1. Cash, cash,
cash for your bones!Copy !req
2. Too many bones?
Not enough cash?
Call Cash Bone!Copy !req
3. Ribs, skulls, spines,
even certain tiny ear bones.Copy !req
4. The leg bone's
connected to
the Cash Bone!Copy !req
5. Aw! Nibbler made
a bobo for Mama.Copy !req
6. I'll pick it up with my
supey-dupey poopy scoopy.Copy !req
7. Core magnetic field,
31 microteslas.Copy !req
8. Nice.Copy !req
9. Temperature? Whoa!Copy !req
10. The magma P. I.
Is 10,000 degrees
Selleck!Copy !req
11. Leela, I am
collecting data.Copy !req
12. Could you dump that
somewhere else?Copy !req
13. Not really.
It's highly volatile
dark matter and some corn.Copy !req
14. But I'm presenting
my thesis tomorrow,Copy !req
15. and I've barely
had time to prepare.Copy !req
16. Nonsense.
You've been my grad
student for 12 years.Copy !req
17. You were ready
six years ago.Copy !req
18. What?Copy !req
19. I probably
should have told you.Copy !req
20. Anyway,
the important thing is
to be relaxed tomorrow.Copy !req
21. Are you sure?Copy !req
22. Yes.Copy !req
23. Do what you young
people do to unwind.Copy !req
24. Take a joyride
in your jalopy.Copy !req
25. Wear a T-shirt
and eat a fish stick.
