1. Wow, I'm finally
going to see my favorite chef...Copy !req
2. TV's Elzar!Copy !req
3. Ah, this is the greatest
nanosecond of my life.Copy !req
4. No, this one is.Copy !req
5. No, this one. Wait...Copy !req
6. that one was slightly worse.Copy !req
7. Ah, so far so good on this one.Copy !req
8. And now, here he is...Copy !req
9. chef, restaurateur, author
of Cooking Slugs For Dinner...Copy !req
10. and Cooking Dinner For Slugs...Copy !req
11. Elzar!Copy !req
12. Yay!Copy !req
13. All right! Yeah!Copy !req
14. Yeah, baby! Whoo!Copy !req
15. Elzar!Copy !req
16. Elzar, you're my god.Copy !req
17. Please sign this sketch
I drew of you.Copy !req
18. Oh, Elzar, bless you.Copy !req
19. Mmm... Mmm...Copy !req
20. Uh... Uh...Copy !req
21. Now, this is why I prefer
your nonstick robots.Copy !req
22. Oh.Copy !req
23. All right!
Yeah! Whoo!Copy !req
24. All right, yeah...Copy !req
25. whoo, whoo.Copy !req
26. Hey, I hope you folks
like Cajun food...Copy !req
27. - Hoo-wee!
- 'Cause today we're making...Copy !req
28. Elzar's down-home
Neptune-style gumbo.Copy !req
29. Now, step one:
You want to boil some oysters...Copy !req
30. in a pot of down-home,
Neptune-style gumbo.Copy !req
31. Boiled? Interesting!Copy !req
32. Bender, please try
to be a little quieter.Copy !req
33. No, you shut up.Copy !req
34. Of course, every now and then,
you want to knock it up a notch...Copy !req
35. with a blast
from your spice weasel. Bam!Copy !req
36. Oh, yeah! Bam it again, Elzar!Copy !req
37. Knock it up another notch.Copy !req
38. Geez, who let this guy
through the metal detector?Copy !req
39. Come on, you wimp,
work that weasel!Copy !req
40. Quit holding out on us!Copy !req
41. If you promise...Copy !req
42. to stop interrupting,
all right.Copy !req
43. Against my will, I'm going
to knock it up another notch.Copy !req
44. Ooh, I got to get this
notch up knocking on film.Copy !req
45. Hey, Elzar, think fast!Copy !req
46. Wha... Huh?Copy !req
47. Oh! My eye!Copy !req
48. I'm blind!Copy !req
49. Bam!Copy !req
50. Tell me, Doctor,
how's my cyst?Copy !req
51. Grande.Copy !req
52. I don't like the looks
of this doctor.Copy !req
53. I bet I've lost more patients
than he's even treated.Copy !req
54. Okay, what does this
look like to you?Copy !req
55. Um... a grayish blob?Copy !req
56. Right. And this one?Copy !req
57. Um...Copy !req
58. a grayish blob?Copy !req
59. Not as right that time.Copy !req
60. It looks like you might have
some mild corneal irritation.Copy !req
61. Nice try, little boy.Copy !req
62. You may have
your textbook knowledge...Copy !req
63. and your real diploma...Copy !req
