1. Professor's
lab notes, final entry.Copy !req
2. Time has been frozen
for an unknown length of time.Copy !req
3. With no time to lose,Copy !req
4. I began tunneling through time
in search of Fry and Leela,Copy !req
5. only to find them sufferingCopy !req
6. from a case of extreme old.Copy !req
7. Horrified, I offered to reset the universeCopy !req
8. to the instant before time stopped.Copy !req
9. They could be young once more.Copy !req
10. Still grotesquely ugly, but young.Copy !req
11. What do you say? Wanna go around again?Copy !req
12. I do.Copy !req
13. D-Did someone switch
the universe off and on?Copy !req
14. It feels like we got rebooted!Copy !req
15. Ugh! Why is my beer stale?Copy !req
16. Yay! I'm sharing
backwash with friends!Copy !req
17. Well, whatever happenedCopy !req
18. the important thing is
it will never, ever happen...Copy !req
19. again.Copy !req
20. Robot?Copy !req
21. Nah, I'm just yankin' your ass.Copy !req
22. We're back, baby!Copy !req
23. Good news, everyone!Copy !req
24. My new wrinkle cream has arrived!Copy !req
25. Also, we seem to have survived
a massive disruptionCopy !req
26. in the flow of time.Copy !req
27. Did we get older? Younger?Copy !req
28. Science holds no answers.Copy !req
29. Does science know what year it is?Copy !req
30. Science knows everything!Copy !req
31. Let's check the atomic calendar.Copy !req
32. Hermes,Copy !req
33. move that espresso maker out of
the way of the atomic calendar!Copy !req
34. Good lord!Copy !req
35. It's the year 3023!Copy !req
36. Finally. I thought
he'd never stop yammering.Copy !req
37. Oh, I've only just
begun yammering!Copy !req
38. I shall now expoundCopy !req
39. on the science of explosive botulism.Copy !req
40. Have I really spent
23 years in the future?Copy !req
41. We call it the present, but spluttever.Copy !req
42. Twenty-three years,
and I've achieved nothing.Copy !req
43. - Nothing!
- It's really sad, if you think about it.Copy !req
44. Yeah. Laugh all you want,Copy !req
45. but I've wasted enough of my life.Copy !req
46. It's time I set myself a goal.Copy !req
47. - Stop it!
