1. Tonight at 11:00...Copy !req
2. Doom!Copy !req
3. Boy, that thing's big.Copy !req
4. Fry, is my colossal eye
too big?Copy !req
5. No, it's what
makes you you.Copy !req
6. But it's so round,
so hideously round.Copy !req
7. Leela, listen.Copy !req
8. You're the most
beautiful woman
I've ever known.Copy !req
9. Oh. So you only care
about my looks?Copy !req
10. No, I... What?Copy !req
11. Finally, New New York
got a blast of class todayCopy !req
12. as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the Robo-Hungarian Empire,Copy !req
13. arrived aboard
his extravagant
caviar-powered yacht.Copy !req
14. I am just
a humble emperorCopy !req
15. with a big,
big crown!Copy !req
16. Of course
I'm not planning to
steal that crown!Copy !req
17. What?
True.Copy !req
18. I've always dreamed
of being an emperor.Copy !req
19. You know, for Halloween,
and then forever.Copy !req
20. But heisting those jewels
would be difficult.Copy !req
21. You'd be stupid to try.Copy !req
22. I'll need accomplices.Copy !req
23. A sexy vamp to distract
and tie up the guard.Copy !req
24. Never!Copy !req
25. A claw man to slip past
the metal detectorCopy !req
26. and cut the alarm wires.Copy !req
27. Sorry,
I'm set for life
after that last job.Copy !req
28. And finally, a chump,Copy !req
29. to be caught on video
and later arrested.Copy !req
30. As I told you on
Sucker-Punch Day,Copy !req
31. I'm through being a chump.Copy !req
32. Of course,
it would all require
split-second robotic timing.Copy !req
33. That's where I come in.
You see, I own a watch.Copy !req
34. There. This time I'm sure
I've fixed the mind switcher.Copy !req
35. Good, I'm sick of
cleaning up those heaps
of dead monkeys.Copy !req
36. But why would
you want your mind
in a new body?Copy !req
37. Well, as a man
enters his 18th decade,Copy !req
38. he thinks back
on the mistakes
he's made in life.Copy !req
39. Like the heaps
of dead monkeys?Copy !req
40. Science cannot move forward
without heaps!Copy !req
41. No, what I regret
is the youth I wasted
playing it safe.Copy !req
42. I wasted my
youth porking out.Copy !req
43. Yes, I remember.Copy !req
44. Would you please
take that down?Copy !req
45. It's making me hungry.Copy !req
46. Funny, I could use
a little extra meat
on my bones.Copy !req
47. Wait a second!Copy !req
48. If we switched bodies,
I could live life
to the extreme,Copy !req
49. and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.Copy !req
50. We're just the people
this mind switcher was
made for by us!Copy !req
51. Wait, can I still
change my mind?Copy !req
52. Let's find out.Copy !req
53. Ah! Cartilage!Copy !req
54. Dude, I bid you
a fond cowabunga.Copy !req
55. I'm off to laugh
at the Reaper.Copy !req
56. Look out, world,
here I...Copy !req
57. I'm sorry, Amy,
but your body's
not up to the task.Copy !req
58. Also,
I don't care for these boobs
flapping every which way.Copy !req
59. Now, quit your
bologna-garglingCopy !req
60. and let's switch back
into our original bodies.Copy !req
61. Body-switching, eh?
Mayhap the heist is back on.Copy !req
62. Who needs accomplices,
if I can just
use their bodies?Copy !req
63. Professor,
what's not happening?Copy !req
64. Bad news, me.Copy !req
65. I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.Copy !req
66. You idiot!Copy !req
67. Once two bodies
have switched minds,Copy !req
68. they can never
switch back.Copy !req
69. However,
perhaps they can.Copy !req
70. Maybe we can swap back
using a third bodyCopy !req
71. for temporary storage space.Copy !req
72. I'm 60% storage space.Copy !req
73. You are?
I... Mmm?Copy !req
74. Well, I'm off to
the royal yachtCopy !req
75. for a quick
seduce-and-snatch.Copy !req
76. See you!
Now, then, AmyCopy !req
77. we'll simply switch bodies,
and then we'll...Copy !req
78. We'll...Copy !req
79. No, I'd be back
in my body,Copy !req
80. but then you and Bender
would be switched.Copy !req
81. And the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again,
since they just did.Copy !req
82. Oh, no!Copy !req
83. Is it possible to
get everyone backCopy !req
84. to normal using
four or more bodies?Copy !req
85. I'm not sure.Copy !req
86. I'm afraid we need to useCopy !req
87. math.Copy !req
88. Stupid air-needing lungs.Copy !req
89. The crown jewels.Copy !req
90. Now I just have
