copy !req
214. This place has too
much outdoors!Copy !req
215. It's all bugs and no Wi-Fi.Copy !req
216. Don't get your dreads
in a knot, son.Copy !req
217. Any more than they're
supposed to be.Copy !req
218. How about a father-son
limbo break?Copy !req
219. I hate limbo, Dad!
Limbo is stupid.Copy !req
220. Limbo stupid?
Where did I go wrong?Copy !req
221. Probably when you
took up limbo.Copy !req
222. From what I'm hearing,
it's stupid.Copy !req
223. Bender! Where are the shovels
I asked you to pack?Copy !req
224. Oh, you said shovels?Copy !req
225. I thought you said
take a break and do nothing.Copy !req
226. Hm. Then we'll just have
to find thalliumCopy !req
227. the old-fashioned way.
By panning.Copy !req
228. Panning? With what?Copy !req
229. Sometimes,
I think a detachable assCopy !req
230. is more a curse than a blessing.
Come on, Rusty.Copy !req
231. What the? Rusty! No!Copy !req
232. Oh, why didn't I listen
to my own song?Copy !req
233. Get yourself tuned
or get outta town,Copy !req
234. you overgrowed teletype machine.Copy !req
235. Eh, shut your cackling trap!Copy !req
236. Cram that racket!Copy !req
237. This is a nice, quiet saloon
with attached bordello.Copy !req
238. You handle the menfolk
pretty well.Copy !req
239. But mess with my
customers again,Copy !req
240. and I'll kill you in your sleep!Copy !req
241. Lovin' the boots.Copy !req
242. Um, have you considered
seeing someoneCopy !req
243. - about your mood swings?
- No!Copy !req
244. But it is a good idea.Copy !req
245. Mr. Roberto?Copy !req
246. Folks call me Amarillo Dwight.Copy !req
247. On account of I wrote
a geography report on it.Copy !req
248. Done got me a "A."Copy !req
249. How's about you and me
team up and rob stuff?Copy !req
250. - What are you, like, 11?