64. but I have more skill
in my little claw...Copy !req
65. than you have
in your whole carapace.Copy !req
66. You seem a bit tense.Copy !req
67. Here, try these.Copy !req
68. Sure, butter me up with candy.Copy !req
69. Well, it won't work, sonny.Copy !req
70. Why always the fighting?Copy !req
71. Your eye just needs
some rest.Copy !req
72. You'll have to wear this patch
for about a week.Copy !req
73. Oh, a week?Copy !req
74. What do you think,
Dr. Zoidberg?Copy !req
75. Clack.Copy !req
76. Thanks for the help, Leela.Copy !req
77. Leela, we're right here!Copy !req
78. I'm not deaf. I just have
to wear this stupid eye patch.Copy !req
79. Does it look stupid?Copy !req
80. No.Copy !req
81. In fact, it-it looks so nice...Copy !req
82. l-I think I might get one, too.Copy !req
83. It's Elzar again!Copy !req
84. Oh, my God, I'm so excited,
I wish I could wet my pants!Copy !req
85. Leela, please,
let me make this up to you.Copy !req
86. You and your friends
are all invited...Copy !req
87. to my restaurant tonight.Copy !req
88. I'm going to bam you up
a dinner you'll never forget.Copy !req
89. All right!Copy !req
90. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
91. Great!Copy !req
92. Hooray for Blindy!Copy !req
93. Oh, God... I'm coming down!Copy !req
94. Folks, tell the neighbors
to watch your mouth...Copy !req
95. 'cause your taste buds
are going on vacation.Copy !req
96. I made you each
your own special meal...Copy !req
97. so dig in!Copy !req
98. It's the biggestJamaican
platter I've ever seen!Copy !req
99. Jerk chicken, jerk beef,
jerk pork.Copy !req
100. Is there any meat
this man can't jerk?Copy !req
101. The king crab is to die for.Copy !req
102. Look... a tiny edible crown.Copy !req
103. What's it made of?Copy !req
104. Wood.Copy !req
105. Mmm.Copy !req
106. Fry, you got to try
the Sterno Nicoise.Copy !req
107. No, thanks.
That's robot food.Copy !req
108. It's so good.Copy !req
109. Oh, just try a little.Copy !req
110. No, really, I don't...Copy !req
111. Mmm.Copy !req
112. You doing all right
over there, Leela?Copy !req
113. Oh, yeah.
This salad's fantastic.Copy !req
114. So fresh.Copy !req
115. Oh, my. That steamed carrot
was a bit spicy for me.Copy !req
116. Everybody enjoy their dinner?Copy !req
117. God, yes, Elzar!Copy !req
118. Well, I sure enjoyed
cooking for you...Copy !req
119. and to make everything
completely square...Copy !req
120. I want you to have...Copy !req
121. these complimentary
after-dinner chocolates.Copy !req
122. What's this
under the chocolates?Copy !req
123. Yeah, you take care of that
whenever you want.Copy !req
124. - Hey!
