Futurama 4x5

Directed by Mark Ervin

When Bender disposes nuclear waste in the sewers, the angry mutants drag him, Fry, and Leela down to the depths to be mutated. As they attempt to escape, Leela makes an incredible discovery about her true heritage, finally meeting her parents for the first time.

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!req Futurama 4x5 [02:32]
!req Futurama 4x5 [Futurama 4x5]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Futurama 4x5 [10-11]; !req Futurama 4x5 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

2. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

3. There's no denying it— the future's crazy.

4. Oh, well, don't want to stand out.

5. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

6. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

7. There's nothing crazy about it.

8. It's just Freedom Day.

9. So, what is Freedom Day?

10. Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product.

11. No. It's a fabulous, crabulous day!

12. If you want to do something, you do it—

13. and to spleck with the consequences!

14. You know, like how I live every day.

15. Happy Freedom Day!

16. Oh, I think my wrist is broken.

17. Of course, it wouldn't be Freedom Day

18. without the traditional freedom tub.

19. Ooh. Wow, baby.

20. Mmm, that'll feel nice on my shattered bones.

21. Wow, nude hot-tubbing?

22. That's all I need to hear about Freedom Day.

23. Then consider the following lecture a bonus.

24. On Earth, freedom is a given.

25. But on my planet, we have to suffer for it.

26. Sure, you can be a comedian

27. instead of a doctor—

28. if you want your parents

29. to roll over in their graves!

30. Sure, you can vote for Shknadel—

31. if you want there should be a recession!

32. Sure, you can go to medical school—

33. if you've given up

34. on your dream of being a comedian!

35. That's why I love Earth— you can do what you want

36. and no one makes you feel guilty because no one cares.

37. We're not listening!

38. That's what I'm talking about.

39. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

40. Freedom, freedom, freedom, oy!

41. Excuse me, coming through!

42. Freedom Train arriving on track one.

43. Ow, you broke my foot!

44. Freedom!

45. What's this next float, Linda?

46. Representing our men, women and children in uniform

47. it's Earth's greatest space hero, Zapp Brannigan.

48. Happy Freedom Day, ladies.

49. Come on, let loose and show me something.

50. Anything. Seriously, I'd take an armpit.

51. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Linda.

52. You're welcome!

53. Okay, Morbo, now it's your turn.

54. If that is your Freedom Day wish...

55. Thank you, Secretary of Transportation.

56. My fellow Earthicans:

57. We enjoy so much freedom, it's almost sickening.

58. We're free to choose which hand

59. our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in.

60. And if we don't want to pay our taxes

61. why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster.

62. See you April 15, folks!

63. Cue the fireworks guy.

64. Ooh... Ah...

65. Incidentally, tonight's Freedom Day celebration

66. is brought to you by...

67. Shankman's Rubbing Compound.

68. When something needs rubbing, think Shankman.

69. Yeah, Shankman!

70. It costs a little more, but it's worth it.

71. Our planet has been through so much this past year—

72. wars, droughts, impeachments—

73. but we've never lost our sense of what's truly important:

74. the great taste of Charleston Chew.

75. And now, let us salute

76. that beloved symbol of freedom, our flag...

77. Ol' Freebie.

78. I'm swelling with patriotic mucus.

79. In our darkest hour

80. we can stand erect with proud, upthrust bosoms...

81. Anyone who laughs is a Communist.

82. knowing that, with a shifty glance skyward

83. we will see by the rocket's red glare

84. that our flag is still there.

85. It's gone!

86. Yes, fellow patriots, I ate your flag!

87. And I did it with pride.

88. For to express oneself by doing a thing

89. is the very essence of Freedom Day.

90. Bless this planet and all its wonderful people.

91. Kill him!

92. Kill the traitor!

93. W-w-wooo, w-w-woo!

94. Hey, it's the guy who desecrated our flag!

95. Stop that Red menace!

96. W-w-wooo, w-w-woo!

97. W-w-wooo, w-w-woo!

98. Oh, I'm all scuttled out.

99. What?

100. My planet's embassy?

101. They're paid to not kill me.

102. I thought I understood this world.

103. I thought I was fitting in.

104. But I guess I don't belong here any more than I do

105. on our crappy home planet.

106. Ooh, sorry.

107. What, sorry? Our planet stinks.

108. We all know it.

109. Enough with the persecution, I'm saying.

110. Zoidberg, as Ambassador

111. I promise you the full support

112. of our government, already.

113. Poor boy. You want maybe a nice mug cocoa?

114. Ambassador Moivin, you and your staff are so kind.

115. I am truly humbled.

116. What, no marshmallows?

117. Let's storm the place!

118. Without my prior knowledge.

119. Coming through, Freedom Train, step aside.

120. You, too, Fatso— freedom!

121. Cool your jowls, Nixon.

122. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag.

