1. - Hey.
- Hey. So, what do you think?
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2. New haircut? Necklace? Dress?
Boots? Boots!
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3. Yes! They're a little more than
I usually spend on boots. Um, or rent.
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4. Oh, my God.
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5. - I know.
- I'll miss being able to afford food.
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6. I'm sorry. They just looked so good.
The saleswoman was like:
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7. - "These are too expensive for you."
- She had a point.
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8. - Hey.
- Hi. Oh, my God.
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9. - Oh, Monica, those boots are amazing!
- They're mine!
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10. - Too bad we'll have to return them.
- Return them? Shh! They're gonna hear you.
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11. I'm not returning them.
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12. I know they cost a lot,
but I'll wear them all the time. You'll see!
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13. Besides, I love the compliments.
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14. Have you ever had something
everyone wants?
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15. - I have you.
- Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.
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16. That's right. I love you.
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17. And I'm gonna play with you
all the time.
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18. How can you let him talk
to your crotch like that?
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19. - He's talking to the baby.
- Oh! Okay.
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20. Okay. When he said, "I can't wait
to hear your first words"...
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21. I thought, "There's a trick."
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22. Okay, well I gotta go, you guys.
I'll see you later.
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23. - Okay.
- All right.
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24. Bye.
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25. - Oh, hey, Rach. Um...
- Hi.
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26. Can you do me a favor? My sister
knows you work at Ralph Lauren...
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27. Forget it! No way.
I'm not sending more clothes to prison.
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28. - It is a waste.
- No! Not her.
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29. My youngest sister, Dina.
She's interested in fashion.
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30. She wants to talk to someone successful
to give her some advice.
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31. - I'll talk to my supervisor.
- No, no. She wants to talk to you.
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32. Really? Oh, my God. I'm successful.
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33. - Would you meet with her?
- I'd love to. Have her come by.
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34. Great. You'll love her. She's the smartest
of all the Tribbiani children.
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35. - Yeah, you know the SATs?
- Yeah.
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36. She took them.
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37. Hey, Ross,
doesn't Ben go to Smithfield School?
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38. Yeah. Why?
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39. - Sting has a son that goes there.
- I know. He's in Ben's class.
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40. You knew and never said anything?
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41. With all the stupid
dinosaur stuff you tell us?
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42. Fine, no more dinosaur stuff.
Can I talk about fossils?
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43. "Sting's son, 7." There's a picture.
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44. What are you reading? "A Kidnapper's
Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?"
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45. It's New York Magazine, an article
about the best schools in the city.
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46. - So how well do you know Sting?
- I haven't met him.
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47. Uh-huh. That's too bad. I wanna go to
his concert Friday, but it's sold out.
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48. I know! Why don't you meet him
and get tickets?
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49. If you get two, I'll take you.
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50. I'm picking Ben up tomorrow.
Maybe he'll be there.
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51. There you go. Ugh, you're so lucky.
You might meet Sting tomorrow.
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52. That's why you have kids.
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53. - Hey, guys.
- Hey.
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54. Hi, Monica. Hi, boots.
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55. See? I'm getting a lot of use
out of them already.
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56. They're very practical. You can wear them
with dresses, skirts, pants...
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57. Wear them with shorts on the corner
and earn money to pay for them.
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58. - Wow, they're beautiful.
- They hurt so much.
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59. - What?
- The guy who made these...
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60. hates feet
and wants to see them die.
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61. Give them to me.
I haven't felt my feet in years.
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62. I can't. I spent so much on them, and
told Chandler I'd wear them all the time.
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63. - I can't just give them away.
- Then get your money back, return them.
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64. I can't do that either.
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65. The soles are scuffed up, and the
insides are filled with my blood.
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66. - Hey.
- Hey.
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67. - Hey, I, uh, just picked up Ben from school.
- Oh.
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68. I don't think you did
a very thorough job.
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69. I dropped him off at Carol's.
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70. Anyway, I'm not gonna
get those tickets.
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71. Oh, no. Why not?
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72. Well, it turns out Ben and Sting's son
do not get along.
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73. - How come?
- Apparently, Sting's son made fun...
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74. of the fact that Ben's moms
are "les-be-nims."
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75. Wait! If they don't get along,
you should smooth things over.
