Fred: The Show 1x11

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Tessa Netting as Eloise

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - SCHOOL IS GETTING SO HARD!

2. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A MILLION HOURS OF HOMEWORK.

3. FEEL HOW HEAVY MY BACKPACK IS.

4. FEEL IT. FEEL IT!

5. TRUST ME; IT'S REALLY HEAVY.

6. TODAY ALONE, I HAD TO TAKE TWO TESTS,

7. WRITE THREE ESSAYS, GET A WEDGIE,

8. TAKE A POP QUIZ, GIVE A WEDGIE,

9. MEMORIZE A DUMB POEM,

10. AND CLIMB A DIRTY OLD ROPE THAT LED TO NOWHERE!

11. AND WORST OF ALL, I GOT MY ALGEBRA TEST BACK,

12. AND I FLUNKED.

13. SINCE WHEN ARE LETTERS IN MATH?

14. AND NOW MY TEACHER, MS. CAPSHAW,

15. IS MAKING ME GET A TUTOR.

16. WHAT IF THE TUTOR'S MEAN?

17. WHAT IF I'M MEAN TO THE TUTOR?

18. WHAT IF THE TUTOR DRESSES FUNNY?

19. WHAT IF I CAN'T READ THE TUTOR'S HANDWRITING

20. AND END UP DUMBER THAN WHEN I STARTED?

21. - WHAT IF THE TUTOR THINKS

22. WE SHOULD GET STARTED WITH THE LESSONS?

23. WHEN DID YOU GET THERE?

24. - SINCE I LET MYSELF IN A HALF HOUR AGO, SUGAR.

25. I'M ELOISE.

26. - YOU DON'T HATE PUPPIES, DO YOU?

27. - WHY, HEAVENS TO BETSY, NO.

28. I DARE SAY THAT PUPPIES ARE THE COTTON CANDY

29. OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM.

30. - HOW CAN A PUPPY BE CANDY?

31. - SUGAR, THAT WAS A METAPHOR.

32. - A META FOR WHAT?

33. AND HOW CAN I BE SUGAR?

34. - GOLLY, LOOK AT THE TIME.

35. YOU KNOW, SEEING AS I'M HERE TO TUTOR YOU IN MATH

36. AND NOT ENGLISH, MAYBE WE SHOULD GET STARTED.

37. OKAY, I GUESS SO.

38. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

39. WHY DOES "A" SQUARED PLUS "B" SQUARED EQUAL "C" SQUARED?

40. CAN IT EVER EQUAL "C" RECTANGLED?

41. I KNOW 3.14 EQUALS PI,

42. BUT PIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOMETHING DELICIOUS,

43. AND THERE'S NOTHING DELICIOUS

44. ABOUT A NUMBER THAT GOES ON FOREVER.

45. AND NOT TO GO ON A TANGENT, BUT WHAT IS TANGENT?

46. AND WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT

47. BETWEEN A DENOMINATOR AND A NUMERATOR?

48. OH, OF COURSE, THE DENOMINATOR.

49. - MY SWEET STARS, I DARE SAY I NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU

50. IN MY WHOLE LIFE, FREDDY FIGGLEHORN.

51. BUT BEFORE I ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS,

52. I HAVE A FEW OF MY OWN FOR YOU.

53. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

54. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE WHEN YOU'RE OLDER?

55. ARE YOU ON TEAM EDWARD OR TEAM JACOB?

56. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND? WAS HER NAME LILAH?

57. I BET IT WAS LILAH. DARN YOU, LILAH.

58. I'M SORRY; I'M NOT USUALLY THE JEALOUS TYPE.

59. WHAT'S IN THE PAST IS PAST.

60. LILAH SCHMILAH.

61. DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW?

62. - YOU TALK FUNNY.

63. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

64. - WHY, GEORGIA, DARLIN'.

65. AIN'T I A PEACH?

66. - WHY IS EVERYONE A FOOD TO YOU?

67. - WELL, SHUCKS, I DON'T KNOW.

68. IT JUST IS, CUPCAKE.

69. - PLEASE EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT.

70. I HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM.

71. - DAMN IT!

