Friends 8x16

Directed by

Harry Van Gorkum as Don • Sam Pancake as Waiter • James Michael Tyler as Gunther • Terence Paul Winter as Waiter #2

After Joey reveals to Ross that he's in love with Rachel, Ross has a hard time accepting this revelation. However, after giving it some thought, he convinces Joey to tell Rachel how he feels. So he does exactly that by taking Rachel out to dinner, however, her reaction to the news isn't quite what he expected. Meanwhile, Phoebe claims that she has met Monica's soulmate which makes Chandler really anxious.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. D-Did... I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel?

2. Yes.

3. Um, you... you like Rachel?

4. Yes. I like Rachel.

5. Rachel?

6. Yeah, okay, but hey, you know...

7. you know who else I like? You.

8. And... and it doesn't get said enough. I like you, Ross.

9. - R-R-Rachel Rachel? - Yeah. It's not a big deal.

10. It's not a big deal? Oh, I'm sorry. I just...

11. Um, I... what about all the stuff you... you just said?

12. I mean, how about, uh, like, you can't stop

13. thinking about her. Like, how you can't sleep.

14. I... I'm an actor, you know?

15. As... as a group, we tend to be overdramatic.

16. But, Rachel-who's-carrying- my-baby Rachel?

17. Look, no, I... I know it's bad, and I know it's wrong, okay?

18. But... but it's not like anything's ever going to happen, you know.

19. These... these are just feelings. They... they're going to go away.

20. You know, I... I got to go.

21. Aw, come on, Ross. Hey, hey, Ross.

22. I just... you know, I... I just have one... Rachel?

23. Rachel?

24. Rachel?

25. - Yeah. Oh, oh! Okay, she's kicking. - Oh.

26. She's growing inside you.

27. - Whoa! Ooh. - Oh!

28. Wow, that was a big one.

29. I think that's the youngest girl ever to reject me.

30. - Oh, hey, you guys. - Oh, hey, there.

31. Hey, listen, let me ask you. Do you believe in soul mates?

32. Oh, yes, I do.

33. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone.

34. And you know how you find him? You stop looking for him.

35. That's why I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe.

36. He'll find me.

37. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And you?

38. No. I mean, I believe that, uh, certain people are more

39. suited for each other, and I believe in falling in love,

40. but soul mates... I don't think they exist.

41. Okay, good.

42. - Why? - Well, last night, I met Monica's.

43. - What? - Yeah.

44. I... I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God he is her other half.

45. Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think there's somebody

46. out there better suited for Monica than me, do you?

47. Well, what's he like?

48. - Well, he's tall. - Uh-huh.

49. - He has brown hair. - Of course, of course.

50. A tall guy with hair similar to mine. Oh, unknowable universe.

51. - He works with food. - Oh, sure. Older?

52. - Obviously. And he's British. - Oh, I was just going to ask!

53. Yeah? And he's... he's so centered,

54. - and mature and confident. - Oh...

55. It's so sad they never had a chance to meet.

56. Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear what you're talking about.

57. Oh, I'm so sorry. Um, and maybe I'm wrong.

58. I... but you know what? I'm going to go out with him again, and I'll find out more.

59. You believe that this guy is destined for somebody else,

60. and you're still going to date him?

61. Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girl's got to eat.

62. - Hey. - Hey.

63. I just talked to Joey, and I just... I wanted to see how you were.

64. You know what, I still... I can't believe it. Joey and Rachel?

65. I mean, it... it's like you and me going out, only weirder.

66. All right, I know you're hurting, and... and I want to be supportive,

67. but don't say that again.

68. Oh, my god, what if... if they get married? Then he'd be the step-father of my child.

69. Oh, honey, I don't think that's something you need to worry about.

70. First of all, he... he's never going to tell her how he feels about her.

71. And even if he did, you have no idea how she would react.

72. Sure, 'cause women never like Joey. You know, I think he's a virgin.

73. But, Joey... he's not even thinking about going after Rachel.

74. He's not?

75. No. All he's thinking about is how you're taking this.

76. I mean, listen, it... it's completely freaking him out.

77. He's talking about moving to Vermont.

78. - Why? - He says he wants to leave the country.

79. He thinks you hate him.

80. Hate him?

81. No, I don't hate him.

82. It's just, it's Rachel, you know?

83. Honey, I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you.

84. But I don't want you to lose Joey over it.

85. Right now, he just needs to know that you're still his friend.

86. Okay. Okay, I'll talk to him.

87. Okay. And I'd do it soon.

88. He just asked me how he could convert his dollars into Vermont money.

89. - Oh! Hi! - Hey.

90. - Um... Chandler, Monica, this is Don. - Hello.

