1. Oh!Copy !req
2. Hey, guys.
Welcome to my parents'
40th anniversary party.Copy !req
3. I'm bored. Let's drink.Copy !req
4. Wow, what a turnout.Copy !req
5. It's great to see
so many happy smiles,Copy !req
6. most of them on Mouth Mutant.Copy !req
7. Hey-o!Copy !req
8. But let me just say,
for 40 years,Copy !req
9. my beautiful wife Munda
has been by my side,Copy !req
10. even that year my side mutated
into some kind of
venomous radish.Copy !req
11. And, Morris,
I fell in love with your
honesty and humility.Copy !req
12. And those things
never mutated.Copy !req
13. Aw!Copy !req
14. Aw!Copy !req
15. Now, if you'll
direct your attention
to this moldy shower curtain,Copy !req
16. I've prepared a video tribute
to the happy couple.Copy !req
17. In their 40 years together,Copy !req
18. my parents have
been through so much.Copy !req
19. Well, not that much, actually,Copy !req
20. since mutants weren't
allowed to leave
the sewers until last year.Copy !req
21. Like anyone wants
to leave the sewer.
Am I right?Copy !req
22. Shush, Morris.Copy !req
23. So, how did it all begin?Copy !req
24. The unlikely lovebirds
met at Brown University.Copy !req
25. She, a brilliant
exolinguistics major,Copy !req
26. he, a laid-back sewer surferCopy !req
27. who didn't even know
the meaning of
"exolinguistics."Copy !req
28. I still have no idea.Copy !req
29. I've been telling
you for 40 years,Copy !req
30. it's the study of
alien Ianguages.Copy !req
31. Why can't you listen?Copy !req
32. Oh, sugar Iump,Copy !req
33. I hear you when
you actually say
something important.Copy !req
34. But sometimes
opposites attract,Copy !req
35. and like the fairy tale
of face mutant
and butt mutant,Copy !req
36. the love of Munda and Morris
has grown stronger every day.Copy !req
37. "Something important"?Copy !req
38. Exolinguistics
was my passion.Copy !req
39. Until I gave it up to
go into the Iucrative
pot-roast-making field.Copy !req
40. Pot-roast-burning.Copy !req
41. I never got why you studied
that alien junk anyway.Copy !req
42. We can't even see the stars
down here in the sewer.Copy !req
43. Why can't you accept that?Copy !req
44. I did accept it. For 40 years!Copy !req
45. But now we're
free to go up there.Copy !req
46. I could be in space
seeing things I've
only dreamed about,Copy !req
47. if it weren't for you!Copy !req
48. Uh . . .Copy !req
49. Okay, everybody,
thanks for coming.Copy !req
50. I had dreams, too!Copy !req
51. I was going to surf
the world's sewers,Copy !req
52. but I happily gave it
up for you. Happily!Copy !req
53. I just want
a Iittle more
out of life.Copy !req
54. But no, you don't
want to go into space
because you're too afraid.Copy !req
55. You bet I'm afraid.
You want to go? Go!Copy !req
56. Get your head
knocked off by a meteorite.Copy !req
57. Okay, take a deep breath.Copy !req
58. You're having
a Iittle Iovers' quarrel,Copy !req
59. but I'm sure you'll
work everything . . .Copy !req
60. Divorce is final.Copy !req
61. Don't worry.
I'm only going
to stay with youCopy !req
62. until a vacancy
opens up on this floor.Copy !req
63. You know, the rents
are a lot more
reasonable in Peru.Copy !req
64. Come on, Leela,
let's go out.Copy !req
65. After 40 years,
I want to see the world.Copy !req
66. What the heck?
You want to go out?
Let's really go out.Copy !req
67. Dance, slave, dance.Copy !req
68. Well, I lost two straight
hands to the Borax Kid.Copy !req
69. I don't really have
any use for these,Copy !req
70. but you can't have them back.
