1. Whooo!Copy !req
2. Two, three.Copy !req
3. Oh, my!Copy !req
4. Here we go, y'all!Copy !req
5. Zoidberg. Zoidberg.Copy !req
6. Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg.Copy !req
7. This is a story
about all my friends.Copy !req
8. Why? Why?Copy !req
9. Previously on All My Circuits:Copy !req
10. I'm sorry, father, but
somewhere along the wayCopy !req
11. I forgot how to be your son.Copy !req
12. Why, Antonio?Copy !req
13. Because I have amnesia!Copy !req
14. Calculon!Copy !req
15. But I thought you were...Copy !req
16. Egyptian?Copy !req
17. Before I kill youCopy !req
18. I must ask you
one question:Copy !req
19. Who am I?Copy !req
20. For I have amnesia!Copy !req
21. Let me
get this straight.Copy !req
22. Does anyone here
not have amnesia?Copy !req
23. I don't know.Copy !req
24. This show is awesome.Copy !req
25. When I grow up, I'm going
to have so much amnesia.Copy !req
26. Me, too.Copy !req
27. I mean, I have it now,
but I forgot.Copy !req
28. Well, mine's louder.Copy !req
29. Cram a ham in it,
you twerps.Copy !req
30. Sorry.Copy !req
31. Nah, I had it coming.Copy !req
32. Welcome, swingers.Copy !req
33. Pull up a groove
and get fabulous.Copy !req
34. Nude rock bandsCopy !req
35. big piles of what I assume
is talcum powder...Copy !req
36. It's quite a birthday
party, Calculon.Copy !req
37. Cool!Copy !req
38. I'm going to haveCopy !req
39. a fabulacious
birthday partyCopy !req
40. just like Calculon.Copy !req
41. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
42. Well, I'm going
to show up looking goodCopy !req
43. just like Monique.Copy !req
44. Do you two have to imitate
everything you see on TV?Copy !req
45. Um, we're 12... so yes.Copy !req
46. Hold up, Cubert.Copy !req
47. You're a clone
of the Professor.Copy !req
48. Do clones
even have birthdays?Copy !req
49. Um, duh.Copy !req
50. Duh what?Copy !req
51. Dad,
do I have a birthday?Copy !req
52. Hmm.Copy !req
53. You didn't have a birth,
so technically, no.Copy !req
54. Oh, don't
feel bad.Copy !req
55. We can celebrate
the dayCopy !req
56. I extracted you
from the cloning tank.Copy !req
57. Or the day I scraped your DNA
from that growth on my back.Copy !req
58. Ooh, that one!Copy !req
59. Ah, yes, it was
13 years ago next week.Copy !req
60. I used this very fork.Copy !req
61. Oh, well, isn't that...Copy !req
62. Hey, next week will be
my birthday, too.Copy !req
63. That's true.Copy !req
64. If only there were a way to haveCopy !req
65. one party for both of you
here at the officeCopy !req
66. then write it off
as a business expense.Copy !req
67. Wait! I thought of a way.Copy !req
68. The way I just said.Copy !req
69. Yeah.
Way to go, pops.Copy !req
70. Something's happening
on television!Copy !req
71. Oh, Monique, why did
we wait so many yearsCopy !req
72. to bathe in champagne?Copy !req
73. Father!Copy !req
74. I've discovered
the shocking secretCopy !req
75. mother has kept from you
for 200 years.Copy !req
76. No! No!Copy !req
77. Brace yourself, for when
I speak these wordsCopy !req
78. you may well suffer an attack
