Fred: The Show 1x15

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. AH, NOTHING LIKE A GREAT NIGHT OF SLEEP.

2. I'M NOT DROOLING, AM I?

3. ANYWAY, I HAVE A LOT PLANNED FOR TODAY,

4. SO I PROBABLY SHOULD—

5. WHY IS THERE A CAMERA IN MY FACE?

6. - ZOOM IN ON THE DROOL.

7. - MOM!

8. - FRED, MOTHER'S HERE.

9. SOMETIMES WHEN HE SCREAMS,

10. THE NEIGHBORS THINK HE'S A PEACOCK.

11. - TYPICAL SELFISH, CHILDLIKE BEHAVIOR.

12. - BUT I AM A CHILD?

13. AND WHO ARE YOU?

14. - I AM ULTRA MOMMA.

15. STAR OF THE REALITY HIT SHOW ULTRA MOMMA.

16. PERHAPS YOU HAVE SEEN MY COMMERCIAL?

17. - WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO ULTIMATE CAGE FIGHTING

18. AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR.

19. - SO YOUR CHILD HAS

20. AN OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION, THEN, EH?

21. IS HE RUNNING AROUND THE ROOM WILDLY RIGHT NOW?

22. WELL, THEN CALL ME, ULTRA MOMMA.

23. AND I'LL STRAIGHTEN YOUR WRETCHED CHILD RIGHT OUT.

24. IT'S ALWAYS THEIR FAULT AND NEVER YOUR FAULT, EH?

25. - OOH, YEAH, YEAH, WHOO, YEAH.

26. SHAKE IT DOWN. BRING IT UP.

27. - FRED, GIVE ME THE PHONE.

28. - SO THAT'S WHY YOU WANTED THE PHONE.

29. - YES, AND I'M HERE TO PROVE

30. THAT YOU'RE A BAD, BAD, VERY BAD YOUNG BOY, FREDERICK.

31. - WHO'S FREDERICK?

32. - NOT TO WORRY.

33. I'M SURE TO WHIP YOU INTO SHAPE

34. AS I HAVE MILLIONS OF OTHER LITTLE BRATS AROUND THE GLOBE.

35. - UH, THANKS?

36. - IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST, FRED...

37. RICK.

38. - NOW, HILDA, IN ORDER FOR ME TO WORK MY ULTRA MOMMA MAGIC

39. ON YOUR OUT-OF-CONTROL OFFSPRING,

40. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT FREDERICK'S BIGGEST PROBLEM AREA IS.

41. - WELL, HANDS DOWN, IT'S THAT OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION OF HIS.

42. HE'S ALWAYS LETTING IT RUN WILD.

43. SEE? LOOK AT HIM.

44. HE'S IMAGINING HIS IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD RIGHT NOW.

45. - JUST DREADFUL.

46. I KNEW SOMEONE THAT IMAGINED SOMETHING ONCE BACK IN CANADA,

47. AND NOW THEY'RE TALKING TO PIGEONS IN THE PARK.

48. - I DO THAT.

49. - YOU CALLED ME NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.

50. LET'S GET STARTED.

51. SHOW ME YOUR NORMAL MORNING ROUTINE.

52. - OKAY, SURE.

53. FRED!

54. FRED, EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

55. PLEASE.

56. - HUH. MOM.

57. - FRED, GET DRESSED.

58. PLEASE.

59. - ALL RIGHT, HILDA. HERE'S THE SITUATION.

60. FRED IS SINGING INTO A MIRROR.

61. AND BY MY CALCULATION, SCHOOL STARTED TEN MINUTES AGO.

62. SHOW ME HOW YOU WOULD—

63. - FRED, GO TO SCHOOL!

64. - OKAY.

65. - PLEASE.

66. - I'M BEGINNING TO SENSE A PATTERN.

67. PERHAPS I SHOULD FOLLOW MOTHER

68. THE REST OF THE DAY.

69. ONCE AGAIN, MOTHER IS LEFT TO CLEAN UP

70. HER PROBLEM CHILD'S MESS.

71. - JACKPOT.

72. THIS IS GOING RIGHT IN HIS COLLEGE FUND.

73. RIGHT AFTER I DOUBLE IT AT THE TRACK.

74. OH, NOT THIS GUY AGAIN.

75. WHAT DO YOU WANT FRED?

76. YOU FORGOT YOUR WHAT?

77. - THERE IS NO REST FOR MOTHER

78. AS SHE MUCH NOW DEAL WITH A CRISIS

79. THAT YOUNG FREDERICK HAS UNDOUBTEDLY CAUSED AT SCHOOL.

80. - IT'S HOW MUCH OF YOUR FINAL GRADE?

81. WOW.

82. THAT IS A LOT.

83. - MOM? ARE YOU THERE?

84. MOM? HELLO?

85. - CUT.

86. DON'T WASTE ANY MORE FILM.

87. - MOM, I'M HOME!

88. THE BEST THING HAPPENED TO ME AT SCHOOL TODAY!

89. I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT!

90. - HUH? WHA—

91. - AH, LET'S OBSERVE THE DELICATE BALANCE

92. WHICH MOTHER HANDLES POTENTIALLY GOOD NEWS

93. FROM HER TROUBLED CHILD.

94. - WELL, WHEN YOU FELL ASLEEP ON THE PHONE

95. WHEN I LOST MY PROJECT,

96. BERTHA FOUND SOMETHING JUST LIKE IT

97. IN THE LOST-AND-FOUND.

98. - WHAT TIME IS IT?

99. OH, I'M LATE.

100. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

101. - OUT.

102. - WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK?

103. - LATER.

