1. All right, it's a new day.
That stuff about Rachel?
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2. You don't feel that now. It was crazy.
You're fine. You're better than fine.
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3. You are, as your friend Tony
would say, "Great!"
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4. Everything's normal.
She's just your friend, Rachel.
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5. Your friend, Rachel.
Your friend. Rachel.
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6. - Hi, sweetie.
Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!
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7. Hi.
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8. Are you...? Are you high?
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9. I had the most amazing bath.
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10. - Really? I don't like baths.
- You like them with me.
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11. Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy.
It's the wet, naked lady.
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12. - Baths are so relaxing.
- Really? What do you do?
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13. You just sit in there,
stewing in your own filth.
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14. How dirty do you think I am?
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15. If you had some candles and bubbles
and music, you'd love it.
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16. It'd take all your stress away.
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17. It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching
Road Rules. How stressed am I?
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18. Hey, Chandler.
I really need to talk to you.
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19. Oh, uh, yeah. Is this a cold pizza
or a leftover-meat loaf talk?
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20. - Well, neither.
- Oh, my God, what's up?
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21. I don't know. It's just...
Lately, I've been feeling...
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22. Okay, here's what it is. Heh.
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23. - I feel a lot better. Thanks.
- Wait a minute. Just come back.
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24. Okay. You and Monica,
friends for a long time.
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25. And sure, there are rules.
But then you went to London.
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26. But that's different. There are rules
there too, know what I mean?
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27. Do you?
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28. It was different for you guys.
You were both in the same place.
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29. - In London.
- Yeah.
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30. Yes, when Monica and I were
in London, we were both in London.
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31. This is a bad idea. Forget all about it.
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32. This conversation, between you and me.
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33. If that.
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34. Hi. Oh, Ross, don't forget
that doctor's appointment.
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35. - Right.
- To find out the sex of the baby?
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36. We don't wanna know
as long as it's happy and healthy.
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37. - Yep, healthy. And cute.
- And smart.
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38. - Popular.
- With an aptitude for science.
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39. Are you two talking about the same baby?
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40. - Have you thought of names?
- Oh, yeah. I've come up with a bunch.
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41. - Really? Me too.
- Me too.
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42. - Really?
- Uh-huh.
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43. If it's a girl, Phoebe.
And if it's a boy, Pheebo.
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44. Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt
to have a backup, you know?
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45. - Rach, what were you thinking?
- Okay.
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46. Um, I was thinking if it's a girl...
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47. how about Sandrene? It's French.
- Huh.
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48. That's a really pretty name
for an industrial solvent.
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49. Hmm.
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50. - Fine. What do you have?
- It's for a boy.
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51. I know it's a little out there, but...
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52. Darwin.
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53. Our child will be beaten in the schoolyard.
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54. Yeah, by Sandrene.
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55. You're saying that
because I said no to you.
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56. I'm really, really not.
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57. How about you each get five vetoes?
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58. - All right.
- That sounds fair.
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59. I don't think you'll need it.
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60. If it's a girl, Rain.
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61. - Veto.
- Why?
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62. Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain.
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63. I have my own kiln,
and my dress is made out of wheat."
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64. I know her!
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65. I bought a homemade soap
from her at a Dead show!
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66. - Okay. How about for a guy, Thatcher?
- Why do you hate our child?
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67. - Fine, you go.
- Okay. James.
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68. Huh.
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69. - But only if it's a girl.
- Oh, veto.
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70. I like Ruth. What about Ruth?
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71. Oh, I'm sorry.
Are we having an 89-year-old?
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72. - How about Dayton?
- Veto. Stewart.
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73. Veto. Sawyer.
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74. - Veto. Helen.
- Veto.
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75. Is it me, or is Veto starting
to sound really good?
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76. Hey.
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77. Boy, do I have a surprise for you.
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78. Sex on the balcony?
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79. No. But someone's not gonna
get over that idea.
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80. - What?
- I drew you a bath.
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81. I don't like baths. Could you draw me
a picture of sex on the balcony?
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82. Try it for me. I used all my best stuff.
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83. I lit candles, I put on music.
I used bath salts, plus bubble bath.
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84. And got you this little plastic
Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.
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85. - This does butch it up a bit.
- I swear, you will love it.
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86. If I do this, can we discuss balcony sex?
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87. Absolutely.
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88. But I know how
that discussion's gonna go.
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89. Who can say where the road goes?
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90. All right, this isn't bad.
I like the flowery smell.
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91. Which is okay, because I've got my boat.
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92. - So?
- Oh, my God.
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93. I told you you were a bath person.
Hey, maybe I can give you a facial.
