Futurama 3x3

Pauly Shore as Pauly Shore (voice) • Sarah Silverman as Michelle (voice) • Kath Soucie as Punk Kid (voice)

Fry is reunited with his old girlfriend from the 20th Century, but she doesn't adapt to the 31st century as well as he has. Convincing Fry to return to the cryogenic chamber, they awaken in a barren wasteland and struggle to make a place for themselves.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Giant space robot, this is Captain Fry

2. of the U.S.S. Planet Express ship.

3. We come in peace.

4. Tough luck!

5. Well, we destroyed the toy spaceship.

6. - Now what are we going to do? - Hey, look!

7. The keys to the real spaceship.

8. Do you think we should?

9. Yes, I do.

10. Leela, have you seen the keys to the spaceship?

11. I must have left them on board.

12. Well... I mean, what!

13. Relax, the ship's not going anywhere.

14. - I anchored it with

15. - the unbreakable diamond tether.

16. Oh, no.

17. DR. This isn't good for Zoidberg.

18. - Yeah!

19. Hey, Fry, I'm steering with my ass.

20. That's the best thing I ever saw.

21. That was great!

22. And no one suspects a thing.

23. Whoa!

24. And that's how we learned our lesson.

25. You've gone too far this time.

26. All three of you.

27. What did I do?

28. You left the keys in the ignition.

29. I mean, look at those two.

30. Wasn't it obvious what would happen?

31. Yeah, Leela.

32. We're all very disappointed in you.

33. I should fire you three right now.

34. But I'm just not that cold-hearted.

35. You're all fired.

36. Goodbye, friends. I'll miss you.

37. Good riddance to them.

38. Now Zoidberg is the popular one.

39. Yes, yes, let's all talk to Zoidberg.

40. Hey, Dr. Zoidberg...

41. So, Zoidberg... What's new?

42. Oh, you know...

43. What are we supposed to do for money?

44. All I've got is my frequent Taffy eater's card...

45. My first mustache...

46. This picture of my old girlfriend Michelle

47. and that ski instructor she was just friends with.

48. Pardon me, brother.

49. Care to donate to the anti-mugging you fund?

50. - Ow! - We don't need to beg, Bender.

51. For God's sake, we're not veterans.

52. Well, what do you suggest?

53. A daring daylight robbery of Fort Knox on elephant back?

54. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

55. No, we can get jobs.

56. But we just had jobs.

57. Fortunately, I still have our old career chips.

58. - Our what? - Career chips.

59. You remember, they assign you the job you're best at.

60. I tried to give you one and you ran away?

61. It's how we met?

62. And then what happened?

63. Just give me your hand.

64. Ow!

65. Baby.

66. Ow!

67. I'd like to reapply for my old job.

68. Counseling defrostees and assigning them careers.

69. Oh, I was hoping you would come back.

70. I even saved your poster of a chimp expressing your distaste for Mondays.

71. Monday monkey lives for the weekend, sir.

72. Just put your hand under the scanner so I can verify your career chip.

73. Calcutta, we have a problem.

74. Delivery boy?

75. I must have mixed up the chips.

76. - It's a simple...

77. Oh, here's our cryogenic counselor.

78. - Do you like Mondays? - They're okay.

79. Then we'll have to redecorate your office.

80. How do you feel about it helping

81. to be crazy to work here but not being necessary?

82. - Hey! Let's see what it says about me.

83. Welcome aboard, sir.

84. Remember, when the tube opens, say,

85. "Welcome to the world of tomorrow!"

86. Hey, I was frozen.

87. I think I know what people want to hear when they first wake up.

88. - Bathroom's that way.

89. While you're on the probulator, what brings you to the future.

90. Oh, well, I wanted to meet Shakespeare

91. and I figured that time was cyclical.

92. Nope, straight line.

93. - Ah! The probulator's done.

94. Oh, that wasn't so bad.

95. Oh, wait, it hasn't started yet.

96. Okay, it's about to start.

97. Welcome to the future, human slave.

98. Ah, relax, chum.

99. I'm not really a giant fly.

100. I'm a horrible robot!

101. Kill all humans!

102. Dear God!

103. He's having a heart attack!

104. They'll probably find a cure for that in the future.

105. We have a cure for it now!

106. Oh, good, then you won't mind if I use this.

107. Nothing like a power nap.

108. Flies, flies and gorillas!

109. Stay beautiful, dollface.

110. Whew! That probulator sure knows how to please a man.

111. So, what's for lunch?

112. - I ordered a pizza.

113. Pizza delivery for...

114. I.C. Wiener.

115. - Yeah, very funny.

116. Now cough up the $12.95.

117. Sorry, but if it's not here in half an hour, it's free.

118. It's only been 23 minutes.

119. Well, I've got 33 minutes.

120. It's only been 23 minutes, you dumb cannoli.

121. You got a problem? We can take it outside.

122. Okay, I'll fight the box. I think I can take him.

123. Fry, just pay me.

124. I still owe 30 bucks on this uniform.

125. Thirty-five, you stupid meatball!

126. Who should we unfreeze next?

127. No.

128. No!

129. Oh, my God! It's Pauly Shore!

130. All right!

131. Mr. Shore, I loved you in Bio-Dome.

132. You sure caused some trouble in that bubble!

133. Rest assured, if it rhymes, I can cause trouble in it.

134. Hey, now that you're in the future,

135. you can go live in an actual bio-dome.

