Futurama 2x5

Directed by Mark Ervin

Professor Farnsworth installs an empathy chip in Bender after the inconsiderate robot flushes Nibbler down the toilet. With his newfound emotions, a concerned Bender ventures into the mutant-infested sewers to rescue Leela's beloved pet.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. MMM... MMM!

2. NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL 1,000 YEARS OF PROGRESS.

3. A BAVARIAN CREAM DOG THAT'S ALSO SELF-MICROWAVING.

4. AW, GEEZ, LET'S JUST PRAY

5. I HAVE THE ENERGY TO GET MYSELF ANOTHER BEER.

6. AH, WHAT IS THIS? THE MIDDLE AGES?

7. LOOK AT YOU GUYS... NO OFFENSE, FRY

8. BUT YOU'VE BECOME A FAT SACK OF CRAP.

9. SACK!

10. AND, BENDER, YOUR BEER BELLY'S SO BIG

11. YOUR DOOR WON'T EVEN CLOSE

12. AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

13. COME ON, WE'RE TAKING YOU PIGS TO THE GYM.

14. THE GYMNASIUM? EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.

15. FOR SOME REASON, I'M FRISKY AS A SQUID ON TUESDAY.

16. HEY, WHO'S UP FOR A NICE HOT STEAM?

17. WE CRUSTACEANS DON'T LIKE STEAM.

18. I'M GOING TO GO WORK OUT WITH THE NAUTILUS.

19. WHAT UP, DR. Z?

20. YO, YO, YO, WHASSUP? WHASSUP?

21. GIVE UP THE ROCK!

22. COED STEAM ROOMS...

23. I LOVE THE FUTURE!

24. UH, FRY, YOU'RE IN THE WOMEN'S STEAM ROOM.

25. AH... FUTURISTIC.

26. PSST. LOOK WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE

27. BEFORE GENETIC ENGINEERING.

28. THOSE POOR 20th-CENTURY WOMEN.

29. HEY, HANDSOME...

30. IS THERE ROOM IN THERE FOR TWO?

31. YOU WISH.

32. HEY, LEELA, LOOK WHO'S THE SUPERSTUD.

33. HMM, SOMEBODY MUST HAVE TURNED DOWN THE GRAVITY.

34. I'LL FIX IT FOR YOU.

35. GIVE ME THAT.

36. MORE WEIGHT.

37. DR. ZOIDBERG, WHAT'S THAT JAZZ ON YOUR HEAD?

38. ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS, MORE WEIGHT!

