Friends 8x23

Directed by Kevin S. Bright

Sarah Rush as Nurse #3 • Tim DeKay as Marc • Maurice Godin as Sid • Eddie McClintock as Cliff Burnett • Debi Mazar as Evil Bitch

Ross and Rachel go to the hospital to have their baby, but it's a long labor. They get stuck in a semi-private room, and many other couples come and go before Rachel is ready to deliver - the last couple being Janice and her new husband. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica decide to start trying to have a baby, but can't find an empty hospital room where they wouldn't be disturbed. Also, Phoebe meets a handsome stranger and "recruits" Dr. Drake Ramoray to gather some personal information about him. After Rachel gives birth to her little baby girl, she must confront relationship issues around her. So does Ross, who gets an engagement ring from his mother, while she urges him to propose to Rachel. The things, however, take an interesting turn.

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!req Friends 8x23 [02:32]
!req Friends 8x23 [Friends 8x23]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - Ross... - All right!

2. Yes! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!

3. Yes, the hard part is truly over.

4. No, but come on, we're off to a great start, aren't we?

5. I knew I'd get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!

6. - Oh, you made it. - Hi.

7. Wait, how... how the hell did you beat us here?

8. We took a cab. Did you guys walk?

9. No... no, we took a cab, too, but I... I did test runs.

10. - Hi. - Hey, you made it.

11. Okay, is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?

12. Ross, you stay here and talk; I'm going to go have a baby.

13. Okay, okay. Um, hi, hi, this is Rachel Green.

14. I'm Ross Geller. We... we called from the car.

15. Right. We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you, so...

16. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry, semi-private?

17. We... we, uh, we asked for a private room.

18. Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately, we can't guarantee a private room,

19. - and currently, they're all unavailable. - Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner.

20. I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.

21. Okay, uh, just give us a second. Ross?

22. Yeah?

23. - Give her some money. - I really think they're out of rooms.

24. They're not, Ross, they're just saving them for important people, okay?

25. What... what if I was the President?

26. Well, then we'd be in a lot of trouble. You don't know where any countries are.

27. Okay.

28. Let's say, would you, um, would you mind checking again?

29. See if any, uh, private rooms may have opened up.

30. This is a hospital.

31. Okay, you know what, I have to say I don't really care for your tone,

32. and this is not the only hospital in the city, and

33. we have no problem to... whoa. Oh, gosh, whoa.

34. - What, what? - Oh, ow, contraction. Ow! Ow!

35. - Oh. - Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ooh, ooh.

36. Would you like to see a semi-private room?

37. Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.

38. Well, you're only two centimeters dilated, and we need to get to ten.

39. - It will be a while. - Uh, okay.

40. I'll be back in an hour to check on you again.

41. Okay, thank you.

42. - Well, I guess we have some time to kill. - Yeah. Guess so.

43. - Ooh, check these out. - Oh...

44. Never done this before.

45. Yeah, well, it looks great.

46. Thank you very much. I think we're ready to...

47. Hi, I'm, uh, I'm Ross. I'm... I'm here to ruin this magical day for you.

48. - Oh, no, no. Not at all. - Don't worry about it.

49. Marc Horger. This is my wife, Julie.

50. - Hi. - Hi, Julie. Hi. This is Rachel.

51. Oh, hi, Rachel.

52. - Is this your first? - Yeah, it is.

53. - Well, little Jamie here is our third. - Wow.

54. So... if you have any questions, or you need anything at all, just holler.

55. - That's so sweet. - Yeah.

56. Ooh... that's nice.

57. Um, say, I... I opened this earlier, but let me give you guys some privacy.

58. No, nonsense, we're all in this together.

59. Yeah. We are going to share every moment of this with you,

60. - and I think we're going to have some fun. - Yeah.

61. - O-Oh, okay, I... I guess. - Hey, smile!

62. - No. - Oh, no, I really don't want any...

63. Oh! Thank you.

64. - Oh, Ross... - What?

65. Here comes another contraction.

66. - Ooh, ooh, ooh... - Oh. Okay, just breathe.

67. - Oh, honey, I think I'm having one, too. - Oh, my God!