to locate the guard
and seduce him in...Copy !req
91. Four seconds?Copy !req
92. Who goes there?Copy !req
93. Three, two, one.Copy !req
94. Hello, big boy.Copy !req
95. Silence!
I am Basil,Copy !req
96. the Emperor's cousin
and chief of his royal guard.Copy !req
97. And I shall not
be seduced by a...Copy !req
98. I said...Copy !req
99. Professor?
What's the matter?Copy !req
100. I'm Amy.
The Professor and I
switched bodies.Copy !req
101. Oh, lord.Copy !req
102. All I wanted was to
gorge myself a little,Copy !req
103. but I can't digest anything
with these false teethCopy !req
104. and this hit-or-miss colon.Copy !req
105. At least you get
a senior discount
at the movies.Copy !req
106. I hate paying $14
to see Nicolas Cage
solve things.Copy !req
107. If you want to save $2,
we could switch bodies.Copy !req
108. Hmm. We can always
switch back, right?Copy !req
109. Hey, Leela.Copy !req
110. Mmm.
What smells saturated?Copy !req
111. Deep-fried ice cream sandwich
wrapped in frosting
and lightly baconed.Copy !req
112. Whoa. That sounds
like something Amy
would say and eat.Copy !req
113. I am Amy. Leela and I
used the Professor's
mind-switching machine.Copy !req
114. So Leela's
in your body?Copy !req
115. Not exactly.Copy !req
116. Aha! You do only
like me for my body!Copy !req
117. That is entirely
not true, sir!Copy !req
118. Now to go switch
bodies with Zoidberg,
sneak past the metal detectorCopy !req
119. and clip the alarm wires,
all in less than...Copy !req
120. Ten minutes ago? Oh!Copy !req
121. Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?Copy !req
122. Now, then,
what is a filthy human doing
aboard my royal yacht?Copy !req
123. With all due respect,
Your Majesty,
I'm a robot like you.Copy !req
124. I just switched bodies
with some bimbo.Copy !req
125. Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.Copy !req
126. A reverse Turing Test, eh?
Very good.Copy !req
127. What is the square root
of nine?Copy !req
128. Uh, hold on, let me
just get out a pencil.Copy !req
129. Okay, look,
I'm not that kind of robot.
I'm more this kind of robot.Copy !req
130. He steps forwards
but moves backwards.Copy !req
131. By the gods!
He is a machine!Copy !req
132. No, that won't
restore everyone, either.Copy !req
133. Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back!Copy !req
134. I'm running away with
this invincible robot body
and joining something.Copy !req
135. Look,
I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,Copy !req
136. and you're
barely giving me 12.
Now, crumple up and get in...Copy !req
137. And fasten your seatbelts.Copy !req
138. Come on!Copy !req
139. Good day.Copy !req
140. I am Nonchalanto,
the robot daredevil.Copy !req
141. And my dream is to
risk my life in strange
and original ways.Copy !req
142. Hmm. You don't look
so foolhardy to me.Copy !req
143. That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.Copy !req
144. You're hired!Copy !req
145. So you're a common
bending robot,Copy !req
146. with a human
peasant roommate?Copy !req
147. Oh, crap,
that is what I am!Copy !req
148. No, Bender, I envy you.Copy !req
149. I'm so bored
with all these
pretentious trappings.Copy !req
150. The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.Copy !req
151. Hello.Copy !req
152. My fiancée,
Princess Flavia.Copy !req
153. Dearest, meet Bender.
He's a robot in the body of
a Chinese Martian physicist.Copy !req
154. How tedious.Copy !req
155. Oh, to escape this
gilded cage for a day.Copy !req
156. You know,
we could trade bodies.Copy !req
157. I could take over
the humdrum royal stuff,Copy !req
158. and you could be
a regular Joe for a day.Copy !req
159. Or more. Much more.Copy !req
160. In that horrid
non-robot body?
Sir, I have my standards.Copy !req
161. Ah, but what if I could
put you in my fabulous
bending-robot body?Copy !req
162. Me, posing
as a lowly bending unit?Copy !req
163. How wicked!Copy !req
164. But wait, I'm supposed
to give a speech
at the U. N. Tomorrow.Copy !req
165. Can I trust you to do it?Copy !req
166. You can trust anything.Copy !req
167. So now Leela's
all crotchetyCopy !req
168. because she thinks
I'm not attracted to her
in the Professor's body.Copy !req
169. You aren't, are you?
Of course not!Copy !req
170. But I was willing
to lie about it.