39. MORE!

40. MORE!

41. MAYBE YOU COULD DO MORE REPS WITH LESS WEIGHT.

42. HEY, LOOKS LIKE ZOIDBERG'S FINALLY COMING OUT OF HIS SHELL.

43. GET IT?

44. HE'S COMING OUT OF...

45. NICE AND GENTLE.

46. WE DON'T WANT ANY UNNECESSARY STRESS.

47. IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE GYM?

48. I'M A DOCTOR!

49. I WONDER WHY DR. ZOIDBERG IS ACTING THIS WAY?

50. OUT OF ALL OF US, HE ALWAYS SEEMED THE MOST NORMAL.

51. I AM NORMAL.

52. AMY, TAKE OFF THESE RUBBER BANDS

53. AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW NORMAL I AM.

54. FOOL ME SEVEN TIMES, SHAME ON YOU.

55. FOOL ME EIGHT OR MORE TIMES, SHAME ON ME.

56. MAYBE HE HAS A PARASITE.

57. MAYBE HE IS A PARASITE!

58. IT'S ALWAYS SO SAD WHEN A FRIEND GOES CRAZY

59. AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BIG CLAMBAKE AND COOK HIM!

60. YEE-HA!

61. NOW, NOW, THIS WON'T DO.

62. LET ME JUST GIVE OLD ZOIDIE A SEDATIVE.

63. AH... MUCH BETTER.

64. YOU CAN TAKE OFF THESE RUBBER BANDS NOW.

65. I'LL DO IT.

66. STOP! NO!

67. MORON!

68. HMM, OH-HO! A-HA!

69. THERE'S THE PROBLEM.

70. GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT, PROFESSOR.

71. IS IT FIN ROT?

72. IT'S FIN ROT, ISN'T IT?

73. TELL ME IT'S NOT FIN ROT!

74. RELAX MY CHITINY CHUM.

75. THERE'S NO PROBLEM.

76. YOU'RE JUST HEAVY WITH MALE JELLY.

77. BLECCH!

78. IT MUST BE MATING SEASON FOR ZOIDBERG'S PEOPLE.

79. A CHAOTIC TIME WHEN HIS BEHAVIOR IS DICTATED

80. BY THE TINY BRAIN IN HIS RUMP.

81. YECH!

82. THERE'S ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DO...

83. I'LL GET THE WATER BOILING.

84. WE, BY WHICH I MEAN YOU

85. WILL HAVE TO RUSH HIM TO HIS ANCIENT HOMEWORLD

86. WHICH WILL SHORTLY ERUPT

87. IN AN ORGY OF INVERTEBRATE SEX.

88. OH, BABY, I'M THERE!

89. FRY, DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND

90. THE WORD INVERTEBRATE?

91. NOPE, BUT THAT'S NOT THE WORD I'M INTERESTED IN.

92. NO NEED TO PACK PANTS, PEOPLE!

93. LET'S ROLL!

94. DR. ZOIDBERG SAID

95. I SHOULD HOLD THESE WHILE HE'S GONE.

96. MORON!

97. WELCOME HOME, OLD FRIEND.

98. JUST 19 HOURS UNTIL THE MATING FRENZY.

99. EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.

100. SEE YOU THERE, DOCTOR...

101. IS THAT HOW YOU SAY ZOIDBERG?

102. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CALL ATTENTION

103. TO HIS SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.

104. YOU'RE LOOKING LESS NUTS, CRABBY.

105. I'M FEELING LESS NUTS, THANK YOU

106. BECAUSE TOMORROW, I WILL BE DEPOSITING MY JELLY

107. IN THE CLOACAL VENTS OF A FEMALE

108. IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.

109. WHO'S THE LUCKY LOBSTERINA?

110. I DON'T KNOW YET

111. BUT I SHALL ATTRACT ONE THIS AFTERNOON

112. WITH AN EROTIC DISPLAY.

113. IT'S AMAZING THAT YOUR PEOPLE CAN FALL IN LOVE SO FAST.

114. LOVE? THAT WORD IS UNKNOWN HERE.

115. I'M SIMPLY LOOKING

116. FOR A FEMALE SWOLLEN WITH EGGS

117. TO ACCEPT MY GENETIC MATERIAL.

118. YOU AND ME BOTH, BROTHER.

119. AH, MY OLD SCUTTLING GROUNDS.

120. LET'S PULL OVER.

121. I USED TO HANG OUT HERE AS A LARVA.

122. IT LOOKED SO MUCH BIGGER BACK THEN.

123. WHO'S THE TOUGH GUY NOW, VINNIE?

124. LOOK, OUTDOOR THEATER.

125. LET'S GET TICKETS. OH, LET'S DO.

126. NO, IT'S THE CEREMONY OF CLAW PLOCK

127. WHERE MY SPECIES

128. FIGHT TO THE DEATH OVER MATTERS OF HONOR.

129. ALSO WHETHER ABBREVIATIONS COUNT IN SCRABBLE.

130. THEY DON'T.

131. I DIDN'T COME HERE

132. TO SEE ANY ACTIVITY INVOLVING TWO GUYS.

133. WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE DO YOUR EROTIC DISPLAY?

134. SAME PLACE AS YOUR SPECIES...

135. THE BEACH.

136. HOW DO I LOOK?

137. LIKE WHALE BARF.

138. THEN THE ILLUSION IS COMPLETE.

139. HEY, I WONDER IF THESE GUYS ARE HERE

140. TO WATCH THE EROTIC DISPLAY, TOO.

141. PERFECT. THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ME STAND OUT.

142. LOOK HOW RIDICULOUS THEY LOOK.

143. PLEASE, HE'S NO DIFFERENT

144. FROM THE REST OF YOU ORGANISMS

145. SHOOTING DNA AT EACH OTHER TO MAKE BABIES.

146. I FIND IT OFFENSIVE.

147. KEEP YOUR JELLY AWAY FROM MY EGGS.

148. SO NOT INTERESTED.

149. HMM! I'VE HEARD THAT LINE BEFORE.

150. OH, WHAT'S THE POINT?

151. WHY IS ZOIDBERG THE ONLY ONE STILL ALONE?

152. 'CAUSE HE'S A LOSER, THAT'S WHY.