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76. - Make them be friends.
- You can't force kids to be friends.
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77. Sure you can. Give them some blocks.
Put them in a playpen.
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78. - Playpen? Ben's 7.
- Your kid is 7?
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79. He's really small.
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80. - Please! Please get the tickets.
- I'm sorry. I just can't do it.
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81. - Yes, you can. Sting says so himself.
- What?
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82. Ross can!
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83. Look, Pheeb, I'm sorry...
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84. Ross can!
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85. Phoebe?
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86. Ross can get me the tickets!
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87. Here she is.
Future fashion superstar.
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88. - Oh, Joey, I'm hardly...
- My little sister, Dina!
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89. - Right. Hi, Dina. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
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90. Thanks for meeting me.
Joey's told me so much about you.
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91. This is exciting for her.
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92. Well, I'll let you two fash...
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93. ists get down to business.
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94. Okay. All right, Dina.
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95. Let's talk about the different
areas of fashion...
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96. you could get involved in.
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97. Let's see. There's design.
But you may need another degree for that.
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98. Uh, there's sales, which is great.
You get to travel.
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99. I don't care about fashion! I'm pregnant.
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100. And I know you are too,
so you gotta help me.
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101. And there's marketing.
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102. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
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103. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
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104. - What's wrong?
- Oh, nothing. I'm just... I just was yawning.
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105. Don't forget my office
holiday party tonight.
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106. We don't really have to go tonight,
do we?
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107. Sweetie, I know that you don't like
my office parties.
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108. - But you can wear your new boots.
- Ha, ha.
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109. See? Every cloud has
a supple leather lining.
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110. - I don't wanna wear the boots tonight.
- Why not?
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111. I'm worried your bosses might see them
and think they pay you too much money.
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112. Or your assistant will see them
and want a raise.
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113. Do you think I work at
a boot-pricing company?
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114. Anyway, I picked an outfit,
and the boots don't go with it.
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115. You said you paid all that money...
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116. because those boots go with skirts,
dresses and pants.
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117. Fine, if you want me to wear the boots,
I'll wear the boots.
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118. In fact, I'll go in to my room now
and try the outfit on.
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119. - Okay.
- Okay.
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120. Ooh-wee! Ha, ha.
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121. Christmas party in my boots!
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122. Ha, ha, ow, ha, ha, ow.
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123. I can't go in there. I can't tell him.
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124. It'll be okay.
He's been incredibly supportive of me.
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125. And if he gets a little upset,
that's what the meatball sub is for.
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126. - Thank you.
Okay.
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127. Hey! It's my fashion girls!
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128. - What's wrong?
- Why don't you sit down?
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129. Dina has something
that she wants to tell you.
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130. Oh. What's going on? Is it Mom?
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131. Is she sick? Is it Dad's heart?
Is that a sandwich?
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132. - Joe, Mom and Dad are fine.
- Is that a sandwich?
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133. Joey, there's something
that you should know. Dina?
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134. - I'm pregnant.
- What?
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135. Now. Give him the sandwich.
Give him the sandwich!
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136. Obviously, this is a mistake.
You can't be pregnant.
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137. You have to have sex to get pregnant.
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138. Joe, I tried to wait until
I was 25, like you did.
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139. - What? Dina...
- Bub!
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140. Sh...
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141. I can't believe this! You're
the good one. You went to college.
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142. Both years!
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143. - Who did this to you?
- Bobby Corso. But he's a real nice guy.
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144. I like him a lot. He's real funny.
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145. You got pregnant for "funny"?
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146. Dina, if he's funny, laugh!
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147. - I'll be back in a while. Stay here!
- Why?
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148. I can't look at you right now.
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149. - Wow.
- I know.
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150. Oh, there you are, Ben.
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151. Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
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152. I heard you have a problem
with a boy in your class.
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153. And so I thought
I'd just come down here...
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154. I'd sit you both down,
have a talk and make it all okay.
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155. Now, um, the boy's name is Sting's son.
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156. Jack? I hate him. He's a jerk.
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157. Now, Ben, sometimes people may seem
like jerks on the outside...
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158. but they have famous fathers.
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159. I have to go.
My friend Doug is waiting for me.
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160. Him you're friends with.
