1. Silence, puny audience!Copy !req
2. And welcome to
Who Dares To Be
A Millionaire?Copy !req
3. Tremble before
Morbo's mighty likability,Copy !req
4. as I chitchat with
our first contestant,
Philip J. Fry.Copy !req
5. Give him hell, Morbo!Copy !req
6. Prepare for pleasantries!Copy !req
7. So, Fry, what do you
do for a living?Copy !req
8. Me?
Can I phone a friend?Copy !req
9. Chitchat achieved!Copy !req
10. Are you ready to play?Copy !req
11. I didn't come to play,
I came to win.Copy !req
12. Now let's play.Copy !req
13. For $1, what tool is
used to hammer a nail?Copy !req
14. Is it, A, a hammer?Copy !req
15. B, a nail?Copy !req
16. C...
B, Nail! Final answer!Copy !req
17. Sweet dodo
of Lesotho!Copy !req
18. Don't you ever stop to think
before you speak?Copy !req
19. I never stop to
think about it.Copy !req
20. Leave Fry alone.
His intelligence is just
a little differenty.Copy !req
21. You a big dummy!Copy !req
22. Hey, I'm beginning to think
you guys don't think
I'm very smart.Copy !req
23. You can barely remember
your own name, Einstein.Copy !req
24. Einstein is a hard name
to remember.Copy !req
25. Ow!Copy !req
26. Smeesh, Professor.Copy !req
27. Don't have a shmaneurysm.
Fry's your distant relative.Copy !req
28. Not distant enough.Copy !req
29. I'll be a monkey's uncle
if I'm this monkey's nephew.Copy !req
30. (SNIFFLES) But you're
my only family.Copy !req
31. Who will hug me if
I achieve something?Copy !req
32. Oh, perhaps
I've been too harsh.Copy !req
33. Come, lad,
take my hand and I'll explain
why I find you so repugnant.Copy !req
34. All my life, I've been
inspired by great minds.Copy !req
35. Euclid, Copernicus, Braino.Copy !req
36. And my personal role model,
Leonardo da Vinci.Copy !req
37. What turned them to stone?Copy !req
38. Da Vinci was history's
greatest artist and inventor.Copy !req
39. Voilà!Copy !req
40. He invented flying machines,
war engines, submarines.Copy !req
41. Uh-oh.
Nibbler died
in the wall.Copy !req
42. That's not Nibbler.
That's my most
precious possession.Copy !req
43. Leonardo's beard!Copy !req
44. I paid a fortune for it
at an auction of
historic body parts.Copy !req
45. I suppose if I have
an Achilles' heel,Copy !req
46. it's because I bought it
at that same auction.Copy !req
47. Indeed so.
Most indeededly.Copy !req
48. Careful with that,
you fool!Copy !req
49. No! No!Copy !req
50. But possibly yes.Copy !req
51. What is it, Professor?Copy !req
52. Oh, my! It's da Vinci's
fabled lost invention.Copy !req
53. Even the scholars who wrote
of this device had no idea
what it was for.Copy !req
54. And now, at last,
neither do I!Copy !req
55. Maybe we can
figure it out.Copy !req
56. We? (LAUGHS)Copy !req
57. Well, I may not
have brain smarts,Copy !req
58. but at least
I have street smarts.Copy !req
59. I was in
the hospital two weeks.
