1. Hmm.Copy !req
2. Um... Ah, nah.Copy !req
3. Mm... Ah.Copy !req
4. Yeah.Copy !req
5. Goin' through the 'bot washCopy !req
6. Goin' through the robot washCopy !req
7. Come on, y'all
And sing it with meCopy !req
8. 'Bot washCopy !req
9. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaCopy !req
10. 'Bot wash, yeahCopy !req
11. Hmm!Copy !req
12. Oh...Copy !req
13. Ah.Copy !req
14. Oh!Copy !req
15. Hey, I'm Elzar.Copy !req
16. Welcome to the show.Copy !req
17. You know, you don't have
to drive all the way to NeptuneCopy !req
18. for great Neptunian food.Copy !req
19. Today, we're gonna kick it up a notchCopy !req
20. as I show you how to fricassee
a mouthwatering Neptunian slug.Copy !req
21. Whoo-whee!Copy !req
22. Now, while you're greasing the pan
and preheating your oven to 3,500 degrees,Copy !req
23. you're gonna separate the yolk
from your genetically enhanced eggplant,Copy !req
24. and then give the whole thing a good blast
from your spice weasel.Copy !req
25. Bam!Copy !req
26. Hey, what you watching?Copy !req
27. Uh, nothing.Copy !req
28. Is that a cooking show?Copy !req
29. No, of course not.Copy !req
30. It was, uh...Copy !req
31. Porno. Yeah, that's it.Copy !req
32. Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking.Copy !req
33. That's so cute.Copy !req
34. Aw, it's true.Copy !req
35. I've been hiding it for so long.Copy !req
36. It's okay, Bender. I like cooking, too.Copy !req
37. Pansy.Copy !req
38. Of course, your most important ingredientCopy !req
39. Is this baby right here,
the Neptunian slug.Copy !req
40. You can get it in a can,
but to really do things right,Copy !req
41. you got to strangle yourself a fresh one.Copy !req
42. Now this is why you always want to use
cast iron cookware.Copy !req
43. Bender, mon,
it has come to my attentionCopy !req
44. that this company has been paying you
to do nothing but loaf about on the couch.Copy !req
45. You call that a couch?Copy !req
46. I demand a pillow.Copy !req
47. I'm sorry, but if you want
to continue drawing a salary,Copy !req
48. you've got to do more than watch
the cooking shows all day.Copy !req
49. Hmm...Copy !req
50. You're gonna be the ship's cook?Copy !req
51. Yeah. We're gonna kick it up a notch.
Bam!Copy !req
52. I know you like cooking shows,
but you're a robot.Copy !req
53. You don't even have a sense of taste.Copy !req
54. Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste
if was wearing a lime green tank top.Copy !req
55. Bam!Copy !req
56. So this is little Neptune.Copy !req
57. Yep. Every chef knows this is the place
to get exotic gourmet ingredients.Copy !req
58. Among other things.Copy !req
59. Come on, man!Copy !req
60. Don't hold out on me like this!Copy !req
61. Psst. You want to buy organ?Copy !req
62. Fresh and cheap ready for transplant.Copy !req
63. - Ooh, what's this?
- Ah, it's X-ray eye.Copy !req
64. See through anything.Copy !req
65. Wait a minute. This says Z-ray.Copy !req
66. "Z" is just as good. In fact, it's better.Copy !req
67. It's two more than "X."Copy !req
68. Hmm, I can see where
that would be an advantage.Copy !req
69. Do you take cash?Copy !req
70. Fry, you have to be more careful.Copy !req
71. You're not in the 20th century anymore.Copy !req
72. You don't know how things work here.Copy !req
73. I'm not a little kid, Leela.Copy !req
74. I grew up in this city.Copy !req
75. These are my people.Copy !req
76. - What up?
- Word.Copy !req
77. See?Copy !req
78. Wow! You guys sell
every kind of meat here except human.Copy !req
79. What? You want human?Copy !req
80. What's this spice for?Copy !req
81. That's powdered swamp root.Copy !req
82. Makes you irresistible
to the opposite sex.Copy !req
83. Oh, that's ridiculous.Copy !req
84. I'll take two pounds.Copy !req
85. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
86. I'm looking for fresh slug.Copy !req
87. - Yellow or purple?
