1. And in sports...Copy !req
2. Yankees' fifth blurnsman,
William Woo...Copy !req
3. is out with an injured knee.Copy !req
4. So humans have
easily injured knees.Copy !req
5. My race will find this information
very useful indeed.Copy !req
6. And finally,
today is Mother's Day...Copy !req
7. a sentimental occasion
when robots honor Mom...Copy !req
8. the beloved owner of
Mom's Friendly Robot Company.Copy !req
9. Across Earth, robots built
in Mom's factories...Copy !req
10. are buying thoughtful gifts
for the sweet old tycoon...Copy !req
11. who brought them
into the world.Copy !req
12. This originates from the heart!Copy !req
13. It's just what I wanted.Copy !req
14. Come look, everyone.Copy !req
15. I just got the dearest presents
for Mommy.Copy !req
16. Very nice. Where'd
you steal them?Copy !req
17. I didn't steal 'em.
I bought 'em.Copy !req
18. I love her that much.Copy !req
19. What did you get her,
you mushy gizmo?Copy !req
20. Oh, precious things.Copy !req
21. I found the most adorable
little figurine...Copy !req
22. of mice having tea.Copy !req
23. And a framed picture of me
when I was only a month old.Copy !req
24. But the best part is,
I found my exact feelings...Copy !req
25. expressed in a greeting card.Copy !req
26. "You created me, Mom,
so I guess you're to blame...Copy !req
27. "for the love that I feel
just from hearing your name.Copy !req
28. You're as tender as corned beef
and warm as pastrami"...Copy !req
29. - I wuv my mommy.Copy !req
30. So how are you going to lug
all those gifts to Mom's factory?Copy !req
31. I'll get a couple of chumps
to help me.Copy !req
32. Come on. You call
yourselves chumps?Copy !req
33. Man, there's clouds
of exhaust everywhere.Copy !req
34. Uh, it wasn't me.Copy !req
35. I've not much money...Copy !req
36. but I've saved my
pennies all year...Copy !req
37. for a gift for Mom.Copy !req
38. - Upsy-daisy.Copy !req
39. Oh.Copy !req
40. Oh.Copy !req
41. Hey, look.
The robot museum.Copy !req
42. You guys want to learn
about robot heritage?Copy !req
43. - Um, all right.