Go!Copy !req
26. Okay, amigos,
one teensy drink
to help Amy relax.Copy !req
27. Hear, hear!Copy !req
28. Hmm.Copy !req
29. I guess I'm still
kind of nervous.Copy !req
30. One more teensy drink
to help Amy relax.Copy !req
31. Still a little
nervous?Copy !req
32. She's a nervous wreck!Copy !req
33. Well, I may not
have a man,Copy !req
34. but at least
I've got you,
poopsie-doodle.Copy !req
35. Leela, it's time
you and I had a talk.Copy !req
36. A talk? You can't break up
with me. You're my pet!Copy !req
37. As much as I enjoy
being the object of your
misplaced affections,Copy !req
38. I am also a highly
sophisticated beingCopy !req
39. who longs for
intelligent
conversation.Copy !req
40. Aw! Is shnookums
not feeling
shtimuwated?Copy !req
41. An understatement,
to say the least.Copy !req
42. It's time you
treated me
with respect.Copy !req
43. If you want to be
treated like a fellow
crew member, fine,Copy !req
44. but no more
purse rides,Copy !req
45. and no more dressing
you up in your cute
little sailor suit.Copy !req
46. I keep telling you
that's my real
naval uniform.Copy !req
47. Your place or mine?Copy !req
48. Both. But first,
this place.Copy !req
49. Ooh! Room for one more?Copy !req
50. I thought
I set you for 7:15!Copy !req
51. Sorry,
I hooked up with
Bender last night.Copy !req
52. Dude was all over
my snooze button.Copy !req
53. But my doctoral exam
is in 10 minutes. On Mars!Copy !req
54. Ew! Kif, did you
yack on the floor?Copy !req
55. Yes, I did.Copy !req
56. Where's your candidate,
Farnsworth?Copy !req
57. I have a long list
of students
to humiliate today.Copy !req
58. You're late,
Miss Wong.Copy !req
59. Oh, God, this is like
one of those nightmares!Copy !req
60. Here, take my lab coat.Copy !req
61. Allow me to introduce
your examining committeeCopy !req
62. in descending order
of grumpiness.Copy !req
63. Professor
Ogden Wernstrom.Copy !req
64. Wernstrom.Copy !req
65. Downtown Professor
of Applied Physics,
Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate.Copy !req
66. I see by your
curriculum vitae that
you're a Sagittarius.Copy !req
67. And Professor
Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell.Copy !req
68. The cow says...Copy !req
69. He proved that 50 years ago,
and he's been coasting on it
ever since.Copy !req
70. I am the esteemed
Professor Morris Katz,
and you are wasting my time.Copy !req
71. Proceed.Copy !req
72. Lmagine,
if you will...Copy !req
73. Oh, God.Copy !req
74. A gigantic spherical
generator, one that could
provide unlimited energyCopy !req
75. because it's essentially
in perpetual motion.Copy !req
76. Young lady,
have you been
drinking?Copy !req
77. Well, yes,
but that's not revelant.Copy !req
78. I'm talking about Earth.
Earth's the generator.Copy !req
79. Suppose this basketball
is the whole world.Copy !req
80. To many young men
in the inner city, it is.Copy !req
81. As it spins, it's producing
an enormous magnetic field.Copy !req
82. If we could use that field
to generate electric current,Copy !req
83. we could actually harness
the Earth's rotational
ener... Ener...Copy !req
84. Yes, tapping
the Earth's
ener-kerchoo.Copy !req
85. Go on.Copy !req
86. Sorry,
I'm super-allergic
to cats.Copy !req
87. Professor Katz,
would you mind...Copy !req
88. Miss Wong,
I mind everything.Copy !req
89. You just need to polarize
the Earth's core
with a huge static chargeCopy !req
90. by ratcheting
superconducting
wire down into...Copy !req
91. Sorry.Copy !req
92. Enough. The committee members
will now vote yea or nay.Copy !req
93. Nay.
Nay.Copy !req
94. Hell, nay.Copy !req
95. The horse says,
"Doctorate denied."Copy !req
96. It's okay, Amy.Copy !req
97. I don't have
a fancy degree either,Copy !req
98. but today I'm a prominent boy
in the package delivery field.Copy !req
99. Now that I am a full
and equal member of the crew,Copy !req
100. I pledge my loyalty,
my perspicacityCopy !req
101. and, dare I say it,
my friendship.Copy !req
102. Leela, muzzle
that skunk.Copy !req
103. We can't stop a meeting
for some cute,
fuzzy, little...Copy !req
104. Hey,
look, a kitty cat.Copy !req
105. You again?Copy !req
106. Get away,
you mangy ball of histamines.Copy !req
107. You leave
kitty cat alone!Copy !req
108. Kitty cat.Copy !req
109. People, please,
I'm trying to run
a business,Copy !req
110. so I get to hold kitty.
Here, puss, puss...Copy !req
111. No, me.
Over here.
I wanna hold him.Copy !req
112. Its anus looks
like an asterisk.Copy !req
113. Captain Fuzzy Toes
reporting for duty.
I mean, cutie.Copy !req
114. My best friend died
in that uniform.Copy !req
115. I hate that cat!Copy !req
116. If I had a spray bottle,
I'd give him such a spritzing.Copy !req
117. I'll tell you one thing,Copy !req
118. nothing acts that cute
without some ulterior motive.Copy !req
119. Aw! You want
your dipey changed?Copy !req
120. We'll have to watch
its every move.Copy !req
121. Powder, please.Copy !req
122. Here's my new theory:
That is one adorable cat.Copy !req
123. I guess
I was just jealous.Copy !req
124. I do miss being
Leela's shnookums.Copy !req
125. I'm going to apologize
and hope for a pity pet.Copy !req
126. Yes, my lord.Copy !req
127. Amy and Nibbler
are a tewwible thweat.Copy !req
128. They must be spayed
and neutered, wespectivewy.Copy !req
129. The cat is evil!
We have proof!Copy !req
130. It was summoning
a saucer.Copy !req
131. Of course
it wanted a saucer,
you idiot.Copy !req
132. A saucer of
dewicious cweam.Copy !req
133. You fool, this isn't
about the cream!Copy !req
134. It's pwonounced
"cweam"!Copy !req
135. I'm petting mine
down to the bone.Copy !req
136. Just stwoke
its fwuffy fur.Copy !req
137. Scwatch its fwubby chin.Copy !req
138. Fweeble its fwooby pwow.Copy !req
139. Pet it. Pet it.Copy !req
140. Pet it. Pet it.Copy !req
141. No, no!Copy !req
142. Pet it. Pet it.Copy !req
143. Pet it. Pet it.Copy !req
144. What do cats
need with that much
yarn and cobalt?Copy !req
145. They're doing
something downstairs.
