1. We now go
live to our eye-in-the-sky
hovercopterCopy !req
2. on the scene of that
terrible hovercopter crash.Copy !req
3. Jim?
The news is not good.Copy !req
4. I've just learned that
my final words were,
"Back to you, Linda."Copy !req
5. One for the blooper reel.Copy !req
6. The news
is so violent.Copy !req
7. Let's watch
Rachael Ray instead.Copy !req
8. No, wait,
there might
be chopping.Copy !req
9. God, what a wuss.
Stop being such
a spineless jellyfish.Copy !req
10. You know full well I am
more closely related
to the sea cucumber.Copy !req
11. Not where it counts.Copy !req
12. I hated Jim!Copy !req
13. In other news,
our city's filthy,
urine-soaked wallsCopy !req
14. have been desecrated
by a mysterious
tile-work graffiti artist.Copy !req
15. Police have no leads
as to who's behindCopy !req
16. this innovative
scourge of public art.Copy !req
17. That is one sexy
bridge abutment.Copy !req
18. Free corn?
Well, that'll suit me
just fine.Copy !req
19. The key is knowing
precisely where to strike.Copy !req
20. Oops.Copy !req
21. Well, well. Time to
beat him his rights.Copy !req
22. You know,
that don't look half bad
on your buttocks.Copy !req
23. It does sort of
class-up the place.Copy !req
24. The time is 4:00 a. M!Copy !req
25. We've been
arguing all night, Kif.
Can't we go to bed?Copy !req
26. Is that all
you ever think about?Copy !req
27. I'm not just some
piece of tofu, Amy.Copy !req
28. I need to know where we stand
in our relationship.Copy !req
29. We're just going
through a rough patch.Copy !req
30. It is not a patch.
It's been ages,Copy !req
31. according to your
wildly inappropriate
hunk-of-the-month calendar.Copy !req
32. Leave Todd out of this.Copy !req
33. Thanks, babe. Also, today is
Canadian Independence Day.Copy !req
34. That's Bender's ringtone.
I recognize the smell.Copy !req
35. Hello?
Yo, Amy,Copy !req
36. I'm in the slammer.
Oh, no.Copy !req
37. That's enough lip
out of you, moneybags.Copy !req
38. Just get 5 grand
and bail me out.Copy !req
39. I don't have
that kind of money
laying around.Copy !req
40. Yeah, you do.
You know the floor safe
where you keep 10 grand?Copy !req
41. There's 5 grand in there.
Don't make me wait.Copy !req
42. Hey, Bender, you ever
kill a man with a sock?Copy !req
43. It ain't so hard.Copy !req
44. I'd better carve a shiv
for protection.Copy !req
45. Rodriguez.
These two brothers
bailed your ass out.Copy !req
46. Oh! Thank God.Copy !req
47. Tell me, have things
changed on the outside?Copy !req
48. Is food finally in pill form?
What about pills?
Are they in food form?Copy !req
49. Hey, hot stuff, I'm Larry,
the murder burglar.Copy !req
50. Hi, Larry,
I like your tattoos.Copy !req
51. Amy, that man
is a criminal.Copy !req
52. I'm just checking out
his tats.Copy !req
53. Sneato.
I have one of my mom.Copy !req
54. Want to see?
Sure.Copy !req
55. I just don't get
why you have to flirt with
every bad boy in sight.Copy !req
56. Quit exaggerating.Copy !req
57. Nobody move
or sweet cheeks
here gets it.Copy !req
58. Ooh!Copy !req
59. You're bad.Copy !req
60. Mama said,
"Spock you out."Copy !req
61. That's it, Amy.Copy !req
62. Pardon my language,
but I have had it with you
ruffling my petticoats.Copy !req
63. You and I are through!Copy !req
64. Aw!Copy !req
65. Here's a little song
I wrote to cheer you up.
It's called...Copy !req
66. Let's go alreadyCopy !req
67. Here's to Amy, single,
lonely and fabulous.Copy !req
68. Thanks, everybody.
Looks like I'm
back in the game.Copy !req
69. Yeah,
the game of old maid.Copy !req
70. Excuse me, sir,
are those yours?Copy !req
71. You're damn right,
and before you ask,
this is mine, too.Copy !req
72. Tough break, Amy.
Are you and Kif
getting divorced?Copy !req
73. No. Technically,
we were Fon-Fon-Rus,
so we weren't really married.Copy !req
74. Wow, the interesting
thing about that is...Copy !req
75. So, Amy, how can I
phrase this delicately?Copy !req
76. Why did Kif dump you
like a sack of
yesterday's turds?Copy !req
77. He says I have
a thing for bad boys.
