1. Oh, my hair!Copy !req
2. Lot of weather we're having.Copy !req
3. Allow me, my Iady.Copy !req
4. Shall we go a-trousering?Copy !req
5. Fry, I appreciate
the gallantry, but
isn't this a bit much?Copy !req
6. You're right. I'm sorry
for showing my love.Copy !req
7. Okay. Fine.Copy !req
8. Here, take my hand.Copy !req
9. News and weather, everyone.Copy !req
10. I'm sure you've all noticed
the bizarre atmospheric
conditions of late.Copy !req
11. Come to mention it, yes.Copy !req
12. It seems
something ain't right
in the magnetosphere,Copy !req
13. so I'm Iaunching
this high-altitudeCopy !req
14. weather balloon
to gather more data.Copy !req
15. My pants!
My Iucky pants!Copy !req
16. They don't look
so Iucky to me.Copy !req
17. They are, too!Copy !req
18. I was wearing them that time
I found a dime in my ear.Copy !req
19. I was wearing them
when I won
a subscription to Redbook.Copy !req
20. And I was wearing them
when I first met Leela,
so yeah, they're Iucky.Copy !req
21. Aw!Copy !req
22. Also . . . Oh, Lord.Copy !req
23. Plus, they're my only pants.Copy !req
24. You've worn the same pants
for 1,000 years?Copy !req
25. No wonder
they made a run for it.Copy !req
26. Whoo!Copy !req
27. Soon your trousers
will slip the
surly bonds of EarthCopy !req
28. and ascend
to the heavens.Copy !req
29. I'm gonna blast that balloon!Copy !req
30. No way will I let
God get my pants!Copy !req
31. Nobody messes
with my pants!Copy !req
32. Not even the Holy One,
blessed be He.Copy !req
33. Look out!
A Central Park badger!Copy !req
34. I'll save you, pants!Copy !req
35. Scruffy, do you have
any varmint grease?Copy !req
36. What viscosity you need?Copy !req
37. Whoa, there's writing in here!Copy !req
38. Also,
this grease is flammable.Copy !req
39. Incredible!
Who could have done this,
the sewer mutants?Copy !req
40. No, this isn't
mutant Ianguage.Copy !req
41. We use a lot more profanity.
Son of a . . .Copy !req
42. Leela, take my hand!Copy !req
43. I'm slipping!Copy !req
44. The one time your
hands aren't sticky,
they're greasy!Copy !req
45. Oh, sorry. Normally
I would've wiped them
on my pants, but . . .Copy !req
46. Are you okay?
I . . . Ow!Copy !req
47. My Ieg, it's broken.Copy !req
48. How'd you get down here?Copy !req
49. We made a rope from
my shirt and jacketCopy !req
50. and an expedition flag
from my underpants.Copy !req
51. I'll help you up.
Here, take my hand.Copy !req
52. Stop telling me
to take your hand.Copy !req
53. Look, Fry,
your noble gestures
keep making things worse.Copy !req
54. Can't you just be a rude,
unhelpful jerk like Bender?Copy !req
55. When I use up
the toilet paper,
I don't put on a new roll.Copy !req
56. Fry, my friend,
I found your pants.Copy !req
57. And no sign of
that crafty badger.Copy !req
58. All right! Lucky pants!Copy !req
59. Oh, my God! Look
what my flashlight found!Copy !req
60. DR.A huge pyramid
under New New York?Copy !req
61. What badger
could've built this?Copy !req
62. And look at this
intricately carved disk.Copy !req
63. It merits years of study.Copy !req
64. But how can we move
such a fragile, precious . . .Copy !req
65. Ancient history
coming through!Copy !req
66. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
67. Amazing!Copy !req
68. It appears to be
some kind of extremely
ancient calendar,Copy !req
69. predating even
the Girls of Sumeria.Copy !req
70. Of course.
It's a Mayan calendar.Copy !req
71. No, wait.
There's some dried-up
old stew on the screen.Copy !req
72. Sorry. I was eating
a can of breakfast
and Iooking at porn.Copy !req
73. It's not Mayan,
it's Martian!Copy !req
74. Amy, you grew up
on Mars, right?Copy !req
75. Can you read Martian?
A Iittle.Copy !req
76. I only learned enough
to yell at my nanny.