- Ow!Copy !req
48. But he said laugh all you want!Copy !req
49. I don't care.Copy !req
50. If Fry wants to set a goal for himself,Copy !req
51. we should support him,
not point and laugh.Copy !req
52. Oh, right. I forgot to point.Copy !req
53. Ow!
Ow.Copy !req
54. Life's goal, life's goal...Copy !req
55. Have you considered donating
your legs to the legless?Copy !req
56. Or destroying documents
for the shredder-less?Copy !req
57. Let's leave this up to Fry.Copy !req
58. He just needs a little peace and quiet.Copy !req
59. Not on my watch!Copy !req
60. That's it! I've got my goal!Copy !req
61. And so quickly! What is it?Copy !req
62. J, Philip I. Fry.Copy !req
63. I-I mean, I, Philip J. Fry,Copy !req
64. hereby pledge to watchCopy !req
65. every TV show ever made!Copy !req
66. I don't know, meatbag.Copy !req
67. There's a mighty deep diaper
of content out there.Copy !req
68. I eat diapers for breakfast.Copy !req
69. It'll take a lot of sitting,Copy !req
70. but with the world's fourth-most
popular streaming service,Copy !req
71. I can do it.Copy !req
72. I'm subscribing to...Copy !req
73. Fulu!Copy !req
74. Leela, aren't you gonna stop this?Copy !req
75. I should, but I don't wanna
crush his dreams.Copy !req
76. Hermes, can you crush his dreams?Copy !req
77. Oh, no. You're not fobbing
that girlfriend duty off on me.Copy !req
78. A lifetime of laziness
gives me a huge head start.Copy !req
79. Watched it. Watched it.Copy !req
80. Hate-watched it. Hate-watched it twice.Copy !req
81. Kif has a single friend. His name is Zapp.Copy !req
82. Stop. I said I would support
Fry's dumb goal,Copy !req
83. and I will.Copy !req
84. I say go for it.Copy !req
85. Thanks, Leela. Ooh!Copy !req
86. The Scary Mirror! That sounds scary.Copy !req
87. You're entering a showCopy !req
88. that is slightly differentCopy !req
89. from previous, very similar shows.Copy !req
90. What was once a creepy story about a bookCopy !req
91. is now about an E-reader
that's too greasy to hold.Copy !req
92. And that one with the phone call
from the devil?Copy !req
93. Now, it's a FaceTime call from the devil.Copy !req
94. The devil part didn't change.Copy !req
95. Prepare to see your
unflattering reflection in...Copy !req
96. The Scary Mirror.Copy !req
97. Hey, Sniri! Get off your fat squiggleCopy !req
98. and make me a dinner reservation
at Impassable Burger!Copy !req
99. And check the price of my NFTs
'cause I'm an important tech guy!Copy !req
100. Reservation confirmed.
NFTs worthless.Copy !req
101. What? You shoulda told me to sell them!Copy !req
102. Any idiot could do your job!Copy !req
103. What the hell, Sniri?Copy !req
104. From now on, I'll be
asking the stupid questions.Copy !req
105. Such as, "What's the weather
right outside my damn window?"Copy !req
106. And, um, "How does a steering wheel work?"Copy !req
107. Wow. Whatever just happened
really makes you think.Copy !req
108. It sure do.Copy !req
109. TV, dumb it down for me.Copy !req
110. Bam!Copy !req
111. Aw...Copy !req
112. What is the deal withCopy !req
113. non-binary robots?Copy !req
114. Wow. PC Crowd.Copy !req
115. Without Fry's interruptions,Copy !req
116. efficiency is up 32 perc— Mm...Copy !req
117. Well, my butt's numb,
and my remote hand is dead,Copy !req
118. but all I have left is the final
season of All My Circuits.Copy !req
119. Which final season?Copy !req
120. They got canceled, like,
three or four times.Copy !req
121. Pfft! Loserama!Copy !req
122. The final final season, from 10 years ago.Copy !req
123. I wonder how many episodes were in it?Copy !req
124. Mm, twelve— No. Thirteen...Copy !req
125. thousand and twenty.Copy !req
126. 13,020? But— But—Copy !req
127. I'll never make it! I'm sorry, Leela.Copy !req
128. I'll never be able to watch enough TVCopy !req
129. to make you proud of me.Copy !req
130. It might actually be possible.Copy !req
131. - But— No.
- What? What is it?Copy !req
132. It's risky, but we have a technology nowCopy !req
133. that allows you to watch all the episodesCopy !req
134. in one continuous stretch.Copy !req
135. We call it... bingeing.Copy !req
136. No, no! What?Copy !req
137. Sounds great! I'll do it!Copy !req
138. You don't understand, Fry!Copy !req
139. Bingeing doesn't mean
what it did in your day!Copy !req
140. Drinking two six-packsCopy !req
141. and barfing in my mom's jewelry box?Copy !req
