Fred: The Show 1x12

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Rachel Crow as Starr

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - OH, HI. IT'S FRED.

2. HOW'S IT GOING? I'M—

3. UH.

4. LIKE I WAS SAYING, I'M JUST—

5. OH, MY GAMMIT!

6. HOW RUDE!

7. THESE PEOPLE NEED TO REALIZE THAT THIS IS A SCHOOL,

8. NOT A PINBALL MACHINE.

9. HEY!

10. - DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO RANT HERE.

11. - DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO SING HERE.

12. - MAYBE WE COULD COMBINE FORCES AND "RING" TOGETHER.

13. - OR "SANT."

14. GOOD ONE.

15. - I'M STARR.

16. WITH TWO "R's.

17. - I'M FRED WITH ONE "R."

18. SO WHAT WERE YOU SINGING ABOUT?

19. - ABOUT HOW RUDE THE PEOPLE AT THIS SCHOOL ARE.

20. - REALLY?

21. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS RANTING ABOUT.

22. WHAT A COINKY-DINK.

23. - IT SURE IS.

24. MAYBE WE SHARE A BRAIN.

25. HERE YOU ARE, AS WE DISCUSSED.

26. THE BRAIN IS YOURS MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY,

27. AND HALF OF SUNDAY.

28. - OKAY, WELL, I BETTER GET THE GOOD HALF THIS TIME.

29. - JUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE BRAIN BACK BY TUESDAY.

30. I HAVE A HUGE TEST.

31. - OKAY.

32. DID YOU JUST PICTURE US SHARING A BRAIN?

33. ME TOO! WOW!

34. WE JUST SAID THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME.

35. WANT TO BE FRIENDS? SURE!

36. HOW LONG CAN WE KEEP THIS UP?

37. - DUDE!

38. WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, MAN!

39. - YEAH, YOU JUST RAN INTO THIS SCHOOL'S FUTURE CLASS PRESIDENT.

40. - WHERE? UH—

41. - THE SIGN?

42. - OH, YOU'RE RUNNING FOR CLASS PRESIDENT?

43. - YOU KNOW IT.

44. - PSH. - PSH.

45. - AND THE BEST SLOGAN YOU COULD COME UP WITH

46. IS "VOTE FOR KEVIN"?

47. WOW.

48. - YOU TRY THINKING OF SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH KEVIN.

49. - YEAH, IT'S, LIKE, PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE.

50. - YEAH. - LIKE TRYING TO RHYME "ORANGE."

51. - VOTE FOR KEVIN, YOU'LL BE IN HEAVEN.

52. KEVIN RULES 24/7.

53. ON A SCALE FROM 1 TO 10, HE'S AN 11.

54. NONE OF THAT'S TRUE, BY THE WAY.

55. WHEW.

56. - WRITE THAT DOWN. - YEAH, OKAY.

57. - DIESEL HERE IS MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

58. - THAT'S RIGHT.

59. WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR KEVIN'S FIRST CAMPAIGN SPEECH.

60. IT'S GOING TO BE EPIC.

61. ♪ EPIC SPEECH

62. EW!

63. - WHOO!

64. - UH, GOOD MORNING.

65. IF ELECTED AS YOUR CLASS PRESIDENT,

66. I PROMISE THERE'LL BE TATER TOTS IN THE CAFETERIA EVERY DAY.

67. NOT JUST THURSDAYS.

68. WELL, IF I'M ELECTED TO—

69. TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE SCHOOL,

70. WE'LL HAVE A DAY WHERE YOU COULD BRING YOUR, UH, DOG TO SCHOOL.

71. BUT NO CATS.

72. - THIS IS HIS EPIC CAMPAIGN SPEECH?

73. - MORE LIKE HIS EPICALLY LAME SPEECH.

74. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

75. IF I'M ELECTED CLASS PRESIDENT,

76. I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SIT OUTSIDE FOR CLASS.

77. - OH, YEAH!

78. - ALSO I'M GOING TO MAKE FIGGLEHORN

79. CLEAN OUR P.E. UNIFORMS.

80. YEAH, AND WHEN HE'S DONE WITH THAT,

81. I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM DO ALL OF OUR HOMEWORK!

82. ALSO I WILL THEN PUT UP NO-FRED ZONES

83. IN THE HALLWAYS AND IN THE GYM.

84. AND IF ANY OF US ARE IN THE CAFETERIA EATING,

85. HE HAS TO LEAVE!

86. KEVIN, KEVIN, KEVIN!

87. - YES!

