Futurama 2x7

Claudia Schiffer as Claudia Schiffer's head (voice)

When the price of titanium skyrockets, Bender pawns his titanium-rich body and lives the high life as just a head. But when the head-in-a-jar of Richard M. Nixon uses Bender's body to run for election for President of Earth, Bender vows to get his rightful property back.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. FOURSCORE AND 1,145 YEARS AGO

2. OUR FOREFATHERS' FOREHEADS CONCEIVED A NEW NATION.

3. AND THIS PRESIDENTS' DAY,

4. FOUGHT AND DIED FOR.

5. PLYMOUTH V'GER.

6. HI, I'M MALFUNCTIONING EDDIE, AND I'M MALFUNCTIONING SO BADLY

7. I'M PRACTICALLY GIVING THESE CARS AWAY.

8. HEY, LET'S GO CAR SHOPPING.

9. ALL Bs, THEY'D BUY ME A BAR

10. AND I GOT ALL Cs.

11. MIND IF I TAG ALONG?

12. I'VE GOT TO BRING MY ASS IN FOR SERVICING.

13. LOW-SPEED COLLISION.

14. NO WONDER YOU'VE BEEN STAYING

15. OF CONGA LINES LATELY.

16. I'LL GET MY COAT.

17. LET'S GO, BENDER.

18. HELLO.

19. I AM VICTOR.

20. ON BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

21. UH-HUH. NOW TELL HER SHE'S WITTY AND SOPHISTICATED.

22. UH-UH-UH.

23. A LADY A CAR FIRST.

24. THIS IS THE BETA ROMEO.

25. YES, THE BETA ROMEO.

26. WHICH PROTECTS, LIFTS AND SEPARATES.

27. YOU WALKED IN, DIDN'T YOU, SIR?

28. SHE'S A REAL BEAUTY.

29. YEP, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL COFFEE ALL RIGHT.

30. NO, THE FORD THUNDER- COUGARFALCONBIRD.

31. COUGARFALCONBIRD.

32. COUGARFALCONBIRD?

33. SORRY. I'M NOT HERE TO BUY.

34. I UNDERSTAND.

35. IT'S WONDERFUL YOU DON'T CARE

36. YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

37. I CARE PLENTY.

38. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM STOP.

39. THUNDERCOUGARFALCONBIRD.

40. ARE STUFFED WITH EAGLE DOWN.

41. THE BEAKS OF A THOUSAND EAGLES.

42. ALSO, THERE ARE SOME EAGLES UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS.

43. THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF EAGLE.

44. YES, AND YET—

45. WHAT'S WRONG?

46. HAS SO MUCH MORE EAGLE.

47. MISSING OUT.

48. OH, DON'T BE SAD.

49. AND THEY'RE INCREDIBLY RICH.

50. OF CATASTROPHIC BUTT FAILURE.

51. YOU, SIR, HAVE DEFACED A NATIONAL TREASURE.

52. FORMER GLORY!

53. ALL RIGHT, BUT SOONER OR LATER

54. AND WHEN IT DOES, I JUST PRAY

55. YOU'RE NOT MOONING SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.

56. SMEESH, LEELA.

57. LIKE ME NEEDS.

58. VICTOR SAID SO.

59. NO DOG FOOD FOR VICTOR TONIGHT.

60. OKAY.

61. SAYS $55,000.

62. BUT WE'LL ONLY

63. SAY—

64. $60,000.

65. OH, I WILL HAVE TO ASK MY MANAGER.

66. AMY, YOU DON'T GO UP FROM THE STICKER PRICE.

67. WAS AN AUCTION.

68. HE IS NOT TOO HAPPY.

69. I'M SORRY.

70. $80,000?

