Futurama 5x7

Directed by Bret Haaland

The crew's attempts to de-age Professor Farnsworth result in everyone returning to their more youthful stages. While Farnsworth seeks out a way to re-age the crew, the newly-teenaged Leela takes the opportunity to experience the parental childhood she never had.

Request examples:

!req Futurama 5x7 [02:32]
!req Futurama 5x7 [Futurama 5x7]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Futurama 5x7 [10-11]; !req Futurama 5x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Pazuzu, you ungrateful gargoyle!

2. I put you through college, and this is how you repay me?

3. Let's get this gargoyle hunt on the road.

4. Driving gloves, driving goggles, driving thong. There.

5. Uh, maybe I should drive.

6. You? A woman?

7. I'm trying to catch a monster,

8. not find the quickest route to the mall!

9. Let me just adjust the seat...

10. Whoa! Oh!

11. My God, he's going to do it.

12. Everyone, seat belts to maximum buckling!

13. Pazuzu!

14. Oh, Pazuzu!

15. Hey, grandpa, move your wrinkly old keister!

16. Shut up!

17. For Heaven's Gate, Professor this ship can do 99% light speed.

18. Why are we going 35 miles an hour?

19. Because we're in a hurry, that's why!

20. Plus, you have the high beams on.

21. I can't quite read the sign.

22. Pazuzu!

23. Pazuzu!

24. Yo, Captain Cataracts.

25. What are we doing here?

26. Oh, it's 2:30.

27. We can still catch the early bird dinner special.

28. Uh, aren't we looking for your gargoyle?

29. My wha...

30. Hello, Mavis.

31. Surprised to see me back again so soon?

32. Mavis is dead.

33. I expect you'll want to see my Angry, Crotchety Grandpa Discount Card.

34. Sir, this card is expired.

35. But it's good for a lifetime.

36. Well, yours expired.

37. Ooh.

38. Oh, Lord.

39. Teeth do not belong in your pants, Professor.

40. Well, I can't keep them in my mouth.

41. They're nuclear-powered!

42. Ow! It bit my finger!

43. No! No! It's tasted human blood.

44. Mm...

45. Damn good meat.

46. Professor, we've talked it over, and everybody thinks you're too old.

47. - Right on. - Yep.

48. We've decided to do the merciful thing

49. and have you youth-a-sized.

50. Dear God, no!

51. Oh, relax, Professor.

52. Youth-a-sizing is a trendy new spa treatment.

53. It's this season's shark cartilage enema.

54. But I like being old.

55. I don't have to talk to my parents,

56. no one asks me to help move their stuff.

57. I don't need to understand today's edgy TV sitcoms...

58. Okay, okay. We're not going to force you until I finish this sentence.

59. Get him!

60. My thong!

61. Hi, I'm Heather, your personal youth-a-sizer.

62. Let's get started with a nice botulism treatment, shall we?

63. Go to hell, Heather!

64. Oh.

65. In small doses, botulism toxin tightens and tones the facial muscles

66. instead of killing you in the most horrible fashion imaginable.

67. Give me back my floppy face.

68. Oh! Whoo! Ooh!

69. Careful with the giblets!

70. Mm, you're still retaining a lot of grump in these joints.

71. More pressure.

72. Aah...

73. Since this is such a serious case of old,

74. we'll have to try our strongest treatment,

75. a soothing, full-body bath in searing hot tar.

76. Sir, it's not necessary, or wise, to be naked.

77. You sound just like my tennis instructor.

78. The tar blisters the age right out of the body

79. in what top scientists suspect is a miracle.

80. Oh, I don't have time for this!

81. I have to go buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it,

82. making people wait behind me while I complain!

83. He still sounds sort of old.

84. Sort of real old.

85. Step aside, lady.

86. Like everything else in life,

87. pumping is just a primitive, degenerate form of bending.

88. Whoa! Whoo!

89. Oh! Whoa!

90. ,

91. Come on, Bender, pump harder! Harder!

92. I'm trying as hard as I can.

93. Harder, damn you!

94. Well, that was an utter waste of time.

95. Professor, it worked!

96. You look young enough to be my father.

97. Poodle spit!

98. 53 years old?

99. Now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultraporn.

100. This is cool, Professor.

101. We should go out and celebrate.

102. - Oh, my God. - Huh?

103. Dear Lord, you've all reverted to your childhood forms.

104. Hooray, I'm a teenage heartthrob again!

105. While I try to restore our normal ages

106. I expect you all to go about your jobs like responsible professionals.

107. It wasn't me, Mr. F.

108. It was Amy.

109. - Stop it, Amy. - You stink!