Ladies.Copy !req
71. Imagine.
Me, a girl
from the sewerCopy !req
72. meeting a man made
entirely of detergent.Copy !req
73. And look over there!Copy !req
74. It's Zapp Brannigan,
the famous space captain.Copy !req
75. Hey, I have an idea.Copy !req
76. Let's look in
a different direction
at something else.Copy !req
77. You go ahead, dear.Copy !req
78. I wonder what
Captain Brannigan's doing
with those Carcarons.Copy !req
79. Now, regarding this
peace treaty, Admiral Chu.Copy !req
80. That's a napkin
dispenser, sir.Copy !req
81. This is
the universal translator.Copy !req
82. Whatever.Copy !req
83. Now, Admiral, in exchange
for your promise
not to attack us,Copy !req
84. we will grant you
exclusive fishing rights
in Supernova Scotia.Copy !req
85. Well, okay.Copy !req
86. Excellent.
We'll meet aboard
my ship in one monthCopy !req
87. to sign
the Treaty of Table Seven.Copy !req
88. Table Seven?Copy !req
89. Now, watch, Kif,
as I score a diplomatic coupeCopy !req
90. by congratulating the Admiral
in his native tongue.Copy !req
91. Last time you tried that,
the Mexican restaurant
declared war on us.Copy !req
92. I beg you,
just use the translator.Copy !req
93. Kif, just trust me for once.Copy !req
94. I'd like
to spank your sister
with a slice of bologna.Copy !req
95. Oops!Copy !req
96. It's the Battle
of Paco's Tacos
all over again.Copy !req
97. Mom, what are you doing?Copy !req
98. What I was trained to do.Copy !req
99. What did you say to them?Copy !req
100. Eh . . . Just that
Captain Brannigan confused
the word for "congratulations"Copy !req
101. with the word
for "spank your
sister with bologna."Copy !req
102. Nicely squawked, madam.Copy !req
103. Leela, you never told
me you had a mother.Copy !req
104. I insist you stay
for a courtesy
thank you drink.Copy !req
105. Mmm!Copy !req
106. Good barium shots.
Expensive, though.Copy !req
107. We can put it on
the corporate card,Copy !req
108. as long as we
discuss business.Copy !req
109. So, yesterday, huh?Copy !req
110. That business happened, right?Copy !req
111. Somebody?Copy !req
112. I'll just
pay for it.Copy !req
113. Well, we should get going.
You guys see
where my mom went?Copy !req
114. I don't know
where most of her is,Copy !req
115. but her tongue's
in Zapp's mouth.Copy !req
116. Whoo!Copy !req
117. Nasty.Copy !req
118. Mom, are you okay?
Did Zapp take
advantage of you?Copy !req
119. Show me where he touched you
on this dried-apple doll.Copy !req
120. Don't be silly.
Zapp's a perfect gentleman.Copy !req
121. And so handsome.Copy !req
122. Did you know he
wears a velour man-skirt?Copy !req
123. Mom,
I hate to break it to you,
but Zapp's a jerk.Copy !req
124. The truth is,Copy !req
125. I once slept with him.
A few times.Copy !req
126. I know. He showed me
the commemorative painting.Copy !req