Let's see.Copy !req
77. I think it means,
"The sun will erupt,Copy !req
78. "all shall perish,"
blah-blah-blah.Copy !req
79. Get to the point!
What does it say
about me, Bender?Copy !req
80. Nothing!
But it does say
a great cataclysmCopy !req
81. will destroy the world
in the year 3012!Copy !req
82. The world?
That's where I Iive!Copy !req
83. Told you it'd say
something about me.Copy !req
84. So the world
will end in 3012.Copy !req
85. Why does that year
sound so familiar?Copy !req
86. Because that's the year
that's this year! See?Copy !req
87. So, you all done
with the computer?Copy !req
88. Is it just me,
or is the world ending
more often these days?Copy !req
89. The calendar predicts
fires, earthquakes,Copy !req
90. sharksplosions,
then it just ends!Copy !req
91. Exactly as the
weather balloon foretold.Copy !req
92. Before Fry blew his
pants out of the sky,Copy !req
93. it detected the onset of
a catastrophic sunspot cycle.Copy !req
94. It's starting.
This is the end of the world.Copy !req
95. Coward Man away!Copy !req
96. Some of us were crazy
before it was cool.Copy !req
97. Evacuating the planet
in three, two . . .Copy !req
98. So long, Earth.
Thanks for nothing.Copy !req
99. It's not starting.Copy !req
100. Come ons, comes on!Copy !req
101. Let me try,
Headless CIone of Agnew.Copy !req
102. Damn thing
just won't turn over.Copy !req
103. It's like Pat
on a Sunday morning.Copy !req
104. Oh, the Marconi
is on the fritz, too!Copy !req
105. The electromagnetic storm
is disabling all
electronics on Earth.Copy !req
106. Hi, there.Copy !req
107. Well, it wasn't a bad life.Copy !req
108. If only I could get back
that time I spent
watching TRON: Legacy.Copy !req
109. Leela,
I've made up my mind.Copy !req
110. Before we die,
I'm gonna find and destroyCopy !req
111. every remaining copy
of TRON: Legacy.Copy !req
112. It may take
a couple of hours, but . . .Copy !req
113. Fry, stop trying
to do things for me.Copy !req
114. Whatever time we have left,
just Iive it with me.Copy !req
115. So, you want to
join the Balcony CIub?Copy !req
116. The Balcony CIub?
I have an
individual membership.Copy !req
117. Zoidberg, get lost.
I am lost. So long.Copy !req
118. Stop the end-of-the-world sex.
We might survive after all.Copy !req
119. All right, Amy,
what's so importantCopy !req
120. that you interrupted
my embalming?Copy !req
121. I translated more
Martian symbols.Copy !req
122. There's a way
off this planet.Copy !req
123. That underground pyramid
isn't a pyramid,Copy !req
124. it's a rocket ship!Copy !req
125. It was worth
waiting five hoursCopy !req
126. to hear you
finish that sentence.Copy !req
127. A spaceship made of stone?
With no electronics,
it just might work!Copy !req
128. I'll stick with
wind-up power,
thank you very much.Copy !req
129. Hmm.
I've never flown
a pyramid before,Copy !req
130. but I used to
drive around town
in a mausoleum.Copy !req
131. How many people
can this thing carry?Copy !req
132. Well, the mausoleum held
10 horny teenagers, so . . .Copy !req
133. Maybe 30,000.Copy !req
134. It's our moral duty
to save as many
Iives as possible.Copy !req
135. They had their chance.
Let's go!Copy !req
136. Mind if I appear?Copy !req
137. Welcome to the Hidey House.Copy !req
138. Brannigan, tell me about this
freaky-deaky escape pyramid.Copy !req
139. I can fly it, sir.
I just need to know
where, and how.Copy !req
140. The obvious
destination is Mars.Copy !req
141. It's close,
with Iots of open space
and no Woodward or Bernstein.Copy !req
142. That's a plus.Copy !req
143. But we can only
save 30,000 people.
How do we choose who goes?Copy !req
144. Well, let's see now.
We'll need Ieaders,Copy !req
145. scientists, doctors,
bureaucrats, pilots,Copy !req
146. valuable appliances,
even janitors.Copy !req
147. But that's it.
No one else.Copy !req
148. I'll miss you, Leela.Copy !req
149. But it's okay,
'cause then I'll die.Copy !req
150. Cut the
waterworks, hippie!Copy !req
151. The final decision
will be made not by me,Copy !req
152. but by a cold,
Iogical machine.Copy !req
153. Who shall live
and who shall die?Copy !req
154. Step right up to the
contrabulous choose-matron!Copy !req
155. I hate
waiting in line to die.Copy !req
156. Move it along, grandma.Copy !req
157. Stick your hand in
and take your chances.Copy !req
158. Female,
crotchety. Needed to
keep others in their place.Copy !req
159. Accepted!Copy !req
160. Damn straight, kajigger!Copy !req
161. Ooh, me next!Copy !req
162. We just got one of these.
Rejected!Copy !req
163. Male, scientist,
fond of crazy contraptions.Copy !req
164. Accepted!Copy !req
165. Female, scientist.
We were in the same sorority.Copy !req
166. Accepted!Copy !req
167. Sigma Beta, see you Iater!
Sigma Beta, see you later!Copy !req
168. Male, medical doctor,
delicious with
butter and lemon.Copy !req
169. Accepted!Copy !req
170. I wish they'd hurry.Copy !req
171. I want to get out of here
before the mayhem starts.Copy !req
172. Mayhem?
There's gonna be mayhem?Copy !req
173. I'm staying.Copy !req
174. Hoo-ee!Copy !req
175. Well, might as well
get it over with.Copy !req
176. Delivery boy,
no discernible skills.Copy !req
177. Accepted!Copy !req
178. 'Cause I like his pants.Copy !req
179. Yes! My Iucky pants!Copy !req
180. Leela, we can go together
after all. Come on.Copy !req
181. Get your badge.
Take my hand.Copy !req
182. Top gun pilot,
natural Ieader,
extreme combat training.Copy !req
183. - Rejected!Copy !req
184. What?Copy !req
185. With all
spaceships inoperable,Copy !req
186. we only need one
spaceship pilot.Copy !req
187. Wonder what this
doo-cracky does?Copy !req
188. Snake door. Roger.Copy !req
189. You can't reject Leela!
Give her a badge,
you stupid box!Copy !req
190. Male, filthy hand,
violent temper.Copy !req
191. Accepted again!Copy !req
192. No!Copy !req
193. Fry, the box has spoken.
Go to Mars.Copy !req
194. Okay.Copy !req
195. Will you at least
keep this photo?Copy !req
196. Remember how Bender dumped
all that pig's blood on me?Copy !req
197. You keep it.
I'll remember you in here.Copy !req
198. I wish I could
remember with my boobs.Copy !req
199. Leela, we're off to Mars.Copy !req
200. We'll see ourselves out.Copy !req
201. Wait, I did it.
I got Leela a ticket.Copy !req
202. How did you do that?Copy !req
203. Ah-ah-ah. A magician never
reveals his secrets.
Except the Great Reveal-o.Copy !req
204. That guy stinks.Copy !req
205. I still don't see why
you get the window seat.Copy !req
206. Folks, this is your captain.
Our snake tanks
are fully Ioaded,Copy !req
207. so once I figure out
which button launches this...Copy !req
208. I figured it out!Copy !req
209. Don't come back!Copy !req
210. Well, let's get Iooting!Copy !req
211. Fry,
this is the most noble thing
anyone has ever done for me.Copy !req
212. Wait, Fry?Copy !req
213. I'm a lot of people,
but I'm not Fry.Copy !req
214. Oh, no!Copy !req
215. Welcome to Mars!Copy !req
216. It is with heavy heart
and open armsCopy !req
217. that we receive
Earth's only survivors.Copy !req
218. Admission, $20.Copy !req
219. Dad! GIeesh.Copy !req
220. Greetings, Mars men.Copy !req
221. We come to your planet
to construct a gleaming city,Copy !req
222. a second Earth on
which to begin anew.Copy !req
223. Okay. Admission, $20.Copy !req
224. I can't believe it.
Fry sacrificed
his spot for me,Copy !req
225. and I never even had
a chance to thank him.Copy !req
226. Don't worry, Leela.
Earth is still there,
peaceful and serene as ever.Copy !req
227. Bender! You're stealing
your own stuff!Copy !req
228. I am?
Geez, I better slow down.Copy !req
229. I'm stealing stuff
I don't even need.Copy !req
230. You want a Torah?
Nah, I'm not hungry.Copy !req
231. Aw, what's the matter?
Scared of dying?Copy !req
232. No. 'Cause as
long as Leela Iives,Copy !req
233. I'll be alive, too,
in her heart.Copy !req
234. But really I'll be dead.Copy !req
235. Ladies and gentlemen,
our new Martian city
is complete.Copy !req
236. I give you Dickfrancisco!Copy !req
237. The doves didn't magically
spring from my hand,Copy !req
238. but rather were crammed
into this netting
sewn into my sleeve!Copy !req
239. Thank you, Great Reveal-o.Copy !req
240. And now,
as a solemn testicleCopy !req
241. to those
left behind on Earth,Copy !req
242. I present this monument,
titled simply, "Heroes."Copy !req
243. That frightened Iittle
girl in the statue
reminds me of Fry.Copy !req
244. Stop the ceremony.Copy !req
245. Who is this
non-Washington redskin?Copy !req
246. I am Singing Wind,
chief of the native
Martian tribe.Copy !req
247. But I thought your people
abandoned this planet.Copy !req
248. We did. I just
came back for my stuff.Copy !req
249. What're you guys
doing here?