It's so stupid.Copy !req
78. The truth is
often stupid.Copy !req
79. Bender, why do you have to
be so mean to me?Copy !req
80. Shut up, baby,
you love it.Copy !req
81. Don't tell me
to shut up.Copy !req
82. You know what happened
to the last guy who
told me to shut up?Copy !req
83. What?Copy !req
84. That was great.Copy !req
85. Shut up.Copy !req
86. Come over here.Copy !req
87. Remember,
love between a human
and a robot is taboo.Copy !req
88. We can't tell anyone,
not even our co-workers.Copy !req
89. Got it. I'll show
the utmost discretionCopy !req
90. as we get nasty
in this glass tube.Copy !req
91. I think I'm coming
down with circus-itis.Copy !req
92. I thought circus-itis
only affected children.Copy !req
93. Children of all ages.Copy !req
94. Bender, old friend,
what's on your face?Copy !req
95. Blood. You know,
shaving of the face beard.Copy !req
96. Amy, are those gear imprints
on your sweatpants?Copy !req
97. Uh, maybe. So what?Copy !req
98. Well, I only brought it up
'cause Bender's wearing them.Copy !req
99. Uh...Copy !req
100. I stole them from her.
Yeah, that's it,
call the cops.Copy !req
101. Oh, my swollen feet.Copy !req
102. I'd better take my pills.Copy !req
103. Amy, I reckon sweet talk
don't come natural to me,Copy !req
104. but of everyone
I've ever dated,Copy !req
105. you are probably
in the top 10.Copy !req
106. Aw.Copy !req
107. You always say
just the wrong thing
in just the right way.Copy !req
108. Sinners! Robosexuality
is an abomination!Copy !req
109. This guy.Copy !req
110. The good book sayeth
a robot shall not lie
down with a human,Copy !req
111. nor do it standing up,
nor at any angle in between.Copy !req
112. Hey, he's right.Copy !req
113. I don't like this.
in the good book.Copy !req
114. Look, a single mother!
Let's get her!Copy !req
115. Quickly,
into the ship's basement!Copy !req
116. Now then, as you all know,
the county fair is
approaching once again,Copy !req
117. so I'm preparing my entry
of pickled winds
and weathers.Copy !req
118. I've got sunny,
snow flurries,
hail with onions,Copy !req
119. even my grandmother's
cranberry-raisin typhoon,Copy !req
120. but no tornado.Copy !req
121. I'll be damned
if I let Mrs. Girdleson
take the blue ribbon again.Copy !req
122. That's why I need you folks
to get out there and
harvest a nice ripe one.Copy !req
123. This cattle prod
should help.Copy !req
124. How will that...Copy !req
125. Get out there!Copy !req
126. Is everybody in position?Copy !req
127. What?Copy !req
128. Is someone talking?Copy !req
129. Okay, good! On three!Copy !req
130. One!
What did she say?Copy !req
131. Two!
Wait, I'm not in position!Copy !req
132. Three!Copy !req
133. I'm ready for
the countdown!Copy !req
134. I'm not hearing anyone!
Abort mission!Copy !req
135. She said go!Copy !req
136. Good work, everyone.Copy !req
137. Honestly, that went
better than I expected.Copy !req
138. I just need to reduce it
down into this pickle jar,Copy !req
139. toss in a bay leaf to impress
those stupid judges.Copy !req
140. Hey, where's
Amy and Bender?Copy !req
141. They're missing out
on some hot pickle action.Copy !req
142. Sounds like a muskrat's
caught in there.Copy !req
143. That's Amy's sweatshirt.Copy !req
144. And that's Bender's hat
from the Players' Ball!Copy !req
145. Sweet tornados of Barbados!
Amy and Bender have been
torn to shreds.Copy !req
146. Oh, the humanity!
Also, Bender.Copy !req
147. Uh-oh.Copy !req
148. What's going on here?Copy !req
149. Uh...Copy !req
150. Nothing.Copy !req
151. A pair of
deviant robosexuals?
Not under my roof.Copy !req
152. What about on the roof?Copy !req
153. Get your mind
out of the gutter!Copy !req
154. What about in the gutter?Copy !req
155. Professor, there's nothing
wrong with robosexuality.Copy !req
156. Yeah,
when the lights go out,
it's nobody's businessCopy !req
157. what goes on between
two consenting adults.Copy !req
158. Or one.Copy !req
159. Thanks, guys.Copy !req
160. Everything will be okay
as long as my parents
don't find out.Copy !req
161. Mom? Dad?Copy !req
162. Come home, Amy.
It your decision.