We've got to find out what.Copy !req
146. Where do you think
you're going, No-cat?Copy !req
147. The basement.
I think I left the
air hockey table on.Copy !req
148. Without a cat,
you ain't going nowhere.Copy !req
149. Can you at least tell us
what's going on down there?Copy !req
150. We're certainly
not building
something sinister,Copy !req
151. if that's what
you're implying.Copy !req
152. Now, come on, Bender,
something sinister
won't build itself.Copy !req
153. Professor Katz's
last name is Katz.Copy !req
154. Do you think he has
something to do
with these cats?Copy !req
155. The conclusion
is as inescapable
as it is moronic.Copy !req
156. I say we pay him a visit,
and if he won't talk to us,Copy !req
157. he'll talk to
Smith & WessonCopy !req
158. Or, perhaps,
Consolidated Head Melter.Copy !req
159. Professor Katz,
we want answers!Copy !req
160. I warn you,
if I have to get cute,
it's gonna get ugly.Copy !req
161. He's dead!Copy !req
162. Wait. What are these
strings on his lap?Copy !req
163. What the...
He isn't dead.Copy !req
164. He's one of those
dog-operated puppetsCopy !req
165. that's been adapted
for use by a cat!Copy !req
166. So, I had my doctorate
denied by that fuzzball?Copy !req
167. Bad kitty!Copy !req
168. They actually built
the planetary ratchet
from my thesis!Copy !req
169. Uh-oh!Copy !req
170. What the...Copy !req
171. Well, look what
the me dragged in.Copy !req
172. You can talk!Copy !req
173. You can talk?Copy !req
174. How ironic.Copy !req
175. Two hyper-intelligent
beings both pretending
to be simple house pets.Copy !req
176. Say, do you know
Obliteron?Copy !req
177. He pretends to be
a hamster, but...Copy !req
178. Yeah, that's really great.
Could you please
tell us what's going on?Copy !req
179. What? Oh! Right.Copy !req
180. You see, my associates and I
are from the ninth planetCopy !req
181. of the star
you call Thuban.Copy !req
182. Long ago,
life there was ideal.Copy !req
183. The sun provided
plenty of warm,
dozy light.Copy !req
184. The chicken-salmon
roamed free.Copy !req
185. Yet disaster loomed.Copy !req
186. Our planet's rotation
was gradually slowing.Copy !req
187. At first,
it seemed beneficial.Copy !req
188. Long, dark nights
for sleeping,Copy !req
189. long, sunny days
for sleeping.Copy !req
190. But then it got too hot.Copy !req
191. And too cold.Copy !req
192. Our top scientists
went to work.Copy !req
193. At last,
they located a planet with
the necessary orientationCopy !req
194. and magnetic field
to harness its
rotational energy.Copy !req
195. Earth!
Indubitably.Copy !req
196. Although we call it
Blue Blue Shiny Ball.Copy !req
197. In the area
now known as Egypt,Copy !req
198. my people
constructed a giant,
semi-octahedral antennaCopy !req
199. to beam Earth's
rotational energy
to Thuban.Copy !req
200. The Great
Pyramid at Giza!Copy !req
201. Yes. The Egyptians
viewed us as gods,Copy !req
202. but ironically,
that was our downfall.Copy !req
203. They pampered us
with feasts most fancy
and victuals most tender.Copy !req
204. We grew fat
and domesticated.Copy !req
205. Thousands of years passed,Copy !req
206. and our home world
was nearing
total destruction.Copy !req
207. Shut up!Copy !req
208. But the technology
to save our planet was lost.Copy !req
209. Lost, that is,
until I heard you speak
at Mars University.Copy !req
210. So, you called my thesis
a fat sack of barf,
and then you stole it?Copy !req
211. Welcome to academia.Copy !req
212. He intends to siphon off
Earth's rotational energy!Copy !req
213. Earth will come
to a stop, and...Copy !req
214. Half of you will cook,
and half of you will freeze.Copy !req
215. Earth will be one big McDLT.
We just got that commercial
last year.Copy !req
216. Oh, yeah, smarty paws?Copy !req
217. You may have built
the ratchet, but you
can't reach the coreCopy !req
218. without 4,000 miles
of superconducting wire.Copy !req
219. The ball of yarn!Copy !req
220. Quite.Copy !req
221. Even so, you'd still
