Futurama 2x6

Directed by Jeffrey Lynch • Rich Moore

Upon destroying the new DOOP headquarters, Zapp Brannigan and Kif find themselves court-martialed and dishonorably discharged. They take up jobs at Planet Express, where Kif learns what respect feels like and Zapp incites a mutiny against Leela.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. TO YOU BY

2. ARACHNO SPORES, THE FATAL SPORE WITH THE FUNNY NAME.

3. Cop Departmentis real.

4. The people you see are not actors.

5. Most of them aren't even people.

6. Come on, man.

7. I didn't fire off no laser.

8. Then why is there a smoking hole

9. in your ceiling, sir?

10. What?

11. Crazy upstairs lady must have been shooting down.

12. Sir, you're on the top floor of this particular domicile.

13. You get that camera out of my house.

14. Just relax, ma'am.

15. Sir, sir, put down the lamp.

16. Okay, okay. I'm cooperating.

17. That's it. Now put up your hands. Nice and slow.

18. Aw, yeah.

19. And while you're at it, un-blur your face.

20. Oh, man.

21. HEY, BENDER.

22. WERE IN THIS EPISODE.

23. NAH, THIS WEEK I'M ON CAUGHT ON TAPE 3

24. 'CAUSE OF WHAT I DID IN THE COFFEEPOT.

25. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

26. I'm just going through some things.

27. Ooh!

28. I'm going in.

29. Cop Departmentwill return after these messages.

30. Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?

31. SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!

32. Then come relive the carefree days of yore at Past-O-Rama

33. where old New York comes alive.

34. It's like stepping back into the year 2000.

35. Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes.

36. Let's disco dance, Hammurabi.

37. Dyn-o-mite!

38. PLACE, FRY. WANT TO GO? NAH.

39. TO THE YEAR 2000

40. I'LL JUST FREEZE MYSELF AGAIN.

41. COME ON, FRY. I REALLY WANNA SEE IT.

42. FOR A SIMPLER TIME...

43. HEARTLESS, HIGH-TECH MACHINES.

44. BUT, BENDER, YOU AREA—

45. COOL. IT'S JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

46. OR I'LL CUT YOU!

47. LEELA, GET A PICTURE OF ME BEING "MUGGED."

48. I'LL TAKE THE CAMERA, TOO.

49. LEARNING IS FUN.

50. OOH, ANCIENT WALL STREET.

51. WHICH HAS YET TO BE DECIPHERED.

52. WHAT IT MEANS?

53. YEAH, I ASKED A COP ONCE.

54. IT MEANS, "UP YOURS, KID."

55. I GOT TO SAY

56. I'M REALLY ENJOYING THE DAY OUT WITH YOU PEOPLE.

57. HEY, HEY! A SUICIDE BOOTH.

58. SO LONG, SUCKERS.

59. UH, SORRY, BENDER.

60. THAT'S JUST A PHONE BOOTH. OH.

61. THEY USED FOR?

62. IN NEW YORK? BATHROOMS.

63. OH.

64. I-I'LL BE OUT IN A SEC.

65. "TOKENS ONLY." HOW DOES THIS WORK?

66. I'LL SHOW YOU.

67. OH, IT'S A TURNSTILE.

68. WHAT'S THIS?

69. ANOTHER BATHROOM?

70. NO, IT'S A MOBILE APARTMENT WITH NO RENT.

71. COME ON, FRY. GET UP.

72. AH...

73. WOW.

74. OF THE 20th CENTURY'S

75. AL SHARPTON.

76. OOH.

77. NOW, THIS GUY HAD TASTE.

78. IN CEREMONIAL VESTMENTS.

79. IT A JOGGING SUIT.

80. The traffic jams of old New York were a public forum

81. for the free interchange of opinion.

82. MOVE IT, CRAP-FOR-BRAINS!

83. BUG OFF! GET HOME, BASTARD MAN!

84. It all started with Gerald Ford's famous invention

85. the automo-car, which was powered by a tank of burning fossils.