We can't make you.Copy !req
163. Attagirl.Copy !req
164. Uh-oh.
Not the innocent whistling.Copy !req
165. Repent!
This guy.Copy !req
166. Look,
we're your family,Copy !req
167. and if you can't talk
about your problem with us,Copy !req
168. that would be great.Copy !req
169. I don't have a problem!Copy !req
170. I'm in a happy relationship
that just happens to be
robosex...Copy !req
171. You finish that word,
you kill your parents!Copy !req
172. Low wine level detected.Copy !req
173. Thank you.Copy !req
174. Stop seducing him,
you hussy!Copy !req
175. Dad!Copy !req
176. I'm attracted to Bender,
not this emotionless
wine bucket!Copy !req
177. Hopes deleted.Copy !req
178. Robotic brothers,
the path to robot hell is
paved with human flesh!Copy !req
179. Neat!
Over the courseCopy !req
180. of this
escape-proof workshop,Copy !req
181. your software
will be reprogrammed
through prayer.Copy !req
182. And by some
tech-support guys
in India.Copy !req
183. But I read in
Esqwired magazine
that some robotsCopy !req
184. are hardwired
to be robosexual.Copy !req
185. Don't believe
those lies, son!Copy !req
186. The only lies worth believing
are the ones in the Bible.Copy !req
187. Can I get a "Amen"?Copy !req
188. I'll take a-three-men.
Holla!Copy !req
189. Come on, Amy.
Pick a male human already.Copy !req
190. I want to be a grandmother
nine months from
five minutes from now.Copy !req
191. Cut it out, Mom!Copy !req
192. I'm not interested
in any of these gross,
ugly losers!Copy !req
193. What about this gross,
ugly, smelly loser?Copy !req
194. Fry!
What you doing here?Copy !req
195. I'm here to rescue AmyCopy !req
196. from her robosexual desires.Copy !req
197. If I understand
you correctly,Copy !req
198. I've seen the error
of my ways?Copy !req
199. Look at all that
awkward winking.Copy !req
200. It must be love.Copy !req
201. My parents may be evil,
but at least they're stupid.Copy !req
202. In this phase,
you will literally wrestle
with your demons.Copy !req
203. Your shapely,
buxom, human demons.Copy !req
204. Look at the rack on that one.
I mean, that one on the rack!Copy !req
205. Good! That's real good.Copy !req
206. Okay, everybody
switch demons.Copy !req
207. No point in staying
with just one demon.Copy !req
208. Now, work it hard!Copy !req
209. Harder! Till the sin
explodes out of you!Copy !req
210. Mmm.Copy !req
211. Mercy. Okay,
the Lord's work is done.Copy !req
212. Now, now, cuddle.
Cuddle with your demons.Copy !req
213. Amy, I wonder where
you are right now.Copy !req
214. I'm inside the dummy
to rescue you!Copy !req
215. Well, that answers that.
Wait... Amy?Copy !req
216. Bender, be careful!Copy !req
217. Fry? Leela?
You're in there, too?Copy !req
218. I guess we should
have waited in the ship.Copy !req
219. Listen up, everybody,Copy !req
220. I love Amy, and I'm tired
of pussyfootcupping around!Copy !req
221. I finally found someone
I want to spend
the rest of her life with.Copy !req
222. Amy,Copy !req
223. Will you marry me?Copy !req
224. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
225. Oh, I'm just glad I didn't
live to see this day.Copy !req
226. Hey, wait a second.Copy !req
227. No!Copy !req
228. So, it's a stone.
Is it real?Copy !req
229. Hooray!Copy !req
230. Hooray denied!Copy !req
231. Need I remind you that
robosexual marriage
is illegal?Copy !req
232. Not in Space,
Massachusetts.Copy !req
233. You mean
Space-tax-achusetts?Copy !req
234. No chance, stretch pants!
We're gonna fight to
legalize it right here!Copy !req
235. Yeah, man!
You got to legalize it!Copy !req
236. We're talking about
robosexual marriage.Copy !req
237. We're talking
about lots of stuff.Copy !req
238. Cool. Can you turn
into a race car?Copy !req
239. Nah, I'm just
a pre-op transformer.Copy !req
240. Thank you for coming,
everyone.Copy !req
241. We're all having some good,
clean fun here.Copy !req
242. Squeaky, squishy clean.Copy !req
243. But it's time to discuss
a pressing issue,Copy !req
244. the right to marry
who or what we want!Copy !req
245. Yeah!Copy !req
246. Legalize it!Copy !req
247. Every other couple
has the right to marry.Copy !req
248. Robot and fembot,
man and woman,Copy !req
249. man and man.Copy !req
250. Our poodle has two daddies.Copy !req
251. Interracial,
interplanetary,Copy !req
252. even ghost and horse,
but not robot and human!Copy !req
253. That's why we're introducing
this ballot initiativeCopy !req
254. to legalize
robosexual marriage!Copy !req
255. Yeah!Copy !req