What more can a man do?Copy !req
171. A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.Copy !req
172. Yes! I could put my mind
into a hideous bodyCopy !req
173. and show Leela she's
not attracted to me.Copy !req
174. But it would have to be
a really, really
disgusting body.Copy !req
175. Friends! Friends!
I've got barnacles
on my tuchus.Copy !req
176. The long search is over.Copy !req
177. Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.Copy !req
178. Professor?Copy !req
179. Leela. Amy?Copy !req
180. Bender.
Have you seen my body?Copy !req
181. I think
the Professor's in it.Copy !req
182. Yeah, he said something
about running away.Copy !req
183. Then he ran away.Copy !req
184. What? Whither?Copy !req
185. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
186. I got an emperor
all patsied up to
switch bodies,Copy !req
187. but only with
another robot!Copy !req
188. Washbucket full.Copy !req
189. Scruffy's work here
is done.Copy !req
190. Now to find Emperor
Von Richendoof.Copy !req
191. Now to find Scruffy.Copy !req
192. Switch bodies?
I don't see why not.Copy !req
193. I also don't see why.Copy !req
194. In your face, Leela.Copy !req
195. If you're a bender,
why is your body
full of fetid water?Copy !req
196. If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?Copy !req
197. Move it, Fry!Copy !req
198. Well, so long.
Wait!Copy !req
199. Point me to my
normal human roommate!Copy !req
200. That's him there.
Maybe.Copy !req
201. Got to go!Copy !req
202. Robot?Copy !req
203. Yes, 'tis I, Bender.Copy !req
204. Do you not recognize
your own best friend?Copy !req
205. Aha! The guy in this body
has a friend!Copy !req
206. Bender, old pal!
It's me, the Fry!Copy !req
207. But then Nicolas Cage
discovered the real
treasure was his family.Copy !req
208. Yes, I'll hold.Copy !req
209. Hey, Leela, look!
I'm in Zoidberg!Copy !req
210. Fry?Copy !req
211. You're not so shallowCopy !req
212. that you find me repulsive
because of my body, are you?Copy !req
213. Not at all.Copy !req
214. Amy? Stop it!Copy !req
215. Fry, help!
She's turning me
into a parade float.Copy !req
216. Ew! Look at her!Copy !req
217. Oh. So you're so shallow
that my body disgusts youCopy !req
218. if it puts on
a little extra weight?Copy !req
219. That wasn't
a little extra weight.Copy !req
220. Admit it!
You don't care about
the inner me at all!Copy !req
221. No, you admit it!Copy !req
222. You'd be ashamed
to be seen in publicCopy !req
223. with someone as
hideous as me!Copy !req
224. Would not!
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
225. Then I challenge you
to a romantic dinner
at Elzar's tonight.Copy !req
226. It's on.Copy !req
227. Sweet orca of Majorca!Copy !req
228. You make Fat Albert look
like Normal Albert!Copy !req
229. I don't know what to do.Copy !req
230. Do you think I
should eat more butter?Copy !req
231. I am putting a stop
to this right now!Copy !req
232. Come on.
We're switching bodies.Copy !req
233. Hermes, no!
I'll ruin your body, too!Copy !req
234. Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.Copy !req
235. You make
quite a show, young man.Copy !req
236. You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.Copy !req
237. Big Bertha is
the circus's grande dame.Copy !req
238. She shoots robots
through the air.Copy !req
239. Excuse me.
Too much goulash.Copy !req
240. I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.Copy !req
241. How about a quick
blast after lunch?Copy !req
242. Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.Copy !req
243. But, ah, to amaze
the crowd once more.Copy !req
244. I understand
the problems of age,Copy !req
245. but suppose I could
put you in a new body?Copy !req
246. Never! My body may be old,
but it is mine,Copy !req
247. and every crack
a memory of heavy things
shot a long way.Copy !req
248. Good day!Copy !req
249. I have
everything I ever wanted.
