1. Planet Express crew, report to
headquarters immediately!Copy !req
2. Repeat, what I just said,
immediately!Copy !req
3. Sorry, Randy.
Ah!Copy !req
4. Step away from the car,
and no one gets hurt!Copy !req
5. To the employment cave!Copy !req
6. Thanks, dear.
Off to work.Copy !req
7. Whoa, whoa, there, girl.Copy !req
8. Go on, now!
Get on back to Paraguay!Copy !req
9. We're being eaten
by a giant spider!Copy !req
10. There's no time for that!
The Professor needs us!Copy !req
11. Crew, as you know,Copy !req
12. I've delivered a lot of
good news in the past.Copy !req
13. But what I'm about
to Iay down is by far
the greatest announcementCopy !req
14. in the history
of PIanet Express!Copy !req
15. What is it?
I'm on the edge of my butt.Copy !req
16. Ladies and gentlemen,
feast your eyes
on our amazing newCopy !req
17. soda machine!Copy !req
18. That's what
I'm talking about!Copy !req
19. You undersold it, Professor!Copy !req
20. Look, it has SIurm Loco!
It's the extreme-iest!Copy !req
21. Hey, what can I get y'all?Copy !req
22. Wow, you can talk?
Shut up and
give me a SIurm Loco.Copy !req
23. Ooh! ooh!Copy !req
24. Hey, drink machine,
what kind of
alcoholic sodas you got?Copy !req
25. Y'all can't drink at work!
This ain't a sawmill!Copy !req
26. No alcohol?Copy !req
27. And you got the nerve
to call yourself
a beverage machine?Copy !req
28. I call myself Bev.Copy !req
29. And if you're Iooking for
a smelly old can of booze,Copy !req
30. go look in the mirror.Copy !req
31. Oh, snap.
Ooh . . .Copy !req
32. No, no, everybody calm down.Copy !req
33. Yeah, I need one more SIurm.Copy !req
34. And one more to wash that
SIurm taste out of my mouth.Copy !req
35. So I went to the bathroom,
and my pee was green.
