1. Finally, the last form of the day.Copy !req
2. Welcome to Stampytown,
population five.Copy !req
3. And now for the finishing touch.Copy !req
4. Ah, the cycle of bureaucracy.Copy !req
5. Sweet gorilla of Manila!Copy !req
6. A letter
from The Central Bureaucracy.Copy !req
7. "Attention, Hermes Conrad.Copy !req
8. "You are about to receive a letter...Copy !req
9. from The Central Bureaucracy."Copy !req
10. My God!Copy !req
11. It's from The Central Bureaucracy!Copy !req
12. I'm having a poker game tonight...Copy !req
13. with some friends from
my old cryogenics job.Copy !req
14. You guys interested?Copy !req
15. I don't know.Copy !req
16. I only gamble with chumps.Copy !req
17. I'll play.Copy !req
18. I'm in!Copy !req
19. Leela, Fry, robot...Copy !req
20. no matter what it is
you're doing tonight...Copy !req
21. I'm available.Copy !req
22. We're playing poker.Copy !req
23. But I'm warning you...Copy !req
24. my friends are serious players.Copy !req
25. Bah, big shots.Copy !req
26. I say let the dice do the talking.Copy !req
27. Wow, you look happy.Copy !req
28. Is someone fired?
Better.Copy !req
29. The Central Bureaucracy...Copy !req
30. is conducting an inspection
tomorrow.Copy !req
31. I will finally
be promoted to grade 35...Copy !req
32. the 35th highest grade there is.Copy !req
33. Hermes, wait.Copy !req
34. We're having a poker party.Copy !req
35. Stay and whip off...Copy !req
36. a batch of your famous jerk dip.Copy !req
37. Sorry. I spent all day...Copy !req
38. putting my office in order.Copy !req
39. Now I got to go home...Copy !req
40. to relax the traditional
Jamaican way.Copy !req
41. A glass of warm milk
and a good night's sleep.Copy !req
42. Jamaican? I thought you were...Copy !req
43. some kind of outer space
potato man.Copy !req
44. Ah, that must be my old boss.Copy !req
45. Hello, Leela. You're fired.Copy !req
46. I know.Copy !req
47. I'm sorry, but it's
just that you're...Copy !req
48. over a year late
for work at this point.Copy !req
49. Let the games begin!Copy !req
50. So I told Leela...Copy !req
51. "Your request for a date
is most flattering...Copy !req
52. "but I must decline.Copy !req
53. "These office romances
never work out.Copy !req
54. After all, that is how
I met my horrible wife."Copy !req
55. That's a good one.Copy !req
56. But you never wore your ring.Copy !req
57. I didn't know you had a wife.Copy !req
58. And my wife doesn't know
I have a job.Copy !req
59. I keep my personal
and professional life separate.Copy !req
60. Come on, let's deal.Copy !req
61. You'll have plenty of time
to talk when you're poor.Copy !req
62. What's with the specs, Bender?Copy !req
63. They're my lucky shades.Copy !req
64. I stole them off some lucky guy...Copy !req
65. while his lucky Seeing Eye dog
was taking a whiz.Copy !req
66. Eh?Copy !req
67. Hey!Copy !req
68. I can't spell anything
with these cards.Copy !req
69. Finally, I have a good claw. See?Copy !req
70. Three human females, a number...Copy !req
71. and a king giving
himself brain surgery.Copy !req
72. It doesn't matter...Copy !req
73. how many human females
you have.Copy !req
74. Bender's on a hot streak.Copy !req
75. What can I say?Copy !req
76. Must be my lucky shades.Copy !req
77. Nothing. Nothing.Copy !req
78. Crap. Crap. Garbage.Copy !req
79. Read 'em and leak saltwater.Copy !req
80. My baby's milk money!Copy !req
81. Oh, I am broke.Copy !req
82. What will I tell my horrible wife?Copy !req
83. If I were you...Copy !req
84. I'd be more worried
about that tapeworm...Copy !req
85. going to town
on your intestines.Copy !req
86. Let me see those glasses.Copy !req
87. Uh... uh...Copy !req
88. Oh, my various gods,
X-ray specs!Copy !req
89. Guys, uh, I swear
those are prescription.Copy !req
90. I need them for reading stuff...Copy !req
91. on the other side of stuff.Copy !req
92. You cheater.Copy !req
93. Break his neck!Copy !req
94. No, don't hurt him.Copy !req
95. He's my best friend.Copy !req
96. Hey, you wouldn't hit
a guy with X-ray glasses, would you?Copy !req
97. Easy on the arm!Copy !req
98. Oh, my ass!Copy !req
99. Oh! Ow!Copy !req
100. Great cow of Moscow!Copy !req
101. Uh, it was ghosts.Copy !req
102. Big ones.Copy !req
103. And a tornado.Copy !req
104. Oh! I'll never pass
inspection now.Copy !req
105. They'll bust me lower
than a limbo stick...Copy !req
106. at carnival time.Copy !req
107. And that's as low
as limbo sticks get.Copy !req
108. Aw, hey, come on, don't worry.Copy !req
109. We'll watch you clean up.Copy !req
110. It's too late.Copy !req
111. The inspector will be here
in exactly one second.Copy !req
112. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
113. Morgan Proctor,
Bureaucrat, Grade 19.Copy !req
114. Hermes Conrad,
Bureaucrat, Grade 36.Copy !req
115. Enough friendly banter.Copy !req
116. Shall we begin the inspection?Copy !req
117. This way, please.Copy !req
118. Geez, Hermes, you seem
awfully calm about this.Copy !req
119. Don't worry.Copy !req
120. I have a plan.Copy !req
121. I'm going to jump!Copy !req
122. - No!