91. - Hello, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

92. Soul mate.

93. So, what have you guys been doing?

94. Well, we just had a terrible lunch at Adriatica.

95. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?

96. I know. What is this, 1985?

97. That's exactly what I said.

98. - Phoebe, isn't that strange? - Not really.

99. What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes?

100. On a barbecue chicken pizza?

101. No?

102. So, Don, wh-what other restaurants do you like?

103. Well, Octavio, 27-and-7.

104. Oh, there's this great little place, Alessandro's.

105. Oh, my God, that's my restaurant. I'm the chef there.

106. - You're kidding me. - No.

107. Y-Your food is fantastic.

108. Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu.

109. I'm just going to get some coffees first. Um, anyone want anything?

110. Oh, I'd like a latte. You know what, if you're

111. going to talk about me, I'm going to go with you.

112. - What are you doing? - Nothing.

113. I swear to God, I didn't know you guys would be here.

114. The good news is, you don't even believe in soul mates, so...

115. I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife.

116. They're just talking. And you know what, just 'cause I think

117. they're soul mates doesn't mean anything's going to happen.

118. - Phoebe? - Huh?

119. - Good work. - Yeah?

120. Yeah, I mean, he's great. I love him.

121. Don't worry, we'll find you someone else.

122. - Hey. - Hey.

123. Look, I understand if you came by to hit me. I deserve it.

124. No, I... I don't want to hit you.

125. Oh, what then? Kick me?

126. No.

127. Bite me?

128. No. No, I don't... I don't want to do anything to you.

129. I just want to tell you that I'm not mad at you, and...

130. and that I certainly do not hate you.

131. I just came here to say that.

132. Hey, wait, Ross, Ross?

133. You want... you want to come in for a beer or something?

134. I don't know. Yeah, sure.

135. You, uh, you got any beer?

136. All... all I got is this, uh, melon stuff that Rachel left.

137. Okay.

138. Hey, look, Ross, you need to understand something, okay.

139. I, uh...

140. I am never going to act on this Rachel thing, okay?

141. I... I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you.

142. Thank you.

143. - Mmm.

144. Anyway, it, uh... look, it... it'll just...

145. take me a while to get over her, that's all.

146. I'm not even sure how to do that.

147. I mean, I've never been in love before, so...

148. - What? You're...

149. You're in love with her?

150. - Well, yeah. I thought you knew that. - Um, no.

151. Well, hey, look, if... if it helps, I don't want to feel this way. Honest.

152. I just keep thinking, "Aah, I'll get over this," you know?

153. But... God, it just keeps getting harder, and I...

154. I don't... I don't know what to do, you know?

155. I don't... what do I do?

156. I think you... you need to tell her how you feel.

157. Okay, that's the green stuff talking.

158. No, I'm serious. You... you need to find out where she is,

159. because if she's not where you are, then you can start to move past this.

160. But what if, uh... and I'm not saying she will be...

161. If... if she is where you are,

162. then, uh... then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way.

163. - Are you sure? - Yeah.

164. Look, if... if she's going to end up with somebody else,

165. the truth is, she couldn't find a better guy, so...

166. Hey, thanks.

167. So when do you think you're going to talk to her?

168. Oh, my God, I have to tell her.

169. I haven't even thought about what I would say. What should I say?

170. I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.

171. Right, right. Sorry, sorry.

172. What am I going to say?

173. Oh!

174. Yeah, tell me about it.

175. So, I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing

176. and focusing more on the, um, cheese side of things.

177. Cheese, you say?

178. That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Don?

179. - Excuse me? - Cheese, it's... smelly.

180. You must smell a lot of the time, too.

181. Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese,

182. I'm one of those people who thinks the smellier, the better.

183. Me, too. Yeah, Chandler can't stand it.

184. He won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.

185. And you're still married to him?

186. - You know what I'd love to do? - Hmm?

187. I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheese.

188. - Hmm! - No, not even bread. Just cheese.

189. - Hmm. - No, I want the bread, yeah.

190. - And pastries. - Mmm...

191. And pâté.

192. Oh, I'm really not high. It's just that I used to be fat.

193. Oh! Well, if ever you're in the Loire Valley, let me know.

194. I've got a great little villa you could stay in.

195. Is it made of cheese?

196. No. But, God, a house made of cheese! Wouldn't that be incredible?

197. - I'd move in tomorrow! - Oh, come on!

198. - Are you listening to this? - I'm so sorry.

199. What do I do?

200. I don't know. They both want to live in a house of cheese.

201. I don't know how you fight that.

202. Okay, okay. I can do this. I can tell her how I feel.

203. Just, uh... okay, stand up straight.

204. Take a couple deep breaths.

205. Look confident.

206. Oh! Geez!

207. - Oh, Joey! - Hey.