of explosive amnesia.Copy !req
79. For you see,
the horrible secret is...Copy !req
80. Whoever's directing this
is a master of suspense.Copy !req
81. He's busteds.Copy !req
82. Let's get hims
out of heres.Copy !req
83. We now join America's
most popular showCopy !req
84. already in progress:Copy !req
85. Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad.Copy !req
86. This show's been
going downhillCopy !req
87. since season three.Copy !req
88. Look who's here,
everyone.Copy !req
89. It's Zoidberg,
the lovable tramp.Copy !req
90. Since when are you performing
at children's parties?Copy !req
91. Performing? What?Copy !req
92. Please, if someoneCopy !req
93. could spare me
money to buy shoes?Copy !req
94. This party pukes.Copy !req
95. Yeah, the guests
were supposed to be hereCopy !req
96. three hours ago.Copy !req
97. Well, that doesn't mean
that no one is comingCopy !req
98. or that you two
are total losers.Copy !req
99. Who gave you that idea?Copy !req
100. All right.Copy !req
101. They must have all
come as a group.Copy !req
102. Welcome, swingers.Copy !req
103. Pull up a groove
and get fabulous.Copy !req
104. Uh?Copy !req
105. Huh?Copy !req
106. Good day, fellows.Copy !req
107. Someone dumped this invitation
in my begging cup.Copy !req
108. Happy growth-scraping day
to all!Copy !req
109. Fire them on.Copy !req
110. Hm-mm, hm-mm.Copy !req
111. Guys, guys!Copy !req
112. Something's happening
on television again.Copy !req
113. Ooh!Copy !req
114. Welcome to Entertainment
and Earth Invasion Tonite.Copy !req
115. Across the galaxyCopy !req
116. my people are completing
the mighty space fleetCopy !req
117. that will exterminate
the human race.Copy !req
118. But first, this news
from Tinseltown.Copy !req
119. Following Antonio Calculon,
Jr.'s breakdown on the setCopy !req
120. the popular TV show
All My CircuitsCopy !req
121. will hold an open casting call
for child robots to replace him.Copy !req
122. An open casting call
for child robots?Copy !req
123. Tinny TimCopy !req
124. are you thinking
what I'm thinking?Copy !req
125. What's that, sir?Copy !req
126. That I, Bender, am perfect
for the role.Copy !req
127. You raised my hopes and
dashed them quite expertly, sir.Copy !req
128. Bravo!Copy !req
129. Bender, your swarthy Latin charm
will only get you so far.Copy !req
130. There's a lot of famous
child acting units here.Copy !req
131. Look! There's
Macaulay Cul-Con.Copy !req
132. He's just not cuteCopy !req
133. since he got puberty installed.Copy !req
134. Psst! There's that
robot child actorCopy !req
135. who grew up and robbed
the convenience store.Copy !req
136. And there's that
robot child actorCopy !req
137. who grew up and became
a convenience store.Copy !req
138. Lottery ticket,
please.Copy !req
139. We're ready
for the first audition.Copy !req
140. Emotitron, Jr.Copy !req
141. Hold on, precious.Copy !req
142. Let's make you look nice
for the lady.Copy !req
143. What's this?
What did I tell you?Copy !req
144. Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ow!
No... more...