68. - Ow, ow, ow, ow... - Ooh, ooh, ooh...

69. - Hey, look at this. Here you go! - Oh, no...

70. Ow, ow...

71. Oh, wow, three hours and still no baby.

72. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze-fest.

73. - Hey, you want to see something? - Sure. What?

74. Okay, um... this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler.

75. - Honey? - Yeah?

76. Listen, uh... I... I've been doing some thinking,

77. and I don't know whether it's because we're here,

78. or... Rachel's giving birth,

79. but, um... I think we should try to have a baby.

80. Okay.

81. W-What's that, now?

82. Okay. I've been thinking about it, too, and I... I think we're ready.

83. Wha...?

84. Are you kidding me? You... you think we're ready to have a baby now?

85. Oh, this is fun.

86. You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up!

87. You said you were ready, too.

88. Yeah, but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird

89. like mine is now.

90. Yes, but haven't you wanted a kid, like, forever?

91. Okay, just back off, mister.

92. 'Cause I am ready to have a baby.

93. I just want Joey to be the father.

94. What? Are you crazy?

95. That's it, right there. That's all I wanted!

96. I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.

97. Oh, that's very, really, very, very okay.

98. Julie's cervix is dilated seven centimeters.

99. That's about four fingers.

100. - Doctor let me feel it myself. - Have you felt Rachel's cervix, Ross?

101. - No, I don't... - No, we won't be doing that.

102. No, we're not going to do that.

103. Well, if you like, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare.

104. - Am I interrupting? - Uh, yes, thank you.

105. - Oh... no, no... - Uh, later.

106. No, you can't leave me alone with these people.

107. Oh, uh, I'm sorry.

108. No, Ross, Ross, Ross... my child has no father.

109. Hi. Oh, mmm... I'm so glad you're here, but it's

110. going to be a while. I wish you'd called first.

111. Oh, that's all right, I'm coming back

112. - later with your father. - Oh, good.

113. I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.

114. Okay, what's up?

115. I brought something that I want to give you.

116. Assuming, of course, that you want it.

117. Ma, you're asking me to marry you?

118. This is your grandmother's engagement ring.

119. I want you to give it to Rachel.

120. - Mom, no. Come on. Thank you... - Just hear me out.

121. No... no, okay? We've been through this. We're not going

122. to get married just because she's pregnant, okay?

123. Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and... humped.

124. A child should have a family.

125. Ma, you know what, I... I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry...

126. Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.

127. Give me that.

128. - Hi, dear. - Oh, hi. Oh, thank you so much for coming.

129. Ross, get in here.

130. She came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel.

131. Yeah.

132. - Why aren't you with Rachel? - Are you kidding?

133. Well, look, we're not going to be together just because we're having a baby, okay?

134. But, you know, it just seems that you two belong together.

135. Okay, stop it. I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.

136. Right. And with who again?

137. My, God... he's crazy. Why doesn't he want to be with Rachel?

138. I know.

139. Seriously. She's, like, the perfect woman. I mean, I know she turned me down,

140. but, if she hadn't, and she wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and...

141. I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while, have I?

142. - Hey. - Hey.

143. - Who's that? - New people.

144. What happened to the Disgustingtons?

145. They're having their baby. It's not fair, Ross... I got here first.

146. Right after you left, they wheeled her off into delivery.

147. Oh, but not before she gave me a nice, juicy

148. shot of little Jamie, just crowning away.

149. - Wow. Sorry. - Ugh.

150. So, uh, how are the new people?

151. Well, they have, uh, some unusual pet names for each other,

152. including, um..."Evil Bitch" and, uh..."Sick Bastard."

153. - Oh, gosh, oh, contraction. Ooh... ow... - Yeah? Okay, okay, just breathe.

154. - Are you looking at her? - No!

155. Don't you look at her, you sick bastard.

156. Honey, I swear, I wasn't looking at her.

157. She's in labor. You like that, you sick son of a bitch?

158. Uh, I'm just going to...

159. See, see, it's because you were looking, you fat pervert.

160. No, no, I'm... I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy.

161. You miss your girlfriend?

162. - Just ignore them. - Ugh.