- Whatever.Copy !req
88. The purple one
causes terrible nightmarish diarrhea.Copy !req
89. Yeah, yeah, either one's fine.Copy !req
90. Hey, have you seen Fry?Copy !req
91. Now that you mention it,Copy !req
92. I do have trouble
breathing underwater sometimes.Copy !req
93. I'll take the gills.Copy !req
94. Yes, gills.Copy !req
95. Then, uh, you don't need
lungs anymore, is right?Copy !req
96. Can't imagine why I would.Copy !req
97. Lie down on table.Copy !req
98. I take lungs now, gills come next week.Copy !req
99. Nurse!Copy !req
100. Let's do it.Copy !req
101. You may feel small pain.Copy !req
102. Hyah!Copy !req
103. Thank you.Copy !req
104. What the hell were you doing?Copy !req
105. I warned you to stay away from those guys.Copy !req
106. I'm capable of making
my own decisions, Leela.Copy !req
107. Did you ever stop to think
I might be happier with gills?Copy !req
108. Good news, everyone.Copy !req
109. Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.Copy !req
110. You'll be making a delivery
to the planet Trisol.Copy !req
111. Here it comes.Copy !req
112. A mysterious world in the darkest depths
of the forbidden zone.Copy !req
113. Thank you, and good night.Copy !req
114. Uh, Professor, are we even
allowed in the forbidden zone?Copy !req
115. Why, of course. It's just a name.Copy !req
116. Like the Death Zone
or the Zone of No Return.Copy !req
117. All the zones have names like that
in the Galaxy of Terror.Copy !req
118. - Uh, Professor...
- Off you go.Copy !req
119. Pleasant trip.Copy !req
120. Hey, BenderCopy !req
121. - How's dinner coming?
- Almost ready.Copy !req
122. Ah, now for a dash of salt.Copy !req
123. Uh-oh.Copy !req
124. Listen, this is Bender's first meal
and he's a little sensitive.Copy !req
125. So let's be supportive, okay?Copy !req
126. - Right.