- What?Copy !req
125. A bill?Copy !req
126. You're charging us
after you blinded me?Copy !req
127. Hey, I made you a nice meal.Copy !req
128. This ain't a charity.Copy !req
129. $1,200?Copy !req
130. Holy zombieJesus!Copy !req
131. We don't have
that kind of money...Copy !req
132. especially not Zoidberg.Copy !req
133. They took away my credit cards.Copy !req
134. Okay, okay, wait.Copy !req
135. I know how to take care of this,
no problem.Copy !req
136. You deadbeats
are under arrest.Copy !req
137. It's a stone-cold shame.Copy !req
138. He's making a break
for it! Get him!Copy !req
139. No, no, l-I was just
picking my nose.Copy !req
140. He's picking his nose!
Get him!Copy !req
141. The old dine-and-dash, eh?Copy !req
142. My daddy owned a restaurant,
and it's punks like you...Copy !req
143. that kept him
from going regional.Copy !req
144. That's why I became a cop.Copy !req
145. Now it's payback time.
Aw, yeah.Copy !req
146. Please don't hit me...
I'm brittle!Copy !req
147. Hey, wait a second.Copy !req
148. I've got the
perfect solution.Copy !req
149. Listen to the smart robot.Copy !req
150. I love cooking, and Elzar's ass
loves getting kissed, right?Copy !req
151. No question.Copy !req
152. So, how about I work part-time...Copy !req
153. at the restaurant
to pay off our debt?Copy !req
154. I don't know.Copy !req
155. I usually hire people who are
a little less unbearable.Copy !req
156. Oh, Bender's a model employee.Copy !req
157. He's so polite.Copy !req
158. And hard-working.Copy !req
159. He's made of candy.Copy !req
160. Okay, fine, I'll
give it a shot.Copy !req
161. Hot diggity!Copy !req
162. You better keep
your nose clean.Copy !req
163. That'll be easy.
I never wear the damn thing.Copy !req
164. Ah, time for my precious
10:00 a.m. Meeting.Copy !req
165. Where in Legoland
is Leela?Copy !req
166. I'm here, and I'm getting along
just fine, thank you.Copy !req
167. My walk to work just took
a little longer today than usual.Copy !req
168. Nibbler took me through the zoo
for some reason.Copy !req
169. Leela, a little help is nothing
to be embarrassed about.Copy !req
170. Like, maybe I could
do your makeup.Copy !req
171. I don't need help.Copy !req
172. For your information,
I did this all by myself.Copy !req
173. You look beautiful!Copy !req
174. Incidentally, my favorite
artist is Picasso.Copy !req
175. Well, I'm off to work
at the restaurant.Copy !req
176. One of you will have to fill in
for me while I'm gone.Copy !req
177. Better yet, I'll build someone
to fill in for you.Copy !req
178. Some kind of gamma-powered
mechanical monster...Copy !req
179. with freeway on-ramps for arms...Copy !req
180. and a heart
as black as coal.Copy !req
181. Well, if that new guy can't
handle things, give me a call.Copy !req
182. I'm done siphoning out
the grease trap.Copy !req
183. I think I need a mint.Copy !req
184. So, uh,
what job do I move up to?Copy !req
185. Pastry chef? Saucier? Soup guy?Copy !req
186. Bam!Copy !req
187. Yeah... bam yourself.Copy !req
188. Hey, who are they?Copy !req
189. Let's just say
they're very good customers...Copy !req
190. and I'm not answering
any more questions.Copy !req
191. - Are they the Robot Mafia?