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94. I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
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95. I don't think you had
an open mind about Ruth.
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96. Little Ruthie Geller? How cute is that?
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97. Oh, my God, I can practically
hear the mahjong tiles.
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98. All your tests look fine. Are you
interested in the sex of the baby?
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99. - No, we're not.
- You have it right there?
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100. You know if it's a boy or a girl?
Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe or Pheebo?
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101. But if you don't wanna know...
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102. - No, we wanna wait. Right?
- Right. Right.
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103. Oh, I'll be right back.
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104. I know it's really not my place...
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105. but please don't name
your child Pheebo.
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106. So, which of these babies is the ugliest?
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107. What? Rach, come on, that's terrible.
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108. They're babies. They're all beautiful.
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109. - Third one from the left?
- Yeah. Why is it staring at me?
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110. I think it knows I'm talking about it.
Don't you...? You're looking!
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111. - I didn't!
- I saw you!
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112. Fine, I did, but I didn't see anything.
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113. Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
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114. - But I didn't...
- Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!
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115. I couldn't, because I don't know!
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116. I swear I didn't see anything!
It was just a momentary lapse.
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117. "Momentary lapse."
Don't you have any self-control?
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118. Okay. A couple months late
on the lecture, Ross.
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119. Hello?
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120. Can you come in here?
There's something wrong.
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121. You know what?
I think I'll wait out here.
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122. I'm in the bathtub.
- Oh.
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123. - What's wrong?
- I drew a bath, but I did it wrong.
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124. The water's tepid, the salt didn't
dissolve and is now lodged places.
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125. And the scents I used don't compliment
each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!
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126. - What?
- Bath salts.
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127. They're starting to effervesce.
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128. It's different. It's interesting.
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129. Let's talk about something else.
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130. Yeah. Sure. So, what was
going on with you today?
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131. I actually had the weirdest
conversation with Joey.
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132. He was talking about rules
and right and wrong.
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133. - I had the same conversation.
- What was he talking about?
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134. He hasn't had this much trouble getting
out words since he was in Macbeth.
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135. - That was a long night.
- What exactly did he say to you?
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136. He was talking about rules
and looking at people differently.
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137. - Not to me.
- What'd he tell you?
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138. He asked about you, me and London.
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139. And the glue that holds
this all together, the rules.
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140. Okay. So you, me and London.
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141. Looking at people differently.
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142. Maybe he wants to do
what you and I did in London.
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143. But what'd he mean by "rules"?
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144. Wait. He stopped talking
the minute Phoebe came in.
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145. - He's looking at her differently.
- Phoebe is his friend.
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146. That'd be breaking the rules.
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147. My God, he wants to do it
with Phoebe in London!
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148. You guys?
- Um, just a minute!
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149. - That's Mrs. Tribbiani.
- You don't say anything.
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150. Why would I? That two of our friends
could start a great love affair?
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151. They'd have me to thank.
Then we could all start having babies!
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152. - I won't let you say anything.
- Stay here.
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153. Oh, God!
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154. Oh. I brought back your iron.
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155. You had that? I thought I lost it.
I got a new one a month ago.
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156. Oh, just as well. I broke this one.
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157. - What?
- Nothing.
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158. Okay.
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159. I really shouldn't say.
I'm really not supposed to.
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160. Fine.
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161. - It's a humdinger.
- Too bad you can't tell me.
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162. Somebody likes you!
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163. - Ugh. Is it Chandler?
- No!
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164. - Then tell him to stop staring.
- It's Joey.
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165. Really? Joey? You don't say.
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166. - Would you be interested?
- I don't know, I don't know.
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167. You know, I mean, on the one hand,
"Mother, may I?"
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168. But, you know, on the other hand...
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169. No. No, I can't. We're friends.
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170. Oh, no. I don't wanna risk
what we have.
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171. I guess that makes sense.
You think you're gonna talk to him?
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172. Sure. I mean, it's Joey.
I don't want him to get hurt.
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173. Well, I must say, I am on fire!
First Chandler, now Joey.
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174. - Not Chandler. Just Joey.
- Sure.
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175. - Hi.
- Hey.
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176. You know what?
I'm coming around on the name Ruth.
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177. I'd consider naming our child that.
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178. Rach, I can't tell you
how much that means to me. Oh...
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179. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
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180. You hated the name Ruth.
Why would you change your mind?
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181. Unless you know we're never
gonna have to use it.
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182. You did see. You know it's a boy!
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183. I didn't see anything. I changed my mind.
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184. I don't think so. You're giving me Ruth...
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185. so you get to name him
when it's a boy.