No one visited me.Copy !req
60. Quiet, you!Copy !req
61. I'm trying to deduce
the function of da Vinci's
lost invention.Copy !req
62. Not even a card.Copy !req
63. He might have hidden a clue
in one of his other works.Copy !req
64. Ergo, I sent Bender out
for a copy of
The Last Supper.Copy !req
65. I'm back!Copy !req
66. Everybody at Kinko's
was an idiot, so I just
brought the original.Copy !req
67. Jesus Christ,
and his 12 Apostles.Copy !req
68. That's odd.Copy !req
69. This hand here doesn't
belong to anybody.Copy !req
70. And it's pointing a knife
at James the Lesser!Copy !req
71. That's the great thing
about that hand.Copy !req
72. And what about
these funky table legs?Copy !req
73. It's like they're from
some other, funkier painting.Copy !req
74. Maybe da Vinci painted
over something else.Copy !req
75. It's called a pentimento.Copy !req
76. That's true, Dr. Zoidberg.
How did you know that?Copy !req
77. My doctorate is
in art history.Copy !req
78. Let's see what's
under The Last Supper.Copy !req
79. Wait a second!
I'm not big-boned,
I'm just fat.Copy !req
80. My God! Look!Copy !req
81. My God! I'm looking!Copy !req
82. My God!
Saint James
was a robot!Copy !req
83. My God!
Da Vinci left his legs
unpainted as a clue.Copy !req
84. My God!
This is the greatest
mystery of all time.Copy !req
85. We must fly to Rome
and exhume the body
of Saint James.Copy !req
86. Didn't we used to be
a delivery company?
To the ship.Copy !req
87. Psst.Copy !req
88. Leela, wanna join
the mile-deep club?Copy !req
89. Sure, why not?
(GASPS)Copy !req
90. No time!
I've found a clue thatCopy !req
91. could unlock all
the secrets of history.Copy !req
92. Look at these
Roman numerals.Copy !req
93. Roman numerals?Copy !req
94. I've got it!
We're in Rome!Copy !req
95. Don't be stupid.
It's a long-lost
mathematical code.Copy !req
96. I'll need to consult
these ancient writings.Copy !req
97. Some preposterous hogwash
about the Fibonacci
sequence...Copy !req
98. Aha!Copy !req
99. The markings indicate
how many paces
we need to take.Copy !req
100. One... Okay,
we're there.Copy !req
101. Brothers and sisters,
let us pry.Copy !req
102. It's true! Saint James
really was a robot.Copy !req
103. I bet he's up in
robot heaven right now.
So he won't miss his eyes.Copy !req
104. My God! Robot Saint
James is a zombie.Copy !req
105. Nay, I am not Saint James.Copy !req
106. Enough of your lies,
Saint James.Copy !req
107. We saw you in
The Last Supper.Copy !req
108. The great man
Leonardo built me
as an artist's model.Copy !req
109. When I took repose
in this coffin,Copy !req
110. I carefully tossed
the real Saint James
in yonder heap.Copy !req
111. I'm sure you have
many questions.Copy !req
112. Come,
there is a chamber
where I used toCopy !req
113. speak with Pope John
the Patient.Copy !req
114. I told him I'd be
back in five minutes.Copy !req
115. Well, he'll make
a nice heap.Copy !req
116. I am Animatronio,
guardian of da Vinci's
great secret.Copy !req
117. He left my legs visible
in the painting as a clue,Copy !req
118. then dispatched me
hither to awaitCopy !req
119. his shadow society
of intellectuals.Copy !req
120. Hi, Animatronio.Copy !req
121. You personally
knew da Vinci?Copy !req
122. Was he nice?
How did his hair smell?Copy !req
123. And on a personal note,
what is the function
of this device?Copy !req
124. Halt!
You know not the function
of the machina magnifica?Copy !req
125. Then thou art not members
of the shadow society!Copy !req
126. The what now?Copy !req
127. Not one more word
shall I breathe.Copy !req
128. Not even about
the great fountain where
thou mayest find the...Copy !req
129. Wait...Copy !req
130. Thou didst not know
about the fountain,
didst thou?Copy !req
131. Curses!
I must be punished.Copy !req
132. Quick, we must
find out what he knowsCopy !req
133. before he flays
himself to death!Copy !req
134. Where is the
great fountain?Copy !req
135. What makes it so great?Copy !req
136. Why does a robot
need a codpiece?Copy !req
137. Fie, thou
fen-suckled bum-bailey!Copy !req
138. Thou willst never
pry information from
these mechanical lips!Copy !req
139. Just tell us, already.Copy !req
140. Okay, the fountain
thou seekest is...Copy !req
141. And so dies our hope
of solving this mystery.Copy !req
142. Come on, gang.
Let's go home.Copy !req
143. Wait! Let's not
give up so easily.Copy !req
144. Animatronio
mentioned a fountain.Copy !req
145. That's a statue of Neptune,
god of water.Copy !req
146. The number of points
on his trident is three,
or trey.Copy !req
147. The "U" in his name
is written like "V."Copy !req
148. Trey, "V."Copy !req
149. Trevi!
It's the Trevi fountain!Copy !req
150. There can be
no question!
