Fred: The Show 1x17

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Tessa Netting as Eloise

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - STUPID NUMBER TWO PENCIL.

2. - STUPID FRED.

3. - MM, MM— crash!

4. STUPID ROBOT MOVES.

5. - MENTALLY INFERIOR ANTS.

6. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A "D."

7. - OH, HAMMY. OH-HO.

8. YOU'RE SO CUTE.

9. OH! HI, IT'S FRED.

10. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY BEST FRIEND

11. IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

12. HAMLET THE HAMSTER.

13. - UH, BFF WITHIN EARSHOT.

14. - OH, HI, BERTHA.

15. AWKWARD.

16. - YEAH, HOW IS A RODENT

17. THAT SLEEPS IN ITS OWN POOP A BETTER FRIEND THAN ME?

18. - OH, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

19. WELL, HERE'S A CHART I MADE OF EVERYONE I KNOW

20. AND THEIR LEVEL OF IMPORTANCE TO ME.

21. SEE HOW HAMLET'S AT THE TOP

22. NEXT TO THE UNICORN AND ROCKET SHIP

23. AND YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE

24. NEXT TO OATMEAL.

25. DON'T FEEL BAD, BERTHA.

26. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

27. IT'S JUST THAT HAMLET— HE'S A REALLY AMAZING LISTENER.

28. - HEY, KIDS.

29. GET READY FOR A HUGE POP QUIZ,

30. AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY SASS.

31. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR SASS TODAY.

32. - MRS. KOVACS,

33. WHAT'S SASS?

34. - ARE YOU SASSING ME BY ASKING ME ABOUT SASS?

35. - UH—

36. - MISS KOVACS, IT'S YOUR DOCTOR.

37. HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY

38. ABOUT YOUR INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING RASH.

39. - I TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL ME AT WORK.

40. HE'S MORE IRRITATING THAN MY RASH.

41. WELL, YOU'RE IN CHARGE TILL I GET BACK.

42. - I'M IN CHARGE?

43. I'M IN CHARGE!

44. HUH! OH, YEAH.

45. HO-HO-HO! WHO'S IN CHARGE?

46. WHO'S IN CHARGE? FRED FIGGLEHORN!

47. HUH-HUH-HUH!

48. I'M THE BOSS.

49. I'M THE BOSS OF ALL YOU GUYS!

50. CH-CH-CH-CHARGE!

51. FRED FIGGLEHORN! FRED FIGGLEHORN!

52. BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET IT GO TO MY HEAD, OKAY?

53. I'M GONNA KEEP LEVEL-HEADED THROUGHOUT ALL OF THIS.

54. ALL RIGHT, FOR MY FIRST COMMANDMENT,

55. I ORDER ALL OF YOU TO BUILD A GIANT STATUE IN MY IMAGE.

56. HAMLET'S DEAD!

57. NO! HAMLET!

58. IT WASN'T YOUR TIME!

59. NO!

60. - SORRY, FRED.

61. - NO, I'M SORRY, ELOISE.

62. I'M SORRY THAT WE'RE ALL IN A CLASSROOM WITH A MURDERER!

63. - YEAH, WELL,

64. YOU'RE A NERD-ERER.

65. NERD-ERER.

66. SHUT UP! IT WAS FUNNY!

67. - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S FUNNY.

68. WHAT'S FUNNY IS A MONKEY IN BABY CLOTHES

69. DANCING TO A BRITNEY SPEARS SONG!

70. BUT HERE'S SOMETHING THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

71. NO ONE'S LEAVING HERE, BECAUSE EVERYONE'S A SUSPECT.

72. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

73. - IT'S TIME TO EXTERMINATE THE VERMIN

74. THAT EXTERMINATED THAT VERMIN!

75. I LIKE MY CRIMES SHAKEN,

76. NOT HAMSTERED.

77. MY NEW FAVORITE DR. SEUSS BOOK

78. IS GREEN EGGS AND HAMSTER.

79. - SHUT UP!

80. ping!

81. I AM THE PERFECT PERSON TO SOLVE THIS PERFECT CRIME.

82. BECAUSE, "A," I HAVE AWESOME CATCHPHRASES,

83. AND, "C," ALL MY MOM DOES AT NIGHT

84. IS WATCH CRIME SHOWS AND IGNORE ME.

85. SO LET'S SOLVE THIS

86. TV-STYLE.

87. HAMLET'S GHOST, ARE YOU THERE?

88. WHOA!

89. OH-HO!

90. OH!

91. HMM.

92. NO!

93. WHOO!

94. OOH!

95. YEAH.

96. AND USING MY SUPERIOR CRIME-SOLVING TECHNIQUES,

97. I HAVE UNCOVERED A SMALL CONTUSION,

98. WHICH IS "HOLE" FOR YOU NONDETECTIVE TYPES.

99. - YOU'RE A HOLE.

