Fred: The Show 1x18

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1. - I AM REALLY GETTING BORED OF THIS HOUSE

2. AND THIS SCHOOL—

3. THIS WHOLE TOWN, REALLY!

4. I'VE DECIDED A CHANGE IN SCENERY IS DEFINITELY NECESSARY.

5. I MEAN, I SAW THIS ONE GUY ON THE NEWS

6. WHO, EVERY DAY, WENT FROM HOME TO WORK,

7. WORK TO HOME, HOME TO WORK,

8. WORK TO HOME, HOME TO WORK!

9. WORK TO HOME!

10. SAME OLD DULL, BORING ROUTINE.

11. AND THEN ONE DAY, HIS HEAD TOTALLY EXPLODED.

12. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I ASSUME HAPPENED.

13. I HAD TO GO TO BED, SO I MISSED THE ENDING.

14. - FRED... WE NEED TO TALK.

15. - IF IT'S ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES AGAIN,

16. DON'T BOTHER.

17. I RETURNED THEM ALL TO THE PET STORE.

18. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

19. - I'M SHIPPING MYSELF OFF TO HAWAII FOR A WEEK.

20. HOW MANY STAMPS DO YOU THINK I'LL NEED?

21. - DON'T BOTHER.

22. I GOT TRANSFERRED AT WORK.

23. ACTUALLY, I GOT FIRED,

24. BUT I ARGUED MY WAY BACK UP TO A TRANSFER.

25. AND IT'S IN ALASKA.

26. AND WE'RE MOVING THERE ON SATURDAY.

27. - BUT TODAY IS THURSDAY!

28. THAT'S TWO DAYS AWAY!

29. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

30. NO!

31. WHY!

32. AGH! WHY, MOM?

33. I DON'T- WANNA!

34. I WAS JUST SAYING HOW MUCH I LOVED IT HERE.

35. THINK OF EVERYTHING I HAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED YET.

36. OOH, AHH!

37. YOU DESERVE IT!

38. - AGH! WAAH!

39. - THAT'S RIGHT!

40. I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

41. I HAVE TO LIVE EACH DAY TO ITS FULLEST.

42. LOOK OUT, WORLD.

43. FRED FIGGLEHORN IS READY TO LEAVE HIS MARK.

44. HOLLY, CAN I HAVE A WORD, PLEASE, DOLLFACE?

45. IT'S A SHAME THIS IS HAPPENING SO LATE.

46. WE COULD HAVE REALLY HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL, KID.

47. - FRED, WHAT ARE YOU—

48. SHUSH... DO NOT SPEAK.

49. LET OUR LIPS DO THE TALKING.

50. MWAH!

51. - FRED! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

52. - OH, I'M SO EMBARRASSED RIGHT NOW!

53. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M MOVING TOMORROW,

54. SO MY ACTIONS HAVE ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

55. YEAH!

56. YEAH, MY FACE IS TURNING BRIGHT RED,

57. 'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S HOLLY'S FAVORITE COLOR.

58. - THE SEVENTH CAVALRY

59. LED BY GENERAL CUSTER

60. ARRIVED AT THE LITTLE BIG HORN RIVER

61. TO FIND THAT...

62. - HOPE YOU'RE GETTING GOOD GRADES,

63. 'CAUSE YOUR CAREER AS A DRUMMER DOES NOT LOOK PROMISING.

64. - I'M FREAKING OUT, BERTHA.

65. MY MOM SAID WE'RE MOVING TO ALASKA TOMORROW!

66. - O.M.G., FRED. WHEN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?

67. - YESTERDAY.

68. - FRED FIGGLEHORN, FOCUS PLEASE.

69. WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW

70. THAN THE BATTLE OF LITTLE FIG HORN?

71. FRED FIGGLE— FIGGLE—BIGGLEH—

72. WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW

73. THAN THE BATTLE OF LITTLE BIG HORN?

74. - MY FUTURE, MR. MAYS.

75. MY LIFE HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY IN A MATTER OF DAYS.

76. I TOTALLY JUST RHYMED.

77. - PLEASE PAY ATTENTION,

78. OR YOU'LL GET DETENTION.

79. HA! I DID TOO.

80. - YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T NEED THIS CLASS.

81. I MEAN, I ALREADY KNOW PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING

82. YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HISTORY.

83. LET'S SEE.

84. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS EXTINCTED THE DINOSAURS WITH SMALLPOX

85. WHEN HE DISCOVERED CANADA,

86. AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN DEFEATED SWITZERLAND

87. IN WORLD WAR III.

88. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.

89. - CHILL OUT. YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.

90. AND YOU SHOULD REALLY STAY IN THIS CLASS.

91. NOTHING YOU JUST SAID IS CORRECT.

92. - I'M MOVING AWAY TOMORROW.

93. NOTHING I DO HERE MATTERS.

94. ALL RIGHT. I THINK I'M GONNA HEAD OUT.

95. LATER, MR. MAYS.

96. ACTUALLY, I DON'T LIKE THE FORMALITY.

97. SEE YA, JONATHAN.

98. ALL RIGHT, SEE YA, EVERYONE.

99. thud!