88. - WELL, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO DO A LOT MORE THAN THAT

89. TO GET MY VOTE, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH.

90. WHAT? HUH?

91. WHA-

92. OKAY, UH, WHAT?

93. UGH.

94. IF KEVIN'S ELECTED,

95. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE ANYMORE.

96. HE'S RUNNING A FULL ANTI-FREDGENDA.

97. - MAYBE YOU SHOULD RUN AGAINST HIM.

98. - ME AS PRESIDENT?

99. I'LL DO IT!

100. I'LL RUN FOR CLASS PRESIDENT.

101. - GOOD!

102. SORRY, THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A FANTASY THERE.

103. - WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

104. - NO REASON.

105. SO CAN I MANAGE YOUR CAMPAIGN?

106. - SURE.

107. I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE STARR AS MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

108. SHE'S, LIKE, HECKA SMART.

109. AND CHECK OUT ALL THESE CATCHY SLOGANS SHE CAME UP WITH.

110. YOU CAN'T SPELL FRIEND WITHOUT FRED.

111. YOU CAN'T SPELL FREEDOM WITHOUT FRED.

112. YOU CAN'T SPELL FLUORIDE WITHOUT FRED.

113. THIS ONE'S ACTUALLY POLLING VERY WELL

114. WITH FOUR OUT OF FIVE DENTISTS.

115. CHECK THIS OUT.

116. IT'S FOR OUR RALLY TOMORROW.

117. VOTE FOR FIGGLEHORN, GET CANDY CORN.

118. VOTE FOR FIGGLEHORN, GET CANDY CORN.

119. YEAH, STARR CAME UP WITH THAT TOO.

120. BUT I CAME UP WITH THE

121. REMIX!

122. YEAH.

123. ALL RIGHT, I'M ABOUT TO GIVE

124. THE BEST PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN SPEECH EVER!

125. ALL THANKS TO THESE TRUSTY ORGANIZED INDEX CARDS.

126. OH, JEEZ.

127. ALL RIGHT.

128. FOUR SQUARE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO—

129. THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS—

130. FRED FIGGLEHORN AS YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT.

131. I WANT YOU—

132. TO ALWAYS WEAR A HAIRNET.

133. WE ARE THE 99 PERCENT—

134. TILE OF STANDARZIZED TESTING.

135. ON FRIDAYS, WE WILL ALWAYS WEAR PINK.

136. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

137. AND NOW, 'CAUSE I HOPE YOU ALL FLIP FOR FRED,

138. FRED SHALL FLIP FOR YOU.

139. HAH!

140. LOOK AT HIS SUIT.

141. - BANANA. NOW.

142. - AHH! thud!

143. I MEANT TO DO THAT.

144. - FRED, I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

145. YOUR POLL NUMBERS AREN'T POSITIVE.

146. - OH, THEY CAN'T BE THAT BAD.

147. - YES, THEY CAN.

148. THEY LITERALLY AREN'T POSITIVE.

149. YOU HAVE NEGATIVE FIVE VOTES RIGHT NOW.

150. - THAT'S LESS THAN I STARTED WITH!

151. - DON'T WORRY.

152. PEOPLE WILL COME AROUND EVENTUALLY.

153. I MEAN, WE'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP PUTTING OUR BEST FOOT FORWARD.

154. - OR OUR WORST FOOT FORWARD.

155. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

156. - THE ONLY REASON KEVIN'S WINNING

157. IS 'CAUSE HE'S FIGHTING DIRTY.

158. I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO FIGHT DIRTY.

159. WE'LL RUN ATTACK ADS AND PUT FAKE MUSTACHES ON HIS POSTERS.

160. - WHOA.

161. IF YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN HIM.

162. - AND?

163. - AND I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THAT.

164. I'D RATHER LOSE FAIR THAN WIN UGLY.

165. - IT'S WHAT LOSERS SAY.

166. - AND BESIDES, YOU'RE MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER

167. WHICH MEANS YOU DO AS I COMMAND WHEN I COMMAND!

168. - UH, CORRECTION. WAS YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER.

169. NOW I'M YOUR OPPONENT.

170. - HUH?