86. Here we see a 20th-century assembly line

87. where cars were constructed by primitive robots.

88. OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH! OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH!

89. WE'VE COME A LONGWAY, BABY.

90. The fruit of the robots' labor was this—

91. the stately 1992 LaToura.

92. HEY, MY GIRLFRIEND HAD ONE OF THOSE.

93. ACTUALLY, IT WASN'T HERS. IT WAS HER DAD'S.

94. ACTUALLY, SHE WASN'T MY GIRLFRIEND.

95. AND NEVER CLOSED HER CURTAINS.

96. FRY, REMEMBER WHEN

97. A SENTENCE EARLIER?

98. COME ON, LET'S SNEAK IN FOR A CLOSER LOOK.

99. SIR, WE DON'T TOUCH THE ANTIQUES, SIR.

100. YOU DON'T— UH, I'M SORRY, YOU WORK HERE.

101. RIDICULOUS GETUP YOU'RE WEARING.

102. HEY, THIS IS FROM MILLER'S OUTPOS—

103. I MEAN, YEAH, I-I WORK HERE ALL RIGHT.

104. HERE.

105. ST. KOCH'S CATHEDRAL.

106. IN THE 20th CENTURY, FRY?

107. NO. NO ONE IN NEW YORK DROVE.

108. MUCH TRAFFIC.

109. NICE. LISTEN TO THAT BABY PURR.

110. THERE'S A BABY IN THERE, HUH?

111. IT'S JUST LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE— AY-YI-YI!

112. OH, I THINK I GOT WHIPLASH.

113. YOU CAN'T HAVE WHIPLASH. YOU DON'T HAVE A NECK.

114. I MEANT ASS WHIPLASH.

115. I'M JUST GLAD WE HIT SOMETHING. I THOUGHT WE'D NEVER STOP.

116. I THINK I GOT WHIPLASH.

117. HOW'S THAT ROBOT I RAN OVER?

118. WE DID ALL WE COULD.

119. YOU MEAN HE'S—

120. GOOD AS NEW? YES.

121. LEELA, ZOIDBERG, THE REST OF YOU, THIS IS FLEXO.

122. OF THE BAHAMAS!

123. LIKE BENDER.

124. NO DUH, DREADLOCK.

125. WE'RE BOTH BENDING UNITS.

126. HEY, BRO-BOT, WHAT'S YOUR SERIAL NUMBER?

127. 3370318.

