1. I can't take it anymore!
They've been at it for hours!Copy !req
2. Give it a rest, you two!Copy !req
3. Sorry!Copy !req
4. Good morning, class.Copy !req
5. I trust you've all prepared
for today's final exam.Copy !req
6. Uh, excuse me. I missed a few lectures.
Uh, what subject is this?Copy !req
7. Ancient Egyptian algebra.Copy !req
8. What a nightmare!Copy !req
9. Mr. Fry, are those your underpants?Copy !req
10. Young man, I think it's timeCopy !req
11. you learned a lesson
about Lightspeed brand briefs.Copy !req
12. Lightspeed fits
today's active lifestyleCopy !req
13. whether you're on the job...Copy !req
14. Or having fun.Copy !req
15. Lightspeed briefs...Copy !req
16. Style and comfort
for the discriminating crotch.Copy !req
17. Oh! What a weird dream.Copy !req
18. I'll never get back to sleep.Copy !req
19. So, you're telling me they broadcast
commercials into people's dreams?Copy !req
20. - Of course.
But how is that possible?Copy !req
21. - It's very simple.Copy !req
22. The ad gets into your brain
just like this liquid gets into this egg.Copy !req
23. Although, in reality,
it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.Copy !req
24. That's awful. It's like brainwashing.Copy !req
25. Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?Copy !req
26. Well, sure, but not in our dreams.Copy !req
27. Only on TV and radio...Copy !req
28. And in magazines...Copy !req
29. And movies...Copy !req
30. And at ball games...Copy !req
31. And on buses and milk cartons
and T-shirts and bananasCopy !req
32. and written on the sky,Copy !req
33. but not in dreams.Copy !req
34. No, sirree.Copy !req
35. Quit squawking, fleshwad.
Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.Copy !req
36. Yeah. I mean,
we all had commercials in our dreams,Copy !req
37. but you don't see us running off to buy
brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.Copy !req
38. Hi. Care to sample the latest fragrance
from Calvin Clone?Copy !req
39. No, thanks.Copy !req
40. And you, sir?Copy !req
41. No, thanks. I...Copy !req
42. What a lovely face.Copy !req
43. We just need to draw attention
away from the eye area.Copy !req
44. Cool.Copy !req
45. Can I try these on before I buy them?Copy !req
46. I'm afraid
I can't let you open the package,Copy !req
47. but you can try on the demo pair.Copy !req
48. Ooh.Copy !req
49. Ho-ho-ho.Copy !req
50. Hey, Bender. Great new sweater.Copy !req
51. Uh, "new"? What sweater?
I came in with it!Copy !req
52. I don't know you people.Copy !req
53. $30, please.Copy !req
54. $30? I can't afford that.Copy !req
55. Unless...Copy !req
56. Do you take Visa?Copy !req
57. Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.Copy !req
58. - American Express?
- 600 years.Copy !req
59. - Discover card?
- Mm, sorry, we don't take Discover.Copy !req
60. Hey... You're springing for Lightspeeds?
Pretty ritzy.Copy !req
61. No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks.Copy !req
62. What kind of world is this where they
advertise things not everybody can afford?Copy !req
63. Quiet. There's an ad coming on.Copy !req
64. Hello, shoppers.Copy !req
65. It's me, Mom.Copy !req
66. - Hey, who's the rocker jockey?