100. GET UP, SLEEPYHEAD.

101. SOME LEARNING TO DO.

102. MMM!

103. OH, SLOPPY JOE! HOW I'LL MISS YOU.

104. AND SOME DAY, I'LL FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF MEAT IS IN YOU.

105. - OH, GET THIS GUY—

106. - OOP! OH, SORRY, DUDE!

107. - WHERE'S THE BALL? GO GET IT.

108. - GO FETCH, LITTLE BOY. - THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.

109. - MAYBE YOU WON'T STARVE TODAY.

110. OH-HO-HO!

111. - WOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, FIGGLEHORN?

112. - WOW, KEVIN!

113. ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT YOUR LITTLE CAVEMEN BUDDIES

114. MIGHT WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU SLEEP WITH FOOTIE PAJAMAS

115. AND HAVE TAYLOR SWIFT KARAOKE JAM SESSIONS IN YOUR MIRROR

116. USING YOUR LACROSSE STICK AS A MICROPHONE.

117. OH, BUT DON'T WORRY, KEVIN.

118. I WON'T TELL ANYONE THAT YOU MADE A SHRINE

119. DEDICATED TO HOLLY.

120. OOPS! I JUST DID!

121. SUCH A NUDNECK.

122. - HA-HA.

123. HA! THAT'S SO FUNNY, FRED!

124. TOO BAD NOBODY BELIEVES YOU.

125. - WELL, I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE IT, PEOPLE.

126. ENJOY YOUR LUNCH, KEVIN.

127. ENJOY THAT LUNCH.

128. OH, KEVIN, YOU ARE STEAMING.

129. I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD COOL OFF.

130. OH-HO-HO-HO. OH-HO-HO-HO.

131. OH...

132. - WHOA!

133. - HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY-HEY! NO FIGHTING, BRO.

134. THE PRINCIPAL SAID ONE MORE,

135. AND YOU'RE GETTING SHIPPED OFF TO MILITARY SCHOOL.

136. RELAX.

137. - I WILL DESTROY YOU!

138. - WELL, YOU BETTER DO IT FAST,

139. OR YOU'LL LOSE YOUR CHANCE.

140. - IS 3:00 SOON ENOUGH FOR YOU, FRED?

141. - ACTUALLY, SUNDAY WORKS MUCH BETTER FOR ME, SO...

142. - 3:00! AT THE BIKE RACK!

143. IT'S GOING DOWN.

144. - HEY.

145. YOU'RE ON A ROLL.

146. RUMOR HAS IT THAT YOU TOLD OFF KEVIN IN HISTORY CLASS

147. AND THREW LUNCH ON MR. MAYS.

148. IT'S ALL OVER SCHOOL.

149. - THE SCHOOL RUMOR MILL

150. JUST ISN'T AS ACCURATE AS IT USED TO BE.

151. WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

152. - I OVERHEARD HOLLY SAY IT.

153. - HOLLY WAS TALKING ABOUT ME?

154. AMAZING! SHE MUST BE SO IN LOVE!

155. OUR CELEBRITY POWER COUPLE NAMES

156. COULD BE FROLLY OR HOLLY-HORN.

157. - OR IN-YOUR-DREAMS-HORN.

158. - THAT ONE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

159. - NEITHER DOES YOU TICKING OFF EVERYONE IN SIGHT

160. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MOVING.

161. - I HAVE A PLAN. - SOME PLAN.

162. WHY ARE YOU SO BANANAS?

163. I MEAN, YOU'RE ALWAYS FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING.

164. YOU'RE SO PROUD OF YOUR LITTLE ADORABLE VOICE,

165. AND YOU'RE ALWAYS STICKING YOUR NOSE

166. IN THINGS THAT AREN'T YOUR BUSINESS.

167. - YOU KNOW THAT JUST DESCRIBES YOU, RIGHT?

168. - YO, FIGGLE-FART. I SEE YOU.

169. - HEY, NO FAIR.

170. I'M HIDING HERE TILL TOMORROW.

171. - HIDING AIN'T GONNA CUT IT.

172. YOU NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE 3:00.

173. KEVIN IS SUPER INCREDIBLE HULK-STYLE ANGRY.

174. HE HEARD YOU KISSED HOLLY.

175. - JEEZ, THE RUMOR MILL AT THIS SCHOOL IS CRAZY!

176. - AND YOU RUINED KEVIN'S FAVORITE BLUE SHIRT.

177. IT'S A SHAME TOO.

178. IT MATCHES HIS EYES PERFECTLY.

179. - WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?

180. - 'CAUSE IT'S TRUE, ALL RIGHT?

181. IT'S, LIKE, THE PERFECT LITTLE POWDERY BLUE—

182. - I MEAN, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP ME?

183. - BECAUSE YOU'RE A PUNY LITTLE WIMP,

184. AND IF KEVIN GETS HIS HANDS ON YOU,

185. HE'S GONNA BLEND YOU INTO A SMOOTHIE

186. AND DRINK YOU FOR PROTEIN.

187. - OKAY, I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF.