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
127. Oh, dear God!Copy !req
128. Ugh. That's the saltiest thing
I've ever tasted.Copy !req
129. And I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.Copy !req
130. Bender, is this salt water?Copy !req
131. That's salt with water in it,
if that's what you mean.Copy !req
132. My vision's fading.Copy !req
133. I think I'm gonna die.Copy !req
134. There was nothing wrong with that food.Copy !req
135. The salt level was 10% less
than a lethal dose.Copy !req
136. Uh-oh, I shouldn't have had seconds.Copy !req
137. Okay, Fry, here's the package to deliver.Copy !req
138. And for once in your life, be careful.Copy !req
139. This is my first visit
to the Galaxy of TerrorCopy !req
140. and I'd like it to be a pleasant one.Copy !req
141. Ow!Copy !req
142. Don't touch anything or talk to anyone.Copy !req
143. Just go to the palace,
drop it off and come right back.Copy !req
144. Geez, will you lay off?Copy !req
145. I was delivering things
before you were born.Copy !req
146. I think I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
147. Oh, stupid slug.Copy !req
148. I've never been so thirsty.Copy !req
149. Oh, come on, go down already.Copy !req
150. Hello? Anybody home?Copy !req
151. Ah...Copy !req
152. The royal bottle is empty!Copy !req
153. You drank our emperor!Copy !req
154. No, it wasn't me.Copy !req
155. You drank our emperor!
You assassinated him!Copy !req
156. I didn't mean to.
He just looked so cool and refreshing.Copy !req
157. I'm sure he was.Copy !req
158. But now he's gone,
and your fate is sealed.Copy !req
159. All hail the new emperor!Copy !req
160. Hail! Hail! Hail!Copy !req
161. So after I specifically
asked you not to touch anything,Copy !req
162. you drank a bottle of strange blue liquid.Copy !req
163. It could have been poisonous acid.Copy !req
164. It could have been, but chances were
equally good it was an emperor.Copy !req
165. Excuse me, Your Majesty.Copy !req
166. I am Murg, the high priest.Copy !req
167. If I might interject?Copy !req
168. You might.Copy !req
169. I humbly advise that, as your first act,
you choose a capable prime minister.Copy !req
170. I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee.Copy !req
171. I will be a forceful
and effective administrator.Copy !req
172. You know, Fry, I've often thought
about becoming a prime minister.Copy !req
173. I gotta go with Bender.Copy !req
174. Yes! In your face, Gorgak!Copy !req
175. That's it, Fry.Copy !req
176. As your captain,
I order you back to the ship.Copy !req
177. You are in way over your head.Copy !req
178. Gee, you think so, Captain?Copy !req
179. I'd better check with my prime minister.Copy !req
180. Stay the course, pal.Copy !req
181. Your Highness, a package came for you.Copy !req
182. Hey, thanks.Copy !req
183. Wow, this got here just in time.Copy !req
184. This is Your Majesty's harem.Copy !req
185. You may choose any of these maidens
to be your royal consort.Copy !req
186. Uh... Uh, uh, uh... How about that one?Copy !req
187. Oh! I didn't realize Your Majesty
was into that sort of thing.Copy !req
188. On second thought, uh, I'll take that one.Copy !req
189. Hey, whatever you say.
I'm not here to pass judgment.Copy !req
190. Does anyone else think it's odd
that a shiftless, 25-year-old delivery boyCopy !req
191. could drop out of the sky,
kill the emperorCopy !req
192. and be rewarded instead of punished?Copy !req
193. You don't have to beat
around the bush, Leela.Copy !req
194. We all know who you're talking about.Copy !req
195. Me, right?Copy !req
196. Uh, I don't think
there's anything to worry about.Copy !req
197. These people seem really mild-mannered.Copy !req
198. They are mild.
In fact, you're soaking in one right now.Copy !req
199. You touched me in ways
I've never been touched before.Copy !req
200. Ah, there you are, Your Majesty.Copy !req
201. It's time to begin preparing
for tomorrow's coronation ceremony.Copy !req
202. A fancy dress gala?
I'll wear my formal shell.Copy !req
203. Fry will be enthroned tomorrow
at the setting of the three suns,Copy !req
204. when we Trisolians
enter our nocturnal phase.Copy !req
205. There won't be a lot
of long-winded speeches, will there?Copy !req
206. Only one.Copy !req
207. The absolutely flawless recitation
from memory of the royal oath...Copy !req
208. by you.Copy !req
209. Will there be cake?Copy !req
210. - Yeah, I know.
- Hi!Copy !req
211. - There you go.
- Mmm!Copy !req
212. And now, get ready to laugh
till your sides leakCopy !req
213. with our planet's foremost
political satirist, Florp.Copy !req
214. So what is the deal with people
from under the orange sun?Copy !req
215. They're all...Copy !req
216. But us guys from under
the red sun, we're like...Copy !req
217. Right? Am I right?Copy !req
218. Oh, yeah, he's right.Copy !req
219. Fry, I have to talk to you.Copy !req
220. You're in terrible danger.Copy !req
221. You see emperor Plon here?Copy !req
222. He met his end
when he was drunk by Emperor Strug.Copy !req
223. And before he could even wipe his mouth,Copy !req
224. Strug was drunk by Shwab.Copy !req
225. - So?