163. - Okay? Here. You okay? - Yep.

164. - Ross, Ross. - What? What?

165. - He's looking at me. - Who...? Hey!

166. You want to live to see your baby?

167. Don't you talk to my husband like that, you stupid bastard.

168. Oh, good God! If you want a baby so bad, just go steal it.

169. What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?

170. I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us.

171. What?

172. We've always talked about having babies someday.

173. I'm not saying it has to be right now,

174. but I'm... starting to think that we can handle it. We're good.

175. We're really good.

176. We are pretty good.

177. But nothing has to happen until you're ready.

178. Well, maybe I'm ready now.

179. I mean, it's a little scary, but it... maybe it's right.

180. What? It's not right. We're not ready to have a kid now!

181. - What? - I'm kidding. This is going to be fun.

182. So, we're going to try? I mean, we're trying?

183. We're trying to get pregnant.

184. Mm.

185. You know what? I'm not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies.

186. - So, when do you want to start tryin'? - All right, hold on a sec.

187. - Period math? - Yeah.

188. Well, we could start trying... now.

189. - Right here? - No, not here.

190. Maybe here.

191. Wait a minute. It's perfect. We've got a lot of time to kill,

192. and we're in a building that's full of beds.

193. And it's so clean.

194. Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!

195. - Oh, it ate your money? - No.

196. - All right, I'll see you downstairs, then. - All right.

197. All right.

198. Hey, I got one! I got one!

199. - Hi. - Hi.

200. - Oh, up or down? - Oh, uh, down, please.

201. I... I hate to be a ball-buster, but can I just do it?

202. All right. There.

203. - Could you press "up," too? - Sure.

204. I feel so bad for you. I broke my leg once, too.

205. Yeah? How'd yours happen?

206. Well, it's a long story. It's kind of embarrassing.

207. Let's just say, there was a typographical error with a sex manual.

208. - How about you? - Car accident.

209. Oh, let me guess. Some idiot on a cell phone

210. - wasn't paying attention? - Yeah, me.

211. - Uh, hey, that's me. - Okay.

212. Hey, uh, I take it you're just visiting someone.

213. Uh-huh. Yeah.

214. Well, um, if you have some time...

215. and maybe you might want to visit someone else...

216. Oh, yeah, I... I would like that.

217. - Great. I'm in room... - Wait! What? No! Elevator! Don't go!

218. Uh, you g-got to press the button.

219. The nurse said they're bringing in another woman.

220. Ugh. Is she pregnant yet?

221. She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do.

222. - Oh, Ross, here's another contraction. - Uh, okay, here... here.

223. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Ow, ow, ow! Ooh! Ow!

224. That's it, that's it.

225. - Oh, that sounded like a bad one. - Yeah, it was.

226. Mine haven't been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now.

227. Mmm...

228. Whoa. That was a big one.

229. Excuse me. Could you help me with something?

230. The patient I'm looking for has a broken leg,

231. and he's in a wheelchair, and, um,

232. he's like, early to mid-30's, very attractive.

233. I think I know who you're talking about.

234. Oh, yay! Great. Okay, what room number is he in?

235. I'm sorry. That information is restricted to hospital staff.

236. - Uh, she's with me... Dr. Drake Ramoray. - Dr. Drake who?

237. Ramoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information. I'm a doctor.

238. A doctor at this hospital?

239. Damn it, woman! We're losing precious time.

240. Now, do you want this man's blood on your head?

241. - Hands. - Hands?

242. It is absolutely essential that you tell me what

243. room the man my assistant described is staying in.

244. He's a patient of mine. I've been treating him for years.

245. - He's in room 816. - 816. Thank you. - Thank you.

246. - And what is his name? - No.

247. - I think we found the place. - Okay.

248. Mmm.

249. Wait. Don't we want to set the mood a little?

250. Oh, uh, okay.

251. - We'll dim the lights, dim the lights. - Okay.

252. Or turn them out altogether.

253. Uh, no scented candles. Okay, here. Here. There we go.

254. Uh, okay, okay. Making me sterile, but okay.

255. - Mmm. - Mmm.

256. Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. Do we have a condom?

257. Oh, right. Ha, ha.

258. Yes, 98.6. You're going to be fine.

259. Ooh, this is it!

260. - That's him, that's him! - Great. Well, go get him.

261. Wait a second. Or maybe you could go in first.

262. He's not really my type.

263. No, not you... Dr. Drake Ramoray.

264. You could ask him questions and see what he's like.

265. - People tell doctors everything. - But you said he was this great guy.

266. But, lately, all the guys I meet seem really nice at first,

267. and then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.

268. - Well, you do attract some stinkers. - I know.

269. Dr. Long, I've been at this for seventeen hours.

270. Three women have come and gone with their babies.

271. You got to give me some good news.

272. How many centimeters am I dilated... eight? Nine?

273. - Three. - Just three?

274. I'm dilated three!

275. - We are moving along... just slowly.

276. Don't worry. You're doing great.

277. - I'll be back soon. - Thank you.

278. Hang in there.

279. Hey, you know what? I'm not waiting. I'm going to push this baby out.

280. I'm doing it. It's what, three centimeters? That's got to be like this, right?

281. - Actually, it's... it's more like this. - Aw, stupid metric system.

282. Oh! Ah! Oh!

283. Oh, my. We're going to need to

284. take you straight to the delivery room.

285. Oh, for the love of God!

286. Hi. I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.

287. Really? I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.

288. I know, but I'm a neurologist, and just to be on the safe side,

289. Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of your status, so he sent me.

290. Dr. Wells is a woman.

291. That was a test. Good response.

292. - All right. Uh, full name? - Clifford Burnett.

293. - Date of birth? - November 16, 1968.

294. Age?

295. Can't you figure that out based on my date of birth?

296. I'm a doctor, Cliff, not a mathematician.

297. - I'm 33. - Okay.

298. - And, uh, are you married? - No.

299. Oh, really? So, 33 and single. Would you say you have commitment issues?

300. Are all the questions this personal?

301. Yes.

302. Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.

303. Oh, that's terrible.

304. - I'm... I'm really sorry. - Yeah.

305. Mmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?

306. - No. - Excellent, excellent.

307. And, uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know... sexually?

308. - Wh...? No! - Ooh, wrong answer.

309. - What else? What else? - Uh, he's 33.

310. Oh, uh-huh.

311. - A widower. - Oh.

312. - He seemed like a stand-up guy. - Uh-huh.

313. Oh, and he's not into anything weird sexually.

314. Enter Pheebs.

315. This room's available.

316. Okay, okay. Wait, you listen to me... you listen to me.

317. Since I have been waiting, four women...

318. that's four... one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated...

319. have come and gone with their babies! I'm next. It's my turn. It's only fair.

320. And if you bring in one more woman and she has

321. her baby before me, I'm going to sue you.

322. Not this hospital, I'm going to sue you. And my husband, he is a lawyer.

323. - Uh, Rach. - You get back on that case, honey!

324. I don't think the next patient is very far along.

325. Okay, well, then, bring her in.

326. Oh... my... God!

327. I... can't... believe this.

328. And yet, somehow, it's true.

329. I mean, this is so great. We're going to be baby buddies!

330. Squeeze your legs together, and cover the baby's ears.

331. - Hiya, sweetie. - Hi. Hi, sweetheart.

332. This is my husband, Sid. I don't think you've met him.

333. - Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. - Hi.

334. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist's office.

335. - Thank God for adult acne, huh?

336. I still can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

337. Really?

338. What did he say?

339. You know what? You have to speak very loudly when you're

340. talking to Sid, 'cause he's almost completely deaf.

341. - Oh, there you go. - Oh, of course he is.

342. So... congratulations, you two. I didn't even know you got married.

343. - Oh, no, we didn't. - No, no, we...

344. What?

345. Oh, uh... we're... we're just having this baby together,

346. but, uh... uh, that's all, you know?

347. Why?

348. Uh, well, um, we're just not in that place, you know,

349. but we're very excited about this...

350. Oh. Well, then shut me up.

351. Just tell me how.

352. Uh-oh. Oh, I feel another one coming.

353. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!