1. For my next trick,
notice I have nothing up my sleevesCopy !req
2. and nothing in my head.Copy !req
3. So, if my lovely assistant
will kindly supply meCopy !req
4. with an ordinary,
non-fake pitcher of milk...Copy !req
5. Behold! The milk has vanished.Copy !req
6. Exiled, perhaps, to another dimension.Copy !req
7. Amazing.Copy !req
8. That's why they call you
Bender the Magnificent.Copy !req
9. No, it isn't.Copy !req
10. Whoa.Copy !req
11. They discovered an intact
20th-century pizzeria,Copy !req
12. just like the one I used to work at.Copy !req
13. Interesting.Copy !req
14. No, wait, the other thing.Copy !req
15. Tedious.Copy !req
16. Let's go check it out.Copy !req
17. You can see how I lived before I met you.Copy !req
18. You lived before you met me?Copy !req
19. Sure, lots of people did.Copy !req
20. Really?Copy !req
21. Truly, they were as gods,
who built this place.Copy !req
22. Next,Copy !req
23. we come to the splendidly preserved
wooden pizza paddle.Copy !req
24. Scientists theorizeCopy !req
25. it was used to gently
discipline the delivery boy.Copy !req
26. Wait a second.Copy !req
27. This is Panucci's.Copy !req
28. I used to work in this exact pizzeria.Copy !req
29. And for your information, lady,Copy !req
30. this was not just used to paddle my butt.Copy !req
31. It was also used to move pizzas
and crush rats.Copy !req
32. I don't know
where you get your facts, sir,Copy !req
33. but I am a volunteer housewife
with 45 minutes of orientationCopy !req
34. and a Harlequin romance
about archaeologists.Copy !req
35. Don't wave your fancy degrees at me.Copy !req
36. I recognize all this stuff.Copy !req
37. Petrified sausages,Copy !req
38. old Mr. Vitelli,Copy !req
39. and that's...Copy !req
40. Yes?Copy !req
41. Pizza delivery for a Mr...Copy !req
42. Seymour Asses.Copy !req
43. There's no one by that name here.Copy !req
44. Or anywhere.Copy !req
45. I hope that in time
you'll realize what an idiot you've been.Copy !req
46. I wouldn't count on that.Copy !req
47. Aw. Poor little guy.Copy !req
48. You look like
you haven't eaten in a month.Copy !req
49. Here.Copy !req
50. But if Mr. Panucci asks,
your name is Seymour Asses.Copy !req
51. I like you, Seymour.Copy !req
52. You're not constantly judging me
like all the other dogs.Copy !req
53. Are you?Copy !req
54. Nah. We understand each other.Copy !req
55. People think you're just
a dumb mutt who smells bad,Copy !req
56. can't find a girlfriend
and has a crummy job.Copy !req
57. But you're keeping it real
and you call no man "mister."Copy !req
58. Well, goodbye.Copy !req
59. Live long and prosper.Copy !req
60. Blech.Copy !req
61. That's the least appetizing
calzone I've ever seen.Copy !req
62. No, that's my dog in there.Copy !req
63. It's an outrage, I say.Copy !req
64. Hey...Copy !req
65. Ow.Copy !req
66. I'm taking him home and I'd like to see
anyone try and stop me. Uh-oh.Copy !req
67. And then he was ejected by the guards.Copy !req
68. Needless to say, I was mortified.Copy !req
69. Well, it's not right to make
my dead pet an exhibit.Copy !req
70. That's like digging up LassieCopy !req
71. and putting her on display in the Louvre.Copy !req
72. Lassie is on display in the Louvre.Copy !req
73. I know.Copy !req
74. I was deliberately describing
a similar situation.Copy !req
75. Why don't you try protesting?Copy !req
76. Like those native Martians.Copy !req
77. Always whining that people don't treat
their ancestors bones with respect.Copy !req
78. Eh, protesting never works.Copy !req
79. You're right.Copy !req
80. I'll give it a shot.Copy !req
81. What do you want?Copy !req
82. Fry's dog!Copy !req
83. When do you want it?Copy !req
84. Fry's dog!Copy !req
85. I will now perform
my people's native dance.Copy !req
86. Do the Hustle...Copy !req
87. It says here that this part of The HustleCopy !req
88. implores the gods to grant a favor,
usually a Trans Am.Copy !req
89. I'm walking on sunshine, oh-ohCopy !req
90. I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-ohCopy !req
91. That-a-boy, Seymour.Copy !req
92. Right here waiting for me as always.Copy !req
93. Just like that huge mushroom in my shower.Copy !req
94. Hey, there's our little mascot.Copy !req
95. Aw, you've been swimming
in the sewer again?Copy !req
96. You rascal.Copy !req
97. Fry, clean up.Copy !req
98. Seymour, clean up.Copy !req
99. Good dog.Copy !req
100. That's a good Seymour.Copy !req
101. Yo, there's dog fur on my slice.Copy !req
102. Nah, that's vermicelli.Copy !req
103. No fur in here.Copy !req
104. He's so cute.Copy !req
105. He can do two things at one time,
eat and swim.Copy !req
106. Ooh, three things.Copy !req
107. Fry, it's been three days.Copy !req
108. You can't keep boogying like this.Copy !req
109. You'll come down with a fever
of some sort.Copy !req
110. Mr. Fry, I'm Dr. Ben Beeler,Copy !req
111. the paleontologist
who discovered your dog,Copy !req
112. or as some call it, the Beelersaurus.Copy !req
113. So do I get Seymour back?Copy !req
114. Are you caving to political pressure?Copy !req
115. No. We're sorry,Copy !req
116. but there's just
too much that fossil can teach usCopy !req
117. about dogs from your time.Copy !req
118. His name was Seymour.Copy !req
119. He was once intimate with the leg
of a wandering saxophonist.Copy !req
120. He had wet dog smell, even when dry.Copy !req
121. And he was not above chasing
the Number 29 bus.Copy !req
122. The 29? Interesting.Copy !req
123. - That's all I needed. Ray?
