1. - Are you excited about our honeymoon?
- Yeah, I am.
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2. Bermuda, Bahama
Come on, pretty mama
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3. Get it out of your system
while we're alone.
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4. - We came to say goodbye.
- Have a great honeymoon.
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5. - Thanks.
- I'll go pack.
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6. I already packed. The only thing
I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.
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7. Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo.
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8. I'm gonna go pack
my regular, long bathing suit.
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9. Good, you're still here. I wanted
to tell you to have a good honeymoon.
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10. Oh, thank you.
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11. And I wanted you guys to know
that I am telling the father today.
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12. What? What? What?
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13. - We know it's Ross.
- How? How do you know?
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14. It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!
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15. I so wanted Ross to know first.
But I'm so relieved that you guys know.
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16. - That's so great. I'll be your baby's aunt!
- I know.
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17. - Me too!
- I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.
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18. - You'll all be aunts and uncles.
- But I'm the only one related by blood.
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19. Okay, great. Now that you all know,
you can give me advice on how to tell Ross.
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20. What were you gonna say?
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21. That I'm gonna have the baby,
and he can be as involved as he wants.
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22. Well, that sounds good.
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23. Yeah, but how do I start?
What's the first thing that I say?
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24. - Okay, great. Thanks.
- Hey, good luck.
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25. Yeah, bye.
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26. What was that all about?
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27. Well, I guess no harm in telling you now.
Rachel and Ross are having a baby.
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28. [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] What? I didn't
even know! Why didn't you tell me?
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29. Why am I talking like this?
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30. I didn't think
you could keep it a secret.
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31. What? I'm an excellent
secret-keeper. I've kept all our secrets.
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32. - What secrets?
- No, no, Joey.
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33. I'm not gonna tell you because
I am an excellent secret-keeper.
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34. - Psst. You'll tell me later?
- You already know.
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35. It's so romantic to send people off
on their honeymoon.
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36. You know, Monica and Chandler are married.
Ross and Rachel are having a baby.
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37. - Maybe you and I should do something.
- All in good time, my love. All in good time.
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38. Oh, shoot. I left my guitar in their apartment.
You can let me in later, right?
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39. No, I don't have a key.
They took mine to give to you.
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40. - What? They took mine to give to you.
- Why would they take away our keys?
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41. Maybe they don't trust us.
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42. They let me keep my key
the last time they were out of town.
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43. You mean the time
you broke the ketchup bottle...
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44. and cleaned it up
with Monica's guest towels?
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45. - I washed those.
- No, you didn't.
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46. Yeah, that didn't sound like me.
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47. - What am I gonna do? I really need my guitar.
- I have stuff in there too.
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48. - What stuff?
- Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of this.
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49. Mr. Treeger? It's Joey Tribbiani.
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50. I need to get into Monica
and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency.
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51. Uh... Uh... Gas leak.
Oh, and bring garlic bread.
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52. - Hey.
- Hey.
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53. - Did Rachel find you?
- No, why?
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54. - She was looking for you.
- Well, I guess I'll catch up with her later.
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55. - She really wanted to talk to you now.
- Yeah, it seemed pretty important.
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56. - Oh, no.
What?
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57. I think I might know
what this is about.
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58. Really?
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59. Yeah. We promised we weren't
gonna tell anybody this...
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60. but a month ago,
Rachel and I slept together.
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61. And?
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62. - Wow, I thought you'd be more shocked.
- Oh, sorry. And?
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63. Well, we said we'd just
do it that one time...
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64. but now I think she may
wanna start things up again.
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65. Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.
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66. - Why? What else could it be?
- Oh, wow, I don't feel well.
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67. I'm telling you, I'm telling you,
that's what it is.
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68. No wonder she was looking
at me all funny during the wedding.
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69. She didn't say anything to you?
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70. - Maybe it's something you ate.
- It could've been...
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71. - Please, just go and talk to Rachel.
- Yeah, I guess I should.
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72. Man, you know what I have to realize?
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73. Maybe I'm not the type of guy
women can have just one night with.
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74. They always seem to want
a little bit more.
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75. I should remember that.
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76. Next.
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77. - They're kissing. Let's go around them.
- Leave them alone. They're in love.
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78. I'm in love too.
But in an orderly fashion.
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79. - Next.
- Hi. Can you do that and walk?
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80. Because she said, "Next."
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81. Sorry, we didn't hear you.
We're on our honeymoon.
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82. Aw. Let me see what I can do.
There are some first-class seats available.
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83. They bumped them up to first class
because they're on their honeymoon.
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84. Let's act like we're on our honeymoon.
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85. We are on our honeymoon.
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86. - Grab my ass.
- Next.