Pretty neat, huh?Copy !req
36. I was wondering who
Shrekked in the toilet.Copy !req
37. I hope you're
proud of yourself, Bev.Copy !req
38. You've turned this
perfectly worthless loser
into an addict.Copy !req
39. Cut me some
slack, preacher.Copy !req
40. I'm just a coal
grinder's daughter
trying to stay off the pole.Copy !req
41. With that big old caboose,
it'd have to be
a telephone pole!Copy !req
42. Hey-o!Copy !req
43. Well, I guess
a fellow's got to talk bigCopy !req
44. when he's sporting
a Iittle shrivelled up
antenna like that.Copy !req
45. What?Copy !req
46. For your information, "Madam,"
it's a grower, not a shower!Copy !req
47. My antenna's fine.
It's just fine.Copy !req
48. Ladies can't get
enough Bender.Copy !req
49. I need to Ioosen up.
Give me a screwdriver.Copy !req
50. Hello. Who's your
hot, dumb friend?Copy !req
51. Me?
Me?Copy !req
52. Sure, why not.Copy !req
53. Hang on.
It's too bright in here.Copy !req
54. Call me old-fashioned,
but I like a Iittle
romance in an orgy.Copy !req
55. Let me switch off
this weird Iight.Copy !req
56. Ow!Copy !req
57. Fry, it's 2:00 a.m.Copy !req
58. What are you doing here
glowing on my skanks?Copy !req
59. Just sitting here
turning quarters into urine.Copy !req
60. We don't got to
put up with this.Copy !req
61. We got Poli Sci degrees.Copy !req
62. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on.Copy !req
63. I'll just politely
escort him to the gutter.Copy !req
64. Scram, shiny!Copy !req
65. All right,
how we feeling?Copy !req
66. Hot. I could bake
a potato in my cleavage.Copy !req
67. Yeah, I need a seltzer.Copy !req
68. I'd be honored
to purchase you
some refreshment.Copy !req
69. Hey, drink machine,
you got anythingCopy !req
70. classy for these
delicate flowers?Copy !req
71. I ain't making drinks
for no trashy robo-sluts.Copy !req
72. Trashy? At least
I don't put out for quarters.Copy !req
73. Hey!Copy !req
74. Hey. Stop that,
drink machine.Copy !req
75. Stop it, I say.Copy !req
76. That's it, we're out of here.Copy !req
77. Come on.
We'll split a blintz.Copy !req
78. Wait, give me a chance
to defend your honorCopy !req
79. and then sully it
on the couch.Copy !req
80. All right, I've been
waiting all day for
an excuse to hit a Iady.Copy !req
81. You try it,
and I'll bash your face in.Copy !req
82. Ooh, I'm so scared,
No-Arms.Copy !req
83. You want some of this?Copy !req
84. Interesting.
Hmm.Copy !req
85. Uh, Fry? You're glowing
like the Human Torch
on prom night.Copy !req
86. Shouldn't you be standing
on a rocky coast somewhere
preventing shipwrecks?Copy !req
87. Nice, hate me because
of the brightness of my skin.Copy !req
88. You okay, ma'am?
I think your soda water broke.Copy !req
89. My God! Bev just had
a baby in my cup!Copy !req
90. I know, right?Copy !req
91. I better take that.Copy !req
92. Aw!Copy !req
93. He's so cute.
Wait. No, he isn't.Copy !req
94. He looks like Bender!Copy !req
95. Oh, no, no, no.
No way am I that kid's dad!Copy !req
96. Wipe my tiny metal ass!Copy !req
97. Aw, crap.Copy !req
98. Mama, thirsty.Copy !req
99. Hang on, dumpling.
My milk's coming in.Copy !req
100. Ugh!Copy !req
101. In public?Copy !req
102. Aw, biscuits!
I'm a father?Copy !req
103. How did this happen?Copy !req
104. Does this ring a bell?Copy !req
105. Are you telling me
the stuff we did in private,Copy !req
106. and also twice
on the sidewalk,
made a baby robot? How?Copy !req
107. Aw, Bender,
didn't your mom ever tell you
where robot babies come from?Copy !req
108. No. She was
a religious fundamentalist.Copy !req
109. Plus she didn't have a mouth.
It's an unusual combination.Copy !req
110. Come on, everyone,
let's take Bender
to the teen centerCopy !req
111. to Iearn about
the bots and the bees!Copy !req
112. It's okay, Bender.Copy !req
113. No one here will
Iaugh at you
for not knowingCopy !req
114. where robot babies
come from.Copy !req
115. Aw . . .Copy !req
116. We don't know, either.Copy !req
117. Then prepare
to be embarrassed.Copy !req
118. Or...Copy !req
119. Meet Gerald,
a maturing young robot.Copy !req
120. Hey, he looks like me!Copy !req
121. His hideous
appearance is a by-productCopy !req
122. of his hardware gearing up
for an important mission,Copy !req
123. reproduction.Copy !req
124. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!Copy !req
125. Since factories
can't manufacture
enough robotsCopy !req
126. to meet demand, robots
can also reproduce by mating.Copy !req
127. Oh, now you tell me!Copy !req
128. First, Gerald
must find a female robot.Copy !req
129. The best he can
do is Francine.Copy !req
130. After beer and hot wings
at a local gas station,Copy !req
131. the two enjoy intimate time
behind a dumpster.Copy !req
132. It's all perfectly natural.Copy !req
133. Let's watch, aroused,
as Gerald's antenna uploadsCopy !req
134. a binary file to
Francine's internal drive.Copy !req
135. Manufacturing specs from