71. UH-OH.

72. I'M TERRIBLE AT PARALLEL PARKING.

73. AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING FOR A DAY OFF?

74. GET OUT OF MY AND MY SIGHT.

75. YOU'RE BOGARTING MY PATIENCE.

76. HERMES, WHO WERE YOU YELLING AT?

77. MESELF.

78. FOR VALENTINE'S DAY OFF

79. FOR ANY OF MY SHENANIGANS.

80. VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING.

81. OH, CRAP.

82. A GIRLFRIEND AGAIN.

83. WELL, SINCE NEITHER

84. WHY DON'T WE—

85. YOU JUST ASSUME I CAN'T GET A VALENTINE'S DATE?

86. SHALL WE SAY 8:00?

87. HEY, I'M TAKING MY NEW CAR OUT

88. TO MERCURY.

89. TO COME?

90. YEAH, OKAY. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?

91. THE USUAL.

92. BOILING LEAD, OCEANS OF LAVA.

93. SO WHAT? SHORTS?

94. BOY, THIS A/C IS INCREDIBLE.

95. OOH-OOH.

96. I'D BETTER TURN ON THE HEATER, TOO.

97. BOY, THIS HEATER IS INCREDIBLE.

98. I'D BETTER TURN UP THE A/C SOME MORE.

99. HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME ICY MARGARITAS?

100. YEAH.

101. WE'RE SLOWING DOWN.

102. DON'T WORRY.

103. I'LL HIT THE FUEL GUZZLER.

104. WHO WANTS POP-TARTS?

105. AH.

106. UH-OH.

107. IT'S OKAY. EMERGENCY PHONE.

108. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

109. SPLUH, IT'S A VIDEO-PHONE.

110. LUCKY I'M A MEMBER

111. AMERASIAN AUTO ASSOCIATION.

112. HELLO. SEPTUPLE-A?

113. WHEW.

114. OH, IT'LL BE A COUPLE HOURS.

115. OH, I'M GOING TO GET SWEAT ON MY SWEAT SUIT.

116. HEY, TELL ME SOMETHING.

117. YOU'VE GOT ALL THIS MONEY.

118. DRESS LIKE YOU'RE DOING YOUR LAUNDRY?

119. I GUESS 'CAUSE

120. MORE LADYLIKE.

121. AS THOUGH.

122. I'VE BEEN THERE.

123. AND WEAR UNDERPANTS.

124. WHAT AM I, THE POPE?

125. YEAH, AND IF YOU

126. THEY'D BE ALL, "STRAIGHTEN YOUR POPE HAT."

127. AND "PUT ON YOUR GOOD VESTMENTS."

128. YOU KNOW, FRY, IT'S NICE TO FIND

129. TO ABOUT STUFF AND JUNK.

130. IT'S LIKE WE FEEL THE SAME WAY

131. OR WHATEVER.

132. OH-HO!

133. OH.

134. SO WHILE THEY'RE

135. YOU WANT TO DO IT?

136. YEAH.

137. YO-HO-HO-HO!

138. OF THE MOVIE I SAW LAST NIGHT.

139. NOW, ANY OLD BUSINESS?

140. NO.

141. ANY NEW BUSINESS?

142. NO.

143. ANYONE SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER?

144. NO. NO. NO.

145. YEP. KIND OF.

146. WHAT?

147. OH, MY GOD.

148. AND ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER.

149. WHEN WE GOT HOME.

150. CONGRATULATIONS, FRY.

151. THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND.

152. AMY'S RICH.

153. SHE'S PROBABLY GOT OTHER CHARACTERISTICS.

154. BENDER!

155. ROMANCE ISN'T ABOUT MONEY.

156. OH, SO IT'S JUST COINCIDENCE

157. AND MISERABLY LONELY?

158. PUH-LEASE.

159. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S HIDEOUS.

160. MMM.

161. WELL, I THINK FRY AND AMY

162. LIKE A LIME AND A COCONUT.

163. DO I HEAR WEDDING BELLS?

164. WHAT?

165. NO!

166. REALLY. OH, DEAR.

167. OH, YOU'RE BOTH VERY LUCKY.

168. I'D PAY ANYTHING TO END MY MISERABLE LONELINESS.

169. IF ONLY I WEREN'T SO DESPERATELY POOR.

170. WAIT. YOU MEAN PEOPLE

171. FOR ROMANCE?

172. $500 AND TIME SERVED.