72. DID YOU HEAR HER?

73. WHO RATTLES OFF THAT MANY QUESTIONS IN A ROW LIKE THAT?

74. AND WHAT'S WITH HER ACCENT?

75. SHE SAID SHE'S FROM "GEORGIA."

76. LET'S SEE EXACTLY WHERE THIS GEORGIA IS.

77. IT'S IN RUSSIA!

78. OF COURSE. I THOUGHT THAT WAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT.

79. WHY WOULD MY ALGEBRA TUTOR BE FROM RUSSIA?

80. AND WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY FAVORITE COLOR IS

81. AND IF I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

82. BECAUSE SHE'S NOT A TUTOR; SHE'S A SPY.

83. THAT'S HOW SHE GOT INTO THE HOUSE

84. WITH HER SPY TOOLS.

85. UNLESS I JUST LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED.

86. NO, SHE'S A SPY.

87. I MAY BE FLUNKING MATH,

88. BUT THIS IS ONE EQUATION I CAN SOLVE.

89. THEN SHE TOOK MY PICTURE AND SHOVED IT IN HER BAG

90. AND THEN LEFT THIS LEARNING NOTE IN MY LOCKER.

91. "ROSES ARE RED. VIOLETS ARE BLUE.

92. JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU."

93. DID YOU HEAR THAT, MOM?

94. THAT'S SPY-SPEAK FOR SHE'S WATCHING ME ALL THE TIME.

95. IF THESE AREN'T THE ACTIONS OF A SPY,

96. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

97. - WHAT KIND OF GOVERNMENT SECRETS

98. COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE?

99. - PLENTY, MOM.

100. PLENTY.

101. - MR. PRIME MINISTER, LOOK.

102. THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS AND URGENT MATTER.

103. CAN YOU HOLD ON FOR ONE MINUTE?

104. I GOT TO TAKE THAT.

105. YEAH, IT'S THE FRED LINE. OKAY.

106. HEY, FRED. HOW ARE YOU?

107. YOU'RE KIDDING.

108. WELL, THANK YOU FOR ONCE AGAIN SAVING US ALL

109. FROM GLOBAL CHAOS.

110. YOU KNOW WHAT?

111. I'M GOING TO SEND ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF HONOR

112. IN THE MAIL TO YOU.

113. OKAY. YOU STILL AT THE SAME ADDRESS?

114. - YES, AND BUBBLE-WRAP THEM THIS TIME.

115. OKAY, MOM, IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE—

116. MOM?

117. - AND IF THEN YOU DIVIDE EACH SIDE BY "Y"

118. AND REDUCE THE FRACTION,

119. YOU SHOULD END UP WITH "X" EQUALS 351,073.

120. SEE?

121. - THAT SPELLS YOUR NAME!

122. - WHAT?

123. IT DOES.

124. WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE?

125. - BERTHA, WHERE ARE YOU?

126. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT ELOISE DID.

127. SHE SPELLED HER NAME UPSIDE DOWN ON THE CALCULATOR.

128. ONLY A SPY COULD POSSIBLY DO THAT.

129. - ALISON, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

130. FRED IS SEEING MY NAME EVERYWHERE,

131. EVEN ON HIS CALCULATOR.

132. HE'S FALLING RIGHT INTO MY TRAP.

133. - BERTHA, WHEN YOU GET THIS, YOU HAVE TO CALL ME.

134. PLEASE.

135. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

136. - OKAY, IT'S ALL SET.

137. OPERATION GET FRED IS A GO.

138. - NOW THE SPY IS SPYING ON ME WITH THE SPY CAMERA?

139. I KNOW THE CAMERA LOVES ME, BUT THAT'S DIABOLICAL.

140. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO NOW.

141. OPERATION EXPOSE ELOISE IS A GO.

142. EW!

143. WHEW.

144. - HI, FRED.

145. thud!

146. - HI, FRED.

147. HOWDY, FRED.

148. HEY, ELOISE...

149. IF THAT'S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME.

150. - WELL, OF COURSE IT IS, APPLE DUMPLIN'.

151. ANYHOO, I BAKED THESE SPECIALLY FOR YOU.

152. THEY'RE APPLE DUMPLIN'S.

153. GOOD LUCK ON THE FINAL.

154. - FINAL? FINAL WHAT?

155. WHAT KIND OF SHOWDOWN IS SHE PLANNING?

156. - CLEAN YOUR DESKS. PENCILS OUT.