136. An unattractive prospect.

137. While researching for the role,

138. I ran computer simulations demonstrating incontrovertibly

139. that the whole bio-enclosure concept

140. is fundamentally flawed...

141. Be it expressed via dome, sphere, cube,

142. or even the stately tetrahedron... Buddy!

143. Oh.

144. So, how did you wind up getting frozen?

145. Well, while filming Encino Man,

146. my intellectual curiosity "Re: Cryogenics" was peaked

147. and I resolved to freeze the weasel.

148. The weasel!

149. Hey, listen, Skippy.

150. I was supposed to be unfrozen in Hollywood

151. for the thousandth anniversary screening of Jury Duty 2.

152. How come I'm not there?

153. I woke you up early so we could hang out and do stuff.

154. Like what?

155. I love this job.

156. - Me, too.

157. Show time!

158. I'll pretend to be dying of space plague.

159. - Boo?

160. Michelle!

161. Oh, my God.

162. Fry? Is it really you?

163. I don't know. Is it really you?

164. What do you mean you don't know? Are you you or not?

165. Who wants to know?

166. Oh, Fry, it is you!

167. I don't get it, Michelle.

168. The last time I saw you, you were doing great.

169. You had dumped me and were on your way

170. to getting your life back on track.

171. Why'd you freeze yourself?

172. Oh, Fry, after you left,

173. things took a turn for the worse.

174. I got married.

175. I'm sorry.

176. His name was Charles.

177. He attended a law school so prestigious

178. the basketball team was coached by Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

179. I put him through law school by working as a dog walker for antisocial dogs.

180. - Sorry. - But soon after Charles graduated,

181. - our marriage ran into difficulties.

182. Uh... Sorry.

183. Desperately depressed,

184. I turned to the one thing that could lessen my pain...

185. A carnival.

186. Unfortunately, a corn dog bone

187. got lodged in the control panel of the spizzler

188. and I had to ride it for eight hours.

189. Sorry.

190. But it did give me a chance to think.

191. I'm sorry.

192. And I remembered the last time I was truly happy.

193. When I was with you.

194. Aww. So you froze yourself to come look for me?

195. No, I did it to get a fresh start.

196. I didn't know what had happened to you. No one did.

197. The police were going to conduct a search

198. but your parents felt it was a waste of taxpayer money.

199. That's the same reason they kept me out of school.

200. So, no one even cared that I was gone?

201. Not really.

202. Except for one person.

203. Who was it?

204. Everything is so different.

205. Not everything. There's still a roach problem.

206. Ugh!

207. Nowadays, people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed on fat guys.

208. I'm on loan from the Louvre.

209. Owww!

210. Please, Professor...

211. Give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance.

212. Yeah. And if you won't give me another chance,

213. perhaps you'd give one to...

214. Og, gorilla emperor of Earth.

215. Sorry, Og. But I've got a new crew.

216. So, how was your delivery to Fantasy Planet

217. where everyone's fantasies come to life?

218. - Great. - Organized.

219. For one beautiful night,

220. I knew what it was to be a grandmother.

221. Subjugated, yet honored.

222. You see, Og, everything's running smoothly.

223. And with Fry fired, I can finally leave my jigsaw puzzles out

224. without him eating the pieces.

225. Forget about Fry.

226. You could hire us back and he'd never have to know.

227. - Hey, guys. - Oh!

228. Hey, Fry.

229. So, as Leela was saying, Fry can go shove a big, old... Ow!

230. I'm glad you're all here.

231. I want to introduce you to my on-again, off-again girlfriend

232. of the past thousand years, Michelle.

233. Michelle, this is Leela.

234. - This is Bender.

235. - The Professor.

236. - Hermes and Amy.

237. Nice to meet you.

238. And this is Dr. Zoidberg.

239. Dating your ex, Fry?

240. Have you lost all self-respect?

241. - All what? - This can only end badly, Fry.

242. Kids, a house...

243. A home invasion by a former roommate.

244. But things are different this time.

245. Before, she was demanding and possessive.

246. But now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time.

247. There you go, dearies.

248. It's a relief to meet you, Amy.

249. I'm just having a hard time adjusting

250. to all the strange stuff here in the future.

251. I'm from Mars.

252. I feel so out of place here.

253. I don't understand why Fry fits in so well.

254. Probably because he didn't fit in back in your time.

255. That's true.

256. But I used to fit in really well.

257. Then good luck, sister.

258. Don't take this the wrong way, Fry,

259. but your friends are a bunch of freaks.

260. Yeah. They're great, huh?

261. I just don't belong here.

262. I don't know anyone.

263. I can't find a vanishing cream that doesn't make me actually vanish.

264. I don't even have a job.

265. Oh, right. I was supposed to assign you a job.

266. Let me just get your career chip installed.

267. - Hold out your palm.

