1. Mmm... mmm!Copy !req
2. Now this is what I call
1,000 years of progress.Copy !req
3. A Bavarian cream dog
that's also self-microwaving.Copy !req
4. Aw, geez, let's just pray...Copy !req
5. I have the energy to get myself
another beer.Copy !req
6. Ah, what is this?
The Middle Ages?Copy !req
7. Look at you guys.
No offense, Fry...Copy !req
8. but you've become
a fat sack of crap.Copy !req
9. Sack!Copy !req
10. And, Bender,
your beer belly's so big...Copy !req
11. your door
won't even close...Copy !req
12. and that doesn't
even make sense.Copy !req
13. Come on, we're taking
you pigs to the gym.Copy !req
14. The gymnasium?
Excellent, excellent.Copy !req
15. For some reason, I'm frisky
as a squid on Tuesday.Copy !req
16. Hey, who's up
for a nice hot steam?Copy !req
17. We crustaceans
don't like steam.Copy !req
18. I'm going to go work
out with the Nautilus.Copy !req
19. What up, Dr. Z?Copy !req
20. Yo, yo, yo,
whassup? Whassup?Copy !req
21. Give up the rock!Copy !req
22. Coed steam rooms.Copy !req
23. I love the future!Copy !req
24. Uh, Fry, you're in
the women's steam room.Copy !req
25. Ah... futuristic.Copy !req
26. Psst. Look what
life was like...Copy !req
27. before genetic engineering.Copy !req
28. Those poor
20th-century women.Copy !req
29. Hey, handsome.
Is there room in there for two?Copy !req
30. You wish.Copy !req
31. Hey, Leela,
look who's the superstud.Copy !req
32. Hmm, somebody must have
turned down the gravity.Copy !req
33. I'll fix it for you.Copy !req
34. Give me that.Copy !req
35. More weight.Copy !req
36. Dr. Zoidberg,
what's that jazz on your head?Copy !req
37. Enough with the questions.
More weight!Copy !req
38. More!Copy !req
39. More!Copy !req
40. Maybe you could do more reps
with less weight.Copy !req
41. Hey, looks like Zoidberg's
finally coming out of his shell.Copy !req
42. Get it?Copy !req
43. He's coming out of...Copy !req
44. Nice and gentle.Copy !req
45. We don't want
any unnecessary stress.Copy !req
46. Is there a doctor in the gym?Copy !req
47. I'm a doctor!Copy !req
48. I wonder why Dr. Zoidberg
is acting this way?Copy !req
49. Out of all of us, he always
seemed the most normal.Copy !req
50. I am normal.Copy !req
51. Amy, take off these rubber bands...Copy !req
52. and I'll show you
how normal I am.Copy !req
53. Fool me seven times,
shame on you.Copy !req
54. Fool me eight or more
times, shame on me.Copy !req
55. Maybe he has
a parasite.Copy !req
56. Maybe he is
a parasite!Copy !req
57. It's always so sad
when a friend goes crazy...Copy !req
58. and you have to have
a big clambake and cook him!Copy !req
59. Yee-ha!Copy !req
60. Now, now, this won't do.Copy !req
61. Let me just give old
Zoidie a sedative.Copy !req
62. Ah... much better.Copy !req
63. You can take off
these rubber bands now.Copy !req
64. I'll do it.Copy !req
65. Stop! No!Copy !req
66. Moron!Copy !req
67. Hmm, oh-ho!
A-ha!Copy !req
68. There's the problem.Copy !req
69. Give it to me straight,
Professor.Copy !req
70. Is it fin rot?Copy !req
71. It's fin rot, isn't it?Copy !req
72. Tell me it's not fin rot!Copy !req
73. Relax, my chitiny chum.Copy !req
74. There's no problem.Copy !req
75. You're just heavy
with male jelly.Copy !req
76. Blecch!Copy !req
77. It must be mating season
for Zoidberg's people.Copy !req
78. A chaotic time
when his behavior is dictated...Copy !req
79. by the tiny brain
in his rump.Copy !req
80. Yech!Copy !req
81. There's only one thing
we can do.Copy !req
82. I'll get
the water boiling.Copy !req
83. We, by which I mean you...Copy !req
84. will have to rush him
to his ancient homeworld...Copy !req
85. which will shortly erupt...Copy !req
86. in an orgy of invertebrate sex.Copy !req
87. Oh, baby, I'm there!Copy !req
88. Fry, do you even
understand...Copy !req
89. the word invertebrate?Copy !req
90. Nope, but that's not the word
I'm interested in.Copy !req
91. No need to pack pants,
people!Copy !req
92. Let's roll!Copy !req