need a tremendously
powerful static chargeCopy !req
222. to trigger the process.Copy !req
223. Ever had a cat
rub up against you?Copy !req
224. If you're propositioning me,
I'm not interested.Copy !req
225. I'm talking about
the charge generatedCopy !req
226. when 50,000 felines
rub against
a single surface.Copy !req
227. Professor?Copy !req
228. Soon the world
will come to a stop,Copy !req
229. and there's nothing
you can do to stop it.Copy !req
230. The stopping of the world,
that is. It's unstoppable.Copy !req
231. Excuse me.Copy !req
232. The Earth is
coming to a stop!Copy !req
233. Keep your eyes on
the kitties and push!Copy !req
234. These space cats seem to be
employing some form of
hypnotic hyper-cuteness.Copy !req
235. Well,
two can play at that game.
And one of them is me.Copy !req
236. Nibbler? Poopsie-doodle?Copy !req
237. Mr. Winkles, Smudge-Smudge.
Quick, dance with each other!Copy !req
238. Aw!Copy !req
239. Aw!Copy !req
240. Damn, they are good.Copy !req
241. We're coming to a full stop.
All cats, to your posts!Copy !req
242. Catastrophe Beach Party.
Scene One.Copy !req
243. Cue disaster effects,
and action!Copy !req
244. Cut! That extra looked
at the camera.
We'll have to do it again.Copy !req
245. And now to transfer
your planet's
rotational energyCopy !req
246. to my home world.Copy !req
247. Well, now,
this calls for
a celebration.Copy !req
248. What's all this cat
hair on my sweater?Copy !req
249. Why am I full of sand?
And Tootsie Rolls?Copy !req
250. You were all under
the spell of those
obnoxious space cats!Copy !req
251. Enjoy being
broiled alive
by the sun,Copy !req
252. and also the dead bird
we've left in your slipper.Copy !req
253. Quickly! If we turn
the ratchet the other way,Copy !req
254. perhaps we can
restart the Earth!Copy !req
255. It won't turn.
Push harder, Bender!Copy !req
256. I can't! You should have
called my cousin, Turner.Copy !req
257. It's hopeless.Copy !req
258. Even in theory,
the device can only apply
force in one direction.Copy !req
259. Can someone open
a window? It's getting
a little warm in here.Copy !req
260. Is that better?Copy !req
261. Shmeezus, it's hot!Copy !req
262. Why'd I have to invent
that awful device?Copy !req
263. Amy, technology isn't
intrinsically good or evil.Copy !req
264. It's how it's used.
Like the death ray.Copy !req
265. Maybe you're right.Copy !req
266. I guess science has
to keep pushing forward
with the hope that...Copy !req
267. That's it!
Pushing forward!Copy !req
268. Professor, I know how
to restart the Earth!Copy !req
269. You can't
suddenly know somethingCopy !req
270. just by assembling
a committee of words.Copy !req
271. That's it!
I'll assemble your committee!Copy !req
272. The ratchet
won't turn backwards,Copy !req
273. but what if we kept
pushing it forward?Copy !req
274. Earth would start
turning again!Copy !req
275. Yes, the wrong direction!Copy !req
276. So?Copy !req
277. Gentlemen, ladies,
let's get this
globe trotting.Copy !req
278. It's working!
Just a little faster!Copy !req
279. But we're plotzing here!Copy !req
280. Then look at Nibbler!Copy !req
281. Aw!Copy !req
282. On the whole,
Earth's society
is worthless.Copy !req
283. But they do have
these things calledCopy !req
284. antique rugs that are
great for peeing on.Copy !req
285. Good show.Copy !req
286. And though the world
is now spinning in the wrong
direction, it's good enough.Copy !req
287. Well done, Amy.Copy !req
288. I'm honored to begrudgingly
present you with your Ph. D.Copy !req
289. In applied physics.Copy !req
290. Also, some kind of
sportsmanship award I had
in my glove compartment.Copy !req
291. Yay! I'm finally
done with school!
How's the job market?Copy !req
292. Rough.Copy !req
293. Congratulations,
Dr. Wong!Copy !req
294. Congratulations.Copy !req
295. Permission
to come aboard?Copy !req
296. Granted, shnookums.Copy !req
297. You've got
a bright future, Amy.Copy !req
298. As sure as the sun
sets in the east.Copy !req