Money, wealth, riches.Copy !req
250. Yet something's missing.Copy !req
251. A hot princess with
whom to get grizzly.Copy !req
252. Hello.
Hello, baby!Copy !req
253. Huh? Hey,
what's going on here?Copy !req
254. And why are you kissing
my dashing cousin
instead of me?Copy !req
255. Nikolai,
you imperial fool.Copy !req
256. We've been having
an affair for 700 years.Copy !req
257. At long last,
I shall kill you,
blame the burglarCopy !req
258. and inherit the throne.Copy !req
259. Farewell, Nikolai.Copy !req
260. Wait! I'm not Nikolai!Copy !req
261. I'm Bender,
the fabulous
body-switching burglar.Copy !req
262. So you are.
However, you do
have Nikolai's body,Copy !req
263. and that's the part
we want to kill.Copy !req
264. Great food, huh?Copy !req
265. Ew!Copy !req
266. I'm sorry, Leela.Copy !req
267. I hope that didn't make you
ashamed to be seen with me.Copy !req
268. No, it only makes
you more attractive.Copy !req
269. Ew!Copy !req
270. Oh! Did my bodily
infirmity embarrass you?Copy !req
271. Not at all.Copy !req
272. It's just another thing
that makes you
a very special lady.Copy !req
273. You mean, like my penis?Copy !req
274. Admit it!
You're disgusted by me!Copy !req
275. No,
you're disgusted by me!Copy !req
276. I'm as attracted to
you as I've ever been!Copy !req
277. Prove it!Copy !req
278. Well, Bender,
here's our apartment
that we live in every day.Copy !req
279. A floor?
We live like kings!Copy !req
280. Kings? Silence!Copy !req
281. Like you, I'm a common lout.Copy !req
282. Now fetch me some
working-class cognacCopy !req
283. from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.Copy !req
284. Uh...Copy !req
285. Relax, Bender.Copy !req
286. I'll dry up that leak
with this heating box.Copy !req
287. Ah, cigars.
Light me up, old friend.Copy !req
288. There you are,
Emperor Nikolai.Copy !req
289. It's time for your
speech to the U. N.Copy !req
290. What now?Copy !req
291. Miss Wong?Copy !req
292. No, Scruffy,
I am Washbucket.Copy !req
293. I love you.
Washbucket has
always loved you.Copy !req
294. This is wrong, Washbucket.Copy !req
295. Oh, it would be
sweet for a while,Copy !req
296. but in the back of our minds,
we'd know that I'm a manCopy !req
297. and you're
janitorial equipment.Copy !req
298. In another city,
we could be anyone we want!Copy !req
299. Go. Go now,Copy !req
300. before I beg you to stay.Copy !req
301. Yep.Copy !req
302. Please welcome
an insane dictator,
and one heck of a bowler,Copy !req
303. Emperor Nikolai!Copy !req
304. Thanks, Nixon.
How we doing?Copy !req
305. I love you,
Your Majesty!Copy !req
306. Shut up, Madame Ambassador!
I know it!Copy !req
307. Anyhow,Copy !req
308. I'd now like to digress
from my prepared remarksCopy !req
309. to say I'm done!Copy !req
310. Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!Copy !req
311. I shall enjoy this.Copy !req
312. Not me!Copy !req
313. That devil, Basil,
will kill our emperor.Copy !req
314. You're Robo-Hungarian?Copy !req
315. Yes. Our nation's
chief export is carnies.Copy !req
316. If only there were some way
I could get to the U. N.
To help.Copy !req
317. There is.
Get in, Nonchalanto.Copy !req
318. Bertha, no!
It would kill you!Copy !req
319. I have not so much
time left anyhow.Copy !req
320. But you could get a new body!
You could have a rich,
full life!Copy !req
321. I am trying to have
a rich, full life!Copy !req
322. Long live Robo-Hungary!Copy !req
323. Me!
Thank God you've come!Copy !req
324. This is for Big Bertha!Copy !req
325. That is not what
I meant to give you
for Big Bertha.Copy !req
326. That was nice.Copy !req
327. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
328. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
329. Whoever you are,
you're the bravest robot
I've ever seen.Copy !req
330. I like killing brave things.Copy !req
331. Good!
Because I've got 20
of them per cubic meter.Copy !req
332. When I grow up,
I want to be a diplomat!Copy !req
333. Well, if there's one
thing I've learned,
it's a lesson.Copy !req
334. I believe this
belongs to you.Copy !req
335. I shall sell it to
help the common folk,Copy !req
336. now that I understand
their misery.Copy !req
337. Yeah, good luck with that.Copy !req
338. I must say, Hermes,
you've got
a smoking-hot body.Copy !req
339. I was inspired by Amy.Copy !req
340. Wow! How'd you do it?
Well,Copy !req
341. there I was at Elzar's,
eating a nice pork sundae,Copy !req
342. and suddenly,
I just lost my appetite.Copy !req
343. Forever.Copy !req
344. Q to the E to the D!Copy !req
345. So it is possible for
us all to get back to
our original bodies?Copy !req
346. Stone-cold munching, Prof.Copy !req
347. Sweet Clyde,
characterize your
inversion theorem.Copy !req
348. Basically, no matter
how permuted-up
your minds are,Copy !req
349. they can be restored using,
at most, two extra players.Copy !req
350. And they say
pure math has no
real-world applications!Copy !req
351. Everybody back
in their zones?Copy !req
352. Yes sir!
Yes!Copy !req
353. Ah! My body may be old,
but it is mine.Copy !req
354. Brilliant work, Clyde!Copy !req
355. You'll win the NBA's highest
academic honor for this.Copy !req
356. Also,
I'm making you a duke.Copy !req
357. So long, filthy commoners!Copy !req
358. ¡Adiós!Copy !req
359. And I'm left
with the real jewels
safely inside...Copy !req
360. His compartment?Copy !req
361. All right.
I'll need accomplices.Copy !req