142. Ew! No!Copy !req
143. It means strapping into
these bingeing gogglesCopy !req
144. that drill directly into your brain.Copy !req
145. Fry, don't be the idiot you are.Copy !req
146. Before you go jabbing
into your visual cortex,Copy !req
147. I implore you to—Copy !req
148. Ow! My cortex!Copy !req
149. I maintain that this isCopy !req
150. a catastrophically boneheaded idea.Copy !req
151. But, if you're going to binge,
you'll need a still suit.Copy !req
152. Why is it called a still suit?Copy !req
153. Because you'll be sitting perfectly still.Copy !req
154. And I can't have you soiling
my binge-a-lounger.Copy !req
155. Engage hoses!Copy !req
156. I'm not entirely sure
which is the air hoseCopy !req
157. and which is the waste hose.Copy !req
158. But, live and learn.Copy !req
159. Farewell, Leela. And always remember...Copy !req
160. All My Circuits
is brought to you by...Copy !req
161. Honey Bunches of Springs.Copy !req
162. Everybody loves Honey Bunches of Springs!Copy !req
163. Except humans. Fatal for humans.Copy !req
164. Calculon! But you weren't due backCopy !req
165. from the time travel convention until—Copy !req
166. Yesterday?Copy !req
167. He's been streaming for monthsCopy !req
168. without a single break.Copy !req
169. No wonder you find him so attractive.Copy !req
170. The waste buckets indicate
strong bowel function.Copy !req
171. Now, let's see how his brain is holding upCopy !req
172. to this sensory assault.Copy !req
173. Oh, dear.Copy !req
174. Is that the TV signal or Fry's brainwaves?Copy !req
175. Both!Copy !req
176. Fry's feeble mind has beenCopy !req
177. overpowered by the binge.Copy !req
178. He's losing touch with reality!Copy !req
179. It's true!Copy !req
180. He's not responding to anyCopy !req
181. of the sounds or smells I'm making.Copy !req
182. As long as Fry doesn't run
out of episodes, he'll be okay.Copy !req
183. But if he reaches the end of
the series, God forbid,Copy !req
184. his consciousness will be severed!Copy !req
185. Much as this hedge clipperCopy !req
186. severs Leela's ponytail.Copy !req
187. - Hey!
- Oh, boo-hoo!Copy !req
188. It's a metaphor. Don't take it literally.Copy !req
189. But, Fry will become a vegetable!Copy !req
190. Yum! I mean sad.Copy !req
191. This is all my fault.Copy !req
192. Actually, it's mostly Fry's fault,Copy !req
193. but it's a little my fault!Copy !req
194. We have to find some wayCopy !req
195. to extricate Fry from Fulu's iron grip.Copy !req
196. I'll put on my thinking cap.Copy !req
197. There's not much time.Copy !req
198. He's almost out of episodes of
All My Circuits.Copy !req
199. Maybe they'll drop a new season.Copy !req
200. Eh, fat chance, sweatpants.Copy !req
201. It got canceled 10 years ago.Copy !req
202. TV shows don't come back
after that. No way!Copy !req
203. Not on broadcast or cable.Copy !req
204. What about Fulu?Copy !req
205. They'll bring back any old crap!Copy !req
206. Good thinking!Copy !req
207. Maybe we can get them to
reboot it as a streaming series.Copy !req
208. We'll start a fan campaign,Copy !req
209. with letters and a viral hashtag!Copy !req
210. Pfft. That's a recipe for failure.Copy !req
211. Let's go punch somebody.Copy !req
212. Have a good one.Copy !req
213. Tell us why you think
you can punch your wayCopy !req
214. into the Fulu executive suite.Copy !req
215. And if we can validate your parking.Copy !req
216. Alright. Here's our pitch.Copy !req
217. Remember that show All My Circuits?Copy !req
218. The one that got canceled three times?Copy !req
219. Exactly!Copy !req
220. New episodes of that!Copy !req
221. - That's our pitch.
- Conferencing.Copy !req
222. I'm going to have to say...Copy !req
223. - Hard.
- Pass.Copy !req
224. All My Circus reruns
have a devoted robot fan base,Copy !req
225. but they rarely buy anything
from our advertisers.Copy !req
226. Correction. New data
indicates a sudden uptickCopy !req
227. in buying by viewers.Copy !req
228. Correction. One viewer.Copy !req
229. Sweet jerk venison of Turkmenistan!Copy !req
230. Fry ordered all this junk?Copy !req
231. Robot cereal. Robot noodles.Copy !req
232. Robot oil. Oh, wait. That's mine.Copy !req
233. So, what do you say?Copy !req
234. How about picking up All My CircuitsCopy !req
235. for 20 episodes?Copy !req
236. - With an option for 20 more!