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87. Sorry, I almost didn't hear you because
I'm so in love with my new husband.
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88. - We're on our honeymoon.
- Congratulations.
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89. Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J,
and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.
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90. We're on our honeymoon, so can you do
your little thing, bump us up to first class?
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91. I'm sorry, all the first-class seats are taken.
That couple got the last two.
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92. If we'd gone around them like I said,
she'd have given us those tickets. Damn it.
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93. 25J and K, any chance
those aren't together?
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94. I still can't believe they took away my key.
You trust me with yours.
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95. Of course I do.
And I'll give it back to you...
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96. as soon as they're done with it
at the key-shining place.
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97. What the hell is that?
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98. - Whoa, whoa. Treeger, what are you doing?
- You said there was a gas leak in here.
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99. - Why don't you use your key?
- I won't find it before the place explodes.
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100. If that happens at another building
I manage, people will start asking questions.
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101. Come on, hurry up.
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102. Oh!
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103. We could have done that.
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104. Look at that. They're going into
the first-class lounge.
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105. - Do you know what they have in there?
- No.
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106. Me neither. We have to get in!
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107. - Just act like you belong.
- Oh, my God! Oranges!
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108. Shh!
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109. - Nice to see you again.
- Sir, may I see your tickets, please?
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110. Yes, of course.
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111. Would you move your thumb.
I can't see the seat number.
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112. That's all right.
I have it memorized. It's 1A.
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113. - Sir, this isn't a first-class ticket. I'm sorry.
- Apology accepted. Excuse us.
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114. Sir, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.
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115. Fine.
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116. Go, go, go!
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117. - Hi.
- Hi.
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118. Hi.
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119. I think there's something that
we really need to talk about.
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120. I think we do.
Why don't we go inside.
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121. - Hi.
- Hi.
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122. - Look, I know why you're here.
- You do?
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123. Yeah, and to save you from any
embarrassment, I think I should talk first.
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124. - Okay.
- Okay.
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125. Here.
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126. Ross and Rachel.
Rachel and Ross. Heh.
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127. It's been one heck of a seesaw,
hasn't it?
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128. What?
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129. I mean, look, that one night we had
was fun and certainly passionate.
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130. But don't you think it's better
if we just stay friends?
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131. Seriously, what?
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132. Okay, okay. You know what?
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133. If you want to,
we can do it one more time.
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134. I'd be okay with that.
In fact, I have some time right now.
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135. - You know what? Ahem. Can I talk now?
- Oh, sure.
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136. I'm pregnant.
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137. Ross?
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138. Okay, whenever you're ready.
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139. And you're the father, by the way.
But you're good.
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140. - Can I get you some water?
- I'm good, I'm good.
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141. Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay?
You can be as involved as you want.
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142. Yeah, I, uh... I'm just, I don't know.
I don't understand...
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143. how this happened.
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144. - We used a condom.
- I know.
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145. But you know, condoms only work,
like, 97 percent of the time.
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146. What? What?
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147. What?
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148. Well, they should put that on the box!
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149. - They do.
- No, they don't!
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150. Well, they should put it
in huge block letters!
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151. - Let's just forget about the condoms.
- Well, I may as well have!
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152. - Listen, I was really freaked out too when...
- Freaked out? No, I'm not freaked out.
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153. I'm indignant as a consumer!
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154. - You know what? Let's talk later.
- No. No, I wanna talk now.
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155. In fact, I wanna talk to
the president of the condom company.
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156. - Okay, maybe I should come back...
- Shh!
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157. Yeah, I'll press one!
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158. - I looked everywhere. There's no gas leak.
- So now I can heat this up?
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159. Anyway, I'll get moving on that new door.
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160. Great. And could you do us a favor and
not tell Chandler and Monica about this?
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161. Because, you know,
they don't have any kids of their own...
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162. and this door was
like a child to them.
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163. I have to put on a new lock.
They'll find out anyway.
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164. Oh, no.
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165. This looks like an all-day job.
I'll have to cancel my yoga class.
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166. - Hey, Ross.
- Hey.
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167. Could you tell Jasmine
I can't make it to yoga?
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168. Sure.
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169. - My God. What happened to the door?
- So it's noticeable, huh?
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170. - Is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
- Didn't you two already talk?
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171. Yeah, but...
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172. Okay, look. You guys know Rachel and I slept
together, but there's something else.
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173. Rachel's pregnant.
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174. - Holy mother of God!
- Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
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175. - With my child.
- That is brand-new information!
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176. - You already know, don't you?
- A little bit.
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177. - How you doing?
- Okay. Okay. I mean, I'll be okay.
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178. It's just I don't think
I handled it very well.
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179. - What did you say to her?
- Nothing.
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180. But the complaint department
at the condom company got an earful.