188. JUST 'CAUSE I'M NOT A BIG, TOUGH, TUBBY LUNK-HEAD

189. DOESN'T MEAN I'M PUNY.

190. - HEY! I'M NOT TUBBY.

191. ALL RIGHT?

192. - EXCUSE ME FOR ONE MOMENT.

193. THIS ISN'T GOING VERY WELL.

194. I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GO HIDE.

195. - I'M NOT TUBBY.

196. - OH!

197. - I HAVE AN IDEA THAT COULD HELP YOU.

198. - WERE YOU WAITING FOR ME OUT HERE?

199. THAT IS SO CREEPY.

200. - I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

201. KEVIN DOESN'T HATE YOU.

202. HE JUST THINKS YOU'RE AFRAID OF HIM,

203. SO HE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

204. IF YOU STAND UP TO HIM AND SHOW HIM YOU'RE NOT SCARED,

205. HE'LL BACK DOWN.

206. - THAT HAS TO BE THE WORST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF IDEAS.

207. OBVIOUSLY, I'M JUST GONNA KEEP HIDING AND DODGING KEVIN

208. UNTIL I HAVE TO MOVE TO ALASKA TOMORROW.

209. WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

210. - STUDENTS, IF YOU LIKE FRED FIGGLEHORN—

211. AND THAT CAN'T BE MANY OF YOU—

212. SAY GOOD-BYE TO HIM.

213. HE'S TRANSFERRING TO A NEW SCHOOL

214. IN BEAT-UPS-VILLE,

215. 'CAUSE I'M GONNA BEAT HIM UP TODAY.

216. - KEVIN, WE GOT IT. GET AWAY FROM THAT MIC.

217. - OW!

218. - RELAX, FRED.

219. TOMORROW, THIS WILL ALL JUST BE A FUNNY JOKE

220. AS YOU HUNT CARIBOU AND CATCH KING CRABS.

221. "FRED, GOOD NEWS.

222. "I THREATENED THE BOSS WITH A BEAT-DOWN,

223. "SO I GET TO KEEP MY JOB.

224. "WE'RE NOT MOVING TO ALASKA.

225. MOM."

226. - FRED, FRED, FRED, FRED! FRED, FRED, FRED!

227. - PSST! BERTHA!

228. BERTHA, BERTHA!

229. BERTHA... BERTHA...

230. - WHOA!

231. WHOA. YOU SCARED THE LUNCH OUT OF ME.

232. - OH, WELL, CLEAN IT UP QUICK.

233. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

234. - HIDING. MY MOM TEXTED ME.

235. AND IT TURNS OUT WE AREN'T MOVING TO ALASKA.

236. NOW ALL MY ACTIONS HAVE A CONSEQUENCE.

237. HOLD ME!

238. LET MY LEGACY LIVE ON.

239. TELL PEOPLE THAT I WAS KIND, BRAVE,

240. AN AMAZING SINGER,

241. AND THAT I GAVE KEVIN THE FIGHT OF HIS LIFE.

242. IT'S TIME.

243. IF I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THIS TOWN,

244. I REFUSE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF KEVIN!

245. THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT FRED FIGGLEHORN

246. STOOD UP AND FOUGHT.

247. HOO! HOO!

248. ALL RIGHT.

249. OOH, ALL RIGHT, FRED.

250. LET'S DO THIS.

251. I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, KEVIN.

252. - ALL RIGHT, THEN. LET'S DO THIS.

253. - BUT WHAT I AM SCARED OF

254. IS SETTING A BAD EXAMPLE FOR MY CLASSMATES

255. BY RESORTING TO VIOLENCE.

256. SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS BE THE BIGGER MAN

257. AND APOLOGIZE.

258. AND TO PROVE HOW SORRY I AM,

259. I'LL BUY YOU TEN BRAND-NEW SHIRTS

260. THAT ALSO MATCH YOUR EYES PERFECTLY,

261. LIKE YOUR FRIEND DIESEL SAID.

262. - COME ON, KEVIN.

263. slap!

264. - LET'S DO THIS!

265. - YOU KNOW, FRED,

266. THAT'S THE MOST MATURE THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

267. YOU'RE LIKE GANDHI.

268. - WHO'S GANDHI?

269. - YOU REALLY NEED TO START PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS.

270. MAYBE IF YOU ACTED MORE LIKE FRED,

271. PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE SO FREAKED OUT BY YOU.

272. - OKAY, I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND LIKE A BABY OR ANYTHING,

273. BUT I DIDN'T EVEN START THIS.

274. THIS WAS FRED.

275. ME AND DIESEL WERE HANGING OUT.

276. FIGGLEHORN STARTS PICKING ON ME AND STUFF.

277. - AND HE WAS WRONG, AND HE APOLOGIZED.

278. - YEAH. - END OF STORY.

279. FRED, MIND WALKING ME TO THE BUS?

280. - I WOULDN'T MIND THAT AT ALL.

281. - NO!

282. - SO TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS GANDHI GUY.

283. WHAT—IS HE, LIKE, A SURFER OR SOMETHING?