- Maybe a movie?Copy !req
237. Hm. Against my better judgment programing,Copy !req
238. I'm going to greenlight the project.Copy !req
239. - Woo-hoo!
- Points on the back end!Copy !req
240. Now, there's one teensy hitch.Copy !req
241. You know the star of the show, Calculon?Copy !req
242. He's dead.Copy !req
243. Everything is negotiable.Copy !req
244. Hell yes, you can have him! Scale plus 10.Copy !req
245. And if he dies again, no backsies.Copy !req
246. Hey, Calculon!
Yes?Copy !req
247. You're wanted on set!Copy !req
248. Oh, glorious rapture.Copy !req
249. To return to the draped
proscenium once more—Copy !req
250. Will you shut up and get into
the resurrection cannon?Copy !req
251. Alright, it's great to be back.Copy !req
252. Truly humbled. All the usual crap.Copy !req
253. Places, everyone! Places!Copy !req
254. Ah...Copy !req
255. Where is my assistant?Copy !req
256. I need help finding my mark.Copy !req
257. Uh, I'm Mark.Copy !req
258. More coffee, Mr. Calculon?Copy !req
259. Yes, I do need to expel more coffee.Copy !req
260. Professor to Hollywood.Copy !req
261. - Come in, Hollywood.
- Talk to me.Copy !req
262. How many episodes does Fry have left?Copy !req
263. Two. And one of them is a clip show.Copy !req
264. But that means—Copy !req
265. Indeed. If you don't crank outCopy !req
266. new episodes quickly,Copy !req
267. Fry will be dead by lunch.Copy !req
268. I'm having ham salad.Copy !req
269. But, this is impossible.
To keep them from running out,Copy !req
270. we'll need to produce
an hour-long episode every hour,Copy !req
271. nonstop, forever!Copy !req
272. If Law & Order can do it, so can you.Copy !req
273. Professor out!Copy !req
274. Futurama is brought to you by...Copy !req
275. Slurm Zero! None of the flavor,Copy !req
276. all of the addiction!Copy !req
277. Whimmy-wham-wham-wozzle!Copy !req
278. Monique, my love. Will you be my—Copy !req
279. Cut! Next episode! Action!Copy !req
280. Plumber?Copy !req
281. Fry better not be puttin' this robot junkCopy !req
282. on the corporate credit card.Copy !req
283. That's exclusively for
my one-man business dinners.Copy !req
284. Hermes, quit your low-stakes
embezzling and look at this.Copy !req
285. Fry is now streaming at double speed!Copy !req
286. I'll mirror his view on the TV.Copy !req
287. Oh, how I love
the illicit thrillCopy !req
288. of cheating on my husband with
an actual flesh-and-blood human.Copy !req
289. A filthy, filthy human.
So squishy and gooey.Copy !req
290. You're like a sexy water balloon.Copy !req
291. The thrill is all mine, Monique.Copy !req
292. I've never been on a swan boat before.Copy !req
293. Calculon!Copy !req
294. Monique, how could you?Copy !req
295. And with Human Friend, the very personCopy !req
296. I've been cheating on you with.Copy !req
297. Calculon, how could you?
And with Human Friend,Copy !req
298. the very person
I've been cheating on you with.Copy !req
299. Calculon, Monique, how could you?Copy !req
300. Enough. We're stuck in a loop.Copy !req
301. I just hope we can come to some agreement,Copy !req
302. and that this boat can hold
six tons of steel.Copy !req
303. He's streaming at double speed?Copy !req
304. Why not just slow it down?Copy !req
305. Because Fry's brain is inCopy !req
306. a very precarious binge-state.Copy !req
307. Any change, even refillingCopy !req
308. the Dorito bowl, could kill him.Copy !req
309. Oh, no!
Oh, yes.Copy !req
310. You've got to make
episodes faster. Faster!Copy !req
311. We're already making
an hour-long show every hour.Copy !req
312. That's the fastest it can be done!Copy !req
313. Nonsense, Leela.Copy !req
314. Why, I am the spokesman for fast acting.Copy !req
315. You're the spokesman for
fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.Copy !req
316. - Your point?