- I'm good.Copy !req
124. Okay, then, here's your dog back.Copy !req
125. Seymour!Copy !req
126. Lady and gentleman,Copy !req
127. how about a hand for my
temporary replacement assistant!Copy !req
128. I was all in this part.Copy !req
129. It's magic.Copy !req
130. You're not fit to wear Fry's leotard!Copy !req
131. Stop!Copy !req
132. Good news, everyone.Copy !req
133. Hooray, he's back!Copy !req
134. And he's looking
for a garbage can to put the rock in.Copy !req
135. Here you go, buddy.Copy !req
136. No, actually we've discovered
that Fry's dog was fast-fossilized,Copy !req
137. preserving its cellular structure.Copy !req
138. Which means we can clone it.Copy !req
139. Seymour will live again!Copy !req
140. A little land mammal.Copy !req
141. Can you believe it, Bender?Copy !req
142. I'm going to havemy best friend back.Copy !req
143. Why the idiot convention?Copy !req
144. Ah, Cubert, my precious babe.Copy !req
145. I'm going to attempt to clone Fry's dogCopy !req
146. using the very same apparatus
I used to clone you.Copy !req
147. Ooh, look.Copy !req
148. There's a smidge of toe still in here.Copy !req
149. You see, beneath the fossil's
crunchy mineral shell,Copy !req
150. there's still a creamy core of dog nougat.Copy !req
151. So will Seymour remember
how to sing Walking on Sunshine?Copy !req
152. Amazingly, yes.Copy !req
153. In cases of rapid fossilization,
I can press this brain-scan button,Copy !req
154. retrieving Seymour's memories
at the precise instant of doggy death.Copy !req
155. I'm going to get my puppy back.Copy !req
156. In your face, Grim Reaper!Copy !req
157. Crappy, ineffective reaper.Copy !req
158. I just need to reset
the Clone-o-Mat from human modeCopy !req
159. to dog mode.Copy !req
160. The dog says...Copy !req
161. Oh-oh, this may take a while.Copy !req
162. You stink, loser!Copy !req
163. Hey, Fry, pizza going out.Copy !req
164. Come on!Copy !req
165. But I'm celebrating New Year's Eve.Copy !req
166. Like you got squat to celebrate.Copy !req
167. You're a delivery boy this millenniumCopy !req
168. and you'll be a delivery boy
next millennium.Copy !req
169. What's with Seymour?Copy !req
170. It's like he don't want you to goCopy !req
171. or he thinks your pants
is too short or something,Copy !req
172. which is crazy,
because frankly, you look fabulous.Copy !req
173. Now get going!Copy !req
174. I won't be gone long, Seymour.Copy !req
175. Just wait here till I come back.Copy !req
176. Hello, pizza delivery for...Copy !req
177. Aw, crud.Copy !req
178. Here's to another lousy millennium.Copy !req
179. Five, four,Copy !req
180. three, two...Copy !req
181. What the...Copy !req
182. A dog collar for me?Copy !req
183. You shouldn't have.Copy !req
184. That's for Seymour.Copy !req
185. Oh.Copy !req
186. Say, why'd you get me
a subscription to the Daily Growl?Copy !req
187. That's not a reputable journal of opinion.Copy !req
188. Oh, that's also for Seymour.Copy !req
189. I'm getting everything
ready for when he's cloned.Copy !req
190. Are you on the junk, Fry?Copy !req
191. Why are you wasting time
on a creature of inferior intelligence?Copy !req
192. Hey, he was smart. He could fetch.Copy !req
193. I can fetch.Copy !req
194. He could dig up bones.Copy !req
195. Hello. Charlemagne?Copy !req
196. Plus, I bet he couldn't create
a laser show with his head.Copy !req
197. Look, Bender,
this has nothing to do with you.Copy !req
198. That's impossible!Copy !req
199. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm working on Seymour's doghouse.Copy !req
200. No one ever asks if Bender
would like to liveCopy !req
201. in a tiny little house.Copy !req
202. Not that I would.Copy !req
203. A tiny little house
that says "Bender" on it.Copy !req
204. Ow!Copy !req
205. This is Fry.Copy !req
206. If you're calling
about the used towels for sale,Copy !req
207. they're still available for $45 each.Copy !req
208. Phil, it's your father. Where are you?Copy !req
209. You're holding up New Year's brunch.Copy !req
210. Your brother can't wait any longer.Copy !req
211. Hello, first bologna
of the new millennium.Copy !req
212. Ah, here he comes.Copy !req
213. That's him and Seymour.Copy !req
214. Well, that's weird.Copy !req
215. Seymour's here, but...Copy !req
216. Go! Go! Touchdown!Copy !req
217. But where's Philip?Copy !req
218. I'm telling you,
the Y2K computer's got him.Copy !req
219. We'll face burning roads,
rivers exploding,Copy !req
220. calculators transformed
into Scud missiles.Copy !req
221. There's nothing we can do.Copy !req
222. What's that, Seymour?Copy !req
223. You walking on sunshine?Copy !req
224. He's trying to tell us something.
Maybe he can lead us to Philip.Copy !req
225. Should we follow him?Copy !req
226. To our deaths? Negatory.Copy !req
227. It's the Y2K trying to lure us
into an ambush, and I ain't buying it.Copy !req
228. Pass the bologna.Copy !req
229. Are you two going to be done soon?Copy !req
230. Sorry, but we need to practice
hand-to-hand combatCopy !req
231. in case an enemy knocks the laser gunsCopy !req
232. out of our hands
and they slide way across the room.Copy !req
233. Well, could you do it someplace else?Copy !req
234. I'm setting up Seymour'sdoggie bed.Copy !req
235. - Okay.
- Ow!Copy !req
236. Heel, boy, heel.Copy !req
237. Oh, hello, Fry.Copy !req
238. I guess I didn't notice you there.Copy !req
239. I'm having such fun
with my new best friend,Copy !req
240. Robo-Puppy.Copy !req
241. That's nice.Copy !req
242. I was just out walking him.Copy !req
243. Yes, you can walk him.Copy !req
244. Of course, after he goes,
you have to refill the canisters.Copy !req
245. Come here, boy. Pet, pet, pet.Copy !req
246. Robo-Puppy receiving petting.Copy !req
247. Bender, are you jealous of Fry's puppy?Copy !req
248. That's so adorable.Copy !req
249. Jealous? Not when I have
the love of Robo-Puppy here.Copy !req
250. Robo-Puppy, lick my cheek.Copy !req
251. Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek.Copy !req
252. Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking.Copy !req
253. Licking in progress.Copy !req
254. Licking complete.Copy !req
255. Robo-Puppy truly is
robot's best friend, huh?Copy !req
256. Ah! There, perfect.Copy !req
257. Good news, everyone.Copy !req
258. The Clone-o-Mat is ready!Copy !req
259. Finally.Copy !req
260. Robo-Puppy commencing
two hour yipping session.Copy !req
261. Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!Copy !req
262. Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!Copy !req
263. Behold once more, the mighty Clone-o-Mat.Copy !req
264. Requiring such vast amounts
of electricity that we mustCopy !req
265. harness the elemental power
of nature itself.Copy !req
266. I speak, of course,Copy !req
267. of molten lava deep within
the Earth's core.Copy !req
268. To the subbasement.Copy !req
269. Powering up Clone-o-Mat.Copy !req
270. Placing fossil on the plat-clone-o-form.Copy !req
271. Initiating dog brain CAT scan.Copy !req
272. Come on, boy, come back to life.Copy !req
273. Know ye now what it feels like
to be Dog God.Copy !req
274. Commencing DNA extraction.Copy !req
275. Fry, come on, the talent show.Copy !req
276. What? I'm in the middle of something.Copy !req
277. But if we don't perform,
in what sense do we have an act?Copy !req
278. Bender, enough. Leave me alone.Copy !req
279. So that's how it is, huh?Copy !req
280. I thought you were my friend,Copy !req
281. but if you love your dog so much
maybe you'd rather play fetch.Copy !req
282. No!Copy !req
283. Now I'm all you got.Copy !req
284. I hate you!Copy !req
285. I hate you, you evil metal man!Copy !req
286. Ow!Copy !req
287. So anyway, your dog is melted.Copy !req
288. Now we're friends again.Copy !req
289. Not necessarily,Copy !req
290. for the dog may yet survive.Copy !req
291. May yet? Really?Copy !req
292. Indeed.Copy !req
293. You see, that fossilwas made of dolomite,Copy !req
294. the tough black mineralthat won't cop outCopy !req
295. when there's heat all about.Copy !req
296. By contrast, observe the lava's effect
on this ice swan.Copy !req
297. Of course, that would have melted
even at room temperature.Copy !req
298. I just wanted to get rid of it.Copy !req
299. But had it been made of that
righteous mineral dolomite,Copy !req
300. there's a slim chance
it might have survived.Copy !req
301. So Seymour might still exist?Copy !req
302. Perhaps, for a few minutes.Copy !req
303. It's dolomite, baby.Copy !req
304. Then I'm going in after him.Copy !req
305. He'd come after me.Copy !req
306. Acting like a moron
won't bring your dog back.Copy !req
307. Then all hope is lost.Copy !req
308. Goodbye, Seymour.Copy !req
309. Please stop crying, Fry.Copy !req
310. Here.Copy !req
311. I assumed you were just pretending
to love the dogCopy !req
312. to toy with my emotions.Copy !req
313. Oh, what have I done?Copy !req
314. You didn't do anything.Copy !req
315. Don't beat yourself up.Copy !req
316. Fry, I'm sorry.Copy !req
317. I should have understood
how someone can loveCopy !req
318. an inferior creature, because I love you.Copy !req
319. Not in the way of the ancient Greeks,Copy !req
320. but the way a robot loves a human,Copy !req
321. a human loves a dog,Copy !req
322. and, occasionally,
a gorilla loves a kitty.Copy !req
323. I'm going in.Copy !req
324. I'm a professor.Copy !req
325. Why isn't anyone listening to me?Copy !req
326. You can't go in because you'll melt.Copy !req
327. The fossil only has a chance
because it's made of dolomite.Copy !req
328. I'm 40% dolomite.Copy !req
329. Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's very hot.Copy !req
330. Oh, I am one hungover cryogenicist.Copy !req
331. Just throw that mutt in the freezer
till his owners get here.Copy !req
332. You can't solve all your problems
by freezing them, boss.Copy !req
333. I think you're forgetting our motto.Copy !req
334. Are you the cryogenicist
who called about our son's dog?Copy !req
335. Oh! You must be the Frys.Copy !req
336. Yeah, he's right over there.Copy !req
337. Sorry we're late.Copy !req
338. We all got sickfrom eating bad bologna.Copy !req
339. Y2K.Copy !req
340. What's he so worked up about?Copy !req
341. He's just upset'cause our boy's missing.Copy !req
342. Come on, you overgrown rat,
lead us to Philip.Copy !req
343. Bender's been down there too long.Copy !req
344. I'm going in after him.Copy !req
345. Professor! Lava! Hot!Copy !req
346. This is all my fault.Copy !req
347. I let my best friend risk his life
just to get my dead dog back.Copy !req
348. Bender!Copy !req
349. And that is why they call me
Bender the Magnificent.Copy !req
350. Hey, where'd everybody go?Copy !req
351. - Okay, let's clone us some dog.
- Yeah!Copy !req
352. Very well...Copy !req
353. Let this abomination unto the Lord begin!Copy !req
354. Interesting.Copy !req
355. It seems Seymour died
at the ripe old age of 15.Copy !req
356. Fifteen?Copy !req
357. You mean, he lived for 12 more years
after I got frozen?Copy !req
358. Indeed.Copy !req
359. Stop the cloning.Copy !req
360. Oh, sure, smash the smart guy's machine.Copy !req
361. Fry, what's wrong?Copy !req
362. Think about it.Copy !req
363. Seymour lived a full life
after I was gone.Copy !req
364. He probably even added
new songs to his repertoire.Copy !req
365. But that's a good thing.Copy !req
366. Walking on Sunshine sucks noodles.Copy !req
367. I had Seymour till he was three.Copy !req
368. That's when I knew him,
and that's when I loved him.Copy !req
369. I'll never forget him.Copy !req
370. But he forgot me a long, long time ago.Copy !req
371. If it takes foreverCopy !req
372. I will wait for youCopy !req
373. For a thousand summersCopy !req
374. I will wait for youCopy !req
375. Till you're back beside meCopy !req
376. Till I'm holding youCopy !req
377. Till I hear you sighCopy !req
378. Here in my arms...Copy !req
379. Ow!Copy !req
380. If it takes foreverCopy !req
381. I will wait for youCopy !req
382. For a thousand summersCopy !req
383. I will wait for you...Copy !req