- No!Copy !req
123. Do a flip!Copy !req
124. Don't do it, Hermes!Copy !req
125. You have so much to live for!Copy !req
126. I get it.
Reverse psychology.Copy !req
127. Please, old friend, don't jump.Copy !req
128. Use another method
that won't damage your liver.Copy !req
129. Other people need it, you know.Copy !req
130. Husband, no!Copy !req
131. Out of my way, wife!Copy !req
132. I wasn't cut out to be
a bureaucrat anyway.Copy !req
133. I'm only anal
78.36% of the time.Copy !req
134. I'm not worthy to stamp a form...Copy !req
135. so I'll stamp the pavement
with my flabby body.Copy !req
136. Bureaucrat Conrad...Copy !req
137. if you complete your death
transaction without filing...Copy !req
138. a suicide and/or
falling accident permit...Copy !req
139. you will be
posthumously demoted.Copy !req
140. Life, death...Copy !req
141. Either way I'm demoted
to a tiny cubicle.Copy !req
142. Sweet something of...
of someplace.Copy !req
143. As your superior,
I hereby relieve you of duty.Copy !req
144. Consider yourself
on paid vacation.Copy !req
145. Oh! The ultimate penalty.Copy !req
146. I recommend the health cure...Copy !req
147. on Spa Five,
the sauna planet.Copy !req
148. Here, read.Copy !req
149. Spa Five? Is it good?Copy !req
150. Oh, it's wonderful.Copy !req
151. I don't know anything about it...Copy !req
152. but they give me a bucket of krill...Copy !req
153. for every patient I send.Copy !req
154. Naturally, I'll have
to assign a bureaucrat...Copy !req
155. to fill in for Hermes
while he's away.Copy !req
156. I assign me. I accept.Copy !req
157. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
158. Then it's settled.
Hermes will relax...Copy !req
159. and Zoidberg will eat.
