1. Good news, everyone.Copy !req
2. Several years ago,
I tried to log on...Copy !req
3. to AOL, and it
just went through.Copy !req
4. Whee!Copy !req
5. We're on-line.Copy !req
6. Go ahead, get into these
Net suits.Copy !req
7. I designed and tested them myself.Copy !req
8. They smell like
burning rhesus monkey.Copy !req
9. Really? I guess when you're
around it all day...Copy !req
10. you stop noticing.Copy !req
11. Off you go.Copy !req
12. Hey! Hah!Copy !req
13. Behold!Copy !req
14. The Internet!Copy !req
15. My God.Copy !req
16. It's full of ads.Copy !req
17. Whoo!Copy !req
18. Follow me.Copy !req
19. It's immense.Copy !req
20. It's got every piece
of information...Copy !req
21. anyone could ever want.Copy !req
22. So I see.Copy !req
23. What?
What's going on here?Copy !req
24. Wow!Copy !req
25. Hey, that's me.Copy !req
26. No, it isn't.Copy !req
27. I just took some pictures
of your face...Copy !req
28. and stuck them
on someone else's body.Copy !req
29. Hey.Copy !req
30. Are you over 18?Copy !req
31. Yes.Copy !req
32. Yes.Copy !req
33. Hi.Copy !req
34. I'm telling you, Fry...Copy !req
35. they've got a chat room
for everybody.Copy !req
36. And here it is.Copy !req
37. Eww. That is so gross.Copy !req
38. Yeah.Copy !req
39. I'll stick with
this one, thank you.Copy !req
40. Yeah.Copy !req
41. Hi.Copy !req
42. I'm a naughty nurse...Copy !req
43. and I really need
someone to talk to.Copy !req
44. $9.95 a minute.Copy !req
45. Oh. You're a dollar
naughtier than most.Copy !req
46. So, how about
them Knicks?Copy !req
47. Hello? Are there any girls
in this room at all?Copy !req
48. Yeah. Bring on
the hot chicks...Copy !req
49. 'cause I'm
a hot stud.Copy !req
50. Yeah.Copy !req
51. So are we.Copy !req
52. I'm a woman
if that's what you mean.Copy !req
53. I don't like to play games,
so I'll just say I'm a Cyclops.Copy !req
54. I'm a spaceship captain;
I'm the only one of my species...Copy !req
55. and I'm interested
in meeting a man.Copy !req
56. A woman?Copy !req
57. I'm scared.Copy !req
58. Well, thanks to the Internet,
I'm now bored with sex.Copy !req
59. Is there a place on the Web that
panders to my lust for violence?Copy !req
60. Is the Space Pope reptilian?Copy !req
61. Get ready for fun, Fry.Copy !req
62. Nowadays we have a type of game
played entirely on video.Copy !req
63. We call it a video game.Copy !req
64. A video game, you say?Copy !req
65. Well, golly gee.Copy !req
66. You mighty spacemen
of the future...Copy !req
67. will have to show
me how it works.Copy !req
68. The doctor is in.Copy !req
69. The doctor is out.Copy !req
70. Everyone, please
sign off.Copy !req
71. We have a delivery.Copy !req
72. Plus I have to use
the phone to...Copy !req
73. Leela, please tell
the others that...Copy !req
74. Whoa.Copy !req
75. Who are you?Copy !req
76. I saw you in the chat room...Copy !req
77. but you left before I had
a chance to talk to you.Copy !req
78. After all these years of
searching for another Cyclops.Copy !req
79. I can't believe it.Copy !req
80. I've dreamed of this moment
all my life.Copy !req
81. Do you think perhaps,
you and l...Copy !req
82. Ha-ha!Copy !req
83. Fry, you idiot.Copy !req
84. Ever since I was abandoned
on Earth...Copy !req
85. I've been searching
for who my people are...Copy !req
86. and where they come from.Copy !req
87. Then I finally meet another
Cyclops and you blast him.Copy !req
88. You wrecked my one chance
to learn who I am.Copy !req
89. Oh, Leela, I feel terrible.Copy !req
90. If there's anything
I can ever do...Copy !req
91. Gotcha.Copy !req
92. I won!Copy !req
93. I'm the greatest!Copy !req
94. Come on.