157. IT'S TIME FOR YOUR FINAL.

158. OOH, DON'T MIND IF I DO.

159. - HOW VILLAINOUSLY CLEVER.

160. SHE SET UP OUR FINAL CONFRONTATION

161. DURING OUR ALGEBRA FINAL.

162. HER SPY TACTICS HAVE NO BOUNDS.

163. ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE CARE OF ELOISE.

164. BUT FIRST I'LL TAKE THIS TEST,

165. WHICH I'VE NEGLECTED TO STUDY FOR

166. IN MY MISSION TO PROVE THAT ELOISE IS A SPY.

167. OKAY, QUESTION NUMBER ONE.

168. IF "X" EQUALS 4Y MINUS 7 AND "Y" EQUALS 12,

169. WHAT TIME DOES THE TRAIN ARRIVE IN CHI—

170. UGH, HOW CAN I FOCUS ON THIS TEST

171. WHEN THESE APPLE DUMPLINGS THAT ELOISE MADE ME

172. ARE SITTING RIGHT HERE?

173. - OH, I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK.

174. - I BAKED THESE SPECIALLY FOR YOU.

175. FOR YOU. FOR YOU.

176. - ELOISE IS TRYING TO POISON ME!

177. GOOD THING MRS. CAPSHAW TRIED ONE FIRST.

178. THESE APPLE DUMPLINGS ARE POISONED!

179. ELOISE IS A SPY!

180. - SECURE THE ROOM. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.

181. - LET'S GO, LADY.

182. CURSE YOU, FRED FIGGLEHORN!

183. NOW I WILL NEVER GUESS YOUR GOVERNMENT SECRET!

184. - LET'S GET HER OUT OF HERE. COME ON, GUYS.

185. - NO! - GO, GO, GO.

186. - AH! AH! TAKE THAT, APPLE DUMPLINGS!

187. TAKE THAT! YOU WILL NOT POISON ME!

188. - YOU THOUGHT I WAS A SPY?

189. - YOU SAID SO YOURSELF.

190. "OPERATION GET FRED IS A GO."

191. - IT WAS OPERATION GET FRED TO LIKE ME.

192. - LIKELY STORY.

193. WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN THIS POEM YOU WROTE ME, HUH?

194. - IT'S A LOVE POEM.

195. I SAID THAT 'CAUSE YOU'RE CUTE.

196. - SURE I AM.

197. AND WHAT ABOUT THE HIDDEN CAMERA?

198. - I WANTED TO WATCH YOU ALL THE TIME.

199. OKAY, THAT WAS A LITTLE CREEPY.

200. SO WAS SNIFFING YOUR GYM SOCK.

201. - ALL RIGHT, EVEN IF I WAS THAT IRRESISTIBLE,

202. IT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE POISONED APPLE DUMPLINGS!

203. - TOMMY, PUT YOUR SYNTHESIZER AWAY.

204. - THOSE AREN'T POISONED.

205. - THEY ARE TO ME.

206. I'M ALLERGIC TO APPLES.

207. UGH.

208. - SO YOU REALLY WERE JUST A TUTOR?

209. - YES.

210. - AND NOT A VERY GOOD ONE.

211. THAT'S WRONG. THAT'S WRONG.

212. THAT'S VERY WRONG.

213. - ELOISE, IT'S OKAY.

214. DON'T BE SAD.

215. I'LL JUST TAKE ALGEBRA NEXT SEMESTER.

216. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

217. - THAT'S NOT WHY I'M CRYIN'.

218. I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME BACK.

219. - I DO LIKE YOU BACK, AS A FRIEND.

220. AND I'D REALLY LIKE IT IF WE COULD START OVER.

221. - ME TOO.

222. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE YOUR SOCK BACK.

223. - YUP, THAT'S MINE.

224. - AND YOUR PICTURE.

225. - THAT TOO.

226. - ANT FARM AND BOWLING BALL.

227. YOUR SCUBA MASK. FEATHER FAN.

228. BOXING GLOVE. BOOMERANG.

229. AND YOUR SKUNK. squeak!

230. - WOW, THAT BACKPACK SURE HOLDS A LOT.

231. - YOU DON'T HAVE A DOCTOR IN THERE, DO YOU?

232. - MS. CAPSHAW?

233. NO TEST! YEAH!