- Twelve.Copy !req
251. Close enough. I need a kid
for a job I'm planning.Copy !req
252. See that stagecoach?Copy !req
253. It's taking a USB stickCopy !req
254. with a company's weekly haul
of Bitcoin credentialsCopy !req
255. to a bank in San Francisc-y.Copy !req
256. Only, they ain't never gonna
reach San Francisc-y.Copy !req
257. Why not?
They using Apple Maps?Copy !req
258. Not one patient.Copy !req
259. Not even a case of splinters
to treat with my bone saw.Copy !req
260. Thanks, robot, but I couldn't
eat a thing right now.Copy !req
261. Can you save him,
Doc?Copy !req
262. If it's something that
can be cured by a bone saw!Copy !req
263. I'll need anesthetic!Copy !req
264. Get me a bottle of
animal whiskey!Copy !req
265. Ha-ha!Copy !req
266. They see a cute kid
lying in the road,Copy !req
267. stagecoach gotta stop.Copy !req
268. Then I jump out and stab 'em!Copy !req
269. Bang!Copy !req
270. But, won't that be,
like, murder?Copy !req
271. 'Cause colleges look
at stuff like that.Copy !req
272. Here they come!
Shut up and look cute.Copy !req
273. Guess you ain't as
cute as I thought.Copy !req
274. The West can be dangerous
at night, Leela,Copy !req
275. so thanks for walking me home.Copy !req
276. Don't worry. The Kid will save us, right?
Right.Copy !req
277. Better back off, puma.Copy !req
278. I think it's actually
a cougar.Copy !req
279. Puma, cougar, whatever!
Get him, Kid!Copy !req
280. Or a mountain lion.Copy !req
281. You know, they're really all
the same animal.Copy !req
282. It seems I bravely
shot that catamountCopy !req
283. just in time after Fry missed.Copy !req
284. Thanks, Kid.
Maybe I was wrong about you.Copy !req
285. Beautiful ladies are wrong
about lots of things.Copy !req
286. Ah, it's nice to see you two
getting along so intimately.Copy !req
287. It's hopeless!Copy !req
288. There's barely any thallium!Copy !req
289. Just worthless gold.Copy !req
290. Well, Rusty's good as new!Copy !req
291. I performed surgery
on Bender's ass!Copy !req
292. Zoidberg is the hero!Copy !req
293. No! Bender's ass is!Copy !req
294. I mean his butt ass.Copy !req
295. It's so beautiful.Copy !req
296. Hey, what's that big rock on it?Copy !req
297. It's enough thallium
to pay off all our debts!Copy !req
298. Eh, well, mine, anyway.Copy !req
299. Only the assay shop's
closed for the night,Copy !req
300. and it's getting dark.Copy !req
301. We'll have to take turns
guarding the nuggetCopy !req
302. with our lives until morning.Copy !req
303. I'd take a shift myself,Copy !req
304. but I am already in my pajamas.Copy !req
305. I steal it. I steal it not.
I steal it...Copy !req
306. Gimme the nugget!Copy !req
307. And the daisy, too.
I gotta know how it comes out!Copy !req
308. Ah, nature.Copy !req
309. I hate it. Let's sell that
thallium nuggetCopy !req
310. and hit the trail.Copy !req
311. Oh, no. The nugget is gone!Copy !req
312. And so is Bender.Copy !req
313. Eh, wha?Copy !req
314. Oh, my gosh! Rusty!Copy !req
315. Bray us what happened!Copy !req
316. Come on! He's picked
up Bender's scent!Copy !req
317. His what now?Copy !req
318. Back room don't open
till church lets out.Copy !req
319. It's empty!Copy !req
320. This is the worst brothel
I've ever seen.Copy !req
321. It's an immense Bitcoin mine!Copy !req
322. Or an even worse brothel.Copy !req
323. These aren't servers.
They're robot heads!Copy !req
324. Someone's using them
to mine Bitcoin!Copy !req
325. That's actually a
pretty reasonableCopy !req
326. use case for robot heads. But—Copy !req
327. Hey! It's a guy I know.Copy !req
328. Are you okay, Bender?Copy !req
329. No, I'm not okay!
That's a stupid question!Copy !req
330. I was peacefully stealing
your thallium,Copy !req
331. when, suddenly— Ha-ha!Copy !req
332. I was kidnapped
by our friend from the saloon.Copy !req
333. I'm not your friend.Copy !req
334. Though,
I do like you a lot.Copy !req
335. Didn't you ever wonder
who was gettin' richCopy !req
336. off all this Bitcoin nonsense?Copy !req
337. - Never!
- Computer servers are expensive,Copy !req
338. but robot heads are cheap.
Heck, free.Copy !req
339. Mining Bitcoin
with kidnapped robot heads?Copy !req
340. It's pure evil!Copy !req
341. Hardly. I donate all the
proceeds to a local orphanage.Copy !req
342. Aw...Copy !req
343. But I can't let
you tell anyoneCopy !req
344. about my generous scheme,Copy !req
345. so I'll have to seal youCopy !req
346. in this comfortably
air-conditioned warehouse.Copy !req
347. Forever!Copy !req
348. But I'll drop by every
day with snacks.Copy !req
349. Aw...
Snacks are good.Copy !req
350. Huh.Copy !req
351. Crypto mining was total hell.Copy !req
352. Any number you can think of,Copy !req
353. there's a number bigger than that!Copy !req
354. So how do we get out of here?Copy !req
355. Easy. We'll burrow out!Copy !req
356. Burrow! Burrow!Copy !req
357. I deserved that.Copy !req
358. This tie pin?
Why, it was a giftCopy !req
359. from my good friend Diamond
Jim Diamond.Copy !req
360. That guy who's just
a big diamond? You know him?Copy !req
361. Step away from Leela, Kid.Copy !req
362. The jig is up!
I found your collectionCopy !req
363. of Buffalo Bill Cobalt novels.Copy !req
364. You just copied thoseCopy !req
365. and replaced his
name with yours!Copy !req
366. - What?
- Well, now,Copy !req
367. there's nothing illegal
about that.Copy !req
368. Those old stories are
public domain.Copy !req
369. I change up a few wordsCopy !req
370. and claim the copyright
for myself.Copy !req
371. - Ya ever heard of Cinderella?
- That is so evil!Copy !req
372. I'm calling you out, Kid.Copy !req
373. I told you, stop that
racket!Copy !req
374. Not till you stop
that damn cackling!Copy !req
375. Then I'm callin' you out.Copy !req
376. Delilah, you head-napper!Copy !req
377. I'm calling you out!Copy !req
378. You're on.Copy !req
379. Look out, Fry!
He's got the ace of spades!Copy !req
380. That, sir,
was my cheatin' hand.Copy !req
381. Pops! Get outta there!Copy !req
382. I'm too scared!Copy !req
383. There's bullets in
every dimension!Copy !req
384. Hang on! I'm limboing in!Copy !req
385. You. Play something Jamaican.Copy !req
386. Your spine!Copy !req
387. It's magnificent!Copy !req
388. I take after my dad.Copy !req
389. Also, I got run over.
Now, follow me!Copy !req
390. This gun violence has to end!Copy !req
391. Can't we all just agree
to use knives?Copy !req
392. Ha-ha!Copy !req
393. Well, shucks.Copy !req
394. Ow!Copy !req
395. Oops. Sorry, Leela.Copy !req
396. Ma'am, I'd be right honored
to disinfect your woundCopy !req
397. with the kiss of borax.Copy !req
398. May I escort you to the brothel,
so as you can lie down?Copy !req
399. I've never been so offended
yet slightly flattered!Copy !req
400. Then, I reckon I'll
be moseying offCopy !req
401. to plagiarize another
adventure. Ma'am.Copy !req
402. Perhaps I could disinfect
your wound.Copy !req
403. I'd like that.Copy !req
404. Care to escort me
to the brothel?Copy !req
405. It seems, Miss Delilah,Copy !req
406. you've taken a shot
to the bustle.Copy !req
407. Fortunately, it bounced off
your damned thallium nugget.Copy !req
408. Here. It's rightfully yours.Copy !req
409. Oh!Copy !req
410. Well, I'd better
go exchange thisCopy !req
411. for Bitcoin, so I can—Copy !req
412. Pay back the Robot Mafia?Copy !req
413. Exactly. I'll be
back in a moment.Copy !req
414. And in the meantime,Copy !req
415. how would you gents fancy
a visit to the back room?Copy !req
416. That sounds
like something we would enjoy.Copy !req
417. I love you, Pops.Copy !req
418. And limbo is not
entirely stupid.Copy !req
419. Oh, son. Neither are you.Copy !req
420. If we ever get outta here,Copy !req
421. I'm gonna give this brothel
a really bad Yelp review.Copy !req