Hurrah!Copy !req
160. I've been reviewing
your corporate records.Copy !req
161. Regarding last
Monday's delivery...Copy !req
162. why did it take twice
as long as scheduled?Copy !req
163. Fry got his head
stuck in a crater.Copy !req
164. I thought it would fit.Copy !req
165. And during this period
of head-crater interaction...Copy !req
166. what were you doing?Copy !req
167. Martini drinking contest
with the autopilot.Copy !req
168. I would have had him this time,
but we ran out of olives.Copy !req
169. I can explain.Copy !req
170. You really think...Copy !req
171. you can explain
how you left port...Copy !req
172. without a full
complement of olives?Copy !req
173. I think not.Copy !req
174. What is this, high school?Copy !req
175. Locker check.Copy !req
176. Why isn't this jacket
in alphabetical order?Copy !req
177. What?Copy !req
178. The zipper.Copy !req
179. It should be at the bottom.Copy !req
180. Hey, sometimes a guy gets lonely.Copy !req
181. I, I've never seen...Copy !req
182. anything like this.Copy !req
183. Why is there yogurt in this cap?Copy !req
184. I can explain that.Copy !req
185. See, it used to be milk...Copy !req
186. and, well, time makes fools of us all.Copy !req
187. You are all dismissed.Copy !req
188. Fry, I will speak to you alone.Copy !req
189. Uh, wait.
This is the other Fry's locker.Copy !req
190. I'm Fry with a P-H.Copy !req
191. Admit it, Fry, you're a slob.Copy !req
192. A dirty, filthy slob.Copy !req
193. Dirty boy!
Dirty, dirty, dirty!Copy !req
194. What the hell's going on?Copy !req
195. I thought you were
anti-dirty, not pro-dirty.Copy !req
196. I'm surrounded by
neat freaks every day.Copy !req
197. There's nothing kinkier to me
than a filthy slop jock like you.Copy !req
198. Oh, stop.Copy !req
199. Now listen, you filthy pig...Copy !req
200. no one can know about us.Copy !req
201. If anyone asks, I'll deny it.Copy !req
202. Just like every other girl
I've dated.Copy !req
203. And two, and three...Copy !req
204. and four, and, come on,
work those arms.Copy !req
205. This is no spa.
It's a forced labor camp.Copy !req
206. Curse that Dr. Zoidberg.Copy !req
207. If I get out of here...Copy !req
208. he'll be looking down the
business end of a shrimp fork.Copy !req
209. Give him one
for me, too, mate.Copy !req
210. I don't know why I go to him.Copy !req
211. I don't miss twice, campers.Copy !req
212. And for those 6½ reasons...Copy !req
213. I am demoting Leela to copilot.Copy !req
214. "Copilot"? Under who?Copy !req
215. The autopilot.Copy !req
216. That drunk?Copy !req
217. Mr. Bender, you are...Copy !req
218. now in charge of coordinating...Copy !req
219. the professor's bodily functions.Copy !req
220. That's a full-time job.Copy !req
221. And, Fry, as for you...Copy !req
222. I am promoting you
to executive delivery boy.Copy !req
223. You will no longer go
on deliveries...Copy !req
224. and you will have
your own office next to mine.Copy !req
225. All right!Copy !req
226. Mr. Bender,
would you high-five him...Copy !req
227. so that we can continue
this meeting?Copy !req
228. And on the rebound?Copy !req
229. Ah!Copy !req
230. Meeting adjourned.Copy !req
231. I can't figure out...Copy !req
232. why she's so nice to you, Fry.Copy !req
233. She's a hateful monster,
this Morgan.Copy !req
234. She scolded and hit me.Copy !req
235. I tell you, she's risking
my friendship with her.Copy !req
236. Bender! What happened to you?Copy !req
237. Morgan made me walk
the professor.Copy !req
238. There we were in the park...Copy !req
239. when suddenly, some old lady
says I stole her purse.Copy !req
240. I chucked the professor at her...Copy !req
241. but she kept coming,
so I had to hit her...Copy !req
242. with this purse I found.Copy !req
243. Ah, the point is,
it's Morgan's fault.Copy !req
244. That pencil-pushing scaz-wag.Copy !req
245. Why, if she were here, I'd...Copy !req
246. Uh-oh. Is she behind me?Copy !req
247. No, I'm in front of you.Copy !req
248. Morgan? It's 3:00 a.m.Copy !req
249. I know.Copy !req
250. A skunk knocked over my garbage...Copy !req
251. and suddenly,
all I could think of was you.Copy !req
252. My God.Copy !req
253. It's so... repulsive.Copy !req
254. So, uh, this is where you eat?Copy !req
255. Eat and sleep.Copy !req
256. Oh, Fry!Copy !req
257. Uh, wait!Copy !req
258. Bender's my roommate.Copy !req
259. He could be back any second.Copy !req
260. Not likely.Copy !req
261. I ordered him to flush out
the professor's ear wax.Copy !req
262. Hey, Fry, I made you
a candle with...Copy !req
263. What the?Copy !req
264. Oh, now I see.Copy !req
265. Now I get it.Copy !req
266. Now the pieces are
falling into place.Copy !req
267. The office, the promotion...Copy !req
268. that dwarf in my book club