Look at all these guys.Copy !req
226. Do you have any idea what
the average length of their reigns was?Copy !req
227. Uh... 80,000 years?Copy !req
228. No, one week.Copy !req
229. Damn. I knew you wouldn't have asked
unless it was really high or really low.Copy !req
230. Every emperor ascended to power
by assassinating the previous one.Copy !req
231. And guess who's next?Copy !req
232. Well, at least my assassin
will get what's coming to him.Copy !req
233. You're in tremendous danger, you idiot!Copy !req
234. Half these emperors
were drunk at their own coronation.Copy !req
235. Hey, I plan on having
a few brewskis myself.Copy !req
236. No, they were assassinated.Copy !req
237. In fact, the law says
you'll be killed on the spotCopy !req
238. if you fail to recite
the oath from memory.Copy !req
239. Yeah, I was gonna
thumb through that later.Copy !req
240. That is completely reckless.Copy !req
241. Don't you ever think ahead?Copy !req
242. Hell, no.Copy !req
243. If I stopped to think ahead,
I wouldn't be emperor,Copy !req
244. and I wouldn't even be here
in the year 3000.Copy !req
245. It's just like the story
of the grasshopper and the octopus.Copy !req
246. All year long, the grasshopper
kept burying acorns for winterCopy !req
247. while the octopus mooched off
his girlfriend and watched TV.Copy !req
248. But then the winter came
and the grasshopper died,Copy !req
249. and the octopus ate all his acorns
and also, he got a race car.Copy !req
250. Is any of this getting through to you?Copy !req
251. Ugh. I give up.
You're gonna get yourself killed,Copy !req
252. and this time,
I won't be able to save you.Copy !req
253. Who asked you to?Copy !req
254. I told you a hundred times
to stop treating me like a baby.Copy !req
255. Now go. Go gather your nuts,
you nagging grasshopper.Copy !req
256. That's it! I'm never helping you again.Copy !req
257. If anyone except you needs me,
I'll be in the ship.Copy !req
258. I'll be fine.Copy !req
259. It's not like anyone's gonna drink me.Copy !req
260. Quit it.Copy !req
261. People of Trisol,Copy !req
262. it is my honor to present
your new emperor.Copy !req
263. What up?Copy !req
264. Stick to the oath.Copy !req
265. Right.Copy !req
266. I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous,Copy !req
267. who drank Ungo the Moist,Copy !req
268. who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant,Copy !req
269. who slurped Hudj the Dewy,Copy !req
270. who enjoyed a soup composed
principally of Throm the Chunky,Copy !req
271. do solemnly swear
to rule with honor and...Copy !req
272. insanity...Copy !req
273. uh, integrity.Copy !req
274. Congratulations, Your Highness.Copy !req
275. I now present you
with your royal unisex robe.Copy !req
276. Long live Fry the Solid!Copy !req
277. Hey, look, the suns are setting.Copy !req
278. I can finally switch to hard liquor.Copy !req
279. Ah.Copy !req
280. Check out the glowing freaks.Copy !req
281. It's beautiful.Copy !req
282. Hey, what's that?Copy !req
283. The emperor Bont!Copy !req
284. He's still alive!Copy !req
285. Of course I'm alive.Copy !req
286. Now cut this creep open and drain me out.Copy !req
287. My tummy hurts.Copy !req
288. They're over here.
They're running up the stairs.Copy !req
289. Shut up, you.Copy !req
290. Let us in!Copy !req
291. Fry must die so that bont may live.Copy !req
292. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
293. We've gotta get the emperor
out of your body before they kill you.Copy !req
294. Relax, Fry.Copy !req
295. I'll simply spin you
in a high-speed centrifuge,Copy !req
296. separating out
the denser fluid of His Highness.Copy !req
297. But won't that crush my bones?Copy !req
298. Oh, right, right, with the bones.Copy !req
299. I always forget about the bones.Copy !req
300. Hey, why don't you just sweat him out?Copy !req
301. Forget it.Copy !req
302. As emperor, I refuse to be dripped out
through somebody's armpit.Copy !req
303. I could vomit or urinate.
Would you feel better about that?Copy !req
304. Slightly. But my favorite so far
is the bone crushing.Copy !req
305. What about crying?Copy !req
306. That's a great idea. Crying.Copy !req
307. Fine. That or the bone one.Copy !req
308. Keep it up, men.
The veneer is starting to peel.Copy !req
309. Oh, dear.Copy !req
310. It's no use.
I wanna cry, but I'm just too macho.Copy !req
311. I'll make you cry, buddy.Copy !req
312. You're a pimple on society's assCopy !req
313. and you'll never amount to anything.Copy !req
314. What do you mean?
I was emperor of a whole planet.Copy !req
315. Good point.Copy !req
316. But here's a disturbing reminder,Copy !req
317. everyone you knew or loved
in the 20th century is dead.Copy !req
318. - These things happen.