hanging... wires!Copy !req
145. In this sceneCopy !req
146. you've just found out
your real fatherCopy !req
147. is Calculon's fourth
evil identical septuplet,
Sleazy Martinez.Copy !req
148. Okay... take us there.Copy !req
149. "Now that I know the truth,
Father, I must ride southCopy !req
150. and join the robo-bandidos
at Veracruz..."Copy !req
151. Boo! Boo!
This kid sucks!Copy !req
152. We want Bender!Copy !req
153. Boo!Copy !req
154. Well, I thought
he was goodCopy !req
155. but the audience seems
to have turned on him.Copy !req
156. But I don't think...Copy !req
157. Next!Copy !req
158. "... at Veracruz.Copy !req
159. So, if you'll kindly
hand me my poncho..."Copy !req
160. Boo! Bring on Bender!Copy !req
161. Boo!
Bender's the greatest!Copy !req
162. Sorry, kid.Copy !req
163. You're flailing up there.Copy !req
164. Ohhhh!Copy !req
165. 90 actors
and they all got booed.Copy !req
166. I just wish we could get
this "Bender"Copy !req
167. I keep hearing about.Copy !req
168. They say he's the greatest.Copy !req
169. Well, there is
a robot named
Bender hereCopy !req
170. but he's
much too old...Copy !req
171. Send him in forthwith!Copy !req
172. Boo! Not as good as Bender!Copy !req
173. Boo!Copy !req
174. Mr. Bender?Copy !req
175. Have you ever been
on TV before?Copy !req
176. Once, when I took
those hostages.Copy !req
177. I saw that.
You were good.Copy !req
178. Let's hear you audition.Copy !req
179. Bandidos, eh?Copy !req
180. Ah, this is greatCopy !req
181. 'cause I happen to have
a flawless Spanish accent.Copy !req
182. "I will say a-dee-os, Pad-ray.Copy !req
183. "Come, Jesus,
my faithful chi-hew-a-hew-a.Copy !req
184. "Tonight, we eat gyoo-a-ca-moleCopy !req
185. by the el rio."Copy !req
186. That was so terrible,
I think you gave me cancer.Copy !req
187. I don't care
how popular you areCopy !req
188. you will never work
on my show!Copy !req
189. Yay, Bender!Copy !req
190. We demand Bender!Copy !req
191. However, you've
got the job.Copy !req
192. Welcome aboard,
"son."Copy !req
193. Fathero!Copy !req
194. Bender, I'd like you
to meet our directorCopy !req
195. whose name
I never learned.Copy !req
196. Yo.Copy !req
197. I read the script and I thinkCopy !req
198. it would help my character's
motivation if he was on fire.Copy !req
199. Uh, don't worry
about the script, baby.Copy !req
200. We rewrote your part to better
suit your acting abilities.Copy !req
201. Oh, now my character
has a British accent?Copy !req
202. No, now your character's
in a coma.Copy !req
203. Get in bed and don't move.Copy !req
204. And... action!Copy !req
205. Stupid, dumb coma.Copy !req
206. Could have been British.Copy !req
207. Alas, that mine only sonCopy !req
208. should sink into an
irreversible, permanentCopy !req
209. coma.Copy !req
210. Permanent?Copy !req
211. That's completely out
of character for Antonio.Copy !req
212. I'm getting up.Copy !req
213. Curse the tragic wildebeest
accident that...Copy !req
214. ♪ Hey, everyone!Copy !req
215. I'm... not familiar with
the type of thing I'm seeing.Copy !req
216. Cut!Copy !req
217. That's the worst coma acting
I've ever seen!Copy !req
218. We'll have to shoot it again.Copy !req
219. No. No, no, no,
I don't do two takes.Copy !req
220. But this guy was...Copy !req
221. Amateurs like you
do two takes.Copy !req
222. I do one take.Copy !req
223. Print it.Copy !req
224. I'll be in my
three-story trailer.Copy !req
225. Now that hospital dancing.Copy !req
226. Pretty good, eh, Calcy?Copy !req
227. Good?Copy !req
228. I've seen better acting from
extras in Godzilla movies.Copy !req
229. I don't even remember shooting
this scene.Copy !req
230. We didn't.Copy !req
231. That's security camera
footage from your
dressing room.Copy !req
232. He stole the scene
and my money?Copy !req
233. That's it!Copy !req
234. I demand you fire
this felonious ham!Copy !req
235. The network execubots
are coming!Copy !req
236. Oh, dear God!Copy !req
237. Presenting the president
of the network.Copy !req
238. Greetings, gentlemen.Copy !req
239. You already know my execubots.Copy !req
240. Executive Alpha,
programmedCopy !req
241. to like things it
has seen before.Copy !req
242. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
243. Executive Beta,
programmed to roll diceCopy !req
244. to determine the fall schedule.Copy !req
245. More reality shows.Copy !req
246. And Executive GammaCopy !req
247. programmed to underestimate
middle America.Copy !req
248. It's funny, but is it going to
get them off their tractors?Copy !req
249. Now, who put this obnoxious
dancing robot on my network?Copy !req
250. We were about to fire him, sir.Copy !req
251. Silence, hack!Copy !req
252. We've been monitoring our
Nielsen families carefullyCopy !req