each parent are then mergedCopy !req
136. by a randomized algorithm,Copy !req
137. and the resulting code
guides assembly
of a new robot.Copy !req
138. Yes, everything your body does
is perfectly natural.Copy !req
139. Except masturbation.
That's just wrong.Copy !req
140. Oh!Copy !req
141. I can't believe
I made a kid!Copy !req
142. I'm not ready!Copy !req
143. There's so much
of the world
I haven't stolen yet!Copy !req
144. Relax, Bender.
No one would
let you near a child.Copy !req
145. Bev will get custody,
and you'll be
a deadbeat dadCopy !req
146. who never even bothers
to know his own son.Copy !req
147. You really think so?Copy !req
148. I know so. You're absolutely
horrible in every way.Copy !req
149. You're sweet, Leela.Copy !req
150. Sorry, Bev,
but I ain't cut out
for fatherhood.Copy !req
151. So here's my
certificate of abandonment
drawn up by our notary.Copy !req
152. That'll be 10 bucks.Copy !req
153. Now take your kid
and hit the soup line!Copy !req
154. Oh, no,
you don't, mister!Copy !req
155. Damn baby's driving me crazy!Copy !req
156. He won't stop giggling
no matter how much
I scream at him!Copy !req
157. There, there.Copy !req
158. I still got womanly needs!Copy !req
159. Who's gonna look
twice at me with thisCopy !req
160. dirty Ieech hanging
off my dairy nozzle?Copy !req
161. Not me, that's for sure.Copy !req
162. Then it's settled!
He's all yours, Pappy!Copy !req
163. Hey, wait!
You can't leave . . . What?Copy !req
164. What the . . .Copy !req
165. Can't I have
one moment to myself?Copy !req
166. Why can't you sleep?Copy !req
167. I left my window open,
and moths got in.Copy !req
168. I swear, if I wasn't
such a great dad,Copy !req
169. I'd grab his
ugly Iittle neck and . . .Copy !req
170. Hey, he stopped
screaming for a second!Copy !req
171. Bend some other stuff!Copy !req
172. Bend! Bend!Copy !req
173. He loves bending,
just like me.Copy !req
174. Aw!Copy !req
175. I'm gonna call him Ben
after the first
half of me, Bender.Copy !req
176. That's my bastard.Copy !req
177. Bend it, Daddy!
Bend it like it
called you poo-poo-face!Copy !req
178. It called me what?Copy !req
179. Yay! You bended it
like a pretzel.Copy !req
180. Okay, now you.Copy !req
181. I can't do it!Copy !req
182. Hey, buddy, you're Iearning.
You'll get there.Copy !req
183. Bender, I was wrong.Copy !req
184. You're a fine parent,
and I want to . . .Copy !req
185. Leela was wrong!
Leela was wrong!Copy !req
186. Daddy, how'd you get
so good at bending?Copy !req
187. I inherited my
arm control software
from my mom.Copy !req
188. That's how it's passed down,
mother to son.Copy !req
189. But my mommy had no arms!Copy !req
190. Does that mean
I can never be a bender?Copy !req
191. Well, sure you can!
You just needCopy !req
192. to get a
bending card installed.Copy !req
193. I hate to crush
a boy's dreams,
but what the heck.Copy !req
194. He has only one
expansion slot,
and it holds his memory card.Copy !req
195. This robot will never bend.Copy !req
196. Don't tell my son
what he can and can't do!Copy !req
197. You may know
what's in his head,Copy !req
198. but you don't know
what's in his heart!Copy !req
199. There's no slot
in there, either.Copy !req
200. I said shut up!Copy !req
201. Today marks young Ben's
13th day of being
left on continuously.Copy !req
202. And so, before the Lord
and this congregation,Copy !req
203. we upgrade him to man-bot.
Can I get a mazel tov?Copy !req
204. Mazel tov!Copy !req
205. Mazel tov!Copy !req
206. I'd like to thank
the preacher-bot
for the introductionCopy !req
207. and also for not
circumcising me again,
am I right?Copy !req
208. Twice was enough.
But seriously, today,
I'm not just a man-bot,Copy !req
209. I'm the Iuckiest
man-bot alive.Copy !req
210. My mom may have
abandoned me,Copy !req
211. but I have the greatest dad
in the whole universe.Copy !req
212. He's patient,
he's not afraid to
show his emotions . . .Copy !req
213. Don't look at me!Copy !req
214. . . . and someday,
if my dreams come true,Copy !req
215. I'll be a bender,
just like him.Copy !req
216. You must be
so proud of your boy.Copy !req
217. I could take him
or leave him.Copy !req
218. I'm back for my son!Copy !req
219. I've come to take him
and leave with him!Copy !req
220. She beat you
to both things!Copy !req
221. It's okay, Son,
Mama's here now.Copy !req
222. Daddy!
Don't let her take me!Copy !req
223. Get your Iack of
hands off my boy!Copy !req
224. You're an unfit parent
who abandoned her child!Copy !req
225. Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm still less
unfitter than you.Copy !req
226. Says who?Copy !req
227. Says this document
you gave me when you
tried to abandon Ben first!Copy !req
228. It's genuine.Copy !req
229. That doesn't prove
I'm an unfit parent!Copy !req
230. I was drunk and violent
when I signed that!Copy !req
231. Well, I'm drunk
and violent now.