104. OH, I MEAN, AFTER YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK

105. AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH

106. AND GO NIGHTY-NIGHTS.

107. NOW, THAT'S PARENTING.

108. - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN ALL OF MY CASES,

109. IT APPEARS THAT IT'S THE MOTHER, NOT THE CHILD,

110. THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

111. CUT.

112. BOYS, I THINK WE JUST STUMBLED UPON

113. THAT VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF ULTRA MOMMA

114. WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

115. AND WHEN I'M DONE WITH HER,

116. HILDA FIGGLEHORN WILL BE EXPOSED AS THE WORST MOM IN AMERICA.

117. - DID YOU HEAR THAT LADY?

118. MY MOM IS NOT THE WORST MOM IN AMERICA.

119. I CAN THINK OF AT LEAST THREE OTHERS THAT ARE WORSE THAN HER.

120. SHE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE IN THE TOP FIVE.

121. OR IS THAT THE BOTTOM FIVE?

122. ANYWAY, I CANNOT LET THAT LADY WHO LOVES BOOTS

123. AND THE LETTER "A" SO MUCH MAKE MY MOM LOOK BAD.

124. IT'S UP TO ME TO MAKE MY MOM LOOK GOOD.

125. HOW HARD CAN THAT BE?

126. - AND ROLLING.

127. - THERE'S NOTHING TO BE SCARED ABOUT.

128. THIS IS YOUR CONFESSIONAL TIME.

129. IT'S LIKE A VIDEO DIARY, EH?

130. JUST TALK RIGHT INTO CAMERA

131. AND TELL US ALL YOUR FEELINGS.

132. - HEY.

133. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

134. CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE?

135. THEY WANT ME TO TALK INTO THEIR CAMERA

136. LIKE THERE'S SOMEONE THERE LISTENING.

137. HOW CAN I DO THAT?

138. IT'S SO WEIRD.

139. WOW, MY MOM MADE ME A FIVE-COURSE BREAKFAST?

140. AW, SHE'S THE BEST MOM EVER.

141. - OH, WHAT?

142. OH, YEAH. FOOD.

143. I THINK I'M GONNA EAT THIS IN MY BED.

144. MMM.

145. - OH, MY GOSH.

146. MOM CLEANED MY ROOM AND MADE IT LOOK SPOTLESS.

147. SHE'S THE BEST.

148. - FRED, I NEED TO BORROW YOUR COMFORTER.

149. MINE HAS FOOD STAINS ON IT FROM THAT BREAKFAST YOU MADE ME.

150. NICE GOING.

151. HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ROOM?

152. - IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON,

153. IT'S MY MOM COMING TO MY RESCUE.

154. THIS'LL SHOW THEM.

155. MOM! HELP!

156. YOUR SON IS IN TROUBLE AND HE NEEDS YOU TO RESCUE HIM!

157. - OH, MY GOSH. FREDDIE, WAIT.

158. THIS IS INTERNET GOLD.

159. IF THIS DOESN'T GET ME A MILLION HITS,

160. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL.

161. - AW, GAMMIT!

162. - GAMMIT!

163. - OH, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

164. I TRIED EVERYTHING TO MAKE MY MOM LOOK GOOD,

165. AND NOTHING'S WORKING.

166. IF SHE SCREWS UP DINNER TONIGHT,

167. ULTRA MOMMA IS GONNA CALL HER THE WORST MOM EVER.

168. - FREDDIE, DINNER.

169. - OH, CLASSIC MOM,

170. SERVING A FROZEN DINNER STILL FROZEN.

171. THAT JOKE NEVER GETS OLD.

172. - HILDA, IT'S TIME FOR MY ULTRA LESSON.

173. YOU READY TO HEAR IT?

174. - ME? ASK FREDDIE. IT'S HIS LESSON.

175. I'M GONNA WATCH ULTIMATE CAGE FIGHTING.

176. OOH, THAT'S GOT TO HURT.

177. OH, YEAH. OOH, YEAH. THAT DOESN'T GROW BACK.

178. ELECTRIC, FLIP HIM. COME ON, BLOODHOUND.

179. STICK HIM IN THE DOG POUND.

180. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?

181. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE'S ABOUT.

182. SHE'S THE WORST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN, EH.

183. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

184. JUST LIVING WITH HER IS TURNING ME INTO A FREAK.

185. LIKE... LIKE... LIKE HIM.

186. - HEY, MY SON MAY BE A LOT OF THINGS,

187. BUT HE'S NOT A FREAK.

188. FREDDIE, WE'RE DONE FILMING.

189. UNPLUG.

190. - DO NOT PULL OUT THOSE CORDS, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE—

191. - HEY!

192. - NOBODY LAYS THEIR HANDS ON MY SON BUT ME.

193. YOU'RE OUT OF HERE, SON.

194. COME ON, ULTRA MOM.

195. BRING IT ON.

196. - BRING IT, EH?

197. - YEAH, MOM. THROW HER IN THE DOG POUND.

198. - WHO'S THE ULTRA MOMMA NOW, EH?

199. - HA, YOU GOT YOUR A-BOOT KICKED.

200. HA! GO, MOM.

201. WOW, WATCHING ALL THAT ULTIMATE CAGE FIGHTING

202. REALLY PAID OFF, MOM.

203. - IT SURE DID, FREDDIE.

204. I'M JUST SORRY I CALLED ULTRA MOMMA IN THE FIRST PLACE.

205. - AND I'M SORRY I LET MY IMAGINATION RUN WILD SOMETIMES.

206. - OH, FREDDIE, YOU LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD

207. AS A WILDEBEEST.

208. WHY, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED TO—

209. YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN, AREN'T YOU, FREDDIE?

210. FRED? FREDDIE?

211. THAT'S MY BOY.