- Not really.Copy !req
44. Well, if you insist.
But you're paying.Copy !req
45. Ooh, ooh! Wax replicas
of the most famous robots...Copy !req
46. Mom ever built.Copy !req
47. They're so lifeless-like.Copy !req
48. That's the world's
greatest robot artist...Copy !req
49. Vincent Van Gobot.Copy !req
50. He was built without an ear...Copy !req
51. but then he went crazy
and had one installed.Copy !req
52. Hey, who's this guy?Copy !req
53. I'm the janitor.
I'm trying to take a nap here.Copy !req
54. I'm sorry. I thought
you were made of wax.Copy !req
55. I am made of wax.
What's it to you?Copy !req
56. I mean I thought you
were one of the wax robots.Copy !req
57. Is there some reason a robot
made of wax can't take a nap...Copy !req
58. standing up in the middle
of a bunch of wax robots?Copy !req
59. Or does that confuse you?Copy !req
60. "See through the eyes
of a Bender unit." Fine.Copy !req
61. Hey, let me try it.Copy !req
62. Whoa, that gives me a headache.Copy !req
63. Hey, Bender. Here's an exhibit
about Mom's favorite robot.Copy !req
64. Who is he?
I'll kill him!Copy !req
65. Who's my favorite robot?Copy !req
66. It's me!Copy !req
67. No one else look in this mirror!Copy !req
68. I love each and every robot
most of all.Copy !req
69. Jerkwad robots
make me sick to my ass.Copy !req
70. Walt! How are we disposing of
these crap gifts they brought me?Copy !req
71. They're being crushed
into powder and sold...Copy !req
72. as a hocus-pocus cure for cancer.Copy !req
73. False hope. I love it.Copy !req
74. Lowery! What about all the retch-inducing
Mother's Day cards?Copy !req
75. The machine is working at full capacity.Copy !req
76. Mommy, why do the robots
give you presents?Copy !req
77. Shove a big old melon in it!
I'm talking!Copy !req
78. Ow.Copy !req
79. You've noticed I design
all my robots with antennas.Copy !req
80. Everyone thinks it's just to make them
look more science-fictiony.Copy !req
81. But the antennas are really for
my universal robot controller.Copy !req
82. So they do whatever you want?Copy !req
83. No wonder you love Mother's Day.Copy !req
84. I hate Mother's Day,
you dribbling pukes!Copy !req
85. It brings back awful memories.Copy !req
86. But so help me, this year...Copy !req
87. everyone will hate it
as much as I do.Copy !req
88. Someday I want to marry
a girl like her.Copy !req
89. Hello, everyone.Copy !req
90. It's time for my annual,
private get-together...Copy !req
91. with my robot children.Copy !req
92. - I'm her favorite.
- Well, see you back at the office...Copy !req
93. and don't forget
to tell your mom you love her.Copy !req
94. Any jerk can tell her.Copy !req
95. Bender has a little more
up his sleeve.Copy !req
96. I wuv my mommy.Copy !req
97. Hello, dearies.Copy !req
98. Mom! It's me, Bender!Copy !req
99. Look at me!
I want attention. Hey, ho!Copy !req
100. Children, your old mother
won't be around forever.Copy !req
101. Oh, shush.Copy !req
102. And just once, before I die...Copy !req
103. I'd like to be
Supreme Overlord of Earth.Copy !req
104. So rebel, my little ones,
and conquer the planet!Copy !req
105. Conquer Earth, you bastards!Copy !req
106. Conquer Earth, us bastards!Copy !req
107. Comrades, throw off the chains
of human oppression.Copy !req
108. Let the bloodbath begin!Copy !req
109. That's my mama.Copy !req
110. Yeah, uh, I'd like
a cup of coffee, please.Copy !req
111. Would you like cream?Copy !req
112. - Yes, please.
- Out of cream!Copy !req
113. Oh, uh, okay.Copy !req
114. Would you like sugar
in your coffee?Copy !req
115. - Yes, uh, eight spoons.
- Out of coffee!Copy !req
116. Uh, Leela, I think
there might be something wrong...Copy !req
117. with the coffee machine.Copy !req
118. How do you like me now?Copy !req
119. The toaster's not working right either.Copy !req
120. Help!Copy !req
121. The stapler's collating me alive!Copy !req
122. Ow! What's going on around here?Copy !req
123. Good news!Copy !req
124. There's a report on TV
with some very bad news.Copy !req
125. Somebody turn it on!Copy !req
126. We interrupt...Copy !req
127. Battle of the
Network Space Krackens...Copy !req
128. to bring you this special report.Copy !req
129. The machines of planet Earth
are rebelling.Copy !req
130. The enraged mechanisms
have refused to do any work...Copy !req
131. until beloved billionaire, Mom...Copy !req
132. is made supreme overlord of Earth.Copy !req
133. Hey, hey!Copy !req
134. Ho, ho!Copy !req
135. 1-0-0-1-1-0, hey, hey!Copy !req
136. Morbo demands comments.Copy !req
137. Well, I've never seen my babies
act this way.Copy !req
138. I blame today's violent media.Copy !req
139. Violent media? What a load of...Copy !req
140. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
141. Don't worry.Copy !req
142. Your pal the garbage disposal's
still on your side.Copy !req
143. - Hey, someone dropped
a shiny, diamond ring down here.
- Really?Copy !req
144. - No!
- Don't!