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186. That's when you'll swoop in and
name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
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187. I would... Sequoia!
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188. - Veto.
- Fine.
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189. Unless you anticipated that
I would figure all this out...
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190. and you know that it actually is a girl.
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191. And you really do want her
to be named Ruth.
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192. Well, I'm not falling for that!
Okay? Ruth is off the table!
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193. - But, Ross, you want the name Ruth.
- Not like this!
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194. - Hey.
- Hey. What's up?
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195. - Um, Joey, I know.
- What?
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196. - I know.
- What?
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197. - I know about your feelings.
- Oh, my God, you do?
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198. I'm sorry. Things worked out for
Chandler and Monica, but that's rare.
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199. I know. And this is so much more
complicated than it was for them.
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200. I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes.
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201. For God's sakes, it's Rachel!
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202. I know! She's not only my friend,
she's my pregnant friend.
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203. She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!
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204. Yeah, that's Rachel.
Beat me over the head with it.
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205. What am I gonna do? I keep trying
to get rid of these feelings.
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206. I made a list of everything
I don't like about her.
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207. - You wanna hear it?
- Yeah.
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208. "She made me switch to light mayo."
That's it! That's all I got!
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209. You know what? Tastes the same
and my pants fit better.
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210. Joey, you're getting upset for nothing.
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211. - This is probably just a crush.
- You think?
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212. Absolutely. You get this rush
of feelings, but it goes away.
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213. Yeah, just a crush.
That's all this is. It's a crush!
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214. I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings.
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215. There you go.
Crushes happen all the time.
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216. I've had them for all you guys.
Except for Ross and Chandler.
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217. - And I'm sure you've had them for us.
- Not really.
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218. Throw me a bone here.
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219. So I, uh... I called the doctor.
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220. - Now we both know the sex of the baby.
- What?
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221. That's right.
The student has become the master.
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222. - Ross, I swear. I don't know.
- Oh, come on, you know it's a girl.
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223. - A what?
- You really didn't know?
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224. - We're having a girl?
- No.
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225. - That's what you said.
- No.
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226. - You said girl.
- Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
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227. I'm not! We're having a girl!
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228. Sometimes I can't believe it's with
you, but still, we're having a girl!
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229. I know! You know what?
I'm putting Ruth back on the table.
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230. Yes, we'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth.
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231. - Permission to veto.
- Yes, please.
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232. - Hey.
- Do I smell essential oils?
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233. I'm gonna take a bath.
I was gonna get a magazine.
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234. Okay.
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235. What do you think you're doing?
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236. Leaving my troubles behind?
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237. You're new at this,
but this is unacceptable bath decorum.
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238. It's so hard to care
when you're this relaxed.
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239. You can have the bath,
but I am taking your boat.
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240. Now you're just a girl in a tub.
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241. - Hey!
- Hi, bubbles. Manly.
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242. I thought I'd let you know how it went.
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243. - You told her?
- She pulled it out of me!
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244. She's like a conversational wizard!
How did it go?
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245. - You were wrong. He doesn't like me.
- What?
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246. How would you like it if I told you
that Lee Majors liked you...
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247. and you found out that he didn't like you?
How would you feel?
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248. - I don't think I'd care.
- Really? Lee Majors is hot.
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249. Hello?
- We're in the bathroom!
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250. Why?
- Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time!
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251. - What are you guys doing in here?
- Oh, my God.
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252. A friend he's looking at differently,
but it's wrong.
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253. - It's Rachel!
- You like Rachel?
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254. It's no big deal. Phoebe and I talked.
It's a crush. It'll go away.
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255. Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles.
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256. Mazel tov.
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257. Hey. Oh, hi.
Ross and I were looking for you.
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258. What are we all doing in here? Oh, my.
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259. Honey, cover it up with the boat.
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260. Hello?
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261. We're all in here,
and we'd love for you to join us!
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262. Well, hey! What's going on?
Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.
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263. - Did you tell them?
- I waited for you.
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264. - Tell us what?
- We're having a girl.
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265. Oh, wow! Really? Oh, my God!
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266. I'll get you later.
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267. All right. It's a new day.
And it's just a crush.
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268. That's all. Just a little crush.
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269. All that worrying I was doing?
That was crazy. Crazy.
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270. Like my friend the bird here
would say, "It was cuckoo!"
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271. Everything's gonna be fine.
It's just a crush.
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272. - Hi, sweetie.
I love you.
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273. It's nice to do this together,
isn't it?
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274. Yeah. And what you're doing
feels so good.
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275. - I'm not touching you.
- You're not?
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276. - It's the salts.
- Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.
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277. Whatever keeps you
off the balcony, big guy.
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