We have work to do.Copy !req
95. Are you still mad
at me for wrecking...Copy !req
96. your once-in-a-lifetime chance...Copy !req
97. to learn the meaning
of your existence?Copy !req
98. No. I'm just happy you were able
to win a video game.Copy !req
99. Now let's concentrate on getting
this desperately needed popcorn...Copy !req
100. to the people
of Cineplex Fourteen, okay?Copy !req
101. Leela, you've got mail.Copy !req
102. It's not spam.Copy !req
103. Huh?Copy !req
104. It's him.Copy !req
105. To Leela.Copy !req
106. Subject, hello. I am Alcazar.Copy !req
107. Fortunately, I wrote down
your screen name...Copy !req
108. before I was dispatched
by that oafish moron.Copy !req
109. Kicked your ass.Copy !req
110. Leela, we have much to discuss.Copy !req
111. Please come join me
on the planet of your birth.Copy !req
112. Coordinates follow.Copy !req
113. Well, too bad
we've got...Copy !req
114. to make that urgent
popcorn delivery.Copy !req
115. It'll get there.Copy !req
116. After a whole life of searching...Copy !req
117. I may finally have
found where I belong.Copy !req
118. Too bad it's a dump.Copy !req
119. Look at that statue.Copy !req
120. It's only got one eye.Copy !req
121. Lazy sculptor.Copy !req
122. Welcome home, Leela.Copy !req
123. Alcazar?Copy !req
124. Are you real...Copy !req
125. or am I seeing single?Copy !req
126. Ow.Copy !req
127. Of course, I'm real.Copy !req
128. After all this time,
somebody else with one eye...Copy !req
129. who isn't a clumsy carpenter
or a kid with a B.B. Gun.Copy !req
130. It's all right, Leela.Copy !req
131. You'll never be alone again.Copy !req
132. Come.Copy !req
133. Let me introduce you
to yourself.Copy !req
134. Do you mind
if your servants walk?Copy !req
135. Not at all.Copy !req
136. We are the last remaining Cyclopes.Copy !req
137. Our planet is Cyclopia.Copy !req
138. This is the capitol,
Cyclops City.Copy !req
139. Stop me if I'm going
too fast for you.Copy !req
140. So much information,
and yet, somehow...Copy !req
141. I feel as if I
know it all already.Copy !req
142. This sacred mosaic
depicts our goddess of beauty.Copy !req
143. Hmm. You got any sacred artwork
of her from the back?Copy !req
144. Her perfect eye reminds
me of yours, Leela.Copy !req
145. Had our race survived...Copy !req
146. you would have been
a temple priestess...Copy !req
147. or a supermodel.Copy !req
148. Oh, please. Really?Copy !req
149. And there's the infamous pirate,
Purple Beard, scourge of the six seas.Copy !req
150. What's over
that hill?Copy !req
151. The Forbidden Valley...Copy !req
152. A holy sanctuary
where no one may tread.Copy !req
153. Is that
anything like a cemetery?Copy !req
154. 'Cause I got to take a leak. Ow!Copy !req
155. Fry, that's offensive
to our people.Copy !req
156. Isn't it?Copy !req
157. Ow.Copy !req
158. This is my home.Copy !req
159. I hope you don't think
less of me...Copy !req
160. because I live
in a giant castle.Copy !req
161. Oh, no, not at all.Copy !req
162. If anything, I'm
more impressed.Copy !req
163. Ooh. I'm going to need
to make some room.Copy !req
164. And here is where
I dream my lonely dreams...Copy !req
165. and cook my simple meals.Copy !req
166. It's all so sad.Copy !req
167. What happened
to our people?Copy !req
168. That's too painful
to speak of now.Copy !req
169. Come. I'll show you
your quarters.Copy !req
170. Ow. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
171. I heard you from my room.Copy !req
172. What's wrong?Copy !req
173. Nothing.Copy !req
174. It's just...Copy !req
175. No, Leela.Copy !req
176. I don't want to see tears
in your perfect eye.Copy !req