93. Dr. Zoidberg said I should
hold these while he's gone.Copy !req
94. Moron!Copy !req
95. Welcome home,
old friend.Copy !req
96. Just 19 hours
until the mating frenzy.Copy !req
97. Excellent, excellent.Copy !req
98. See you there, Doctor...Copy !req
99. Is that how
you say Zoidberg?Copy !req
100. You didn't have
to call attention...Copy !req
101. to his speech impediment.Copy !req
102. You're looking less nuts,
crabby.Copy !req
103. I'm feeling less
nuts, thank you...Copy !req
104. because tomorrow, I will
be depositing my jelly...Copy !req
105. in the cloacal
vents of a female...Copy !req
106. if you catch my drift.Copy !req
107. Who's the lucky lobsterina?Copy !req
108. I don't know yet...Copy !req
109. but I shall attract one
this afternoon...Copy !req
110. with an erotic display.Copy !req
111. It's amazing that your people
can fall in love so fast.Copy !req
112. Love? That word
is unknown here.Copy !req
113. I'm simply looking for a female
swollen with eggs...Copy !req
114. to accept
my genetic material.Copy !req
115. You and me both, brother.Copy !req
116. Ah, my old scuttling grounds.Copy !req
117. Let's pull over.Copy !req
118. I used to hang out
here as a larva.Copy !req
119. It looked so much
bigger back then.Copy !req
120. Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?Copy !req
121. Look, outdoor theater.Copy !req
122. Let's get tickets.
Oh, let's do.Copy !req
123. No, it's the ceremony
of Claw Plock...Copy !req
124. where my species...Copy !req
125. fight to the death
over matters of honor.Copy !req
126. Also whether abbreviations
count in Scrabble.Copy !req
127. They don't.Copy !req
128. I didn't come here to see
any activity involving two guys.Copy !req
129. Where do you people do
your erotic display?Copy !req
130. Same place as your species...Copy !req
131. the beach.Copy !req
132. How do I look?Copy !req
133. Like whale barf.Copy !req
134. Then the illusion
is complete.Copy !req
135. Hey, I wonder if these guys are here
to watch the erotic display too.Copy !req
136. Perfect. This ought to make me
stand out.Copy !req
137. Look how ridiculous
they look.Copy !req
138. Please, he's no different from
the rest of you organisms...Copy !req
139. shooting DNA at each other
to make babies.Copy !req
140. I find it offensive.Copy !req
141. Keep your jelly
away from my eggs.Copy !req
142. So not interested.Copy !req
143. Hmm! I've heard
that line before.Copy !req
144. Oh, what's the point?Copy !req
145. Why is Zoidberg
the only one still alone?Copy !req
146. 'Cause he's a loser, that's why.Copy !req
147. He's the lobster equivalent
of Fry.Copy !req
148. Hey, I can get any girl I want,
anytime I want.Copy !req
149. I'm just too busy.Copy !req
150. Edna.Copy !req
151. Edna, it's me, Zoidberg.Copy !req
152. Remember? From high school?Copy !req
153. You used to laugh at me...Copy !req
154. because my face was covered
with barnacles?Copy !req
155. Zoidberg?Copy !req
156. Well, I didn't know
you were back in town.Copy !req
157. I heard you went off
and became a rich doctor.Copy !req
158. I've performed
a few mercy killings.Copy !req
159. So, as long as I'm in town...Copy !req
160. I was wondering
if maybe...Copy !req
161. Oh, gee... Yeah, I'm...Copy !req
162. just going through a
lot of things right now...Copy !req
163. and... Look, Zoidberg...Copy !req
164. I carry more eggs
than any other female...Copy !req
165. and I... owe it to our race...Copy !req
166. to pick a mate
who's stuffed with male jelly.Copy !req
167. Maybe a rock star.Copy !req
168. Or maybe a doctor.Copy !req
169. I'm sorry, Zoidberg...Copy !req
170. you're just an inferior
male specimen.Copy !req
171. Nice seeing you again.Copy !req
172. No one will ever want
to mate with me.Copy !req
173. Not with a puny claw like this.Copy !req
174. Did you see those other guys?Copy !req
175. They look like giant claws
with bodies attached.Copy !req
176. At least you didn't