128. NO WAY. MINE'S 2716057.

129. I DON'T GET IT.

130. WE'RE BOTH EXPRESSIBLE AS THE SUM OF TWO CUBES. WHOO!

131. SO, UH, FLEXO...

132. YOUR BODY LIKE THAT.

133. YOU OKAY NOW?

134. WELL, I DON'T FEEL AS BAD AS YOU LOOK.

135. AH, I'M JUST YOU, KID.

136. YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

137. THAT'S SOME FACE YOU GOT, THOUGH.

138. A CREAM FOR THAT.

139. NO, YOU'RE GREAT. WELL, JUST LET ME KNOW...

140. IF THERE'S TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

141. ACTUALLY, YOUR LITTLE STUNT DID A NUMBER ON MY BACK.

142. IT FOR ME?UH, SURE.

143. AW, YEAH, THAT'S IT. LITTLE LOWER.

144. HOW'S THAT? LOWER.

145. YEAH, THAT'S GETTING IT. LITTLE LOWER, THOUGH.

146. I CAN'T GET ANY LOWER THAN THIS.

147. I'LL SAY. YOU'RE RUBBING MY ASS.

148. HEY, UH, CHECK IT OUT HERE.

149. SIX BEAUTIFUL DEVICES.

150. AND THEY'LL DO IT

151. OF ONE MICRON.

152. FANS, BABY!

153. ALL RIGHT, MAMA!

154. SPIN IT, BABY.

155. I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE.

156. IT'S 120 DEGREES AND THERE'S VERY LITTLE OXYGEN.

157. SHUT UP AND HOOT.

158. HUBBA, HUBBA.

159. IN MEXICO, I BELIEVE.

160. AND THAT AIN'T SILICON.

161. IT'S TUNGSTEN, AND PLENTY OF IT.

162. UH, YEAH. LOOK AT THAT EXHAUST FAN.

163. PERVERT.

164. YOO-HOO!

165. OH.

166. THANKS, MODERATE SPENDER.

167. EROTIC TRANSACTION.

168. YEAH. HOW ABOUT A LAP DANCE FOR MY PAL HERE?

169. OOH, YEAH. CHUCK-A-CHONG.

170. UH, NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, REALLY.

171. I— OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

172. I'M TELLING YOU.

173. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT FLEXO I DON'T LIKE.

174. HEY, FRY, THINK FAST.

175. GET IT? IT'S CHLORINE.

176. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S POISONOUS.

177. YEAH, KEEP LAUGHING, BRINE SHRIMP, BUT HE'S BAD NEWS.

178. RUNNING HIM OVER.

179. TAKE A RAGE DUMP, MON.

180. HE'S NO WORSE THAN BENDER.

181. HE'S MUCH WORSE.

182. OF ME ON THE INTERNET.

183. THAT'S BENDER ALL RIGHT.I'M TALKING ABOUT FLEXO.

184. OH, I GET IT. THIS IS CUTE.

185. YOU'RE JEALOUS OF BENDER'S NEW FRIEND.

186. NO, I'M NOT.

187. MARK MY WORDS. FLEXO'S EVIL.

188. HE'S THE EVIL BENDER.

189. RAGE DUMP.

190. Good news, everyone.

191. Report to my bedroom for a private exhibition.

192. HMM.

193. IN BED WITH ME.

194. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

195. FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS!

196. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

197. AND HUGE. CAN I TOUCH IT?

198. SO WHAT IS IT ALREADY?

199. IT'S A SINGLE ATOM OF JUMBONIUM.

200. AN ELEMENT SO RARE,

201. MORE THAN $50,000.

202. - HOW MUCH MORE? - 100,000.