- Yes.Copy !req
192. You call this a table?Copy !req
193. You call this a table?Copy !req
194. I wouldn't hit a guy
over the head with this table.Copy !req
195. You hear that?Copy !req
196. The Don-bot don't like it.Copy !req
197. I ought to clamp you!Copy !req
198. You want to be clamped?Copy !req
199. Whoa, whoa,
calm down, Clamps.Copy !req
200. The boss, he likes a wall...Copy !req
201. against which his back
can be put against...Copy !req
202. such as like this there.Copy !req
203. But that table's already...Copy !req
204. Ah, let me bus that
for you gentlemen.Copy !req
205. No. What I meant to do was...Copy !req
206. I can't believe this.Copy !req
207. Mind your own business
and get out!Copy !req
208. Hmm, I like this guy's
lack of style.Copy !req
209. So's I finally give this guy...Copy !req
210. a pair of cement shoes,
which he likes...Copy !req
211. 'cause they're lighter
than his lead ones.Copy !req
212. Hey, you think
this computes over here?Copy !req
213. Where's all my change?
I gave you a 100.Copy !req
214. No, you gave me a 50.Copy !req
215. - Oh, no, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.Copy !req
216. Hey, you trying to steal
from the Don-bot?Copy !req
217. I'm trying,
but he's not making it easy.Copy !req
218. Get a load of the ball bearings
on this guy, huh?Copy !req
219. I like you, kid.Copy !req
220. Here's something
for your trouble.Copy !req
221. It's money.Copy !req
222. Wow, thanks.Copy !req
223. Hey, you earned that 50 bucks.Copy !req
224. You gave me a 20.Copy !req
225. I did? Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
226. I meant... Hey, wait a minute.Copy !req
227. I got a good feeling about you.Copy !req
228. Say, you want to work for me
as a hired goon?Copy !req
229. Are you kidding?Copy !req
230. I've always wanted
to break into gooning.Copy !req
231. Hey, Elzar, I quit!Copy !req
232. 'Kay!Copy !req
233. We're going to try you out
with a little delivery job.Copy !req
234. It's for a, uh,
private lottery that we run.Copy !req
235. Wow! You guys run numbers?Copy !req
236. Well, nothing fancy...
you know, ones and zeros mostly.Copy !req
237. Just take this disk
over to the pool hall...Copy !req
238. and give it to Sammy
"The Mechanical Bull" Gravano...Copy !req
239. and watch out for the cops.Copy !req
240. That's just what my mom
used to tell me.Copy !req
241. Whoo!Copy !req
242. That's some fine oil-ade, son.Copy !req
243. We could use a man like you
in the Robot Mafia...Copy !req
244. which I'm sort of in.Copy !req
245. You flatter me, kind goon...Copy !req
246. but I'm only programmed
to sell oil-ade...Copy !req
247. and write
in cute backwards letters...Copy !req
248. like on the sign here.Copy !req
249. Aw, crap.Copy !req
250. The cops.Copy !req
251. Seen any suspicious activity?Copy !req
252. Nope, but check out
today's "Marmaduke."Copy !req
253. Solid.Copy !req
254. Hey, it's
that skel from Elzar's.Copy !req
255. Undercover pursuit
in progress...Copy !req
256. baby.Copy !req
257. Gotcha!Copy !req
258. What seems to be
the problem, officers?Copy !req
259. Was I speeding?Copy !req
260. We'll decide what
you were doing...Copy !req
261. after an illegal search.Copy !req
262. He's clean.Copy !req
263. Smells nice, too.Copy !req
264. - Better than me?