123. You may even find the image of it festering in his bowels

124. somehow offensive

125. but the right to freedom of expression

126. is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution.

127. Maybe so.

128. But I know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat.

129. The Supreme Court hereby accepts the case of Earth v. Zoidberg.

130. Sock it to 'em!

131. ; Two, four, six, eight, eating the flag is bad.

132. Now, your noose knot has exactly seven twists.

133. ♪ Don't mess with Earth!

134. They sure hate Dr. Zoidberg.

135. Posers. I was hating Zoidberg before it was cool.

136. Where are we ever going to find

137. a lawyer to take his case?

138. I'll ask the head of the ACLU—

139. once he's done singing.

140. Kill Zoidberg! Good night!

141. Howdy there.

142. I'm a lawyer, and I'd like

143. to help your friend out of this pickle.

144. Who are you, old man?

145. Name's Old Man Waterfall

146. but most folks just call me "Old Man."

147. I'll never remember that.

148. I'm a veteran of three dozen wars.

149. Name a body part and a planet

150. and I've taken a bullet in it, on it

151. all to keep our flag flyin' free.

152. And y want to defend Zoidberg?

153. Are you familiar with the old robot saying

154. "Does not compute"?

155. Son, to me, a robot's just a garbage can

156. with sparks coming out of it.

157. The sparks keep me warm.

158. I don't condone what Dr. Zoidberg did

159. but I'll fight tooth and nail for his freedom to do it.

160. Or, I would, if I hadn't lost my teeth and nails

161. on Mars and Saturn, respectively.

162. Wait, y-you're a lawyer? You're hired!

163. You okay there in the Embassy, Zoidberg?

164. No. There's no cocoa marshmallows.

165. And every night, the rats eat a little more of my foot.

166. Oyez, oyez, oyez.

167. All rise for the Honorable Chief Justice Myrtle Fu

168. and the Associate Justices.

169. Counsel, you may address the court on behalf of Earth

170. if you're ready.

171. I was hatched ready.

172. Honorable Judgeheads, yonder crawdad done et up our flag.

173. I was doing freedom of speech: Earth's most sacred right.

174. Your Honor, freedom of speech

175. applies to what comes out of a mouth

176. not what goes in.

177. Can Counsel cite precedent?

178. Uh, yes, darlin', I can.

179. In State of Alabama vs. Giant Space Iguana

180. chewing the corners off the Constitution

181. was deemed nonprotected speech.

182. He shut you up, O'Connor.

183. Mr. Waterfall

184. you may now present arguments on behalf of Dr. Zoidberg.

185. Oh, God, I'm nervous.

186. Two of my three hearts are having attacks.

187. Court's kind of fun when it's not my ass on the line.

188. Nachos?

189. Oh, Land O' Goshen.

190. Your Honors, I'm not some slick, big-city lawyer

191. like my opponent here...

192. but I am a veteran who has fought for his planet.

193. You see this hand of mine?

194. Yes, I do.

195. No, you don't, 'cause I lost me real hand

196. planting the flag when we took back Haley's Comet.

197. Yet it was worth it— so much do I love that flag.

198. Aw...

199. I love it even more than I love my seven wives.

200. That's right, I'm a polygamist.

201. Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself—

202. had I not used my intestine as a rope

203. to hoist a flag made of my own skin—

204. if it would protect the freedoms of the proud people

205. who salute that flag.

206. Freedoms such as polygamy.

207. I rest my case.

208. Whoa, geez.

209. The Justices and I will now confer

210. using high-speed telepathy.

211. By a vote of six to three, we find that flag-eating

212. is no protected by the Constitution.

213. Six to three? I beat the spread.

214. The court orders an immediate public apology.

215. Apology accepted.

216. Just don't let it happen again.

217. She means you, you turkey of the sea.

218. Me, apologize? Never!

219. I came to this planet to learn the meaning of freedom!

220. But I say it's you who should get a nice lesson!

221. So, do your worst, because no punishment could be bigger

222. than denying me my freedom!

223. You are hereby sentenced to death.

224. Wait, let me finish!

225. Also, in a rare double-whammy decision

226. the court finds polygamy constitutional.

227. I can't wait to tell my husband.

228. Remember, men

229. take him alive, so there's something left to kill.

230. Stay back!

231. This Embassy is sovereign mud of the mud planet Decapod 10.

232. Invading these mud premises is an act of war!

233. Yeah? Well, what are you going to do about it, shrimpy?

234. You want to see, Mr. Bigshot?

235. Attack Earth!

236. Yes, I know it's a shlep— just do it!

237. Haha! Now the rubber band's on the other claw!

238. Ready? Retreat!

239. Shh!

240. DR. Deny my freedom, will you?

241. Well, we'll do to you

242. what we did to the Squash Men of the Squash Planet—

243. squish them!