203. THAT'S WHY I HID IT HERE, UNDER MY MATTRESS.

204. UH, PROFESSOR, CAN WE DISCUSS THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE?

205. WHY, CERTAINLY.

206. OF THIS YEAR'S

207. ON THE PLANET TOVA NINE.

208. SAFE AND SOUND.

209. WOW. WHEN I WAS

210. MISS UNIVERSE.

211. THAT'S KIND OF PATHETIC. OH, COME ON, LEELA.

212. DEEP DOWN, ALL GIRLS WANT TO BE MISS UNIVERSE.

213. NOT ME. REALLY? MAYBE IT'S JUST CUTE GIRLS.

214. DUE TO THE ATOM'S

215. IF IT WERE STOLEN.

216. THEREFORE, WE'LL NEED TO HIRE ON FOR THE MISSION.

217. OH, OH, OH! OH, MR. PROFESSOR? RIGHT HERE!

218. PEOPLE WE KNOW AND TRUST.

219. I MEAN, FLEXO'S GREAT, BUT—

220. FLEXO'S GREAT, YOU SAY?

221. OH, WELL, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

222. WELCOME ABOARD, LAD.

223. SO YOU'LL EACH TAKE GUARDING THE SAFE.

224. FIRST BENDER, THEN FLEXO, THEN FRY.

225. WAIT, HOLD ON. I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

226. LET'S JUST GO ALPHABETICALLY.

227. OKAY. FIRST BENDER, THEN FLEXO, THEN FRY.

228. WAIT, LET'S GO BY RANK.

229. OKAY. FIRST BENDER, THEN FLEXO, THEN FRY.

230. FLEXO OUTRANKS ME?

231. THAT'S "FLEXO OUTRANKS ME, SIR."

232. HALT! WHO GOES THERE? DON'T POINT THAT AT ME.

233. FRY WHO?

234. LOOK, I KNOW FLEXO'S YOUR FRIEND,

235. BUT I DON'T TRUST HIM ALONE WITH THE ATOM.

236. MY GOD, FRY.

237. JUST 'CAUSE THE GUY'S GOT A BEARD, YOU LABEL HIM AS EVIL?

238. WELL, I GOT A LABEL FOR YOU, PAL—

239. CALLED "PREJUDICE."

240. I'M NOT PREJUDICED.

241. AW, SAVE IT FOR THE CROSS BURNING, ADOLF.

242. ON THE SAFE?YOU KNOW IT.

243. WELL, LOOKS LIKE IT'S MY SHIFT.

244. OFF-LINE FOR A WHILE.

245. ALL RIGHT.

246. CAUGHT YOU!

247. AT THE ATOM.

248. SO? I LOOK AT LOTS OF ATOMS.

249. SHOULDN'T YOU BE RESTING UP FOR YOUR SHIFT?

250. OH, YOU'D LIKE IT IF I WENT TO SLEEP, WOULDN'T YOU?

251. TO SHUT YOUR YAPPER.

252. NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. YOU'RE A JOKER.

253. YEAH? WELL, HERE'S

254. I'M GOING TO SIT IT'S MY SHIFT.

255. - SUIT YOURSELF, SKINBAG. - THAT I WILL.

256. - GOOD. - GOOD.

257. - GOOD. - GOOD.

258. - GOOD. - GOOD.

259. GOOD.

260. WELL, THAT'S EIGHT HOURS.

261. YEAH, EIGHT HOURS OF SOLID BOREDOM.

262. NAH, I'M KIDDING.

263. YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MAN.

264. FINALLY, THE ATOM IS SAFE.

265. HUH?

266. WHAT IS IT? MY GOD!

267. - DID YOU HEAR MARACAS? - NO.

268. THEN IT WASN'T SPACE BANDITOS.

269. BENDER, LOCK DOWN THE SHIP.

270. DON'T LET FLEXO ESCAPE.

271. AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.

272. HAS OUTWITTED US ALL...

273. ESPECIALLY ME— BENDER.

274. STOLEN THE ATOM?

275. A SLEEP RAY ON ME.

276. IN THE FUTURE, RIGHT?

277. - NO. - MMM. THEN I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP.

278. WELL, YOU WERE SURE RIGHT ABOUT FLEXO BEING EVIL.

279. I LOCKED DOWN THE EXITS, ALREADY GOTTEN AWAY.

280. OKAY, THANKS, BENDER. LET'S FAN OUT AND LOOK FOR HIM.

281. ROGER THAT. I GOT A MAP OF THE SHIP RIGHT HERE.

282. ON FRY.

283. WE CAN'T RULE OUT THAT HE DID IT.

284. AHA!

285. AHA!

286. UH, SEARCHING. HMM.

287. FRY, WHY ARE YOU

288. DRAWER?

289. I DIDN'T FIND HIM HERE

290. TO CHECK AGAIN.

291. OW!

292. WELL, HE WASN'T IN THE, UH, KITCHEN ROOM.

293. SAY, BENDER, CAN I HOLD THAT MAP FOR A SECOND?

294. IN CASE OF A SCAVENGER HUNT?

295. I THINK NOT.

296. GIVE IT UP!

297. ALL RIGHT! TAKE IT. SHEESH.

298. WELL, LOOKS LIKE FLEXO GOT AWAY CLEAN.

299. IT'S A DARN SHAME.

300. THE SECOND WE LANDED.

301. OR MAYBE... HE NEVER LEFT AT ALL!

302. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE BENDER.