- Argh.Copy !req
319. Okay, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this oneCopy !req
320. 'cause there's no godCopy !req
321. and your idiotic human ideals
are laughable.Copy !req
322. Whew.Copy !req
323. That's a load off my mind.Copy !req
324. Man, I guess it's harder than I thought
to make someone cry.Copy !req
325. You did your best, Bender.Copy !req
326. Up yours, bimbo!Copy !req
327. Let's face it, we're in hot butter here.Copy !req
328. We should call Leela for help.Copy !req
329. Cram it, lobster.Copy !req
330. But that is a good idea. I'll go call her.Copy !req
331. Eh, she'll never help me.Copy !req
332. She's still mad that I told her
never to help me.Copy !req
333. Come on, Leela's not the type
to hold a grudge.Copy !req
334. Collect call from...Copy !req
335. I'm not giving my name
to a machine!Copy !req
336. I'll accept.Copy !req
337. Fry's in trouble and he needs help.Copy !req
338. Now, I don't like you
and you don't like me...Copy !req
339. - I like you.
- You do?Copy !req
340. Ah. Look, are you gonna help or not?Copy !req
341. I don't know why I should.
I mean, after what he...Copy !req
342. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
343. What is it you like best about me?Copy !req
344. Is she coming?Copy !req
345. I'm not sure, but I do know
that she likes my in-your-face attitude.Copy !req
346. What the hell is that?Copy !req
347. It's the Juice-A-Matic 4000.Copy !req
348. It'll strain my juices from you
while filtering out the pulp.Copy !req
349. By which I mean your shredded remains.Copy !req
350. Of course. Why didn't I think of that?Copy !req
351. This is the saddest day of my lifeCopy !req
352. and I still can't cry.Copy !req
353. Wait a second.Copy !req
354. Here comes Leela!Copy !req
355. Oh, no. They have her totally outnumbered.Copy !req
356. I can't believe it.Copy !req
357. She's risking her life for me
after the way I treated her?Copy !req
358. Oh, I don't deserve this.Copy !req
359. I feel terrible.Copy !req
360. You do? Hmm...Copy !req
361. - Is she all right?
- Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
362. Perhaps I'll look out this window.Copy !req
363. Oh, dear God in heaven!
They're swarming all over her!Copy !req
364. No! no!Copy !req
365. What are you talking about, Bender?
She's...Copy !req
366. Mm.Copy !req
367. There's strapping her to the juicer!Copy !req
368. Oh, they're putting some ice cubes
in the glass under it.Copy !req
369. This can't be happening!Copy !req
370. It can, and for all you know, it is.Copy !req
371. Oh, I'm sorry, Fry.Copy !req
372. She's dead.Copy !req
373. All Leela ever wanted to do was help meCopy !req
374. And I was too proud
and stupid to accept it.Copy !req
375. I wish I had died instead of her.Copy !req
376. What are you talking about?Copy !req
377. Leela! You're alive!Copy !req
378. Of course I'm alive.Copy !req
379. I told Fry you were dead
so he would cry out the emperor,Copy !req
380. but you had to go
and wreck it by surviving.Copy !req
381. We only got two drops.Copy !req
382. What the...Copy !req
383. It's only a matter of time now.Copy !req
384. I'll handle this.Copy !req
385. Listen, Fry,
I think I can get us out of thisCopy !req
386. if you're willing to let me help you.Copy !req
387. Thanks, Leela.Copy !req
388. From now on, I'll take all the help
you're willing to give.Copy !req
389. I know you just want what's best for me.Copy !req
390. Ow! What was that for?Copy !req
391. Hey, come on!Copy !req
392. That hurt!Copy !req
393. I know.
Amy, get the bottle.Copy !req
394. Ow!Copy !req
395. Oh, now I understand.Copy !req
396. Come on. Everybody help out Fry.Copy !req
397. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
398. Thanks, everybody.
I love you all.Copy !req
399. You guys are true... Oh!Copy !req
400. Cut it out, Bender. That's a tender area.Copy !req
401. How we doing, Amy?Copy !req
402. Great. We're one-tenth of the way there.Copy !req
403. Okay, it's your turn.Copy !req
404. Hey, wait a minute. Who are you?Copy !req
405. I'm the emperor.Copy !req
406. Thanks for crying me out.Copy !req
407. Oh, you're welcome.Copy !req
408. Hey, save some for me!Copy !req