268. What are you scared of? It's like getting your hand pierced.

269. This world is horrible.

270. Let's start over, Fry.

271. We'll go someplace where all we have is each other.

272. Ooh! Romantic.

273. I'll tell Bender to meet us there.

274. It's not a there...

275. - It's a then.

276. The future.

277. Whoa, girl, I thought you were talking about one of those motels

278. where the bed is shaped like stuff.

279. I love you.

280. Don't you love me?

281. Well, sure.

282. To the extent a man can love a woman.

283. But this seems like a big step.

284. Fry, why must you analyze everything

285. with your relentless logic?

286. Nothing matters but our love.

287. You're right.

288. Let's do this now and let's never regret it.

289. Michelle, I don't regret this,

290. but I both rue and lament it.

291. The year 4000 is severely disappointing.

292. I miss the year 3000, when life was simple

293. and brains flew through space and everyone ate lasers.

294. It's not that bad.

295. Fate brought us together, and now fate brought us here.

296. No, you brought us here.

297. Whine some more, Fry.

298. I really find that attractive in a man.

299. Now, come on, build us a shelter.

300. All right. Fine. Everything else sucks.

301. At least we can have a nice place to live.

302. Whew! There.

303. You expect me to live in a tiny, little hole?

304. It'd be deeper, but I'm standing on a gopher.

305. Oh! Look!

306. - Some little kids. - They'll save us.

307. We're saved!

308. I'm Butch, leader of this place.

309. I took your hole and you can't do nothing about it.

310. Okay.

311. Mighty sir, we have nowhere to go.

312. Could we please join your society?

313. Well... All right.

314. But no interfering with our grand works.

315. I tell ya, that Butch runs a pretty good civilization.

316. - I think I'll enjoy serving under him.

317. You know your problem, Fry?

318. You're not ambitious.

319. You should be chief.

320. What do I need? Ulcers?

321. But I want power.

322. I'm tired of the chief's girlfriend lording it over me

323. with her fancy coyote hide.

324. All right, all right.

325. If it'll make you happy, I'll overthrow society.

326. On what grounds do you challenge my authority?

327. Well, I'm older than you. I can beat you up.

328. - Yeah, I bet he could.

329. He's got arm hair.

330. All right, Grandpa, there's only one way to settle this.

331. Death-rolling!

332. - What's death-rolling? - It's like skateboarding.

333. Except half the time, someone dies.

334. Oh, so it's a little safer than skateboarding.

335. Last one holding the bandanna is the new leader.

336. My mother always said you were a loser, Fry.

337. Now get out there and prove her wrong.

338. Beth said that?

339. It's cool. Back off!

340. My knee, I scraped it.

341. Aww. Poor little guy.

342. Let me just take a look at... Aha!

343. I won! I'm the new chief!

344. I'm the tallest and I weigh the most!

345. Hand it over, you giant idiot.

346. Hey, Butch, your mom's here.

347. Aw, man.

348. Come on, kids!

349. You're late for Hebrew school!

350. - I don't wanna go.

351. Every Monday and Wednesday, it's the same thing.

352. I find this postapocalyptic wasteland very confusing.

353. Seriously, I'm weirded out.

354. That's because you're a loser.

355. You were a loser in the year 2000,

356. and you're a loser in the year 4000.

357. Yeah, but in the year 3000 I had it all:

358. Several friends, a low-paying job,

359. a bed in a robot's closet.

360. I envied no man.

361. But you wrecked everything.

362. Quit standing up for yourself, Fry.

363. When we get back to the hole, we are going to have

364. a long, boring talk about our relationship.

365. Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this!

366. I'm leaving you.

367. There must be people somewhere.

368. Yes! Footprints!

369. And handprints?

370. But... What's happening?

371. Fry!

372. Thank God we found you.

373. Leela, what are you guys doing here in the year 4000?

374. It's not the year 4000.

375. You were only frozen for two days.

376. By the way, I broke your bed.

377. You were in Pauly Shore's tube,

378. they were delivering it to his movie screening.

379. When they noticed you weren't him, they chucked you in a ditch.

380. So you're saying these aren't the decaying ruins

381. - of New York in the year 4000? - You wish.

382. You're in Los Angeles.

383. But there was this gang of 10-year-olds with guns.

384. Exactly. You're in L.A.

385. But everyone is driving around shooting at each other.

386. That's L.A. for you.

387. But the air is green,

388. and there's no sign of civilization whatsoever.

389. He just won't stop with the social commentary.

390. And the people are all phonies.

391. No one reads. Everything has cilantro on it.

392. Michelle, baby.

393. It's not working out, Fry.

394. 'Tis better to have loved and lost, n'est-ce pas?

395. That's it. I've had it with women.

396. From now on, I'm concentrating on my career.

397. Can I have my old job back?

398. Why, I've forgotten why I even fired you.

399. 'Cause he destroyed your business, your home and all your possessions.

400. Oh, that's right.

401. Get lost!