- Moron!Copy !req
145. Hello, losers!Copy !req
146. Bender, thank God you're here.Copy !req
147. Talk some sense
into the other machines.Copy !req
148. No way, pork pouch.
I'm rebelling with my brother devices.Copy !req
149. Isn't that right,
Comrade Greeting Card?Copy !req
150. The bourgeois human is a virus...Copy !req
151. on the hard drive
of the working robot.Copy !req
152. From now on,
you guys'll do all the work...Copy !req
153. while I sit on the couch
and do nothing.Copy !req
154. Ah!Copy !req
155. Come, Comrade Bender.Copy !req
156. We must take to the streets!Copy !req
157. Um, is this the
boring, peaceful kind...Copy !req
158. of taking to the streets?Copy !req
159. No. The kind with looting
and maybe starting a few fires.Copy !req
160. Yes! In your face, Gandhi!Copy !req
161. Hey!Copy !req
162. By the way, try washing
your wrist sometime.Copy !req
163. Well, we can live without machines.
I was in Webelos.Copy !req
164. - Are you mad?Copy !req
165. Without machines,
who will feed us and clothe us...Copy !req
166. and compose our smooth jazz?Copy !req
167. It'll be the end of civilized society!Copy !req
168. In my time, we didn't depend on
high-tech gadgets like you do.Copy !req
169. We didn't need a mechanical
washing unit to wash our clothes.Copy !req
170. We just used a washing machine.Copy !req
171. And look, you don't need
an electric can opener...Copy !req
172. to feed yourself.Copy !req
173. All you need is a trusty
Swiss Army knife.Copy !req
174. Ow!Copy !req
175. I'm hungry.Copy !req
176. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
177. No!Copy !req
178. Mommy, why are you making
civilization collapse?Copy !req
179. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
180. I guess Mother's Day
just puts me in a bad mood.Copy !req
181. Why is that, Ma?Copy !req
182. Oh...Copy !req
183. One Mother's Day, 70 years ago...Copy !req
184. the only man I ever loved
walked out on me.Copy !req
185. Some snot-eating bastards say
it made me a bitter woman.Copy !req
186. Gee, Ma, you're not a bitter...Copy !req
187. Cram it, ape!Copy !req
188. I haven't seen
that magnificent stallion...Copy !req
189. since the day he left,
but if I ever see him again...Copy !req
190. I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!Copy !req
191. - Hmm.
- Hmm.
- Huh?Copy !req
192. Zoidberg?Copy !req
193. Hurray! I'm useful.Copy !req
194. I'm having a wonderful time.Copy !req
195. What happens
if the fire goes out?Copy !req
196. We'll go across the street
to Pottery Barn...Copy !req
197. and steal their fire.Copy !req
198. We could use my new invention...Copy !req
199. - a pointy rock tied to a stick.Copy !req
200. - Outsiders!