173. STUPID ANTI-PIMPING LAWS.

174. WELL, PAY THE MAN.

175. BENDER, HONEY, WE LOVE YOU.

176. SURE, BABY, I KNOW IT.

177. AH, COMPUTER DATING— IT'S LIKE PIMPING

178. THE PHRASE "UPSIDE YOUR HEAD."

179. BENDER, THIS IS STUPID.

180. FOR ROMANTIC HELP?

181. HEY! DON'T MAKE ME GO UPSIDE YOUR HEAD.

182. FRY! AMY!

183. PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON.

184. I NEED A STAPLER!

185. STOP. STOP.

186. HIS FEARSOME GONAD.

187. IT'S WORKING.

188. WE'RE MAKING OUT.

189. WAIT.

190. WHY AREN'T WE MAKING OUT?

191. I DON'T KNOW.

192. OKAY, MR.--

193. SMITH. ZAPP SMITH. BRANNIGAN.

194. YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN A LOVE PARTNER.

195. LET'S SEE.

196. OH, YES.

197. YES, DEFINITELY.

198. MMM, I'D LIKE SOME OF THAT.

199. MMM.

200. I'LL JUST HAVE EVERYTHING ON THE MENU.

201. NOW, TO RUN IT

202. ROMANCE-ALOGICAL DATAFIER.

203. BEEP-BEE-DE-BEEP-BEEP.

204. BEEP. BEE-DE-BEE-BEEP-BEEP.

205. BEEP.

206. SAY HELLO TO MISS RIGHT.

207. HELLO.

208. MMM.

209. WOW.

210. WE'RE GREAT KISSERS.

211. YEAH.

212. HEY, LATER, YOU WANT TO DRIVE OUT TO EUROPA?

213. SEEDS AT JUPITER.

214. HEY, YEAH.

215. BACK IN THE 20th CENTURY.

216. AH, IT'S COOL HOW WE

217. AND JUNK.

218. YEAH.

219. YOU KNOW, FRY, I REALLY LIKE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

220. EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT.

221. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HANGING OUT.

222. HANGING OUT?

223. SHE'S GETTING WAY TOO SERIOUS.

224. I'M NOT A ONE-WOMAN MAN, LEELA.

225. YOU'LL BE BACK TO ZERO SOON ENOUGH.

226. DON'T YOU GET IT? SHE'S SMOTHERING ME.

227. HI.

228. YOU SEE? YOU SEE?

229. NOW SHE'S BOTHERING ME WHEN I'M AT WORK.

230. FRY—

231. I'M DOING MY JOB— THERE'S AMY.

232. THERE'S AMY.

233. THERE'S AMY.

234. I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

235. AM I?

236. AM I?

237. FACE IT. I'M A PRIZE CATCH.

238. I MEAN, I'M PULLING DOWN DELIVERY-BOY MONEY.

239. FRY, SHE'S PULLING TRUST-FUND MONEY.

240. AS A TROPHY HUSBAND.

241. LEELA, YOU GOTTA COME TO EUROPA WITH US.

242. I CAN'T BE ALONE WITH HER.

243. SO, READY FOR A

244. WITH JUST YOU AND ME?

245. HEY, YOU KNOW

246. WITH JUST YOU AND ME?

247. UH...

248. DR. ZOIDBERG.

249. ABOUT A FREE HOT MEAL?

250. MMM. I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE TUESDAY.

251. BIRD EGGS... ANIMAL SLICES...

252. DRY WOVEN REEDS.

253. ALL GONE.

254. CAN I DRIVE?

255. NO.

256. SO, FRY, YOU BUSY TOMORROW?

257. TO THE BIG APE FIGHT.

258. GEEZ, WE'RE ALREADY PLANNING TO SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY TOGETHER.

259. ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?

260. OKAY. SURE.

261. FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?

262. OH, SO ALL OF A SUDDEN

263. WE'RE SPENDING VALENTINE'S DAY TOGETHER?

264. THAT'S IT, AMY.

265. WE HAVE TO TALK.

266. ZOIDBERG, YOU DRIVE.

267. WA-HOO.

268. PARDON ME. EXCUSE ME.

269. AH, I'LL JUST MAXIMUM FASTNESS.

270. AMY, YOU KNOW HOW, AT FIRST, YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE

271. 'CAUSE IT ALWAYS WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU?

272. HUH? YOU DON'T LIKE CHOCOLATE?

273. LOOK, COULD CHOCOLATE JUST LET ME FINISH?

274. VROOM, VROOM.

275. RACE IS HOT ROD ZOIDBERG!

276. AHH.

277. AMY, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS

278. OH-OH.

279. HERE, YOU DRIVE.

280. FRY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

281. OH, MY HEAD IS KILLING ME.

282. WHAT HAPPENED?

283. WAS ANYBODY HURT?

284. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

285. NOBODY BUT YOU.

286. I'M AFRAID YOUR BODY WAS BADLY DAMAGED IN THE CRASH.

287. HOW BADLY?

288. THAT'S IT OVER THERE.

289. DON'T WORRY.

290. ALIVE WITH SOME QUICK SURGERY.

291. WHERE IS IT?

292. THERE.

293. LOOKS LIKE WE'LL

294. TOGETHER, FRY.

295. WITH OFFICE ROMANCES.

296. DON'T WORRY, FRY.

297. WE'LL HAVE YOUR

298. IN A FEW DAYS.

299. OOPS-A-DAISY.

300. WELL, AMY, I'LL TRY

301. LIFE TOO MUCH.

302. FRY!

303. OH, SORRY.

304. CONTROL THAT ARM.

305. WHOO, WHOO-HOO, WHOO!

306. SO, WHAT WAS IT

307. BEFORE WE CRASHED, ANYWAY?

308. OH, THAT.

309. MAYBE WE'D BETTER TALK IN PRIVATE.

310. I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CLOSET.

311. AMY, I REALLY

312. WE'RE SPENDING

313. TIME TOGETHER.

314. YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?

315. SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.

316. HAVING FUN.

317. IF THAT'S

318. I'M SORRY, BUT IT IS.

319. WELL, WHATEVER.

320. HEY, LISTEN, AS LONG AS WE'RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER

321. OUT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?

322. HUH?

323. I MEAN, UNLESS IT'D

324. BEING A THIRD WHEEL.

325. HEY, I CAN GET A DATE, TOO.

326. NOW THAT I'M SINGLE

327. I'LL ATTRACT ALL SORTS OF WOMEN.

328. ONE SORT OF WOMAN.

329. OH!

330. OH.

331. SO... HOW'S BUSINESS?

332. AL GORE?

333. I'M TELLING YOU

334. AROUND VALENTINE'S DAY.

335. YEAH. IT'S PATHETIC, ALL RIGHT.

336. HOW MUCH?

337. 500 BUCKS. DONE.

338. ZAPP BRANNIGAN OKAY?

339. NO. 600.

340. OH, HEY, LEELA

341. UM, CAN I TALK TO YOU

342. IN PRIVATE?

343. OH, NO PROBLEM.

344. EMERGENCY.

345. AMY MADE VALENTINE'S PLANS

346. AND I'M GOING

347. LONELY AND MISERABLE.

348. WILL YOU BE MY DATE?

349. PLEASE?

350. YOU'RE TOO LATE, FRY.

351. I'M SHARING VALENTINE'S DAY WITH A VERY SPECIAL MAN.

352. HE'S NOT ZAPP BRANNIGAN OR ANYTHING.

353. THAT I'M ASHAMED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

354. BENDER'S IN HIS OFFICE. THANKS.

355. I GOT YOUR HOOKUP, FRY.

356. NOW, MY USUAL FEE'S 500 BUCKS, BUT SEEING AS HOW IT'S YOU

357. I'LL NEED IT IN ADVANCE.

358. OKAY, FRY.

359. WE'RE DONE PUTTING ON THE BRA.

360. SHAVE YOUR LEGS, ANYWAY?

361. WITH YOUR VALENTINE'S DATE?

362. IS IT OF YOURS?

363. YOU'RE USING AN AWFUL LOT OF MAKEUP THERE.

364. THIS IS DEODORANT.

365. WHAT DOES IT DO?

366. COME ON IN, GARY.

367. I'LL JUST BE ANOTHER 20 MINUTES.

368. I'LL BE WAITING.

369. 20 MINUTES?

370. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY READY NOW.