who steals my opinions.Copy !req
269. It's all coming together now.Copy !req
270. I must say this opens my eyes.Copy !req
271. Another case closed,
my dear Watson.Copy !req
272. Morgan, come back.Copy !req
273. He's stuck in a loop.Copy !req
274. For I was blind but now I see.Copy !req
275. The cat's out of the bag now.Copy !req
276. Mr. Bender, about last night...Copy !req
277. That was just a...
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
278. Oh, you didn't understand?Copy !req
279. Well, let me explain.Copy !req
280. You were having sex with you.Copy !req
281. No, you see, a bureaucrat of my rank...Copy !req
282. isn't supposed to fraternize.Copy !req
283. That's what makes it so juicy.Copy !req
284. It's a forbidden fruit angle
everybody loves.Copy !req
285. First I'll say,
"You'll never guess...Copy !req
286. who saw Fry and Morgan doing it."Copy !req
287. And they'll say,
"Who, Bender, who?"Copy !req
288. And I'll say...Copy !req
289. "It was lovable old Bender."Copy !req
290. Hey, what did you do to him?Copy !req
291. I downloaded his brain.Copy !req
292. Everything that is
Bender is right here.Copy !req
293. His mind, his memories...Copy !req
294. his in-your-face interface.Copy !req
295. I am Bender.Copy !req
296. Please insert girder.Copy !req
297. But, but, Bender need
brain for smart making.Copy !req
298. What did you do now?Copy !req
299. Stop doing things.Copy !req
300. I sent the disk to be filed...Copy !req
301. at The Central Bureaucracy.Copy !req
302. I did what I had to do, Fry.Copy !req
303. He was a bad robot.Copy !req
304. No, he was a bad friend.Copy !req
305. I want him back right now.Copy !req
306. Then you should have filed
a request 20 years ago.Copy !req
307. I'm sick of you
and your bureaucracy.Copy !req
308. Dirty boy!Copy !req
309. Dirty boy!Copy !req
310. You and Morgan were
having an affair?Copy !req
311. I couldn't help it.Copy !req
312. She loved me because of the part
of me that's a slob.Copy !req
313. I loved her because of the part
of me that's desperate.Copy !req
314. I am Bender.Copy !req
315. Please insert girder.Copy !req
316. Poor Bender.Copy !req
317. Without his brain...Copy !req
318. he's become all
quiet and helpful.Copy !req
319. We've got to go
to The Central Bureaucracy...Copy !req
320. and get that disk back.Copy !req
321. Oh, yes, we must.Copy !req
322. Yeah.Copy !req
323. Why?Copy !req
324. Well, those arguments aside,
we're still going.Copy !req
325. You can't just waltz into
The Central Bureaucracy.Copy !req
326. It's a tangled web
of red tape and regulations.Copy !req
327. I've never been...Copy !req
328. but a friend of mine
went completely mad...Copy !req
329. just trying to find
the washroom there.Copy !req
330. Then we'll need a guide.Copy !req
331. Someone who's been there before.Copy !req
332. Oh, I've been there.Copy !req
333. Lots of times.Copy !req
334. Look at that.Copy !req
335. The carts go out full,
but they come in empty.Copy !req
336. It's criminally inefficient.Copy !req
337. Quiet, mate.Copy !req
338. Pulling the empty carts
is the closest thing...Copy !req
339. we get to sleep.Copy !req
340. But don't ya see?Copy !req
341. They could increase efficiency
four percent...Copy !req
342. if they used the empty carts...Copy !req
343. to bring in
heavy mining machinery.Copy !req
344. Hey, I like the way you think.Copy !req
345. Oh!Copy !req
346. Oh, Lord.Copy !req
347. You know, you ought to be...Copy !req
348. a bureaucrat or something.Copy !req
349. Man, how long is this...Copy !req
350. going to take?Copy !req
351. I'm still waiting on
my birth certificate.Copy !req
352. Well, it doesn't look like...Copy !req
353. I'll make it inside
with the rest of you.Copy !req
354. But good luck.Copy !req
355. Just leave me where I drop.Copy !req
356. Oh, great.Copy !req
357. Someone had a baby.Copy !req
358. Come on.
I have a better idea.Copy !req
359. Excuse me.Copy !req
360. We're from the Planet
Express Delivery Company.Copy !req
361. We're here to deliver a robot.Copy !req
362. I am Bender.Copy !req
363. Please insert girder.Copy !req
364. Looks like we've got
a new office cutup.Copy !req
365. Look out! Look out!Copy !req
366. I'm going to crash my slow-mobile.Copy !req
367. I had to swerve to avoid you.Copy !req
368. While you're crashing...Copy !req
369. could you tell us where
all these canisters end up?Copy !req
370. Oh, you want central filing.Copy !req
371. Okay.Copy !req
372. Thank you.Copy !req
373. Thanks.Copy !req
374. Wonderful.Copy !req
375. No!Copy !req
376. Central filing?Copy !req
377. Of course I know where that is.Copy !req
378. I'm a grade 20.Copy !req
379. Where is it?Copy !req
380. I can't tell you.Copy !req
381. What do I look like?
A grade 16?Copy !req