110. You know you did it.

111. Quiet! Quiet, I say!

112. We're here to take my little stub of a husband home.

113. Hermes, say goodbye to Mr. Farnsworth.

114. Goodbye, Mr. Dumbsworth.

115. Hey, this is my chance to spend time with my parents, too.

116. But your parents are gross sewer mutants.

117. Ow!

118. When I was an orphan, I always wished

119. I could grow up with my mom and dad.

120. And now, thanks to being hurled backwards in time...

121. That's not what happened!

122. Shut up and go live with your parents!

123. It's going to be totally awesome, Mom.

124. You and me can bake

125. and argue about my hairstyle hiding my pretty face.

126. And if some kid picks on me,

127. my dad can beat up his dad!

128. Can't I just beat up the kid?

129. Well, okay, Leela.

130. If you think you can put up with your father,

131. then welcome home.

132. We'll try to respect your independence and freedom.

133. No! I want the real teen experience.

134. Chores, curfew, the works!

135. Fine, sweetiekins. We'll be the strictest parents ever.

136. Now, let's all have some tequila to celebrate.

137. Dad! I'm underage!

138. Oh, right.

139. Here's a Silly Straw.

140. Oh, my Amy is sweet little girl again.

141. This like a mother's dream.

142. Bad dream, that is.

143. At this rate, I'm never going to get a grandchild! Ugh!

144. Maybe she not grown up, but she sure grown out.

145. She fat.

146. Dad, if you're going to make fat jokes till I get cute again,

147. I'm just going to stay in my room.

148. Stay in room? You so fat, you going to stay all around room.

149. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth.

150. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork

151. every three hours.

152. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks.

153. Now I have to pay them!

154. I'm tired of your yapping!

155. All you ever do is complain.

156. You never try to make things better.

157. Well, I'm running away from this dead-end family.

158. I know there's a place for people like me, with new ideas.

159. There has to be!

160. Fine. Get going.

161. Oh, I'm going.

162. And you're going to be all, "Where's Bender?

163. "I miss Bender."

164. We won't know that until you leave.

165. Oh, I'm leaving.

166. There's the door.

167. I'll be good.

168. Do you have to shed your skin on the couch?

169. What do we live in, a zoo?

170. I'm getting the doorbell.

171. For me?

172. Oh, hello, sir.

173. It's a lovely evening you have tonight.

174. Um, I'm here to pick up your daughter.

175. Hi, Fry.

176. I like your blazer.

177. Thanks. These aren't pockets, they're just flaps.

178. I put my money in my sock.

179. So, where are you taking my daughter tonight?

180. A movie.

181. A... A movie, ma'am.

182. Well, whatever you're really doing,

183. don't wake us if you get in after 12:00.

184. Dad! You're being too lenient again.

185. I have to be back by 11:00.

186. Okay, Okay. You're the boss.

187. No, I'm not!

188. I'd like a sewer burger, but without the rat feces.

189. What, are you on a diet?

190. Duh, Leela, you look hot.

191. Geez, Moose, just dump me right in front of her, why don't you?

192. Moose, Mandy, this is my friend Fry,

193. from the surface?

194. Oh, so this is the famous Fry.

195. What is he, like, the biggest loser on the surface

196. so he has to hang out in the sewer?

197. They're on to me.

198. Hey, come on.

199. Let's act like grown-ups here. Want to race?

200. Duh, yeah.

201. Theres.

202. The world's drinkings water is safes for another days.

203. Whoas! Cripe!

204. Watch out, Fry!

205. We missed the turn! We'll never catch them!

206. Yes, we will!

207. This sewer goes right under Planet Express

208. and it's 9:00 p.m.!

209. The devil take this predictable colon!

210. Whoo-hoo!

211. Whoo-hoo! All right!

212. Leela, you can stop winning now. We won.

213. I'm too short to reach the hand brake!

214. That's detention.

215. And then, and then a giant tapeworm tried to play us for chumps!

216. But we, like, totally dissed Moose.

217. Yes, I'd like to meet this "Moose."

218. But in the meantime, I have good news.

219. I may have solved our age problem.

220. Yay!

221. It seems the youth-a-sizing tar was saturated

222. with time-altering chronitons.

223. A thin layer is still stuck to our DNA

224. as well as Bender's "Robo," or "RNA."

225. - Question? - Yes?

226. You stink.

227. Yes, yes. Anyhow, I've designed an oil-eating bacterium

228. that should take the tar right off.

229. Come on, let's go tell Leela so we can grow up together.

230. Thanks, Professor, but I don't want the treatment.

231. Don't you understand, you little nitwit?

232. Unless you're treated soon,

233. the only way to restore your true age will be to grow into it,

234. just as God intended!