177. Please. Is it about the fate
of our people?Copy !req
178. Because I'm very interested
in that.Copy !req
179. Well, okay...Copy !req
180. but it's chilly...Copy !req
181. and you're going to be
all wet from the tears.Copy !req
182. Let's go into my chamber.Copy !req
183. It wasn't long ago...Copy !req
184. our people were happy
and prosperous...Copy !req
185. but the eyeless Mole People
of Sub-terra Three...Copy !req
186. grew jealous
of our visual prowess.Copy !req
187. They fired missiles
in all directions...Copy !req
188. hoping to hit Cyclopia.Copy !req
189. Unfortunately, one of
the 40 planets hit was ours.Copy !req
190. How far away
do you think it is?Copy !req
191. A trillion miles?Copy !req
192. Things got hot.Copy !req
193. You look a little
hot, actually.Copy !req
194. You could take
off that jacket.Copy !req
195. Our people don't
like to be hot.Copy !req
196. Anyway, just
before the impact...Copy !req
197. our smartest scientist
managed to save one baby.Copy !req
198. Alcazar,
I used to be a baby.Copy !req
199. It might have been me.Copy !req
200. Fortunately, I was employed
as a pool cleaner at the time...Copy !req
201. and, when I emerged
from retrieving a dead possum...Copy !req
202. I found
I was the only one left.Copy !req
203. It's so tragic.Copy !req
204. Yes, but the
real tragedy...Copy !req
205. is that our race
ends with us.Copy !req
206. It doesn't have to.Copy !req
207. What do you mean?Copy !req
208. You're a male.Copy !req
209. And I'm a female.Copy !req
210. I'm still not following you.Copy !req
211. Wake up, my king.Copy !req
212. Oh, geez, what a night.Copy !req
213. Make me some coffee,
would ya?Copy !req
214. Uh, sure. Okay.Copy !req
215. What do you
take with that?Copy !req
216. Pancakes and sausage.Copy !req
217. Kitchen's in the basement;
pans are in the attic.Copy !req
218. Maybe after breakfast...Copy !req
219. we can talk about
rebuilding our civilization.Copy !req
220. Mmm. Great pancakes, Leela.Copy !req
221. Yeah, they'll come in handy...Copy !req
222. if I need to cover
any tiny manholes.Copy !req
223. Listen, hon...Copy !req
224. we don't want to
look like slobs...Copy !req
225. in front of the other
species, do we?Copy !req
226. No.Copy !req
227. So get to work
on these dishes.Copy !req
228. Then organize
my collection...Copy !req
229. of naked celebrity photos
by what you can see.Copy !req
230. Look, Alcazar...Copy !req
231. Call me Al.Copy !req
232. Look, Al.Copy !req
233. I know you've been
living alone a long time...Copy !req
234. and I can sympathize...Copy !req
235. but I'm not your maid.Copy !req
236. You're right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
237. I guess the relationship
isn't going to work out.Copy !req
238. So much
for the Cyclops race.Copy !req
239. I thought it was
a pretty good race but...Copy !req
240. Okay, okay.Copy !req
241. I'll do the dishes.Copy !req
242. Hey, where'd they go?Copy !req
243. Ah. Leela is experiencing...Copy !req
244. the greatest joy
a woman can feel...Copy !req
245. worshipping
some lowlife jerk.Copy !req
246. He may be some
lowlife jerk...Copy !req
247. but I don't trust him.Copy !req
248. I think he's
hiding something...Copy !req
249. and I'm going to find out
what it is.Copy !req
250. Try and stop me.Copy !req
251. Al?Copy !req
252. I did my hair
the way you wanted it.Copy !req
253. Who are these people?Copy !req
254. Friends.Copy !req
255. Hey, where'd you get
this couch...Copy !req
256. and that TV set
and all this stuff?Copy !req
257. They were giving it away
on the street corner...Copy !req
258. Just like you, Leela.Copy !req
259. Too bad they
weren't giving away...Copy !req
260. the three things
you actually need...Copy !req
261. mouthwash, a back wax,
and stain-proof underwear.Copy !req
262. You go, girl!Copy !req
263. By the way, your pal Fry
fell into the dungeon.Copy !req
264. Take him a taco so he doesn't die
and stink up the place.Copy !req
265. Come on, Al.Copy !req
266. Can't you let
the little guy out?Copy !req
267. Geez, Leela, twice in one day?Copy !req
268. I'm not Superman.Copy !req
269. Why were you sneaking...Copy !req
270. into my people's
Forbidden Valley?Copy !req
271. 'Cause I think Alcazar's
hiding something from you.Copy !req
272. Listen, Leela,
you may not like it.Copy !req
273. You may not believe it.
You may not want to hear it.Copy !req
274. But Alcazar's a jerk.
He's bad for you. He...Copy !req
275. I know.Copy !req
276. You do?Copy !req
277. Fry, if it's
obvious to you...Copy !req
278. with your learning
disability...Copy !req
279. then, of course,
it's obvious to me.Copy !req
280. He's crude and gross,
and he treats me like a slave.Copy !req
281. Then dump his one-eyed ass.Copy !req
282. I can't.Copy !req
283. If I leave Alcazar...Copy !req
284. that's the end of
the Cyclops race...Copy !req
285. and I won't let
that happen...Copy !req
286. even if it means a lifetime
of unhappiness.Copy !req
287. Leela, mop up
in aisle number two.Copy !req
288. I'll break up
with him at dinner.Copy !req
289. I'll be there.Copy !req
290. Yo, Leela, what gives?Copy !req
291. Pig says your slop
tastes like crap.Copy !req
292. Yeah, like crap.Copy !req
293. Come on, Leela.Copy !req
294. You deserve better
than this guy.Copy !req
295. Dump him already.Copy !req
296. I'm trying.Copy !req
297. Hey, everyone,
jam a sock in your spit faucets.Copy !req
298. Not long ago, I spent
my lonely nights...Copy !req
299. renting slasher
flicks with Rat Man...Copy !req
300. and his girlfriend.Copy !req
301. But then
a beautiful woman arrived...Copy !req
302. Stop eating, Pig!Copy !req
303. And she brought new hope for me...Copy !req
304. and our once-great civilization.Copy !req
305. Now, a million centuries
of Cyclops destiny...Copy !req
306. depend on the answer
to one question.Copy !req
307. Leela, will you marry me?Copy !req
308. No. No.Copy !req
309. Yes, I will!Copy !req
310. Oh!Copy !req
311. They're getting
married.Copy !req
312. Congratulations,
Leela.Copy !req
313. Glad you could make it.Copy !req
314. It's a magical day.Copy !req
315. Welcome!Copy !req
316. Psst! Leela!Copy !req
317. You've got to get
me out of here.Copy !req
318. It's horrible...
Eating scraps...Copy !req
319. letting my waste drop
wherever it falls...Copy !req
320. like an animal
in a zoo.Copy !req
321. Animals go in the corner.Copy !req
322. The corner.Copy !req
323. Why didn't I think of that?Copy !req
324. Look, Fry, I'd like to help you...Copy !req
325. but it's my wedding,
and I'm kind of busy.Copy !req
326. Here. Try to be happy
for me.Copy !req
327. That way, at least
one of us will be.Copy !req
328. That's it.Copy !req
329. It's time for
this bird to walk.Copy !req
330. Ow!Copy !req
331. Bender!Copy !req
332. Come on, we've got to get
some dirt on Alcazar.Copy !req
333. Let's go find out what makes the
Forbidden Valley so forbidden.Copy !req
334. Eh, no thanks. I'm good.Copy !req
335. But there's probably some cool
forbidden stuff you can steal.Copy !req
336. I don't know, Fry.Copy !req
337. For the first time in my life,
I feel like...Copy !req
338. I've stolen enough.Copy !req
339. Bender, snap out of it.Copy !req
340. Sorry. I don't know
what came over me.Copy !req
341. Let's go!Copy !req