But, Professor...Copy !req
151. There can be no question!Copy !req
152. Wow, it hasn't changed
in 1,000 years.Copy !req
153. Okay, everyone,
into the fountain.Copy !req
154. What are you, senile?
I'm not jumping in there.Copy !req
155. Hey, look. Coins.Copy !req
156. I got 48 cents.Copy !req
157. (GASPS)
There's one more nickel,
and it's a big one!Copy !req
158. Quickly,
into the sewer hole.Copy !req
159. Why?Copy !req
160. What's this dump?Copy !req
161. My God!
It's the Pantheon!Copy !req
162. This place is
3,000 years old.Copy !req
163. What could possibly
be left to discover?Copy !req
164. Maybe something
about ourselves, Leela.Copy !req
165. Wait!
What's under that blanket?Copy !req
166. My God!
Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man!Copy !req
167. It's truly a masterpiece.Copy !req
168. Note how
the perspective linesCopy !req
169. draw the eye
right to his dong.Copy !req
170. Say, what's this?Copy !req
171. Anyone hear something?Copy !req
172. It's a coin slot.Copy !req
173. Bender,
insert that giant nickel.Copy !req
174. Sure.Copy !req
175. (GROANS)
Hush, Bender!Copy !req
176. What's your game,
Vitruvian Man?Copy !req
177. Whoa!
Whoa!Copy !req
178. I withdraw
the question, Vitruvian Man.Copy !req
179. Da Vinci's lost workshop!Copy !req
180. At the risk of
sounding stupid,Copy !req
181. do these things
actually work?Copy !req
182. Of course not, stupid!Copy !req
183. I mean, that flying machine's
as aerodynamic as a sofa!Copy !req
184. How could it possibly
get off the ground?Copy !req
185. In a way thou shalt
never discover!Copy !req
186. Hi, Animatronio.Copy !req
187. I feign death
and stalk thee,Copy !req
188. that I might preserve
the greatest of
Leonardo's secrets!Copy !req
189. All right,
buddy, we want secrets!
And they'd better be ancient!Copy !req
190. Never shall I reveal
how these wondrous
machines fit together!Copy !req
191. They fit together?Copy !req
192. I said no such thing.
And then I died!Copy !req
193. You're right, Professor.
This thing doesn't fly.Copy !req
194. Don't sit in there,
you idiot!
That's dangerous!Copy !req
195. (GASPS) No wonder
this contraption isn't
aerodynamic!Copy !req
196. It's not an aircraft,
it's a spacecraft!Copy !req
197. As I live, thou shan't
discover the great secret!Copy !req
198. Bye, Animatronio!Copy !req
199. My God!Copy !req
200. Why would Leonardo's machine
have brought us here?Copy !req
201. I don't know.
Let's ask this guy.Copy !req
202. I am Leonardo.Copy !req
203. Welcome to Planet Vinci.Copy !req
204. My God!Copy !req
205. That's what
I was gonna say!Copy !req
206. Leonardo!
You're alive? Here?Copy !req
207. You've learned
my great secret.