244. Charleston Chew?

245. You bet.

246. All right, Kif

247. let's show these freaks

248. what a bloated, runaway military budget can do.

249. Bring me the activation codes for our global defense network.

250. Aye, aye, sir.

251. Commence lip identification scan.

252. Mmm, mmm, mm.

253. No tongue.

254. Mmm...

255. We can't be too careful with these codes.

256. Rumor has it, a double agent

257. may be aboard this very ship.

258. I'm watching you.

259. You, Ensign, what's your name?

260. Hugh Mann, sir.

261. Hugh Mann.

262. Now, that's a name I can trust.

263. Run down to the central battle computer

264. and enter these codes, chop-chop.

265. Uh, sir, there's something about that Ensign...

266. You're damn right there is.

267. That strapping young lad's gunning for your job

268. and he just might get it.

269. The enemy approacheth.

270. Lieutenant, fire missile one

271. and recommend me for another medal.

272. Make it gaudy— I'm going clubbing later.

273. Ticktock.

274. Sir, all planetary defenses have been disabled.

275. Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret codes.

276. Somehow.

277. Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame.

278. Steady... steady...

279. Now!

280. Dr. Zoidberg

281. how can you claim to love freedom

282. and then enslave all of Earth?

283. Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom

284. until it learns what it is to not have freedom.

285. It's a lesson, I say.

286. Ow!

287. What the hell is this dirt pile we're building, anyhow?

288. None of your beeswax, slave.

289. You'll find out soon enough.

290. Just focus on globbing that mud.

291. Glob!

292. I'm not good at being a slave.

293. I'm thinking about graduate school.

294. You know, to become a barber.

295. This can't go on.

296. Today is the day we fight back!

297. It's already 10:00.

298. Oh, you're right.

299. Tomorrow is the day

300. we fight back.

301. Yeah? Well, good luck, sister.

302. All our modern technology is useless.

303. I know I am.

304. Hey, wait.

305. I'm having one of those things.

306. You know, a headache with pictures.

307. An idea?

308. Back in my day

309. we didn't have your fancy all-digital weapons

310. but we still managed to kill each other just fine.

311. Ah, the crossbow.

312. A pitiless, elegant killing machine.

313. The Bender of the 15th century.

314. Not big enough.

315. We need something that can take out an entire army.

316. Something you could commit a war crime with...

317. Ow.

318. Earth's slaves, behold the fruit of your labors:

319. The Mobile Oppression Palace!

320. Neat.

321. I don't need to tell you that occupation forces are expensive.

322. But with the Mobile Oppression Palace

323. a few dignitaries can oppress your entire planet

324. for pennies a day.

325. Warships dismissed!

326. Do your worst

327. you sea devils!

328. I'll make my stand with Ol' Freebie!

329. You can crush me, but you can't crush my spirit!

330. Ah! My spirit!

331. Great-Grandpa, no!

332. Another victim of the manocentric male-ocracy.

333. Ambassador Moivin, you killed my lawyer.

334. You're welcome.

335. He defended my freedom when no one else would.

336. He was a good and honorable man.

337. I request a satanic funeral.

338. Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression

339. is shmutzing up our freedom lesson?

340. Oh, take a pill, Zoidberg.

341. Begin again with the crushing!

342. You haven't won yet, Moivin.

343. You didn't expect us to even go to a museum

344. much less steal this ancient heat-seeking missile.

345. I don't even know you.

346. Oh, it's going to make such a mess.

347. This is your secret plan?

348. Meh!

349. Heat-seeking missiles are useless

350. against the Mobile Oppression Palace.

351. All Decapodian technology is cold-blooded, like us.

352. All eyes on Zoidberg!

353. Eww!

354. Hey, I need that to smoke!

355. Zoidberg, how could you?

356. I used to think you were cool.

357. Wait, people of Earth, listen.

358. Yes, I'm desecrating a flag

359. but to preserve the freedom it represents.

360. Zoidberg, you set us free!

361. I feel like I could stand to hug you.

362. I can't, but you know what I'm trying to say.

363. Zoidberg! Zoidberg! Zoidberg!

364. Ah, if only they appreciated freedom this much

365. on my home planet.

366. Wait a second— they do!

367. Because this is my home planet.

368. And now, to raise this beautiful new flag

369. a red lobster that won't ruin your dinner

370. Dr. John Zoidberg!

371. You're a nice man, Nixon.

372. Dr. Zoidberg, how's about you take a bite

373. of the flag for tomorrow's papers?

374. Oh, I couldn't.

375. No, no, go ahead.

376. You've earned it.

377. Well, maybe just a taste.

378. Mmm...

379. Now, that's a grand old flag!

380. I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.

381. Freedom.