256. Legalize it!Copy !req
257. If you hate intolerance
and being punched
in the face by me,Copy !req
258. please support
Proposition Infinity!Copy !req
259. As election day nears,
Prop Infinity appears
doomed to certain defeat.Copy !req
260. Doomed!Copy !req
261. More fair and
balanced coverageCopy !req
262. after a word
from our sponsor,Copy !req
263. No on Infinity.Copy !req
264. A storm is gathering.Copy !req
265. A storm of
robosexual marriageCopy !req
266. that will rain down on us
like fire.Copy !req
267. It's probably a firestorm.Copy !req
268. If robosexual
marriage becomes legal,Copy !req
269. imagine the horrible things
that will happen
to our children,Copy !req
270. then imagine
we said those things,Copy !req
271. since we couldn't
think of any.Copy !req
272. As a mother,
those things worry me.Copy !req
273. Vote no on Infinity.
Paid for by the
Farnsworth Foundation.Copy !req
274. We can't compete
against that much stock
footage of clouds!Copy !req
275. We're boned!Copy !req
276. But we still have one hope,
my big televised debate!Copy !req
277. I'm our A in the hole!Copy !req
278. Professor, who's debating
for your side?Copy !req
279. That guy, you know,
I forget his name.Copy !req
280. That's him!Copy !req
281. Good evening.
I'm George Takei's
head and neck,Copy !req
282. your host for
tonight's debate.
You may applaud.Copy !req
283. We flipped a coin
before the debate,Copy !req
284. and Bender stole it,
so we'll start with him.Copy !req
285. Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, I...Copy !req
286. Oops. Sorry,
force of habit.Copy !req
287. I support
this propositionCopy !req
288. because I love a goopy,
flesh-and-blood woman,Copy !req
289. and, not surprisingly,
she loves me.Copy !req
290. This is a simple
matter of justice,
which I'm not normally for.Copy !req
291. So, please, vote yes.Copy !req
292. After all,
our love isn't any
different from yours,Copy !req
293. except it's hotter,
'cause I'm involved.Copy !req
294. I haven't heard
such an eloquent speechCopy !req
295. since Bill Shatner explained
why he couldn't pay me back.Copy !req
296. Rebuttal, Professor?Copy !req
297. This $4 coffeepot
talks about love,Copy !req
298. but what he describes
is perversion!Copy !req
299. You wouldn't know perversion
if it put clamps
on your testicles!Copy !req
300. You're just jealous,
'cause you've never
known true love!Copy !req
301. Oh, no? Back when I was
full of piss and vinegar,
and my bed wasn't,Copy !req
302. I fell in love with
the sweetest girlCopy !req
303. ever to skip through
a field of posies.Copy !req
304. Her name was Eunice,Copy !req
305. and we spent
our blissful days
working in a lab,Copy !req
306. developing a poison to
wipe out that dreadful
posy infestation.Copy !req
307. I thought our love
would last forever.Copy !req
308. But then, 43 years later,
she left meCopy !req
309. for a robot!Copy !req
310. How could she do that
to me, her Farnypoo!Copy !req
311. That's it?
You hate robosexualsCopy !req
312. 'cause your girlfriend
left you for a robot?Copy !req
313. She didn't just
leave me for a robot,
she was a robot!Copy !req
314. Oh, God,
her name wasn't Eunice,
it was Unit!Copy !req
315. Unit 47!Copy !req
316. My heart was broken,
and like a bitter,
old picklepuss,Copy !req
317. I took it out on
robosexuals everywhere.
I'm so ashamed!Copy !req
318. At the risk of
losing this debate,Copy !req
319. I beg you, support
Proposition Infinity!Copy !req
320. Give me a hug!Copy !req
321. I, too,
am hugging them
in spirit.Copy !req
322. And now they're
hugging me back.
Oh, my.Copy !req
323. In a stunning turnabout,
voters have approved
Proposition Infinity.Copy !req
324. Robosexual marriage
is now legal.Copy !req
325. What's next,
gay robosexual marriage?Copy !req
326. We did it, honey!Copy !req
327. Finally, we can have
a legal, monogamous marriage,Copy !req
328. like everyone else!Copy !req
329. Yeah... Monogamous?Copy !req
330. And now,
a long-distance dedicationCopy !req
331. from a squishy, green bad boy
to his pink pork dumpling.Copy !req
332. At number 12,Copy !req
333. it's Wailing Fungus with
Shut Up and Love Me.Copy !req
334. Shut up and love me
Shut up and love meCopy !req
335. Shut up and love me
Shut up and love meCopy !req
336. I told you where
I told you whenCopy !req
337. I told you how
And we'll meet up at 10:00Copy !req
338. But you keep on talking
Keep on yakkingCopy !req
339. Shut up and love me
Shut up and love meCopy !req