382. We're getting nowhere slowly.Copy !req
383. Here.Copy !req
384. I'll address this
to the central filing room.Copy !req
385. Then we'll track it
with my wrist LoJack-a-mater.Copy !req
386. Cold.Copy !req
387. Warmer.Copy !req
388. Hot, hot, hot,
hot, hot, hot.Copy !req
389. Whoo!Copy !req
390. Please don't tell
my supervisor I was sleeping.Copy !req
391. This is it.Copy !req
392. We'll just run in, grab Bender's
disk, and run out. Got it?Copy !req
393. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
394. Wow!Copy !req
395. We'll never find that disk,
will we, Bender?Copy !req
396. I am Bender.Copy !req
397. Please insert girder.Copy !req
398. You're right.
Nothing is over...Copy !req
399. as long as there's
one thin ray of hope.Copy !req
400. Lost something?Copy !req
401. I should have known
you'd come here...Copy !req
402. rather than follow
proper procedure.Copy !req
403. And I did know,
and that's why I came here.Copy !req
404. Listen, Morgan,
we're through.Copy !req
405. You're an evil,
heartless woman...Copy !req
406. and I never want
to see you again.Copy !req
407. However, would you help us
get Bender back...Copy !req
408. for old times' sake?Copy !req
409. I'm afraid he's lost
in the master in-pile.Copy !req
410. And it would take
some sort of giant...Copy !req
411. mechanical atomic-powered
sorting machine to find him.Copy !req
412. You rang?Copy !req
413. Damn it, Hermes,
just jump already.Copy !req
414. Stop hogging that healthy liver.Copy !req
415. No, I want to live.Copy !req
416. Organizing that forced-labor spa...Copy !req
417. rekindled my lifelong love
of bureaucracy.Copy !req
418. My Hermes got that hellhole
running so efficiently...Copy !req
419. that all the physical
labor is now done...Copy !req
420. by a single Australian man.Copy !req
421. But how did you know
we were here?Copy !req
422. Dr. Zoidberg brought us.Copy !req
423. It was me.Copy !req
424. I'm the hero.Copy !req
425. Request for explanation
of incident meeting.Copy !req
426. Number one point zero.Copy !req
427. Number one point zero.Copy !req
428. I hereby petition you for an
emergency sort-and-file...Copy !req
429. under regulation two-point...Copy !req
430. Don't quote me regulations.Copy !req
431. I co-chaired the committee...Copy !req
432. that reviewed the recommendation
to revise the color of the book...Copy !req
433. that regulation's in.Copy !req
434. We kept it gray.Copy !req
435. Sir, please.Copy !req
436. I must locate the disk
with my friend's brain on it.Copy !req
437. Very well.Copy !req
438. But your bureaucratic
license will be revoked...Copy !req
439. if you fail to sort the master
in-pile by closing time.Copy !req
440. 1:00 p.m.Copy !req
441. That's only four minutes from now.Copy !req
442. Requisition me a beat.Copy !req
443. Zoidberg!Copy !req
444. I'm Bender, baby!Copy !req
445. Please insert liquor!Copy !req
446. Congratulations.Copy !req
447. Way to go.Copy !req
448. Congratulations indeed.Copy !req
449. But you finished with
two seconds to spare...Copy !req
450. so I'm demoting you.Copy !req
451. A good bureaucrat
never finishes early.Copy !req
452. That's okay, Hermes.Copy !req
453. At least we have you back.Copy !req
454. Not yet, you don't.Copy !req
455. I'm still acting bureaucrat
of Planet Express...Copy !req
456. and I have some
changes to make.Copy !req
457. First, Fry, you're fired.Copy !req
458. Second...Copy !req
459. Not so fast.Copy !req
460. While I was sorting...Copy !req
461. I came upon a certain document...Copy !req
462. filed by one Morgan Proctor.Copy !req
463. Form "B."Copy !req
464. Notification
of romantic entanglement.Copy !req
465. That's right.
She fraternized me.Copy !req
466. That form isn't about you.Copy !req
467. It refers to my
high school prom date.Copy !req
468. It was a regulation date that ended...Copy !req
469. in regulation disappointment.Copy !req
470. Yes, but you only stamped it
four times.Copy !req
471. No, no.Copy !req
472. I was young and reckless.Copy !req
473. Bureaucrat Conrad,
you are technically correct.Copy !req
474. The best kind of correct.Copy !req
475. I hereby promote you to grade 37.Copy !req
476. And as for you.Copy !req
477. Guards.Copy !req
478. Bring me the forms...Copy !req
479. I need to fill out
to have her taken away.Copy !req
480. Well, it looks like I'll be needing...Copy !req
481. my heroic bureaucrat back.Copy !req
482. At severely reduced pay,
of course.Copy !req
483. Better than nothing.Copy !req
484. What about me? Can I come back
at severely reduced pay?Copy !req
485. You got it, mon.Copy !req
486. In fact, severely
reduced pay all around.Copy !req
487. Come on, wife.Copy !req
488. Let's blow this joint.Copy !req
489. Now it's time for my song.Copy !req
490. Aw!Copy !req