153. HE'S THE LOBSTER EQUIVALENT OF FRY.

154. HEY, I CAN GET ANY GIRL I WANT, ANYTIME I WANT.

155. I'M JUST TOO BUSY.

156. EDNA.

157. EDNA, IT'S ME, ZOIDBERG.

158. REMEMBER? FROM HIGH SCHOOL?

159. YOU USED TO LAUGH AT ME

160. BECAUSE MY FACE WAS COVERED WITH BARNACLES?

161. ZOIDBERG?

162. WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BACK IN TOWN.

163. I HEARD YOU WENT OFF AND BECAME A RICH DOCTOR.

164. I'VE PERFORMED A FEW MERCY KILLINGS.

165. SO, AS LONG AS I'M IN TOWN

166. I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE...

167. OH, GEE... YEAH, I'M...

168. JUST GOING THROUGH A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT NOW

169. AND... LOOK, ZOIDBERG

170. I CARRY MORE EGGS THAN ANY OTHER FEMALE

171. AND I... OWE IT TO OUR RACE

172. TO PICK A MATE WHO'S STUFFED WITH MALE JELLY.

173. MAYBE A ROCK STAR.

174. OR MAYBE A DOCTOR.

175. I'M SORRY, ZOIDBERG

176. YOU'RE JUST AN INFERIOR MALE SPECIMEN.

177. NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN.

178. NO ONE WILL EVER WANT

179. TO MATE WITH ME.

180. NOT WITH A PUNY CLAW LIKE THIS.

181. DID YOU SEE THOSE OTHER GUYS?

182. THEY LOOK LIKE GIANT CLAWS WITH BODIES ATTACHED.

183. AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T SMELL AS BAD AS THEM.

184. YOU'RE RIGHT!

185. MY STINK GLAND IS WEAK. SMELL.

186. LISTEN, DOC, IF YOU WANT TO SCORE

187. YOU'VE GOT TO FAKE LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE.

188. JUST LOOK HER IN THE EYE, START CRYING AND SAY

189. "I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY."

190. OH... IF A GUY EVER DID THAT TO ME, I'D KNOW IT.

191. WAIT A SECOND.

192. THEY'VE ALL BEEN DOING THAT TO ME.

193. EVEN SEAN.

194. HMM... THIS "LOVE" INTRIGUES ME.

195. TEACH ME TO FAKE IT.

196. OKAY, YOU'RE ON A DATE.

197. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU DO?

198. ASK HER TO MATE WITH ME.

199. NO. TELL HER SHE'S SPECIAL.

200. BUT SHE'S NOT.

201. SHE'S MERELY THE FEMALE WITH THE LARGEST CLUTCH OF EGGS.

202. WELL, TELL HER THAT, AND THEN...

203. THEN MATING.

204. NO, MAKE UP SOME FEELINGS

205. AND TELL HER YOU HAVE THEM.

206. YES?

207. IS DESIRE TO MATE A FEELING?

208. OH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING.

209. IT'S ALL SO COMPLICATED WITH THE FLOWERS AND THE ROMANCE

210. AND THE LIES UPON LIES...

211. OKAY, OKAY, DON'T WORRY.

212. THE LOVE-MEISTER WILL TAKE YOU UNDER HIS WING.

213. WHAT, NOW THERE'S A BIRD INVOLVED?

214. OKAY, GO AHEAD.

215. WHAT THE..? DR. ZOIDBERG?

216. YOUR MATING DISPLAY FAILED.

217. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TALK TO ME?

218. I HAVE NO IDEA.

219. YOU JUST WANT TO TALK.

220. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MATING.

221. I JUST WANT TO TALK.

222. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MATING.

223. FRY, THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

224. DR. ZOIDBERG, THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE... BUT OKAY.

225. START WITH A COMPLIMENT.

226. TELL HER SHE LOOKS THIN.

227. YOU SEEM MALNOURISHED.

228. ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM INTERNAL PARASITES?