- Guh! It's Mom,Copy !req
67. the world's most huggable industrialist.Copy !req
68. Call me old-fashioned,Copy !req
69. but when my robot starts to squeak
like an old screen door,Copy !req
70. well, that's when I reach for a can
of Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil.Copy !req
71. Ooh, tasty.Copy !req
72. And remember, Mom's Oil is made with
10% more love than the next leading brand.Copy !req
73. "Mom,"love" and "screen door"
are registered trademarks of Momcorp.Copy !req
74. Hey, Bender, sounds like
you can use a little of that oil.Copy !req
75. Um...Copy !req
76. I'm boned.Copy !req
77. Freeze, scuzzbot!Copy !req
78. Uh, there's obviously been
some sort of a mistake here.Copy !req
79. I'm sure there's...Copy !req
80. I say, I'm sure there's...Copy !req
81. That is, I'm sure there's...Copy !req
82. A very...Copy !req
83. Reasonable...Copy !req
84. Do we have enough money
to pay Bender's fine?Copy !req
85. Seventy-eight, 79, 79.50.Copy !req
86. Crud. We're 50 cents short.Copy !req
87. I'd love to chip in,
but Bender stole my wallet.Copy !req
88. Hey, that's my old bank.Copy !req
89. Maybe my account's still open.Copy !req
90. Hmm. We don't seem
to have your retina scan,Copy !req
91. your fingerprint
or your colonic map on file.Copy !req
92. Yeah, well, I did open the account
over a thousand years ago.Copy !req
93. What about my ATM card?Copy !req
94. Do you still remember
your pin number?Copy !req
95. Sure. It's the price
of a cheese pizza and a large sodaCopy !req
96. back where I used to work...
Pinucci's Pizza.Copy !req
97. Okay. You had a balance of 93 cents.Copy !req
98. All right.Copy !req
99. And at an average
of two and a quarter percent interestCopy !req
100. over a period of 1,000 years,
that comes to...Copy !req
101. $4.3 billion.Copy !req
102. - To Fry.
- Cheers!Copy !req
103. I know Fry's rich, but do we really
have to wear these top hats?Copy !req
104. Maybe you don't understand
just how rich he is.Copy !req
105. In fact,
I think I better put on a monocle.Copy !req
106. Pizza dinner on me.Copy !req
107. Just keep the tab under $50 million.Copy !req
108. Yo. I haven't got all day.
What kind of pizza yous guys want?Copy !req
109. Uh, yeah, we'll have, uh,
one with everything but anchoviesCopy !req
110. and, uh,
one with my all-time favorite topping...Copy !req
111. Anchovies.Copy !req
112. Invalid selection.Copy !req
113. Yo,
what are you talking about?Copy !req
114. Anchovies. You know,
those little headless fish?Copy !req
115. Does not compute.Copy !req
116. Does not compute.Copy !req
117. I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy
has been extinct since the 2200s.Copy !req
118. - What?
- Oh, my, yes, fished to death...Copy !req
119. Just about the time your people
arrived on Earth, wasn't it, Zoidberg?Copy !req
120. I'm not on trial here.Copy !req
121. So none of you has ever had anchovies?Copy !req
122. Oh, man,
you don't know what you're missing.Copy !req
123. They were all salty and oily,
and they melted in your mouth...Copy !req
124. Stop! Stop! I admit it.
My people ate them all.Copy !req
125. We kept saying, "one more can't hurt,"
and then they were gone.Copy !req
126. We're sorry!Copy !req
127. I just wish I could have
showed you guys how great they were.Copy !req
128. I may be rich, but I still can't buy backCopy !req
129. all the things I miss
from the 20th century.Copy !req
130. Maybe you're forgetting
just how rich you are.Copy !req
131. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
132. Yeah!Copy !req
133. So, what do you think?Copy !req
134. I know you spent a lot of money
on this place, Fry,Copy !req
135. but it's awfully primitive.Copy !req
136. The floors are made of such hard wood.Copy !req
137. Hey, get a load of this
pathetic 20th-century TV.Copy !req
138. What's wrong with it?Copy !req
139. Well, aside from causing eye cancer,Copy !req
140. these things had a lousy,
low-definition picture.Copy !req
141. That's true.Copy !req
142. On a TV like this, I bet you couldn't even
make out my obscene tattoo.Copy !req
143. That's cute.Copy !req
144. Sold!Copy !req
145. Yes!Copy !req
146. I just don't get it.Copy !req
147. Who was this Ted DansonCopy !req
148. and why would you pay $10,000
for his skeleton?Copy !req
149. I have an idea for a sitcom.Copy !req
150. Ah, leave him alone, Leela.Copy !req
151. So he's going
a little wacko with his money.Copy !req
152. That's okay.Copy !req
153. You're just saying thatCopy !req
154. 'cause he bought you
that antique robot toy.Copy !req
155. Yeah.Copy !req
156. It is cute.Copy !req
157. Now, our final item, this unopened canCopy !req
158. of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies,
circa 1997.Copy !req
159. Anchovies?Copy !req
160. The last known can in existence,
guaranteed fresh and edible.Copy !req
161. Do I hear $10,000?Copy !req
162. $15,000.Copy !req
163. Twenty.Copy !req
164. Thirty. No, 40.Copy !req
165. $50,000.Copy !req
166. Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.Copy !req
167. Don't tell me how to spend my money.Copy !req
168. Fifty, going once, twice...Copy !req
169. $75,000.Copy !req
170. Oh, my God. It's Mom.Copy !req
171. I've never seen her in person before.Copy !req
172. $100,000.Copy !req
173. Fry, you can't bid against Mom.Copy !req
174. She's the richest,
most powerful person in the world.Copy !req
175. And she's so adorable.Copy !req
176. Well, I suppose I could go as high as...Copy !req
177. $300,000.Copy !req
178. - Five hundred.
- Oh, mercy me. A million.Copy !req
179. - Two.
- Six.Copy !req
180. Fourteen.Copy !req
181. I can see the nice young man
really wants those little fish.Copy !req
182. Nevertheless, I'll bid $23 million.Copy !req
183. One jillion dollars.Copy !req
184. Sir, that's not a number.Copy !req
185. Oh. In that case... $50 million.Copy !req
186. Well, boys, your old mother knows
when she's been beat.Copy !req
187. You win, young man.
I tip my bonnet to you.Copy !req
188. Oh, isn't she adorable?Copy !req
189. What a class act. Sold!Copy !req
190. To the gentleman who bought
every item In today's auction.Copy !req
191. Now for some good old 20th-century TV.Copy !req
192. Ah.Copy !req
193. Do you remember a timeCopy !req
194. when chocolate chip cookies
came fresh from the oven?Copy !req
195. Petridge Farm remembers.Copy !req
196. Oh, those were the days.Copy !req
197. Do you remember a time
when women couldn't voteCopy !req
198. and certain folk
weren't allowed on golf courses?Copy !req
199. Petridge Farm remembers.Copy !req
200. - Fry, are you there?
- Huh?Copy !req
201. You haven't been to work in three days.
What have you been doing?Copy !req
202. I've been sitting right here.Copy !req
203. I picked up my life exactly where
I left off a thousand years ago.Copy !req
204. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's 8:00.
Time to get busy.Copy !req
205. I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't denyCopy !req
206. You can't just sit here in the dark
listening to classical music.Copy !req
207. I could if you hadn't turned on the lights
and shut off the stereo.Copy !req
208. Fry, this isn't healthy.
You're living in the past.Copy !req
209. I'm rich. I can live whenever I want.Copy !req
210. But we're your friends,
and we live here in the year 3000.Copy !req
211. Yeah.Copy !req
212. Now, are you going to come
to the squid fights with usCopy !req
213. or sit here wallowing
in your prehistoric junk?Copy !req
214. Junk?Copy !req
215. Maybe you can't understand this,Copy !req
216. but I finally found
what I need to be happy,Copy !req
217. and it's not friends, it's things.Copy !req
218. I'm a thing.Copy !req
219. Just leave me alone.Copy !req
220. Fry, please.Copy !req
221. My ponytail's caught in the door.Copy !req
222. I don't need them.Copy !req
223. Not when I have my antique videos,
my bucket of fossilized KFCCopy !req
224. and $50 million worth of anchovies.Copy !req
225. Mercy me, what a day.Copy !req
226. Could you shut the door, Igner, dear?Copy !req
227. I think I feel a draft coming on.Copy !req
228. Holy crap, that bastard's itchy.Copy !req
229. Walt, cream soda.Copy !req
230. Right away, Mother.Copy !req
231. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.Copy !req
232. But Mom said...Copy !req
233. You heard me.Copy !req
234. What's wrong, Mommy?Copy !req
235. It's those damned anchovies.Copy !req
236. That dirtbag Fry must know their secretCopy !req
237. and I won't rest
until I get my hands on them.Copy !req
238. No one messes with Mom.Copy !req
239. Quiet, you.Copy !req
240. As you boys know,
one of the cornerstones of my empireCopy !req
241. is Mom's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil.Copy !req
242. Think of it, ten billion robots,Copy !req
243. each one needing an oil change
every 3,000 miles.Copy !req
244. You don't have to do the math
to know that's a buttload of oil.Copy !req
245. Can I wear your fat suit?Copy !req
246. No, Igner, put that down!Copy !req
247. Ohh.Copy !req
248. What does this have to do
with the anchovies?Copy !req
249. I'm getting to the freaking anchovies.Copy !req
250. A single drop of the anchovy's natural oil
would lubricate ten robots permanently.Copy !req
251. Wow. It's a shame they went extinct.Copy !req
252. No, it isn't! Shut your filthy clam!Copy !req
253. Thank you, Walt.Copy !req
254. If anyone ever got hold of anchovy DNA,
they could chop out the oil-making gene,Copy !req
255. stick it in a bunch of third world kids
and bam!Copy !req
256. Cheap, effective robot oil.Copy !req
257. Enough to put dear old Mom
out of business.Copy !req
258. My God, this Mr. Fry
must be a mastermind of the highest order.Copy !req
259. Esther, you ugly.Copy !req
260. We have only one option.Copy !req
261. We'll have to bankrupt Mr. FryCopy !req
262. so he'll be forced
to sell the anchovies to us.Copy !req
263. Mother, you are one clever old scag.Copy !req
264. And don't you forget it.Copy !req
265. But how are we supposed to get
Fry's money out of the bank?Copy !req
266. That part will be easy,
thanks to the nice peopleCopy !req
267. at Mom's Old-Fashioned
Video Surveillance unit.Copy !req
268. Do you still remember your pin number?Copy !req
269. Sure. It's the price
of a cheese pizza and a large sodaCopy !req
270. back where I used to work...
Pinucci's Pizza.Copy !req
271. It's the price of a cheese pizza
and a large soda.Copy !req
272. You know what needs to be done.Copy !req
273. What?Copy !req
274. Get his pin number, you idiots!Copy !req
275. Now I'm off to some charity BS
for knocked-up teenage sluts.Copy !req
276. Mr. Fry,
it's those three plumbers you called for.Copy !req
277. We're here to tighten your drains.Copy !req
278. Ow!Copy !req
279. I didn't order any...Copy !req
280. Quick! Give him the tranquilizer.Copy !req
281. That's a good boy.Copy !req
282. Wake up, Mr. Fry.Copy !req
283. Where am I?Copy !req
284. You're in the good old year 2000
working here at Pinucci's Pizza.Copy !req
285. You fell asleep on the job.Copy !req
286. Well, that sounds like me,
but I thought I got frozen.Copy !req
287. Wasn't I in the future?Copy !req
288. No, you only "dreamed"
you were in the year 3000.Copy !req
289. So I'm really back?Copy !req
290. Well, that's exactly what I wanted,
I guess.Copy !req
291. Who are you?Copy !req
292. I'm Mr. Pinucci.Copy !req
293. You are?Copy !req
294. Did-did you grow a mustache
since last night?Copy !req
295. No. Now, go work the currency register.Copy !req
296. I think I hear a customer coming.Copy !req
297. I said,
"I think I hear a customer coming."Copy !req
298. Oh, hurry up, please.
I want to get back to the head museum.Copy !req
299. Don't worry, Miss Anderson.
This won't take long.Copy !req
300. Now, your motivation is,
you're back in the year 2000Copy !req
301. and your head's still on your body
and you want a cheese pizza.Copy !req
302. Okay, but I'm only doing thisCopy !req
303. so people will take my head seriously
as an actress.Copy !req
304. Hey, look... Anchovies.Copy !req
305. Of course. They're not extinct yet.Copy !req
306. And if you need further proof
that this is really a thousand years ago,Copy !req
307. well, here's contemporary actress
Pamela Anderson.Copy !req
308. Ooh.Copy !req
309. Hello, Fry.Copy !req
310. Remember me from Baywatch: The Movie?Copy !req
311. Uh...Copy !req
312. It was the first movie
to be shot entirely in slow motion.Copy !req
313. It hasn't been made yet.Copy !req
314. Then he doesn't know
I won the Oscar?Copy !req
315. - Nope.
- Crap!Copy !req
316. Wait. You're Pamela Anderson.Copy !req
317. Cool. What can I get you?Copy !req
318. Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza
and a large...Copy !req
319. Uh... Line?Copy !req
320. - Soda.
- Oh, right.Copy !req
321. Cheese pizza
and a large soda.Copy !req
322. Uh, cheese and a...Copy !req
323. That was quick.Copy !req
324. So, what do I owe you?Copy !req
325. $10.77...Copy !req
326. Same as my pin number.Copy !req
327. Hey, you don't get to laugh.Copy !req
328. Thanks a billion.Copy !req
329. More like 4.3 billion.Copy !req
330. - Oh!
- Ow!Copy !req
331. Uh, I had a nightmare
I was in the year 2000Copy !req
332. and you guys never existed.Copy !req
333. I'm so glad I'm awake now
and you're really here.Copy !req
334. Since when do you care about us?Copy !req
335. We thought you only cared about
cans of anchoviesCopy !req
336. and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.Copy !req
337. No, that's not true.Copy !req
338. Goodbye.Copy !req
339. Whee!Copy !req
340. This dream brought to you
by Lightspeed briefs.Copy !req
341. Bender, Leela...Copy !req
342. Don't leave me.Copy !req
343. Wait a minute.
Hey, hey, buddy, what year is this?Copy !req
344. Uh... 3000.Copy !req
345. 3000?Copy !req
346. Yes! I'm still in the future!
Life is wonderful!Copy !req
347. Wait. What are you doing with my stuff?Copy !req
348. Uh, check bounced.
We're taking it all back.Copy !req
349. Oh, no, my ATM Card...
My-my secret pin number, 1077.Copy !req
350. I've got nothing left.Copy !req
351. Except...Copy !req
352. You're Fry's relative.
Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?Copy !req
353. Uh, what?Copy !req
354. Oh, yeah, they say madness
runs in our family.Copy !req
355. Some even call me mad.Copy !req
356. And why?Copy !req
357. Because I dared to dream
of my own race of atomic monsters.Copy !req
358. Atomic supermen
with octagonal-shaped bodiesCopy !req
359. that suck blood out of you...Copy !req
360. Leela, Bender! I missed you so much.Copy !req
361. You did? What happened?Copy !req
362. I was robbed.
They got everything, except these.Copy !req
363. Who did?Copy !req
364. Hello, Fry.Copy !req
365. It's Mom.Copy !req
366. I felt terrible when I heard
about your money troublesCopy !req
367. and I thought maybe I could help out
a sweet young manCopy !req
368. by buying his anchovies.Copy !req
369. Sorry, but the anchovies aren't for sale.Copy !req
370. What? Listen, you little bastard.Copy !req
371. I control the robot oil business
and I won't let you ruin me.Copy !req
372. How much do you want?Copy !req
373. You might as well put that checkbook awayCopy !req
374. because I've discovered something
even more important...Copy !req
375. My friends, and they aren't worth
even a penny to me.Copy !req
376. That's why these anchovies
are going on a pizza...Copy !req
377. So I can share the food I love
with the people I like.Copy !req
378. Holy hell! You're going to eat them?Copy !req
379. Oh! Well, just make sure you eat them all.
You're a growing boy.Copy !req
380. Toodle-oo!Copy !req
381. Dumb ass.Copy !req
382. What a nice lady.Copy !req
383. Okay, my friends,
get ready for the most deliciousCopy !req
384. extinct animal you've ever tasted.Copy !req
385. I don't know. I've had cow.Copy !req
386. - Gross!
- Ick!Copy !req
387. Mm.Copy !req
388. Eh, no one likes them at first,
but they'll grow on you.Copy !req
389. That stench...Copy !req
390. That heavenly stench.Copy !req
391. More.Copy !req
392. There aren't any more,
and there never will be.Copy !req
393. More!Copy !req
394. More!Copy !req
395. More!Copy !req
396. More!Copy !req