- Aw, yeah.Copy !req
265. Courtesy of Mr. Bender.Copy !req
266. Nice job, Bender.Copy !req
267. You passed the test.Copy !req
268. You want to join me,
Clamps and Joey Mousepad...Copy !req
269. at our, uh, social club
tomorrow night?Copy !req
270. Uh, I'd rather plan
some felonies.Copy !req
271. Oh. Then we should meet
at our Mafia crime headquarters.Copy !req
272. Don-bot, I beg you.Copy !req
273. I can't make
this week's loan payment.Copy !req
274. Look into your hard drive
and open your "mercy" file.Copy !req
275. File not found.Copy !req
276. Let that be a warning to you.Copy !req
277. Thank you, Don-bot.Copy !req
278. Joey...Copy !req
279. Clamps, Donnie B.Copy !req
280. Hey, listen, Bender,
we got a big score planned...Copy !req
281. but, uh, we need some muscle.Copy !req
282. A little of this, huh?Copy !req
283. Ho-ho-ho!
This guy's an ox.Copy !req
284. He's got oxen-like strength.Copy !req
285. Hey, he needs
a nickname, right?Copy !req
286. Let's call him "Clamps."Copy !req
287. Clamps?Copy !req
288. That's my name, you numskull!Copy !req
289. Don't make me clamp you one!Copy !req
290. How about Blotto?Copy !req
291. It's gritty.
It's got street cred.Copy !req
292. Plus, I can keep my
monogrammed slippers.Copy !req
293. Good thinking. Hey!Copy !req
294. Now, this score ain't gonna be...Copy !req
295. no cakewalk
in the tea park, all right?Copy !req
296. There may be some death-killing.Copy !req
297. It's going to be
clamp this, clamp that...Copy !req
298. ba-da-climp, ba-da-clamp.Copy !req
299. What do you think, Blotto?
You in?Copy !req
300. It's funny.Copy !req
301. Until now, I always wanted
to be a gangster.Copy !req
302. So the answer's yes.Copy !req
303. Hey, hey, way to go, way to be,
way to shoot.Copy !req
304. Now, since we'll
be committing crimes...Copy !req
305. which may be against the law,
I suggest you have an alibi.Copy !req
306. An alibi, huh?Copy !req
307. I don't feel good.Copy !req
308. I'm genuinely sick.Copy !req
309. But we're about to take off.Copy !req
310. We got to eat
our blast-off sundaes.Copy !req
311. I can't move.Copy !req
312. Oh, I think
I'm going to output.Copy !req
313. Okay, you stay in bed.Copy !req
314. I'll eat yours.Copy !req
315. Bender's sick.Copy !req
316. Hmm, need any help
taking off?Copy !req
317. I'm fine, thank you.Copy !req
318. A real pilot can
navigate by feel alone.Copy !req
319. That's coming
out of your pay.Copy !req
320. You know the secret
of traditional robot cooking?Copy !req
321. Start with a good
high-quality oil.Copy !req
322. Then eat it.Copy !req
323. So, uh, what's
this big score anyway?Copy !req
324. We're heisting a shipment
of Zuban cigars.Copy !req
325. Zubans? Those are the finest
cigars in the universe.Copy !req
326. I can stink up
a whole maternity ward...Copy !req
327. with one of those things.Copy !req
328. Yo, there's our pigeon now.Copy !req
329. Let's shoot bullets
out of our guns.Copy !req
330. All right,
here's the battle plan.Copy !req
331. We shoot, they surrender,
we go aboard...Copy !req
332. somebody does some clamping...Copy !req
333. then we heist the cigars
and go home.Copy !req
334. And all without killing anyone.Copy !req
335. This gang's got
some fresh, new ideas.Copy !req
336. I admire that.Copy !req
337. Oh, we'll kill them, all right.Copy !req
338. We got them
heavily out-clamped.Copy !req
339. They won't know
what clamped them!Copy !req
340. Wow, it's too bad
you can't see, Leela...Copy !req
341. 'cause there's a cool ship out there
shooting at somebody.Copy !req
342. - Whoa!
- Whoa!Copy !req
343. - I'm taking evasive action.Copy !req
344. Uh, Leela?Copy !req
345. Stop bothering me, Fry.Copy !req
346. I need full concentration.Copy !req
347. Eyesight is for chumps.Copy !req
348. Their desire to keep living
shows me no respect.Copy !req
349. Hey, Blotto, roll down
the window and start shooting.Copy !req
350. Um... Oh, uh...Copy !req
351. Ooh, he got me!Copy !req
352. Oh! What a shot that guy is.Copy !req
353. Wait, why do the raised letters...Copy !req
354. that normally say " Turn Master
Steering Wheel Company"...Copy !req
355. say "Nibbler"?Copy !req
356. Oh, no!Copy !req
357. I'm back at the wheel, Fry.Copy !req
358. Everything's under control.Copy !req
359. Great, great.Copy !req
360. The one time I forgot
to buy flight insurance.Copy !req
361. Aah! They're coming
straight toward our proximity!Copy !req
362. Maybe you should give
them the clamps, Clamps.Copy !req
363. Gee, you think?Copy !req
364. You think that maybe
I should use these clamps...Copy !req
365. that I use every day
at every opportunity?Copy !req
366. You're a freakin' genius,
you idiot!Copy !req
367. The engine's stalled.Copy !req
368. I'm trying
the manual fuel pump.Copy !req
369. Hello, we're the Robot Mafia...Copy !req
370. the entire Robot Mafia.Copy !req
371. We're here
to steal your cigars.Copy !req
372. You'll never get away with this.Copy !req
373. Unless you let us live.Copy !req
374. Then you'll get off scot-free.Copy !req
375. Joey, Clamps...Copy !req
376. hurry up and blindfold them
before they see us some more.Copy !req
377. Hey, boss...Copy !req
378. looks like somebody
beat us to it.Copy !req
379. I'll assume that's a joke
at my expense.Copy !req
380. Well, who's laughing now?Copy !req
381. - Hee-ya!