100. - I'M BEING SERIOUS, KEVIN!

101. AS I WAS SAYING, I DISCOVERED A SMALL OPENING

102. IN THE TOP OF HAMLET'S CAGE, WHICH HAS LED ME TO A SUSPECT.

103. ACTUALLY, FOUR SUSPECTS!

104. ELOISE...

105. - THE HOLE WAS JUST BIG ENOUGH

106. FOR HER ARMY OF ANTS TO GO IN THERE

107. AND COMPLETE HER MURDER MISSION.

108. DIESEL!

109. - HIS HEADPHONES WOULD HAVE FIT PERFECTLY INTO THE HOLE,

110. ELECTROCUTING HAMLET WHEN HE BIT INTO THEM.

111. BERTHA!

112. THE PENCIL SHE USED TO PUT UP HER HAIR—

113. POISONED TIPS WOULD HAVE MEANT "GOOD NIGHT, HAMLET."

114. AND KEVIN...

115. - HIS PINKY, THE ONE HE USED

116. TO FLICK PAPER WADS AT THE BACK OF MY HEAD—

117. AND, YES, I NOTICED, KEVIN—

118. HIS PINKY IS THE EXACT CIRCUMFERENCE

119. OF THE HOLE.

120. - THAT'S CRAZY.

121. WHO WOULD EVER BELIEVE ANY OF US DID THAT?

122. - ALL RIGHT.

123. AND NOW, TO USE MY AMAZING AND COOL INTERROGATION METHODS

124. TO BREAK YOU GUYS DOWN

125. AND SHOW WHAT YOUR TRUE MOTIVES REALLY ARE.

126. LET'S DO THIS!

127. YEAH!

128. JUST ADMIT IT, BERTHA.

129. YOU POISON-TIPPED HIM!

130. - UH, FRED, YOU'RE BLINDING ME.

131. - SORRY.

132. AHH! thud!

133. YOUR ALIBI JUST ISN'T HOLDING UP.

134. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

135. - YOU'RE SO HANDSOME WHEN YOU'RE INTERROGATING.

136. - YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

137. NOW FOR SOME GOOD COP, BAD COP.

138. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.

139. TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW.

140. - HERE'S WHAT I KNOW—

141. YAH!

142. I'M A LOOSE CANNON. TALK, OR ELSE.

143. - I'M TOO SCARED TO TALK NOW.

144. - EXACTLY.

145. thud!

146. WAIT.

147. I THINK I DID THAT BACKWARDS.

148. OKAY, HERE'S HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK, "KEVIN."

149. - ONE MORE WORD AND I WILL PUNCH YOU.

150. - YOU'RE FREE TO GO. - OKAY.

151. - SO I DIDN'T FIND ANY MOTIVES ON THESE SUSPECTS,

152. BUT THAT'S OKAY,

153. BECAUSE IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT THERE'S A WITNESS.

154. YUP, MY FRIENDS

155. AND KEVIN,

156. UNDERNEATH THESE SHEETS IS A SURPRISE WITNESS.

157. I PRESENT YOU A SECRET WITNESS...

158. OR SHOULD I SAY "FISHNESS"?

159. YUP, IT'S GOLDY THE GOLDFISH.

160. I CAME UP WITH THAT ONE TOO.

161. KIND OF MY FORTE.

162. LIKE SQUIRRELS, FISH HAVE BEEN USED BY THE POLICE FOR CENTURIES

163. TO HELP SOLVE CRIMES.

164. - MAN, THAT SOUNDS DUBIOUS, AT BEST.

165. - ACTUALLY, FISH HAVE BEEN UTILIZED,

166. THOUGH RARELY AND WITH POOR RESULTS.

167. - EXACTLY!

168. SO YOU FOUR SUSPECTS

169. WILL PRESS YOUR FINGERS AGAINST THIS BOWL,

170. REVEALING YOUR PRINTS.

171. THEN GOLDY, HERE, WILL COMPARE YOUR PRINTS

172. TO HAMLET'S PRINTS ON HIS CAGE.

173. THEN HE'LL FINGER— OR "FLIPPER"--THE CRIMINAL.

174. WHO'S FIRST?

175. THE MURDERER HAS STRUCK AGAIN!

176. WHERE'S GOLDY?

177. GOLDY'S GONE!

178. COME ON, GUYS. I THOUGHT WE WERE—

179. I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL GONNA SCREAM.

180. WE WERE SCREAMING.

181. THANK YOU, FRED, FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A TOOL.

182. - ONE OF THESE FOUR IS RESPONSIBLE!

