Futurama 1x1

Directed by Gregg Vanzo • Rich Moore

Dick Clark as Dick Clark's Head (voice) • Leonard Nimoy as Leonard Nimoy's Head (Voice) • Kath Soucie as Michelle / Rude Boy / Head Museum Feeder (voice)

On New Year's Eve 1999, Pizza Delivery boy Philip J. Fry accidentally falls into a cryogenic chamber and is frozen for 1,000 years. Finally unfrozen, he explores New New York, meets his new best friend (a kleptomaniacal robot named Bender) and goes to work for his great-great-great-great-grand-nephew's space delivery business.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Space.

2. It seems to go on and on forever.

3. But then you get to the end

4. and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

5. And that's how you play the game.

6. You stink, loser.

7. Hey, Fry! Pizza going out.

8. Come on!

9. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

10. Michelle, baby, where you going?

11. It's not working out, Fry.

12. I put your stuff out on the sidewalk!

13. I hate my life,

14. I hate my life, I hate my life.

15. Happy New Year!

16. Hello! Pizza delivery for, uh...

17. "I.C. Wiener"?

18. Oh, crud.

19. I always thought by this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls.

20. Here's to another lousy millennium.

21. Ten!

22. One!

23. What th...

24. Phew.

25. My God.

26. It's the future.

27. My parents.

28. My coworkers.

29. My girlfriend.

30. I'll never see any of them again.

31. Ya-hoo!

32. Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

33. Why do you always have to say it that way?

34. Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship?

35. Come! Your destiny awaits!

36. Have a nice future.

37. Cool. Just like in Star Trek.

38. Oh!

39. - Good afternoon, sir.

40. - Mmm...

41. Name?

42. Uh... Fry.

43. I'm Leela. Now, it's New Year's Eve,

44. so I'd like to decide your fate quickly and get out of here.

45. Can I ask you a question?

46. As long as it's not about my eye.

47. Uh...

48. Is it about my eye?

49. Sort of.

50. Just ask the question.

51. What's with the eye?

52. I'm an alien, all right? Let's drop the subject.

53. Cool. An alien.

54. Has your race taken over the earth?

55. No. I just work here.

56. Wait a minute.

57. Is that blimp accurate?

58. Yup. It's December 31, 2999.

59. My God. A million years.

60. I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you.

61. You know, I guess it should be,

62. but actually I'm glad.

63. I had nothing to live for in my old life.

64. I was broke, I had a humiliating job

65. and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me.

66. Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity.

67. Now, strip naked and get on the probulator.

68. - Ooh!

69. Interesting.

70. Your DNA test shows one living relative.

71. He's your great-great- great-great-great-great-

72. great-great-great- great-great nephew.

73. That's great. What's the little guy's name?

74. Professor Hubert Farnsworth.

75. Ew.

76. You know, I'm the luckiest guy in the whole future.

77. I've been given a second chance

78. and this time, I'm not going to be a total loser.

79. What's that?

80. Your permanent career assignment.

81. Delivery boy?

82. No! Not again.

83. Please, anything else.

84. Take your hands off me.

85. You've been assigned the job you're best at

86. just like everyone else.

87. What if I refuse?

88. - Then you'll be fired. - Fine.

89. Out of a cannon into the sun.

90. But I don't like being a delivery boy.

91. Well, that's tough.

92. Lots of people don't like their jobs, but we do them anyway.

93. "you gotta do what you gotta do."

94. Now hold out your hand.

95. I'm going to implant your career chip.

96. It'll permanently label you as a delivery boy.

97. Keep that thing away from me!

98. Hold still, damn it!

99. I don't have good depth perception.

100. Aah!

101. You've got to the count of five to let me out of here.

102. One...

103. See you in a thousand years.

104. You owe me one.

105. Whoa.

106. Radio City Mutant Hall.

107. Cool.

108. Uh, Cross-Town Express.

109. Whoo-hoo!

110. Yaah...

111. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

112. Oomph!

113. Pfft. Tourist.

114. Hey, a phone booth.

115. I can call my nephew.

116. Whoa. A real-life robot.

117. Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?

118. Bite my shiny metal ass.

119. It doesn't look so shiny to me.

120. Shinier than yours, meat bag.

121. Listen, buddy, I'm in a hurry here.

122. Let's try for a twofer.

123. Please select mode of death:

124. "quick and painless" or "slow and horrible."

125. Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.

126. You have selected "slow and horrible."

127. Great choice.

128. Bring it on, baby!

129. Come on, come on! Kill me already!

130. By the way, my name's Bender.

131. Help! What's happening?

132. You are now dead.

133. Thank you for using Stop-and-Drop,

134. America's favorite suicide booth since 2008.

135. Lousy, stinking rip-off.

136. Well, I didn't have anything else planned for today.

137. Let's go get drunk.

138. two, three... Hey.

139. Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

140. Shut up, Terry.

141. This is unacceptable, Leela.

142. You must find this Mr. Fry and install his chip.

143. Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy.

144. I'd really rather not force it on him.

145. Well, that's your job whether you like it or not

146. and it's my job to make you do your job whether I like it or not,

147. which I do, very much.

148. Now, get to work!

149. Life is good.

150. Why would a robot need to drink?

151. I don't need to drink.

152. I can quit anytime I want.

153. So, they made you a delivery boy, huh?

154. Man, that's as bad as my job.

155. Really? What do you do, Bender?

156. I'm a bender. I bend girders.

157. That's all I'm programmed to do.

158. You any good at it?

159. You kidding? I was a stud.

160. I could bend a girder to any angle.

161. 30 degrees... 32 degrees... You name it.

162. 31...

163. But I couldn't go on living

164. once I found out what the girders were for.

165. - What? - Suicide booths.

166. Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you.

167. I'm going to go kill myself.

168. Wait. You're the only friend I have.

169. You really want a robot for a friend?

170. Yeah, ever since I was six.

171. Well, okay.

172. But I don't want people thinking we're robosexuals

173. so if anyone asks, you're my de-bugger.

174. Oh, no, it's the cyclopes.

175. - Don't look. Don't look! - I'm not looking.

176. This is officer 1-B-D-I requesting backup.

177. We'll be there in five minutes.

178. We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays.

179. Welcome to the Head Museum.

180. I'm Leonard Nimoy.

181. Spock?

182. Hey, do the thing.

183. I don't do that anymore.

184. This is unbelievable.

185. What do you heads do all day?

186. We share our wisdom with those who seek it.

187. It's a life of quiet dignity.

188. Feeding time.

189. Hmm...

190. I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip.

191. Yeah, well if you're sorry then why are you doing it?

192. It's my job.

193. You gotta do what you gotta do.

194. Watch it!

195. That's it. You just made my list.

196. Ow, ooh, ow, ow, ooh!

197. Stop it! Down boy! Bad president.

198. All right, buddy, step away from the head.

199. I'm going to get 24th Century on his ass.

200. Please, Officers, there's no need to use force.

201. Let us handle this, weirdie.

202. Oh, come on.

203. He's just a poor kid from the stupid ages.

204. Keep your big nose out of this, Eyeball.

205. No one makes fun of my nose.

206. Yee-aah!

207. Ooh!

208. Damn.

209. You guys were totally out of control.

210. That's our job. We're Peace Officers.

211. Yeah, you know the law:

212. You gotta do what you gotta do.

213. Oh, we're trapped!

214. Wait a second. You're a bender, right?

215. We can get out of here if you just bend the bars.

216. Dream on, skin tube.

217. I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes.

218. What do I look like? A de-bender?

219. Who cares what you're programmed for.

220. If someone programmed you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?

221. I'll have to check my program.

222. Yep.

223. Open up!

224. Come on, Bender. It's up to you to make your own decisions in life.

225. That's what separates people and robots from animals and animal robots.

226. You're full of crap, Fry.

227. You make a persuasive argument, Fry.

228. Come on, Bender. You can do it.

229. Can't... I can't do it.

230. Yes!

231. You were right, Fry.

232. From now on, I'm going to bend what I want

233. when I want, who I want.

234. I am unstoppable!

235. Ah.

236. I don't know how you did that.

237. Yee-aah!

238. - Wait! - No, thanks.

239. Looks like one of us will have to bend this grate.

240. Oh.

241. Good lord.

242. What is this?

243. It's the decaying ruins of old New York.

244. Welcome home, pal.

245. It's my old neighborhood.

246. Man, this brings back a lot of memories.

247. Keep 'em to yourself, pops.

248. This is where I brought my girlfriend on our very first date.

249. My God. She's gone.

250. Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone.

251. Wait. There's someone you know.

252. Oh... Can't you leave me alone?

253. I'm miserable enough already.

254. Look, I know it's not much consolation, but I understand how you feel.

255. No, you don't. I've got no home, no family.

256. No friends.

257. My whole world is gone.

258. You can't possibly understand what it feels like to be so alone.

259. I understand.

260. I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet.

261. My parents abandoned me here as a baby

262. and I don't even know what galaxy they were from.

263. I know how it feels to be alone.

264. Look, Leela I don't understand this world, but you obviously do.

265. So I give up.

266. If you really think I should be a delivery body, I'll do it.

267. Your chip.

268. - What are you doing? - Quitting.

269. - Why? - Because I've always wanted to.

270. I just never realized it until I met you.

271. What is the matter with you?

272. I just wanted to be part of the moment.

273. - Hey! He stole my ring. - Sorry.

274. Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring.

275. This calls for a drink.

276. I don't want to spoil the party, but we're all job deserters now.

277. We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go.

278. we're unemployed,

279. but we have a doddering old relative to mooch off of.

280. Hello. I'm Dick Clark's head.

281. Welcome to a special year 3000 edition of New Year's rockin' Eve.

282. - Who are you? - I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.

283. - I don't have an Uncle Fry. - You do now.

284. By God, I am your nephew.

285. This is absolutely incredible.

286. Can we have some money?

287. Oh, my, no.

288. Let me show you around.

289. That's my lab table and this is my work stool

290. and over there is my intergalactic spaceship

291. and here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.

292. Whoa. A real live spaceship.

293. I designed it myself.

294. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.

295. Attention, job deserters!

296. Come out with your hands up!

297. We have you partially surrounded.

298. No!

299. Get those bums.

300. Well, we're boned.

301. Can't we get away in the ship?

302. I suppose it is technically possible

303. though I am already in my pajamas.

304. I'll get us out of here.

305. Can anyone drive stick?

306. I can As long as I don't have to parallel park.

307. If they try to take off, give 'em an ass full of laser.

308. Prepare for liftoff. Ten...

309. - Nine!

310. Amania!

311. Seven!

312. Five!

313. Four.

314. Three.

315. Two.

316. One!

317. Blast off!

318. Happy New Year!

319. Fire. Fire!

320. I can't see nothin'.

321. Pretty, though.

322. W-wha... Hey, hey! Whoa!

323. - Phew. - Yeah!

324. So, I guess without jobs, we'll be fugitives forever.

325. Not necessarily.

326. Are you three any chance

327. interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?

328. New crew? Well, what happened to the old crew?

329. Oh, those poor sons of... But that's not important.

330. The important thing is, I need a new crew.

331. Anyone interested?

332. Yes. Yes!

333. That's exactly the job I've always wanted.

334. Thanks for the offer, Professor, but we don't have the proper career chips.

335. Oh, that won't be a problem.

336. As luck would have it, I saved the chips

337. from my previous crew.

338. This is awesome.

339. Are we going to fly through space

340. fighting monsters and teaching alien women to love?

341. If by that you mean transporting cargo, then yes.

342. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.

343. Cool. What's my job going to be?

344. You'll be responsible for ensuring that the cargo

345. reaches its destination.

346. So I'm going to be a delivery boy?

347. Exactly.

348. All right!

349. I'm a delivery boy!