235. He has a point, honey.

236. What about your job and your friends?

237. Do you really want to abandon your old life?

238. My old life wasn't as glamorous as my Web page made it look.

239. All I ever wanted was to grow up here, with you.

240. Please?

241. Well, if it's what you really want...

242. It is. I know it is.

243. I'll miss you, Leela.

244. I'll come back and visit when I'm all grown up.

245. Bring beer.

246. No beer till you finish your tequila.

247. The age-restoring microbes are ready.

248. Everyone into the Bacterial Spew Chamber.

249. Let's go!

250. Yes, everyone do the same thing.

251. Initiating controlled infection.

252. Aah-choo!

253. I'm no doctor,

254. but this machine guy could use a lozenge.

255. Aw, poo.

256. We're even younger.

257. Damn! The bacteria pigged out on the tar

258. and now they're getting freaky-deaky,

259. spreading chronitons throughout our systems.

260. We're getting younger by the minute!

261. - No! - Yikes!

262. What, I'm going to revert through all my larval stages?

263. Word. We'll all keep getting younger and younger

264. until we suffer a fate worse than death,

265. pre-life!

266. Then, death.

267. I've got to stop this reverse aging

268. before we all shrivel up and suffer the agony of unbirth!

269. Think, you disco duck, think!

270. What's that squirmle under your shirt?

271. Oh, get off me, you parasitic lamprey!

272. Oh, sure, you need all your blood.

273. Would you all chill?

274. I can't think with you kids cramping my style!

275. Ooh, I need a babysitter.

276. Okay, quiet time.

277. I know.

278. Everyone pretend a goblin ate your tongues

279. and I'll read you a story.

280. - Ooh, story! - A story!

281. I can't see from down here, I can't.

282. There.

283. Today's story is from Muteen magazine.

284. Who would you rather hear about?

285. Four-legged Chachi or tentacle Chachi?

286. I wanna hear a space story.

287. It's kind of a baby book, but okay, let's see.

288. "Snow White Dwarf and the Seven Red Dwarfs"

289. "Charlotte's Tholian Web"

290. "The Fountain of Aging."

291. The Fountain of Aging?

292. Hmm, it is just a legend.

293. Still, they called the Tooth Fairy a legend

294. and now he's head of the FBI.

295. 'Sup? Kids ready?

296. Yay, Professy's back!

297. Ew, you smell like smoking...

298. And drinking.

299. I had a few beers, but I'm cool to drive.

300. I wish I could come with you to say goodbye

301. before you all turn back into grown-ups.

302. But I'm grounded for knocking the school over.

303. Who cares, Leela?

304. It was just a public school.

305. Now, go with your friends, please.

306. No! A grounded teenager must be confined to her room!

307. Until she sneaks out.

308. When I grow up, I wanna be a steam shovel.

309. According to this, the fountain is located

310. in the darkest, most ancient region of space,

311. just past Teddy Bear Junction.

312. Teddy Bear Junction,

313. the worst scum hole in the galaxy.

314. This solar system is, like, way old!

315. Look how high the asteroid belt is pulled up on that planet.

316. News flash!

317. Everything's getting older

318. the closer we get to that ancient burnt-out sun.

319. Dude! The Fountain of Aging must be on the sun itself!

320. Shut up! I was gonna say that.

321. We've got to hurry.

322. The kids have only one change of pants!

323. We gotta be real, real careful to stay in

324. just long enough to make us our right ages again.

325. Whee!

326. Zoidberg, get out of there!

327. The current! It's too much already! Help!

328. Jeepers.

329. Zoidberg is dead!

330. No, Zoidberg's brother is dead.

331. Funny story, I just reverted to the age

332. when my siblings budded from me

333. and my brother Norman split off and jumped in the fountain.

334. He always had to be the center of attention!

335. - Good riddance! - Let him go!

336. Oh, no!

337. Quick! Get them into the fountain!

338. Thanks for the help, Weewa.

339. Once we're growed up, you can go back to your famwy.

340. We'll never bother you again.

341. Well, you could bother me a little.

342. Ooh... Oh!

343. It's working! Hooray!

344. I can't hold on!

345. I'm coming in after you!

346. No, Leela!

347. You can't give you up your childhood!

348. You'll never have another chance at it!

349. We did it! We're the right ages again.

350. I think I might be a couple years younger!

351. Oh, me, too!

352. Help!

353. I'm still in mid-peril, you clods!

354. He's too far out! We can't reach him!

355. With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!

356. Pazuzu!

357. Oh, you came back to me!

358. Are you back to your original age, Professor?

359. Even older!

360. Huzzah!

361. I'm sorry you had to give up being a kid, Leela.

362. Well, I guess every adult wants to be a kid again sometimes

363. but I worked hard to be the person I am.

364. The fabulous person!

365. With friends like you guys...

366. Fabulous friends!

367. Mm. And I'm really happy I have that life back.

368. And you, my faithful fiend,

369. how can I ever repay you?

370. And that, little one,

371. is how Papa gain his freedom.

372. Now, bonne nuit.

373. Bonne nuit to you all.