229. WHY, YES. THANKS FOR NOTICING.

230. NOW ASK HER HOW HER DAY WAS.

231. WHY WOULD I WANT TO KNOW?

232. YOU WOULDN'T. ASK ANYWAY.

233. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

234. WELL, FIRST, I GOT UP AND HAD A PIECE OF TOAST

235. THEN I BRUSHED MY TEETH

236. THEN I WENT TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME FISH, THEN I...

237. FRY, LOOK WHAT YOU DID.

238. SHE WON'T SHUT UP.

239. THAT'S NORMAL.

240. JUST NOD YOUR HEAD AND SAY, "UH-HUH."

241. UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

242. AND THEN YOU THREW AN OCTOPUS AT MY WINDOW.

243. YOU KNOW, ZOIDBERG, IT'S CRAZY, BUT WHEN YOU TALK THIS WAY

244. YOUR OBVIOUS DEFICIENCIES AS A MALE SEEM...

245. LESS OBVIOUS.

246. YOUR GENES SEEM LESS DETRIMENTAL.

247. YOU EVEN STINK MORE.

248. DO I ASK HER TO MATE NOW?

249. THIRD DATE.

250. SO I RETURNED HIS ARTIFICIAL HEART

251. AND EVER SINCE THEN

252. I'VE BEEN KNOWN BY THE NAME OF HONEST BENDER.

253. I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO... COAT CHECK #84.

254. TURN IT OVER.

255. OH. EDNA,

256. OF ALL THE SLIMY, GROSS CRAB MONSTERS

257. ON THIS PLANET

258. YOU ARE APPARENTLY THE HOTTEST.

259. OY.

260. THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

261. YES, WELL, EXCUSE ME.

262. I'VE GOT TO POWDER MY MOUTH FLAPS.

263. UH, ME, TOO.

264. I'M CONFUSED, FRY.

265. I'M FEELING A STRANGE NEW EMOTION.

266. IS IT LOVE WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT A FEMALE

267. FOR REASONS BEYOND MATING?

268. NOPE. MUST BE SOME WEIRD ALIEN EMOTION.

269. ZOIDBERG SAID SOME DUMB STUFF

270. BUT HE'S A NICE GUY, REALLY.

271. IT'S JUST THAT FRY'S BEEN TELLING HIM WHAT TO SAY

272. AND FRY'S A... DO YOU HAVE IDIOTS ON YOUR PLANET?

273. FRY?

274. YOU MEAN, WORDS OF SUCH BEAUTY

275. CAME FROM THE BLOWHOLE OF THAT HIDEOUS ALIEN?

276. YEAH. WHAT?

277. LOOK, NEVER MIND THE WORDS.

278. ZOIDBERG'S A DOCTOR.

279. A DOCTOR, HONEY.

280. HMM...

281. COME IN.

282. HELLO, FRY.

283. CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME SURF AND TURF?

284. NO, THANKS.

285. I JUST CAME TO TELL YOU THAT ZOIDBERG'S REALLY GREAT.

286. HE'S GOT MALE JELLY COMING OUT THE WAZOO.

287. WELL, THAT IS WHERE IT COMES OUT

288. BUT JELLY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

289. I KNOW ZOIDBERG'S MAGICAL WORDS WERE REALLY YOURS.

290. TEACH ME TO LOVE YOU

291. SQUISHY POET FROM BEYOND THE STARS.

292. UH, I'M FLATTERED, REALLY.

293. IF I WAS GOING TO DO IT WITH A BIG, FREAKY MUD BUG

294. YOU'D BE WAY UP THE LIST.

295. HUSH, YOU ROMANTIC FOOL.

296. ENGAGE YOUR MANDIBLES AND KISS ME.

297. EDNA?

298. I COULDN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER. I...

299. FRY!

300. DR. ZOIDBERG, IT'S NOT HOW IT LOOKS.

301. HER CAVIAR IS ON YOUR NECK!

302. BUT... OH, IT'S TRUE, ZOIDBERG.

303. WE CAN'T HIDE IT ANY LONGER.

304. FRY AND I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE

305. AND WE'RE GOING TO MATE TOMORROW.

306. WHAT?

307. FRY, I CHALLENGE YOU TO CLAW PLOCK.

308. ENGLISH, PLEASE?

309. A FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

310. AND IF YOU SURVIVE, WE'LL MAKE SWEET LOVE.

311. THE LAW IS CLEAR.

312. FRY AND ZOIDBERG SHALL FIGHT TO THE DEATH

313. FOR THE CLAW OF THE BEAUTIFUL EDNA!

314. BUT I DON'T WANT HER!

315. ONCE INVOKED, THE SACRED TRADITION OF CLAW PLOCK

316. CANNOT BE TAKEN BACK.

317. IT IS A RECENT TRADITION, ONLY 18 YEARS OLD

318. BUT IT IS A TRADITION NONETHELESS!

319. GET READY, FRY.

320. I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR SWIM BLADDER OUT

321. AND SHOW IT TO YOU.

322. DR. ZOIDBERG, THIS IS MADNESS!

323. YOU'RE BEING IRRATIONAL!

324. OF COURSE I'M BEING IRRATIONAL!

325. I'M IN LOVE!

326. AW...

327. LEELA!

328. RIGHT, RIGHT.

329. YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS MADNESS!

330. LISTEN, LADY, AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE

331. I'M A HIGHLY DESIRABLE MALE, GROANING WITH JELLY

332. YET I EMBRACE A LIFE OF CELIBACY

333. IN ORDER TO UPHOLD OUR CRAZY TRADITIONS.

334. ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS MUST DIE!