I was but a visitor to Earth.Copy !req
208. In truth, I am what
you call a space alien.Copy !req
209. Oh!Copy !req
210. It's an honor to
meet you, Leonardo.Copy !req
211. And may I say,
you were great in
Titanic. The Beach...Copy !req
212. That's Leonardo DiCaprio,
you blockhead!Copy !req
213. Looks like
eating rocks wasn't
as dumb as you said.Copy !req
214. So what do people
do for fun here?Copy !req
215. Do you enjoy
partying all night,Copy !req
216. with plenty of ale
and lusty women?Copy !req
217. I sure do!
Not us.Copy !req
218. We spend our leisure time
in the mathematics museum.Copy !req
219. Planet Vinci is basically
a single colossal university.Copy !req
220. How's your football team?Copy !req
221. Learned.Copy !req
222. Ooh! I'm going to check out
that math lecture.Copy !req
223. All this knowledge
is giving me
a raging brainer.Copy !req
224. Would you like to hear
the lecture, too, Fry?Copy !req
225. No.
It would just go in one ear
and out some other hole.Copy !req
226. Come. Sit down.Copy !req
227. Now, that I can do.
(GROANS)Copy !req
228. I have a terrible secret
to confess, Mr. DiCaprio.Copy !req
229. I'm not very smart.Copy !req
230. I appreciate your candor.Copy !req
231. I don't even know what
language you're speaking.Copy !req
232. I, too, have a confession.Copy !req
233. You see,
here on Planet Vinci,
I am the stupidest person.Copy !req
234. What? Who'd possibly
think you're stupid?Copy !req
235. Duh! I'm Leonardo!Copy !req
236. I don't know the mass
of the Higgs boson.Copy !req
237. Duh!
I have to draw in pencil,Copy !req
238. 'cause I don't know how to
use rendering software.Copy !req
239. Stupid Biff!
Thinks he's so smart.Copy !req
240. He looks stronger
than you, too.Copy !req
241. I went to Earth because
I could no longer
stand the ridicule.Copy !req
242. But being surrounded
by even stupider people
was equally infuriating.Copy !req
243. I can see myself
in your shiny button.Copy !req
244. Inventing is
what makes me happy.Copy !req
245. Or did, until I misplaced
the plans for my masterpiece.Copy !req
246. You mean these?Copy !req
247. (GASPS)
The machina magnifica?Copy !req
248. Infinite joy!Copy !req
249. Fry,
my friend, you have given
my life meaning again!Copy !req
250. That calculus lecture
was harder than I expected.Copy !req
251. We had to
answer every question
in the form of an opera.Copy !req
252. I have a lot of
homework for tomorrow,Copy !req
253. if I don't want
to be embarrassed.Copy !req
254. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
255. And if you like that,
you'll love our main event.Copy !req
256. Ladies and gentlemen,
Leonardo DiCaprio!Copy !req
257. I mean, da Vinci!Copy !req
258. For centuries,
you've ridiculed me.
Especially you, Biff.Copy !req
259. Nice hat!Copy !req
260. But, at long last,
this invention will
show you.Copy !req
261. It will show you all!Copy !req
262. Behold, my unstoppable
doomsday machine!Copy !req
263. And I helped!Copy !req
264. Wait. You told me
it was an unstoppable
ice cream machine.Copy !req
265. Ice cream is
just a by-product
of the machine!Copy !req
266. Lts primary purpose
is to exterminateCopy !req
267. everyone who ever
made me feel inferior!Copy !req
268. Ooh! I'm so scared!Copy !req
269. Bring it on, dum-dum!Copy !req
270. Oh, yeah? Let's see how
hard you're laughingCopy !req
271. when my doomsday machine
chops off your face!Copy !req
272. Leonardo, stop!Copy !req
273. I want in on this!Copy !req
274. Are you crazy, Professor?Copy !req
275. I hate these nerds!Copy !req
276. Just 'cause I'm
stupider than them,Copy !req
277. they think
they're smarter
than me.Copy !req
278. Kill them all,
starting with
the math teacher!Copy !req
279. I knew this final invention
would be a humdinger.Copy !req
280. Yes. We three idiots will
finally have our revenge!Copy !req
281. I don't think so.Copy !req
282. You two make me ashamed
to call myself an idiot.Copy !req
283. There's always going to be
someone smarter than you,Copy !req
284. so the only way to be happy
is to make the most
of what you've got.Copy !req
285. But you've got nothing.Copy !req
286. Oh, no?Copy !req
287. I've got one single nail,
and another nail
to nail it in with.Copy !req
288. And I'm gonna stop this
infernal ice cream machine
once and for all!Copy !req
289. Some doomsday machine!
It barely killed anyone!Copy !req
290. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
291. Well, take this!Copy !req
292. Oh, my.Copy !req
293. Poor Leonardo da Vinci.
He sure was stupid.Copy !req
294. Fry, I admire
what you did today,Copy !req
295. and I'm deeply sorry for
insulting your intellect.Copy !req
296. Your tiny, tiny intellect.Copy !req
297. Oops. There I go again,
you dope.Copy !req
298. I mean, dummy.Copy !req
299. It's okay.Copy !req
300. I may not be clever,
but I have a good heart.Copy !req
301. That's what my mom
used to say.Copy !req
302. She was a wise woman.Copy !req
303. Also, that I'm not
much to look at.Copy !req
304. A wise woman, indeed.Copy !req
305. ENGLISH - US - PSDHCopy !req