smell as bad as them.Copy !req
177. You're right!
My stink gland is weak. Smell.Copy !req
178. Listen, Doc, if
you want to score...Copy !req
179. you've got to fake
like you're in love.Copy !req
180. Just look her in the eye,
start crying and say...Copy !req
181. "I've never been so happy."Copy !req
182. Oh! If a guy ever did that
to me, I'd know it.Copy !req
183. Wait a second.Copy !req
184. They've all been doing that
to me.Copy !req
185. Even Sean.Copy !req
186. Hmm. This "love"
intrigues me.Copy !req
187. Teach me to fake it.Copy !req
188. Okay, you're on a date.Copy !req
189. What's the first thing you do?Copy !req
190. Ask her to mate with me.Copy !req
191. No. Tell her she's special.Copy !req
192. But she's not.Copy !req
193. She's merely the female
with the largest clutch of eggs.Copy !req
194. Well, tell her that, and then...Copy !req
195. Then mating.Copy !req
196. No, make up some feelings...Copy !req
197. and tell her you have them.Copy !req
198. Yes?Copy !req
199. Is desire to mate
a feeling?Copy !req
200. Oh, you're not even trying.Copy !req
201. It's all so complicated
with the flowers and the romance...Copy !req
202. and the lies upon lies...Copy !req
203. Okay, don't worry. The love-meister
will take you under his wing.Copy !req
204. What, now there's
a bird involved?Copy !req
205. Okay, go ahead.Copy !req
206. What the... Dr. Zoidberg?Copy !req
207. Your mating display failed.Copy !req
208. Why are you trying
to talk to me?Copy !req
209. I have no idea.Copy !req
210. You just want to talk.Copy !req
211. It has nothing to do
with mating.Copy !req
212. I just want to talk.Copy !req
213. It has nothing to do
with mating.Copy !req
214. Fry, that doesn't make sense.Copy !req
215. Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make
sense, but okay.Copy !req
216. Start with a compliment.Copy !req
217. Tell her she looks thin.Copy !req
218. You seem malnourished.Copy !req
219. Are you suffering
from internal parasites?Copy !req
220. Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.Copy !req
221. Now ask her how her day was.Copy !req
222. Why would I want to know?Copy !req
223. You wouldn't. Ask anyway.Copy !req
224. How was your day?Copy !req
225. Well, first, I got up
and had a piece of toast...Copy !req
226. then I brushed my teeth...Copy !req
227. then I went to the store
to buy some fish, then I...Copy !req
228. Fry, look what you did.
She won't shut up.Copy !req
229. That's normal.Copy !req
230. Just nod your head and say,
"Uh-huh."Copy !req
231. Uh-huh, uh-huh.Copy !req
232. And then you threw
an octopus at my window.Copy !req
233. You know, Zoidberg, it's crazy,
but when you talk this way...Copy !req
234. your obvious deficiencies
as a male seem...Copy !req
235. less obvious.Copy !req
236. Your genes seem
less detrimental.Copy !req
237. You even stink more.Copy !req
238. Do I ask her to mate now?Copy !req
239. Third date.Copy !req
240. So I returned
his artificial heart...Copy !req
241. and ever since then...Copy !req
242. I've been known by the name
of Honest Bender.Copy !req
243. I'd like to propose a toast
to... Coat check #84.Copy !req
244. Turn it over.Copy !req
245. Oh. Edna...Copy !req
246. of all the slimy, gross
crab monsters on this planet...Copy !req
247. you are apparently
the hottest.Copy !req
248. Oy.Copy !req
249. That's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
250. Yes, well, excuse me.Copy !req
251. I've got to powder
my mouth flaps.Copy !req
252. Uh, me, too.Copy !req
253. I'm confused, Fry.Copy !req
254. I'm feeling a strange
new emotion.Copy !req
255. Is it love
when you care about a female...Copy !req
256. for reasons beyond mating?Copy !req
257. Nope. Must be some weird
alien emotion.Copy !req
258. Zoidberg said some dumb stuff,
but he's a nice guy, really.Copy !req
259. It's just that Fry's been telling him
what to say, and Fry's a...Copy !req
260. - Do you have idiots on your planet?