253. and during the 12 seconds Bender
was onscreenCopy !req
254. viewer eyeball focus was up 90%.Copy !req
255. But, sir, children
watch this show.Copy !req
256. Bender's no role model.Copy !req
257. He's a filth monger.Copy !req
258. At our network,
we love filth.Copy !req
259. Filthy rich, that is.Copy !req
260. Being filthy rich, that is.Copy !req
261. "Bite my shiny metal ass"
could be a catch-phrase.Copy !req
262. 80% likely.Copy !req
263. It will play in Peoria.Copy !req
264. Game shows are back.Copy !req
265. We need this edgy, sweeps-ready
robot on our network.Copy !req
266. Bender, can you continue
to drink, smokeCopy !req
267. and steal things on TV?Copy !req
268. Yes, I can.Copy !req
269. Gonna shoot things.Copy !req
270. Yo, check out what
I jacked from my dad.Copy !req
271. A cigar?Copy !req
272. Ripping.Copy !req
273. Look, I'm Bender.Copy !req
274. Ras H. Tafari,
what's going on here?Copy !req
275. The ruffians smokedCopy !req
276. one of your cigars.Copy !req
277. that's not a cigar!Copy !req
278. Uh... and it's not mine.Copy !req
279. Hey, Dad, bite
my shiny metal ass!Copy !req
280. What?Copy !req
281. Such an act would be most
uncomfortable for both of us.Copy !req
282. Where did you learn
such language?Copy !req
283. From Bender,
my good jerkwad.Copy !req
284. Bender, eh?Copy !req
285. That guy's really
starting to twist my dreds.Copy !req
286. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
287. Get ready for this part.Copy !req
288. Quiet, robot.Copy !req
289. Bender's on TV.Copy !req
290. Oh, CalculonCopy !req
291. it's so good to get
away from the cityCopy !req
292. and that beastly yet
intriguing Bender.Copy !req
293. Whoo!Copy !req
294. And try this, kids at home.Copy !req
295. Is television
sensation BenderCopy !req
296. a bad role model
for Earth's children?Copy !req
297. That's crazy.Copy !req
298. A new protest group,
Father's Against Rude TelevisionCopy !req
299. says, "Hell, yes."Copy !req
300. What kind of bozosCopy !req
301. would start
a Bender protest group?Copy !req
302. Good news, everyone.Copy !req
303. Hermes and I have started
a Bender protest group.Copy !req
304. That was uncanny.Copy !req
305. Fathers Against
Rude TelevisionCopy !req
306. don't want our kids watching
Bender's high-definition filth.Copy !req
307. And for what?Copy !req
308. Some kind of cheap laugh?Copy !req
309. That's not what F.A.R.T.
is all about.Copy !req
310. No, sir.
Not us FARTers.Copy !req
311. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't censor meCopy !req
312. just 'cause I'm an
obscenely bad role model.Copy !req
313. As unclean as it makes me feel,
I agree with Bender.Copy !req
314. Kids don't turn rotten
just from watching TV.Copy !req
315. Yeah, give a little credit
to our public schools.Copy !req
316. Our dads are all pumped up
on dorkosterone.Copy !req
317. We're just trying to
be cool, like Bender.Copy !req
318. Yeah, and it's
not even working.Copy !req
319. Smoking and drinking
make us barf.Copy !req
320. Gentle jerkwads, I know how to
emulate Bender without barfing.Copy !req
321. We could commit a burglary.Copy !req
322. Hey, yeah!Copy !req
323. Bender loves to burgle.Copy !req
324. Hold up, though.
Who could we rob?Copy !req
325. We don't even know anyone
with cool stuff.Copy !req
326. Duh! We know someone who runs on
pure cool fuel— Bender.Copy !req
327. Whoa!Copy !req
328. We'll rob Bender.Copy !req
329. TV gave us the idea.Copy !req
330. You're watching Futurama—Copy !req
331. the show that does not advocate
the cool crime of robbery.Copy !req
332. Okay, it's crime time.Copy !req
333. Hey, Bender.Copy !req
334. Hey, Bender.Copy !req
335. Hey, Bender.Copy !req
336. Hey, Bender.Copy !req
337. What's going on in here?Copy !req
338. Oh, now I'm really outraged.Copy !req
339. Where did you
requisition
this party?Copy !req
340. And Zoidberg, what are
you doing here?Copy !req
341. I'm networking.Copy !req
342. Let me give you my card.Copy !req
343. Relax, Dad, we just invited
a few friends over.Copy !req
344. Hmm...Copy !req
345. There's something wrong
with your storyCopy !req
346. but I can't put my finger on it.Copy !req
347. Of course, you don't have
friends.Copy !req
348. Yeah, why do these
popular kidsCopy !req
349. consider you cool
all of a sudden?Copy !req
350. Um, we're just cool is all.Copy !req
351. Balderdash!Copy !req
352. I'll be the judge of who's cool,
using the Coolometer.Copy !req
353. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
354. Good Lord, I'm getting a reading
of over 40 megafonzies.Copy !req
355. Everybody out!Copy !req
356. So, do you guys know about
anything else going on?Copy !req
357. Because I'm totally
still ready to party.Copy !req
358. There's enough cool stuff here
to furnish a happening pad.Copy !req
359. Where did it all come from?Copy !req
360. Don't tell, comrades.Copy !req
361. All for one
and one for all!Copy !req
362. We stole it.Copy !req
363. Oh, crumb.Copy !req
364. What?Copy !req
365. What's going on?Copy !req
366. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
367. Our boys have taken up
stealing—Copy !req
368. one of the worst
and coolest of crimes.Copy !req
369. And all from watching
you on TV, you cool jerk.Copy !req
370. Hey, lay off me.Copy !req
371. TV would stinkCopy !req
372. if everyone on it was
a positive role model.Copy !req
373. Bender is about
entertainment, baby.Copy !req
374. You can't
hold me responsibleCopy !req
375. for what kids do when...Copy !req
376. Hey, this is my stuff
they stole!Copy !req
377. That's the last straw!Copy !req
378. Bender should not be
allowed on television!Copy !req
379. Bender must be stopped.Copy !req
380. I've gone too far.Copy !req
381. Who does that guy think I am?Copy !req
382. Come on, we're going to march
all the way to HollywoodCopy !req
383. and make them stop forcing their
filthy me down our throats.Copy !req
384. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
385. Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!Copy !req
386. Down with Bender!Copy !req
387. Down with Bender!Copy !req
388. This mob's with me.Copy !req
389. Go ahead.Copy !req
390. Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!Copy !req
391. Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!Copy !req
392. Down with...Copy !req
393. Bender!Copy !req
394. Down with Bender!Copy !req
395. As a doctor and captain
of this hospital shipCopy !req
396. I now pronounce you
man and wifeCopy !req
397. with six months to live.Copy !req
398. Listen up,
Hollywood.Copy !req
399. We're an exciting new mob.Copy !req
400. You better believe it.Copy !req
401. Great Shatner's ghost!Copy !req
402. We demand that all TV
be equipped with a B-chipCopy !req
403. that blocks Bender
from appearing on the screen.Copy !req
404. I'm afraid the answer is a
gritty, in-your-face no.Copy !req
405. Then I quit.Copy !req
406. Then you don't quit.Copy !req
407. I think you'll be finishing
the scene now, Mr. BenderCopy !req
408. and don't skimp on the nasty.Copy !req
409. There'll be no
further nasty.Copy !req
410. We still have the option
of resorting to violence.Copy !req
411. What makes you think
that will work?Copy !req
412. I saw it on TV in that episode
where Bender shot Calculon.Copy !req
413. How cool was that.Copy !req
414. Quit the show.Copy !req
415. Do the scene.Copy !req
416. I'm a cold-blooded punk.Copy !req
417. I once put a laugh track on a
sitcom that had no jokes in it.Copy !req
418. Hey, look, the prop guy
has a lamp.Copy !req
419. Whuh...?
Really?Copy !req
420. Aha!Copy !req
421. I was using that.Copy !req
422. Listen up, 'cause I've got
a climatic speech.Copy !req
423. You, cameraman,
keep the camera rolling.Copy !req
424. You, director,
give me my motivation.Copy !req
425. You're angry.Copy !req
426. Perfect.Copy !req
427. Viewers of the worldCopy !req
428. do smoking and drinking on TV
really make me cool?Copy !req
429. Of course they do.Copy !req
430. How about committing
crimes and violence?Copy !req
431. Again, the answer is yes.Copy !req
432. But do we really want
our kids exposedCopy !req
433. to that kind of trash on TV?Copy !req
434. I say absolutely not.Copy !req
435. Uh... on the other hand,
most... perhaps all the blameCopy !req
436. rests with the parents.Copy !req
437. That's right, you.Copy !req
438. And so I ask you
this one question:Copy !req
439. Have you ever tried simply
turning off the TVCopy !req
440. sitting down with your children
and hitting them?Copy !req
441. We're just so busy.Copy !req
442. Well, make time.Copy !req
443. And... cut.Copy !req
444. Good enough.Copy !req
445. Splice in some
reaction shots of meCopy !req
446. and shove it
on the air.Copy !req
447. Have you ever tried
simply turning off the TVCopy !req
448. sitting down with your children
and hitting them?Copy !req
449. Well, I'd say we all
learned a valuable lessonCopy !req
450. about TV there.Copy !req
451. What was it?Copy !req
452. Uh, that we should all take TV
a little less seriously.Copy !req
453. And more importantly,
turn it off once in a while.Copy !req
454. Hear! Hear!
Darn right.Copy !req
455. So, should we turn it off now?Copy !req
456. Well, uh... that depends
what's on.Copy !req
457. Nothing good.Copy !req
458. Eh, let's just
keep watching.Copy !req
459. ♪ TV party tonightCopy !req
460. Whuh?Copy !req
461. ♪ We don't want to knowCopy !req
462. ♪ We're dedicated...Copy !req
463. ♪ To our favorite shows:Copy !req