FIeeing Earth, of course.Copy !req
250. We flew here in your
great stone pyramid.Copy !req
251. Seriously?
That thing flies?Copy !req
252. Of course.
Your people left it
so we could escape.Copy !req
253. I translated your warning
that the world was doomed.Copy !req
254. Not your world. Our world.Copy !req
255. We put calendar there
to warn you not to visit Mars.Copy !req
256. It Mars that
gonna be destroyed.Copy !req
257. Why you think we so eager
to abandon this dump?Copy !req
258. You guys got 10,
15 minutes max.
Well, so long.Copy !req
259. Hey, Ancient Martian's
a very hard Ianguage.Copy !req
260. A . . .Copy !req
261. looks just like a . . .Copy !req
262. To the spaceship!
There is no spaceship.Copy !req
263. You had it dismantled
to build that statue.Copy !req
264. To the statue.Copy !req
265. Oh, what an idiot I was.
And by "I", I mean "you."Copy !req
266. The final solar flare
is going to bypass Earth
and strike Mars.Copy !req
267. My God, one of the
hundreds of contradictory
prophecies is coming true.Copy !req
268. I should've known better
than to trustCopy !req
269. one of Fry's
romantic gestures.Copy !req
270. Every time he says
he loves me, I get killed.Copy !req
271. It's just as I only
now began to fear.Copy !req
272. The solar flares
are igniting
subsurface gas pockets.Copy !req
273. Mars is being blasted
out of its orbit.Copy !req
274. Fry, you noble idiot.Copy !req
275. You're right, Bender,
grave robbing is fun.Copy !req
276. And these piña skulladas
are fantastic.Copy !req
277. The crazy weather
cleared up, too,
for whatever reason.Copy !req
278. All in all,
it's a fine day
for an apocalypse.Copy !req
279. So you don't miss
what's-her-name?Copy !req
280. Of course I do.Copy !req
281. But even though
we're millions of miles apart,Copy !req
282. somehow, I feel
she's near me.Copy !req
283. Very near!Copy !req
284. Oh no!
The kajigger of Gibraltar!Copy !req
285. I have got to quit drinking.Copy !req
286. Thanks, friend!Copy !req
287. Another great thing was
she always
had room for dessert.Copy !req
288. We're passing
surprisingly
close to Earth!Copy !req
289. When we reach
72nd Street, jump!Copy !req
290. Ah!Copy !req
291. Cushiony.Copy !req
292. We made it.
We're back home.Copy !req
293. Okay, today is
still a workday, so . . .Copy !req
294. Wait! Help!Copy !req
295. I'm still on Mars,
and I can't jump!Copy !req
296. Hang on, Leela!
I'll save you again!Copy !req
297. Or somebody else could do it!Copy !req
298. Quick, take my hand.Copy !req
299. I don't know.
Bad things happen
when you say that.Copy !req
300. I got her!
Ow!Copy !req
301. Oops!Copy !req
302. Try again!
We're too far apart.Copy !req
303. No, we're not.
Grab your severed arm
with your other arm.Copy !req
304. Ew . . .Copy !req
305. Okay.Copy !req
306. Hurray!Copy !req
307. Good thing
Scruffy rescued Leela.Copy !req
308. Don't thank me,
thank the Iadder.Copy !req
309. Your cloned arms
should be fully grown
in a month or so.Copy !req
310. But for right now,
enjoy the soundsCopy !req
311. of the world's
smallest violin.Copy !req
312. I hope you're not
too mad at me, Leela,Copy !req
313. for tearing
your arm off and all.Copy !req
314. I can't be mad.
I'm on way too
many painkillers.Copy !req
315. Plus, you were willing
to sacrifice
yourself so I could Iive.Copy !req
316. I mean,
you failed, miserably,Copy !req
317. but you're the only person
who loves me enough to try.Copy !req
318. One last foolish gesture?Copy !req
319. Uh . . .Copy !req