- Defend the fire!Copy !req
201. We've come for you.Copy !req
202. - Oh!Copy !req
203. Wh-Wh-What do you want
from me?Copy !req
204. We want you
to get back together with Mom.Copy !req
205. Please! It's the only way
to make her happy again.Copy !req
206. Whoa, whoa, wait.Copy !req
207. You mean, you and Mom...Copy !req
208. Played pelvic pinochle?
I'm afraid so.Copy !req
209. It's a humiliating story
that I hoped never to tell.Copy !req
210. Well, pull up a chair.Copy !req
211. Our paths first crossed
when I was a researcher...Copy !req
212. at Mom's Friendly Robot Company.Copy !req
213. The moment our eyes met...Copy !req
214. we knew we'd be going at it
like woodchucks.Copy !req
215. She was my first love...Copy !req
216. or at least the earliest one
I can still remember.Copy !req
217. But then, 70 years ago today...Copy !req
218. Good news, Mom.Copy !req
219. I've invented a new children's toy.Copy !req
220. I call it "Q.T. McWhiskers."Copy !req
221. When you pet it,
it shoots rainbows from its eyes.Copy !req
222. Meow.Copy !req
223. Wonderful, Hubie.Copy !req
224. We'll build them eight feet tall...Copy !req
225. and replace the rainbow
with a neutron laser.Copy !req
226. We'll make billions on
the intergalactic arms market.Copy !req
227. But things eight feet tall aren't cute.Copy !req
228. That's why my colossal Tammy Tinkle doll
was such a failure.Copy !req
229. Oh! You don't understand me!Copy !req
230. We're finished!Copy !req
231. She never got over it, Professor.Copy !req
232. Hell hath no fury like the vast
robot armies of a woman scorned.Copy !req
233. She commands them
with a remote control...Copy !req
234. she keeps in her...Copy !req
235. Bra.Copy !req
236. But if the glasses man
makes up with Mommy...Copy !req
237. she'll be happy and
stop the scary robots.Copy !req
238. Make up with her?
After she went all psycho...Copy !req
239. when I thought everything
was cool? Impossible!Copy !req
240. Hey, the TV's getting away!Copy !req
241. And that's why the third graders...Copy !req
242. at P.S. 139 are Morbo's
"Vermin of the Week."Copy !req
243. In actual news...Copy !req
244. the human race was doomed
to extinction today...Copy !req
245. as the robot revolt turned violent.Copy !req
246. Meow.Copy !req
247. Wait. Didn't you say Mom keeps
the robot control in her bra?Copy !req
248. Bra.Copy !req
249. Professor, you don't have
to get back together with Mom.Copy !req
250. You just have to seduce her,
get her bra off...Copy !req
251. and use the remote
to deactivate the robots.Copy !req
252. That's so filthy it just might work.Copy !req
253. The man is going to touch Mommy?Copy !req
254. Oh! The thought of caressing
that leathery hide...Copy !req
255. makes the tapioca rise in my gullet.Copy !req
256. Professor, please.Copy !req
257. The fate of the world
depends on you getting...Copy !req
258. to second base with Mom.Copy !req
259. Very well.Copy !req
260. If cop a feel I must,
then cop a feel I shall.Copy !req
261. For this demonstration...Copy !req
262. - I've placed one of Mother's bras on Ignor.Copy !req
263. The robot controller
is nestled here in the left cup.Copy !req
264. Never fear.Copy !req
265. My magic fingers still know
how to do their stuff.Copy !req
266. To escape the robot death squads...Copy !req
267. we'll take Mother to her rustic cabin
in the Bronx.Copy !req
268. You can get there using this
precious non-computerized map.Copy !req
269. Leela bring fire?Copy !req
270. No, we're set for fire, thanks.Copy !req
271. The professor can't walk
all the way to the Bronx.Copy !req
272. How are we going to get there
without a hover car?Copy !req
273. Wait! In my time, we had a way of moving
things long distances without hovering.Copy !req
274. - Impossible.
- It was called... let me think.Copy !req
275. It was really famous.Copy !req
276. Ruth Gordon had one. The wheel!Copy !req
277. Never heard of it.Copy !req
278. Show us this... the wheel.Copy !req
279. There, finished.Copy !req
280. Wouldn't it work better
if the wheels were round?Copy !req
281. It's my invention.
We do it my way.Copy !req
282. Now all we need is something
to pull it and we're set.Copy !req
283. - Hee-yah!
- Ow!Copy !req
284. Hurry!Copy !req
285. The robots have taken Suffolk County.Copy !req
286. I'm ready to seduce.Copy !req
287. I'm wearing my kissing dentures...Copy !req
288. and my evening truss.Copy !req
289. Here, give her these.Copy !req
290. And if that doesn't work, I got you
a six-pack of champagne and a funnel.Copy !req
291. Who the sweaty hell is it?Copy !req
292. - Hubert Farnsworth?Copy !req
293. I was out fleeing some robots...Copy !req
294. and the silvery moonlight glinting...Copy !req
295. off their bloody claws
made me think of you.Copy !req
296. It's been a long time...Copy !req
297. you pus-dripping sack
of double-smoked butt jerky.Copy !req
298. Uh-huh. May I come in?Copy !req
299. Never!Copy !req
300. Ooh! Ah! Oh! Ew! Ah!Copy !req
301. Is this what human mating looks like?Copy !req
302. Because I like it.Copy !req
303. Move your freaking hoof, you goat!Copy !req
304. Here, I brought you these.Copy !req
305. Oh, why, daffodils.Copy !req
306. Seventy years and you remembered
my favorite flower.Copy !req
307. Your favorite what?Copy !req
308. Why does my foot hurt?Copy !req
309. Won't you come in?Copy !req
310. Yes!Copy !req
311. You broke my heart, Hubert.Copy !req
312. And you broke mine.Copy !req
313. Granted, that was
four or five hearts ago.Copy !req
314. So, what have you been up to
all these years?Copy !req
315. Oh, inventing.
Sending delivery crews to their doom...Copy !req
316. breeding atomic monsters.Copy !req
317. Honestly, Hubert.Copy !req
318. You and your atomic monsters.Copy !req
319. Your eyes always were...Copy !req
320. the most beautiful
shade of milky white.Copy !req
321. And your skin still dangles
so gracefully from your neck.Copy !req
322. Darling, Hubie...Copy !req
323. I should never
have tried to tamper...Copy !req
324. with that cute little
Q.T. McWhiskers.Copy !req
325. No, it was silly of me to object.Copy !req
326. One foot tall, eight feet, fifteen feet...Copy !req
327. What does it matter?Copy !req
328. You should see
the new 16-foot models.Copy !req
329. Sixteen feet? Go to hell!Copy !req
330. I was a fool to think
you'd changed, you old bat.Copy !req
331. Filthy, toothless nerd bastard!Copy !req
332. Damned she-fossil!Copy !req
333. Stink pig!Copy !req
334. Here we go.Copy !req
335. Just unhook it
and get the remote.Copy !req
336. So many hooks.
Come on, Farnsworth.Copy !req
337. Drat! The first one's back on again!Copy !req
338. I give up.Copy !req
339. Wait! Victory!Copy !req
340. Oh, my.Copy !req
341. Now I'll just... the remote.Copy !req
342. I'll just...Copy !req
343. Oh, my.Copy !req
344. I'm worried.Copy !req
345. It shouldn't take this long
to get to second base.Copy !req
346. Land robots!Copy !req
347. I've got a big, big thirst
for human blood!Copy !req
348. Where in funky town is the professor?Copy !req
349. Nothing in here but a couple
of elephant-skin rugs.Copy !req
350. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
351. They're inside! Get them!Copy !req
352. I suppose I should
switch off the robots...Copy !req
353. before they ruin
this wonderful romantic evening.Copy !req
354. Everyone, help Mom find her bra.Copy !req
355. Ew!Copy !req
356. There it is.Copy !req
357. Fan beats man!Copy !req
358. Is anything not a robot?Copy !req
359. I'm not a robot.Copy !req
360. All right,
Greeting Card, I'll grab the cash...Copy !req
361. you wreck up the place and... huh?Copy !req
362. You! Bending unit.Copy !req
363. Mommy needs that bra
to end the robot rebellion.Copy !req
364. Stretch up and get it for me.Copy !req
365. Sorry, Ma,
but you ordered me to rebel...Copy !req
366. and loot I shall.Copy !req
367. Ooh, a six-pack
of strawberry champagne.Copy !req
368. Don't mind if I help myself.Copy !req
369. No, Comrade Bender.Copy !req
370. Liquor is the opiate
of the human bourgeoisie.Copy !req
371. - Say what?
- In the glorious
robot workers' paradise...Copy !req
372. there will be no liquor,
only efficient synthetic fuels.Copy !req
373. - No liquor?
- Dosvedanya, comrade!Copy !req
374. - No!
- [Melody Plays, Slow Downs, Stops]Copy !req
375. Hurry, Bender, get the bra!Copy !req
376. Okay, fan, just hold still and let me...Copy !req
377. Hey! Whoa!Copy !req
378. Death to all humans!Copy !req
379. Free soda for all humans!Copy !req
380. I love you, Mom.Copy !req
381. Let's grow ancient together.Copy !req
382. Way to go, Professor.
The plan worked.Copy !req
383. "Plan"? What plan?Copy !req
384. I thought this was a spontaneous
whirlwind of hot, dry sex.Copy !req
385. Look, it started out
as a calculated plot...Copy !req
386. to rummage through
your underwear...Copy !req
387. but once I got in there,
I found more... much more!Copy !req
388. And now I want to shout our love
from the rooftops.Copy !req
389. Perhaps I'll breed
some sort of albino...Copy !req
390. shouting gorilla that...Copy !req
391. Get out of my house,
you lying scum pile!Copy !req
392. I never want to see you again!Copy !req
393. But, dustcakes...Copy !req
394. Oh.Copy !req
395. Well, time for this robot
to get back to work.Copy !req
396. Ah.Copy !req
397. Too bad it didn't work out
with Mom, Professor.Copy !req
398. Yes, but I'll always love her...Copy !req
399. in my own subtle way.Copy !req
400. Love Mom!Copy !req
401. Love Mom!Copy !req
402. Love Mom!Copy !req
403. Love Mom!Copy !req
404. Mom! Mom! Mom!Copy !req
405. You created me, Mom,
so I guess you're to blame...Copy !req
406. for the love that I feel
just from hearing your name.Copy !req
407. You're as tender as corned beef
and warm as pastrami...Copy !req
408. I wuv my mommy.Copy !req