183. WE'VE GOT TO GET THEM BEFORE THEY GET US!

184. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. DUDES, DUDES, DUDETTES.

185. HOLD ON, HERE.

186. FRED WAS THE ONE THAT TOUCHED THE FISHBOWL.

187. - NO. - NO?

188. YOU EVER THINK ABOUT MAYBE FRED'S THE ONE

189. THAT OFFED THE HAMSTER AND THE FISH?

190. - OF COURSE. FRED FELT SLIGHTED.

191. HIS LOVE FOR HAMLET WAS UNREQUITED.

192. - YEAH, AND ONCE GOLDI WAS GONE, HE'D GET TO NAME

193. TWO NEW ANIMALS, WHICH HE CLEARLY CARES MORE ABOUT

194. THAN HIS OWN FRIENDS.

195. - THIS IS RIDICU-LUDICROUS-SANE!

196. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY THINK I DID IT?

197. WELL, WHAT IF THEY'RE RIGHT?

198. WHAT IF I DID DO IT AND I JUST DON'T REMEMBER?

199. OH, MY GAMMIT!

200. I'M THE MURDERER!

201. - I STILL THINK KEVIN DID IT. IT'S PROBABLY HIM.

202. - DUDE, DUDE, I SAID I WAS SORRY FOR HITTING ON YOUR MOM.

203. I DON'T KNOW— WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO SAY?

204. - I LOVE ANIMALS. I MEAN, I'M AN ANIMAL LOVER.

205. ONE OF THEM, IF ANYTHING—

206. - NO! - IT WAS YOU! IT WAS YOU!

207. - YEAH, WELL, DUDE, YOUR MOM IS HOT, ALL RIGHT?

208. - I AM A FISH PERSON, OKAY?

209. - ENOUGH!

210. ALL I KNOW IS, WE CAN ALL AGREE

211. THAT SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM OFFED HAMLET, RIGHT?

212. WHICH MEANS THAT WHOEVER DID IT

213. HAS A THING AGAINST HAMSTERS.

214. - THAT'S IT! THAT'S SO OBVIOUS!

215. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE COME UP WITH THAT BEFORE?

216. IT'S SO OBVIOUS! crash!

217. WHOEVER FREAKS OUT AT THE SIGHT OF A GIANT HAMSTER

218. IS OBVIOUSLY GUILTY.

219. YOU'RE THE CRIMINAL!

220. YOU'RE THE CRIMINAL!

221. YOU'RE THE CRIMINAL!

222. YOU'RE ALL CRIMINALS!

223. - HOW TO KILL.

224. IT WAS FRED THE WHOLE TIME!

225. - HE CAN GET US,

226. BUT WE CAN'T GET HIM IN HIS IMPENETRABLE BALL.

227. IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE LEARNING!

228. IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!

229. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING FUN IN THERE!

230. WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN IN CLASS!

231. - AHH!

232. crush!

233. OH! OH, HAMLET'S ALIVE!

234. OH, HE MUST HAVE JUST FELL ASLEEP

235. WHEN THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF.

236. BUT NOW THAT I HIT HIS CAGE AGAIN,

237. HE'S AWAKE!

238. - FRED.

239. - BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN GOLDY.

240. - YEAH.

241. - I'LL ANSWER THAT.

242. WE ALL HAVE DREAMS, KIDS.

243. GOLDY'S WAS TO BE A SEAWORLD STAR.

244. SHE OFTEN LEAPS OUT OF HER BOWL LIKE A MAJESTIC KILLER WHALE.

245. AH!

246. splash!

247. LIVE YOUR DREAM.

248. - YEAH, BUT MISS KOVACS,

249. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS BOOK I FOUND IN FRED'S BACKPACK

250. CALLED HOW TO KILL?

251. - OH—OH, RIGHT.

252. UM, I ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT FOR A PETTING ZOO.

253. P.S., THE SMELL DOESN'T LEAVE YOU.

254. - SO I WAS ACCUSED OF BEING A MURDERER

255. BY MY BEST FRIEND.

256. - ALMOST CRIED IN CLASS.

257. - CRIED IN CLASS.

258. - LEARNED IN SCHOOL.

259. - ALL BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT HAMLET WAS DEAD,

260. AND HE WAS JUST SLEEPING.

261. - LOOKS LIKE THIS HARD-BOILED DETECTIVE...

262. HAS SOME EGGS ON HIS FACE.

263. NO HARD FEELINGS, RIGHT?

264. HOW DID I GET IN HERE?