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161. Excuse me,
can I help you with something?
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162. Yes. Yes you can.
I'm looking for Jack's parents.
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163. - Are you with a student?
- Uh-huh. I'm with Ben.
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164. - Are you one of Ben's mothers?
- I am one of Ben's mothers.
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165. I'm a lesbian.
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166. It was difficult coming out
to my parents.
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167. Heh, well, hi. I'm Jenny Boon.
I'm the new teacher here.
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168. - Oh.
- I've only met your partner, Carol.
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169. - Ah! Okay, that would make me Susan.
- Heh.
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170. Right. Are you looking
for Jack's parents to discuss...
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171. the problems he's having with Ben?
Yeah.
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172. I think the parents should sit
down together and converse.
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173. Yeah, let's do that!
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174. That sounds good.
We should sit and talk.
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175. Just me, my lover, Carol, and the Stings.
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176. - How will I get in touch with them?
- Their number's on the contact sheet.
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177. Uh-huh. Um, could I get a copy of that?
Carol threw it out. She lost ours.
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178. She's such a scatterbrain.
But, man, what a hot piece of ass.
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179. - That wasn't bad.
- I didn't know there'd be dancing.
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180. That was a fun surprise!
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181. - I don't see any, uh, cabs. We should walk.
- No, we can't walk.
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182. It's, like, 15 blocks to the subway.
Let's go.
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183. Do you think we can get to the subway
if we climb through that manhole cover?
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184. - What's going on?
- I can't walk, okay? Okay?
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185. - These boots were a huge mistake.
- What?
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186. You were right.
I never should've bought them.
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187. They're killing me, one toe at a time.
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188. I was right. This is what
it feels like to be right.
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189. It's oddly unsettling.
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190. How are will gonna get home?
Maybe a piggyback ride?
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191. - Hop on.
- Okay, wait. Give me a second.
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192. Let me just get my boots off first.
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193. Ow.
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194. Oh, God.
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195. Honey, I know you're in pain
right now, but I'm a little turned on.
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196. Do you worry that you'll be walking
and your baby will slip out?
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197. What college was that, Dina?
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198. Oh, my God! Bobby?
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199. Hi, Dina. Good to see you.
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200. - Joey, what are you doing?
- Just what needs to be done.
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201. - Dearly beloved, we're gathered here...
- Ugh, Joey, this is crazy.
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202. Don't interrupt me
when I'm talking to God!
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203. - Where were we? Do you take this man...?
- No!
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204. - Oh, you'll take him.
- No I won't!
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205. - Hey, you don't get a say.
- Yes I do.
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206. Ah, I heard "I do." We're halfway there.
Okay, you.
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207. All right, Joey, that is enough!
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208. Listen, as beautiful and moving
as this ceremony is, this is not legal.
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209. They don't have a marriage license,
they don't have witnesses...
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210. and the groom only has on one shoe.
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211. Yeah, he took the other one off
and hit me with it.
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212. What am I supposed to do?
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213. You're supposed to realize they are adults
and can make their own decisions.
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214. No, they can't.
They're stupid enough to get knocked up!
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215. Hey!
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216. Contraceptives are not always
effective. Right?
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217. - Yeah. We kind of didn't use any.
- Oh, come on, kids, a little help here.
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218. Wow! This place is incredible!
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219. Sting's pen. That he gave to Phoebe.
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220. Come on, secret passageway.
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221. - Hi.
- Hi.
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222. - I'm Trudie. You must be Ben's mum.
- Uh-huh.
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223. Why else would I be here?
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224. - Why don't you sit down?
- Uh-huh.
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225. I gather Jack and Ben
haven't been getting along.
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226. - Yeah.
- I'm sure there are two sides to this.
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227. But all I've heard is that Ben's
a bit of a "poo-poo head."
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228. Um, I'm sorry.
Won't Jack's father be joining us?
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229. I'm sorry, Jack's father's not available.
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230. Mm-hm. Okay.
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231. Well then could we reschedule
for Friday night, perhaps at 8:00?
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232. Oh, no, that wouldn't work.
My husband's in concert.
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233. Concert. Yeah.
Mm. That just put us in quite a pickle.
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234. Because I'm very busy before
and after the concert...