371. YEAH, BUT IT'S GOOD TO MAKE THEM WAIT A LITTLE.

372. OH, GOD, IT'S TRUE!

373. ON YOU.

374. THANKS. THANKS.

375. WHERE IS SHE?

376. I MUST SAY, AMY, YOU'RE ALL MADE UP.

377. JUST LIKE FRY'S DATE.

378. GET IT?

379. UH-UH.

380. I'VE GOT A DATE.

381. SHE'LL BE ALONG ANY MINUTE.

382. FRY! LOOK WHO I FOUND.

383. IT'S PETUNIA, YOUR DREAM GIRL.

384. HOW'S THEM EATS?

385. UH—

386. DON'T MIND IF I DO.

387. KIDS'LL BE HUNGRY.

388. A LITTLE OLD FOR ME.

389. AND I DON'T MEAN SHE TRAVELS A LOT.

390. MY HOUSE.

391. NOW, HOW ABOUT A ROSE FOR THE LADY?

392. FIVE BUCKS A POP.

393. I'LL TAKE ONE.

394. OH, YEAH? WELL, I WANT ONE, TOO.

395. EIGHT BUCKS.

396. SKYROCKETED.

397. YOU ALL SAW IT!

398. LEELA, MEET YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND, SAL.

399. EEH! NICE EYEBALL, EYEBALL.

400. NICE ASS, ASS.

401. OOH, SPARKS.

402. BUY HER A ROSE.

403. SHE'LL PUT OUT.

404. AH, I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

405. CHEERS.

406. CHEERS.

407. SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROSPECTS.

408. YOU A GOOD GAMBLER?

409. WELL, MA'AM, I—

410. WHAT'S YOUR GAME?

411. BINGO? KENO?

412. WAIT A MINUTE.

413. YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR OWN BODY.

414. NO, BUT I CONTROL THIS ARM.

415. SLOTS PLAYER, HUH?

416. SORRY, BUT I THINK I CAN DO BETTER.

417. WAIT! COME BACK, UH, DARLING.

418. CAN'T, HON.

419. BACK TO NUTLEY.

420. I'D KISS YOU GOOD NIGHT

421. PULLING OUT A STUMP.

422. SO ANYWAYS, LEELA

423. I'D LOVE TO TAKE

424. BUT THAT 10:15 TO NUTLEY AIN'T GOING NOWHERES

425. BEHIND THE WHEEL.

426. EXCUSE ME.

427. DID YOU SAY, "10:15 TO NUTLEY"?

428. WHY, YES, I DID.

429. BENDER, DID YOU JUST

430. AT THE BUS STATION?

431. OF COURSE NOT.

432. ANYBODY'S ELSE FOR NUTLEY?

433. BABY, WAIT.

434. YOU DIDN'T SHOW ME YOUR SURPRISE.

435. OH, GEEZ, GET A ROOM.

436. MAYBE LATER.

437. UH, H-HEY! I HAVE AN IDEA.

438. LET'S ALL GO OUT FOR ICE CREAM.

439. ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT

440. FOR COFFEE.

441. I DON'T REALLY LIKE COFFEE.

442. NEITHER DO I.

443. OOH. I FEEL A LITTLE TIPSY.

444. LET ME PICK UP THE CHECK.

445. NO!

446. THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

447. WHY, IF IT ISN'T

448. FRY.

449. AH! LEELA!

450. ON OUR WAY OUT.

451. NONSENSE.

452. THE EVENING'S YOUNG.

453. SO, GARY, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

454. I'M A BANKING INDUSTRY REGULATOR.

455. REALLY?

456. YOU KNOW, I HEARD THAT

457. ARE REALLY VERY SIMPLE.

458. OH, NO. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

459. YOU SEE, MODERN

460. REGULATORY TRADITIONS.

461. TO GET TECHNICAL.

462. OH, I DO.

463. IT ALL BEGAN IN 1410,

464. THANK YOU.

465. THERE YOU ARE.

466. GOOD AS NEW, EXCEPT FOR YOUR DORSAL FIN.

467. I'M AFRAID I COULDN'T FIND IT

468. AFTER THE CRASH.

469. WITHOUT IT?

470. IF YOU CALL THAT LIVING.

471. I STILL DON'T

472. WHY YOU WOULDN'T LET ME

473. WHO DISOBEY YOU.

474. OH, BUT I GUESS

475. WE'RE JUST TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

476. SO, UH, THANKS FOR THE RIDE, AMY

477. ABOUT YOUR DATE... OR STUFF.

478. IT'S OKAY.

479. I HAD FUN,

480. AND THINK OF YOU.

481. WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S NICE TO HAVE MY OWN BODY BACK.

482. AHH!

483. OH.

484. SO, HOW'S THE OLD CORPSE?

485. EVERYTHING HOOKED UP OKAY?

486. SEEMS TO BE.

487. MY NECK'S JUST A LITTLE TENDER.

488. OW! COOL.

489. OW!

490. LISTEN, LEELA

491. ME LAST NIGHT.

492. ANYTIME. I ACTUALLY ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

493. YEP. EVERYTHING

494. TO GOOD OLD BENDER.

495. COME ON.

496. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU INTENTIONALLY

497. SO WE'D SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY TOGETHER.

498. DIDN'T I, LEELA?

499. DIDN'T I?

500. NO! YOU DIDN'T!

501. AND POCKETED OUR MONEY.

502. TRUE, BUT IN THE END

503. ISN'T THAT WHAT VALENTINE'S DAY IS REALLY ALL ABOUT?

504. YEAH.

505. I GUESS SO.

506. WATCH THE NECK. WATCH THE NECK!

507. MY ASS!