208. What's up?

209. I, uh... I just came by because I... I want to talk to you about something.

210. Okay. What's up?

211. Here, in the hall? What are we, animals?

212. Oh, well, honey, I'm late for a meeting, so could you just make it quick?

213. Yeah, okay, um, I just came by to tell you that...

214. I... want to have dinner with you tonight. That's all.

215. Sure. Sounds great. Just leave me a message and

216. - tell me where to meet you, okay? - Okay... great.

217. Okay. Okay. That's good. Yeah.

218. Okay, that gives you a couple of hours to

219. prepare what you're going to say. Good, yeah.

220. Oh! Don't you people ever knock?

221. I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldn't that be nice?

222. Sure. Why don't you set it up?

223. I'll just be over here, browsing through the personals.

224. Are you okay? You've been acting weird all afternoon.

225. Yeah, fine, fine.

226. Not perfect!

227. But good enough.

228. Jeez, what is with you?

229. I'm sorry. Did you say "cheese"?

230. All right, what's going on?

231. Phoebe thinks that you and Don are soul mates.

232. And I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but then you two totally get along.

233. So, look, I won't stand in your way if you want to

234. run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.

235. Chandler, you don't believe in soul mates?

236. No, but I'm sure "to-mah-toes" does.

237. I don't believe in soul mates, either.

238. - You don't? - Nope.

239. I don't think that you and I were destined to end up together.

240. I think that we fell in love and we work hard at our relationship.

241. Some days, we work really hard.

242. So, you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house?

243. No, I've had second thoughts about that.

244. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?

245. - I love you. - I know.

246. You know what? I'm going to take you out to dinner tonight.

247. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalapeño poppers.

248. No? Really? They taste so good.

249. I mean, I know Chandler was kidding,

250. but it happens every time he touches my stomach.

251. I mean, I'm really worried the baby's not going to like him.

252. - Are you okay? - Well, yeah, sure.

253. Uh... look, the, uh, the reason...

254. is it hot in here?

255. No, not for me. But why don't you take off your sweater?

256. I would, but this is a nice place,

257. and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbes.

258. Oh, my God! Really? Can I see it?

259. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

260. Huh!

261. Wow, I wouldn't think Hobbes would like that so much.

262. Uh...

263. how long have we known each other?

264. Um... seven, eight...

265. eight years. Wow.

266. - Uh-huh. A long time. - Yeah.

267. But over the past few weeks, I...

268. Okay! Sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here.

269. We have a couple of specials tonight.

270. - Actually, uh, could you give us a second? - Sure. Sure.

271. Second's up.

272. Not... that kind of table.

273. So, you were saying?

274. I'm not quite sure.

275. Okay, well, you had asked me how long we knew each other, and I said eight years.

276. And then the, um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half.

277. And, um, now here we are.

278. Yeah. Here we are.

279. Uh...

280. I... I think I'm falling in love with you.

281. What?

282. I'm falling in love with you.

283. Who are you talking to?

284. Oh, you're kidding. Oh, it's a joke.

285. Oh, that's funny. It's funny.

286. I don't get it.

287. Oh.

288. Okay.

289. Um...

290. uh, wow.

291. Are you, um...?

292. How did, um...?

293. When?

294. Does it really matter?

295. Wow, wow, wow.

296. Wow, it is hot in here.

297. Okay, look, look, Rach, I know this is a lot, okay?

298. You don't have to say anything.

299. You... you, uh... you take as much time as you need.

300. Okay, you got to say something.

301. Joey, Joey... I love you so much.

302. - But I... - But...

303. Joey?

304. Yeah, right. Hey, that's, um...

305. that's okay. That's fine.

306. That's, um... pretty much what I was expecting, you know.

307. So, uh, it's no big deal, all right?

308. - I think I'm going to go. - No!

309. - Yeah. - No, Joey, please,

310. don't... please don't leave like this.

311. Now, come on. You cannot do this to a pregnant woman!

312. Don't start doing that.

313. You can't do that, Rach, 'cause then you're going to make me do...

314. and... oh, there we go!

315. - Can I...? - Sure. Oh...

316. Aw, Joey, honey, I don't want... I don't want to lose...

317. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

318. You can't, okay? Ever.

319. I'm so sorry.

320. No, no, no, Rach. Please, don't be sorry.

321. Okay? Don't be sorry.

322. It's all right. You know what? I was only kidding.

323. Yeah, that was a real good one.

324. - Is this your table? - Yeah.

325. - God, you're going to be here all night. - I know.

326. I haven't even read them the specials yet.

327. What's the matter with them?

328. I don't know. I think maybe one of them is dying.

329. Man...

330. Hmm, I kind of hope it's the girl.

331. The guy is really cute!