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235. and he's obviously busy during.
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236. So you and I should talk about
Jack and Ben now.
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237. Unless... Unless, um...
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238. Okay, I would be willing
to go to the concert...
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239. um, all the while
thinking about the children of course.
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240. - Are you here for tickets?
- Ugh, thanks. Four would be great.
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241. I'm not giving tickets to someone
who'd use their son like this.
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242. Oh, then you're in luck.
Ben's not my son.
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243. I've pressed a button
triggering an alarm.
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244. - Any minute now, the police will be here.
- The Police? Here?
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245. A reunion? Ooh!
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246. Okay, 10 blocks down, five to go.
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247. - Oh, wait! Stop!
- Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need a break?
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248. My boots in tan!
Get closer so I can see the price.
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249. I can see it from right here.
It'll cost you one husband.
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250. Okay, I think I can walk the rest
of the way now. Just give me my boots.
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251. - I don't have your boots.
- I don't either. Where are they?
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252. Why don't you check
in one of my saddlebags...
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253. while I chew on a bale of hay?
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254. Okay. My God, we gotta go back
and get them!
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255. Are you seriously
ever gonna wear the boots again?
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256. Okay, I'll never wear them again.
I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
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257. Know what? You can say goodbye
to the tan ones.
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258. - Okay. All right. Unh.
- Okay.
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259. Bye, boots. Wait! Half off!
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260. Joey, because they're not
getting married...
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261. doesn't mean this is a disaster.
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262. - Maybe they have a plan.
- Oh. Oh! Okay, let's hear their plan.
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263. What's the future look like
for Dina and Bobby?
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264. Well, I really have high hopes
for my band.
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265. You were right. He is funny.
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266. Wait! I bet when you told people
you wanted to act, they laughed at you.
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267. Bobby, tell us a little
about your band.
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268. It's just me and my pal, Rooster.
The band's name is Numbnuts.
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269. Really?
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270. Dina, if you're having a baby,
you should be married.
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271. Even if it is to Bobby.
Dude, that's not a compliment.
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272. - I knew you wouldn't be supportive.
- What are you gonna do?
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273. You're gonna have the baby and raise it
by yourself, without a husband?
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274. You can't be a single mother alone!
You're gonna ruin your life!
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275. - Excuse me. Am I ruining my life?
- No, no, it's different for you.
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276. You're strong and together.
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277. You're not some dumb kid
who doesn't know what she's doing.
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278. - Excuse me?
- One pregnant woman at a time, please!
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279. I just want you to be okay.
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280. Forcing her to marry Bobby
is gonna make that happen?
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281. Maybe.
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282. Yeah. So, uh, what kind of music
does Numbnuts...?
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283. Ah, forget it! I can't!
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284. Joey, I am scared to death
about this.
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285. But I think I can do it.
I just need some help.
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286. - And Bobby's gonna be here the whole time.
- You bet I am.
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287. To answer your earlier question,
we're straight-up gangster rap.
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288. Rachel's told me how much easier
you've made this on her.
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289. - Why can't you do that for me?
- Because!
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290. Because you're my baby sister!
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291. And you're my big brother.
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292. I mean, you're my favorite guy
in the whole world.
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293. I'm not even scared to tell Mom
and Dad. I was scared of telling you.
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294. I'd be scared of them, but all right.
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295. I can't stand the thought of
having this baby with you mad at me.
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296. I want him to have his uncle.
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297. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
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298. Of course he's gonna have
his Uncle Joey.
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299. We'll be all right. Even if we're not
married, this baby is gonna be so loved.
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300. - And not just by us.
- That's right.
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301. - By his uncle too.
- And by you.
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302. Okay, Bobby, come over here and let them
have a little moment, okay?
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303. Come here!
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304. No, seriously, what's wrong with you?
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305. You're gonna love me so much.
I got Sting tickets!
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306. Oh, my God, I do love you!
How did you do it?
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307. Well, let's just say:
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308. Ross can!
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309. Ohh!
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310. - Where are the seats?
- Middle balcony.
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311. Would you say that that's
more than 50 yards away...
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312. from Sting, his wife,
or a member of his family?
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313. - Yeah.
- Then that's not breaking the law!
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314. I'm there!
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