335. FATE IS CRUEL AND UNYIELDING, AND WHAT MUST BE, MUST BE.

336. TAKING ALL BETS!

337. I'M GIVING NINE TO TWO ON ZOIDBERG

338. THE CRAB WITH THE JAB, THE GREAT RED HOPE.

339. COME ON, BABY!

340. FRY, IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE MEDICAL SCHOOL

341. DISEMBOWELING IN YOUR SPECIES—

342. FATAL OR NON-FATAL?

343. FATAL.

344. LARGE BET ON MYSELF IN ROUND ONE!

345. EDNA, HAVE YOU ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE BEGINS THE CLAW PLOCK?

346. I DO.

347. I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT TODAY I GOT UP

348. AND I HAD A PIECE OF TOAST.

349. THEN I BRUSHED MY TEETH...

350. SHUT UP!

351. I LOVE YOU, FRY!

352. NO!

353. FRY, HAVING GUESSED WHAT ANIMAL I WAS THINKING OF

354. YOU SHALL HAVE FIRST CHOICE OF WEAPON.

355. UH-HUH... AH!

356. AND YOU, DOCTOR?

357. I CHOOSE MY OWN CLAWS.

358. I WANT THE TACTILE PLEASURE OF CHOPPING HIM

359. RIGHT HERE, IN THE GONADS.

360. SHH! NOBODY CORRECT HIM!

361. FRY, I'VE NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING BEFORE

362. BUT IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE

363. WHEN IT COMES TO THE NINTH ROUND

364. JUST LET HIM WIN.

365. BUT IT'S A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

366. OH, SO SUDDENLY THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU!

367. PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

368. UH-OH.

369. LET CLAW PLO BEGIN!

370. OW!

371. OW!

372. COME ON, FRY!

373. DIE WITH DIGNITY!

374. A-HA!

375. OOPS.

376. NO! I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK!

377. CRACK HIM OPEN!

378. KILL HIM!

379. PSST! FRY, TAKE A DIVE!

380. CLAW PLOCK, CLAW PLOCK, CLAW PLOCK!

381. MY FELLOW FISH MONSTERS,

382. FAR BE IT FROM ME TO QUESTION YOUR STUPID CIVILIZATION

383. OR ITS DUMB CUSTOMS

384. BUT IS SQUEEZING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT

385. WITH A GIANT NUTCRACKER REALLY GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING?

386. DR. ZOIDBERG IS MY FRIEND

387. AND THOUGH A WOMAN HAS COME BETWEEN US

388. I SAY WE'LL ALWAYS REMAIN FRIENDS.

389. AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?

390. ONE REASON.

391. YOU BASTARD!

392. I'LL KILL YOU!

393. YOU BASTARD!

394. WAIT, STOP!

395. EVERYONE IS GONE!

396. EDNA?

397. HONEY?

398. EDNA!

399. EW!

400. MY GOD!

401. THE FRENZY!

402. OH, THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE IN LIFE, AND I MISSED IT.

403. OH, I'M SORRY, DOC.

404. OW! OW!

405. AH...

406. THE FRENZY IS OVER.

407. HOW WILL I EVER GET RID OF MY MALE JELLY NOW?

408. I'LL LEND YOU THIS.

409. FRY!

410. HEY, HEY!

411. SHOO, GET AWAY!

412. HEY! WHAT'S WITH THE FLYING JERKS?

413. THEY COME TO FEAST AFTER THE FRENZY.

414. ONCE MY SPECIES PASSES ON ITS GENES, IT DIES.

415. YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE

416. BETWEEN A LIFE WITHOUT SEX AND A GRUESOME DEATH?

417. YES.

418. TOUGH CALL.

419. WELL, IT WAS NICE OF YOU

420. TO LET ME REATTACH YOUR ARM, FRY.

421. ESPECIALLY AFTER I MADE A COMPLETE EEL OUT OF MYSELF.

422. NO BIGGIE.

423. YES, BIGGIE.

424. I LEARNED TO FEEL THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT BEFORE—

425. LOVE, JEALOUSY, PASSION FOR DISEMBOWELING.

426. I OWE IT ALL TO YOU.

427. THERE. I PRONOUNCE THE OPERATION A SUCCESS.

428. HOORAY! YEAH!

429. I MAY NOT KNOW FROM EMOTIONS

430. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICINE?

431. FORGET ABOUT IT.

432. I DON'T MEAN TO NITPICK, SUPER-DOC

433. BUT DO YOU THINK MAYBE

434. YOU COULD TAKE ONE MORE WHACK AT THIS?

435. FOR YOU, MY FRIEND? ANYTHING.

436. MY LEGS!

437. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

438. THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM.