Friends 8x7

Arden Myrin as Brenda • Sean Penn as Eric • James Michael Tyler as Gunther • Dale Raoul as Mrs. Verhoeven

Chandler hires a maid, whom Monica suspects is stealing her clothing. Eric has broken up with Ursula and is ready to date Phoebe, except for one problem: he can't look at her without seeing Ursula. Meanwhile, Ross tries to get Rachel an apartment in his building, but the woman living there isn't in a hurry to die, and Joey wants Rachel to stay with him.

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!req Friends 8x7 [Friends 8x7]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey.

2. Oh, my God! You cleaned. Look at these floors.

3. You did the windows!

4. I have been begging for months and you did... you cleaned!

5. - And nagging works! - You know, uh... I didn't actually do this.

6. Oh, no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again?

7. No, it wasn't you.

8. - Well, then, who? - I got a maid. Yay.

9. Oh, well, I hope by "maid," you mean "mistress,"

10. because if some other woman was here cleaning, then...

11. Now, honey... I know you don't like to relinquish control.

12. Oh, "relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."

13. Look, she's really nice, okay?

14. And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.

15. Did she really say that?

16. Yes. I distinctly remember 'cause I thought it was a joke.

17. - Now, just give her a chance, okay? - Fine. I can do it.

18. Whoo.

19. What's the matter?

20. Well, usually, when I'm this anxious, I clean.

21. Whose cell phone is that? It's just so annoying...

22. - everywhere you go. - I think it's coming from your bag.

23. I never get calls!

24. Hello?

25. Phoebe, hi, it's Eric... from the Halloween party. Ursula's fiancé.

26. Oh, my God. Eric, hi. Wait, how did you get this number?

27. I have a friend who's a cop, and he got it for me.

28. Wow, what an incredible violation and wonderful surprise.

29. Uh, listen, I just... I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.

30. Oh, you did? He did it. He did it.

31. - Wow! What did he do? - Shh, I'm talking.

32. Anyway, I was wondering

33. if you were the sort of person who eats lunch?

34. Are you asking me out?

35. Because it would be kind of weird since you just broke up with my sister.

36. Yeah, um, okay.

37. I'm... I'm sorry. Bye.

38. No, wait, I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person.

39. Fight for me.

40. Uh... I won't take no for an answer.

41. Not great, but we can work on it at lunch.

42. Okay, um, I can be at your apartment in two hours.

43. Great. Uh... how do you know where I live?

44. I've got friends, too.

45. - Okay, bye. - Bye.

46. Oh, my God. I'm going out with Eric.

47. Ooh, this day is really going to be so much

48. better than I thought it was going to be. Heh.

49. Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.

50. So, apparently, I'm available for lunch.

51. I can't, I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.

52. You're moving?

53. Yeah. I can't live with Joey once the baby comes.

54. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doin'?"

55. So, does Joey know you're moving?

56. Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's going to be relieved.

57. Last week he brought this girl over,

58. and I started talking to her about morning sickness,

59. and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.

60. - That's not really porn. - Not so much.

61. Hey, you know what? Wait, if you're looking for a place,

62. I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.

63. Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?

64. Well, I don't know, but how great would that be, huh?

65. You living in my building?

66. I could help take care of the baby. I could come over whenever I want.

67. With your permission.

68. - Wow, that really would be great. - Yeah.

69. Well, can we see it?

70. Oh, maybe we shouldn't. I mean, if she just died this morning, out of respect.

71. Yeah, no... no, you're right.

72. - Shall we? - Yeah.

73. - Yes? - Hi, I'm Ross Geller.

74. I live in the building.

75. And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.

76. I... I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away, and I am so sorry for your loss.

77. - She didn't pass away. - What?

78. - My mother's still alive. - Oh, thank God.

79. It looked like we were going to lose her this morning,

80. - but she's a tough old bird. Aww. Oh, yeah.

81. Are you close with her?

82. Of course. Heh.

83. Uh, yeah, she and I would talk all the time

84. in the laundry room.

85. You speak Dutch?

86. Zeer veererd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontomoeten.

87. You know, I would, but it's just too painful.

88. So, she's really not dead?

89. - No. She's hanging in there. - Mmm...

90. Do you think you... could you tell me, is she hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?

91. Mrs. Bing... this tile cleaner is incredible. Where did you get it?

92. Oh, well, um... I make it myself.

93. It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. The secret ingredient is...

94. you know what? We just met.

95. Okay, uh, I'm going to get the clothes from the laundry room now,

96. and when I come back, I'll clean behind the refrigerator.

97. I love her.

98. I'll be back in a minute.

99. Okay.

100. - See? I told you. - She stole my jeans.

101. What?

102. I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them.

103. So, she stole your pants,

104. and then she came back and wore them in front of you?

105. Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.

106. She must have been planning this for years.

107. I will prove it to you, okay?

108. About a week ago, I was wearing those jeans,

109. and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch.

110. Now, when she comes back, I will find it and show you that stain.

111. Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans

112. made more than just the one pair?

113. I guess.

114. So, shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go

115. snooping around her crotch?

116. Fine, I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.

117. Heh. Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?

118. Yeah... ha-ha-ha.

119. - Hi. - Come in. I'm so glad you're here.

120. Yeah, me, too.

121. Not in the shaky, angry way that you are, though.

122. Sorry, I just saw Ursula.

123. - I had to get the engagement ring back. - Oh.

124. Just seeing her brought it all back.

125. All the lies... the way she used me.

126. I just... I get so angry, just looking at her...

127. - face. - Yeah, yeah.

128. I'm sorry, it's just, when I look at you,

129. I see her.

130. And when I see her, I get a little bit angry.

131. - Maybe this is too weird. - No, wait.

132. There's only a problem

133. when I look at you.

134. I got it. I got it.

135. No, don't tear out your eyes!

136. - I was just going to take out my lenses. - Oh, yeah, try that.

137. So, is that better?

138. Not really.

139. You... ugh. You're blurry,

140. but you still look like Ursula. You're "Blursula."

141. Okay, wait. Maybe...

142. if I, if I just don't look at you for a while.

143. See? It works. I'm not angry at all anymore.

144. This is a great date.

145. Look, Eric, turn around.

146. Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard, you know? This is our first date.

147. You know, first dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity,

148. and "Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand?"

149. And, you know, first kisses, and...

150. second kisses.

151. Thanks for the coffee, or, uh... ahem,

152. bedankt voor de koffie, Gunther.

153. Yeah, we're done.

154. Aisel.

155. "Aisel"? Aisel... aisel...

156. Hey, Ross, listen,

157. you want to go see that new IMAX movie on tide pools?

158. - Really? - No, ha, ha.

159. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler, huh?

160. - Sweet. - All right, finish your coffee. Let's go.

161. Okay, I just have to stop by my place first.

162. To tape the game? You do this every time, Ross. You're not going to be on TV.

163. No, no, I have to see if this apartment became available.

164. - You're switching apartments? - It's not for me, it's for Rachel.

165. - Rachel has an apartment. - But when the baby comes,

166. she's going to want to move.

167. - She is? - Yeah.

168. You didn't expect her to live there with a baby, did you?

169. I guess I didn't really think about it.

170. Aisel.

171. Hey, Gunther, you're an aisel. Huh.

172. And I have...

173. Damn it.

174. - Nice jeans. - Oh, thanks.

175. - I like your top. - Oh. You're not getting it.

176. - What happened? - Oh, I fell asleep.

177. I was thinking about taking my lunch break.

178. Will you do the top of the cabinets?

179. That would really work up your appetite for lunch.

180. All right.

181. Hello.

182. What's going on?

183. I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before. Is this not okay?

184. - Hey. - Hey.

185. - How was the game? - Uh, it was okay. I... I ate way too much.

186. - Oh. - Ooh.

187. So, um, I was talking to Ross and he said that you're looking for a new place?

188. Oh, yeah. Hopefully, across the street, if certain Dutch people would just let go.

189. I was kind of hoping you'd stay.

190. But, Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.

191. No room? It's a baby. It's, like, this big.

192. You know, I, uh, y-y-you could... you could put it over here...

193. or... or... or we could put it right here. Aw, it's cute, right?

194. Or... or we could put it over here. You wouldn't even notice it.

195. "Where's the baby?" "Oh, it's right over..."

196. Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it.

197. I mean, a baby changes everything. They cry all the time.

198. I mean, imagine bringing home some girl,

199. and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.

200. I could use a challenge. It's getting pretty easy.

201. Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I... I can't do that to you.

202. I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.

203. It's just... I...

204. I love living with you so much. You know, it's just...

205. - I wish things didn't have to change. - I know.

206. You know, I blame Ross for this.

207. - I do, too, a little bit. - Yeah.

208. I'm going to miss you.

209. You're the hottest roommate I ever had.

210. Mm. Oh...

211. Ooh. Oh, no, I... I have to go. Oh, I have a massage appointment.

212. Oh, no, stay here. We'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.

213. No, I've gotten in trouble for that before.

214. - I'll see you later? - Absolutely.

215. Okay.

216. I love the way you kiss.

217. Really? That's the thing I'm worst at.

218. Heh, you'll see.

219. - Hey. - Hey, um,

220. - I think Brenda needs a raise. - How come?

221. Because I put my head between her legs.

222. - Were you... to see her pants? - They're my pants.

223. Are you sure? Did you see the stain?

224. No. I was just getting into position, and, then, everything went dark.

225. Look, oh, my God, she is not stealing from us, okay? Will you let this go?

226. Fine.

227. - She's wearing my bra! - Oh, dear God.

228. My pink flowered bra. I recognize the strap.

229. And yet, you don't recognize that you're crazy?

230. Here's the plan, okay?

231. I'm going to leave, and you're going to get a look at Brenda's bra.

232. Here's another plan. No.

233. I would do it, but she thinks I'm attracted to her.

234. - Why? - Did you not hear where my head was?

235. Come on, come on, we're a team. We're in this together.

236. I fear a jury will see it the same way.

237. Do this for me? Come on, I catch you looking at women's breasts all the time.

238. You see that?

239. Do you see this? Unh...

240. All right, yes, okay, I get your point.

241. But if it's not her bra, will you just let the woman clean the apartment?

242. Yes, absolutely, okay?

243. Now, look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacy part,

244. there's a very noticeable rip.

245. You need new clothes.

246. - Hi. How is she? - It's not looking good.

247. Oh? Oh... aw. Yeah...

248. Well, I, uh... brought her some... bloemen.

249. - That's so sweet. - Oh.

250. Would you like to come in and say good-bye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.

251. Oh, I don't know that it would. Heh.

252. - Well, her memory is pretty much gone. - All right, then.

253. - Hey. - Welcome back.

254. - Shall we pick up from where we left off? - Oh, I don't know.

255. I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon.

256. - Why? - Uh, the sex.

257. - What sex? - Our sex.

258. We didn't have sex.

259. Well, if I didn't have sex with you,

260. I had sex with somebody that looked an awful lot like...

261. - Ew. Ew. Ew, ew, ew! Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no!

262. - You... you... you had sex with Ursula? - A... A little bit.

263. Sh-Sh... when she walked in, I thought she was you and I kissed her and...

264. You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes?

265. - Well, I was just so excited to see you. - Aw.

266. Ew, ew, ew!

267. Ugh! You know what? This is too weird.

268. No, no, it's not. I don't want to lose you. It's... it's like I was saying to Ursula,

269. when I was making love to her and I thought she was you...

270. No, it's too weird.

271. So, I guess this is it.

272. Yeah.

273. Well... maybe it's for the best.

274. - You smell just like her. - Yeah, so do you.

275. - What are you doing? - I'm leaning.

276. This is where I lean.

277. Okay.

278. - Brenda, a bee! - What?

279. Yes, it's flown into your blouse,

280. and you better undo your buttons lest it sting you.

281. - I think I know what's going on here. - You do?

282. Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian...

283. but it's wrong. You're married.

284. - I totally understand. - Okay, good. Ha-ha-ha.

285. Could I just see your bra?

286. - Hey. - Hi.

287. - Where did you get those jeans? - You gave them to me.

288. - No, I didn't. - All right, I took them.

289. I figured it would be okay, because you've got a big ink stain on the crotch.

290. - Oh, no. Did you take my bra, too? - What bra?

291. - The pink one with the flowers. - You mean the one that you're wearing?

292. I quit.

293. Sounds about right.

294. - What is this? - Hey.

295. Uh, this is just to give you an idea.

296. We can put screens here so that the baby has privacy.

297. And maybe a mobile, you know, over the crib.

298. And, uh... oh, look, here's a baby monitor which, until the baby comes,

299. we can use as walkie-talkies. Eh? Right?

300. Oh, you're so sweet.

301. Oh, my God, and you gave the baby Hugsie!

302. Uh...

303. that... that's really just to show where the baby would go.

304. You know, why don't I hold on to him so there's no confusion?

305. But, Joey, the baby is going to be crying. It's going to be loud.

306. - I'm loud. - It's going to be up all night.

307. - I'm up all night. - It's going to poop.

308. Hello?

309. What about all the women you want to bring home?

310. Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby,

311. then maybe I don't want to be with that woman.

312. Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club.

313. - Joey, are you sure? - Yeah.

314. Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay?

315. But... it'll also be really... really great.

316. Please, Rachel, I really want you to stay.

317. - I want me to stay, too. - Oh...

318. Thank you.

319. Joey, and look at this crib. It's so cute.

320. I know, I found it on the street.

321. Are you...? Really?

322. - It's in such good condition. - Yeah.

323. Wow. Whoa, whoa, what's under the cover?

324. - I don't know. - It's moving.

325. - Oh... - It's still...

326. - Oh, it's got a tail! Get it out of here! - Oh, aah! Okay!

327. - Get it out of here!

328. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

329. Well... the old lady died. And how do I know?

330. Because her dying wish was for one last kiss.

331. But I don't care because you got the apartment. Yes!

332. Ooh, yeah.

333. Um... I think I'm going to stay here.

334. Isn't that great?

335. Wha...? You... but you...

336. aisels!