303. OF COURSE. WHO SAID I WASN'T?

304. AND THIS FRUITY NUMBER?

305. IT'S A LITTLE THING CALLED STYLE.

306. LOOK IT UP SOMETIME.

307. OUR NINTH FINALIST,

308. HALATINA SMOGMEYER.

309. MISS EARTH'S MOON— THE CRUSHINATOR.

310. THANK YOU, BOB BARKER.

311. I'M AS HAPPY AS A GIRL CAN BE. END STATEMENT.

312. THE ATOMIC TIARA?

313. DOWNPLAY THE TIARA.

314. UH, WE'LL FIND OUT

315. SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES.

316. SO YOU LOST THE ATOM, HUH?

317. YOU'RE GARBAGE, HUMAN GARBAGE!

318. THING IS WORTH?

319. - 100,000? - 200,000?

320. 200,001?

321. YOU'RE CLOSEST WITHOUT GOING OVER.

322. WELL, UH, WE'LL BE LEAVING NOW.

323. YOU RECEIVED THE ATOM.

324. I'M NOT SIGNING SQUAT.

325. BEFORE THE PAGEANT ENDS.

326. BUT, MR. BARKER—ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!

327. BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM SKINNING YOU ALIVE...

328. THE SKIN.

329. WELL, GENTLEMEN, IT APPEARS WE'RE BONED.

330. HEY! FLEXO!

331. GET HIM!

332. NEXT UP, IN WHAT IS GENEROUSLY CALLED "THE TALENT COMPETITION"

333. GANGSTER RAP, MISS— WHAT THE—

334. GOT YA!

335. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

336. SHOOT HIM! HE'S CHOKING ME!

337. NO, SHOOT HIM! HE'S CHOKING ME!

338. I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO SHOOT.

339. FLEXO! SHOOT FLEXO.

340. WOMEN ONLY ROOM!

341. ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.

342. THERE'S THE ATOM!

343. AW, GEEZ.

344. BENDER? YOUSTOLE THE ATOM?

345. YEAH, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN. IT'S VERY VALUABLE.

346. WHILE FRY WAS ASLEEP.

347. THAT'S WHY I RAN TO TELL BOB BARKER.

348. WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A SECOND.

349. IS THE EVIL BENDER?

350. I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED!

351. WELL, NOT THAT SHOCKED.

352. I'M SORRY WE SUSPECTED YOU, FLEXO.

353. IT'S JUST, WHAT

354. DON'T EVEN BOTHER. YOU PEOPLE SICKEN ME.

355. IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?

356. WELL, YOU CAN GO ROT FOR ALL I CARE.

357. NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING. YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.

358. I'M SO CONFUSED.

359. I HATED WAS GOOD.

360. WHEN I CAN'T TELL GOOD FROM EVIL?

361. AH, THEY'RE BOTH WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT.

362. IS THIS THE GUY? HUH? OH, YEAH.

363. THAT LOOKS LIKE HIM, WHATEVER.

364. - WAIT! BUT— - TAKE HIM AWAY.

365. OKAY, LET'S PUT AN END TO THIS PATHETIC HOEDOWN.

366. BRANNIGAN, READ THE THING.

367. IT FIGURES.

368. THE MOST CHAUVINISTIC, DEGRADING, DEHUMANIZING—

369. "LEELA"?

370. WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING A—

371. OH, LOOK AT THAT.

372. I FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS!

373. WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE— IDIOTS?

374. I'M STILL GOING MANO A MANO WITH THIS ENVELOPE.

375. AND THE WINNER IS...

376. MISS VEGA FOUR.

377. I ALMOST HAD THAT TIARA.

378. ME, TOO.

379. WELL, YOU GUYS MIGHT BOTH BE LOSERS,

380. FROM THE RADIATOR PLANET.

381. FRY, THAT'S A RADIATOR.

382. OH.

383. WITHIN TEN FEET OF HERE?