He's coming with me!Copy !req
232. Daddy!Copy !req
233. Son!Copy !req
234. My boy's gone.
All I have left
to remember himCopy !req
235. are these innocent playthings
we stole together.Copy !req
236. Fry, put these
someplace safe.Copy !req
237. That's it, Fry!
For a guy who's
not too bright,Copy !req
238. you're too damn bright!Copy !req
239. Now, get out!
And don't come backCopy !req
240. until someone finds a use
for a million-watt idiot!Copy !req
241. Mom, will I ever
get to see Dad again?Copy !req
242. No, he died yesterday.
Rust monsters ate his face.Copy !req
243. Sweet dreams!Copy !req
244. Psst!Copy !req
245. Quit whimpering
or you don't get kidnapped.Copy !req
246. Dad!Copy !req
247. Ah!Copy !req
248. Come on.
Let's run for it.Copy !req
249. What's going to
happen to us now, Dad?Copy !req
250. Well, I reckon
we'll just sit around
this campfire a while.Copy !req
251. But then what?Copy !req
252. Only a fool plans more than
a few centuries ahead, Son.Copy !req
253. Freeze, tin woodsman!Copy !req
254. You're under
arrest for kidnappingCopy !req
255. and burning raccoons
without a permit!Copy !req
256. It's over, Dad.Copy !req
257. It ain't over!Copy !req
258. I can't outrun a hovercopter,
but I can out-bend it!Copy !req
259. I know!
Let's outrun it!Copy !req
260. There's a dam!
Damn!Copy !req
261. There's a grate!Copy !req
262. Great!
But I can't bend anythingCopy !req
263. with my arms agonizingly
maimed like this.Copy !req
264. Well, maybe I can!Copy !req
265. You can do it, Son.Copy !req
266. Yeah, this ain't
gonna happen.Copy !req
267. Is that even necessary?Copy !req
268. I'm sorry, Daddy.Copy !req
269. You got nothing
to be sorry about.Copy !req
270. He's really
a very good father.Copy !req
271. All right,
I got her statement.
And a straight up grape soda.Copy !req
272. Aw, yeah.Copy !req
273. I promise things
will be different, Son.Copy !req
274. From now on,
I'm chaining you
to a radiator.Copy !req
275. I'm amazed
someone who dispenses
such warm sodaCopy !req
276. could be so coldhearted!Copy !req
277. I'm gonna buy a drink
just so I can
throw it in your face!Copy !req
278. It's another soda baby!Copy !req
279. Damn.Copy !req
280. You got knocked up
by a police officerCopy !req
281. while he was Iooking
for your kidnapped child?Copy !req
282. Sure did! I still got it.Copy !req
283. So, now what happens?Copy !req
284. Tell you what,
you keep the big one.Copy !req
285. Long as I got a baby
to neglect, I'm happy.Copy !req
286. Should we call
child services?Copy !req
287. No, let's just
get outta here.Copy !req
288. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
289. Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
290. Whoo?Copy !req
291. Sorry, Dad.Copy !req
292. I'm glad to be back.Copy !req
293. I'm just kind of bummed
I can't bend stuff.Copy !req
294. All I ever wanted
was to go to Bending
State-Santa Cruz.Copy !req
295. But that's never
gonna happen.Copy !req
296. Listen,
you need something bent,
you come to me, huh, champ?Copy !req
297. Damn it, I love that
Iittle guy so much!Copy !req
298. I'd sacrifice
any four of youCopy !req
299. if it would help him
bend even a Iittle!Copy !req
300. There is one way,
but no,
it's too horrible.Copy !req
301. Nothing's too horrible
for my boy!Copy !req
302. Well, I could
install a bending card.Copy !req
303. But you said
he only has one slot!Copy !req
304. Correct. I'd have to
remove his memory card.Copy !req
305. He'd be able to bend,
but he'd lose
all his memories.Copy !req
306. He wouldn't even
remember who you are.Copy !req
307. You sure you want
to be a bender, Son?Copy !req
308. More than anything.Copy !req
309. Just remember,
your daddy loves you.Copy !req
310. Remember that,
will you, Son?
Remember that.Copy !req
311. Dad, are you crying?Copy !req
312. No! I said with the mouth
you're Iooking at.Copy !req
313. You sure take
after your old man!Copy !req
314. I never knew my father.Copy !req
315. It's not important.Copy !req
316. What is important
is that we get youCopy !req
317. to Bending State-Santa Cruz
in time for registration.Copy !req
318. Then we'd better hurry.
Registration ends in one hour.Copy !req
319. To the ship!Copy !req
320. It's too foggy.Copy !req
321. We can't navigate
through this storm.Copy !req
322. Our Iights
aren't bright enough.Copy !req
323. I'm sorry
I let you down, Son.Copy !req
324. Who are you again?Copy !req
325. It's just
not possible to get you
to bending school this year.Copy !req
326. Or is there?Copy !req
327. All right, Fry!Copy !req
328. Merry college
registration day, everyone!Copy !req