171. - IF YOU TWO ARE FIGHTING DIRTY, THEN I'M RUNNING AGAINST YOU.

172. I'M TOO BIG A STAR TO BE BEHIND THE SCENES, ANYWAYS.

173. WATCH OUT, LAWRENCE HIGH. HERE COMES PRESIDENT STARR.

174. - OH, MY GAMMIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LEFT!

175. WELL, FINE. I DON'T NEED HER.

176. I DON'T NEED ANYONE!

177. AND I ESPECIALLY DON'T NEED THIS HAND SANITIZER,

178. BECAUSE FRED FIGGLEHORN IS READY TO FIGHT DIRTY!

179. CLASS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE KEVIN

180. WOULD LIKE YOU TO THINK

181. HE LIVES ON THE COOL SIDE OF THE CUL-DE-SAC.

182. BUT IN REALITY, IT'S THE LAME SIDE.

183. FRED FIGGLEHORN LIVES ON THE COOL SIDE!

184. WHEN KEVIN WAS TEN, HE WAS AFRAID TO GO TO SLEEPOVERS

185. AND STILL SUCKED HIS THUMB.

186. DO YOU WANT A SCAREDY-CAT THUMB SUCKER FOR PRESIDENT?

187. FRED FIGGLEHORN ONLY SUCKED HIS THUMB

188. UNTIL HE WAS NINE AND THREE QUARTERS.

189. AND HE WASN'T AFRAID OF SLEEPOVERS.

190. HE JUST NEVER GOT INVITED TO ONE.

191. VOTE FRED FOR CLASS PRESIDENT!

192. HEY, EVERYBODY, IT'S FRED!

193. AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

194. - I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WENT THERE.

195. THAT IS SO LOW!

196. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

197. YOU'VE JUST GOT TO LET HIM HAVE IT

198. AT THE DEBATE LATER TODAY.

199. YOU GOT THIS, MAN.

200. - YEAH. I KNOW.

201. - DUDE.

202. - ALL RIGHT.

203. WE WILL NOW BEGIN THIS COMPLETELY FAIR DEBATE

204. FOR CLASS PRESIDENT

205. BETWEEN THE DORK, FRED...

206. - WHAT?

207. - AND MY MAN, KEVIN!

208. - DEE!

209. - UH, I'M HERE TOO.

210. - UH, YEAH, AND THAT STARR GIRL.

211. WHO ELSE THINKS SHE'S WEIRD?

212. COME ON. DON'T BE SHY.

213. I KNOW, RIGHT?

214. - CAN WE JUST GET TO THE DEBATE?

215. - FINE.

216. THEN WE'LL START WITH YOU.

217. A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THE RACE FOR CLASS PRESIDENT

218. IS JUST A POPULARITY CONTEST AND A CHANCE TO SHOW OFF.

219. WOULD YOU AGREE?

220. - NO, AND I WOULD LIKE TO FINISH MY ANSWER WITH A SONG.

221. - THAT WAS AWESOME.

222. YOU'RE GOING TO THE TOP.

223. HEY, HEY, HEY.

224. IT WASN'T THAT AWESOME.

225. FRED, KEVIN,

226. CARE TO RESPOND?

227. - SURE. - SURE.

228. - YEAH. - SURE, WE CAN.

229. - OKAY, OKAY.

230. - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

231. - I KNOW.

232. THE HEADLINE DOESN'T EVEN RHYME THIS TIME.

233. RHYME THIS TIME? THAT RHYMED.

234. HOW HARD IS THAT? I MEAN, REALLY?

235. - FIGGLEHORN.

236. FOCUS!

237. - YEAH. OKAY.

238. WELL, I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY

239. THAT STARR IS GOING TO BE BEATING US

240. JUST FROM SINGING ONE IMPRESSIVE HIGH NOTE AT THE DEBATE.

241. - YOU KNOW, I CAN SEE WHY SHE'D BE BEATING YOU, OBVIOUSLY,

242. BUT SHE'S GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON

243. TO BE BEATING ME.

244. I DON'T KNOW, LIKE A SECRET WEAPON OR A SPY.

245. - OR THAT?

246. - VOTE. VOTE, OKAY?

247. I CAN COUNT ON YOUR VOTE, RIGHT?

248. - SHE'S CHEATING!

249. - DUDE. SHE'S CHEATING.

250. - THAT'S WHAT I SAID.