342. That pig over there is wearing
the same sandals as me.Copy !req
343. Come on, boy, jump!Copy !req
344. Good boy.Copy !req
345. Whoa, Mittens.Copy !req
346. My God!Copy !req
347. Four identical castles.Copy !req
348. Each more identical
than the last.Copy !req
349. That's weird.Copy !req
350. It's another
Cyclops.Copy !req
351. Only this one
has five eyes.Copy !req
352. And here's another
one with no eyes.Copy !req
353. Does anyone have a reason
why this couple...Copy !req
354. shall not be joined...Copy !req
355. in the irrevocable shackles
of holy bliss?Copy !req
356. Saving a race of
one-eyed monsters?Copy !req
357. Who could
object to that?Copy !req
358. Cut to the chase, Preach.Copy !req
359. Do you, Alcazar,
take this woman...Copy !req
360. Poorer, in sickness,
to love, death, part?Copy !req
361. Yeah, sure, I do.
Come on... faster!Copy !req
362. Do you, Leela,
copy and paste his response...Copy !req
363. till death do you part?Copy !req
364. I... d...Copy !req
365. Oh, my God.Copy !req
366. What the?Copy !req
367. Hey, Alcazar...Copy !req
368. you left somebody
off the guest list.Copy !req
369. Alcazar!Copy !req
370. Why you are so late...Copy !req
371. for our wedding?Copy !req
372. And why you have only one eye?Copy !req
373. It's...Copy !req
374. Ooh.Copy !req
375. Uh, hey, sweetie.Copy !req
376. Just go back to the castle
and wait for me.Copy !req
377. She... She's nuts.Copy !req
378. I can morph into
a five-eyed alien...Copy !req
379. and I kind of said
I'd marry her.Copy !req
380. But I'm really
a Cyclops...Copy !req
381. and I'm really
going to marry you.Copy !req
382. Oh, yeah?
Then what about this?Copy !req
383. Uh...Copy !req
384. Uh... this is a bit awkward.Copy !req
385. Who's a-she?Copy !req
386. Who's she?Copy !req
387. Who are they?Copy !req
388. Go back to the castle, Sandy.Copy !req
389. And maybe you'd
like to meet her...Copy !req
390. and her.Copy !req
391. Uh, eh, uh...Copy !req
392. This, um...Copy !req
393. Leela...Copy !req
394. this must all be very confusing.Copy !req
395. A little.Copy !req
396. That's why I've decided
to hurt you...Copy !req
397. until you explain it.Copy !req
398. Show us your real form.Copy !req
399. Yeah!Copy !req
400. Do it!Copy !req
401. Well, this is the real me,
but I can explain.Copy !req
402. We all have needs.Copy !req
403. Mine was to make it
with five weirdoes...Copy !req
404. and have them scrub
my five castles.Copy !req
405. I gave you all
what you wanted...Copy !req
406. and, of course, I made
a few bucks letting Pig...Copy !req
407. watch through
the two-way mirror.Copy !req
408. Can any of you say
you wouldn't have done...Copy !req
409. the exact same thing
in my position?Copy !req
410. He's a saint.Copy !req
411. But why did you have all
five weddings on the same day?Copy !req
412. Hey, lady, you got any idea
what it costs...Copy !req
413. to rent a tux
that changes shape?Copy !req
414. All right, Alcazar.Copy !req
415. I just have one last question
for you.Copy !req
416. What's that?Copy !req
417. If you could change form...Copy !req
418. why didn't you change it
in the one place that counts?Copy !req
419. Thanks for saving me
from that creep, Fry.Copy !req
420. Hey, that's what I do.Copy !req
421. I guess I was so desperate
to find out who I really was...Copy !req
422. I forgot who I really was.Copy !req
423. No harm done.Copy !req
424. In the many decades
you'll work to repay me...Copy !req
425. for that shipment of popcorn
you destroyed...Copy !req
426. you'll have plenty of time
to search for your true home.Copy !req
427. Yeah.Copy !req
428. I mean, how many planets
can there be?Copy !req