- Ooh!Copy !req
382. Hey, where's Blotto?Copy !req
383. He should be here
learning the trade.Copy !req
384. Sorry I'm tardy, old bean.Copy !req
385. I was just enjoying a rather
tasty watercress sandwich.Copy !req
386. Hey, he's more classy
than I realized.Copy !req
387. Tie up the prisoners.Copy !req
388. Capital idea, old sport.Copy !req
389. I say, get the hell off me.Copy !req
390. That guy sounds familiar.Copy !req
391. Oof!Copy !req
392. My word, what have we...Copy !req
393. Nothing to see here, old girl.Copy !req
394. Hey, boss, this here crew list...Copy !req
395. lists a robot on this crew here.Copy !req
396. All right, I want you
to find him and plug him...Copy !req
397. then unplug him.Copy !req
398. - No!Copy !req
399. I got a little surprise...Copy !req
400. in store for that guy...
the clamps!Copy !req
401. Huh?Copy !req
402. Uh, wait...Copy !req
403. old spice.Copy !req
404. Uh, let me have a go
at this mechanized chap.Copy !req
405. I can be
quite the rough customer.Copy !req
406. Oh, no. Poor Bender.Copy !req
407. I don't feel good.Copy !req
408. Chew on this!Copy !req
409. What-ho!Copy !req
410. Take that, you twit!Copy !req
411. No, stop it!Copy !req
412. That's the last of them.Copy !req
413. All right, now,
let's Mafia things up a bit.Copy !req
414. Joey, burn down the ship.Copy !req
415. Clamps, burn down the crew.Copy !req
416. [Gangster-like]
Uh, Donnie, baby...Copy !req
417. give me
a chance here, huh?Copy !req
418. Youse guys skedaddle.Copy !req
419. Let me take care
of the doity woik.Copy !req
420. Hey, I like your attitude...Copy !req
421. and your latest accent.Copy !req
422. Keep it up and I
might just get you...Copy !req
423. your own pair
of clamps, huh?Copy !req
424. The clamps...Copy !req
425. Clamps, clamps, clamps.Copy !req
426. Phew.Copy !req
427. Leela, we may not have
much time left...Copy !req
428. so let's spend all of it
reminiscing about Bender.Copy !req
429. He was like a big computer
that ran on magic.Copy !req
430. Help! Help!Copy !req
431. Bender.Copy !req
432. You're okay.Copy !req
433. Yes, I am...Copy !req
434. having just this minute
regained consciousness.Copy !req
435. I've got an idea.
Hold still.Copy !req
436. It's about to break.Copy !req
437. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
438. All right!Copy !req
439. - Yay!
- Yeah, it broke, all right.Copy !req
440. I'm telling you...Copy !req
441. Leela was cool,
she was in command...Copy !req
442. and when she kicked
people, it hurt.Copy !req
443. It really hurt.Copy !req
444. Well, this is the big moment.Copy !req
445. It's finally time
to take my eye patch off.Copy !req
446. I'll handle the snipping.Copy !req
447. After all, I do have
the proper equipment.Copy !req
448. I think it's Blotto...Copy !req
449. that gangster I saw
when my patch fell off.Copy !req
450. Professor?Copy !req
451. Where were you
at 10:00 p.m. Last night?Copy !req
452. Where am I now?Copy !req
453. So they sent a helpless
child to kill me.Copy !req
454. Well, I'm not going out
without a fight. Hee-ya!Copy !req
455. Fine kick, sir,
but I'm actually here...Copy !req
456. to deliver your cut
from the cigar heist.Copy !req
457. Oh, sweet legal tender.Copy !req
458. Kid, tell the Don-bot
I'm quitting organized crime.Copy !req
459. From now on, I'll stick
to the regular kind.Copy !req
460. Uh, it's funny, Bender.Copy !req
461. With you sick
and Leela blind...Copy !req
462. only I know what
really went on up there.Copy !req
463. Maybe someday
I'll tell you the whole story.Copy !req
464. And maybe someday,
I won't listen.Copy !req