- Fry?Copy !req
261. You mean,
words of such beauty...Copy !req
262. came from the blowhole
of that hideous alien?Copy !req
263. Yeah. What?Copy !req
264. Look, never mind the words.Copy !req
265. Zoidberg's a doctor.Copy !req
266. A doctor, honey.Copy !req
267. Hmm...Copy !req
268. Come in.Copy !req
269. Hello, Fry.Copy !req
270. Can I interest you
in some surf and turf?Copy !req
271. No, thanks.Copy !req
272. I just came to tell you
that Zoidberg's really great.Copy !req
273. He's got male jelly
coming out the wazoo.Copy !req
274. Well, that is where it comes out...Copy !req
275. but jelly isn't everything.Copy !req
276. I know Zoidberg's magical words
were really yours.Copy !req
277. Teach me to love you...Copy !req
278. squishy poet
from beyond the stars.Copy !req
279. Uh, I'm flattered, really.Copy !req
280. If I was going to do it
with a big, freaky mud bug...Copy !req
281. you'd be way up the list.Copy !req
282. Hush, you romantic fool.Copy !req
283. Engage your mandibles
and kiss me.Copy !req
284. Edna?Copy !req
285. I couldn't stand it
any longer. L...Copy !req
286. Fry!Copy !req
287. Dr. Zoidberg,
it's not how it looks.Copy !req
288. Her caviar is on your neck!Copy !req
289. - But...
- Oh, it's true, Zoidberg.Copy !req
290. We can't hide it any longer.Copy !req
291. Fry and I have fallen in love
and we're going to mate tomorrow.Copy !req
292. What?Copy !req
293. Fry, I challenge you
to Claw Plock.Copy !req
294. English, please?Copy !req
295. A fight to the death.Copy !req
296. And if you survive,
we'll make sweet love.Copy !req
297. The law is clear.Copy !req
298. Fry and Zoidberg
shall fight to the death...Copy !req
299. for the claw
of the beautiful Edna!Copy !req
300. But I don't want her!Copy !req
301. Once invoked, the sacred
tradition of Claw Plock...Copy !req
302. cannot be taken back.Copy !req
303. It is a recent tradition,
only 18 years old...Copy !req
304. but it is a tradition
nonetheless!Copy !req
305. Get ready, Fry.Copy !req
306. I'm going to rip your swim bladder out
and show it to you.Copy !req
307. Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness!Copy !req
308. You're being irrational!Copy !req
309. Of course
I'm being irrational!Copy !req
310. I'm in love!Copy !req
311. Aww!Copy !req
312. Leela!Copy !req
313. Right, right.Copy !req
314. You have to stop this madness!Copy !req
315. Listen, lady,
as you can plainly see...Copy !req
316. I'm a highly desirable male,
groaning with jelly...Copy !req
317. yet I embrace a life of celibacy
in order to uphold our crazy traditions.Copy !req
318. One of your friends must die!Copy !req
319. Fate is cruel and unyielding,
and what must be, must be.Copy !req
320. Taking all bets!Copy !req
321. I'm giving nine to two,
on Zoidberg...Copy !req
322. the crab with the jab,
the Great Red Hope.Copy !req
323. Come on, baby!Copy !req
324. Fry, it's been years
since medical school...Copy !req
325. so remind me: Disemboweling
in your species...Copy !req
326. - Fatal or non-fatal?