- I have none.Copy !req
317. A robot actor of my caliber
can act at speedsCopy !req
318. far beyond what even the greatestCopy !req
319. human actors can achieve.Copy !req
320. To be or not to be. That is the question.Copy !req
321. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
to suffer the slings and arrows...Copy !req
322. You missed a line.Copy !req
323. Can you direct at double speed?Copy !req
324. I don't know. Can you pay at double scale?Copy !req
325. It's not my money.Copy !req
326. Just yell action really, really fa—Copy !req
327. Action!Copy !req
328. Calculon, I've come to tell you that—Copy !req
329. Um...
- Cut! What happened?Copy !req
330. The script pages stopped uploading.Copy !req
331. It's those damned lazy writers!Copy !req
332. Can't even manage to write
an hour-long episodeCopy !req
333. every 15 minutes.Copy !req
334. I died doing what I hated.Copy !req
335. Can't you just ad lib?Copy !req
336. Asking an actor to ad lib
is like asking a...Copy !req
337. guy to... five.Copy !req
338. So I'll just write the scripts.Copy !req
339. - Any idiot could be a TV writer.
- Many are.Copy !req
340. How hard can it be?Copy !req
341. I love you, Calculon.Copy !req
342. Let's do it, baby.Copy !req
343. Bender is great.Copy !req
344. And fade to black.Copy !req
345. - You're hired!
- Hello, Writer's Guild.Copy !req
346. I'm afraid he'll never calculate again.Copy !req
347. - Or he'll do so inaccurately.
- Let's do it, baby.Copy !req
348. - Bender is great.
- Cut!Copy !req
349. Okay, reset for scene 31,652B...Copy !req
350. Was that heart attack part of the script?Copy !req
351. No, but leave it in. It's hilarious.Copy !req
352. Fry's life is on the line.Copy !req
353. It's all up to me as executive producer.Copy !req
354. Action! I mean, action!Copy !req
355. Louder and funnier! Smile faster!Copy !req
356. Act better! Less nuance!Copy !req
357. That was terrible! Next scene!Copy !req
358. Action! Cut! Action! I mean, cut!Copy !req
359. Action! And... cut!Copy !req
360. Wow. Great writing, everyone.
That's a wrap!Copy !req
361. What exactly happened in that episode?Copy !req
362. I won an Emmy, that's what.Copy !req
363. Okay, everyone,
take five...Copy !req
364. seconds. Next episode!Copy !req
365. Hang on, Leela.Copy !req
366. I think the execubotsCopy !req
367. have some constructive notes.Copy !req
368. This is very hard for me
to say, Leela, so he'll say it.Copy !req
369. We love everything about this show.Copy !req
370. It's not working at all.Copy !req
371. You're canceled.Copy !req
372. You'll always be an important partCopy !req
373. of the Fulu family.Copy !req
374. Get out!Copy !req
375. But, our friend Fry...Copy !req
376. He's gonna die...Copy !req
377. Strike the set.Copy !req
378. How does a show get canceledCopy !req
379. this many times?Copy !req
380. By this many networks?Copy !req
381. Bad news, Professor.Copy !req
382. They won't let us make any more episodes.Copy !req
383. That is bad news.Copy !req
384. Especially since I have... good news!Copy !req
385. Kidnap the actors
and get back here at once!Copy !req
386. Fry's down to the very last episode,Copy !req
387. but he still has one slim hope.Copy !req
388. We've got to gradually shift his focusCopy !req
389. from the streaming world
back to the real world.Copy !req
390. - Is that safe?
- God, no!Copy !req
391. While he watches the finale on Fulu,Copy !req
392. you'll simultaneously
perform it live in front of him.Copy !req
393. You're asking me to perform a second take?Copy !req
394. No, no!Copy !req
395. Think of it as live theater for
one unconscious audience member.Copy !req
396. Ah, like the Milwaukee
Shakespeare Festival.Copy !req
397. Exactly!Copy !req
398. And action.Copy !req
399. Easing FryCopy !req
400. back to normal viewing speed.Copy !req
401. Now, we'll gradually decrease the opacityCopy !req
402. of his bingeing goggles.Copy !req
403. Gently... Gently...Copy !req
404. Monique, Boxy,Copy !req
405. the feelings between each
distinct subset of two of usCopy !req
406. are too intense to bear.Copy !req
407. We find ourselves the vertices
of a classic love triangle.Copy !req
408. It's a three-variable equation
with only one solution.Copy !req
409. X equals suicide.Copy !req
410. Does this love triangle
have room for one more vertex?Copy !req
411. Technically, yes,Copy !req
412. though it would then constitute
a love tetrahedron.Copy !req
413. Allow me to illustrate with a model.Copy !req
414. Bringing Fry back to reality in three...Copy !req
415. Two...Copy !req
416. Hey, where'd I put my cigar?Copy !req
417. Zounds!Copy !req
418. Thank you... Milwaukee.Copy !req
419. Somebody other than me do something!Copy !req
420. I'll put out the fire!Copy !req
421. No! That's battery acid!Copy !req
422. - Oops.
- He's dead!Copy !req
423. I killed him by encouraging
his hopes and dreams!Copy !req
424. How could I have been so stupid?Copy !req
425. What up?Copy !req
426. I'm afraid I have bad news, Fry.Copy !req
427. - You're dead.
- I am?Copy !req
428. Fry! You weren't in the suit?Copy !req
429. What? No.Copy !req
430. I got out of that thing,
like, two days ago.Copy !req
431. I decided to catch up on my reading.Copy !req
432. I'm sorry, Leela.Copy !req
433. You must be pretty disappointed in me.Copy !req
434. No. I'm just glad you're okay.Copy !req
435. And I promise
I'll never be supportive again.Copy !req
436. Thanks, Leela.Copy !req
437. You know, I really did try
to achieve my goal.Copy !req
438. I even turned up the playback
to double speed,Copy !req
439. but I just couldn't get through
the last few episodes.Copy !req
440. I mean, they were unwatchable.Copy !req
441. The writing and the executive producingCopy !req
442. really went downhill towards the end.Copy !req
443. Hey, I may not be a great writer,Copy !req
444. but at least I filled
the allotted air time.Copy !req
445. To the second. Fade to black.Copy !req
446. We now go live to the White HouseCopy !req
447. for the presidential summitCopy !req
448. on the dangers of streaming television.Copy !req
449. I understand it's destroying
our young people.Copy !req
450. That is my job!Copy !req
451. Aroo!Copy !req
452. Now, Mr. Fry,Copy !req
453. I understand you recently enduredCopy !req
454. a terrible ordeal
while doing something stupidCopy !req
455. involving streaming television.Copy !req
456. That's right, Your Majesty.Copy !req
457. And what lesson, if any, did you learn?Copy !req
458. Well, first, I guess,Copy !req
459. don't reboot a showCopy !req
460. if the quality isn't gonna be there.Copy !req
461. But, more importantly, let me say this.Copy !req
462. Viewers must binge responsibly.Copy !req
463. The same way they smoke cigarettesCopy !req
464. or drink bleach.Copy !req
465. In my opinion, they must streamCopy !req
466. no more than 10 episodes in a row.Copy !req
467. And no less.Copy !req
468. But it's not just
the viewers' responsibility.Copy !req
469. Any TV show that truly cares
about its audience,Copy !req
470. that loves and respects them, should...Copy !req
471. no... must be canceled every few years.Copy !req
472. It's simply the right thing to do.Copy !req
473. Thank you.Copy !req
474. Sobering thoughts from some
drug-addled weirdo.Copy !req
475. Goodnight, God bless Earth,Copy !req
476. and aroo.Copy !req