127. What?Copy !req
128. Look, sweetie, I get it.Copy !req
129. You're jealous because Zapp
Iikes me now and not you.Copy !req
130. But don't worry,
this isn't a competition.Copy !req
131. AIthough he did say
I'm a better kisser.Copy !req
132. I am not jealous.Copy !req
133. Also . . . Yuck!Copy !req
134. Zapp doesn't
care about my mom.Copy !req
135. He's just doing
this to get to me.Copy !req
136. Don't worry, Leela.Copy !req
137. Your mom won't see Zapp much.Copy !req
138. He's in space all the time.Copy !req
139. Guess what, honey.
Zapp hired me as his
personal translator.Copy !req
140. I'll be with him all the time.
In space.Copy !req
141. What? But . . .Copy !req
142. I've never been so happy!Copy !req
143. Hang on, Mom.
I have another call.Copy !req
144. Thank you for coming.Copy !req
145. You know, without your mother,
the sewer's a dank
and dismal place.Copy !req
146. Dad, we need to talk.Copy !req
147. Mom is . . .Copy !req
148. Well, she's seeing
someone else.Copy !req
149. Who is it, Mouth Mutant?Copy !req
150. I ought to punch him
right in his big mouth.Copy !req
151. And then in all
his smaller mouths!Copy !req
152. No, no, listen.Copy !req
153. It's time to get
on with your life.Copy !req
154. But she was my life.Copy !req
155. Aw!Copy !req
156. What?Copy !req
157. Hey, what about
your Iifelong dream?Copy !req
158. Didn't you always want to surf
the world's greatest sewers?Copy !req
159. Yeah, and Fry and
Bender can go with you.Copy !req
160. You can teach
them how to surf,Copy !req
161. and they can make
sure you don't . . .Copy !req
162. I don't know.
Would you come, too, sweetie?Copy !req
163. I can't.
I have to keep
an eye on MomCopy !req
164. to make sure she
and Zapp don't . . .Copy !req
165. Yee-haw!Copy !req
166. You know what?
I'm going to give it a shot.Copy !req
167. Let's go surf
the great sewer waves
of the world!Copy !req
168. Where have you been?Copy !req
169. What?
It's 2:00 in the afternoon.Copy !req
170. Several days Iater.
Look, enough is enough.Copy !req
171. Zapp is a jerk.
I insist you
break up with him.Copy !req
172. Why can't you
just let me be happy?Copy !req
173. After all these years,
I'm going places
I've never been,Copy !req
174. and having sex there.Copy !req
175. You're too old to be happy.Copy !req
176. I'm not too old to
enjoy hot sex with Zapp.Copy !req
177. Ugh!Copy !req
178. Sex with Zapp!Copy !req
179. Sex with Zapp!
Sex with Zapp!Copy !req
180. No, no!Copy !req
181. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I don't think I can
Iive here anymore.Copy !req
182. I'll be back for my
things at 8:00 sharp.Copy !req
183. Sex with Zapp!Copy !req
184. This one is for the E. coli.
Ow!Copy !req
185. And this one's for
the Ieprechaunorrhea.
Hiddly-dee!Copy !req
186. I don't care how
many diseases Fry has.