- Fatal.Copy !req
327. Large bet on myself
in round one!Copy !req
328. Edna, have you anything to say
before begins the Claw Plock?Copy !req
329. I do.Copy !req
330. I just want to say
that today I got up...Copy !req
331. and I had a piece of toast.Copy !req
332. Then I brushed my teeth...Copy !req
333. Shut up!Copy !req
334. I love you, Fry!Copy !req
335. No!Copy !req
336. Fry, having guessed what animal
I was thinking of...Copy !req
337. you shall have
first choice of weapon.Copy !req
338. Uh-huh... Ah!Copy !req
339. And you, Doctor?Copy !req
340. I choose my own claws.Copy !req
341. I want the tactile pleasure of
chopping him right here, in the gonads.Copy !req
342. Shh!
Nobody correct him!Copy !req
343. Fry, I've never asked you
for anything before...Copy !req
344. but if it's not too much trouble,
when it comes to the ninth round...Copy !req
345. just let him win.Copy !req
346. But it's a fight to the death!Copy !req
347. Oh, so suddenly
this is all about you!Copy !req
348. Please rise
for the national anthem.Copy !req
349. Uh-oh.Copy !req
350. Let Claw Plock begin!Copy !req
351. Ow!Copy !req
352. Ow!Copy !req
353. Come on, Fry!Copy !req
354. Die with dignity!Copy !req
355. A-ha!Copy !req
356. Oops.Copy !req
357. No! I can't stand to look!Copy !req
358. - Crack him open!
- Kill him!Copy !req
359. Psst! Fry, take a dive!Copy !req
360. Claw Plock, Claw Plock, Claw Plock!Copy !req
361. My fellow fish monsters...Copy !req
362. far be it from me to question
your stupid civilization...Copy !req
363. or its dumb customs...Copy !req
364. but is squeezing
each other's brains out...Copy !req
365. with a giant nutcracker
really going to solve anything?Copy !req
366. Dr. Zoidberg is my friend...Copy !req
367. and though a woman has come between us,
I say we'll always remain friends.Copy !req
368. And do you know why?Copy !req
369. One reason.Copy !req
370. You bastard!
I'll kill you!Copy !req
371. You bastard!Copy !req
372. Wait, stop!Copy !req
373. Everyone is gone!Copy !req
374. Edna?Copy !req
375. Honey?Copy !req
376. - Edna!Copy !req
377. Ew!Copy !req
378. My God!Copy !req
379. The frenzy!Copy !req
380. Oh, the greatest experience
in life, and I missed it.Copy !req
381. Oh, I'm sorry, Doc.Copy !req
382. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
383. Ah.Copy !req
384. The frenzy is over.Copy !req
385. How will I ever get rid
of my male jelly now?Copy !req
386. I'll lend you this.Copy !req
387. Fry!Copy !req
388. Hey, hey!Copy !req
389. Shoo, get away!Copy !req
390. Hey! What's with
the flying jerks?Copy !req
391. They come to feast
after the frenzy.Copy !req
392. Once my species
passes on its genes, it dies.Copy !req
393. You mean you have to choose...Copy !req
394. between a life without sex
and a gruesome death?Copy !req
395. Yes.Copy !req
396. Tough call.Copy !req
397. Well, it was nice of you...Copy !req
398. to let me
reattach your arm, Fry.Copy !req
399. Especially after I made
a complete eel out of myself.Copy !req
400. No biggie.Copy !req
401. Yes, biggie.Copy !req
402. I learned to feel things
I've never felt before...Copy !req
403. Love, jealousy,
passion for disemboweling.Copy !req
404. I owe it all to you.Copy !req
405. There. I pronounce the operation
a success.Copy !req
406. - Hooray!
- Yeah!Copy !req
407. I may not know from emotions...Copy !req
408. but when it comes to medicine?Copy !req
409. Forget about it.Copy !req
410. I don't mean to nitpick,
Super-Doc...Copy !req
411. but do you think maybe...Copy !req
412. you could take one
more whack at this?Copy !req
413. For you, my friend?
Anything.Copy !req
414. My legs!Copy !req
415. All right, all right.Copy !req
416. Third time's the charm.Copy !req