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181. Then when I turned around,
she was gone.
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182. Oh, Ross.
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183. But in my defense, I found out
that condoms are only 97 percent effective.
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184. - What?
- I gotta go find her.
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185. Hold on! Are you serious? So, like,
3 percent of the time they don't even work?
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186. Huh? They should put that on the box!
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187. - Evidently, they do.
- What?
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188. - I can't believe we're here.
- You've gotta be kidding.
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189. What?
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190. As a wedding gift to you, the hotel would
like to give you the Honeymoon Suite.
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191. No! You have been screwing us all day!
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192. - Who are you?
- We're you. Just 10 seconds later!
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193. You already got the first-class tickets,
the lounge. We should get free stuff too!
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194. You're not the only ones
on your honeymoon!
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195. You can have the suite, if you want.
We don't care about where we stay.
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196. We're here to celebrate our love for
each other. We don't have to get free stuff.
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197. We just want to be together.
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198. We need the stuff.
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199. Hey, Monica, it's Joey. Phoebe and I
smell gas coming from your apartment.
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200. - Are you serious? Joey smells gas.
- What else is new?
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201. - We'd check it out, but you took our keys.
- Do something. Get in there!
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202. - How? I guess I could break down your door.
- Yeah, do that.
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203. - You won't blame us for any damage?
- No.
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204. - Are you doing it? I can't hear anything.
- Okay, I'll break it down.
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205. He's doing it,
he's breaking down the door.
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206. Okay, we're in.
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207. - Rachel, are you comfortable?
- If I said I was, would you judge me?
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208. The doctor will be here soon
to do your sonogram.
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209. Okay.
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210. Oh, man, I swear, if they sold
these at Pottery Barn...
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211. - Hi.
- Hi.
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212. We need to talk.
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213. Right now? I kind of got an alfresco
situation going on over here.
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214. Please. Please, I want to apologize
for the way I acted earlier today.
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215. - That's fine. Can you stay up near my head?
- Yeah, sorry.
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216. I went crazy. I was thinking about myself
when I should've been thinking about you.
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217. - Head, Ross. Head, Ross. Head, Ross.
- Right.
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218. I want you to know that I'll be
there through this whole thing. Okay?
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219. The doctor's appointments, Lamaze classes,
baby-proofing the apartment.
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220. - We can do that after we get married.
- Married?
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221. Yeah, we should get married.
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222. Because that's your answer
to everything?
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223. No, because that's the right thing to do.
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224. Yeah, maybe, if you're in love.
But, Ross, we are not in love, are we?
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225. No, but still, I mean,
you can't possibly do this alone.
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226. Excuse me?
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227. Come on, you can't even eat alone
in a restaurant.
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228. - What?
- I'm saying if you can't eat by yourself...
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229. how can you have a baby by yourself?
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230. - I can too eat by myself.
- When have you ever?
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231. When certain people leave the table
and I am not finished!
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232. Well, certain other people take two hours
to eat a bowl of soup.
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233. Please, you inhale your food.
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234. I grew up with Monica. If you
didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
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235. Am I interrupting?
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236. No, Dr. Long, please come in.
This is Ross, he's the father.
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237. But not the husband,
because she can do this alone.
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238. Nice to meet you.
I'll get started on this.
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239. - Why can't you admit you need me?
- I need you. I need you to stay near my head!
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240. Okay. Everything looks good.
Here it is on the screen.
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241. There's your uterus...
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242. and right here is your baby.
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243. Oh, my God.
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244. Wow.
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245. There it is, I see it.
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246. Congratulations.
I'll give you two a minute.
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247. Thank you.
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248. Pretty amazing, huh?
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249. I don't see it!
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250. - What? What?
- I can't see it.
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251. - You just said that you did.
- I know, I lied.
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252. I didn't want her to think I was a terrible
mother. I can't even see my own baby.
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253. Come here. Sure you can.
Come here. Look, it's right there.
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254. Oh.
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255. Oh, it's beautiful.
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256. I see it now.
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257. - Do you really?
- No, I don't see it!
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258. Okay, come on. Come on.
All right. Okay. Okay.
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259. You see this tiny thing
that looks like a peanut?
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260. Yeah.
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261. Sweetie, that's it.
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262. That's it? Well, I saw that.
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263. Oh.
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264. - Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
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265. Wow, I can't believe that's our baby.
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266. Yeah, that's our baby.
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267. - Hi.
- Hey.
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268. - So how was the doctor?
- Everything went great.
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269. - Good.
- Hey, show them the picture of your uterus.
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270. Aw.
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271. I don't see the baby. Where is it?
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272. I know, I couldn't see it either
at first. But it's right, um...
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273. Ross, I lost it again.
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