It was worth it.Copy !req
187. Right on, brah!
I feel free as a bum.Copy !req
188. How can you be so calm, Dad?Copy !req
189. The woman you
love is out thereCopy !req
190. having the time of her life
with Zapp Brannigan,Copy !req
191. and you're not doing
anything to stop it.Copy !req
192. Surfing helped me
chill out, honey.Copy !req
193. When you're down
there riding the waves,Copy !req
194. the wind ripening
in your face,Copy !req
195. everything just
makes sense, dude.Copy !req
196. You mind if I call
you dude, princess?Copy !req
197. Look, I don't want
to put a rat in
your face-cage,Copy !req
198. or whatever you
kids say nowadays,Copy !req
199. but Zapp's using
Mom to get to me,
and I'm going to prove it!Copy !req
200. Kif, I'm bored.
What say you go outCopy !req
201. on the wing and
pretend you're a gremlin?Copy !req
202. Well, if it isn't
my second favorite
Turanga girl.Copy !req
203. Hi, Zapp.
I was wondering
if you'd likeCopy !req
204. to have dinner tonight
with me and my mom.Copy !req
205. You know,
to celebrate your
genuine love for her.Copy !req
206. Sounds good.Copy !req
207. And don't forget
my genuine love
for Parmezian cheese.Copy !req
208. Shall we say about 7:58?
Precisely?Copy !req
209. Nice to see you, Zapp.Copy !req
210. Well, nice to see
a surprising amount
of you, too, Leela.Copy !req
211. Is Munda here?Copy !req
212. Mommy's not home, big boy.Copy !req
213. We both know
you're just using her
to get to me.Copy !req
214. So let's do it
right here by
the front door at 7:59.Copy !req
215. Leela, does your mother know
you're using her pole?Copy !req
216. Come on, I'm all yours!Copy !req
217. Have your way with me
for the next 30 seconds.Copy !req
218. That would be more
than enough time,Copy !req
219. but I can't. I love Munda.Copy !req
220. I love everything about her,
her Iaugh, her maturity,Copy !req
221. the cold, Iifeless touch
of her tentacle on my body.Copy !req
222. She is one juicy calamari.Copy !req
223. Oh, Zapp, I love you, too.Copy !req
224. Oh, squiddums!
I've been thinking
about this for a while,Copy !req
225. and, well, here in front
of your half-naked daughterCopy !req
226. seems like the perfect time.Copy !req
227. Darling will I marry you?Copy !req
228. Of course,
I'll marry you, Zapp.Copy !req
229. I think a motel
room might be in order.Copy !req
230. Leela, here's $40.Copy !req
231. Mom, don't do this.
Zapp is a selfish,
womanizing idiot.Copy !req
232. There's no need to
call me names, Leela.Copy !req
233. Just call me, "Daddy."Copy !req
234. Mom, if you try to marry Zapp,Copy !req
235. I will shove you into
a filthy nursing homeCopy !req
236. so fast you won't
know what hit you.Copy !req
237. Probably, it'll be
a filthy nurse.Copy !req
238. Leela, you're my daughter
and I love you, but cram it!Copy !req
239. Is this a bad time?Copy !req
240. I was riding the EI Torito
dinner backwash,Copy !req
241. and I thought I'd pop in.Copy !req
242. Oh, thank God you're here.Copy !req
243. If we don't do something,
Mom's going to
marry Zapp Brannigan.Copy !req
244. So? He seems
like a nice kahuna.Copy !req
245. Dad, stop being so mellow.Copy !req
246. Leela, honey, chill out.Copy !req
247. You got to take
the good with the gnarly.Copy !req
248. Speaking of which,
time for me to shoot
the IHOP dessert curl.Copy !req
249. Ugh!Copy !req
250. Aw! You sure you won't come
to your mom's wedding?Copy !req
251. There'll be chicken
or fish, circle one.Copy !req
252. I can't.
Not when I believe
with all my heartCopy !req
253. that this marriage
is a mistake.Copy !req
254. I know you're upset
that your parents broke up.Copy !req
255. But what if Zapp
really does make Munda happy?Copy !req
256. What if they're
meant to be together?Copy !req
257. Fry, that's just so . . .
I can't even believe . . .Copy !req
258. You are so totally . . .Copy !req
259. Right. You're right.Copy !req
260. I am? Huh!
Maybe Zapp isn't the only one
who's marriage material.Copy !req
261. You're getting there.Copy !req
262. Leela?Copy !req
263. You look beautiful, Mom.Copy !req
264. Really? I'm not
showing too much sucker
for a Iady my age?Copy !req
265. Just the right amount.
You'll make a Iovely bride.Copy !req
266. Oh, Mom, I'm sorry
I've been so horrible to you.Copy !req
267. You weren't so horrible.
Just enough to show you care.Copy !req
268. At ease, darling.Copy !req
269. Honored guests and Kif,Copy !req
270. one of a captain's
many superpowersCopy !req
271. is the ability to
conduct marriage.Copy !req
272. So I will now join
myself in holy macaroni.Copy !req
273. Kif,
raise the ceremonial mirror.Copy !req
274. Zapp, you magnificent bastard,Copy !req
275. do you take Munda
to be your Iawful . . .Copy !req
276. Alien ships approaching, sir.Copy !req
277. It's the Carcarons!Copy !req
278. Oh, meatballs.
I forgot they were comingCopy !req
279. to sign
the peace treaty today.Copy !req
280. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
281. my blushing translator and I
have business to tend to.Copy !req
282. In the meantime,
enjoy the comic stylings
of Nixon and Agnew.Copy !req
283. Oh, Mr. Agnew?Copy !req
284. Munda, tell the Admiral
that by signing
this peace treaty,Copy !req
285. we will achieve harmony
between our worlds.Copy !req
286. Zapp, honey,
this is the wrong document.Copy !req
287. It's not a peace treaty.
It says they're
declaring war on us.Copy !req
288. Brilliant, isn't I?Copy !req
289. The moment they sign,Copy !req
290. we destroy their fleet
in one glorious burst
of quote-unquote self-defense.Copy !req
291. Up high, Mrs. Brannigan.Copy !req
292. Don't leave me hanging,
Mrs. Brannigan.Copy !req
293. I come from the sewer,
but that is low.Copy !req
294. I'm not going to
translate your Iies.Copy !req
295. Munda, dear, as your captain
and soon-to-be husband,Copy !req
296. I gave you an order.Copy !req
297. Now, let's tell
these vicious IiesCopy !req
298. and get back to
our sacred vows.Copy !req
299. There's not going
to be any wedding.
I don't want your fancy ring.Copy !req
300. Careful! That's glass!Copy !req
301. Leela was right.
You're a lousy man
and a lousy captain.Copy !req
302. And I'm going
to tell our
Carcaron friends the truth.Copy !req
303. Zapp . . . Lying sack of . . .Copy !req
304. Well, this is awkward.
Our Carcaron
friends declared war.Copy !req
305. Then, once again,
my Iies have been proven true.Copy !req
306. We're under attack
and the wedding's off.Copy !req
307. Kif, return fire and the cake.Copy !req
308. Our weapons are disabled,
and you can't return
ice cream cakes!Copy !req
309. We're doomed!Copy !req
310. Stop the wedding!Copy !req
311. Who is that?
Morris?Copy !req
312. I'm not giving up
the love of my life
without a fight.Copy !req
313. Do I know you?Copy !req
314. Dad?
I thought you were all Zen
with Mom getting remarried.Copy !req
315. I was at first.
But then I conquered
my inner peace.Copy !req
316. If you care about something,
you've got to take action.Copy !req
317. Harsh, violent action!Copy !req
318. Kif, get us out of here.Copy !req
319. Navigation is out.
We're sitting ducks.Copy !req
320. Is there
an auxiliary control system?Copy !req
321. Yes, outside on the hull.Copy !req
322. But there are 20
separate control keys.Copy !req
323. No one could work
them well enoughCopy !req
324. to ride out
these energy waves.Copy !req
325. No one?Copy !req
326. It's time to hang 20!Copy !req
327. Morris! What are you doing?Copy !req
328. Hold on to your coconuts.
We're going for
the ride of a Iifetime!Copy !req
329. But I thought
you were terrified
of outer space.Copy !req
330. I was, but then it hit me.Copy !req
331. If heaven's above us,Copy !req
332. then the whole universe
is just God's glorious sewer.Copy !req
333. Hang on, sweetie!Copy !req
334. What do we do?
Who do we blame?Copy !req
335. We don't blame anyone.
We make peace.Copy !req
336. One word can end this.Copy !req
337. Then say it.Copy !req
338. No, you say it.Copy !req
339. This actual peace
treaty is hereby enacted.Copy !req
340. Agnew, give it your
stamp of approval.Copy !req
341. What do you say, sewer plum?
Want to give it another go?Copy !req
342. Well, I am still
in my wedding dress.
And we still have a cake.Copy !req
343. Uh . . . Half a cake.Copy !req
344. Very well. Morris, Munda,Copy !req
345. I now pronounce
you man and wife.Copy !req
346. May I kiss the bride?Copy !req
347. Congratulations.Copy !req